


Fractured

by ela11



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-03-10 23:17:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 172,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3306962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ela11/pseuds/ela11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Reapers have been dealt with, and so too their creators. It should mean that Shepard and Kaidan can have a little peace. But something else lurks in the background that threatens to tear them and the galactic community apart.<br/>Follows ‘Struggle’ and ‘Resistance’.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Admiral Terra Shepard walked into the docking bay in her dress blues to a round of raucous applause from her crew, among others. Warmth filled her as she looked at them all gathered together again. Like them, she’d been passing time elsewhere for the last year and a half, just waiting for this moment.

Flashes of light to her left reminded her this was an event she had to share beyond her circle o friends and family. A multitude of reporters were crammed to one side, calling out in a bid to get a sound-bite to accompany the footage being captured by the hovering cameras clinking against each other. They were under the watchful eyes of the C-Sec officers Garrus had placed for crowd control, and Garrus himself was vigilantly overseeing them all from his elevated view beside the airlock.

Her pulse quickening in anticipation as the crew parted for her, Shepard could only focus beyond the viewing window at the newly-constructed vessel that beckoned her.

 _‘SSV Normandy’_ was emblazoned proudly across the sleek flank in that familiar blue, but framed in black. As expected, the Alliance emblem followed it with its solid arcs and stars, but more prominently was the far larger symbol of the Spectres in silver, superimposed over the name without interfering, instead giving ‘ _Normandy’_ a winged look. It was a nod from both the Alliance and the Council that Normandy was built solely for the command of the first human Spectre, and Shepard was incredibly honoured by it.

“She’s waiting for you.” Kaidan’s voice and proximity as he spoke softly into her ear never failed to reach her core, and heat rose up to her cheeks. She checked around her, hoping no one noticed. A quick glance revealed his luscious lips pressed together as though not to laugh. He’d done it on purpose, but two could play that game, and she turned just enough so that her backside brushed against his crotch, eliciting a small intake of breath from her husband. She flung him a look, silently telling him she was definitely going to make time to christen those new quarters in the coming hours….

“What do you think, Shepard?” called out Donnelly, his 20 month-old daughter perched on his shoulders, looking bemused by it all. “She’s a beauty, right?” He grinned out at the ship that awaited them.

“Of course she is. She’s been made with love,” enthused Gabby.

Shepard moved towards them, reaching up to stroke the sweet face of Skye. “She’s just as gorgeous as the last time I saw her.”

“Uh… I was talking about the ship, actually,” said Ken, and Shepard laughed.

“She knows that, dummy,” sighed Gabby before beaming proudly up at her little girl, understanding Shepard’s words as the double meaning she’d intended.

“Oh. Right.” Ken still looked none the wiser. “Well I can’t tell you how grateful we are to you for bringing us in for the re-build. It’s been a real privilege,” gushed Ken. “I could have happily done it without being bossed about by the old guy-“

“Hey, watch it,” warned Adams, light-heartedly.

“-but that young quarian of yours actually taught me a thing or two!”

“Her engineers better keep her in tip-top condition,” ribbed Daniels.

Shepard’s quarian engineer, Clay, stepped forward with a salute. “Don’t worry. I think we’re up to the task.”

“Daniels was right, though” added Adams. “The SR-3’s got our hearts and souls poured into her, Admiral. She’s made for _you_.”

The rumble of accord from everyone around her sent Shepard on the edge of blubbering, only the presence of the cameras keeping her mask in place.

A small figure passed by them determinedly, little hands grasping the railing. Aurora ‘Rorie’ Alenko peered out intently, before turning with a pout. “I want it to have a five on it, so it’s the same number as me.”

The declaration made them all laugh and Shepard crouched to address her daughter as she looked at the _SR-3_ detailed on the thrusters. “That’s how many ‘Normandy’s’ there been. I’m really hoping there’s no need for a _fourth_ , let alone a fifth.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” said Kaidan. Their eight-month old son, Nathan, was held securely within the circle of his father’s arm, and far more interested in the floating machines recording them. “And what would happen when you turn six?”

Rorie looked up at her father like he’d lost all sense. “You change the number, daddy. It’s only paint.”

“Huh! Right. Uh, sorry, honey.”

“Admiral Shepard!” The reporter’s voice shouted over the others, pulling her rudely out of a private moment in its demand to be heard. “It’s been close to two years since the last Normandy was destroyed. Will you finally release a response as to exactly what happened and by whom?” Shepard relegated that and the rest of the ensuing questions back to incessant background noise. It was all she _could_ do. The Council had requested the past threat of the Leviathans be kept quiet to maintain the public’s perception they were safe. The idea of indoctrination was one that was feared as much as any unseen killer such as a viral epidemic, and people rested easier believing it had been wiped out along with the Reapers. Shepard felt no desire to change that, even if that threat had also been eradicated.

She was about to turn away when she glimpsed a face at the back of the crowd so familiar but so shockingly impossible that it took her breath away. Anderson.

He wore that no-nonsense look that had been broadcast so many times since his death: it demanded respect while telling you he was someone you could confide in without judgement. Then a reporter jostled in front of him and when the view cleared so too had the vision of David.

“Mommy?”

The sound of Rorie’s voice tinged with worry had Shepard blinking out of her trance, and running a reassuring hand over her daughter’s black hair.

Kaidan moved to block the media’s view with his back. “Ignore them. The Council wanted a big show of Normandy’s unveiling, not a Q&A session.”

Shepard gave Kaidan a nod, choosing not to correct his assumption, though an unease spread through her. She missed David, and she’d have loved him to be here for this, but actually conjuring him up in her mind was beyond creepy. When Kaidan moved again, her eyes involuntarily flicked back to where she’d imagined Anderson but, of course, there was nothing there.

Then the thrum of the ship’s engines started on the other side of the glass, drawing her attention back to where it belonged, and provoking further elation from the crew. It was no surprise her impatient pilot was already aboard – Joker abhorred ceremony as much as she did - and that was doubtless his way of telling her to ‘hurry it up, already’.

Adams stepped in front of her with a smart salute and a proud grin. “Ready, Admiral?”

“Absolutely. Lead the way, Adams.”

Thoughts of being on her new ship and leaving this media circus behind, spurred Shepard on, and her ‘episode’ was pushed to the back of her mind. Rorie raced past Adams to be the first at the door. “Excited?” Shepard laughed at her daughter.

“Uh huh!” Rorie bounced, long used to the press attention and paying no mind as the lights and flashes followed her. Shepard was caught up in that enthusiasm as she stopped at the airlock. Her hand rested briefly on Garrus’ arm by way of greeting, to which she received the barest of nods before he returned to his watch; as always taking personal responsibility for the safety of the younger members of their eclectic and ever-growing ‘family’.

Behind her, the reporters quietened, waiting for a speech. The crew had congregated around her again, and the only thing she read in their faces was the same eagerness _she_ felt to get this done so they could board. With no compulsion to accommodate the media, she simply declared, “Let’s do this,” to an approving round of cheers and whistles from her crew.

“Care to do the honours, Miss Alenko?” Adams gestured at the door whilst addressing Rorie who looked beyond pleased at the VIP treatment.

“Open Sesame,” Rorie declared regally to the door, and the hatch slid open invitingly to yet another round of applause from the crew behind them.

“Happy flying,” wished Garrus. “Oh, and Rorie – no calibrating without me,” he said with pretend sincerity.

Rorie giggled, then gave him a salute with an “Aye, Uncle Gus.”

Stepping on board was like returning home after far too long away, and Shepard could admit there were times she thought Normandy would never be ready. She savoured the moment, absorbing every detail she could see from where she stood: the low lighting, the hum of the engine gently vibrating the floor beneath her and driving life through every part of the ship, the murmur of her crew conversing as they filed past her and into the ship, the smell of recycled air and leather. That last one, in particular, made her smile.

“So you got the leather seat,” she grinned as she entered the bridge.

Joker spun to face her with the look of a man who had gotten everything he wanted in life. “Fits like a glove – a soft, sexy padded one. Guess the Brass have finally wised up to the fact they need to look after their finest.” He sank back with a contented sigh. “Boy, it’s good to be back. Hackett’s ship is great and all, but she’s no Normandy.” He returned to his console. “Oh, and welcome aboard, Admiral,” he flung over his shoulder as an after-thought.

“What about me, Uncle Joker?” Rorie skipped over to peer around his chair.

“Yeah, yeah, you too, Pip-squeak. Just _don’t_ - _touch_ - _anything_.”

“Are you taking me to school now!?” she squealed in delight, jumping into the co-pilot’s seat. “Can _I_ drive?”

Rorie reached for the console and Joker batted her hand away. “Uh, what did I just say? Yes, I am, and no, you can’t. Go find Cortez. I’m sure he’ll let you _drive_ a shuttle.”

“Really!?”

Shepard gave the back of Joker’s head a light slap while Kaidan audibly sighed beside her.

“No, honey, and stop teasing her, Joker,” warned Kaidan.

Seeing Rorie in the co-pilot’s seat reminded Shepard someone was missing. “Where’s Edi?”

“She’s down in the AI Core, doing a final check before downloading her systems,” explained Joker. “It’s been weird not having her around all this time. You wouldn’t believe how often I forgot myself and started talking to the air. Pretty sure Hackett’s crew think I’m crazy. Having Edi on Liara’s ship was just plain unnatural.”

“ _I was merely a passenger on the Avastus. Though it was a fascinating experience to assist the Shadow Broker, I can assure you, Normandy is the only ship for me, Jeff. She alone has the sensor arrays dispersed throughout the ship that I require in order to be a part of it.”_

“Hey Edi, you’re back! I mean, _all_ the way back.”

“ _The transition of my Core backups into Normandy is complete. I am fully integrated._ ”

“So? How does she feel?” Shepard suddenly felt anxious over the answer, like this was an all-important test for _Normandy_ , and to fail in this would be to mar the whole ship.

“ _Like I have come home.”_

That made Shepard very happy. Normandy SR-3 was complete.

“ _Being confined solely to my mobile unit was strangely limiting. It may sound contradictory, but becoming contained within the ship again brings a freedom I have missed._ ”

Shepard couldn’t have put it better herself, and it brought no small amount of amazement that she could have so much in common with her artificial friend.

“I know _I_ missed her,” purred Joker.

Shepard watched her helmsman stroke his hands over his armrests and knew exactly how he felt. If she could, she would have hugged the ship. The SR-3 may be brand-new, but it still felt like an old companion who had returned from a long absence, helped along by the almost identical layout to its predecessor.

“Can we go downstairs now?” Rorie said with an impatient eagerness, already out of the chair. “I want to show Nate the new shiny ball in En-jeering. Boys like balls. But you can’t play with it,” she directed at her tiny brother, who was enraptured with his surroundings.

“Uh, we don’t have a ball,” scoffed Joker.

“Do.” Rorie stretched her arms up and out to indicate something huge. “It’s this big.”

“Yeah, I think I’d have noticed-.”

“Drive-core, Joker. In _Engineering_ ,” Shepard clarified, putting an end to the exchange before it turned into another of their soon-becoming-legendary bickering sessions that the pilot seemed to so readily fall into with Rorie. “Okay, Commander. You know the drill. Get us underway.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” grinned Joker, quickly distracted by the chance to take the SR-3 for her first test-drive. He quickly contacted Control, and there was a slight tremor as the docking clamps released. “Let the shakedown run commence.” Joker cracked his knuckles before his fingers began to glide expertly over the controls, the ship reacting instantly. “Destination: Grissom Academy.”

While Kaidan was pulled towards Engineering, Shepard stayed in place. Joker’s routine commentary as he checked systems was a sound she’d missed immensely, the words filling the air comfortingly around her. She’d spent too long in training facilities, imparting what she could to wide-eyed ensigns who hung off her every word. Being here, ready for action, was where she was meant to be.

Before she knew it, they had left the Citadel and were on approach to the relay, its two swirling rings continually framing the beautiful blue glow of the element zero held at its centre.

“How’s she performing, Commander?”

“Sweet,” Joker said, appreciatively. “Having our own guys overseeing the build was an act of genius, Shepard. They care, and it shows. That drive-core’s even better than before. FTL will be faster and for longer than ever, and this girl’s gonna turn on a dime. Did you know we can stealth longer before we have to vent now, too?”

“They’ve reinstated the Javelin disruptor torpedoes and Thanix cannon which the turians have upgraded, so she’s got a bigger bite than before. Multicore shielding in the form of cyclonic kinetic barriers have been implemented and strengthened courtesy of quarian and geth schematics, and just in case that’s not enough, the asari provided their latest Silaris ship armour so Normandy’s one tough bitch even without the shields,” listed Shepard. “Oh, and she can hold twice as much fuel now, as well.” She gave Joker a single raised eyebrow. “You really think I wouldn’t know every detail of our girl here?”

“Just checking, Shepard. I know you’ve been busy nursing…grunts,” he added cheekily.

“Laugh it up, fly-boy. Your time will come,” she added ominously.

His face went deadly serious. “Hey, they’ll have to resurrect my dead body and take over my brain before they get _me_ teaching.”

Shepard patted his shoulder. “That’s okay, Joker. Not everyone can handle the challenge.”

“Oh, low blow, Shepard.” He adjusted the cap on his head, with its ‘Joker’ playing-card image embroidered on its front, and ‘ACE’ at its back. “It’s great to have you back.”

“Missed you, Joker,” she answered, squeezing his shoulder - not that the Normandy crew past and present hadn’t constantly kept in touch and regrouped over the time they’d been parted, but it wasn’t the same as working together.

“Of course you did.”

Shepard was still relishing her amusement and her environment when they were pulled into the vibrant blues and whites of the relay.

-o-O-o-

-o-O-o-

Kaidan walked through the ship, wondering what adventures awaited Normandy and his wife while hoping he’d get to share some with her. A few more days and he’d be on Earth training a new biotic ops squad. The eight teams already out there were doing a great job, and were helping to maintain the prestige now enjoyed by biotic soldiers. As a result, the number of biotics coming into the Alliance had tripled three-fold, and Grissom was doing its part to ensure the young biotics out there had a happier experience than _he’d_ endured in his teenage years.

That made him think of Rorie. Usually a place for older children, Kahlee Sanders had designed an education program specifically for Rorie in order to have his unique daughter in her Ascension Project. Rorie was currently the only human biotic capable of controlling her dark energy without the use of implants, and the scientist in Kahlee was keen to see just what Rorie’s potential was.

She’d been attending for several months now and was absolutely loving it, not least because she was with the ‘big children’. Even on her first day, Rorie had taken it all her stride, seemingly undaunted by the concept of staying there for four days in a week. Of course, the appearance of Jack and her varren, Eezo, had made the transition a lot more exciting for his five year old, and she’d almost forgotten to say goodbye in her enthusiasm to explore the academy.

Though he and Terra had dropped her off only an hour ago - much to the amazement of the other students as they stared in awe at the SR-3 outside - he missed her already. Kaidan’s last image of his daughter was her riding Eezo, giggling as she waved back at them, and it made him smile every time.

The elevator opened and he stepped into the empty cab, only briefly wondering where Terra was when he caught that delicious fragrance she carried. “Huh! Um... I think I’ve told you many a time before that you can’t hide from me, beautiful.”

She materialised on his right with a lovely smile and he immediately pulled her to him and kissed that delectable mouth. “I can’t help but notice you seem to be Nate-less,” she observed, drawing the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth, which indicated an intent that was purely wicked and as such created a tide of arousal to surge through him.

“Luckily for me, he’s currently wooing his way through all the women on board.”

“I’m not surprised. He has his father’s looks.”

Kaidan bent his head to press his lips to a sweet spot she had beneath her jaw, and her arms tightened around him in response. “Think you’ve got time to test out the bed, Admiral?”

“Hmm…. I suppose it is a priority to ensure _every_ part of the ship is rigorously tested.”

“Rigorously…. I like that.” One handed, Kaidan released the fastenings of her jacket, then trailed his kisses down to the hollow at the base of her neck.

“Think you could manage it?” she teased breathlessly.

In way of his answer, he slid his hands to cup her behind and lifted her up, deliberately pressing himself at that intimate place of her so she groaned. The cab opened and he carried her through to the cabin, only taking in the briefest of details so he could ascertain his route to the bed. Lowering her down into the surprisingly plush, very non-Alliance bed, he soaked in the vision that was the woman he loved immeasurably. The way she looked at him was almost enough to bring him to his end. But not yet. First, he was going to _rigorously_ send her sky-high, before joining her there.

-o-O-o-

The artificial lights surrounding the research camp kept the night at bay as Lopan Huts exited the science lab with his old friend and work partner, Gates, making their way across the quiet camp to the communal area, all of their colleagues having already retired for the night.

After a whole day spent studying the native organisms through a microscope it was good to get out, even if he had missed the daylight hours. It seemed his employers had discovered a true paradise. So far, he’d found nothing in the surrounding vicinity that might cause harm to anyone, be they another race or his fellow salarians. He’d heard the geologists had even located small deposits of eezo nearby, so their company was going to be making a sizeable profit out of this venture even before they decided on whether to offer their claim on this part of the planet to various governments for colonisation by the highest bidder, or to transform it into a prime holiday destination and reap more profit over a longer term.

Lopan wasn’t worried either way. He was here as a scientist, and each new find was exhilarating as he documented and took samples for further study later.

“Hard to believe we’ve only been here twenty-eight of this planet’s cycles,” sighed out Gates when they entered the large but currently vacant leisure area that housed the dining and kitchen facilities, as well as recreational items which Lopan had never had an inclination to use. “It feels like we’ve been here years.”

“I’m beginning to think you might be in the wrong career,” advised Lopan; he was having a blast.

“Think you might be right,” frowned Gates. “What else would I do though? Never really had anything that truly called to me.”

Lopan was unsurprised. He’d always had the feeling his good friend was simply following the same path because he couldn’t find one of his own. Now Gates had finally recognised it. He patted his friend’s shoulder mainly because he didn’t know what else to do. Gates had to find his own way.

Moving into what Lopan considered a pointless kitchen, he picked out a packet of paste from a cupboard and sat down while Gates shook his head at him as he switched on the grill plate and readied some fresh produce specially imported for them.

“All this great food and you want to eat _that_? Aren’t you sick of it yet?”

Lopan shrugged. “It has all the nutrition I need, and it’s a far more efficient use of my time than standing there cooking.”

“What about enjoyment? You can’t tell me it’s a nice experience.”

“It does what it’s meant to. Enjoyment I get from my work.”

Gates just shook his head again as he set to work like a professional chef, and Lopan wondered if his friend would also see that his new path could actually be right in front of him.

Suddenly, a huge explosion somewhere outside rocked the building they were in, and the two of them stared at each other in shock for a few seconds before scrambling over to peer out of a window in time to hear their security personnel firing out from the perimeter.

“Native animals we haven’t discovered maybe?” worried Gates.

Then Lopan could hear his colleagues’ screams. Whatever it was had made it past the perimeter. Was the patrol team even still alive? That thought filled him with more fear. That small but skilled security force was all the protection they had.

Lopan’s eyes widened as he caught sight of an attacker exiting a habitat, salarian blood splattered across armour. “Krogan!”

“But-but-!” was all Gates could stammer. Lopan understood. There was a truce. An uneasy one, yes – no thanks to their last Dalatrass - but it had held, due to the efforts of the krogan leader Urdnot Wrex, Ambassador Bakara, and Admiral Shepard. But this was an unprovoked slaughter!

The doors to their own building were blown in, and Lopan dived behind the counters, pulling Gates with him, hoping they hadn’t been seen.

Hunkered down as low as possible, he and Gates pressed themselves into the floor. _Don’t look behind here. Don’t look behind here,_ Lopan inwardly pleaded.

The counter exploded, and Lopan could only gape, appalled, as Gates sat there looking down at the hole in his chest.

“Oh dear,” Gates rasped at him. His eyes then rolled back and he collapsed.

Dead…. His good friend was dead…. Lopan back-pedalled away from the horrific sight until he bumped into something that made his blood chill. He didn’t need to look up, the large hand clamped onto his head and hauled him up until his feet could no longer touch the ground.

A second krogan moved in front of him, laughing nastily.

“Can’t hide from _us_ , vermin.”

“Please!” begged Lopan, knowing it was futile but needing to try as he writhed under the krogan’s grip.

“Clan Urdnot say hello. Krogan vengeance is calling,” announced the krogan, and Lopan’s racing heart went heavy. Urdnot…. The truce was over. The deeds of his race’s leaders had brought this on them. Whatever response his people and their allies took next, it would be too late for him.

The second krogan looked purposefully down at the hot grill-plate Gates had been standing at not five minutes ago, and the evil grin that spread across the krogan’s face was enough for Lopan to know exactly what was coming his way.

**-o-O-o-**


	2. Chapter 2

The bacon sizzled in the pan, sending a familiar smell of his childhood home Kaidan’s way. He could admit he needed the comfort it brought. Checking the time told him there was at least an hour before Rorie was likely to call them to say goodnight, and he sighed in disappointment. It had only been a day but he felt her absence keenly whenever they were at home.

“The burning bacon tells me you’re somewhere else.”

Terra’s voice was full of soft understanding, and her hands smoothed their way down his arms, then forward until they had firmly anchored the rest of her against his back. He felt her tiptoe slightly to press her lips to that sensitive place over the implant at his nape, sending a ripple of pleasure down his spine, before she rested her head at his shoulder.

Her soothing, loving touch worked to banish the pining. Quickly removing the bacon from the heat, Kaidan lifted his arm in order to draw his wife to his side, sharing a tender kiss. Even such a brief moment of intimacy was enough to stir up his whole body with want; such was the power of Terra Shepard.

Lips parting, they looked down at the offended piece of meat.

“Take-out?” Terra said, dryly.

“Hh! Yeah, uh, I think it might be a wise choice.”

She turned to fully face him. “How about I head over to Fraticelli’s?”

“The Italian who excels at Chinese food? Sounds good to me, but considering it was my fault dinner failed, _I_ should go.”

“Actually, you’re going to be busy. This just came in from Arcturus.” She reached behind her to grab the datapad she’d discarded in order to hug him, and it occurred to Kaidan how easy they both slipped from husband and wife to focused soldiers.

They were experts now in juggling the two sides of their lives in a way that eluded so many others. Not that balancing their duty to the galaxy and to their children was simple, but they had a wealth of friends willing to help, as well as his parents and Terra’s father, and Rorie was testament to the fact they were doing alright.

Kaidan settled against the counter beside Terra as he took the datapad.

“There’s trouble at some of our remoter colonies from currently unidentified mercs,” Terra briefed him. “Intel from the various colonists states they’re all reasonably small groups – all human - and they all seem to include capable biotics. The colonies security personnel each outnumber them ten times over but haven’t been able to bring any of them down. They’re holding out for now, but they’ll need assistance soon.”

“And this is galaxy-wide? Sounds like an orchestrated attack, but it’s a poor attempt to grab resources with so few men. They’d have been more successful had they combined their numbers and hit one colony at a time. Could there be something more to it?”

“Maybe. Without knowing who we’re dealing with it’s impossible to know how well manned they are beyond what we’re seeing here, but if these mercs are hoping we’ll respond in force and divert ships away from other key sites so they can hit them too, they’re mistaken.”

“So the Brass want small strike teams sent in.”

Terra nodded. “There’s ten sites in all. With your eight squads, that’ll leave two. You and I can take one now that we have Normandy back in action, and I expect they’ll choose James and his team for the other. They just want you to assess the environments and select which ones you think your squads would be better suited for, which means you’ve got some missions to assign, General. We leave in the morning.” She followed it with a swift kiss he wasn’t quite fast enough to reciprocate. Then she was breezing out of the apartment, throwing one last sexy look over her shoulder.

Disposing of the ruined bacon, Kaidan vowed he was going to enjoy distracting himself with his wife tonight…. In the meantime, he’d have to settle for the datapad.

-o-O-o-

Despite being at home, a place she always found relaxing, Dalatrass Narra stood tensely on her balcony overlooking Sur’Kesh’s sprawling, lush city. The daylight was fading, sending a fiery light onto the buildings in the horizon. But where it would normally have been beautiful, this time she perceived it as fire encroaching and it made her shiver, as though it was a portent.

She was waiting.

Over the last day’s cycle, five remote salarian facilities, six ships, nine research camps, and even two of their smaller colonies, had sent maydays before dropping out of contact completely. The implication of so many attacks on salarian interests was truly troubling, and in response she’d sent STG teams to investigate each and every one.

Until she had some answers, she couldn’t rest.

-o-O-o-

Shepard walked through her favourite part of the market ward. The stalls and small restaurants here sold exclusively human foods, and the smell was wonderful, bringing back so many memories of things her mother would procure for her as a child. It was only a recent discovery. The size of the Citadel meant that much of it she’d yet to investigate, but her prolonged down-time had given her the opportunity to delve deeper into the Citadel’s offerings to find this hidden treasure.

The reason for her delay in returning to active duty, asides from her extensive knee injury and awaiting the third Normandy’s construction, was their new arrival.

Warm feelings surged forth at the thought of her son; she’d left him fed and settled, knowing he’d sleep until morning now. A tiny version of his father, he was destined to break hearts, though she’d given him her chocolate-brown hair and eye colour. Visually, he was the exact opposite to his big sister, Rorie, and Shepard was already seeing the difference in their personalities. Where Rorie was into something for a few seconds before she flitted energetically onto the next item of temporary interest, Nate would happily sit and investigate what was in front him for considerable amounts of time, as though he wasn’t content until he’d worked out everything about it and what it could do. He didn’t have any biotic ability, either. In fact, the only thing Nate seemed to have in common with his sister was that he was utterly adorable.

Terra missed Rorie desperately. Being home without her always felt strange, and everywhere she went now echoed a recollection of Rorie being there too. As a hungry human biotic, her daughter had adored sampling the delights on offer here.

Arriving at the modest eatery, Shepard slipped inside and joined the line of expectant diners-on-the-go.

“Ah! Shepard! Back for more, eh? That’s what I like to see. You know, you’re becoming one of my best customers! And you’re definitely my favourite! Come!” Antonio Fraticelli beckoned her from where he stood behind the counter, and Shepard sent apologetic looks to those in the queue, though most just looked back at her agog.

“Evening, Tony,” she smiled as she reached him. Fraticelli’s owner and chef was easily twenty years older than her father, with stark white hair that needed a good cut and comb, and an equally dishevelled beard that had convinced Rorie he was Santa, apparently selling noodles in his spare time.

“No little angel today? I’ve been working on my ho-ho-ho just for her!” he laughed, big and loud. “And no bambino, either?”

“Rorie started another term at Grissom, and Nate’s down for the night.”

“Ah.” He sighed wistfully. “The sound of young children…. Those are the things I miss the most.”

Terra didn’t say anything. She already knew he was alone – his own children and grandchildren all lost to the Reapers. It’s why he moved here from Earth after the devastation and incredible loss: too many reminders.

“The usual, for two?” Tony checked.

“Please.”

“Coming right up.”

Glancing behind her, Shepard winced at the gathering and growing crowd outside the restaurant. During the day, people passed her with nothing more than an interested look, but the evenings meant those same people unwinding with a drink or two, and it emboldened them to ask all those _many_ burning questions they had. She should have thought to grab a cap. It was amazing how a piece of headgear could extend her a little anonymity.

A couple of onlookers were inching forward.

“Here you go.” Tony passed her the order and peered behind her. “You’re a great advertisement, by the way. I should probably pay you a commission, eh!?” His booming laughter always encouraged her own.

“Just keep making delicious noodles, Tony.”

“Now that I can do,” he smiled. “And how about I also give you an escape route, eh?”

“Tony, you’re a godsend.”

That made the elder man very happy as he lifted the counter so she could nip through. “Head straight through the kitchen and there’s an exit at the back. Enjoy dinner!”

Kissing his cheek, Shepard then made her way through and out into the back alleyway, deciding to follow it a little further along before she attempted to make her way back to the main walkway.

The restaurant door opened behind her and she looked over her shoulder, expecting to see Tony or one of his kitchen staff, but whoever it was must have changed their minds because no one exited. Carrying on, she threaded her way past the sacks of rubbish awaiting disposal but with each step she got a growing feeling she wasn’t alone.

Her muscles tensed automatically as her body listened to her instinct to fight at the prospect of a threat. Spinning, her hand on the gun she always carried at her hip, she saw the figure just a few feet from her, her jaw dropping along with the take-out that landed at her feet.

It couldn’t be….

“Mom?” Shepard whispered. Her mother looked just like she did on the vids: immaculately presented in her dress uniform and completely unblemished in the way Alliance-sanctioned vids liked to portray their poster-soldiers.

She missed her mother terribly, but this…? Shepard was frozen to the spot as her mother smiled gently back at her while moving closer. A hand reached out and when it touched her cheek – a warm, solid touch – a sob escaped to accompany Shepard’s falling tears.

“My beautiful baby girl.”

Launching herself forward to wrap her arms around her mother, Shepard’s head screamed it wasn’t possible. Hannah Shepard had died when she sent her ship ploughing into a Reaper in order to give them more time to dock the Crucible. Her father had witnessed it. Nevertheless, she held on, ignoring the fact that her mother wasn’t holding her back. It felt like hugging someone for the first time, it had been so long. “How can you be here?”

“I’m not, Terra.”

Shepard stiffened, fear replacing the stunned, confused joy - its chill crawling over her. She let go and her mother stepped back with a strange smile. Then the edges of her went blurry, the surroundings seeming to engulf her until she was gone.

Shepard started trembling, her breathing ragged. It had seemed so real. It had _felt_ so real. Shaking hands rose to cradle her head. What did this mean?

o-O-o

Kaidan was getting worried as he paced up and down. Nate was screaming into his chest and nothing he did was making any difference.

That his son had woken once he’d been laid down for the night was unusual, and Kaidan had _never_ heard him cry like this before. He was about to call Chakwas when it occurred to him that Terra had been gone for a while….

The mutated thorian spores created in Rorie, which had later been placed within Terra to help combat the Leviathans, had also been transferred to Nate during his conception. They already knew those spores had given Terra and Rorie a mental connection to each other, and as Nate had them too, Kaidan wondered if he was sensing something wrong with his mother.

Just as Kaidan was about to try to call Terra, Nate stopped, with only the occasional hiccup from his previous upset.

Still, Kaidan was unsettled now. Noting Nate was now falling back to sleep on his shoulder, Kaidan placed his son back in the cot and hurried out to the hall to call Terra. It was answered instantly.

“ _Hey. Sorry for the delay. I went and dropped our dinner and had to go back. I’m on my way_.”

There was a breathlessness to her voice that gave the impression she was rushing, but Kaidan thought her light tone sounded forced.

“Terra, is everything all right?” The pause, however brief, spoke volumes.

“ _I’m fine. Really. I just- I…. I’ll explain when I get home_.”

Finishing the call, Kaidan went to perch himself on the edge of the lounge couch to wait, wondering what could have possibly happened to perturb his fearless wife.

**-o-O-o-**


	3. Chapter 3

Standing right beside the medbay bed, Kaidan watched with nerves taut as the scan ran over Terra, head to toe. He could tell she was incredibly tense too, and all he wanted to do was get her out from under the machine and take it all away.

Returning home last night, Terra had walked straight to the kitchen, placed the take-out cartons on the counter and instantly threw herself into his arms. With hunger pushed aside by concern, Kaidan had simply lifted her off her feet and taken her over to the sofa, holding her tightly whilst running a soothing caressing hand over the head she’d buried beneath his chin. Then he’d waited. It had taken her a good ten minutes before she was able to tell him what was troubling her.

_I think something’s wrong with me._

Her words, so full of fear, had left him speechless for too long. She’d filled the silence with what had happened in the alley behind Fraticelli’s: a hallucination of her mother so real to her she was sure she’d felt it; hugged it. Before he could suggest it was merely someone who had looked like her mother, she’d added how it had faded away. All he could do was hold her and assure her he’d call Chakwas - in the morning, because Terra wouldn’t allow him to disturb the doc’s evening.

Then Rorie’s call had come, distracting them with her happy, vibrant chatter, before she finished with a huge yawn. Closing the call had been hard, and the silence had brought back the worries from earlier. Taking Terra’s hand, he’d led her up to bed, and held her through the whole sleepless night.

A bleeping brought Kaidan back to Normandy’s medbay. Its task complete, the scan switched off. Terra immediately got off the bed to stand beside him, facing the doc with a stance that was pure Admiral, like she couldn’t face it as anything less. Then she leaned just enough to press her shoulder against his – a crack in the facade.

“Everything appears to be fine. Physically, you’re in perfect health, Shepard,” declared Chakwas, but Kaidan noticed Terra’s posture hadn’t relaxed with that assurance. “Nothing to explain your hallucination. Have you been sleeping?”

Terra nodded, stiffly. “Except for last night.”

“Then what could have caused it, doc?” asked Kaidan. Like Terra, he also found little comfort in having no real answers. Nothing _physically_ wrong….

“It’s entirely possible it was just a one-off event. Some external influence. Back-alleys won’t be the most hygienic places. Who knows what all those stores kick out of their vents. Maybe it was down to nothing more than a concoction of fumes,” reasoned Chakwas, though her gaze was misdirected as though she couldn’t reinforce it with her usual confidence. One look at Terra told Kaidan she was as unconvinced as he was.

Chakwas reached out to place a reassuring hand on Terra’s arm. “You’ve shown no other indicators that would raise concern. All I would advise at present is that you avoid that same area and see if it happens again.”

Kaidan understood the shudder from his wife. No one wanted the prospect of being faced with the apparition of a loved one.

“And if it does?” Terra almost whispered. With it, she visibly sagged in such a way that it alarmed Kaidan to see it.

Chakwas faltered, her gaze flicking to him before returning to Terra. “There’s a prominent asari doctor working right here in Huerta. She’s the best there is in all things related to the brain, from neurology to psychiatry. But I’m sure it’s unnecessary.”

A psychiatrist. That would mean the only other explanation was a mental disorder…. Kaidan caressed his hand down Terra’s arm until he’d entwined his fingers in hers.

“Then call her,” Terra said grimly, to Kaidan’s surprise. Her hand tightened on his. “Because it wasn’t the first time.” She swallowed, her brow furrowed, and dread rose within Kaidan. “In the docking bay yesterday…I saw Anderson at the back of the journalists. Nothing dodgy there but the reporting,” she added, with forced levity.

“You never said,” worried Kaidan.

“I brushed it off as a trick of the mind, but after last night…I have to face the fact that this is something more.”

Kaidan didn’t know what to say. She looked thoroughly lost for a moment, then pulled herself in with a deep breath.

“I’ll call my father; have him assign someone else to accompany you on the mission,” she said to him. “You have command of the ship. I’ll let the crew know there’ll be a delay on the departure.”

“What? No. Terra-”

“I’m not fit for duty, Kaidan.”

Her words cut through his own, and it took him a few stunned seconds before he was able to respond. There was a resigned finality in her voice which filled him with more fear than he’d experienced in quite some time.

“I wouldn’t say that, Shepard,” Chakwas refuted, except Kaidan could sense the ‘but’ before it came. “Though I agree it should be checked out before you resume command.”

It was a logical course of action, and one that Kaidan couldn’t dispute no matter how much he wanted to. Fine. But he’d be damned if Normandy was going anywhere without Terra. “Hackett can put someone else on the mission. I’m not leaving you, Terra.”

At first she looked like she was about to protest, but that brilliant brain was thinking it through. “I suppose you’re right. I shouldn’t be alone; I could endanger Nate.”

“Nonsense!” exclaimed Chakwas, sternly.

“And that’s not what I meant,” Kaidan frowned. “You need support. Look, _I’ll_ talk to Hackett. You deal with your crew.”

“We’ll get this sorted, I’m sure,” tried Chakwas. “I’ll arrange an appointment and get back to you.”

“Thanks,” Terra murmured.

Her hand slipped out of his, and Kaidan watched her walk dejectedly out of the medbay, stopping at the Mess to collect Nate from one of the crew, then heading to the elevator, cradling their son close.

Exchanging a glance with an equally concerned Chakwas, Kaidan hoped like hell this was just a freak occurrence.

-O-

By the time Shepard had finished her announcement, Joker had his full attention on her, and she wished, if only this once, that Joker would just accept orders without question like the rest of her crew.

“What’s going on?”

She deliberately concentrated on the wonderful little boy in her arms for a few seconds, blowing a raspberry into the palm of his hand to make him chuckle.

“We weren’t needed after all,” she said finally. Her eyes touched briefly on Edi, who sat in the co-pilot’s seat and would know everything said in the medbay. But Edi remained dutifully silent. Shepard didn’t like the lie, but neither was she ready to voice the thoughts in her head: that she might be going crazy; that she might never be able to captain Normandy again; that her career could be over. She clutched Nate closer then, suddenly fearing she really might be deemed incapable of raising him.

Joker stared back at her and she held his scrutiny, driving that impenetrable part of her to the fore so he wouldn’t see beneath. When he shrugged it brought her a reprieve.

“And what? You can’t find us any other trouble to get into? You must be losing your touch, Shepard.”

“Something like that,” she hushed.

“So we don’t get to go anywhere,” Joker grumbled. “Sitting in a bad-ass ship that’s docked isn’t fun, Shepard.”

“It is beyond Shepard’s control, Jeff,” Edi said, and Shepard wondered what the AI was making of all this.

“She’s a Spectre,” pointed out Joker. “She can go take out all of Omega right now if she chose to. So?” He then looked at Shepard with an expectant seriousness that almost had her on the verge of laughing.

“Newsflash, Joker: I’m not starting an unprovoked war with Aria just because you’re bored.”

His omnitool chimed and Joker brightened when he read the message. “Hey! Altair’s in. Seems she’s just docked for re-fuelling. She’s only got an hour before leaving to pick up our very own Vega, but she’s wondering if I’ve got time for a catch-up.”

Saved by Altair. “Then it’s fate that we’re still here. Go,” ushered Shepard.

He stood up, looking far more energised, then hesitated as he laid eyes on Edi. “Oh. Uh… I don’t have to go if you’d rather do something, Edi. I didn’t meant to just bail on you.”

“I am fine, Jeff. Altair is on limited time. We can ‘do something’ later.”

“Right. Great. Thanks, Edi. See you later, Shep.”

With Joker out of the airlock in a flash, Shepard smiled to herself.

“I do not believe Jeff recognises the extent of his own feelings for Altair,” observed Edi, saying what Shepard was thinking. “Maybe I should tell him that his heart-rate increases rapidly whenever he receives a message from her. He insists their relationship is only a platonic one. I worry that Jeff is holding back because he is concerned about my ‘feelings’. We have had a conversation about it in the past, but Jeff has changed since then.”

Shepard sat in that rarely vacant seat, placing Nate on her lap so he could reach forward to the bright display of the console. “How _do_ you feel about it?”

“I do not know how to describe it. Is it possible to be happy for someone while also being sad?”

Her heart went out to the AI who had somehow become so…organic. “From experience, yes, Edi. Yes, it is. Are you alright?”

“I will…adapt.” Edi paused, and as she looked at Shepard, a sorrow became visible on her face. “You are…malfunctioning.”

It was delivered so gently that Shepard wasn’t prepared for the swell of fear-driven emotion that breached her wall. “Maybe.”

They fell into silence, only Nate’s soft babbling filling the void until Kaidan walked in.

“Everything’s sorted with your father. Coats has got a good team he’s keen to put to the test, so they’ll take our place. In the meantime, let’s get out of here. I’m thinking a stroll down to the new gardens that opened yesterday. Inspired by Thessia, I believe. They’ve been saying it’s a beautiful, immersive place to visit.”

He was trying to distract her, and she loved him for it. Turning Nate, Shepard lifted him up, bringing his gorgeous face level with her own. “How about it? Want to go get those grasping hands of yours on some prized flowers?” He gave her a beautiful smile that accompanied his father’s laugh, and Shepard stood, finding herself looking forward to being ‘immersed’.

As Kaidan’s hand automatically found its place at her waist when she moved to his side, Shepard looked at the lone seated figure. “Edi?”

“I do not wish to intrude.”

“You’re more than welcome, Edi,” reinforced Kaidan, and Shepard treasured the way her man seemed to know what was important to her. As though Nate also understood, he reached for Edi.

The AI actually looked grateful. “Thank you. I would love to.” When she stood to join them, Edi took Nate with painstaking care, and led the way out, leaving Shepard free to appreciate Kaidan.

Her hands slid up that strong chest protecting his beating heart, then carried on, threading her fingers through his dark hair to cradle the skull protecting that clever, gentle mind she loved so completely. But that also reminded her of her own and the fear returned.

As usual, her husband saw it. “You’re fine, Terra.” His kiss told her whatever happened he’d be there for her, but it also gave away that he was frightened too. “Come on.”

Determined to enjoy this time, just as she had every day they’d had since the Leviathans fell, Shepard pushed worries of her sanity aside.

-o-O-o-

Joker sat at a table at Apollo’s overlooking the Presidium Lake. Flight Lieutenant Robin Altair had turned her chair so she was almost sitting right beside him, and was still laughing from his joke. Joker really liked the sound.

He imagined that her childhood hadn’t been that fun, her awful mother constantly dragging her down with her cruel words; punishing her daughter for her own failings. But somehow (and Joker still wondered at the inner strength she must have found to be able to do it) Altair had discovered the freedom flying provided. She’d hit a stumbling block along the way - that lack of worth planted by her mother had clipped her wings - but thankfully it was reparable, and Altair had reached her true potential. Joker was pretty darn pleased to have been the one to help her get there… okay, with a little nudge from Shepard. Now, she was around people who appreciated her and her talent.

So, after everything she’d been through, it was though when she laughed it was with abandon. She’d earned it.

A light-brown curl from the many that framed her face, stuck to the mirthful tears, and without thought Joker reached out and released it. Altair hadn’t noticed, but it shocked Joker. He didn’t do things like that. The only person he made any kind of contact with was Shepard, and that was because she was like a sister to him, and a hug from her was kind of the norm.

“You okay? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” Altair’s brown-flecked green eyes were still full of amusement, and he really wanted to keep it there.

“More like a crazy woman. It wasn’t that funny!” he ribbed.

Altair gave a light-hearted wince. “Sorry. I guess I hadn’t realised just how much I needed to laugh. There’s not a lot of it going around under Mikhailovich’s command. He’s a real stickler for protocol.”

“They all are,” imparted Joker. “It’s just that you’ve been spoiled on the Normandy. Believe me, I feel for you. Being under Hackett was bad enough, and he’s not half as bad as some out there.”

“How can he be? He’s Shepard’s dad.”

“Pff. I suppose there must be some similarities but I don’t see them. Shepard’s in a class of her own.”

Altair sighed, wistfully. “It must be great to be back out there with her.”

“It would be. Except we’re docked,” moaned Joker. He couldn’t help it – it was frustrating as hell, not to mention that Shepard was definitely off and he hated not knowing what was going on. “One shakedown run, and it didn’t end with the Academy up in flames. So disappointing.”

“Jeff!”

“What?”

“You’re terrible,” she laughed. “And an adrenaline junkie.”

“All pilots are adrenaline junkies,” he stated.

Then Altair’s omnitool went off, signalling her need to return to her ship, and Joker was surprised again at just how much he wasn’t ready for her to go.

“Damn, that sure went fast,” sighed Altair, and Joker stood when she did, her petite frame always making him feel sturdier in comparison. “I really enjoyed this. It was great to catch up. Can’t believe it’s been a couple of months. Couldn’t believe you would actually leave Normandy and that new cushy leather seat to come meet me, either,” she added, teasingly.

“Well, you know Shepard. Nag, nag, nag, to get out more,” he rolled his eyes, to be rewarded with more laughter.

“I miss that seat,” she mused, teasing, then a sincerity fell over her face. “And I miss _you_.”

“Yeah…I- Well- I-” Damn it! When the hell did he get tongue-tied? She just smiled at him, then leaned forward to kiss his cheek. She brought the aroma of jasmine with the faint linger of the coffee she’d just finished, and he liked it.

“Bye, Jeff.”

“See you soon, Robbie.” He realised that somewhere along the way of a year or so passing, they’d dropped titles and other formalities.

“And we should definitely do this again,” she added as she backed away, then turned.

Joker watched her go, returning the wave she gave him before she rounded the corner out of sight. “It’s a date,” he said softly.

-o-O-o-

Dalatrass Narra stood in her office facing the large screen that connected her to the Salarian Union. Her news had been grave after the disturbing reports from the STG teams had come in.

“ _Nothing was taken during these raids? Intelligence? Research data?_ ” queried a Union member.

“Not a thing of value other than the lives of our people.”

“ _No survivors at all!?_ ” exclaimed another.

“One. He’s barely lucid, but he did manage to answer the question of who did this _.”_

“ _And_?”

“See for yourself _._ ”

Narra played the file. It cut straight to a hospitalised salarian, his face so badly burned on one side that he barely had any flesh left there.

“ _Who attacked you, Doctor Huts_?” urged an STG agent.

Despite having already watched it, the pained sounds from Dr Lopan Huts as he tried to speak still made the Dalatrass wince.

“ _… Clan Urd- … Urdnot says … hello. Time for … krogan vengeance_ ,” rasped Huts, before passing out.

Ending the recording, Narra look back at the horrified Salarian Union members. Just like her, they knew what it meant.

“ _We must rally our allies immediately!”_

“Our response needs to be carefully considered,” countered the Dalatrass, reluctant to jump to knee-jerk reactions. “This may well be the actions of an organised few. Reacting in force could push all krogan to take up arms.”

“ _And if it’s a full-scale attack, delay could be catastrophic!_ ”

Many of the Union members nodded in agreement with that declaration.

Dalatrass Narra felt the weight of what hung over them all. She truly didn’t know what to do for the best. Had this been the krogan leader’s plan all along once they’d been cured? Or had Dalatrass Linron’s foiled plan to destroy any possibility of a krogan threat by using the yahg as their weapons, been the final insult which couldn’t be ignored?

There was only one thing she knew for certain: the salarians had doomed themselves the second they’d conceived the very notion of the genophage.

-o-O-o-

Terra was truly relaxed as she walked through the door into their apartment. Kaidan had been right about the Thessian Gardens; it was like stepping off the Citadel and into a small slice of paradise. The flowers large and small created an amazing myriad of colours and wonderful fragrances that all worked to relieve any stress you walked in with, and they had spent a big part of the day absorbing it all. Nate had been wide-eyed throughout the whole experience, taking it all in, and that precious distraction had been just what Shepard needed. Following that, Edi had said her goodbyes and they decided to eat out.

After all the excitement, Nate had fallen asleep, and Terra took him up to his cot.

Kaidan was waiting outside the doorway when she exited Rorie’s room, pulling her in for a kiss she gave in to gladly.

“I’m thinking we carry on this relaxation theme we have going. How about a hot tub session?”

“Hm. Warm bubbles and you, bare. How can a girl resist? Of course, it won’t be complete without some bubbly in a glass, too, and I’m up for practicing my massage skills after….”

“Deal.”

Shepard started to tease her fingers under his uniform. “Go slip into your birthday suit while I grab the wine.” She sent him a roguish smile and he was off, shucking his shirt before he’d even gotten near their bedroom door, then turning to look at her with a smile that nearly had her in a puddle on the floor.

“Hurry,” he said, huskily, and she was grinning stupidly as she raced down the stairs.

Chakwas had managed to get the asari doctor to see her first thing in the morning, and that dread and uncertainty hung at the back of her mind, but it was confined there – recognised but ignored because she had to maintain some hope that her hallucinations weren’t indicative of anything serious, and because right now Kaidan was waiting for her.

Grabbing the wine from the fridge, her thoughts were now solely on the wonderful man currently alone upstairs. A wanton shiver went through her at the prospect of the evening ahead with him. Turning to reach for some glasses, she dropped the bottle in shock, barely hearing it shatter on the floor as she stared at the figure standing in front of her.

“Hey, Shepard.” That lovely, familiar, accented voice sliced right into her heart.

Shepard shook her head, closed her eyes, and told herself Tali couldn’t be there. _She’s gone. She isn’t here because she can’t be real_. But when she opened her eyes again, her dead quarian friend still stood there.

Nate’s screams filled the air, and Kaidan was running across the hallway, but Shepard could only look back in dismay at the apparition, here, in her home.

Shepard stood paralysed to the spot as Tali reached out and touched her hand. Despite the gloved quarian hand, Shepard felt warm skin on hers. A vague memory surfaced from that alleyway, which her shocked brain had overlooked and only now registered: that she’d felt that same inconsistency between what she saw and what she’d felt when she’d held her mother. Then Tali removed the mask to reveal that beautiful face Shepard had been lucky enough to see once, and unlucky to have seen twice, when she’d had to close Tali’s lifeless eyes on Earth. Tali’s lovely face smiled with joy just as she had on Rannoch.

“Terra!?” Kaidan was moving quickly down the stairs near the front door, Nate still crying in his arms. The vision of Tali vanished, and Shepard leaned back against the counter for stability, then slid down to the floor, empty.

“Terra! Did it happen again!?”

Kaidan was rushing in, just a towel round his waist and bare feet. With a start, she warded him off from getting too close. “The glass,” she warned, hoarsely.

Nate was calming a little, and Shepard reached up for him, feeling too boneless to stand. Kaidan skirted the glass and knelt in front of her, his brow creased deeply in worry, and passed their son to her. Cuddled close, Nate quickly settled again.

“I’m sorry sweetie,” she whispered to him, stroking his little head with fingers that refused to stop shaking. “Mommy didn’t mean to scare you.”

Kaidan ran his thumbs over her cheeks, wiping away tears she hadn’t realised had fallen, then bent forward to kiss her forehead. “Who was it this time?”

“Tali. I dropped the wine,” she added, inanely. She could see Kaidan’s anguish, as much as he tried to hide it, and she hated that her…problem…was hurting him.

A hollowness consumed her.

Her return to captaining Normandy again was supposed to be the start of everything getting back to normal.

Instead, she was losing control of her mind.

**-o-O-o-**


	4. Chapter 4

James checked his co-ordinates. They were closing in on the merc band but they needed to pick up the pace, as the night wouldn’t afford them cover for much longer. The constant winds continually blew the gritty ground upwards where it created a sound like rain against their armour.

He could see the lights of the colony in the distance. There weren’t many here on Ferris Fields. The Collectors had taken a large majority of the people who had lived here, and those that escaped hadn’t been keen to go back. It was only recently that colonists had chosen to try again, tempted back by the lure of the unmined resources still present that had attracted the first colonists here. It wasn’t right that these mercs thought they had the right to come and take the spoils of these peoples hard work.

Quietly assigning his orders, James waited for his team to fan out a little, then moved forward.

Hunkering down in undergrowth, James counted only ten men camped out in the clearing, the campfire lighting them up. What the hell did they think they were going to accomplish with so few? It seemed to him that whoever these mercs were, they were far from organised, yet from all accounts from those defending the colony from their attacks, these mercs were decent enough fighters to be giving the security teams trouble. None of it made much sense.

James tightened his grip on his rifle. His would be the first shot that would signal their counter-attack had begun. Launching up, he trained his weapon as he yelled out, announcing who he worked for and demanding they surrender. As expected, they all did the opposite, grabbing up weapons and spinning to engage him. Having given them the opportunity to come in alive, James fired his shotgun, taking out the closest merc, while his men supported him from cover.

Ducking another shot, James ran straight towards the culprit, smacked the gun from the gob-smacked merc, and slammed his rifle butt into the bridge of the man’s nose. The man crumpled to the ground, unconscious.

James looked for his next target…but it was over. The only merc still breathing was the one he’d knocked out, and James couldn’t believe it. Tension kept him on edge. It was too easy. He knew he and his men were good, but these mercs had supposedly been giving the security personnel a hard time for the last few days and nights…. It should have been harder to take them down.

“That was a serious anti-climax,” complained James’ lieutenant, Kedson, as the squad congregated around him.

“Guess those security guys these colonists hired are pretty naff,” retorted Corporal Lau. “’Cos these mercs were crap.”

“Where were the biotics?” James wondered out loud.

No one answered that. Intel had clearly stated there was a heavy biotic presence amongst the mercs, yet not one of these men had displayed any such talent. Kedson was swiftly checking the bodies for signs of an implant, and at the last merc he looked at James with a shake of his head.

James looked around him, warily. The dawn had arrived, washing out the dark and revealing their surroundings in muted tones. Unlike the colony itself, which stood like an oasis behind them, this untouched area was a stark contrast. It reminded him a little of those old western movies he’d seen: gravelly sand, boulders, and dried out bushes and trees, all the same dulled yellow. But there was nothing else to be seen, and the winds would have taken care of any tracks.

Returning to the unconscious man, James picked up a bottle of alcohol that these idiots had been consuming instead of water, and poured it over the merc’s face. Choking, the man came to, groaning from the pain of his broken nose.

James crouched down. “Who are you affiliated with? What was your purpose here?”

“Fuck yo- AHH!”

With a relentless hold on the merc’s nose, James moved his face closer. “Answer my questions, pendejo.”

“Okay, okay! Fuck!”

James released him and waited.

“We’re just freelancers,” said the merc, his broken nose hampering his speech like a bad cold. “We were paid a shitload of credits to come out here and be a visible presence to the colonists. I figured it was a psychological thing. You know, freak out the inhabitants so they’d leave. The fighting was done by the other guys.”

In response, James’ men went on high alert, scanning the immediate area for more trouble.

“Who paid you? And who were these other men?”

“It was all done anonymously; some guy was hanging around Omega’s alleys, recruiting. As for the others, I have no idea. More freelancers?” the man shrugged. “We never met them. They just passed by to cause trouble at the colony, then vanished until they were ready to do it again. They were good though. A lot of biotics in their group, too.”

They needed to search the area for these other mercs. James didn’t like this at all.

“Which direction did these others come from?”

The merc pointed south, and James swore to himself; their shuttle would have been noticed coming in from that direction. He and his men could have walked straight into an ambush, and James was still tensely expecting something. Only it didn’t come, and after securing the merc for detainment, James and his team headed that way.

Just a twenty minute hike and they found a second encampment. It was notably much bigger than the first, while also well-camouflaged and completely empty. The freshly disturbed soil indicated that it had only recently been abandoned, and with the last attack on the colonists being reported as little as three hours ago, they must have scarpered upon spotting the shuttle.

“What the heck’s going on, boss?” questioned Lau.

Uneasily, James started back towards the colony so he could give the colonists the all-clear. His answer was honest but unpalatable. “Haven’t got a goddamned clue.”

-o-O-o-

Kaidan paced restlessly inside Dr Valira T’Esana‘s office while the doctor was assessing Terra in the room opposite. It seemed the asari doctor didn’t believe in cluttering her office with personal items – or much of anything for that matter - leaving him with nothing to distract himself with. How much longer would it take? Christ, at this rate he was going to go-

He cut that thought off, appalled at himself.

“For goodness sake, Kaidan, sit down,” admonished Chakwas, who had ensured she was here, much to both his and Terra’s relief. “You’re exhausting me, just watching you.”

Halting, he sat beside Chakwas. “Sorry, Doc. It’s just…. You should have seen her last night. She looked so scared.”

Chakwas laid her hand over his, just as Dr T’Esana re-entered the office. Her skin tone was the deepest shade of blue Kaidan had ever seen on an asari, her facial markings only slightly lighter, and her serious face inferred she didn’t take time out to enjoy life that often. Kaidan was certain that wasn’t a good thing, especially in a race so long-lived as the asari, though it could explain her reputation as the best in her fields. Under the utmost confidentiality, the doctor had been made privy to everything concerning the Leviathans, thorian spores, and more.

“I’ve completed my initial assessment. It’s a perplexing case. Shepard’s not exhibiting any other indicators that could point to a simple diagnosis. I’ve ruled out the usual causes: PTSD, schizophrenia, psychosis.”

Chakwas squeezed his hand, but Kaidan still had yet to find any relief from the doctor’s words. ‘Perplexing’ meant unusual, and with it the possibility that Terra was suffering from something that couldn’t be fixed.

“The hallucinations appear to have started upon her return to what she deems as ‘full active service’,” continued T’Esana, “and so I have to consider whether _that’s_ the catalyst, and these visions are a product of an intense underlying anxiety.”

“But she’s been looking forward to getting back out there,” disputed Kaidan. “Being in command again and on the frontline is what she thrives on.”

“Or maybe that’s what she thinks she should be feeling, when in actual fact the past very extreme experiences she’s undergone - with the Reapers and the Leviathans, dying and being brought back to life, suffering tremendous injury, having a child abducted - has driven her to her breaking point.”

Kaidan shook his head, vehemently. This doctor didn’t know Terra like he did. “They were all tremendously hard to deal with, but Shepard’s a remarkable woman. She dealt with all of that and came out the other side. It’s behind her now. She’s facing the future, not looking back at the past.”

“Your belief in her is admirable,” carried on T’Esana, “but there’s a possibility that having this time off has given her a chance to reflect on things. Her life has calmed down since the Leviathans were defeated. She’s had time to re-assess and acclimatise to a less active regime, and maybe she’s too concerned she’ll be letting all of you down to accept it herself yet. The hallucinations may be a way of her sub-conscious forcing her to address that and what all that conflict has led to: the deaths of those she loves.”

“Poppy-cock,” blurted out Chakwas. “Sitting on the Citadel, retired, won’t stop bad things happening to loved ones – many of whom are also soldiers facing difficult fights – and Shepard knows it. That’s why she’s getting back out there, and she’d have done it sooner had the ship been ready. The Admiral’s not your average civilian patient, nor an average soldier.” Kaidan appreciated those assured, almost angry words from Chakwas.

The asari doctor put on an appeasing smile, apparently choosing not to try to argue it. “Well, I currently have Shepard connected to a special machine, so if and when a hallucination occurs I can map out her brain; get a real inside look at what’s going on, and what areas of the brain are being affected. That way I’ll be better able to ascertain the nature of what we’re dealing with here.” She paused, and Kaidan tensed at what might come next. “You both need to understand that if this can’t be attributed to anxiety, it leaves us in uncharted territory.”

“What does that mean?” worried Kaidan.

“The prothean beacons forced information into Shepard’s brain – a human brain that wasn’t designed for such a transfer. Add to that the huge cache of knowledge from the Cipher, the attempts by the Reapers to take her mind, and then the Leviathans succeeding where the Reapers hadn’t…. It would be amazing if her brain function _wasn’t_ damaged by all that. The hallucinations may just be the first step in her mind’s collapse.”

It was all conjecture for now, but that last supposition seemed the most plausible, and Kaidan felt everything drain from him.

-o-

Shepard sat on the edge of the bed, already irritated by the tiny electrical pads attached to various places across her forehead and scalp that were transmitting goodness knows what to the machine next to her. She stared at the screen data, feeling a little paranoid about it. Could it read her thoughts? “Get a grip, Terra,” she muttered to herself. “Or they really will think you’re crazy.”

The doctor had come out with some preposterous notion that she’d had enough of fighting and didn’t really want to return to it. The woman was clueless. She wasn’t someone who could sit back and not be out there helping to keep the monsters at bay. And there were always monsters – not the ones depicted in films or created by Reapers (not anymore) but the ones that looked like everyone else around them, with cold, dark places inside them that enabled them to commit atrocities for personal gain or gratification. And just maybe there was something else out there, just waiting for them to get cosy and complacent.

No, she needed to be out there where she could really have her fingers on the pulse of the galaxy, ready to act the moment there was an arrhythmia.

Jumping to her feet, she walked to the window to look out. How long was she supposed to stay here for? Until a hallucination, the doctor had said, but that could be who knew when. She hoped for never again.

Everything on the other side of the glass was business as usual, and suddenly Shepard was gripped with an illogical fear that she’d once more be kept from it all as she had been back on Earth, shut away for months on end, only this time it would be worse, because she’d miss her babies growing up. “Stop being ridiculous,” she told herself. “And stop talking to yourself,” she added wryly.

Someone touched her shoulder and Shepard turned, expecting to see the doctor or a nurse coming to check on her.

Physically jerking back to collide with the window, her heart was racing at the sight of the salarian standing there.

 _No! It’s not him!_ Except it was, and she couldn’t deny it. Mordin. “You can’t be here,” she whispered.

“But have to be here. Someone else might get it wrong.” Then he started to quietly sing as he busied himself around the room.

Tears trickled down her face as she finally admitted her mind was going, and she closed her eyes, her hands covering her ears in an attempt to drown out the gentle singing that hurt to hear.

When it stopped, she was almost too frightened to look. But she had to.

The room was empty. Mordin was gone – back to the recesses of her mind where he should have stayed. Trembling fingers tugged off the pads. The doctor had her readings. Dumping the pads on the bed, Shepard gave one more look at the machine data. It didn’t look any different, but somewhere in all that it would tell the doctor she was…. How did Edi put it? Malfunctioning. Shepard decided it was better to malfunction. It inferred that it was easily fixable – a shorted wire to be replaced. But what could you do with an organic mind? Therapy and medication, the doctor had mentioned, but it was guaranteed to be a long process. God, how she hated hospitals.

She needed to get out of here. Turning to leave, Shepard was stunned to be faced with a husk. Reacting on instinct, she shoved it away from her, staggering it back towards the door. In a split second she’d removed her gun and aimed, barely registering that the husk was already beginning to fade out and the door was opening, as her finger tightened on the trigger.

o

After Traynor’s call alerted Kaidan to Nate’s distress, he rushed out of the doctor’s office with Chakwas and Dr T’Esana, and across the corridor. The doors to Terra’s room opened and Kaidan saw the gun at the same time as it fired off to his right. He only just got his barrier up in time to prevent the shot from hitting Dr T’Esana, who stumbled back with a gasp, her hands up.

His heart racing in shock, Kaidan saw Terra’s horror at what had nearly transpired. In fact, she appeared frozen with it, her gun still pointed. What had she seen to cause this extreme reaction? “Terra, it’s okay. Whatever it was, it’s gone.” Dropping his barrier, he walked slowly forward, one hand outstretched, and when she finally turned her chocolate eyes on him he saw the despair and pleading in them. He couldn’t help her, and a huge piece of Kaidan was crushed with that unforgiving fact.

Gently taking the gun from her hands was like removing the one thing holding her together, and he grabbed her to him as she sagged. Her hands clutched at his back desperately, her breath ragged in his ear.

He kept his voice low and soothing. “What happened?” Kaidan held her shuddering form, wishing with all his heart there was something he could do to protect her from the unreal.

“First it was Mordin. He even sang.” Her voice sounded so incredibly weak it pained him to hear it from his beautiful warrior. “Then a husk. It was right there.” She pointed where the asari doctor was standing rigidly in the entrance.

Kaidan saw Chakwas’ look of sadness, and tightened his embrace, however futile it was.

“Do you still see them?” asked Dr T’Esana, crisply, straightening her uniform.

“No. It disappeared just before you came in. I’m so sorry, Doctor. I didn’t mean….” The words trailed away, and Terra shook her head with a deflated sigh, knowing there was nothing more she could say to the doctor she’d nearly shot which could be adequate enough. Then Kaidan watched her gather herself in such a way only she could pull off, fighting to deny the hold her fear had claimed on her. She was pulling away from him, her body tensing as she stood strong. “The machine got readings.”

T’Esana finally entered the room and began surveying the data, Chakwas joining her, and Kaidan felt like his wife’s whole future depended on those streams of information. What would they tell?

“But…nothing’s different,” frowned T’Esana. She looked suspiciously over at Terra. “When did you take them off?”

“ _After_ I saw Mordin,” Terra answered, firmly. Her face said she didn’t appreciate the implication.

T’Esana stared at Terra for a few seconds longer, her eyes briefly flicking to Kaidan then Chakwas, before returning to the data. “That’s…troubling.”

Kaidan didn’t like the sound of that, and neither did Chakwas, judging by the way she pressed her lips together. It was looking like the Reapers and Leviathans had inflicted one last wound after all.

“What would you suggest now?” Chakwas asked, softly.

“It’s a unique case so, for now, we start with therapy and medication and assess how it goes.” The asari spoke confidently, however, Kaidan had noticed the slight shrug of T’Esana’s right shoulder as she’d said it. That involuntary movement told him this doctor, with all her renowned expertise, really didn’t know, and it terrified him. “I’d also need to implement frequent monitoring, naturally.”

“Kaidan, I need to leave,” Terra whispered, drawing his attention back to her. Then she actually jumped when her omnitool chimed an incoming call. “It’s Wrex,” she smiled, and it was a relief she had the krogan to take her mind off…her mind.

“Wrex,” she answered, with that usual deliberate seriousness they always greeted each other with, though Kaidan could see how deep she’d needed to dig to do so.

“ _Shepard_.” Though it was his usual response, the krogan leader’s tone instantly told Kaidan something was wrong. “ _We’ve got a problem_.”

Not what she needed right now. Or…maybe just what she needed; the Admiral was before him now, focused and beautiful. But with a look towards the severe face of Dr T’Esana, Kaidan worried just how much longer Terra would be allowed to keep the one thing she was relying on to get her through this.

**-o-O-o-**


	5. Chapter 5

Shortly after Shepard had received a call from Wrex to state he’d been called in front of the Council and had just arrived on the Citadel, she and Kaidan had also been summoned. Ignoring the asari doctor’s protest that she should stay, Shepard left. She couldn’t get out of the hospital fast enough; an illogical fear telling her that if she lingered the walls would close in and she’d never escape.

Stepping out onto the main walkway was a relief, but her intent stride didn’t falter as she headed for the cabs. Kaidan was steadfastly at her side, and she’d never appreciated him more. If not for him, she’d have likely killed an innocent today…. It hung over her accusingly in the back of her mind, accompanied with an image of herself in a straitjacket inside a padded cell, initiating a tremor within her. Kaidan had yet to say a word about it, but there was a subtle crease in his forehead as he sat beside her in the sky-car she then aimed towards the Presidium.

Kaidan rested his hand comfortingly on her thigh, but they travelled in silence, and Shepard was thankful for it. She just wasn’t ready to deal with her unforgiveable and horrendous loss of control.

When she set the cab down at their destination, Kaidan’s omnitool alerted him to a new message, and he frowned as he read it.

“From Vega. … Odd. It seems parts of the colony attacks were staged. There were more men on the ground than our colonists believed, in a separate location, but they appear to have bugged out before James discovered them. James has just liaised with the team sent by Coats, and they’re saying the same thing. This could have easily turned into a trap. Vega hasn’t had a response from any of my biotic squads yet, though. I need to check in on them; make sure they’re okay.”

Reading his worry, Shepard nodded her understanding that he didn’t want to wait until after the meeting. “I can fill you in after,” she assured, but Kaidan hesitated, and she looked at him, questioningly.

“Will you be alright?”

Shepard fought back the dismay. He had to be concerned she would hurt someone. Maybe he was right to be. Her ingrained instinct to react to a threat could well make her a liability to those around her…. _No_. One thing she did know for certain: she wouldn’t allow it to happen again. This constant tremble that had taken root in her centre, would serve as a reminder.

Kaidan’s hand caressed her leg soothingly. “You know what? I’m sorry. Forget I said anything. I know you’ll be fine. I’ll admit what happened earlier came as a shock, but I know you’ll get a handle on it. You _will_ ,” he emphasised, and though it was said in support, Shepard couldn’t help but wonder if her husband was also trying to convince himself. She just gave him as much of a smile as she could muster and turned to exit.

Outside the vehicle, Kaidan reached into his thigh pocket where he’d slipped her gun earlier, and handed it back to her. That act alone told her how ridiculous she was to doubt his faith in her, and the look he gave her sealed it.

With a parting kiss, Kaidan settled himself in a quiet area to make his calls, while Shepard headed up to the Council Chambers. She gazed out at the Citadel as the elevator lifted her skywards. Everything was so perfect out there. But in here…. Maybe this was the galaxy’s way of telling her she wasn’t needed any longer….

Shutting down that pitiful line of thought, Shepard focused on what she was heading into. It was worrying that Wrex had been called here. With Bakara on the Citadel as the krogan ambassador, Wrex’s presence shouldn’t have been required.

When the elevator opened, Shepard hauled the ‘Admiral’ out again, but it was beginning to feel like a wayward shawl that kept slipping off, and she was having difficulty pulling it back round her again. Only imagining a rod of steel through her spine got her through the halls and up the steps.

The session had already begun - the four councillors standing prominently above them all. Wrex was at the end of the platform, the picture of pent-up restless hostility compared to Bakara’s patient, still form beside him. They both heard Shepard’s approach and parted so she came to a stand-still between them.

“I send an apology on behalf of General Alenko, Councillors. He’s been delayed with an Alliance matter.”

“Not to worry, Admiral,” smiled the human councillor, Osoba. “We understand his divided commitments.”

Though Sparatus merely gave a begrudging nod of concession, Valern crossed his arms in silent dispute, and Tevos straightened even further, her hands clasped behind her. It seemed the Council weren’t so in-tune, and Shepard liked that Osoba was ruffling their proverbial feathers.

“What’s going on?” she prompted.

“These idiots believe we’ve been attacking salarians,” snapped Wrex, before Tevos could speak.

“Wrex. Restrain yourself,” advised Bakara. “I am sure the Council have reason for their suspicions.”

Valern touched the small terminal in front of him and a screen appeared. The images displayed were those taken by recovery teams from an uncomfortable number of locations. The savagely mutilated salarian bodies were difficult to look at, and Shepard had to admit that given the strength required for many of the wounds inflicted, it was likely that krogan were involved.

“Any troubles your end?” she asked Wrex.

Wrex shrugged, nonchalantly. “A handful left to join the wretched Blood Pack – the stupid ones, so no real loss there - but other than that, no.” Out of a clan the size of Urdnot, three was nothing.

“Most can see that Tuchanka’s thriving, along with our people,” agreed Bakara. “We have something resembling a city emerging all around us for the first time in centuries.”

“Too peaceful?” pondered Sparatus. “The krogan like to fight.” Sadly, it was a stereotype that still applied to the majority. It was just their way. Strength proved worth on Tuchanka.

“Which is why we created the arenas,” barked back Wrex, old habits keeping him on the offensive.

“It has become a central part of our new society,” added Bakara. “Each clan has one. Fighters strive to get to the top of the ranks within their clans.”

“And with it gain prestige for themselves, and first breeding rights with the females. Ensures strong offspring, too.”

Shepard knew Wrex was heading Urdnot’s leader board, maintaining his right to lead his clan, as well as proving to the other clan leaders he was still a krogan to be reckoned with.

“It’s not working,” Valern stated, surprising Shepard with his harsh tone. “We were led to believe you have control of your people.”

Blood-red eyes bored into the salarian councillor. “I do. My clan would not act without my say so, and the other clans would go against that at their peril.”

“So you are stating that your clan and those associated with you would not act without your authority?” verified Tevos, and Shepard instantly tensed as she saw what direction this was going.

“You can’t think Wrex had anything to do with these attacks,” she challenged.

Wrex scowled at them all. “I didn’t. Whoever did this, it wasn’t Urdnot.”

“A survivor says otherwise,” argued Valern, playing footage of a hospitalised salarian with a horrendous facial injury. When the poor soul mentioned Urdnot by name, Shepard knew things were going to get worse for her friend.

“He’s lying,” gritted out Wrex, taking an aggressive step forward that had Shepard flinging out her arm across his chest.

“He’s a respected scientist, with no grudge against the krogan race,” insisted Valern, heatedly. “I doubt the opposite could be said.”

Shepard watched Tevos give the salarian councillor a warning look before facing them again. “We believe it is an accurate account.”

“Like hell it is!” yelled Wrex, even the asari’s softly delivered statement failing to sound reasonable to the krogan leader.

Shepard glanced at Bakara who was absorbing everything with a deceptive calm that hid the stiffness she could see in the ambassador’s frame. Shepard understood completely, and she addressed the Council with that same anger simmering beneath her skin. “I’m surprised that testimony from one traumatised scientist should be enough to prove Urdnot were responsible for this. There was a time it required a lot more for you to take action.” That dig dealt, she carried on before they could respond, though she noted that Sparatus at least looked ill at ease. “You know as well as I do that as the ruling clan, Urdnot is a well-known name across the galaxy. That this poor doctor would mention it in his delirious state, isn’t remarkable. I know Wrex. He wouldn’t risk everything the krogan have gained over the years for what amounts to a distinctly unimpressive and insubstantial attack on the salarian race.”

“Damn straight,” Wrex growled, fixed on Valern. “If I wanted you all dead, I’d take every krogan I have and dump them all right on top of Sur’Kesh. Wipe you all out where you’re larger in number,” he said darkly. “Make a day of it.”

Terra sighed in harmony with Bakara at that unhelpful proclamation.

Unsurprisingly, Valern glared back at him. “Then perhaps you can enlighten us to the coincidence that the attacks have ceased since you left Tuchanka.”

Wrex swung to look at Shepard and she held his gaze, an unspoken comprehension flitting between them. He was being set up.

“Urdnot Wrex,” announced Tevos, and Shepard held her breath as she looked back at the asari councillor. “In the light of recent attacks against a Council race, and the evidence that currently suggests your involvement, we order you be detained here pending a full investigation into your role in the crimes committed against the salarian people.”

“What!?”

“Ambassador Bakara,” continued Valern. “We would advise you go back to Tuchanka and do whatever you can to ensure there are no further attacks, or we will have no alternative but to deal with the krogan _in force_.”

“You can’t keep me here,” snarled Wrex.

“Wrex.” Bakara’s solemn voice stole their attention. “You must stay.”

“Like hell.” Wrex’s hands fisted, ready for a fight, and Shepard realised Bakara was right. Valern was incensed by these events, and he had a lot of sway here. The salarians were twitchy right now, and that was evident in the way the Council were responding. They had to tread carefully, and she had an inkling that if Wrex wasn’t reasoned with, he’d play right into the hands of the real aggressors.

She turned her back on the Council in order to face Wrex dead on, her hands on his arms, and her voice low. “Wrex. Whoever’s behind this wants a war. They’re expecting you to start something – here, today - to fight your way through anyone the Council puts in your way, and it will give them what they want. A clash like that will be on the extranet in no time. When they see it, it will give the rest of Urdnot and the other clans a signal to return to battle.”

Wrex looked at Bakara, who nodded slowly before speaking. “We cannot let this escalate to war, Wrex. Tuchanka’s children will not survive the collective force of the Council races. It will undo everything we’ve achieved.”

Wrex considered the female krogan’s words, then regarded Shepard. “You’re the right hand of the Council, and an Alliance admiral. You’d be part of that ‘force’. What would you do if the order came to take up arms against us?”

His words stunned Shepard as she realised the reality of the situation she’d be in if it came to that. But the answer wasn’t hard. “Refuse. With or without the Alliance and the Council, I’d find the true perpetrators, and I wouldn’t stop until the Council saw sense.” She prayed it wouldn’t go that far. The lives lost in the meantime would be unquestionably unacceptable.

Wrex appraised her with a relief she’d never thought she’d see in the hardy krogan, and those large hands rose up to rest on her shoulders. “I trust you, Shepard.” With those simple words, the familiar weight of a race descended on her once more, and she briefly wondered whether the union of ‘the Citadel races’ was really just a thin veneer, making all of their alliances as fragile as the one between the krogan and salarians - vulnerable to the next ill-intention that could cut through the thin layer holding them together. She refused to let some vengeance-fuelled krogan drag Wrex and the rest of their race down a new path towards extinction.

Once Wrex released her, Shepard turned back to the Council. She wasn’t about to let them have it all their way, and she spoke as though she had the right to make demands. “I understand your position,” she declared, “but you know the proof you offered against Wrex is weak at best. You have no real grounds to detain him, _however_ , he will acquiesce to remain on the Citadel for the time being - unrestrained but under watch, to allay your fears.”

While the three seasoned councillors looked at each other, Osoba took his opportunity to speak. “That’s a reasonable compromise, Admiral.” She was sure she saw a slight smile pull at the corners of his mouth, but it was gone by the time his fellow councillors stared back at him in annoyance that he’d voiced a decision without their agreement.

“Indeed,” submitted Sparatus, “though any communication off the Citadel will not be permitted.”

“Neither should that guard be solely C-Sec,” added Valern, unimpressed by the negotiation. “Urdnot Wrex’s association with our Executor is a cause for concern. We have STG agents on the Citadel,” Valern continued, gesturing to a nearby balcony where two salarians were watching the proceedings, and Shepard suppressed the grin when she recognised them both. “I will request their presence to oversee that Urdnot Wrex is guarded properly.”

“Given the circumstances, do you really think _salarian_ guards would be appropriate?” pressed Bakara, unhappily, as Wrex shook his head in disgust.

“It will be alright, Ambassador,” intervened Shepard, silently asking the ambassador to trust her. “STG are a fine group of soldiers, who I’m sure will remain professional.”

Both krogan looked at her for a few more seconds before conceding to her judgement.

“Then it’s agreed,” said Tevos, relief colouring her voice.

“In the meantime, Admiral, I assume you will be ascertaining the true origin of these attacks,” voiced Osoba, and it told Shepard he believed she was right, much to Valern’s annoyance.

“I will.” Shepard redirected her attention to Valern. “In the meantime, I urge the salarian people to hold back on their response. Your loss is intolerable, and I extend my deepest sympathies, but you don’t have the full picture, and I truly believe you’re looking in the wrong direction.”

Valern lowered his gaze, looking deep in thought, but he said nothing. Instead, Sparatus spoke.

“Then good luck, Admiral.”

With that dismissal, Shepard turned to Wrex and Bakara as the salarians tasked with Wrex’s guard duty sauntered up.

“You remember Gardew and Cael, Wrex.” Shepard’s smile was broad as she welcomed them. “They were on Parnack with you.”

Wrex shrugged indifferently. “All salarians look the same.”

“Well met, Shepard,” greeted Gardew.

“Well met, indeed,” followed Cael. “And a pleasure to see you too, Urdnot Wrex.”

“Whatever. Just stay out of my face, or I’ll show your councillor what Urdnot would really do.”

“Make an effort to dispel the opinion you’re out for their blood, Wrex,” sighed Bakara. “I will need to get ready to leave for Tuchanka.” She enclosed Shepard’s hand in hers. “Thank you, Shepard. Whatever happens, I know you will do all you can to stop this sabotage of the peace we have worked so hard for.”

As Bakara walked away, Shepard addressed the salarians. “So what are you doing on the Citadel?”

“We came from one of our smallest colonies,” answered Cael.

“Terrible business. Such unimaginable barbarity.” Gardew shook his head at the memory.

“We were surprised when they reported a survivor elsewhere.”

“From what we saw, they were very thorough,” grimaced Gardew.

“There _had_ to be a survivor,” said Shepard. “They would need someone to drop Urdnot’s name and be believed.”

“I’m thinking it’s another salarian ploy,” snarled Wrex. “We already know they’ll go to great lengths to find an excuse to finish us.”

Gardew and Cael looked at each other.

“Sadly, we can’t dispute that,” admitted Gardew.

“Our history speaks for itself,” sighed Cael.

Wrex groaned. “I think I remember you two now.” He speared Shepard with an accusing look she ignored. Shepard knew they liked to talk, but she liked the inseparable salarian duo, and they’d proven themselves when they’d stood up against their own Dalatrass, and later fought alongside them on Parnack. Gardew’s torso doubtless bore an impressive scar as a reminder of that first disastrous incursion on the yahg home-world.

“But, we must add that there _were_ signs of a krogan presence on the colony we visited,” imparted Cael, carefully.

“Says you.”

“Wrex,” admonished Shepard. “These two have earned more than your distrust. And we both know those attacks were krogan work.”

“Fine,” Wrex relented, crossing his arms.

“So, the question you need to ask is: who would benefit by getting rid of _you_?”

Wrex turned inward as he gave it thought.

“Admiral Shepard.”

She spun at Tevos’ voice to see the asari councillor had returned, a strange look on her face.

“The other councillors and I would appreciate your presence in the conference room. Alone, if you would.”

A new foreboding creeping over her, Shepard gave a single nod.

“I’ll head to the Embassy,” said Wrex. “Find me there when you’re done.” With that, he stalked off, Gardew and Cael trailing behind and the waiting C-Sec officers falling into pace as they passed.

Re-imagining that steel spine, Shepard followed Tevos into the conference room, certain she already knew what it was about, and fearing what was to come.

-O-

Kaidan finished reading the report from one of his squad leaders, Commander Mila Hammond. All his squads had checked in now, and it created a puzzling picture. Every scene had been the same as James had reported, and it made little sense. Vega was right: there was more here than they were seeing, but with nothing else to go on, he wasn’t sure what they could do to get those answers. For now, all the squads would maintain a presence within the colonies for a while longer, to reassure the colonists.

When Chakwas’ call came, her obvious stress made Kaidan stand up from the bench he’d parked himself on, because Chakwas was rarely unsettled by anything and that meant it was bad.

“ _Kaidan! I tried to reason with Dr T’Esana – to get her to wait to see how Shepard managed under medication - but that stubborn woman wouldn’t listen!_ ” railed Chakwas. “ _She’s sent a report to the Council, raising her concerns over Shepard’s mental condition!_ ”

It was all Kaidan needed to hear before he was running inside the Council Tower, nearly colliding with Wrex who strangely seemed to have an entourage. “Where’s Shepard!?”

“Private session with the Council.”

He left Wrex behind, swearing as the elevator crawled up the side of the Tower. When Kaidan was finally released into the Chambers, he raced through the halls towards the room he’d stood in too many times during the leviathans return. The C-Sec officers on duty didn’t attempt to stop him as he barged into the room.

Terra was standing alone, facing the councillors on the opposite side of the table, her posture so rigid it looked painful. When she looked at him, her complexion was pallid.

“General, I’m glad you’re here.” Osoba wasn’t happy, and it was aimed at his colleagues. “I implore you all not to rush into this. We _need_ Shepard. The krogan respect her, and that makes her our best chance of retaining peace.”

But Kaidan could see the decision was set amongst the other councillors, though Sparatus at least had a trace of apology on his face. Kaidan could only give Terra his solid presence which she once again, imperceptibly, leaned into.

Tevos was focused on Terra, determined to finish what she was about to say. “I am sorry, Shepard, but in light of the medical report we have received from the highly-esteemed Dr T’Esana, and the worrying incident she has noted that occurred within the hospital… we have no choice,” reasoned Tevos, and Osoba walked out with an angry shake of his head. It didn’t deter the asari. “Pending review after you have received the therapy and medical intervention the doctor recommends, we revoke your Spectre status with immediate effect.”

Nauseous, Kaidan knew he was witnessing Terra’s career cruelly disintegrating. The Council would pass this report on to the Alliance….

This was only the beginning.

**-o-O-o-**


	6. Chapter 6

Still stunned, Hackett stormed into his office on Arcturus and tried to call Terra. He’d just come from a meeting with the Committee, who had advised him that his daughter was to be taken off active duty due to ‘mental instability’.

They’d tried to make out it was for her own welfare, but he knew the truth: their only concern was that the breakdown of their ‘poster’ soldier might leave the Alliance looking weak to their allies. It was already all over the extranet – the newscasters dream, and they delivered it with gusto, like their subject was an object with no feelings, because to them she’d long been public property.

Hackett had argued the Committee’s decision - told them there was no evidence to suggest that Terra couldn’t still function whilst being monitored - but these were people who were desperate to maintain their cosy position next to the Council races, and they followed their lead. Terra deserved better, and Hackett was angry as hell that once again politics ruled their actions. It seemed it didn’t matter how much they all owed Terra, or how much of an asset she was, the powers-that-be were quick to over-look it all to save face and appear cohesive.

Unable to even get a connection to Terra, Hackett slammed this fist down onto the surface of his desk. This had completely blind-sided his daughter, and it was so unfair. Was this the price she was paying for saving them all? A hidden effect from the intrusion of prothean beacons, Reapers, and Leviathans, just waiting for her to believe she’d come through it all only to strike when she was least expecting it, and in a way she couldn’t defend herself from.

And what did she get from her superiors? A pat on the head and a gesture to go deal with it somewhere quiet. It was times like this that Hackett understood why the notion of Cerberus had become appealing to so many – no bureaucratic and political bullshit.

He called Kaidan, and it rang for a short while before it was answered, and Hackett imagined Kaidan had needed to find a discreet place to take it.

“ _Steven_.”

“I’ve just been given the news about Terra.”

“ _I’m sorry I didn’t call you. Things kind of escalated quickly. The doctor we went to didn’t bother to give us any warning she intended to take it to the Council. Chakwas is livid about it_.” His son-in-law’s voice radiated that same anger.

“How is she, Kaidan?”

A heavy sigh came first. “ _She’s buried it behind so many walls I honestly can’t tell. Right now, she’s talking with Wrex over this situation brewing with the salarians. It’s like nothing’s happened. Damn it, Steven, they even took away her gun. I’ve never seen her look so hurt as when they relieved her of her weapon for ‘public safety’.”_

As Kaidan said the words, Hackett felt some of that pain, and an old instinct reared its head from before his daughter had ceased to be a child and didn’t need his protection any more. If what the doctor’s medical report was true – and there was still some part of him that refused to believe it – then Terra was truly as vulnerable as she was then. The thought of her breaking apart from within was truly devastating. Had he missed something? Were there signs he’d failed to notice?

As wonderful as the galaxy was as it opened up further around them, the wider the area became to watch over. Its inevitable problems demanded more of their time, and kept them too busy and too far apart to enable them to just be together in a single place for any reasonable amount of time.

One such problem was currently awaiting his attention - the datapad abandoned on his desk stared blankly back at him, its contents silently demanding to be read so he could begin to attempt to piece together what the hell was going on with the strange colony attacks.

“ _Alliance Command are taking her off-duty too, aren’t they?_ ” Kaidan’s solemn voice emphasised just how much this would add to Terra’s pain.

Hackett’s jaw clenched. “Yes, they are. She’ll get the call soon. They’re calling it an ‘extended shore-leave’, but it’s really a temporary suspension. They stressed she’ll be retaining her full rank - she just won’t be returned to active status until she’s been declared medically fit.” He knew that distinction wouldn’t mean a damn to his daughter; what use was there in being called ‘Admiral’ when you had no ship? And they all knew someone else would be assigned to captain Normandy. The anger and worry surged forth again. “Sooner or later Terra will break, Kaidan. I can’t influence the Council, but you have any time off you need from us. Do your best to be there for her when she falls.”

“ _I will._ ”

Saying his goodbye, Hackett knew he would have to wait for Terra to feel able to talk to him, and he hoped it wouldn’t take too long for her to reach out to him. With the stark reality that there was nothing he could do to help his daughter, he could only bury himself in his work.

o

Shepard paced Bakara’s office - the only room designated to the krogan within the embassies – though the ambassador herself was already departing for Tuchanka. Wrex’s C-Sec ‘detail’ had been exiled to the far end of the room where they stood uncomfortably, while she and Wrex divided their time restlessly between sitting on and pacing round Bakara’s desk. Cael and Gardew had decided to stand out of the way on the balcony, just a few steps away.

Kaidan was talking on the other side of the glass partition that separated them from the corridor, where he’d swiftly gone when he’d seen the caller. It would be her father.

Her fingers whispered over her wrist where she’d switched it off. She didn’t want the call from Alliance Command that would have them repeat what she’d just been through with the Council. Shepard knew how it worked, under no illusion that she’d be treated any differently, and she just wanted to be Admiral Shepard for a little while longer before they pulled that out from under her too. But cutting herself off from them meant distancing her dad, and she hated that.

“Jorgal Thurak.”

Shepard swung back to look at Wrex, shutting down every thought that didn’t relate to Wrex.

“Leader of clan Jorgal - Urdnot’s largest rivals,” he explained, as Kaidan re-entered. “And they’re traditionalists, which meant they weren’t happy about the changes we made. They believe we’re making too many concessions to the Council, and I’d agree,” growled Wrex, “except that Thurak thinks we should be _taking_ what we deserve – which in his eyes would be anything salarian, for starters. The turians would be next on his hit-list.”

“Very short-sighted,” said Shepard. “He’d just be starting another krogan rebellion.”

“And yet here we are,” commented Kaidan. “Possibly on the cusp of just that.”

Wrex took his turn to pace. “Without me leading them, it leaves the way for another contender to take control of Urdnot, but Grunt is the biggest challenger, and he’s got the sense to listen to reason. Bakara will see to that. The other clans still respect Urdnot. They wouldn’t go against our orders to maintain peace. We’re the only reason the krogan have what we do. Maybe Thurak’s hoping he can come in and take over, but he’s got a pyjak’s brain if he thinks Urdnot would submit to a Jorgal.” He shook his great head. “I don’t understand it, Shepard.”

“We will. We’ve just got to find the pieces and put them together. We need to be smart.”

“Without _you_ out there? What the hell are the Council thinking? There’s nothing wrong with you, little sister. Want me to go visit this doctor? Get her to _re-think_?” he grinned, wolfishly.

 _Yes. Go for it. Knock yourself out. Or her_. Shepard didn’t say it. Instead, she gave Wrex her best wry smile. “I don’t think bullying an asari doctor will help convince the Council you’re not out to make trouble.”

He grumbled at that. “There was a time when I liked trouble. Since meeting you, trouble now means big galaxy-shaking events that are easier not to court.” Wrex went to the balcony, Gardew and Cael scattered to either side of him as Wrex apparently pretended they weren’t visible, and looked out. “I worry what it all means, Shepard. I can’t let the krogan fall now. I’ve had a taste of what it really means to be a krogan, and it isn’t all this mindless fighting bull the likes of the Jorgals want. We’re strong enough to be more than that. We just need to find a purpose – a cause - so we warrant titles better than ‘brawlers’. If you’re the sentinels to this galaxy, then we could be your army; ready to fight only the worthiest foes who seek to take it all away. _Defenders_.”

“That’s…oddly poetic, Wrex,” commented Kaidan.

“Then you will be just that,” said Shepard, the side of her fist thumping Wrex’s chest. “No one has more strength of will than you to make things happen.”

“I’m stuck here,” he said, bluntly, his shoulders alarmingly starting to sag.

“Temporary setback,” she threw back, this time clapping her hands to his upper arms like she was buoying them up.

His blood-red eyes locked on hers and he stood firmer. “Just like yours,” Wrex uttered, with a certain nod of his head.

God, Shepard hoped so. She returned the conversation back to the issue at hand. “Until then, the Council have reassigned another Spectre to look into the salarian attacks.”

“Wait…” frowned Wrex, as he analysed her words. “Not Alenko?”

“No,” sighed Kaidan. “Valern wanted to have someone ‘unbiased by existing friendships’, so the files have been forwarded on.”

“Which doesn’t mean we can’t do our own investigating,” added Shepard, before Wrex could begin his rant about his people likely being in the hands of potentially biased salarians and turians. “Kaidan’s still a Spectre.”

“Right,” he nodded. “And they omitted to state I _wasn’t_ to get involved….”

Wrex grinned at that. “And you can take Normandy. Bring your female along,” he smirked.

“Something like that,” nodded Kaidan, and Shepard knew his quick glance at her had nothing to do with the krogan’s terminology they were both so used to by now, but rather questioning whether it would be wise for her to go racing off before she’d addressed what was going on in her head. Kaidan, of course, didn’t voice that to Wrex. “Might need to handle it a little more diplomatically – go through proper channels – but it’s unlikely anyone in the Alliance is going to question me over a ship requisition request, or check with the Council.”

“But first of all, we need intelligence,” said Shepard. “So, as Kaidan and I haven’t seen Nate all day, I’ll leave you to see what our favourite broker can dig up, while we go relieve Traynor from babysitting duty. We can meet in the morning to see what we’ve got, and go from there.”

With an assured nod, Wrex was already lighting up his omnitool.

One of the turian C-Sec officers stepped forward with his hand up to stop Wrex. “Sorry, but unless that’s internal _and_ we’re made aware of who you intend to call, we can’t allow you to do that. Our orders came direct from the Council: Urdnot Wrex is not allowed to communicate outside the Citadel, nor with any other krogan.”

“Then I’ll do it,” stated Kaidan, with a hardened stare at the officer who took a step back in response.

“No need, General,” spoke up Cael. “You should go and enjoy your family.”

“Yes, no need. _We_ can call your broker,” said Gardew. “All Urdnot Wrex need do is give us the address.”

“We can put it on speaker, and he can relay everything through us.” Cael looked at the frowning C-Sec officer with an overly-pleased grin.

“Loophole,” the two salarians said in time with each other.

With a barely-suppressed laugh, Shepard left the office and an impressed Wrex, with Kaidan reassuringly at her side as she walked away from her only avenue of distraction.

The air was heavy between them. He’d tried to talk to her when they’d left the Council Chamber, but she had only been able to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other then. Shepard didn’t want to shut him out, though. She’d done it before, and it wasn’t fair; they were partners and if things were reversed she’d want him to share it all with her. And so she would. Once she was back within the comfort and safety that was her home, with their son held close and loved, she would begin to address the maelstrom of emotion that she was struggling to contain.

o-O-o-

Sparatus leaned back in his seat, studying the turian in front of him intently. Detective Riker Tavitus had already made a name for himself on Palaven, quickly rising through the ranks, despite his relatively young age. Having the resolute young turian join C-Sec was an unexpected boon; Sparatus just hadn’t counted on him setting his sights on the very people he was supposed to be working with.

“You’re sure about this?”

“Yes, Sir. This tip-off is good. I’ve checked the inventories of the seized drugs, and the credit balances against those detailed on the reports at the time of the busts. There are discrepancies. They started small, but quickly got bigger. Drugs have been siphoned off in amounts that would have to be for more than personal use, and large values of those seized credits have been wired to accounts with fake names. All I need is your authorisation to access who set up those accounts and I’ll be able to confirm exactly who misappropriated the funds there.”

Sparatus was torn. His gut said it couldn’t be true, but his head said to listen to the evidence, and Tavitus was asking for the means to provide it. Still, it made him extremely uncomfortable, especially given recent events. “You realise who you’re accusing here?”

“I understand, Sir, but if I’m right, then he, or they, need to be held to account.”

He didn’t like it, but felt he had no choice. Signing the datapad that authorised the detective’s request, Sparatus handed it back to Tavitus, hoping he hadn’t made a big mistake.

-o-O-o-

When Shepard had walked through the door to their apartment, she and Kaidan were regaled with Traynor’s tales of what she and Nate had been up to, before the Comm Specialist breezed ecstatically out with the gift voucher that Shepard presented her with in thanks, which promised a luxury pampering session at the most prestigious spa on the Citadel. Unsurprisingly, Traynor was headed straight there.

Almost as soon as the door had closed, the apartment’s comm line was flashing in notification of an awaiting vid-call.

“I’ll handle it,” said Kaidan as she sighed, but she placed her hand on his chest to stop him.

“It’s okay. I’ll take it.” Shepard knew as well as Kaidan that this was likely Alliance Command or a concerned friend who had caught the ‘breaking news’ on the newsvids Kaidan had been trying to steer her away from on the journey back here. “I can’t hide forever.” With a longing look at Nate, who was sat happily playing on the floor, so intent on his toy he hadn’t even noticed them, she passed by him to take it in the rear lounge.

Answering the call, she sensed Kaidan’s presence as he stood to the side out of view of the screen, where he could watch over Nate on the other side of the divider at her back but still be there for her. It bolstered her as she stood at attention.

As soon as the men and women appeared on the screen in their pristine uniforms, Shepard gave the required salute before standing at attention. She had a loud, rushing sound in her ears from the sound of her heart beating, just like it had done when she’d stood in front of the Council. Somewhere amongst the noise, her sub-conscious was registering their words as they began saying just what she’d expected, but she couldn’t focus on anything but the soft sounds of Nate as he investigated his toy. She was so tense her muscles ached from her shoulders and down her back, yet she stared straight ahead at the people who were voicing her fate, and waited until they were staring back at her, waiting for some kind of response. Forcing out a polite, “I understand. Thank you,” – the only words she had uttered during the whole meeting - Kaidan swiftly broke the connection. Apparently it was over.

Releasing her stance provided no relief from the tension running through her, but she managed to move to where she could see Nate. She hadn’t lost her admiralty, but she had lost her crew, and her ship. What use was she without those? All she had now was her family and she felt an illogical desperation to keep them close before they were all torn from her clutches, too.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” murmured Kaidan, and she sank into him when he offered her his embrace. “We’ll get through this. Together. This isn’t the end, and you mustn’t give up. You can still fight this, just…not in your conventional way.”

Shepard let those husky words soak in, and she imagined them as soldiers setting themselves up within her brain, ready to act on her word. Hope. Yes, the hallucinations could be indicative of damage caused by all those alien intrusions, but asides from those she felt normal. There were no other signs of deterioration. Maybe this was all it would be, and she clung to that. “You’re right.” She looked up at the wonderful man she’d married. “This is just another hurdle. God knows we’ve had plenty of those over the years.”

“Absolutely,” Kaidan smiled, smoothing back her hair from her face. “It’s going to be tough, and frustrating as hell for you,” he warned, “but you won’t ever be alone, Terra.”

“I know,” she whispered before she kissed him. She’d been wrong earlier – this man would always be her safe haven, even now when the threat lay within her. He’d empowered her again; action was still hers to take. “I need to call Dr T’Esana. Arrange my first therapy session. … See what medication she suggests.”

“You wouldn’t rather we found someone else after what she did?” Kaidan frowned.

Shepard shrugged. “I don’t need to like her. Chakwas said she’s the best, and it’s clear the Council respect her opinion. If I go to someone else for treatment, there’s a chance the Council would want me to be re-evaluated by T’Esana before they’ll reinstate me anyway. The sooner I can past this, the better. But first…” Shepard turned towards their son and joined him on the floor. “Hey, gorgeous guy.” Beaming up at her, he bounced on his bottom with a squeal of delight, and immediately shifted closer to her. She nuzzled her nose against his soft face, loose strands of her hair tickling him so he chuckled. She loved that sound as much as she loved that baby scent he still had, and his tiny hands reached up for her face. She enclosed them in hers and he used the leverage to pull himself up to his feet where he wavered as he tried to balance.

“It won’t be long before he starts to take his first steps all by himself,” smiled Kaidan, sitting on the sofa.

Nate babbled as if in agreement, then stretched to use the coffee table as a prop so he could make his unsteady way towards his daddy.

“Just so long as I’m there to see it,” said Shepard, watching Nate reach his destination, throw an excited sound at his father’s praise, then carry on back to her, this time using the sofa. She welcomed Nate’s arrival with a grinning ‘clever boy’ and a hug that he relaxed into, his little cheek resting on her shoulder as he reciprocated.

When the comm rang out again, Kaidan checked it. “Garrus.”

Guiltily, she switched her omnitool back on, and Kaidan transferred it over.

“ _Shepard! What-!? I- I’ve just seem some crazy report about you being…well, crazy! And losing your Spectre status!? Have the Council lost their minds?_ ”

“It’s not so crazy, Garrus; it’s _me_ losing my mind. I’ve had some…issues over the past day or so – seeing people, _things_ …that can’t be there, and… I’ve been taken off active duty by both the Council and the Alliance until they’ve been addressed.” Nate was attracted to the orange glow at her wrist, and Kaidan had to distract him before he attempted to taste her omnitool. “I can’t blame them. They’re being cautious. Can’t have another Saren swanning around causing problems,” she added, with more light-heartedness than she felt.

“ _Shepard… I… I don’t know what to say…. I’m sorry I wasn’t around_.”

“Working on something big?” she asked, brushing over the apology he didn’t need to make. Kaidan’s omnitool chimed in the background.

“ _We’ve been investigating a merchant here for a while now, and we made the bust today. Found a huge haul of smuggled goods, including drugs and weapons. This guy is in some major trouble right now, and I’m pretty certain I can get him to roll over on who his contacts are. If I’m right, it will trace back to Eclipse, and could even identify some big players on the Citadel itself_.”

“Sounds impressive.” She grinned as Kaidan tried checking his message while keeping it out of reach of the little hands that wanted it badly.

“ _Yeah, it’s a big deal. But…it won’t hurt to let the guy stew in a cell for a while, so…I can come over_ -“

“Don’t even think about it, Vakarian. You’ve got a job to do. Besides, I’m fine.” It was a statement no-one was buying, least of all herself, but Garrus would relent because he was a tenacious individual when it came to criminals, and he knew he was at far better use there than he was sitting on her couch offering platitudes.

“ _Okay, then. If you’re sure. You know I’m there if you need me_.”

“I do. Thanks, Garrus.”

She ended the call, grateful she had him, and knew it wouldn’t be the last call she got. Typing out a quick message to all her crew, she asked them to please wait until the morning when she would address them all aboard the Normandy and answer any questions they had. The thought of her ship and crew being assigned to someone else was a dagger in her already damaged heart, but they all deserved to be out there, performing their roles, and the Normandy was an asset that shouldn’t be left in dry-dock.

Reaching out to sweep Nate off his feet, Shepard tickled his tummy to get the instant chortle that never failed to chase away any bad thought with ease, to be replaced with her own laughter. “Dinner time, sweetness.” She stood, taking him with her, and headed to the kitchen. “Anything interesting?” she asked Kaidan over her shoulder.

“Sorry?” He sauntered in behind her.

“The message.” She placed Nate in the high-chair and headed for the fridge where she had already prepared a home-made meal for him.

“Oh, uh… no. Nothing.” Kaidan leaned against the counter and made a spider with his fingers in order to entertain Nate while she warmed his food. He’d have fooled anyone else with his indifferent response, but she knew better.

“Kaidan Alenko!” Shepard admonished, giving him her ‘I’m not fooled’ look that involved one arched brow, and his face scrunched up apologetically at being caught. Then he sighed, his lips pressing together like he really didn’t want to tell her.

“It was an invite from an old colleague, John Roque. From the first unit I was in actually. Seems several of them are on the Citadel and he thought it would be good to get everyone together for a catch-up.”

Shepard stared at him, dismay pulling at her. “You weren’t going to go because of me,” she stated.

His eyes dropped briefly in silent confession. “I don’t want to leave you alone. Not after everything today.”

“Do you trust me with Nate?”

“Of course I do! Terra! Don’t ever doubt that!”

“If everything was…normal, would you be going?”

Kaidan’s mouth pursed again. “Yeah, I would,” he admitted, reluctantly.

“Of course you would, because these are people you’ve worked with - people who had your back – and because getting together again after such a long time is a great idea that promises an evening of fun and laughter, and who knows when or if you’ll get the chance again. You’re not missing out on that because of me.”

“Terra-“

“Kaidan. Put yourself in my place.”

“I can’t,” he said, honestly. “I have no idea how you’re feeling right now. I know you’re scared, and I know you need me. What am I missing?”

“That I need what little normality’s left. That it’s important to me to know you’re not holding back on enjoying yourself because you feel you need to babysit me. I’m a big girl, Kaidan, and no matter the title and responsibility they took away from me, I’m still the same person. A fighter.”

Those lovely whisky eyes appraised her, and she saw the love and pride there, making her feel so much better than she thought she could considering the turn her life had taken.

“Yes, you are,” he murmured, a gentle smile on his face. His hands went to her waist and tugged her close. “I love you, Terra Shepard.” His lips ghosted teasingly over hers until she grabbed his head and demanded more, which he gave with a throaty laugh. His kisses never failed to ignite her insides, and now was no different.

A consternated squeal broke the moment, and they parted with laughter as Nate banged his spoon on his empty tray.

“I’m sorry, sweetie!” apologised Shepard, retrieving his dinner. Once Kaidan had kissed Nate’s forehead, she placed the bowl in front of her youngster, grabbing another spoon so she could help him actually get something in his mouth. Before she did so, Shepard ran her free fingers down Kaidan’s lips, enjoying the heated look he always gave her when she did it. “I love you, too. Now go.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he delivered with a smiling salute, but she detected the slight reservation on his face before he turned to go. She watched him exit the apartment and was hit with a moment of apprehension. Her visions always seemed to happen when she was by herself…. Except she wasn’t alone.

Returning her attention to Nate, she put her hands on her hips. “Really?” Then she could only laugh at the sight of him, food dumped out on the tray in his endeavour to chew on the bowl.

She _would_ be fine. She had to be.

-o-O-o-

**To: Wraith**

**From: D. Vosque**

**Just saw the newsvid on Shepard. I don’t know how you did it, but I’m impressed. Okay, you’ve proven yourself, so I’m happy to proceed as we discussed. Remember my terms upon completion: Omega and Aria – all mine.**

**D.V.**

Darner sent the message and typed out another to go to each of his eight team leaders who were currently wasting time making nice with the various human colonists to keep up appearances. His other two teams had pulled out from their colonies when they saw that the Alliance fighters weren’t biotic, as well as his people from the eight teams who weren’t required after the ambushes.

It was time to get things moving. Darner grinned to himself. Life was going to get real good, real soon.

-o-

Yanis read the message from her boss and smirked, indicating with a small jerk of her head for the others to gather. Moving to a quiet area, well away from any of the colonists, she fidgeted in the unfamiliar armour that was a little tight in places, cursing the woman it belonged to for being slighter than her. The fact that Alliance marine ‘M. Hammond’ was dead was some small appeasement, though having to clean off the blood before she could use the armour had pissed her off no end. “Time to go, boys. Helmets on, and remember who you’re meant to be. Make sure you’re loaded and ready for action, but don’t make it obvious.”

Swapping her omnitool over to Hammond’s, which she’d already used to make a false report to fool the Spectre, Alenko, she linked to the Alliance ship that had brought the marines here and requested a pick-up. Those dumb-asses weren’t going to know what hit them.

**-o-O-o-**


	7. Chapter 7

Kaidan walked into the thumping, vibrant atmosphere of The Orbital Lounge, which boasted itself as being the only club that gets your head literally spinning, thanks to its rotating dance floor. It even had attendants to help the tipsier revellers to step on and off without losing their feet from under them. It was a crazy concept, not to mention his worst nightmare with its strobe lights and booming music to add to it, but it obviously appealed to the small horde jostling excitedly for space on the substantial dance surface with its colour-changing under-lighting.

Just a few steps in, it quickly became clear to Kaidan that though it was only the central area that circled, it still created the illusion you were spinning round it; probably why the bars were faced outwards, so their bartenders didn’t suffer motion sickness. Gritting his teeth, Kaidan looked away from the middle and focused on the outer edges where the seating was arranged in two distinct areas: high tables with stools that were closest to the dance floor and bar, and low tables surrounded by sofas for a more intimate and quieter climate next to the walls.

“Kaidan! You made it!”

He turned towards the voice and accompanying cheers of the others. Grinning at the older but still familiar face of John Roque, Kaidan made his way over, thankful they’d chosen the calmer place to socialise.

Roque had always been the life of the party, and had often forced Kaidan’s head out of his datapad and omnitool in order to ensure he didn’t end up secluded. At the time, Kaidan had always sighed at the disruption, happy to remain unbothered, but nevertheless did his part to be ‘one of the guys’. Looking back now, he was truly indebted to Roque for that unwavering effort to pull him from his solitude.

“John, it’s great to see you again,” greeted Kaidan, with a handshake that led to a brief manly hug complete with over-hard pat on the backs.

It was a process which was repeated for the rest of his old friends – those that had survived over the years between anyway, which equated to four.

“Never thought you’d show,” admitted Dane Yanson, a tech guru who Kaidan remembered as always being at his happiest tinkering or imparting his vast knowledge, which had suited Kaidan because he was eager to learn. They’d spent many an off-duty evening hunched over their omnitools in deep discussion. “Figured you’d be too busy what with being a General, Spectre, _and_ husband to the Saviour of the Galaxy, no less!”

Kaidan huffed at that. “Yeah, uh, I have to admit it wasn’t an easy decision to walk out the door tonight, no offense. But Shepard insisted, and she was right: who knows when we’ll get to do this again?”

“Amen to that, brother! Still, I know where I’d be!” laughed Lyle Berkov, whose glassy eyes inferred he’d been drinking for a while. “In fact, as you’re _here_ …perfect opportunity,” ribbed the soldier, with a shark-like grin, pretending to walk off on his way to her, while raking a hand through his artificially-blonde flop of a fringe which he’d always insisted made him irresistible.

Kaidan’s return smile was more a grimace. Lyle wasn’t his favourite person. The chisel-faced, lean but muscular man used to boast of his reputation as the ‘prince of one-night-stands’, entertaining the less discerning members of the crew with his conquests. Finding it nothing but distasteful and disrespectful to the women involved, Kaidan had always walked off, and if Lyle’s comment just now was anything to go by, the man hadn’t matured.

“Just kidding, brother!” Lyle laughed raucously, slapping him on the back in a way that made Kaidan’s hands curl into fists. “Man, you should have seen your face for a second there. Still don’t know how you got a catch like that - I mean, you’ve got the looks, but you’re a nerd!” Lyle shook his head in disbelief, and Kaidan wondered how Berkov had actually managed to survive all this time when he had such a severe case of foot-in-mouth. “Man, that’s one woman I’d be more than happy to come home to tap every night!”

“Shut up, Berkov!” snapped the only female soldier in their old unit, Rissa Decanus.

His jaw clenched, Kaidan reminded himself the man was drunk, and had to consciously loosen his fist before he punched the man. Still, Berkov’s reference to Terra grated on him. But thoughts of his wife worked to smooth down his raised hackles, and he could almost hear Terra singing ‘caveman’ at him. That made his smile turn to a genuine one, and he turned it to the woman still scowling at Berkov.

She was a pretty red-head who often got attention, though he’d never seen anyone succeed at capturing her interest. Kaidan had gotten the distinct impression she’d have been more than amenable to a little fraternisation with _him_ though, had he been willing. But he hadn’t. He liked her – they’d had many a chat and laugh together – but, for him, that hadn’t been enough to risk his career for. Unlike Terra….

Maybe he should call her; check she was alright. He shot that down as soon as the thought materialised. The only thing that would accomplish was to suggest he didn’t think she should be left alone. Truth was, he didn’t – not really – but not because he thought she might harm anyone, though that hospital incident had unsettled him. No, it was because she was undergoing an extremely frightening experience right now, including a huge and unexpected upheaval in her life and though she would stand tall and weather it all by herself just to prove she could, she simply didn’t have to.

“Some people never change, do they? More’s the pity,” muttered Rissa, scowling at Berkov’s back as he trailed Roque and Yanson to the bar.

Kaidan realised he’d phased out. “Huh. Yeah.”

Her eyes trailed over him. “You’re looking really good, Kaidan.” Her mouth had a seductive curl and Kaidan felt a blush blooming.

“Uh, well…thanks. You, uh, you too.” He was careful to make it sound like the casual returned compliment it was, and not a flirtation.

She smiled her appreciation. “For all his faults, Berkov actually had a good idea getting us together.”

“I thought that was Roque.”

“Berkov stumbled upon him, then heard about me being here from someone he’d been drinking with who came in on the same ride as me, and I knew Dane’s been around for the last week. With the newsvids screening the Normandy’s resurrection, it wasn’t hard to track _you_ ,” she added with a nudge. “John sent the messages because ‘God’s Gift’ can’t handle his alcohol,” she added derisively.

“Huh! If I remember right, he never could.”

Laughing, she settled on a sofa and Kaidan joined her as the others returned with a tray full of drinks, and as they formed a group round the table, Rissa began reminding them of some of Berkov’s drunken antics. Before he could completely relax however, Kaidan sent a message to Garrus.

-o-O-o-

Garrus was sitting outside his suspect’s cell, giving him the eye through the glass. The human kept glancing up to check if he’d gone, only to swiftly look away with a nervous swallow when he noticed Garrus was still there. That was exactly the response he wanted.

A beep from his omnitool took his eye off his target, but seeing the caller, he didn’t mind giving the imprisoned man a small reprieve.

**Garrus,**

**I’m with some old friends who invited me out, after Shepard insisted I go, but I’m not comfortable knowing she’s alone after everything that happened today. Are you able to find some time to keep her company until I get back? Without telling her I sent you, of course.**

Huffing at the last part, Garrus could just imagine the shit Kaidan would be in for checking up on her by proxy. But Garrus had every intention of popping in tonight anyway. Catching bits of information from the newsvids and chatter from his periphery wasn’t enough for him, especially when it came to Shepard. Damn it, she’d earned more than being the subject of ignorant people’s gossip.

“Bellitis,” he called out to the turian officer typing disinterestedly into his terminal. “I’m out of here for the night. I do need someone to take over my role here at this window, though. Think you can handle it?”

The officer stood instantly, pushed his chest out, and indicated to his extremely light grey eyes that seemed to burrow into Garrus’. “Born for it, Sir.”

With an impressed nod, Garrus sauntered out, his mind already on his destination and what he could possibly say to Shepard.

-o-O-o-

Shepard finished making her tea and ambled over to the sitting area, curling her legs up under her as she settled on the couch, watching the flames from the fire opposite as she sipped. With Nate sleeping for the night, and Rorie unlikely to call for another hour at least, she was out of diversions. The quiet gave the impression that she and the angry-looking flickers of orange heat were the only living entities, and Shepard sighed. It was time to face things.

Placing her mug on the table, Shepard sent a message to Dr T’Esana requesting her first appointment. She still couldn’t quite believe she was headed down a road of therapy sessions and medication. Even the thought of it left her numb. Her hand went to her head, like her problem was a something tangible. The message returned by the doctor was nothing more than a time. Late morning – it would give Shepard enough time to break the news to her crew and bid goodbye to them and the ship that had just welcomed her back. Her bottom lip quivered, and she sucked it in. It wasn’t forever. She’d get them back. Eventually.

Gathering herself, she noticed the unopened messages from her dad and knew she owed him some peace of mind. About to call him, every muscle within her tensed as she caught a muffled sound that didn’t belong in the silence.

Someone was on the other side of the fireplace.

Ever so slowly, Shepard rose up, her hand going to her empty hip. It was an automatic move - even if she’d still had her authority to carry a weapon on the Citadel, she always removed it as soon as she entered her home.

Who was it? What did they want? How had they gained access? How long had they been here? Were they alone? That last question was why she was edging left to get eyes on who it was while placing her back to the blanked out windows, her gaze ever so briefly scanning her surrounding area for sign of anyone else. Every silent step took her closer to the room.

With one swift movement, Shepard swung in low, her omniblade unleashing as her arm pulled back to strike.

The sight of Thane had her instantly faltering, her heart thumping hard in her chest. There was a small cry from Nate upstairs and she quickly stifled the fear that always seemed to slip through the connection that she normally had so much control over. Inhaling deeply, then exhaling slowly, Shepard calmed herself. She didn’t need to be afraid. It was unsettling, yes, but that was all. This wasn’t real.

There was no further sound from Nate, and Shepard tried to relax. Standing there with her omniblade out felt exceedingly stupid. It was reactions like that which had gotten her disarmed in the first place. Disgusted with herself, she closed it down without looking away from the hallucination that pulled at her heart. She missed Thane.

“Siha.”

Pained, Shepard closed her eyes at that word. “Don’t. Please don’t.” Her voice had degraded to a rasp. “You need to go. You’re not meant to be here.” She opened her eyes, but Thane remained.

“It’s time to leave,” Thane said, and he walked out of the lounge, accompanied by a soft padding sound she normally associated with bare feet on the flooring. It was out of place with Thane, not because he was wearing boots, but because he’d always walked silently in them. Shaking her head at herself for expecting her brain to make such a distinction when it conjured up these visions, Shepard nevertheless felt compelled to follow, needing to see it gone.

Rounding the other end of the fireplace, Shepard watched Thane walk towards the front door, wondering why he hadn’t just faded away like the others. At the door, his head lowered, giving Shepard the impression he was experiencing abject shame. His back still to her, the image of Thane turned its head to look over its shoulder at her.

What she saw on that familiar face surprised her. It was the look of a tortured soul, and instinctively Shepard moved forward to offer comfort before she even thought about what she was doing.

“I am … sorry.” This time the voice was incredibly soft and wispy, and nothing like Thane’s.

Shepard halted, now level with the kitchen. A tightness formed in her gut, quickly travelling to her muscles. This was very wrong.

“Forgive me.” Tears trickled down Thane’s face, and then the hallucination did something it shouldn’t have been able to do: its hand hit the door release.

As the doors slid open, Shepard registered the armed batarians on the other side at the same time as one of them shoved ‘Thane’ aside. The obvious threat superseded any confusion and Shepard went into survival mode, flinging herself sideways into the kitchen and out of their eyeline, initiating her cloak as she heard their boots in the corridor leading to the guest room and coming towards the kitchen, aiming to box her in. Eight hostiles - nine including whatever ‘Thane’ was – and she had no damned gun.

What she wanted to do was get to Nate, but they’d cut off the closest access point to him, and engaging those between her and the stairs would mean placing her back to those coming through the kitchen. She had no choice, swiftly heading left and past the study towards the other staircase as they searched for her.

“Don’t waste your time, Shepard!” called out a commanding voice as she got to the stairs. “I see you.”

There was a hitch in her heartbeat before she felt something impact her left side with a sting, her cloak dissipating at the same time. Though it was only a glancing hit, the whole area was flooded with a cooling sensation and she grabbed at her numbed side, pulling out the dart that had pierced her skin. They wanted her alive.

Swinging to look at the man who had spoken – the one clearly in charge - who stood casually in front of the door, she realised he was using an infrared visor which had rendered her cloak useless. Knowing she’d never make it up the stairs before he fired again, Shepard faced her attackers.

Six of the batarians emerged from the kitchen and she rushed forward, placing them between her and their leader and leaving them no time to aim at her. Shepard gave a quick, hard chop to the first one’s neck, causing him to double over as he struggled to breathe through his damaged windpipe. The second batarian barely had time to adjust to her new position as she grabbed the collar of his chest piece, pulled him closer, and drove her omniblade through a weak spot in his armour, just under the arm. He jerked once, and she relieved him of his tranquiliser gun as he sank to the floor, then quickly darted back to the corridor, trampling through the plants and displacing the shale that lined it, the sound of the tranquil water-feature wall mocking her now as she braced herself, knowing the apartment’s layout was working against her. They could come at her from both sides.

“Get the kid,” she heard the leader snap.

It was an order that seized her heart with its talons, sending it into a panicked beat, her first instinct to ensure they _didn’t_ get to Nate.

Two batarians were rushing up the stairs while another two came at her from either side. Shepard sent a dart into the forehead of the one appearing near the study, sending him flying back, then in one fluid motion crouched down onto a knee and spun on it. The move meant the other batarian’s shot went over her head and she planted her own in his neck, then leapt up and kicked the batarian hard in the midriff, knocking him back so he skidded across the floor at the bottom of the stairs the others were halfway up.

Her protective rage sent her racing out towards the rear lounge, sending an incineration blast up the stairs as she dived over the still batarian on the ground, and back into cover. The ascending batarians didn’t arrive on the landing, screaming in panic as they went up in flames; their uneven footing helped topple them back down where they rolled over and over in their bid to douse the flames.

She counted them up in her head. One on his knees near the kitchen, clutching his throat as he tried to breathe, his eyes rolling back, then collapsing; one dead on the floor from her blade; the one she’d shot in the forehead, and she could see his boots from here where he lay numb from the tranquiliser; another near her feet, awake but also unable to move; and the two burned, now lifeless bodies, made six.

Shepard peeked round the wall. She was no longer counting the strange being who was slumped against the wall beside the door, hugging its knees to its chest, no longer looking like Thane. She had no time to dwell on its features beyond the obvious: translucent skin, completely hairless, naked, and female. Some kind of shape-changer? Defenceless in every other way, it… _she_ was clearly enslaved.

The batarian leader still stood at the door, arms crossed. Seven. Where was the eighth?

The cry from the balcony sent a chilled shockwave through Shepard, and she froze as the eighth batarian appeared – he’d used the far stairs whilst she’d been distracted. He was holding Nate up by his leg so he dangled upside down, a vicious-looking knife pressed to his belly. The meaning was clear: surrender or her son would die.

“Accept it, human,” said the leader. “You’re not getting out of this one.”

Battling the frenzied turmoil within her, she tried to think. She could use the tranquiliser gun on the man above her, but there was no certainty he wouldn’t still be able to make good on his threat before he succumbed. It was too risky, and she couldn’t see any other options.

Shepard was besieged with fear, not for her own life, but for her son’s. She’d isolated herself, and now she desperately needed help.

-o-O-o-

Garrus exited the cab and started towards Shepard’s apartment block, having to push his way through a large group of very loud revellers who were blocking the way as they waited for more cabs to no doubt take them on to other places of entertainment. Garrus winced at the exuberant shouts and singing that drowned out everything else.

One female human got the wrong idea as he tried to nudge past her and, being under the influence of alcohol, she began to dance provocatively against him. Awkward was an understatement, and Garrus instantly held her away from him at full arm’s length, checked his path was clear, then released her as he swiftly made his escape. The apartment door had never looked so damn far away before.

Still, reliving the experience to Shepard might amuse her; take her mind off the crap hand she’d been dealt.

When someone grabbed his arm, Garrus turned with a sigh at the persistent female. Only it wasn’t her. Instead, he was faced with one of his newest detectives, with four officers just behind him.

“Tavitus. Is there something you need?” Garrus said loudly, trying to be heard.

Tavitus frowned at the mass of people, and Garrus gestured towards the apartment block. With a nod from Tavitus, he led the way into the foyer, waiting for the doors to close out the noise.

“Executor Vakarian,” Tavitus said with gravitas, handing out a datapad to him. “This is from the Council stating I have authorisation to take you into custody for the charge of embezzlement.”

Garrus couldn’t have been more stunned if the young turian had told him he was a Reaper in disguise. “Embezzlement! What in the spirits sake are you talking about? Is this some kind of joke? Because I’m not amused.” He looked through the datapad only to have the severity of the situation smack him squarely in the face. This was official - from Councillor Sparatus himself. He was, with immediate effect, removed from his position.

“This is real,” said Tavitus, crossing his arms as he levelled a judgemental look. “You and your cohorts got caught.”

“Cohorts?” Garrus worried who else had been dragged into this ridiculous claim.

“You know who. And embezzlement’s just the beginning.”

The officers had moved to surround him – men he no longer commanded – and Tavitus removed the datapad from his hand.

“This is a mistake, Tavitus. Whatever this is about, I’m not involved.”

Tavitus nodded at an officer to proceed, and Garrus’ wrists were cuffed and his weapon removed. “Evidence suggests otherwise, Vakarian.”

Not even a ‘Sir’. Anger flared up within Garrus at being disregarded as a petty criminal – he’d damn well earned respect and this upstart wasn’t giving him one iota. “Then your evidence is bullshit.”

“We can discuss it in a cell.”

With no option but to go with them, Garrus let them lead him back out onto the Strip, which was quieter now that the revellers had moved on. He was boiling with fury at Tavitus, trying to work out whether this turian was involved in setting him up or just an oblivious pawn for someone else. He had enough enemies, he was sure.

Everything had been stripped from him with a few words from the Council, and he got a far clearer idea of how Shepard was feeling in that moment. It was jarring. One minute everything was running smoothly, and the next it was nothing but uncertainty. His job was gone, and now he was left battling a nonsense charge.

He looked back at the retreating apartment block where his closest friend resided – unaware of what was happening to him. As he faced the C-Sec shuttle that had arrived to transport him, Garrus had already decided that she had enough to deal with without adding his problems too. He wouldn’t ask for her assistance. As difficult as it would be to make the call, Garrus needed his father.

-o-O-o-

Shepard was fixed on the point of the blade that had started to dig into Nate’s skin.

Though tension ran through every part of her, Shepard felt defeat pull at her. “If I surrender, will you let him live?”

“Sure,” answered their leader. He was too blasé, and she didn’t trust it, but what choice did she have?

Dropping the dart gun, she stepped out into the batarian leader’s view and sank to her knees with her hands up, prepared to beg for her son’s life. She’d failed to protect him, and his wailing and writhing was torture.

She was aware of the lead batarian finally moving, then the slight sting at her neck sent a cool sensation throughout her body, relaxing her muscles, and she began to feel disconnected from her limbs yet very aware. Her body crumpled to the ground, her view changing from Nate to the ceiling, only to be filled with the batarian’s face as he crouched over her.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to get my hands on you, Shepard. Today is the first day you answer for Aratoht.” He then started to speak into his omnitool, calling for a clear-up team.

Shepard noticed how unhurried this batarian was, like he knew Kaidan wouldn’t be back anytime soon, and she worried that something had befallen him. Then the batarian grabbed her face and tilted it towards Nate.

“Take a good last look, Shepard.”

Tears filled her eyes.

That’s when she noticed the figure flit soundlessly over to Nate, righting him and pulling him out of the batarian’s hold and away from the knife, cradling him comfortingly. Shepard found immense relief in that.

This…humanoid…was like none she’d ever seen before. This was the being that had somehow taken the appearance of those Shepard loved, fooling her into believing she was going mad.

“You,” barked the leader. “I didn’t tell you to move.”

Shepard watched the almost ethereal woman cower, visibly shaking yet holding Nate closer to her as he cried.

“I beg…forgiveness, Master,” shook that wispy voice.

“You know the rule: act out of turn and you pay a price.” He folded his arms and Shepard inwardly shivered at the nasty look on his face. “Kill the kid.”

The female looked as horrified as Shepard felt. Her own body was trembling yet unresponsive no matter how hard she willed it to move to save her son. Instead, she could only watch as this enslaved being bowed her head in submission to her ‘master’. Ignoring the knife offered by the smirking batarian beside her, the female carried Nate away, and Shepard’s inner voice was screaming, begging – to God, to _anything_ that might be able to help stop this.

The leader gestured with his head at his minion above them. “Make sure she does it.”

Shepard could only watch as the batarian walked casually off the balcony, while she was trapped inside herself. She wanted to connect her mind to Nate’s, to send him her love, to soothe him so he wouldn’t be alone, but her mind was too frenzied to form it.

When Nate’s crying suddenly stopped, a cold, unrelenting fist of despair punched its way into her stomach, reaching up to rend her heart apart, bile rising into her throat.

The batarian appeared at the balcony, giving his leader the nod it was done, and Shepard’s tears fell.

**-o-O-o-**


	8. Chapter 8

Security Chief Hanaya Silva looked over the gallery railing, affording a view of the large foyer that welcomed those who had need to dock. The _Carousel_ space station, was a little busier than usual. The large asari-built research platform was primarily the building yard for their most advanced ships yet, and they currently had a small fleet’s worth of vessels in mid-construction.

Like the turians, salarians and humans, this was one of several built specifically between prime mining sites for easier and faster access to the resources nearby, negating the need to transport minerals all the way back to their home planets.

They also served as fuelling stations, and the Alliance ship _Bayonne_ was docked for just that, its crew taking the chance to stretch their legs and check out what parts of the station they were allowed to explore.

Hanaya watched some of those loitering below with an unease that surprised her. These were Alliance soldiers. Allies. Yet there was something that didn’t sit right, and she couldn’t relax.

“What’s wrong?”

Sparing nothing more than a glance at her second-in-command, Hanaya returned to her watch. “They don’t seem as…professional…as I had expected.” Yes, that was it. There was a laziness in their postures, and their demeanours weren’t as polished as those she’d met before.

“They’re probably new. The humans are as busy recruiting as we are. Everyone’s in a rush to get troops out before mercs become a nuisance. Training’s probably focused more on making sure they know how to fire a gun than how to conduct themselves.”

Hanaya saw one of them leer once more at a couple of her people as they passed by, and it made her uncomfortable.

“ _Chief, the Alliance ship’s re-fuelled._ ”

“Good. Get them on their way,” she responded to Station Control.

“ _Yes, Ma’am._ ”

“So much for our hospitality,” smirked her second.

“I’ll live with it.”

Fifteen long minutes passed before she watched the Bayonne finally leaving.

“Want to join me for a drink?” breathed out Hanaya. “I feel like I need one.”

“Sure.”

By the time the two of them had descended from the gallery to the floor below, the first explosion rocked the station.

“What the hell’s that!? Get me a damage report!” yelled Hanaya, and the Alliance ship immediately, and unjustifiably, came to mind.

“Internal!” informed her second, who had scurried over to the nearest terminal. “Localised! But it doesn’t make sense! There’s nothing in that sector that could blow!”

Hanaya didn’t have time to contemplate what that meant before the answer became all too clear as one after another, more explosions began to tear apart the station around them. Bombs.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan was buzzing a little from the alcohol in his system. It had been a while since he’d allowed himself to drink this much, and it created a horrible crawling in his chest as he began associating the feeling with that time he’d drank himself into oblivion in order to deal – or rather _not_ deal – with Terra’s death after the SR-1 went down.

As good as this night had been, as much as he had laughed as they reminisced, Kaidan’s heart wasn’t there with them. The past was gone - the journey he’d taken to get to where he was, full of lessons he’d hopefully learned from - and only the present and future mattered. He wanted to go home. In fact, Kaidan felt an inordinate _need_ to be with Terra, and he wanted to be there _now_.

“Guys, this has been really great, but I think I’m done for the night.” Slinging back the last mouthful from his glass, Kaidan stood up.

“Aww! Come on! Kaidan! The night’s still young!” reasoned Berkov, and though he was seated the man still looked like he might fall over, he was so inebriated.

“I know, but I should be going.”

“You gotta stay for one last drink, at least,” reasoned Roque. “So we can make a toast!”

As if reading Roque’s mind, a batarian appeared with a tray of shot glasses. “Compliments of the house. It’s an honour to have you visit our establishment, Spectre Alenko.”

“Uh, thanks,” Kaidan said, accepting the glass he was handed.

“We always welcome the Alliance, too,” added the batarian, who passed a glass to Rissa, then offered the tray out for the others to take their own.

“Sweet,” grinned Berkov. “Definitely doing this again, Kaid, buddy. I’ve never gotten a free drink before,” he raved, before knocking his over as his dulled senses failed to send his hand to the right place. “Ah, shit.”

The rest of them laughed.

“It’s probably for the best,” said Rissa. “You’re going to be puking your guts out tonight as it is.”

Roque stood and lifted his glass, and Yanson and Rissa followed suit while Kaidan helped Berkov to his unsteady feet. “It’s a damned miracle we’re still here, and that’s thanks to you and your wife, Alenko. So cheers to you both. Without you, tonight couldn’t have happened, and it’s been a good one.”

“And to those who didn’t make it,” said Kaidan, attempting to take the focus off him. “They were in our thoughts.”

“To old comrades,” nodded Rissa.

“To us lucky bastards,” added Yanson. “And may we still be around to do it again.”

“Yeah. What you all said,” agreed Berkov, promptly falling back into his seat as the rest of them downed their shots in one and instantly started coughing as the strong liquid burned its way down their gullets.

“Damn!” winced Kaidan. “What the hell was that!?”

“I dunno, but it was wicked stuff,” grimaced Yanson.

Kaidan could already feel it affecting his head.

“Okay, that’s done it for me,” announced Rissa, her face now in a serious frown. “It’s messing with my head, whatever it is.” As if to prove it, she wavered on her feet and Kaidan gripped her arm to steady her even as his own head spun.

“Me too,” Kaidan said. “You guys staying?”

“I’m going to see if I can’t get some caffeine into this fool here,” Roque gestured at Berkov, who now had his head tipped back as he dozed. “Might need some myself after that. Until next time, take care of yourselves.”

Yanson nodded that he was going too, and the three of them meandered out.

Exiting the club was like inhaling fresh air that brought a wonderful quiet and calm with it. Not that Kaidan could fully appreciate it right now. Yanson wordlessly waved goodbye as he went off down a passageway in the opposite direction, and Kaidan and Rissa made their way towards the cabs.

“Shit, Kaidan. I feel really weird.”

“Ditto.” His vision was going and Kaidan quickly got to a low wall and slumped against it, just so he could close his eyes for a bit. He felt Rissa’s hand on his shoulder.

“You gonna be alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll, uh… I’ll just sit here for a bit. Wait for my head to clear. You should probably do the same.”

“Sounds sensible, but I think maybe I’ll try and walk it off. I’m definitely not fit to drive, and my hotel’s not too far away.”

“Then I’ll walk you.” Even as he said it, Kaidan wondered if he could actually walk at all.

Rissa gave a soft laugh. “Always were the gentleman. I missed that. Okay. We can stumble through the wards together.”

Then she made an ‘oof’ sound, and there was a scuffling. Opening his eyes, Kaidan tried to focus, alarmed to see she wasn’t there. He clambered back to his feet, but then Rissa appeared from his right.

“You okay?” Kaidan checked, though his own vision spiralled nauseatingly.

“I was sick. Feeling better now.”

Though she was only next to him, Rissa’s voice sounded far away and a little disjointed. Kaidan managed a half-laugh. “I’m actually jealous,” he mumbled. He expected her to laugh too, but there was no response. Though his eyes felt incredibly heavy, he tilted his head to the side to see Rissa staring at him blankly.

“Let’s go,” she said, lifting his arm over her head so it rested across her shoulders, and her arm went to his waist to support him.

Kaidan wasn’t so sure who was helping who home now, and their first steps were staggered at best, but they somehow got into a rhythm. Yet Kaidan still struggled to keep his eyes open, and as he trailed down a corridor, arm in arm with Rissa, he chastised himself for having that last drink when all he’d wanted was to get home to Terra.

-o-O-o-

Jorgal Thurak was stood in a dug-out, watching the arrival of the female, Bakara, through his scope. The heat from Tuchanka’s sun was strong enough to make his hump feel like it could melt, and it irritated him as much as Urdnot’s existence.

“You said that Wrex would bring the war to us,” grumbled his brood brother, Thug.

“Seems Urdnot’s king has lost his quad. Should have known. He’s no real krogan. Not anymore.” Thurak lowered the scope now he was sure that Wrex was not present. “Like the ambassador, he’s nothing more than a varren on the aliens’ leash.”

Having seen enough, Thurak made his way out of the trench, eager to get back to the cool of the waiting tomkah. There weren’t many living things that ventured out during the hottest part of the day, for good reason, and as Thurak passed the green foliage that was becoming more abundant now the females cared enough to nurture it, he was further aggravated that the plants could thrive without withering in this heat, where he couldn’t. It was a weakness, and Thurak stopped outside the tomkah, deliberately enduring the intensity while he waited for Thug to catch up. It was a display of his superiority to the younger krogan who barrelled inside the vehicle with his head bowed submissively. When Thurak did step in, it was unhurried, and he refused to welcome the shade. He was a true krogan.

Once the hatch was slammed shut, the tomkah began forging its way back to Jorgal territory.

“So what now?”

“Now we use our back-up plan,” said Thurak. “Urdnot’s leaderless.”

“The female-“ Thug broke off under Thurak’s challenging glare.

“Females cannot lead clans. They only serve as breeders.”

“The tank-bred stands in Wrex’s stead.”

Thurak gave a snort of derision. “Who would follow a tank-bred when a better candidate’s put forth? And we have that.” He could almost taste the blood of battle dawning of them. “Prepare our clan. We move soon.”

-o-O-o-

Shepard had finally regained feeling in her body, but her hands had been cuffed behind her back; her omnitool and blade removed. She lay on her side, staring up at her balcony, drained of emotion. Every now and then a shudder emanated from deep within her, before subsiding for a while until the next, like her body was forcing her to acknowledge the shock and grief her mind was resisting.

More batarians had entered her apartment, dealing with the bodies of those she’d killed, while the ones she’d knocked out with their own tranquiliser now scowled at her as they helped remove any sign of the altercation that had taken place here. She should have wondered why, but Shepard was having trouble caring about anything but the vacant space inside her.

Nate…. She wanted to reach out and touch that sweet mind she’d been granted the honour of sharing, but she couldn’t face being met with nothing but…nothing.

Kaidan had been gone too long as well. She’d urged him to go and enjoy himself, but she knew he’d have been home hours ago if he had been able to. She hoped she was wrong. She hoped he was still enjoying the opportunity to reunite with old friends and had gotten absolutely drunk while doing it.

That was the image she tried to maintain: Kaidan stumbling back from the bar, arm in arm with an old mate, laughing as they went. And Nate…. Nate was asleep in his bed…. She suppressed the sob. That last one she couldn’t hold on to.

“All done.”

The leader nodded at his lackey. “Slave!” he shouted out, and the woman hurried down from where she’d been sitting on the stairs, and bowed in front of him. “You know what I want from you next. This will be your most important role yet. Mess it up and I will string up every one of your offspring and torture them for the rest of their days. Now go do what you need to.” He flicked his hand in dismissal, and the female humanoid instantly moved away and knelt in front of Shepard.

From this close, Shepard could see the desolation in the woman’s silver eyes, set in a face that was not used to seeing such atrocity. Whatever race she was, she had endured horrors not akin to her way of life. Her hands trembled as they rose to Shepard’s face, who noticed that her central fingers were fused just like a drell’s, and they rested gently at either side of Shepard’s head. Then the woman lowered her own face, closing her eyes as she placed her forehead to Shepard’s in a way that felt oddly intimate.

There was a caressing warmth and Shepard could feel this being accessing her mind, yet she felt no force. It was so gentle and apologetic it surprised Shepard, and she had no instinct to deny her.

Before her eyes, the woman’s face began transforming, but not in shape. She was the same beneath, but her skin took on the image of Shepard herself. It was an illusion, like a chameleon, but instead of the skin blending into the environment – which she now understood it could also do - it was mimicking what the being’s mind saw. But this humanoid could do more than that: she could use Shepard’s memories – accessed through touch - to recreate a person’s demeanour and voice. This woman was remarkable, and in the hands of these batarians she was the perfect tool to gain access to anyone they wished.

 _Shanti_. It was whispered to Shepard like knowledge re-surfacing. Shanti was the name of the race. Then other thoughts and images attached themselves to that name, building up a picture of a people who were at one with the natural environment in which they lived, who harmed nothing, nor took any more than was offered by the trees that dropped their fruits. What Shepard was being given was like the prothean cipher – an understanding of a culture so basic there was no hint of anything close to technology.

Then Shepard was offered a memory that was not her own – no feelings were attached, purely the scene as it unfolded through the eyes of this woman – and Shepard nearly pushed it away as she realised it was what happened to Nate. But there was only a soft assurance in response, and trusting that, Shepard allowed it in.

_Rushing down the hall to Nate’s room, she touches his mind, lulling him to sleep and placing him inside the closet, safe. She grabs a baby doll she had noticed during her many times within the apartment – so life-like – and places it in the cot. Hearing one of the masters strolling in, she grasps up a pillow from the bed and presses it over the plastic face. A master is there, breathing over her, looking down. She thinks he’s going to lift the pillow, but he sees the foot sticking out from the edge of the blanket – unmoving – and he chuckles as he leaves the room._

Shepard was so overcome with relief that she couldn’t stop the tears. Nate was alive, upstairs asleep in his hidden place. Tentatively, Shepard reached out with her mind and found that beautiful, slumbering mind, careful not to stir him, then left him so she could send a thank you to this woman who had risked so much for her son. The batarians may have thought they’d broken this being’s mind, but there was something that still held strong.

Shepard reached out, needing to know this woman’s name.

Then Zaliesh was leaving just as gently as she had entered, leaving behind a feeling that Shepard could only equate to a mental hug. The Shanti were a beautiful, innocent people, and it angered Shepard that the batarians would use them like this.

Someone had switched on the screen in the rear lounge, and the news began streaming into the apartment with a surreal normality.

“Wait for the news, then go where I showed you earlier,” ordered the leader, prompting an immediate nod from Zaliesh, wearing Shepard’s face. It lent another dreamlike quality to the moment, but Shepard tried not to dwell on it – what was about to come on the news? “Take this when it’s time.” The batarian grinned as he handed Zaliesh a pill. “It’ll put a little aggression in you. Remember: you’re going to be watched, so make it good. They’ll put you in a cell. Say nothing. Give it a few hours and then get out and to the ship. Understood?”

Another nod from Zaliesh, eyes down, but the batarian lead grabbed her face and made her look at him.

“Don’t think about making a bid for freedom. You don’t turn up and your children will die,” he warned. Then he gestured up the stairs. “Go put on a uniform.”

With one last look at her, Zaliesh disappeared up the stairs, and Shepard was left wondering what the hell they were planning to do with her lookalike that would get ‘her’ arrested.

“Let’s get you to your transportation,” the leader sneered.

There was another sting at her neck, and once again she was left detached from her body – they couldn’t have her attempting to escape or garner attention.

As she was hauled upright and towards the door, Shepard’s eyes went to where her son was, knowing Zaliesh would care for him for as long as she could. The woman was stationary on the balcony, a mirror image, looking forlorn and in need of aid. But Shepard had seen something that could prevail through all this.

Whatever happened next, Shepard wouldn’t break either.

**-o-O-o-**


	9. Chapter 9

Joker paced the CIC, wringing his cap because it gave his usually-busy fingers something to do. Traynor stood at her station, but with her back to it, arms wrapped around herself as she watched him walk by her, but she said nothing. Neither did the rest of the crew who had congregated here awaiting their captain.

Except she wasn’t here, and according to a stunned Altair who had woken Joker up with an early call, late last night Mikhailovich had left the ship she was piloting in order to take command of Normandy. Joker’s endeavour to discover what was going on had been unsuccessful; Shepard’s omnitool wasn’t connecting, and Kaidan wasn’t answering his.

“Do you think she’s alright?” murmured Traynor, as he passed her again, and this time Joker halted.

“No. No, I don’t!” The cap got crushed with his vehement statement, and despite everyone’s focus on him, he continued. “You saw what they’re saying about her on those newsvids yesterday, right? The Council’s ditched her, and she’s not here. She’s never not here when she says she’s going to be! And I can’t get hold of her, or Kaidan. Something’s very, very wrong.” Joker looked over the crew, their faces as confused as he felt.

All except one. Chakwas was staring at her feet, apparently in deep thought, and Joker nudged his way over to her as he realised that if any of what they were saying about Shepard’s mental decline was true, then Chakwas would have been Shepard’s first port of call.

The doctor saw his approach and immediately raised her hand in a silent order to stop. “Don’t ask, Jeff. You know I can’t tell you anything pertaining to Shepard’s medical status.”

“So there is one,” he pushed, and Chakwas sighed in place of the denial he was hoping for. “Shit….” Joker was completely knocked off balance by it all. But there’d been no warning signs, and even with Chakwas’ non-denial, he couldn’t imagine Shepard losing it. “Not Shepard. She’s screwed up tighter than anyone I know.”

Of course, Chakwas maintained her professional silence.

“Explain to me why she isn’t here,” he demanded from the doctor, like she had all the answers.

“I honestly don’t know. Maybe she had an unexpected call from Command….” Her voice trailed off as she, like the rest of them, realised what that could mean.

“That’s it,” decided Joker. “I’m going to call Hackett. He’s got to know something.” He hadn’t taken more than a couple of steps towards his bridge before he faltered at the sight of the admiral entering the ship. Around him the crew were standing at attention and saluting as the man approached.

“Have you forgotten protocol, Commander?” snapped Mikhailovich when he got level to Joker.

Everything within the pilot reacted negatively to the presence of this man, and it wormed its way into his tone. “Something you need, Sir? Directions back to your ship?”

The man’s eyes squinted at the petulance. “Admiral Mikhailovich. I’m taking charge of Normandy, effective immediately. She and her crew will be placed at the head of my fleet. Shore-leave’s over.”

“Why? Where’s Shepard?” Joker didn’t care that Mikhailovich’s jaw visibly tightened. The admiral was irritated, but Joker was angry and scared.

“ _Admiral_ Shepard is on medical leave until further no-“

“But _where_ is she? Why hasn’t she said goodbye?”

Instead of answering him, Mikhailovich pressed his lips together, obviously peeved that Joker had interrupted him. “I’ve heard plenty about you, Commander Moreau, and let me make it clear to you now that I won’t stand for any of your nonsense. You will show respect due to your commanding officer, or I will have you replaced. Understand?”

Joker breathed through his nose, keeping his mouth firmly shut to prevent his resentment from escaping further. He just wanted some damn answers. Where the hell was Shepard? She’d have busted a gut to get here before this asshole.

“Good,” said Mikhailovich, mistaking Joker’s silence for subservience. Then he turned to address Clay. “You there. As an Alliance vessel, there’s no place for a quarian when we have our own engineers to place. You have leave to re-join your people.”

The crew’s murmured disapproval rippled through the CIC.

“Admiral,” disputed Adams. “Clay’Gerrel has a lot to offer us. He provides a unique knowledge-“

“Are you saying we don’t have talented people, Engineer Adams?”

Joker shook his head bitterly. The admiral had clearly had time to commit their names and files to memory.

“No, Sir, but-“

“My decision is final.” Ignoring Adams as the engineer went to Clay, who looked a little lost at the sudden displacement, Mikhailovich spoke to the whole crew. “I want full reports on all ship systems by the end of shift. We’ll be departing to join my fleet in an hour.”

Edi instantly stepped forward. “Done. I will transfer the information to a datapad for your perusal.”

Mikhailovich gave her a suspicious look that pissed Joker off even more. “Not necessary. It’s a task I set for the crew.”

“Hey, she _is_ part of the crew, just like Clay,” argued Joker, the rest of the crew nodding in agreement. “Not to mention that it would be totally inefficient to dismiss her report when it will take _us_ hours just to tell you the same damn things.”

An accusing finger was raised towards Joker. “You had your warning, Moreau. You’re out. Flight Commander Cortez, you’ve got the helm.”

“No, Sir.”

Mikhailovich was so shocked by Steve’s refusal, Joker was sure the admiral’s eyeballs were about to pop out. “It’s okay, Cortez,” assured Joker. The last thing he wanted was his friend to get in trouble on his behalf, even if the thought of losing the ship was difficult to swallow.

“It’s not okay,” stated Cortez, moving to stand beside him. “Admiral, you’re making a mistake. There’s no better pilot than Joker.”

“He’s one of many, Commander, and you will fall in line or-“

“Or be removed. I get it.”

Those eyes squinted again. “Seems respect is not a trait Admiral Shepard demands from her personnel.”

“Respect is earned here,” Joker grumbled.

“My rank tells you I _have_ earned it,” retorted Mikhailovich, his affront evident. “Get of my ship.”

That rankled Joker beyond measure. “Normandy will _never_ be your ship. But while you’re working that out, I’ll be glad to go.” He started out, Clay following dejectedly, and nausea rose at how bad things had gotten in such a short amount of time. He could still feel the remnants of that anticipation he’d felt on their maiden voyage, just a couple of days ago. How the hell had it come to this?

The walk up the corridor to the airlock was excruciating; his beloved cockpit getting tantalisingly nearer with each step. But it may as well have been an illusion, because his path would only take him further away.

With one last look at the seat he should be in, Joker then turned to face the exit.

“Where do you think you’re all going? Get to your stations!” Mikhailovich’s angry voice drew Joker’s attention, and he was surprised to see Cortez heading the rest of the crew as they walked up the corridor towards him.

“See how well Normandy flies for you without its engineers,” called out a scowling Adams over his shoulder.

“Or without her advanced sensors,” said Edi.

“Or a pilot,” added Cortez, grinning back at Joker.

“I will see to it each and every one of you will be facing a court-marshal for this!” railed the admiral. “This is desertion!”

Only Chakwas stopped to turn to Mikhailovich. “This is a crew standing up for what is right, and standing together. _That_ is what Admiral Shepard would demand from us.”

Joker was impressed by the doc. “Actually, she’ll probably be completely mortified by what we’re doing.”

“Walk out, Jeff.”

By the time they were all standing in the docking bay, looking at Normandy from the outside, there was a solemn atmosphere.

“Anyone else feel like they’ve just cut off their noses to spite their face?” Joker grimaced.

“Stand strong, Jeff,” said Chakwas, her hand gripping his shoulder as they looked out. “Have faith in Shepard. We’ll call Hackett, find out what’s going on with our captain, and get this sorted out.”

With a nod, Joker gave one last look at his ship. Without Shepard it was just an empty vessel, and he took heart in the thought of Mikhailovich all alone in there. Then the lights went out on the ship and Joker chuckled over at Edi, adjusting the image – all alone, in the dark.

-o-O-o-

Detective Riker Tavitus had the potential to go far. After Garrus had been allowed to call his father - who had promised to get there as soon as he could get a flight to the Citadel - the detective had promptly announced he was retiring for the night, leaving Garrus in a cell, unable to sleep as he stewed over who could have framed him, with no information to form a viable conclusion from.

In the early morning, a refreshed Tavitus had transferred Garrus to the interrogation room to begin his questioning.

A table between him and Tavitus, and with his wrists still cuffed behind him and attached to his chair, Garrus been sat here for five hours now, and was tired and pissed as hell.

It was obvious why the turian had excelled so quickly; few could withstand such an incessant barrage for long. Not that Garrus was intimidated by it, and that meant the young detective was equally as annoyed by the unyielding stare Garrus sent him back. Yet still Tavitus had that dogged look – a look Garrus recognised well from his battles with his father, and he was sure some would say in his own face, too.

“Look, Tavitus,” Garrus sighed, reclining casually in his seat. “We can do this all day, but nothing’s going to change. I won’t admit to something I didn’t do.”

“The evidence-“

“Is bogus.” Garrus leaned forward again, bringing his face closer to Tavitus’. “Someone’s setting me up. You need to look closer at the ‘evidence’.”

“It says _you_ opened that account – an account that received the credits missing from C-Sec raids.”

“I said: look closer,” asserted Garrus. “Someone’s gone to a lot of trouble. Get a tech team to take that data apart.”

It was Tavitus’ turn to lean back with a sigh. “Because someone’s setting you up.” He tilted his head as he studied Garrus. “I get why you could be a target, Vakarian,” he conceded. “But the problem is, you’re not the only one caught red-handed. We have Armando Bailey and Kolyat Krios in custody, too.”

“Bailey and Krios!?” Garrus’ words came out on the wave of an incredulous laugh. “That’s absurd!”

“Is it? There are quite a few notations in Bailey’s file that suggest he’s not averse to breaking a few rules.”

“To get things done, but he isn’t a man who puts _himself_ above the law,” disputed Garrus, wondering how Bailey and Krios could fit into all this.

“And Krios somehow managed to avoid an attempted murder charge several years back. Instead, he became part of C-Sec.”

When it was put like that, Garrus could understand the detective’s suspicions, and he ran a hand over the plates of his forehead. They were all in deep shit.

“I think you agree, that doesn’t sound like someone who’d be too concerned with the morality of pilfering credits seized during raids,” continued Tavitus.

“Krios may have had a bad introduction to C-Sec, but joining our ranks set him on a path he hasn’t strayed from. He’s a good kid,” Garrus insisted.

“With a family. A family who live in a nice apartment in a more affluent part of the wards. Wish I could afford that on my salary…but I can’t.” Tavitus folded his arms across his chest, almost smugly.

“It’s paid for by his inheritance from his deceased father,” countered Garrus, seeing where Tavitus was trying to take it.

“His father… Thane Krios. Which means that inheritance was funded by crime. Not to mention that when Kolyat was arrested back then, that _notorious_ assassin walked right into a cell to talk to his son and was allowed to walk right back out again - all while under Bailey’s watch, I understand.”

“Thane Krios was working with Shepard.”

“That’s the trouble with Spectres: laws don’t concern them,” sniffed Tavitus, and Garrus shook his head at the young turian who sounded too much like Garrus’ own father once had – before he’d been enlightened by the reality of Shepard.

“Thane Krios redeemed himself by saving the Council,” argued Garrus, choosing not to be drawn into a debate over Shepard with this ignorant little up-start. “He died doing it, in fact. But that’s besides the point. Kolyat is not the same man as his father.”

Tavitus rose, circling the table and Garrus with his hands clasped behind his back. “And then there’s you. Like Bailey, you have quite the addendum added to your file. You butted heads with the previous Executor often over your methods, and then you left, followed by the incident that ended with Bailey killing him. Now _you’re_ back in C-Sec and sitting in the Executors chair. It’s all very cosy.”

Garrus could only laugh dryly at that, not bothering to try to keep eyes on the man as he circled; he knew the trick to disorient the prisoner, and he sure as hell wasn’t falling for it. Instead, he picked a spot on the table to stare at, reclined again, and crossed his arms. “Oh, so now we all colluded to get me placed as Executor? Wow, Tavitus. That is some conspiracy theory you’ve devised there, I’ll give you that. You know, it stuns me that you can come up with all that crap, and yet you struggle to conceive the concept that someone’s setting us up.” Now he zeroed in on Tavitus, ready to read his reaction. “Now that either means you’re a part of all this, or you’ve gotten this far in life through pure dumb luck, because it sure isn’t down to your brains.”

Tavitus stopped, clearly insulted, and Garrus nodded to himself. A guilty man would have remained unaffected, perhaps an air of superiority coming through in the returned gaze. Garrus didn’t take kindly to those willing to bury their comrades for their own gain. Sidonis had paid the ultimate price for his betrayal, and Garrus would have made sure Tavitus knew he’d crossed a line that Garrus Vakarian didn’t tolerate. But Tavitus was being played, and that was a relief to Garrus; there were enough vipers out there without having them permeating C-Sec.

“Look at the evidence again,” he muttered, low and commanding.

The problem was, Tavitus was a young and successful turian, and with that came what humans called a ‘God complex’: nothing bad could happen to them and being wrong was inconceivable, because they were in their prime and therefore they reasoned their reactions were faster, thoughts were sharper - they were unbeatable. It’s why so many died or rotted away in prisons for being used as tools for those far less scrupulous, older and wiser. So when Tavitus straightened and sat slowly back down, Garrus knew the boy was believing all the hype that had accompanied him to the Citadel. A dangerous notion to think you were among the best – not when you’d barely lived. The rest of the galaxy was nothing like Parnack, and so Tavitus had an awakening coming. Garrus preferred it happen sooner rather than later.

“What would anyone gain from setting the three of you up?”

“Now _that_ is an excellent question.” Garrus considered the possible answers, but it was impossible without more information.

“Something the three of you have in common? Asides from your work?”

Despite the fact Garrus knew Tavitus was merely indulging him, the comment dug in. There was only one link that pulled himself, Bailey and Kolyat together asides from C-Sec. “Shepard.” His insides clenched, and he stared at Tavitus in a way that had the young detective tensing. “You arrested me before I got to her apartment….”

“And? Unless Bailey and Krios were on their way there too, I don’t see the connection. How do their arrests affect anything?”

A nagging worm crawled in Garrus’ gut, his pulse thumping a little harder. “You think Bailey wouldn’t be the first to know when you arrested me? He’d have been in here straight away, and we’d have got to this same conclusion within five minutes of me being in that cell. He and Krios would be the _only_ ones in C-sec to stand up and question all this bullshit, and they would have been out that door in an instant. You’ve got to go check Shepard’s alright. Now!” Even as he said it, Garrus had a horrible feeling it was too late.

Tavitus rose, but it wasn’t hurried, and there was a ghost of a smirk. “You want me to go and bother Admiral Shepard, who’ll ask why I’m there, and then send _Spectre_ Alenko to get you out of here. No way, Vakarian. You nearly had me there. Just realised you should have used your one call to contact a Spectre instead of your father?”

Garrus was feeling really agitated now. “Damn it, listen to me! Something’s wrong here! Someone wanted you to take me out of the picture. Alenko was out last night. Shepard would have been alone. Send someone to her apartment! Or call Alenko! Check he’s there!” He strained against the cuffs, willing Tavitus to see into him; to see only the truth was written in his face. But it wasn’t registering. Inexperience was staring back at him, naïve and arrogant.

“I’m getting some lunch. You should try getting some shut-eye, Vakarian. You look beat. We’ll be picking this up again when I’m done.”

“Tavitus! You have to send someone to check on Shepard! Please!” Garrus didn’t care that he was reduced to pleading, only that Tavitus was still walking away. “Ask yourself how you got onto our supposed crimes! I’m betting you got some anonymous tip-off. Right?” The turian’s hesitation in the doorway was the affirmation. “Shepard could need help! Don’t let your pride put her at risk!”

Tavitus didn’t even turn. “She’s a former Spectre. You can’t tell me she couldn’t handle anyone at her door, because I’m not buying it.”

Then the door was closing, leaving Garrus alone in the room, frantic and absolutely damned useless. Yes, Shepard could look after herself better than most, but there were always times when even the best needs someone to watch their backs. She’d had her weapon removed; she had her son to protect; and that apartment – how many times had he thought how indefensible it would be? Maybe he was wrong and Shepard was absolutely fine. Spirits, he hoped so. But after the last few years, he’d learned to act on the safe side rather than have regrets later.

Growling with an intense fear and frustration, Garrus could feel a fury erupting from within him at the impotence imposed upon him. The table was the target, not that his enraged kicks did much harm to the reinforced metal that was secured to the ground. But it was his outlet, and when he was spent, he rested his forehead on the cool surface, his fast breath heating the surface.

His only hope was that his father would get here soon.

-o-O-o-

Hackett strode purposefully through the halls of Arcturus, acknowledging no-one as he passed by them on his way to his office.

He’d just come from a meeting with Command where they’d delivered the news that in the early hours eight asari space stations had been decimated, and with them their newest fleets. Evidence collected by the asari pointed to the detonation of bombs. It was a surprising and crippling attack against allies that had no known enemies, except perhaps the batarians, but they were so few since the Reapers tore through them it was hard to contemplate them being able to make a move like that – and Hackett had said so to Command. Except then they’d added that the asari had been quick to assess the data streams that were automatically and continuously transmitted back to the home-world; data that suggested before each and every one of the explosions, _Alliance_ ships had docked and left.

That had left Hackett stunned.

Understandably, the asari were now asking serious questions, and Alliance Command were scrambling for a defence. They worried about a rogue element within their ranks, and as the Admiral in charge of those ships, Hackett was expected to provide answers, and quickly.

As soon as he’d seen the ship names, he knew instantly what linked them _._

Saying nothing to the men and women sitting in their pristine uniforms behind the long, polished desk, with their thoughts only on swiftly smoothing relations with their allies, Hackett had assured them he’d investigate and get back to them forthwith.

Entering his private work space, Hackett sealed the doors, dropped the datapad with its damning contents onto his desk and opened his omnitool. He’d missed several calls from Karin Chakwas but he didn’t have time to call her back now. Something big was going down.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan groaned as consciousness delivered him a hammering head. Light streamed in through a gap in the shades, and he winced as it near-blinded him. Then, as the fog of sleep cleared from his mind, confusion replaced it. There were no windows in his bedroom. Nothing smelled or felt familiar either, and he jerked up, ignoring his protesting head.

He was in a hotel room, and he tried to think back on the night’s events – to work out how the hell he came to be here. The last disjointed memory he had was of stumbling through the wards with Rissa on the way to her…hotel room.

An unsettled feeling formed in his stomach as he looked down at his naked form, only a thin sheet covering him from the waist down. Around the bed his clothes were discarded without care on the floor. _Only_ his, he noted with relief.

He looked slowly to the space beside him. Empty but dishevelled. Kaidan’s insides squirmed as he reached out to a datapad left on the pillow, and when it was in his grasp he hesitated, his muscles tensing as he activated it.

**Kaidan,**

**Had some errands to run, and I didn’t want to wake you. You look so good sleeping there.**

**Not sure you’ll be hanging around, so I’ll say thank you now for a wonderfully unforgettable and extremely satisfying night – one I’d long ago given up hope of having with you. You were completely worth the wait.**

**I’d very much like to hook up with you again. I’m here for another two days, so call me if you can get away. If not, then I’ll look you up next time I’m on the Citadel.**

**Rissa x**

Dropping the datapad like it was radioactive, Kaidan launched himself out of the bed, and started shoving on his clothes, his skin crawling at what those words had screamed at him.

He’d cheated on Terra….

Kaidan got as far as belting up before his stomach warned him that he needed to get to the bathroom.

There was little for his body to purge, and after the initial bout he was reduced to dry-heaving into the toilet bowl. When his body had stopped reacting to his own infidelity, Kaidan stumbled upright, and rinsed his mouth out with water, unable to look at himself in the mirror.

He had to get out of here. Quickly returning to the bedroom, Kaidan focused only on the floor. Grabbing up his t-shirt, he paled as he saw it had been ripped from neck to hem. He was about to discard it, but the thought of leaving anything of his here.... Screwing it up, Kaidan shoved it into his pocket before reaching for his jacket, while he planted his feet in his boots, and his fingers shook as they fastened everything.

He had to get home. To his wife. Guilt jabbed its elbow hard into his stomach. He’d broken the trust of the only woman that mattered to him. Being out of his head and unable to remember any of it was no excuse, and he couldn’t see how Terra could ever forgive him this. Damn it! She didn’t need this on top of everything else! But he wouldn’t lie to her….

Emerging out onto the ward, Kaidan halted. Everything was unexpectedly bright and noisy for what he’d assumed was morning, and it seemed to press down on him. The thrum of people made Kaidan realise he had no idea what time it actually was.

Checking his omnitool, Kaidan was appalled to see it was midday. Terra would have gone to bed last night assuming he’d crawl in at some point, and would have certainly expected to wake with him beside her this morning. She’d be worried about him, searching for him, and he didn’t deserve her thoughts or her energy. Kaidan noticed there _were_ a lot of notifications of missed calls on his omnitool, but they were nearly all from Joker, the others from media groups. There was nothing from Terra at all, and he found that very troubling.

Kaidan swiftly but self-consciously merged into the flow of pedestrians. It felt like everyone he passed was staring at him, accusingly, and he kept his head and eyes lowered as he hustled through the wards, feeling like scum. At the first opportunity, he ditched the torn t-shirt into a garbage bin, eager to be rid of it.

His omnitool’s vibration had Kaidan staring at it in fear. He found no relief that it was Terra’s father, but he picked a quiet spot to stop, needing to swallow back the bile before he could answer it.

“ _Kaidan. You’ve got a problem_.”

‘Problem’ didn’t begin to describe it, but then it wasn’t what Hackett was referring to.

“ _Overnight, eight asari space stations were destroyed by acts of terrorism, and Alliance ships were at each location just beforehand; ships I can’t make contact with. Needless to say, the asari are looking at the obvious answer_.”

“Damn….” Kaidan struggled to switch focus from his collapsing personal life to the apparent crumbling of the galaxy. He shook his sore head, cursing the sluggish way his thoughts were forming. “Then we’re being framed somehow. Someone’s making it look like the Alliance are trying to undermine our allies.”

“ _Give us an internal battle to fight, yes. But I think whoever’s behind it is also looking to frame_ you _, specifically_.”

“What?”

“ _There’s no reason for our ships to have been at those stations. I believe they’ve been taken out of their crews’ hands. For that to happen without so much as a single mayday that they were under attack, it would have to have been an inside job. Taken unawares a crew could probably be brought down by a small group_.”

It was a shocking thought, but Kaidan knew it was right. “Take control of the bridge first and you can cut communications. Do it quietly, and no-one would know what’s happening on board until they were at the receiving end of a bullet.”

“ _Exactly_.” Hackett paused, and Kaidan worried what was coming next. “ _Kaidan, every single one of those ships were carrying your Biotic Ops Squads_.”

Hackett may as well have kicked Kaidan in the stomach. “No. No, that’s not possible. I know those men and women. They’re good people.” Then he sighed. It was a stupid response borne from shock; you could never know what goes on in other people’s heads. “Even if there were a few bad eggs, there’s no way they could all be in on something like that!”

“ _You’re preaching to the choir, Kaidan. Suddenly, those strange attacks on our colonies make a lot more sense_.”

Kaidan inhaled sharply. He’d forgotten all about his squads last assignments, and as he thought about it, a new sorrow took shape to accompany the one that had formed upon his waking. “You think my squads didn’t make it back, after all.”

“ _No, I don’t. I think they were ambushed, and whoever is behind it_ only _wanted your squads. We’ll know for certain when we go back and look for any bodies_.”

Eight squads of talented, brave young people, dead. Kaidan sat heavily down on a nearby bench, his forehead resting in his palms, elbows digging into the flesh above his knees. How the hell had this happened? The reports he’d received were sent by his squads’ murderers, and he’d accepted it without question because he’d been too distracted.

“ _So far, Command have no idea about your link to this, but I can’t withhold it for long. When they see this, they’re going to say the same thing you did: that eight squads aren’t likely to_ all _go rogue_.”

The shit-storm headed his way suddenly came into view, and Kaidan leaned back wearily, looking out at normal people going about their normal lives. It wasn’t the first time he envied them. “Unless they were acting on orders from their superior,” he said on a sigh.

“ _Yes. Whether they’ll truly believe it or not, Command will offer up any scapegoat they can get to keep in good with our allies, and are certain to bring it to the Council’s attention. Considering how they chose to deal with Terra, I’m guessing they’ll be just as quick to cut_ you _loose. Once that happens there’s nothing to stop you being interrogated by Internal Affairs for God knows how long, and we can’t risk that. With Terra out of the game, we need you out there, preferably on the Normandy, and only a Spectre will have the authority to take it out of Mikhailovich’s hands_.”

Another bombshell. Terra’s ship and crew had been given to another captain. If there were anything that could have exemplified just how fucked up things were right now, it was the Normandy without Terra. He could only imagine how she was taking it, and he hated himself even more for not being with her.

Standing up, Kaidan resumed a fast pace through the throngs.

“ _We need to give them proof someone else is involved with this, and fast. How, I don’t know just yet, but I’m thinking it might be a good time to bring in Dr T’Soni_.”

“Yeah.” The weight of it all was crushing him, and Kaidan fought to keep putting one foot in front of the other. “And we need to reclaim the bodies of my men and women. Get them officially identified and cleared of wrong-doing.”

Mistakenly, Kaidan thought things couldn’t get worse, but his ears caught the words from a newscast screen he was passing by, and he came to a stand-still.

“… _these images caught by a member of the public last night of the Spectre, General Alenko, in an alleyway with an unknown female. So far, neither General Alenko, nor Admiral Shepard, have been available for comment_.”

In horror, Kaidan moved to stare at the recording that was played. It was cast in dark shadow, but there was no disputing it was him, pressing Rissa into the wall of an alleyway, and…. Kaidan almost broke down at the sight of himself kissing her almost savagely, her shirt open and exposing her chest, his hand down her unbuttoned pants. Then she seemed to notice the attention from the person filming them, and dragged them both out of view.

Kaidan braced himself against the sturdiness of the wall. He’d never despised himself more than in that moment, and he battled not to heave again.

“ _Kaidan_?”

Hackett’s voice cut through the haze of self-loathing, making Kaidan right himself with a start. A new fear ratcheted up his heartbeat to a painfully fast thudding. Was this why Terra hadn’t attempted to call him? Did she already know!? “I- I have to go. I’ll get back to you.” Then Kaidan was running, pushing himself until he could feel the strain on his chest as his lungs begged for fresh air to replace what he’d been holding all the way to the cabs. Shoving someone rudely out of the way as they attempted to get into the sky-car, Kaidan jumped in, ignoring the protest, and gunned it to its limit through restricted areas, breaking laws he didn’t give a shit about.

When he got to the apartment, he didn’t brake until the last second, causing those waiting for a cab to scatter aside in case it ran into them. Flinging himself out and onto the Strip, Kaidan rushed up to their apartment, wondering what the hell he could possibly say to her. The thought of her actually seeing the newscast…. He shuddered. When he got to the door he had to stop to catch his breath. As soon as he stepped through this door, everything was going to change for the worse.

Hitting the door release, Kaidan was stunned to see three C-Sec officers standing in his apartment – an asari and two turians - one of whom was holding Nate.

“General. Officer Kildari,” introduced the asari officer.

“What’s going on?” Kaidan immediately crossed to take his son out of this stranger’s hands, cradling him close as Nate smiled at him through red-rimmed eyes that revealed he’d been crying.

“Sir, we were called here after we received an alert from a concerned member of the public over a possible case of child abandonment.”

“What!? That’s ridiculous! Where’s Shepard?” Kaidan’s visual search confirmed she wasn’t in the vicinity.

“She’s not here, Sir. Nor was she when we arrived.”

Kaidan’s mouth fell open as he stared back them all. Three sets of eyes reflected their judgement of Terra. “She wouldn’t willingly leave our son. Ever.”

“With respect, Sir, we understand Admiral Shepard has had some…private issues recently.”

“She would _never_ leave him alone,” Kaidan bit back, his jaw achingly tense.

The asari officer traded a subtle look with her colleagues and took a deep breath before indicating towards the rear lounge. “And then there’s this.”

She led the way and gestured towards the large screen. Beyond the smashed veneer where something had been thrown hard at it, was the frozen, shameful image from the newscast which had mortified Kaidan earlier. His face blazed with heat, a burning bile rising into his throat. He felt the officers eyes boring into the back of his skull, but their opinions didn’t matter to him. Terra had seen this.

“It’s clear she was very upset by it, Sir.”

Kaidan shook his head, his stomach roiling. He would never believe she could leave Nate alone. “Something’s wrong. Get me your Executor.”

They all looked at each other again, but before the asari officer could respond, all three of them touched their ear-pieces and turned away to listen. Kaidan took the opportunity to check Nate over. He was freshly changed, and from his contentedness, he didn’t appear at all hungry. Where the hell was Terra?

“Sir.” The asari officer regained his attention with the urgency in her tone, and she walked past him towards the screen. “We’ve had an alert out for your wife but it seems the media have found her first.” She changed the screen, thankfully removing that awful image of Kaidan with Rissa, only to play the latest news streaming live.

There was Terra, locked in angry exchange with none other than Rissa. She suddenly shoved Rissa hard enough to slam her into a wall, leaving her dazed. While the reporter was smirking through her commentary like it was some kind of televised match, Terra grabbed Rissa’s collar and hauled her into a corridor out of sight.

“ _Well, there you go, folks. Don’t get on the wrong side of a former-Spectre_ ,” laughed the reporter.

Suddenly a shot rang out, and the reporter’s smirk was replaced with a wide-eyed look. Kaidan watched it all in shock. That couldn’t be Terra – she didn’t have a gun. C-Sec officers were running, guns drawn, into the corridor, and Kaidan could hear their shouts for someone to get down on the ground.

Hardly daring to breathe, Kaidan waited along with the reporter and everyone else who had been rubber-necking at the scene.

The first officer emerged, and behind him was Terra, cuffed and covered in blood, surrounded by two other officers. That’s when Kaidan almost forgot how to breathe. Her eyes were empty of life.

She couldn’t have…. Then medics were running into the corridor, and Kaidan was rooted to that spot, waiting. When they wheeled out Rissa on the stretcher, she was completely covered in a sheet, the blood seeping through the pristine white fabric right where her forehead was.

Terra had killed her…. Had he not seen it with his own eyes, Kaidan would have refuted the possibility until his dying breath, and he hugged Nate in shock. Even under the circumstances, he never imagined Terra could abandon their son to go hunt Rissa down.

The camera zoomed back to Terra as she was led away.

For a moment, his beautiful wife was looking back at him through the screen… but she was like a stranger to him.

**-o-O-o-**


	10. Chapter 10

Jack stalked from the Alliance carrier’s Mess with a plate of food piled up for Rorie. Her jaw was tight, her grip on the plate was a vice, and inside she was angry…and scared. What she’d seen on those newsvids was totally fucked up. How dare Alenko hurt Shepard like that…. What the hell was happening?

Jack had quickly decided to keep Rorie separated from the other students, with their thoughtless and naive comments thrown out into the air with the potential to turn into harmful shrapnel. Jack couldn’t risk Rorie hearing about it.

Luckily, a ship had been orbiting the academy in preparation to take some of the older, more accomplished biotic students to the Citadel for a closed session at the Armax Arena as a reward, and Kahlee had agreed to allow her to take Rorie and catch a ride. Not that Jack would have taken no as an answer anyway.

So here they were, an hour out from the Citadel. Jack still had no idea if it was the right thing to do, but it had been her first instinct: to take Rorie back to… what? A broken home?

A fresh streak of fear ran through her. It was stoked by a feeling of utter vulnerability. If Alenko could tear apart what he had with Shepard…. If the Queen of the Girl Scouts could be so fucked up to go and murder someone…. Fuck! What chance did a messed up bitch like herself have? It was freaking her out. She’d opened herself up, too. To James….

The door opened to the small room she’d sequestered – another attempt to keep Rorie away from the gossip that was as rife on board as it was within the academy halls. Only the room was empty.

Cursing, Jack quickly dumped the plate and began hurriedly traipsing through the ship looking for a certain little girl who had a knack for disappearing wherever her big honey eyes roamed. Jack had an idea Rorie would be wherever the students were.

Except she wasn’t with the bulk of students who had chosen to hang out in the large communal area. There were a few reluctantly mumbled comments that they’d seen her with some students who had gone down to the bowels of the ship to explore – somewhere they weren’t permitted to go - and Jack was certain they sure as hell weren’t ‘exploring’.

Below engineering, voices trickled down the corridor, and Jack slowed to listen.

“Come on, runt. Show me what you’ve got.”

That was Lowell. Not a fan of Rorie purely because he’d thought he was the best biotic student within the academy, and had never failed to point it out to the others, only to have his nose severely put out of joint when the five year old arrived and outshone him in every way. This was one student Jack couldn’t find any affinity for. He had the same belligerent attitude she once had (okay some would say still had), only he came from a wealthy family, all of whom had survived the Reapers. He hadn’t known hardship or loss, and from what she’d been able to ascertain, he was well-treated, if not spoilt.

“Leave her alone, Lowell,” argued another student.

“Shut up, Carmichael. Speak again and I’ll make _you_ the target dummy. Your choice. That goes for the rest of you, too.” Lowell’s voice was nasty, and there weren’t many students who didn’t back off when he used it.

Jack caught the glow of biotics emanating from around the corner, and she tensed. But Jack wasn’t about to go racing round. She was interested in what Rorie would do. Jack distinctly remembered a similar thing happening to her in the Teltin facility around the same age, and she’d slammed the older boy into the wall as a result. He’d left her alone when he’d finally gotten out of the infirmary. But Rorie had been raised with love, and there was a part of Jack that wanted to know what difference that made.

“So, Alenko?”

Jack could picture Rorie standing there in her specially-tailored uniform, the soft toy varren in her clasp, the cap Joker had given her on her head, and a bulge in her pocket from her small VI, Moon.

“No, thank you.”

Jack almost burst out laughing at the sweet, nonchalant voice that wasn’t the least bit intimidated by Lowell. Unlike messed up young Jack who’d been programmed to attack, Rorie was walking away.

“What?” Lowell actually sounded taken aback, used to creating fear. “It wasn’t a request. Do it. Show me what you’ve got. Or can’t you hack it, _baby_?”

“I can hack some things. Like doors,” enlightened Rorie, in her misunderstanding. “Uncle Gus taught me. But only if I can find something to stand on to reach the panel.”

Jack caught her snigger in her hand, and there were muffled laughs from the other students.

“What are you talking about? You don’t even make sense,” said Lowell, and Jack could hear the sneer in his voice.

Then Rorie sighed loudly. “My tummy is talking because it’s hungry. I’m going to go feed it now.”

Lowell must have been left stunned, because Jack could hear from Rorie’s steps that she was nearly at the corner before he found his voice again.

“Hey! Little rat! Did you know your daddy’s been fu-“

“Lowell!” Jack yelled before he got any further, swinging round from where she’d propped herself against the wall and marching towards him. “Don’t you say a fucking thing, you little shit!”

Lowell struggled to keep the smirk he wore, trying to keep his cool in front of the others, but Jack stood toe to toe with him, daring him to say more. She didn’t care he was a kid. He intended to hurt Ror with something she didn’t need to know about - not from him, anyway – and Jack was fully prepared to knock him on his ass. Around them, the students were staring nervously, no-one having the guts to break the silence. Except Rorie.

“Auntie Jack! You said naughty words!”

Rorie’s cute voice admonishing Jack, softened the tension, and a few started to laugh quietly. With a final warning glare at a now-pale Lowell, Jack addressed them all. “I catch any of you down here again and you’ll be going straight back to Grissom.”

Waiting for Lowell and the others to slink away, Jack took Rorie’s hand and started to lead her back up. “You didn’t give in to him. Way to go, Ror.”

Rorie shrugged. “He thinks he’s scary, but he’s just mean. Bullies are boring.” Jack loved the way that was accompanied by an eye roll. “But _you_ were scary.” She giggled at Jack.

“Yeah, I could see you were trembling in your boots,” smirked Jack, sharing a conspiratorial look with the little girl. When they arrived at the next deck, reality came crashing back with the noise from chatting students, and Jack slowed Rorie to a stop before they got within ears reach, crouching in front of her. “Ror, I want you to know that no matter what, your parents love you very much.”

“I know,” she answered sweetly, like the very notion of it being any other way was inconceivable. “So do you.”

Shit, this kid near-damned owned her heart. “Yeah, I do. And you mustn’t listen to any crap people might say about them. Not even if it’s on the vid-screen.”

“Gandpa Hackett said that too, so it must be very ‘portant,” Rorie said, earnestly.

“It is.” Jack hugged her then, because she, the ‘psychotic biotic’, needed it, and this innocent, beautiful soul never failed to reciprocate. “Now, let’s get you some lunch,” said Jack, releasing her.

Leading her through the scattered groups of students, Jack almost wished the journey wouldn’t end, because she dreaded what awaited them at their destination.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan was getting angrier by the second as he paced the Council Chambers, waiting to be granted an audience. Apparently, they were in deep discussions and couldn’t be disturbed, and the logical part of Kaidan said it was understandable given the asari attacks on top of the salarian/krogan issue. But that wasn’t the part of him that was ruling. He’d been here for four hours already - his stomach growling and cramping in warning that it hadn’t been fed since the evening before - and that unoccupied time had let his thoughts run riot which their shouts of self-accusation, and a continual, dizzying list of problems that just seemed to keep piling up.

Garrus, Bailey and Kolyat had been arrested on some false charge. Another thing for him to deal with, on top of his dead men, a set-up, and the deterioration of the woman he loved, which he’d exacerbated to a shocking degree through his own infidelity. Shit, he hadn’t even showered since…. He felt dirty in a way no amount of water would wash clean.

Everything was a mess. He’d arrived at C-Sec at the same time as many of Terra’s crew, most of them hiding their judgement, except for Joker. Chakwas had wanted to be allowed to see Terra as her doctor, concerned over her mental health, but she’d been promptly reminded that Dr T’Esana was her attending physician now, and the asari doctor had been notified. Kaidan had been about to use his Spectre status to change that, but he’d been thwarted. The Council had given the lead detective, Tavitus, official permission to keep Terra and the others detained for as long as he deemed necessary, as well as full autonomy over their cases. It was a power Tavitus was utilising.

_“I want to see my wife. And this evidence you have against your colleagues.”_

_“Then you’ll need to get Council permission, because_ _I’m not about to hand over my evidence to a well-connected friend of those in my custody.’_ It was delivered by the turian in a way that suggested he wasn’t a fan of Spectres. _“As for your wife, I’m not permitting her visitors until I have her statement, and unfortunately she’s chosen the silent route. Considering her reaction to the news this morning, I’d imagine you wouldn’t be too welcome, anyway. That was a rather salacious headline we all woke up to.”_

Kaidan’s teeth clenched together at the memory. He couldn’t over-rule the _Council’s_ order - not without consequences - and Tavitus had known it. There was a simmering anger jostling with the biotics beneath his skin. He wasn’t used to walls he couldn’t break through with the word ‘Spectre’, and for the first time in a long while he felt restricted when it mattered the most. It was Shepard and the SR-1 being sidelined when they needed to stop Saren on Ilos, all over again, and like Terra, he felt the need to punch something. The Council were keeping him from Terra.

An asari aide appeared, aiming towards him, and Kaidan halted, hopefully.

“Spectre Alenko.”

“Finally!” He knew his desperation was coming through.

“I’m sorry, General, the Council are still unavailable, but Councillor Osoba has requested I pass this to you.”

Taking the datapad, Kaidan bit back the urge to shout obscenities loud enough for the damned Council to hear. Instead, he gave an abrupt thanks to the aide who immediately left.

**Alenko,**

**I apologise for this. I can assure you there’s good reason we’re locked in session, but I also know it’s no consolation to you. As I’m unable to excuse myself from this meeting, I’ve assumed why you came. I’ve attached my personal authority for you to have full access to Shepard, though I hope you understand that I cannot go as far as permitting her release.**

**I will be in contact with you once we’ve concluded business here, but in the meantime, my thoughts are with you all at this difficult time.**

**Dominic Osoba**

Aware that he didn’t have any means to help Garrus, but that it would be pointless remaining, Kaidan started out of the chambers at speed.

-o-O-o-

Hackett sat in his office in silence.

It didn’t make sense. Hackett knew with an unshakeable certainty that Kaidan loved Terra with every cell in his body, and that Terra would never harm someone who wasn’t armed and dangerous, no matter her own feelings towards that person.

Everything was wrong, and as far as he was concerned, that was enough to question it all. There were clever players out there – that much he already knew – who were out to discredit Kaidan. Maybe this was another avenue to that attack. A more insidious one, but no less destructive. And if Kaidan was being manipulated and toyed with, than just maybe Terra was too….

He pondered that. Her sudden decline had taken them all by surprise. What if there was something behind that? Could someone have messed with her head somehow? Chakwas hadn’t found any substances in Terra’s body but that just meant that it wasn’t something they could detect. Of course, that didn’t explain the footage currently being broadcast.

Slumping back in his chair, Hackett couldn’t ignore the damned recordings. It contradicted everything. To make things worse, he couldn’t get rid of the image of Terra looking like an empty shell. It made him angry, and didn’t know if he had Kaidan to blame or someone else. With a sudden burst of anger, Hackett swept the mess of datapads off his desk, and they smacked into the wall before clattering to the ground. Staring at the mess he’d made, he waited for his racing pulse to abate.

There was a chime from his door, and he stood with an irritated sigh. Opening the door, he placed his whole body in the entrance so the ensign wouldn’t see the evidence of his loss of control, surprising the young man with his proximity. Recovering quickly, the ensign stepped back to a more respectful distance and saluted.

“Admiral Hackett, Sir. I’ve been tasked to bring you this.” The ensign handed him another bloody datapad. “And I’m to inform you that Internal Affairs have arrived and would like to meet with you.”

Damn. Hackett had known they’d show eventually, but he’d hoped for longer. “Show them to conference room six.”

“Yes, Sir.” With another salute the ensign strode purposefully away.

Re-sealing the door, Hackett studied what he’d been handed. It was from the asari investigators – a detailed report of the bombs used – and he wasn’t anticipating these results. Turian.

“Very clever.” Hackett decided that the turians were involved in this as much as the Alliance were – not at goddamned all. And there lied the ingeniousness. This would have all the races looking closely at each other, the first tendrils of distrust forming, ready to take root and spread.

Hackett crouched to collect up the datapads he’d abused, a couple of them now displaying cracked screens. Pulling out the one that contained his report on his ships involved in the asari station attacks, he dumped the rest on his desk.

What was in his hand was not only likely to be the first nail in the coffin for Kaidan, but could also have consequences for Hackett. He was too closely connected to Kaidan for Internal Affairs to ignore. He needed to prepare.

-o-O-o-

Eve stood beside Grunt as they looked out at the mass of clan Jorgal that had congregated a short distance from the borders of Urdnot’s territory. In response, their own warriors were armed and ready, though Eve had suggested they held back within the confines of their buildings. The atmosphere was thick with male hormones and their foolish desire to fight, and once the first shot had been taken, there would be no pulling them back.

This was a fight they did not need, else they’d only begin the process of wiping the krogan out for whomever wanted it so.

Yet Jorgal had yet to make a move, and Eve wondered why. It was a restraint she’d not expected from Thurak.

Then there was movement from Jorgal, and Grunt raised his fist in silent order to continue their hold. Their forces were parting for two krogan. Thurak and…. Eve couldn’t believe who she was seeing, and all around her she could hear the surprised murmurs of her clan. His face was badly scarred but his identity was indisputable.

The two approaching krogan stopped at the edge of Urdnot’s claim, but only one spoke.

“I am Wreav! Brood-brother of Wrex! You thought me dead, killed by Kalros herself! But here I stand! I survived Kalros!”

As her clan’s murmurs turned approving, Eve knew Urdnot was in trouble. The males only saw strength, but Eve saw more. Wreav would not have survived Kalros without significant injury, and he wore evidence of that upon his face. Clan Jorgal may have been closer to where he’d gone down than Urdnot, but a male as stubborn as Wreav would never have chosen to go to Jorgal no matter how close to death he was. It was likelier that Jorgal had found him and had seen an opportunity. Body weakened, even a strong mind like Wreav’s could break under prolonged pressure. Now here he was, and Eve knew that if Urdnot accepted him as their leader, their clan would fall.

“Wrex has knelt before the Council races! Our enemies think us submissive! I saw this as I watched over Urdnot from afar, and I could not stand by as Wrex continued on this path, destroying our culture in order to appease aliens who wait for us to weaken so they can wipe us out. So I return to Urdnot to offer to take my place as your leader! Or will you continue to cower before a female and a tank-bred?”

There was a rumble of growls that travelled through Urdnot.

“Clan Jorgal remember the way we were. They seek to return the krogan to the proud race we once were. A race that bowed to no-one. A race that was feared! A race that ripped our enemies to shreds! The salarians will find any excuse to finish what they started, and we must be ready for them! I say Urdnot should stand with Jorgal! And fight!”

The roars weren’t solely confined to Jorgal’s males, and even Grunt was gripping his weapon tighter as he nodded his head.

“But I do not expect you to follow me blindly, after I have spent so long apart from Urdnot,” continued Wreav. “Brothers, I will wait. Make your own decision. Our enemies will come. They will darken the skies. And then you will know Wrex was wrong to trust them. You will know _I_ am right. And I will be ready to lead you in our fight should you choose to follow me!”

That was a surprising move. One that suggested more thought than Eve was used to witnessing from their males. It would sway many of Urdnot far more than forcing himself into position.

Something would start to happen out there in the galaxy soon. Something that would provoke the salarians further and into action. They would declare the krogan hostile, and when that happened, Urdnot’s males would stand with Wreav without question.

Somehow, Eve had to stop that from happening.

-o-O-o-

The tension within Kaidan climbed the closer he got to the C-Sec office. Joker was still there, pacing in agitation, and he could hear Chakwas arguing with Dr T’Esana on her omnitool, demanding the asari prioritise Terra. He couldn’t believe T’Esana had yet to see to her. The others had drifted off, though Kaidan suspected they wouldn’t have gone far. Cortez had likely taken Nate back to the apartment after this long; he’d have needed changing and feeding.

Joker’s eyes lit with fury when they fixed on him. “Where the hell have you been!?”

“The Council wouldn’t break from their meeting to see me.”

“Then you should have beat down the damn door! You’re a Spectre, aren’t you?”

Kaidan let Joker rail.

“Damn it! Do something to fix this!”

Kolyat’s wife, still looking as stunned as when he’d seen her earlier sat at a detective’s desk, was now reaching out to him.

“Can you get them out now?”

Once again, Kaidan was hit with inability. “I’m sorry, Kalisa. But I’m not giving up.” Kaidan squeezed her hand where it gripped his arm, in an attempt to offer her comfort. “Go home. Get some rest, and try not to worry too much. I’ll get this sorted.”

With a shaky breath, Kalisa nodded her belief in him. “Yes…. I left Thian with a friend. I should- I should go get him.” She tried to smile before leaving. Watching her trudge out, Kaidan felt her desolation.

It was then that Garrus’ father came striding out of the cells, spotting Kaidan instantly, and making his way over.

“Teryck,” greeted Kaidan. “How’s Garrus?”

“Not good. Took me too damned long to get a flight here. He was practically frothing at the mouth by the time I got in there. The first thing he did was tell me to get to Shepard. He didn’t take it well when I told him she was in the cell opposite. I would suggest you don’t try speaking with him. He’s about ready to tear your throat out right now.”

Kaidan was too hung up on Teryck’s previous statement to linger on Garrus’ ire towards him. “Wait a minute. Why would he tell you to get to Shepard?”

“He was certain that his arrest stopped him from getting to Shepard last night, and Bailey and Kolyat’s arrests meant that no-one else in C-Sec would listen to what he’s saying and act on it. Now, with Shepard clearly safe, it puts us at square one as to why someone wants the three of them out of the way. What we need is to scrutinise that evidence.”

“And I still don’t have the Council’s okay to over-ride their earlier order,” sighed out Kaidan.

“Daddy!”

That voice speared Kaidan and warmed him at the same time, and he turned to Rorie as she raced across the ward at full speed towards him, with a scowling Jack trailing after her. Then Rorie was leaping and Kaidan caught her, appreciating the too-tight squeeze round his neck. “It’s a wonderful surprise to see you, honey, but what are you doing home already?”

“Auntie Jack said I had to come. But I can’t go with the others to the ‘rena because I’m too small.” That was accompanied by a deep frown, a pout, and the folded arms of petulance.

Kaidan glanced briefly at Jack, only to feel the dagger of her dark look, poised ready to strike with the promise of a lot of pain. He could deal with that. It was imagining the hurt in Terra’s eyes that tore at his heart, and he swallowed as he prepared himself to face it. “Never mind, honey. You’re growing all the time,” he assured his daughter. Rorie’s lovely smile returned and Kaidan worried what all this would do to her when that inquisitive mind began questioning. “I have to go talk to…someone, so I need you to wait here for me, okay?”

“’Kay.”

With relief that she hadn’t asked who, Kaidan placed her back on her feet.

“Alenko! Shepard still left your quad intact?” Wrex’s deep bellow made Kaidan wince.

“Should have known _you’d_ approve, Wrex,” moaned Joker, as the krogan and his entourage joined them.

Wrex waved it away. “Males sow their seed. It’s natural. You humans need to stop being so possessive over each other. What I have a problem with is what Shepard did. That wasn’t like her.” He looked around. “You’re a Spectre. So why’s she still in there?”

“The Council blocked me from interfering.”

“Damn Council,” growled Wrex. “Want me to go tear Shepard’s door down? Get her outta there?” His thick arm gestured towards the cells, and the officers guarding him tensed at the threat as the two salarians Kaidan now recognised, grinned.

“Uh, not necessary.”

“But he _can_ at least go talk to her now,” interrupted Joker, impatiently. “So let him go do it already.”

“But mommy’s not here.”

Everyone looked down at the little face staring up at them, and Kaidan’s felt a chill start to form as he squatted to look his daughter on her own level. “You don’t feel mommy?”

“Nuh uh.”

“That just means she’s closed herself off,” butted in Jack, in irritation, that accusing glare burrowing into Kaidan.

But he knew the connection formed by the spores didn’t work like that. Terra had explained it to him herself. She said as soon as she reached out she could feel Rorie’s mind, even when their daughter didn’t invite her in to see what was inside (because she was doing something naughty). Like being outside someone’s home when the lights were on; it was up to them if they let you in, but you know they’re there. And conversely, Terra always knew when Rorie was connecting. It was akin to a knock at the door. “Are you sure?”

Rorie paused, clearly focusing on that connection only she and her brother had with Terra. Then she shook her head. “Nate’s here. But mommy’s too far away,” said Rorie, with certainty.

“That’s not… That doesn’t make sense!” worried Joker. “Cortez took Nate back to your apartment. Shepard’s right in there!”

“What the hell’s going on?” said Jack, her quiet voice indicating how unnerved she was, and Kaidan understood that completely.

Straightening, Kaidan walked into C-Sec, handed the datapad to Tavitus before the turian could say a word, and demanded access to the cells, immediately. With Tavitus’ begrudging nod to the officer on duty, the human quickly released the doors that led to the cells. There were five on each side of the corridor.

“Admiral Shepard is in the far right,” said the officer.

The cell loomed with each step Kaidan took, but he now had a fear that went far beyond anything he’d had before. Garrus had been convinced Shepard was at risk last night, and Rorie was saying Terra wasn’t here….

Who was he going to see in that cell? And what did that mean for Terra?

**-o-O-o-**


	11. Chapter 11

Shepard’s head was cloudy as she emerged groggily into consciousness, her system still struggling against the sedative they’d given her since they’d gotten her on their ship, and had kept dosing her with every time she’d woke. As such, she remembered little: the feeling of cold metal beneath her cheek that vibrated – a ship in flight; scrape marks across the floor of the empty room where heavy things had been dragged – a cargo hold; a smirking batarian.

She lay on her side now, her wrists tied too tight behind her so her hands throbbed, and from the grey concrete-like floor and walls that surrounded her, Shepard ascertained she was no longer on a ship.

How long had she been out? Hours? Days? It was disorienting, and with no windows it was impossible to determine what time of day it was, let alone _where_ she was. She strained to hear something that might give her a clue, but asides from the low indecipherable murmurs of batarians talking, there was nothing. She knew what she was doing: focusing on anything except what might await her. It was preferable to letting her mind run through a slew of sickening possibilities.

Then came the sound of boots. Four, maybe five approaching, and Shepard tensed as they stopped outside the door. There was no need for so many when she was bound, and that meant something bad for her.

When the door slid open, three batarians stalked in and stood over her, while a fourth simply stepped in then moved to the side of the doorway. Their leader remained in the entrance, arms folded and staring back at her with undisguised hatred. Beyond him, all Shepard could see was more grey walls.

“Good. I didn’t want to start until I had your full attention.”

Not intimidated, Shepard opted to meet the lower pair of eyes, holding the gaze. “Who are you?”

He glared back a while longer. “I was Captain of the Batarian External Forces, before the Reapers decimated Khar’shan. Now I’m the highest ranking member of what little remains of our Hegemony. You thought you’d gotten away with murdering hundreds of thousands of my people, but _I_ have not forgot, and today we finally begin our reckoning.”

Even now, Shepard still felt that wrench in her gut at the thought of what she and Thane had been forced to do to stop the Reapers arrival. Forced. “You know why I had to do that. None of us would be here now if I hadn’t.”

The batarian slammed his fist into the door jamb in his rage. “I don’t believe you! How could six months have made that much difference? And the Reapers were defeated. My people would have had a fighting chance of surviving. I think you saw an opportunity while you flew under that terrorist banner, and you took it. You really expect me to believe it wasn’t payback for my attempt to destroy Terra Nova? An attempt foiled by the man _you_ bed?”

Shepard knew about the batarian plot to fly an asteroid into Terra Nova. Kaidan had spoken of it. It was a mission he and his first biotic squad had undertaken while she’d still been laid out on Cerberus’ lab table. This batarian was Balak.

Frustration and fury rushed forth like a dam released. This bastard had spat out the term ‘terrorist’ like he was something better. “No matter how you want to twist it, _everything_ I’ve done was through necessity. Tell me, what ‘greater good’ did you serve by ordering my baby son’s death?”

Suddenly, he was in her face, digging a hand into her hair and using it to yank her face up to his. “You killed mine! I have the _right_ to take yours! I detested you humans before – taking what was due to us, cosying up to the Council with your practiced diplomacy, joining in their protest of our culture – but now… now you’ve become vermin, spreading into every crevice. You sit on the Council and dictate, and all the while Admiral Shepard is lauded as a hero, while they ignore the blood on her hands. I. Want. Justice.”

Throughout the tirade, Shepard could see a crazed look to his eyes as they blazed at her. He was so filled with hate that it had driven him beyond reasoning. “And what’s your justice? You could have killed me back on the Citadel. You’ve gone to a lot of trouble.”

Releasing her, he visibly calmed himself, then went to lean casually against the wall beside his unmoving associate. “It’s true. We didn’t have the resources to get access to you. You were beyond our reach. Until someone offered me this chance for retribution. He gave me the means to do it, with one proviso: I just had to play his game first. Make Shepard appear unstable; tarnish her name with a murder charge; turn her into a wanted criminal. Oh, and play with Alenko at the same time. I’d have happily done more to teach him a lesson for getting in my way.”

The revelation that they’d framed her for someone’s murder was put to the bottom of her concerns as she worried about Kaidan. “What have you done to him?”

“Your question should be what’s he done to _you_? But you’ll see soon enough.”

Shepard didn’t understand what that meant but it filled her with unease, which was what he wanted, so she covered it with more questions. “Who exactly is behind all this?”

Balak shrugged. “Someone with plenty of credits and information to make him powerful. Beyond that, you don’t need to know.” With a jerk of his head, his men pushed her onto her front, one holding down her legs, another her torso, while the third removed something small and metallic from his pocket while releasing his blade from its holster at his hip.

Shepard had seen enough of the atrocities used by batarians slavers to know what was coming. It was a control device. It would attach itself to her nervous system, ready to deliver a crippling current throughout her body. Strangely, it was the fourth batarian stepping forward with his omnitool open, recording what was about to happen, that sent her a chilling streak through her.

Her head was forced face-down so her forehead was pressed into the hard floor, her hair yanked out of the way to expose her nape. Gritting her teeth as the blade sliced through skin and flesh, she didn’t make a sound. Then the cold metal of the device was pushed mercilessly into her wound, sending tears of agony into her eyes. There was a beep as it was activated, and the device sent numerous tiny jagged barbs deeper into her flesh where she could feel them seeking her neural pathways and latching on. She fought back her body’s attempt to heave, instead focusing on the feel of the blood flowing down and around her neck, and the warmth it brought to her skin before it dripped onto the floor.

Her wrists were then released from the cuffs and the weight lifted from her as the batarians stood and left, their job done. Only the one recording, and Balak remained, both confident enough in the device that they didn’t feel the need to arm themselves now she was unrestrained, and the door was wide open.

Balak just stood there, relaxed. “I’m going to break you.”

Shepard got to her feet, adopting a strong, proud military stance, knowing her defiance would earn her a ton of pain. “You can try.”

He just chuckled back, tapped his omnitool, and Shepard keeled over instantly as the current travelled through her with shocking intensity, messing with her equilibrium and causing her jaw to clench along with every other muscle in her body. It was unrelenting. Her lungs seized, her heart stuttered in her chest, unable to maintain a rhythm. And then it stopped, and she was left gasping and shivering as her body tried to recover from the shock.

“You will kneel before me and beg to serve.”

“Fuck you,” she exhaled, putting as much vehemence behind it as she could manage. As anticipated, it induced another wave of excruciating pain, but even as she was left to once again gasp life back into her tormented body, Shepard felt a familiar tingle at her nape. The spores. They lined her nervous system. Could they help against a physical invasion too? It was something to hope for.

“I’ve set it to frequent intervals. You will learn that I am your only means of relief. You’ll come to yearn my presence. You’ll beg for it. And you’ll do whatever I ask of you to keep me happy.”

“Keep dreaming.” She bit back the scream as she was subjected to another. He would not hear her pain. Again, when it finished, she was acutely aware of the spores reacting.

Balak crouched down to where she lay on the floor, her chest still heaving, and his mouth turned to a cruel twist. “My people are all but wiped out, and for those left, I will see them witness some justice before they join their dead families. I’m Ka’hairal Balak. But you will call me Master.”

They left as the next current took her, but this time, when it ceased, Shepard was certain it had been less intense. Only time would tell.

When sections of the walls slid away to reveal large vid-screens protected by clear barriers, Shepard prepared herself for some form of psychological assault to accompany the pain which wracked her every minute – footage of them torturing other humans maybe, to show her own fate.

What she could never have expected to see was a news broadcast of Kaidan so intimate with another woman. It dealt a heart-crushing pain that sliced through her more savagely than anything they had done to her so far, before her common sense regained control. If someone had told her he’d betrayed her, she would never believe them. Not Kaidan. Seeing this should have proven it, but she’d been at the end of these people’s tricks already. Nothing was as it seemed when they had a race that could look like anyone they chose. That wasn’t him.

Closing her eyes to refuse the horrid lie, she then had to endure the device’s punishment again, only to find that image of Kaidan lingered at the back of her mind when it ceased, like it had been seared there the moment she’d looked. She didn’t believe, but it wouldn’t leave her, and she could feel it tainting her regardless, as she worked to ready her already exhausted body for the next wave.

Anger flared. She wouldn’t let them poison her feelings for Kaidan. She wouldn’t go down without a fight.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan came to Garrus’ cell first, the viewing window revealing the turian pacing restlessly. Then Garrus spotted him, freezing in place as those sharp eyes pierced Kaidan with unquestionable antipathy. Awkward. It’s not like he could wave to the imprisoned turian. He could already imagine the responding gesture if he did. … Was Garrus even able to give him the finger?

Raking his hand over his head at the bizarre direction his thoughts had gone, Kaidan let his feet carry him on to the end, his gaze suddenly rooted to the next window, and his heart pounding.

And then he could see her.

Kaidan stopped dead, staring in at the beautiful woman inside who made his heart ache. She was sat on a mattress atop a pull-down platform that served as a bed, her back flush against the wall, her arms hugging her legs to her chest, and her cheek resting atop her knees. She looked as alone as Kaidan felt. Surely Rorie had gotten it wrong somehow. But his gut said no.

Steeling himself, Kaidan moved to the door, his hand hesitating only briefly over the door release before he pressed it. The doors slid open, and the first thing Kaidan noticed was the absence of that unique scent his wife possessed.

His throat was so dry he could barely swallow as he stepped in. Despite everything that was wrong here, he still saw _her_. “You’re not my wife.” The words came as though from a strangled man.

Her head jerked up, and she stared back at him like he was her salvation. It wasn’t a look Kaidan was expecting, and when she stood with her hand extending towards him, Kaidan took a cautious step back.

“I am sorry.” The voice was like a whisper, and then Terra’s face changed, her skin paling until it was almost white with its translucence, and her hair appearing to dissolve into nothing.

This being standing in Terra’s uniform wasn’t a race they’d ever encountered before, and Kaidan was left open-mouthed in astonishment. Only his concern for Terra brought back the anger. “What have you done with my wife?”

“I will show you.” The female offered her hand, and Kaidan stared between it and her face.

“They won’t let you walk out of here. You have to tell me.”

“Yes.” Again with the hand.

Without understanding what this woman was hoping to achieve, Kaidan slowly touched his fingers to her fused ones.

The second he felt her touch his mind, Kaidan snatched back his hand, breathing heavily from whatever the hell that was.

“I must go.” There was melody in the overly soft tone of this woman’s voice. “But I wait. For you. To show you.”

He sensed an intense desperation, but no malevolence. Was this race able to communicate like the protheans? If so, she was offering to give him some answers….

HIs body taut with unease, Kaidan placed his hand in hers.

 _She faces the door wearing the face of another, about to open it, but she really doesn’t want to. She’s touched this human’s mind; seen the person inside. It isn’t fair. But she_ has _to. The Master will hurt her children if she doesn’t. No choice!_

_The Master and his men are waiting. They hunt the human. Shepard. She’s winning. The Master won’t like that. He doesn’t like defiance. He will beat it away and threaten the young. And he does. The baby! Shepard surrenders. Protect the baby._

Kaidan could feel what…Zaliesh…felt as he saw it all through her eyes. What haunted him was Terra’s tortured face as they used Nate against her after she fought so hard to stop them - an impossible task in that environment. Then he had flashes of Terra’s broken face up close, before Zaliesh put her mind at ease over their son. When the batarians left with Terra, Zaliesh had run back up to Nate’s bedroom, retrieved him from the closet and returned him to the comfort of his cot. She’d cared for him until she’d had to go.

_She does as she was instructed. She watches the screen that plays images. She sees one of her kin posing as Shepard’s soulmate, involved in an act of intimacy with another. She’s looks away. It’s meant to hurt these people. Now she has to leave. She doesn’t want to. She has no choice._

There were more flashes of memory, joined with fear, as she traversed the strange ‘Citadel’.

_She goes to where she was shown. A master is there with one of her kin, Vasha. He nods it is time. She takes the pill, looking at Vasha, who now looks like a human female._

Rissa. Kaidan doesn’t have a chance to consider that more as the memory continues.

_She feels the poison inside her, changing her, creating a feeling she does not know or understand. It’s red, fire, driving forward, devouring everything in its path, blinding her brain with its intense desire to burn without reason. She can’t control it and it frightens her._

Kaidan knew it was anger, a feeling so common in every other race he’d encountered, including his own, yet astoundingly unknown to this one.

_Vasha is walking out into the open, amongst the people, and she knows she has to follow. She has to perform. She remembers the words she had to learn, the tone she had to use: so savage, like the beasts that try to prey on her kin. The burn accompanies her until she’s sure she has become a beast herself. She shouts at Vasha, the words spilling out as she’s been taught, her hands clutching at Vasha with a harshness that shocks her. She has no control._

_She pushes Vasha, and her hands meet hers. She connects. ‘Now, sister.’ It is a deadened thought from Vasha, with no life behind it. Vasha is an empty shell following orders. Just like her…?_

_She has no choice. She drags Vasha into the corridor. It’s hidden away; never used. No-one can see. A master is here, a human female on her knees, dazed by another poison put within her. This is the face Vasha wears._

_The master approves and she feels worse. He makes her stand in front of him as he kills the female. The human’s head bursts a circle of red that splatters her clothes and face. She doesn’t want to wear the dripping life of this woman._

Seeing Rissa murdered like that…. And simply to sully Terra?

_The master puts something on her wrist that belonged to Shepard – she remembers the human speaking into it – and then she’s told to hold the metal that kills. The master hurries out of sight with Vasha who wears a different face now._

_The people appear, shouting, threatening, but she feels no fear. They will not be as cruel as the masters. The metal – the ‘gun’ - is knocked from her hand. She’s forced to the ground. Her wrists are bound. She’s made to walk out amongst the people. They see Shepard. It’s not fair. But she has no choice._

_There should be no hope, but she has read Shepard’s mind and these people share the traits of she and her kin. They love, they care. But there is more within them. They seek to protect even those they do not know, with their ability to stand strong against the cruel things, where she and her kin could not. Could she make contact? Shepard’s soulmate will come. Dare she wait?_

The connection broke and Kaidan was left stunned. Terra had been left alone to face all that, believing for a time that their son was dead. “Where is she? Where have they taken Shepard?” Kaidan kept his tone as gentle as he could. Zaliesh didn’t deserve the harsh words of a demand.

“Away from here. I am sorry. That is all I know. I must go. I have waited too long.” Zaliesh started to remove her clothes, and Kaidan would have looked away had she not begun to fade out.

No, she wasn’t fading, she was _blending_ into the surroundings, her skin changing and reflecting until she seemed to disappear. It was as effective as Terra’s cloak. Zaliesh was a humanoid chameleon. One who could also reach a mind through touch. Now Terra’s ‘hallucinations’ had a whole new, astounding explanation.

“Forgive me.” This time her voice came from behind him.

She was just walking out, and despite her hand in Terra’s abduction, Kaidan felt no compulsion to raise the alarm. Through her memories he had picked up the base fear of the batarians that had tried to stamp out her own will so they could control her. Saving Nate and lingering long enough to communicate this all to him... those were the last remains of who she was, surviving despite the psychological damage that was meant to leash her. Preventing her escape would doubtless bring about some horrible reprisal that he wouldn’t be responsible for. Zaliesh was a hostage in need of rescue.

Moving back into the corridor, but unable to see any sign of her, Kaidan knew there was no way for him to track Zaliesh. Her camouflage was perfect. He just hoped that she would be okay until he found out where they were. And he would.

“Everything okay, Sir?” asked the asari officer guarding the open doorway at the opposite end of the corridor that Zaliesh had probably already escaped through.

With a start, Kaidan realised he was standing outside an empty cell. A cell where C-Sec believed they held Terra. This was going to look bad…. The enormity of the situation he was in instantly doubled.

“Uh, yeah. As well as it can be.” Making a show of closing the cell door with a forced calm, Kaidan then walked out, not glancing at Garrus as he passed his cell again. He needed to get away from here.

As he exited, Kaidan saw Joker, Wrex and the others tensing with anticipation when they saw him, and he kept his gaze forward as he walked by the detective.

“Spectre Alenko.”

Freezing, Kaidan turned to Tavitus.

“Did your wife say anything?”

“It was like you said: I’m not her favourite person right now. She wouldn’t speak to me.” Kaidan cleared his throat around the lie. “Excuse me, Detective, but I need to arrange some kind of legal representation for her and the others.”

“Sound move.”

“In the meantime, I’ll ask you to refrain from questioning any of them until then.”

Hoping that would buy him some time before they found out their prisoner had disappeared, Kaidan walked swiftly out, inclining his head to indicate the others follow him as he picked up Rorie in one swift move. “Teryck could I have a word with you as we walk?” Thankfully, Garrus’ father acquiesced, and Kaidan moved closer to Wrex, keeping his voice low. “I need you to take your guards elsewhere.”

Wrex gave him an appraising stare in response. “Causing your own trouble, Alenko?”

“Something like that.”

“Hey! What’s going on?” pressed Joker, his voice raised to be heard as he struggled to keep up, and clearly getting angrier by the second.

Without needing further explanation, Wrex peeled away from them, taking his C-Sec followers and the intrigued-looking salarian duo with them.

“Kaidan?” questioned Chakwas, but unlike Joker, she was the picture of worry.

Slowing slightly so Joker could catch up, Kaidan couldn’t believe what he was about to say. “We’re taking Normandy.”

“What!? Where!?” Joker nearly stopped, but Kaidan urged him on with a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Anywhere that’s away from here,” was all he could answer.

“Any other time I’d be cheering you on,” said Jack, “but all I see is a cheating ass-“ she stopped herself completing that slur when Kaidan flashed a warning look that flicked briefly to Rorie who was watching them intently. “You’re running away,” charged Jack.

“Nuh uh. Daddy’s going to get mommy. Because he’s lost her. Haven’t you, daddy?” Rorie tilted her head right in front of his, ensuring she had his full attention. “She can’t tell you where she is, can she?”

Sometimes, his daughter’s ability to piece things together to get close to the truth, scared the hell out of him, and he hugged her tighter. “No, she can’t, but you’re not to worry, because we’ll find her.”

“I know.”

Christ, if only he had as much faith in himself. “Joker, get a message to the rest of the crew. They have to get there a-sap.” Then he passed Rorie to Chakwas with a look she understood, falling back to the rear while he made a call. “Steven, I’ve got to leave the Citadel,” he said the second Hackett answered. “I don’t have time to explain right now, and this is going to sound crazy, but that wasn’t Terra they arrested. She’s been taken off the station by batarians.”

Beside him, Joker and Jack looked stunned, while Teryck frowned at the knowledge that Garrus’ fears had been right.

“ _I’m going to take you at your word on that, because I can confirm you’re running out of time. I had to hand my data over to Internal Affairs, and as a result the fleets have been removed from my command. They’re recalling all ships, including those I just sent to find your squads. I told them everything we believe, but they’ll investigate at their own speed, and I’m not holding my breath. We know from experience they like to act first and think about the sense of it all after.”_

Kaidan silently cursed. A net was closing in, one that would tie his hands completely if he didn’t evade it, and it was coming from his own allies. How the hell had these batarians accomplished it? He finally had a chance to address Garrus’ father. “Teryck. I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do for Garrus right now.” Kaidan winced with guilt. “But I wanted you to know that Garrus was right, and I won’t forget about him.”

“ _Don’t worry about Garrus,_ ” said Hackett, reminding them all he was still there. “ _I’ve been in touch with Dr T’Soni and filled her in on what little we know and what position we’re in. She assures me she can get Garrus out. Don’t ask me how._ ”

“It’s good enough for me,” answered Teryck. “I should go update Garrus. Good luck, Alenko.”

As Teryck turned to go back, Kaidan’s stomach dropped as he saw Dr T’Esana passing by them, too distracted with her omnitool to notice him as she headed towards C-Sec. “Oh shit.” He took back Rorie from Chakwas and picked up the pace, aiming towards the elevator, feeling that countdown nearing its end. “Steven, we’re not going to make it. C-Sec are going to find an empty cell and they’re going to suspect I had a hand in it.”

“ _Do what you can to get on that ship. With Terra out there somewhere, it’s more paramount than ever that we have Normandy_ and _you. I have to go. With luck, I’ll see you soon.”_

Barrelling into the elevator with the others, Kaidan was feeling the pressure. Never had he imagined he’d have the threat of C-Sec hanging over him.

By time they’d made it out and began heading for Normandy’s bay, a station-wide alert sounded. Shortly after, his omnitool delivered a message from the Council and he didn’t need to open it to know what it would say, though he almost laughed when he saw he’d only warranted three succinct words.

**Spectre status: revoked.**

From where he was, Kaidan could see Normandy in place, just waiting for them. Now it would be placed in lockdown. Security teams were already moving to guard the bay’s entrance.

He was too late.

**-o-O-o-**


	12. Chapter 12

The crew were amassed and ready. They’d all been given the option to stay behind – a real déjà vu moment for Joker – and even though this had come from Kaidan, this was Shepard’s crew, and every single one of them opted to come along despite the likely repercussions. He’d known they would. Shepard was out there, and none of them were about to turn their backs on her.

Joker watched from his vantage point as Mikhailovich ranted at the four guards on duty at the bay’s entrance. Poor bastards didn’t even have anything to do with the decision to lock down Normandy. Once the admiral had finished his pointless tirade, his face visibly red with fury, he stormed back through the ship’s airlock.

They waited for all of a minute before Edi broke the silence. “The admiral is in the war-room. I have sealed the doors and blocked communications.”

“Good. Let’s go.” Joker led the crew, including Jack, Rorie and Nate, towards the bay, noticing the C-Sec officers scrutinising them closely. As he got closer, a human officer held his hand up to stop them. Showtime. “Is there a problem here?”

“Admiral Shepard’s escaped custody and General Alenko’s wanted for questioning over his part in that. This ship’s closely associated with the both of them.”

“Uh, _was_. Admiral Mikhailovich’s in charge now, and he’s just called us in. So if you don’t mind, I’d rather not be on the receiving end of his ire for being late.” Joker lowered his voice conspiratorially. “Between you and me, the man’s a complete asshole.”

The officer laughed at that. “Yeah, we got a taste of that just now. If it’s any consolation, we’ve got some turian hotshot running the show and he’s barking orders like he’s been here for three decades instead of three months.” There was a nod and grumble of agreement from a turian officer, while the other two remained silent. “You realise that the ship’s on lockdown, though. Orders from the Council.”

“Yeah, the admiral said something about that. Wasn’t too pleased about it. You’d think we’d get some bonus shore-leave but apparently we’re to be ready to go the minute the Council lifts the order.”

“Well we won’t hold you up; just got to be sure. Go on through.”

“Thanks. I’m pretty sure I’d have noticed Shepard or Alenko tagging along, though. It’s not like they could go incognito as famous as they are.” He gave an exaggerated sigh. “How low the mighty have fallen.”

“Tell me about it. Hard to believe.”

Having struck up a pretty decent rapport, if he did say so himself, Joker walked through the checkpoint and then waited as one by one each crewmember passed.

When Jack got there, with Rorie in hand, the C-sec officer once again raised his hand to stop them, and Joker tensed. This was what he’d been worried about: Rorie being recognised. He’d managed to get her to give up the cap she always wore, as well as her soft toy varren – both of which were stuffed into his pant pockets – and they’d changed her out of the academy uniform and into her civilian clothes, just so she looked less like the images so often captured of her whenever reporters got a chance. But was it enough?

“You don’t look like one of the crew.”

To Joker’s disguised horror, Jack’s face visibly darkened. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Shit. Joker wasn’t so sure how to get Jack to back down, but then Cortez pushed his way past the others, carrying Nate who was out like a light, his little head flopped forward onto Cortez’s shoulder. “I’m Commander Cortez, Normandy’s CO. Our captain’s given the okay for my family to catch a ride to Grissom. My wife’s an instructor there.”

Joker held back the wince as he noticed the puzzled look on Rorie’s face. _Please, don’t question it out loud._

“Instructor?” The officer looked Jack over, sceptically, and Joker rolled his eyes. Amazing that the only thing this guy found difficult to believe was the one part of Cortez’s claim that was actually true. “Of what?”

In response, Jack flared, causing the officer to step back and Rorie to giggle.

“That tickled! I can do that, too!” Rorie copied Jack, and Joker wanted to throttle Jack as the officers looked at each other, unsettled. If anyone was going to say something to give the game away, it would be an oblivious five year old, and Jack wasn’t helping to get her past the guards quickly.

“I see. Excuse me, ma’am. I meant no disrespect.”

“Sure you did.”

Standing out of eye-view of the officers, Joker tried to give Jack a ‘what the hell are you doing? Just smile sweetly and get on the damn ship!’ look, but all he got was a scowl.

Cortez just gave a strained laugh, bravely slinging his arm over Jack’s shoulders and giving her a squeeze. “Take it easy on the poor man, love. Sorry,” he said to the officer. “It’s been a long day.”

“But Uncle Estban-“ started Rorie, looking up at Steve in confusion.

“Yes?” blurted out Joker, quickly gaining her attention, then continuing before she could say more. “Hey, come on! Bet you want to ride up front, right? Be my co-pilot?”

“Yay!” Satisfactorily distracted, Rorie left Jack behind to race to the airlock, and Cortez took the opportunity to nudge Jack on, while Joker was left safe from the impending heart attack.

“Your CO’s got his hands full with that one,” the officer muttered.

Joker chuckled appropriately. “You got that right. She’s enough to turn the man gay.” Adams snorted as he passed by, but Joker remained stoic.

Behind Adams was Clay, mask firmly in place, and though he was clearly quarian, the officer ordered he remove the mask. With Clay’s identity confirmed as exactly what he appeared to be, he was waved on. Edi was given a visual once-over, but other than that, there were no further stops.

Once the last of crew had passed the guards inspection, Joker brought up the rear, his bones aching from the tension, expecting someone to shout out to him to halt. When the airlock closed behind him, he was finally able to breathe properly.

“Holy shit, that was intense. Edi, what’s the admiral’s status?”

“ _Pissed._ ”

Joker snorted at Edi’s wording. “What a shame.” He swallowed back his nerves as he sank into his seat. They’d done the easy part, now it was up to Kaidan.

-o-O-o-

Garrus paced his cell, about ready to punch through the walls. According to his father, he’d been right about Shepard, but whatever the hell that was in the cell opposite him, it had escaped after Kaidan’s visit, and who was going to believe it if he tried to make them see the truth? Now all of C-Sec had cleared out asides from one officer manning a desk as per protocol, and Teryck was standing in the corridor outside his room looking clueless as to what to do next.

The fact was: there was nothing his father could do unless he was prepared to break the law and bypass the door so Garrus could go join the others in the hunt for Shepard. But that would require Teryck Vakarian to be a completely different man than who he was.

Suddenly, the door released and slid open, and Garrus stared at his father, slack-jawed.

His father had the exact same expression on his face. “How did you do that!?”

“Me? I thought _you_ did it!”

Then Kasumi materialised beside Teryck with a sigh, making the veteran jump. “And I thought you guys were smart. You can thank me later. Right now, I’m thinking it would be a good idea to go.”

“Who are you? How did you get past the officer on duty?” Teryck queried cautiously.

“We’re doing this now? Alright. Kasumi Goto. Seems your guard got a little sleepy.” Kasumi gave that enigmatic smile that confirmed it was all her doing.

“She’s a master thief, dad,” explained Garrus. “Let’s go.”

“Your…associate is a master thief?”

Choosing not to get into a debate over his choice of friends, Garrus was out of the cell and peering into the others as he passed. He wasn’t happy. “Bailey and Kolyat aren’t here.” Emerging into the main floor, Garrus went straight to where the C-Sec officer appeared to be snoozing and started typing into the terminal. “Damn it, Tavitus had them transferred to another ward.” He found Tavtitus’ evidence against them, downloaded the file, and swung to Kasumi. “Alenko?” To be honest, he wasn’t sure how to feel about the man at the moment, but he appeared to be intent on finding Shepard, so he’d put it aside for now.

“He’s headed to Citadel Control to release Normandy. Liara’s arranging an alternative method of travel for him.”

That was the last thing Garrus was expecting.

“But that’s practically suicide!” exclaimed Teryck.

“Not quite,” muttered Garrus, imagining those biotics would be playing a big part, “but walking into Control _is_ one hell of a risk.”

“Yes, it is.”

They all swung to the new voice, and Garrus’ heart sunk when he saw Councillor Osoba standing there. He’d heard the whole thing.

“Which is why you’re going to stop him.”

Garrus stood taller, his chest puffing out as he folded his arms defensively at the order. “All this is bullshit, Councillor. This may sound crazy, but Alenko said that woman they arrested wasn’t Shepard, and I believe him. She’s been abducted and he needs to get off this station to go find her.”

“I agree.”

That took a moment to process. “What!?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have the first clue what’s going on, but I do know there’s too much that doesn’t make sense - with Shepard, with your arrest, and with these asari attacks – so I’m prepared to remain receptive to ‘crazy’. Alenko’s best chance is to go straight to Normandy. _I_ can authorise the ship’s release.”

Garrus gaped back at the councillor. “Won’t you get in trouble with the other councillors?”

“Whoever’s behind this mess with the asari have already set strong suspicions amongst my colleagues - towards me _and_ between each other. Granted, this move won’t help, but it’s necessary. We need someone out there who can sort this before we destroy ourselves from the inside out. For that we need Alenko, and Shepard. And they need those loyal to them. That’s you. It’s why I came here, though it looks like you didn’t need my help getting out. I can’t contact Alenko, so you have to go stop him and get him to that ship.”

As a Spectre, Kaidan would know that they could track him via his omnitool. It would have been the first thing he’d have switched off in order to remain undiscovered.

Garrus gave Osoba an appraising look then offered his hand. “You’re alright, Councillor.”

While his father near choked at the casualness with which he’d addressed Osoba, the councillor himself just laughed and shook his hand. “Thank you. Now hurry.”

Garrus didn’t need to be told twice. Reattaching his omnitool that Kasumi had just liberated for him, he walked up to a wall panel, tapped at his tool, and the panel slid aside to reveal a passage that had been created in response to the Citadel attacks so that C-Sec could traverse the station from each office to the main headquarters quicker, though only top personnel knew of it so it couldn’t be used against them. It was for emergencies only, and Garrus deemed this was one. Quickly arming himself - out of habit rather than in preparation for a fight - he set off at a fast pace, reassured by the presence of his father and Kasumi.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan stood on the catwalk, out of view of any cameras and searching C-Sec.

He was working himself up for what he had to do next: walk through C-Sec to Citadel Control. Hopefully, he’d have enough time to hack into a terminal and release Normandy before he was noticed. After that, the only way he’d be getting out was with force.

Liara had suggested using an agent within Citadel Control, but that person would then be treated as an accomplice. The last thing Kaidan wanted was to drag anyone else into this mess, so he was ‘it’.

The thought of having to hurt anyone in his pursuit though, was unpleasant. He certainly didn’t intend to kill anyone. These people were just following their orders from others who also weren’t his enemies; just blinkered fools who had yet to catch up with the truth. Hitting out against them in their ignorance would only ensure he confirmed the Council’s concerns. He was trying to prove otherwise. He just wished there were another way.

He was in Anderson’s place when Normandy was impounded before Ilos. Back then, Anderson had bypassed this option by instead using Udina’s terminal to remove the restriction the then-ambassador had ordered himself. Unfortunately, a Council order had to be rescinded by a councillor, and getting to Osoba’s office where security was far tighter, would be virtually impossible. That left him with no choice.

Rolling his shoulders, stretching out the over-tense muscles, Kaidan exhaled slowly in a bid to control the rush within his veins. He couldn’t let nerves rules here. He had to be sharp, or he’d make a mistake that could cost someone their life.

Making his way to a ladder, he descended to the ward floor and swiftly started for Citadel Control, his head down. He’d gotten close enough via the walkways so that he was only two corners away, but of course he had C-Sec’s main head-quarters to traverse. Kaidan was banking on most of its staff being out on the hunt for ‘Shepard’ and himself, but it would only take one person to recognise him.

As expected, C-Sec was far quieter than usual. Maintaining a stroll through C-Sec was a labour of hard-fought restraint. What he wanted to do was run in, get it done, and get out fast. The reality was: it would draw attention his way.

His heart leapt to his throat as four officers stepped out of a nearby room, in deep discussion, and began to move through the passage towards him. So far, they were too intent on each other to look where they were going, but Kaidan had no idea how long that would last. As they got closer, Kaidan stopped and crouched, pretending to refasten his boot. From this angle, his face would be obscured.

When they passed by him without hesitation, Kaidan sucked in a deep breath and started forward again. The steps up to Control were right there. This was it.

Then something struck him in the side of the head - something light but sent at high velocity - and it stopped him in his tracks. He turned in confusion, spotting the offending item still rolling across the floor. Was that a… spitball? Looking up in the direction it had come from, Kaidan was surprised to see Garrus in the shadows of a side corridor he didn’t know existed.

“Garrus. Did they release you?” Kaidan hushed as he swiftly nipped into the corridor.

“Not exactly. We’ve got to get you to Normandy.”

“Normandy’s not going anywhere unless I remove the docking clamps.”

“Yep, and it’s already covered. Come on.”

Garrus was already leading the way through the low-lit halls, and Kaidan raced to catch up, a plethora of questions forming.

“How?”

“Osoba.”

“You’re kidding me!?”

“Nope. … Unless Osoba wasn’t being sincere...” Garrus seemed to ponder this previously unconsidered thought. “In which case we’re likely to be stuck on a ship that’s going nowhere, all nicely wrapped up in one place for C-Sec. Damn.”

Kaidan huffed. “Osoba’s not another Udina. He’s a man of his word.” At least, Kaidan hoped so.

Not that it meant getting to the ship would be any easier.

“Oh and uh…did you just hit me with a spitball?”

Kasumi unexpectedly appeared beside him. “Told him it wasn’t necessary when I had a cloak. All I had to do was tap you on the shoulder. He went and did it anyway. Went out of his way to stop at the café for the straw and take-out bag, too.”

“And I’m completely unrepentant about it,” confirmed Garrus, his gaze penetrating. “You’ve got some explaining to do. Later.”

Kaidan understood. He wasn’t so sure everything was as it seemed with regards to Rissa and last night, but he couldn’t state it hadn’t, either. It all depended on when the batarians had got hold of her, and he wasn’t sure whether he’d ever find out. It left him in a strange place. And Rissa… She was a friend and comrade who’d been executed all because of some ploy to tarnish Terra in the eyes of the Council and beyond. It was such an awful end to a life spent fighting for others. But guilt and grief had to take a backseat. They had a mission to complete, and he needed to focus. Casualties were unacceptable.

-o-O-o-

Hackett exited his office and walked with purpose through the corridors of Arcturus. He’d done all he could for those on the Citadel. Approaching Osoba had been a weighed risk, but Hackett trusted his instincts, and they said Osoba was an open-minded man who could be trusted to take a stand. From there, Kaidan and Normandy’s crew would have to handle the rest. As resourceful as those elite group of people were, he was confidant they’d succeed.

He sure as hell wasn’t going to sit here though. He’d been confined to the station while Internal Affairs completed their investigation, but he had no intention of remaining idle while his daughter was out there in need of help.

“Admiral Hackett.”

Hackett stopped and turned to the man leading the IA investigation. “Rear Admiral Jaynes.” It was a deliberate reference that denoted he ranked above Jayne, despite the man’s influence over the Committee so far.

The admiral wore a permanently satisfied smile on his face. To the naive it said ‘trust me, I’m on your side’. To those more experienced, Jayne was silently saying ‘I know everything about you. Lie and I’ve got you’. If it was supposed to intimidate, it failed. Hackett had caught the hint of irritation behind Jaynes’s eyes during their first interrogation, as Jaynes tried to trip him up with cleverly worded questions in his bid to get Hackett to implicate himself. But Jayne’s was barking up the wrong tree, and Hackett hadn’t faltered, giving nothing away behind his long-practiced stony façade.

“I just wanted to ensure there’s no hard feelings over earlier.” It grated on Hackett that Jaynes made it sound like there wouldn’t be any further questioning. “It’s nothing personal, of course. We’re just trying to get to the truth. It’s unfortunate that a man of your calibre has been pulled into all this.”

That was disregarded by Hackett as the insincere comment it was, and he wasn’t about to make nice because Jaynes was leading him. “Is there anything else?”

There was the slightest eye twitch and a muscle tightening in the man’s jaw. “No.” Jaynes offered his hand, and Hackett took it, tensing as Jaynes also patted his shoulder in an over-friendly gesture that was out of place here.

“We’ll talk again later.”

No, they wouldn’t. Without another word, Hackett walked away. From his direction it would appear as though he were heading to the closest dining quarter, a huge space that offered a myriad of restaurant-style places to eat in an attempt to make the station appear less like a military facility and more like a mini Citadel. But Hackett passed by, winding his way through the crowds that were synonymous with the dining quarters in the evenings, and headed for the docking bays instead.

There, Dr T’Soni had assured him she had an agent who could get him on a large supply freighter which was about to leave, transporting goods to the Shanxi colony.

Becoming a stowaway was certainly not something he’d ever anticipated, but Hackett was no puppet whose strings could be pulled, and he would do whatever it took to get out from under those who weren’t astute enough to know they were being used, so he could go help find his daughter.

-o-O-o-

Wrex was shooting the hell out of a piece of paper on the range, imagining it was a councillor. The fact that the paper image was of a human was unfortunate – Osoba seemed the least annoying of the four – but it seemed that salarian and turian silhouettes didn’t exist, and he had to let loose somehow. You had to wonder why humans didn’t object to being the targets or why they liked to shoot at images of themselves. Didn’t seem too healthy.

Ejecting a heat sink with a bored grumble, he clipped in another, wishing it didn’t fire blanks so he could dispose of his guards and go find out for himself what in the varren’s hairy backside was going on. He hated waiting.

Finally, Cael returned – or was it Gardew? Whatever, Wrex didn’t care - and he watched as the salarian murmured to his cohort before they both made their way over, completely ignoring the C-Sec contingent who eyed them with suspicion.

“Your broker has an update,” said Cael (or Gardew) under his breath. “Alenko and Vakarian are about to make a dash for the Normandy. Seems Shepard’s not actually here at all. That was a doppelganger we saw on the newsvids.”

“Most strange,” commented… the other one.

“It’s believed she’s been abducted by batarians.”

“Terrible. Had heard rantings of retribution for Aratoht on extranet. Unintelligent opinion only held by minority of surviving batarians.”

“Madness, for sure. Bodes ill for Shepard.”

Wrex growled, not because of the salarians that jabbered away like he wasn’t even there, but at the thought of Shepard in batarian hands. “Then I’m going.”

“Is that wise?”

“I’ll deal with them first,” Wrex said, rolling his head in his guards’ direction.

“Not what I meant. Consider the reason you’re under watch.”

Beginning to pace in his agitation, Wrex hated the damn Council even more. The heat of rage was rising within him. He was krogan, and he fought his battles. But this…this felt like standing inert and watching while the war waged all around him, taking down his friends one by one. But the instant he left this station a countdown would begin, and it would end with the Council races massed over Tuchanka.

With a frustrated roar, Wrex threw the shotgun, sending it hurtling through the ragged target and smacking hard into the rear wall – quite a feat considering the distance. Behind him, Wrex could hear the C-Sec assholes arming their weapons, while the salarians were telling them he was just ‘letting off steam’.

But it wasn’t true. Only taking real action was going to calm this fury that was still building. The question was: should he contain it?

-o-O-o-

“This has got to be the craziest thing we’ve ever done.”

Kaidan looked at Garrus. He couldn’t agree more. Whatever he was feeling before as he’d made his way through C-Sec, was now doubled as he walked beside Garrus, right out in the open. “What, crazier than flying into the Omega 4 Relay?” Talking helped to calm his nerves by bringing an air of casualness with it.

“Nothing’s crazier than flying into a suicide mission, but that was with Shepard. I’ve lost count of the insane things that woman’s gotten us into. And out of.”

When Normandy came into view, Kaidan was grinning alongside Garrus, choosing to latch onto those memories rather than consider where she was now.

As soon as they approached the checkpoint, all four guards reacted.

“Halt! Put your hands on your heads!” shouted the human lead officer.

“What the hell’s wrong with you? Don’t you know who I am?” Garrus slapped the rifle aside and peered directly into the blanching human’s eyes.

“Um. You’re- You’re Va- Um, Executor Vakarian, Sir.”

“Well at least you got something right. Maybe there’s a chance you’ll keep your job, after all. Name.”

“Um-“

“Um’s a name?”

“No, Sir! It’s Quigley.”

“You in charge of these others, Quigley?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Think you’re setting a very good example right now?”

“No, Sir. Sorry, Sir. But our last orders were to watch for Admiral Shepard and General Alenko.” Quigley’s eyes went briefly to Kaidan, who deliberately stood with his arms crossed and an unimpressed look on his face. Garrus was doing a stand-up job.

“Didn’t you get the damn update?”

“Update, Sir?”

Garrus shook his head with a sound of disgust. “For Spirits sake. Would I be standing here, _with_ Spectre Alenko, if we hadn’t sorted all this nonsense out?”

“Um…” This time Quigley looked at his colleagues, who offered him no help at all.

“Now stand aside and stop delaying Spectre business, or I’ll be forced to lay charges of obstruction on the four of you.” Immediately, they moved out of the way, and Garrus turned to Kaidan, hand extended. “Good luck out there, Alenko.”

“Thank you, Executor,” Kaidan replied, shaking his hand. “I appreciate that.” Then he was walking right past the guards. The idea was to make it look like the Executor was seeing him off; for Garrus to be seen about to leave the Citadel would have raised some serious questions. Once Kaidan was aboard, and Normandy was powering up, Garrus would send his officers off and quickly jump on the ship with Teryck. Kasumi was either already walking right beside him or off looking for her next target. He could never tell with the thief.

The airlock slid open, then closed behind him, but until he had everyone where he wanted them, Kaidan couldn’t relax. Emerging into the welcoming embrace of Normandy, Kaidan went straight to the cockpit where Joker was already getting to work. The power that vibrated beneath his feet provided some comfort, but they weren’t done yet.

“Okay. I’m guessing there was a change in plan.” As usual, Joker’s attention was fully on the console his fingers flew over. “Can’t believe you just walked right by C-Sec, by the way. For the record, I nearly peed myself.”

“Too much information, Joker. Edi, get a message to Councillor Osoba. ‘Ten minutes, and we’re good to go’.”

“Done.” Edi eyed him from the co-pilot’s seat, and Joker turned completely in his chair, eyes boggling.

“Seriously? How did you pull that one?”

“I have no idea,” Kaidan answered honestly. “But I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”

“I’m with you there.” Then Joker swung back and carried on.

“Bring up external cameras.” Kaidan leaned in, needing to see that everything within the bay was going to plan whilst trying to ignore the nagging thought: _when does it ever?_

-o-O-o-

Fred walked into the range, ready to let loose after a day spent bending to every little whim from diplomats who looked down on him. Not a thank you from a single one. Privileged bastards. So he came here, and imagined their faces in place of the black on the target. Here he could pretend he wasn’t some scrawny attendant who was too gutless to tell them all to go to hell.

Choosing an assault rifle because it looked badass, he entered the sealed off area with anticipation, only to stop dead in his tracks, his jaw dropping as he stared at where the targets should be.

There, hanging from the target clamps were four gagged C-Sec officers.

It was only their angry, muffled noises they made Fred snap out of his surprise. As he went to get the range’s supervisor, a smile grew on Fred’s face. If only he had the balls to do that to those diplomats.

-o-O-o-

Garrus pretended to scroll through his messages until he picked up the sound of Normandy’s engines, then closed his omnitool with a contented sigh. “Well, this is one day I’ll be happy to see end.”

“Understandable, Sir.”

“I’m heading home. You’re all dismissed.”

“Yes, Sir.”

The officers started to walk away, when another station alert signalled the plan was about to fall apart. Garrus supposed he should be grateful it taken them as far as it had. As the C-Sec officers froze and put their hands to their earpieces as they were updated by headquarters with what he could only imagine was the discovery of his own escape, Garrus sent a quick message to Normandy, telling them to go without him. He checked the time. Eight minutes until Osoba would initiate the release.

The officers spun, their weapons raised. Quigley looked particularly angry at being made a fool of, and Garrus held his hands out in surrender. His father appeared behind them, hesitant as to what to do: stay within the law or break it to keep their freedom. Garrus didn’t have such qualms, but Teryck Vakarian did, so Garrus gave the barest of head shakes to take away the burden of that decision.

“Watch out, Mr V!”

Garrus nearly laughed out loud at the familiar voice that preceded the figure dashing at speed towards the officers. Jumping aside as Vega hurtled into the officers, sending them sprawling, Garrus was already grabbing his father and directing him towards the ship. Vega disarmed the dazed guards, flinging their weapons out of their reach.

“Stop right there, or we’ll fire!”

Biting back the curse, Garrus faced Tavitus, the teasing rays of hope brought by Vega’s appearance, instantly dissipating. As the three of them were quickly surrounded by C-Sec officers, James backed up to stand beside Garrus, creating a shield as best they could for Teryck behind them.

“Well, that could have gone better,” muttered Vega.

Garrus matched the low tone. “So that was your plan? Become a human bowling ball?”

“And run for it. Yeah. Why? What were _you_ going to do? Cry, and say Alenko made you do it?” guffawed Vega.

“Firstly: turians don’t cry. Secondly: it was technically Osoba who made me do it.” That shut James up and his friend stared back at him in surprise.

“Yeah,” sniffed Garrus, teasing. “I’ve got connections.”

Tavitus sauntered up to Garrus, irritated by their casual discussion. “Things just got a lot more serious for you. What was the point of this? This ship’s not going anywhere. Is this a distraction while Shepard and Alenko get off elsewhere? Well, it’s a futile move, because I’ve now closed down all the bays. No ship’s leaving the Citadel.”

Garrus stared back silently at Tavitus, waiting for Quigley to find his nerve. There was an awkward throat-clearing from the human.

“Um… Detective Tavitus?”

The turian didn’t take his eyes from Garrus’s. “What is it?”

“Alenko is, um…on the ship…Sir.”

That got Tavitus’s attention, and Garrus was pretty sure Quigley was about to turn tail and run for his life. “Someone get that airlock open. Now!”

Assured that Normandy wouldn’t be there by the time they got the equipment to cut through her airlock, Garrus lamented that he wouldn’t be part of the search party for Shepard.

“I. AM. KROGAN!”

With wonderful timing, Wrex barrelled into the bay and launched himself at three officers who wisely dived out of his way, while two salarians spilt in different directions and deftly stripped weapons from those nearest them, with smooth moves. Garrus, like Vega, did his part, wrestling with the nearest officer to prevent him using his rifle.

But back up was arriving. Tavitus had gotten out of the fray and was now aiming at Wrex, but Kasumi appeared, overloading his weapon and making the turian yell as it sent an electric shock up his arm. Angered, Tavitus grabbed Kasumi with his good arm, before she could cloak again.

If these people were enemies, Garrus and the others would have dealt with them in seconds, but instead they were hampered.

A stream of biotic energy rushed past Garrus and smacked into Tavitus, knocking him off his feet and tumbling across to the rear of the bay where the reinforcements were. That was followed by another wave that swept Garrus’s opponent out of his hands to join Tavitus. All around him, a succession of biotic blows had cleared C-Sec almost all the way out of the bay.

Kaidan ran forward and formed a biotic barrier just as Tavitus ordered everyone to fire. “Go!”

Garrus hurried to the airlock, standing watch just inside as his father, Wrex, Vega, and the two salarians, rushed inside. “Kasumi?”

“Right here.” Her voice came from right beside him, causing him to jerk.

“Spirits! Kaidan! We’re in!”

Garrus saw Kaidan backing up, his barrier holding firm against the gunfire. When he was beside Garrus, he pushed the energy field out, scattering the C-Sec personnel in the process, and took a single backwards step, so Garrus could seal them in.

As they moved into Normandy, Garrus checked the countdown. Thirty seconds. That was what he called a result.

.

Kaidan re-joined Joker, his eyes riveted to that red light that indicated the docking clamps were in place. “You ready for this, Joker?”

“Not my first time doing this, you know.”

“Last time, nobody had cottoned on to what we were doing.”

“He’s right,” said Garrus, gravely. “The second Tavitus sees those docking clamps release, he’s going to have every ship guarding the Citadel gunning for us.”

Joker shrugged. “At least I won’t be disappointed this time. ‘Bout time we got some action.” He patted his armrests.

Dead on time, the light turned green, and Kaidan thanked the stars for Osoba.

Joker was in his element, his confidence in his ability filtering through to Kaidan. This was the last hurdle. All they had to do was make it to the relay.

Little feet pattered towards them at speed.

“You’re going without me.” Rorie pouted at Joker. “You said I could help you fly.”

Kaidan crouched to her. “Honey, this is work now, understand? You mustn’t distract Joker.”

“Okay,” she sighed.

His five-year-old’s disappointment got to him every time, and Kaidan gathered her up as he stood, her face pressing up to his as she hugged him. He didn’t doubt he was doing the right thing, but having his children aboard a ship that was everybody’s target didn’t sit well.

As Normandy sped towards the ends of the ward arms, there were several ships already manoeuvring into position, but by no means the bulk of the force. They’d been caught unawares, their duty: to protect the Citadel from ships attempting to attack it, rather than preventing ships from leaving.

Joker evaded heavy-fire from a couple of asari vessels with ease. A group of turian ships moved in front of them, more organised, but not one of them took a shot, and Kaidan glanced at Garrus.

“Any turian worth his rank will respect what you did for the galaxy. We’re not so quick to turn on allies that have proven themselves to the degree you and Shepard have. Consider this a test. So far, we’ve made no attempt to engage. If that changes, they’ll be all over us.”

“Not today.” Joker throttled the ship straight for them, taking the odd hit at their flanks from other ships, some sadly Alliance.

“Joker?” queried Kaidan, nervously. “Now’s not the time to play chicken.”

“Don’t worry, there’s a gap,” he answered, like he was explaining it to a child.

Kaidan looked, but all that did was send his heart thumping. “Uh, that’s a sliver.”

“Oh come on! It’s a practically a chasm,” ribbed Joker.

“It’s okay, daddy,” said Rorie, patting his head in reassurance. “Uncle Joker’s the best.”

“You got it, Pip-Squeak.” Joker reached his hand back, and Rorie gave him an awkward high-five.

“Spirits! Put your hand back on the console!” snapped Garrus, sounding as uncertain about their current trajectory as Kaidan was.

Holding his breath and squinting as they got closer to the turian vessels, Kaidan clutched one hand to the back of Joker’s seat as the ship tilted, holding Rorie tight. Asides from the slight tremble as the shields scraped over the turians’ either side, they made it through. “Damn it, Joker,” he exhaled. “Couldn’t you have just gone under or over?”

“I could’ve, but that was way more fun,” Joker smirked, already sending the ship dancing around more approaching ships and their laser-fire.

“The look on your face was priceless,” agreed Edi.

Garrus laughed, and Kaidan realised he’d missed this; this group of people who would be forever loyal to Terra and would go up against the Citadel’s security force to prove it.

“Here we go. Locking into the relay,” announced Joker.

In a blink of an eye, they’d cleared Citadel space, and radar picked up some followers way behind, unable to keep up with Normandy’s speed. This girl really was new and improved.

The relay caught them, pulling them in with the promise of freedom on the other side. Kaidan wasn’t sure how long that would last - the act of stealing the Normandy alone, was enough to have all of the Alliance hunting for them – but they now had a bit of breathing room if they kept off the main flight paths.

When the relay jump ended, a cheer rose from the CIC, and Kaidan smiled. It was an elation he could appreciate, but it was short-lived. “Now the really hard work begins.”

He walked through the CIC with Rorie, Garrus beside him as he headed for the war-room. Wrex and Vega were waiting there, ready. Cael and Gardew were chatting to Teryck. Cortez and Jack then stepped out of the elevator, and Vega’s serious face turned the opposite at seeing his girl. Jack smirked back at him, happy to see him. Kaidan didn’t need distracted crew, yet when they both saw him, their expressions told him they were totally dedicated. Good.

Now they could begin the search for Terra.

Only the furious banging on the sealed doors broke his new focus. Mikhailovich. Shit.

**-o-O-o-**


	13. Chapter 13

Thurak grinned as the newsvids reported the defection of not only the two former human Spectres and the turian Executor, but also Urdnot Wrex.

He’d begun to get worried that it wouldn’t work out as he’d been assured that it would.

Wraith. Thurak didn’t know exactly who he was dealing with, but considering what they’d achieved so far, Thurak wondered if Wraith was a rising organisation. What their ultimate purpose was, was unclear, but they’d wanted salarians dead, and that had been good enough for him.

Thurak had been on the verge of pushing Wreav into a full-out takeover when Wrex had failed to return, but Wraith had urged him to wait. **Within 24 hours** , Wraith had messaged. And there it was for all the galaxy to see: Wrex fleeing the Citadel on the ship carrying a disgraced Alliance general, and presumably Shepard, too. Interesting…. Wraith was a powerful ally.

Sending the order to proceed to those he’d placed in charge of his packs spread throughout the galaxy, Thurak knew they would soon – finally - be on the cusp of krogan vengeance. He’d need to pull back his own forces and wait for Urdnot’s demise. Then, as the strongest clan, Jorgal could lead the others to war.

-o-O-o-

Hackett shifted on the crate, trying to get comfortable. It had been a long time since he’d had to rough it, and that time was laughing at him with each aching muscle.

Still, he wouldn’t complain. T’Soni had come through, and asides from the discomfort, Hackett was rather enjoying the peace. No constant calls and knocks distracting him from what he wanted to focus on. Having no control over the fleets for the first time was unsettling though.

An admiral with no ships to command. He wasn’t so sure what use he was to his family as just Steven Hackett.

But he wouldn’t choose to be anywhere else.

-o-O-o-

Waking had brought the unwelcome sight of the depressing grey cell with its taunting images of Kaidan, but Shepard was grateful that she’d been able to catch any sleep at all.

The pain caused by the control device was now reduced to nothing more than an ache, thanks to the spores, and she could still feel the tingle as they continued to build more defences against it. Her body was her own, though it still trembled as though traumatised, and her mind was her own. She vowed it would remain that way, and had rested while she could.

Rising shakily, Shepard begun working to stretch out her sore, tormented muscles.

That was how Balak and his men found her when they entered. If only she could have captured their faces when they saw her, standing strong, instead of being a snivelling wreck on the floor.

Guns were immediately raised, and more of them were called as they kept their distance. She wasn’t stupid enough to think she could take a single step without being shot, so she remained still as Balak stepped forward, studying her accusingly.

“How did you do it?”

“Do what?”

Balak sneered in irritation that she was feigning ignorance, and that was fine with her. He remained silent, refusing to resort to explaining himself when he knew she knew what he was referring to.

Instead, a second batarian stepped forward. Shepard hadn’t seen this one before, but he stood comfortably at Balak’s side so she guessed him to be Balak’s second-in-command. “How did you mess with the device without frying yourself?”

“I didn’t touch it.” It was the truth, though she doubted they’d believe it.

There was a long silence, but Shepard waited it out, eyes to eyes, until Balak finally spoke again. “Then we do it the old way. Bring her.”

Her instinct was to fight but she suppressed it as best she could as they bound her wrists and man-handled her out of the room and down the corridor. She took in what little she could. There was room after room, but no windows. Everything was lit by strip-lights on the low ceilings, and she was sure she could hear pained moans that got louder as they walked. They were about to walk past another door - the source of the noise - when Balak paused and entered.

Shepard was able to see that in the middle of a room much like the one she’d been in, a Shanti male was in the grip of a control device. A small puddle of blood slightly paler than her own, was still fresh on the ground.

“Which one is this?” Balak asked the batarian over-seeing the torture. Shepard recognised him as the one who had placed a blade to her son, and her jaw tightened as she bit down on the rage that demanded she gut the bastard.

“113.”

“One of those we took to the Citadel? You said he was conditioned.”

“I was certain he was. Then he tried to escape after he recovered from that stimulant we gave him for his debut in that alley, so I re-planted the device on him.”

Shepard looked at the poor suffering man who these batarians had reduced to nothing but a number. Was he the one who had posed as Kaidan?

“What about the other one with him?” continued Balak, and Shepard pushed away the unbidden face of the ‘other woman’ as it was branded into her brain. No matter that it had been this Shanti male and not Kaidan who had touched that female, there was still a nausea that rose up at the thought. An illogical feeling of betrayal. As psychological effects went, that one staged act was having a profound impact.

“049 remains completely servile.”

“Any word from our last ship?”

“They have 077. She was late, though. I’m wondering if we might have the same problem as we did with 113. You might want to look at this.”

On his omnitool, he brought up a frozen image of Kaidan outside a C-Sec office…holding Nate. Shepard’s breathing hitched in tune with her heartbeat. They knew Nate was alive, and that would be disastrous for Zaliesh.

Balak suddenly grabbed the batarian by the throat. “You told me their minds were ours. Tell me how she was able to defy me!”

“I don’t know. Maybe…” The batarian’s face had turned from smug to scared shitless the second he’d found himself at the end of Balak’s wrath, and his panicked eyes latched onto her. “She-She went into Shepard’s mind! Perhaps 077 absorbed something from _her_!”

Releasing the batarian who quickly stepped back to gain some distance, Balak turned to her with all that hatred, but she felt impervious to it. “Defiance. Did you taint _my_ slave, Shepard? Perhaps I should have foreseen that. These pathetic creatures are like sponges, and no-one can deny you have a strong will. You even come back from the afterlife.” He looked around at the men accompanying him. “Let’s find out how many times the great Shepard can die.”

-o-O-o-

“How dare you!” accused Mikhailovich as Wrex and Garrus marched him through the CIC. “This is kidnapping! You will never see the light of day once the Alliance hears of this, _General_! You’re a disgrace to the uniform!”

Kaidan sighed heavily as he walked behind them. What choice did he have except this? Stand still and watch while someone pulled all their strings? And the more he’d thought about it, the more he was sure he was right. “We’re all doing what we have to. Hopefully, you’ll soon see that I had to do this, for the good of everyone.”

“You really expect me to believe that this is to save us all from _another_ galaxy-threatening event? Do I look royally stupid? This is about your wife: an unstable soldier who’s murdered one of our own in a jealous pique over your scandalous indiscretion! And now you’ve let your personal feelings compromise your duty as a soldier!”

Mikhailovich was halted as they arrived at their destination, and Kaidan moved round to face him. “You may find this hard to believe, but I’m not so sure that what appears to have happened in my personal life isn’t all connected to what’s going on with the asari attacks, and maybe even the salarian attacks too. And if you can’t look at the bigger picture and see that something’s really wrong with _all_ of this, then the answer to your question is yes, you do look royally stupid.” He put his hand up to stop the admiral’s spluttering. “And forget what you’ve seen on those damn newsvids. Shepard is innocent, and she’s out there in need of help, and I will gladly face the Alliance’s punishment once I have found her and stopped whoever is behind these attacks that are trying to tear our alliances apart.”

He hit the door release, manoeuvred the admiral inside and sat him down. The admiral was about to argue again but faltered as he realised where he was. Pulling down the bars that would secure the admiral in his seat, Kaidan stepped out and released the pod, watching as it jettisoned the admiral into space. They were close to a colony, so if it wasn’t picked up by a passing ship in the meantime, it would automatically head to firm ground. Mikhailovich would be fine.

“I never would have done anything like that before I met Shepard,” he commented, quietly, as they started to return to the war-room. Kaidan smiled sadly. Meeting Terra had changed him in so many ways. She’d shown him that there was more to being a loyal soldier than following orders blindly. She served the people - her aim: always to protect them - and she had already proven that by doing what she felt necessary to achieve that, even at the cost of her career and freedom. On a more personal note, she’d dared him to be more than that inhibited man he used to be, who feared what he was capable of. The sum of all that meant he was now fully prepared to take on a whole galaxy – to save them from themselves, and for Terra.

It was his turn to step up, and he wouldn’t shrink from it.

“You were boring,” rumbled Wrex.

“Huh! I guess you’re right. I would only have ever _dreamed_ of doing that. Actually _doing_ it is much more satisfying.”

Wrex gave that deep, slow chuckle.

“Welcome to the other side. Vigilante Express,” said Garrus. “It’s fun over here. Just don’t lose sight of that line you crossed.”

When they entered the war-room it was to see Vega pulling away from Jack, whose face turned from soft to hard as she saw Kaidan.

“Not now, Bella,” murmured Vega, his hand at her waist, tugging her to him as though to anchor her at his side.

Kaidan briefly longed to be able to do that with Terra, until he shut down the wayward thought and focused, connecting to Liara.

They all circled around the war-room’s central console, Liara’s voice projected into the room.

“Liara, please tell me you have something on Shepard. A sighting, anything.”

“ _I am sorry, Kaidan. I need more data before I can search a galaxy: manifests with ship identities for any batarian vessels leaving the Citadel within that timeframe; a name; anything at all that could help to narrow the search_. _The Citadel’s security has been heightened considerably in the wake of Normandy’s escape, and my agents aren’t placed high enough to get me the access I need.”_

Kaidan hung his head, trying to recall the memory Zaliesh had planted there, but none of the batarians had spoken any names, and their faces were unclear, as though Zaliesh had made a conscious effort not to look directly at them. Even their leader was nothing but feet, or a chest. He could still feel her intense fear in their presence.

While he’d zoned out, Garrus voiced what Kaidan already knew. “There’s no way we’re getting our hands on those manifests without inside help.”

“What about Osoba?” asked Vega. “He helped before, no?”

“ _The human councillor has been removed from office by his counterparts with an over-ruling majority,_ ” said Liara _. “From what I have gathered, it appears that Sparatus wasn’t fully supportive of the move, though._ ”

Guilt surfaced. By helping them, Osoba’s career had been ended, possibly permanently. That would also have a knock-on effect for humanity, too. Another wedge between them all, but this time they’d done it to themselves.

“Maybe the turian councillor could be talked round then,” suggested Cortez, but his face said he didn’t really believe it was likely.

Kaidan shook his head. “The turians have been implicated in the bombings of eight prime asari stations, alongside humanity. Sparatus will be under pressure to distance himself from the Alliance and to reinforce his solidarity with the asari and salarians.”

“He certainly won’t risk doing anything that could be construed as aiding _us_ ,” said Garrus, backing Kaidan’s statement.

“Pendejo politicians,” muttered Vega, and there was a nod of consensus from every head surrounding the console.

“So that’s it?” Jack banged her fists down on the console in anger. “We can’t do a fucking thing to find Shepard? What the hell was all this for?”

“We’re still working things out, Jack,” reasoned Kaidan. “We’ll find a way. I won’t give up on her.”

“This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t been out fucking someone else,” seethed Jack, and shame leeched the blood from Kaidan’s face leaving him feeling sick in the awful awkward silence that ensued. He wished to hell he could flat-out deny it.

It was Garrus that saved him. “Wait a minute. We _do_ have an insider: Bailey. Kasumi, did you get that evidence?”

Only Kaidan wasn’t surprised by the appearance of Kasumi, and clearly Garrus had cottoned on quickly to the thief’s surreptitious ways.

“Is that a serious question?” Kasumi’s hands were on her hips.

“More of a prompt for you to transfer the file to Normandy,” Garrus said, diplomatically. “Edi, I’m thinking this is your forte.”

Edi gave a slight nod. “Data received. Analysing.”

Though it took mere seconds, Kaidan felt impatient as he waited for her to process the new information.

“There _is_ evidence of tampering.”

“No surprise here,” commented Garrus.

“The biometrics readings that were taken at the time the accounts were opened, were not input by organic means.”

“What does that mean? How can you get someone’s biometric reading any other way?” asked Kaidan.

“Hey, whose side are you on?” ribbed Garrus.

“Just being a devil’s advocate.”

Edi was ready to explain. “A biometric reading is converted at point of contact into data that corresponds with each defining feature such as the fingerprints and lines on the hand, and so on, until it has a complete statistical blueprint. However, when I looked closely at the point of contact, where it should have recorded the process of measuring those features, it was in fact entered directly as the data it needed. This can only have been done by a computer. When the detective had cause to ascertain the owner of that data, Citadel records would have provided him with your identity.”

“How could they have gotten that data?” Kaidan asked Garrus.

“C-Sec has access to all biometrics of known criminals. That database also holds every officers’ too, for elimination purposes at crime scenes. Maybe it was hacked, though an attempt should have raised an alert. Or maybe I was wrong about Tavitus and he _was_ involved.”

“Regardless, this is something we can prove,” said Kaidan, seizing this one thread of hope towards getting a lead on Terra. “Edi, can you break this down clearly into a file and send it to the Council?”

“Get it to Tavitus, as well,” added Teryck. “I’m inclined to agree with Garrus’ initial assessment of the detective. Naïve, arrogant, but resolute in performing his duty.”

Garrus nodded. “I’d like to see what he does when he’s faced with the truth. It’ll say a lot as to whether he’s behind it.”

“So, once this is proven to be a frame, Bailey and Kolyat will be released, and we’ll have our inside help,” muttered James. “Can we work out who’s behind this false evidence? It may be another avenue to Shepard.”

“There _is_ a signature left behind,” confirmed Edi, “but it is not one that I am familiar with.”

“ _Would you send it to me, Edi?_ ” Liara asked. “ _I will run it through my own databases and see if I can find a match.”_

“Done.”

Kaidan ran a hand over his mouth. Frustratingly tiny steps, but it was better than nothing. “Any news on what’s happening amongst the other races since we bolted?”

“ _Everything’s focused on you, Shepard and Normandy at the moment,_ ” said Liara _. “It is the general belief that you freed Shepard, somehow got her aboard Normandy, and then went back for Garrus before you both stole Normandy with the help of Wrex. I am picking up some worrying reactions to Wrex’s departure, though._ ”

“We can confirm that,” said Cael.

“Yes. Unfortunately so,” concurred Gardew. “There is talk that the first sign of renewed attacks will prompt swift action.”

“If Shepard’s concerns are correct-“

“And we believe they are-“

“Then the real perpetrators will use Urdnot Wrex’s flight to continue their attacks.”

“Clan Urdnot will instantly become the primary target of salarian retaliation.”

“Figured as much,” rumbled Wrex, interrupting Cael before he could take over from Gardew. “But I think we all know that something would have happened eventually, regardless of whether I stayed or not.”

“ _True,”_ offered Liara _. “You asked me to look into Jorgal Thurak. He has a lot of off-planet communications. More than you’d expect. They were all encrypted, but I was able to trace some of the destinations. All of those I tracked were to known Blood Pack territories. I believe Thurak’s the head of the Blood Pack._ ”

“So he has whole groups at his disposal outside of Tuchanka. Interesting, considering recent events,” said Garrus. “We should get this to the Council, too.”

“I’m not so sure what good it will do,” said Kaidan. “Whichever clan it is, krogan are behind it. The Council were trying to appear reasonable by attributing it to a specific rogue clan, but in reality they know what will happen if they strike. An attack by the salarians on _any_ clan will have the same effect: full-out war with _all_.”

“Just as Thurak wants,” muttered Wrex.

“ _I have also been advised by Bakara that Thurak brought his clan to Urdnot’s borders shortly after her arrival_.”

“What?” Wrex growled.

“Because you didn’t react the way he wanted?” guessed Garrus.

“Then all he’ll get is a clan war,” stated Wrex. “Urdnot will fight to the death.”

“ _He is not attacking,”_ said Liara _. “Apparently, it is a move of alliance. Against the salarians and any who join them.”_

“Bakara won’t accept that.”

“ _No. But you have a contender for Urdnot’s throne. Wreav_.”

“Impossible! Wreav was killed by Kalros herself.”

“ _He survived_.”

Wrex paced in agitation at that, and Kaidan remembered Terra saying that Wrex’s brood-brother had fallen to the ‘mother of all thresher maws’. Kaidan had to admit he was happy to have missed that one, and he could only boggle at how Terra had made it through that.

“Wreav may hold the same stupid philosophy as Thurak, but he’d never ally with Jorgal,” concluded Wrex.

“ _Bakara believes it is likely Wreav was held by Jorgal during his recovery, and was probably brain-washed at a time when he would have been in considerable pain_ _\- his mind and body weak.”_

That got Wrex’s attention, and he swung to look directly at Kaidan. “That’s going to be a problem if I don’t go back. A krogan who has survived Kalros would earn immediate respect – far more than a female or a tank-bred.”

“Except going back isn’t going to make much difference to the clans now. Whether you’re on Tuchanka or not, those attacks will resume and when the council races react, even your own clan will expect you to stand up against them.”

His hands fisting, Wrex looked thoroughly pissed. “I’m going to tear Thurak apart with my bare hands.”

Trying to follow all these threads back to a single point had Kaidan running his hands over his face. “But this can’t be connected to the batarians abduction of Terra. Could it? But then the asari attacks linked me and my squads. There can’t be two factions messing with us. It has to be connected. Somehow.”

“ _Aeythta says the station attacks have got the matriarchs on the defensive,_ ” said Liara _. “They’re shoring their borders and removing their vessels from human and turian territories. The salarian and krogan dispute is also dividing us. I agree: it’s quite a coincidence that this is happening all at once_.”

“ _Daddy_?”

Looking up, that lovely little voice coming through the comms made Kaidan smile, defying the heavy atmosphere and bringing a lightness to them all. “What do you need, honey?”

“ _Uncle Joker needs to know where we’re going. ‘Cos he can’t fly ‘round space forever, daddy!”_

“ _Uh, you weren’t meant to say that last bit_ ,” hushed Joker.

“ _But that’s what you said_.”

Ignoring the groan from Joker, Kaidan chewed on that, quickly realising he had no plan at all, and the pressure in that moment was immense. Joker was right: they couldn’t remain in-flight. With fuel depots largely monitored, they needed to reserve as much as possible. They simply didn’t have free rein anymore.

“ _If I may make a suggestion,_ ” said Liara. The centre-piece of the console morphed as Liara sent a location to Normandy which Edi then visualised. “ _There is a disused stretch of land on Terra Nova. I will pass the coordinates to Joker. It was previously used to dismantle Reaper materials and has yet to be addressed, but the routes set up to transport that material to and from the cities are still open._ ”

A quiet place right on one of their own planets…. “It would keep us in the vicinity until we have a destination, and Normandy can get us in undetected.”

“It also means we’re not far from the main city, so getting supplies should be easy,” added Cortez.

“ _Admiral Hackett is also currently on route to Terra Nova. He will want to join you._ ”

Hackett had mentioned things were closing in on him too, but it was still a shock to know the admiral would also be on the wrong side of the Alliance. Kaidan made the decision. “Take us to Terra Nova, co-pilot Rorie.”

There was a giggle. “ _Aye, aye, daddy Gen’al_.”

Relieved that his daughter was having fun, Kaidan knew he needed to go check on Nate. “Okay. I think we’re done here for now.”

“ _I will meet you there,”_ said Liara. _“We can discuss this further then. I think you all need some rest._ ”

As she signed off, and the others filed out, Kaidan knew that Liara wouldn’t be taking her own advice. She would be busy looking for any little thing that could give them answers. Not that he blamed her; he couldn’t relax knowing Terra was in batarian hands. Yet as restless as he felt, his hands were resting tauntingly idle on the console in front of him. They should be holding a gun, ready to place a bullet in the heads of those who had dared to enter his family’s home with the intent of killing his son and taking his wife.

Every second that passed pained him. Time was against them. Terra had been taken too long ago, enduring things he didn’t want to imagine, and he still had no idea where to look.

-o-O-o-

Aria stood on her balcony over-looking all of Afterlife. This was where she found her peace: in the strong beats so loud they vibrated through her and filled her head with its noise; the sensual swaying of feminine bodies that moved like the music itself controlled their movements. This place was a chaotic feast for the senses, and she loved it.

Yet every now and then, business invaded, irritating the hell out of her.

She turned to the human male she despised, who was waiting five paces away, prevented from occupying her space by her people. Casually, she sat herself down on the sofa, taking her time to get comfortable, her leg crossing over the other as she lounged back, placing her arms stretching out along the back of the seating.

“Vosque. Tell me why I have eight Alliance ships docked in my bays.” And they _were_ hers now. As were every inanimate object and living soul on _her_ station.

The Blue Suns leader just gave her that smirk like he thought it would have her falling at his feet begging for a fuck. Her skin crawled. “Just a recent requisition. Nothing for you to worry about.”

Aria reached for her glass and sipped the wine, savouring its taste. Made by the monastery’s ardat-yakshi, it was one of the last bottles in existence now that its inhabitants had been cured. A shame.

“Not for _me_ to worry about, no. But should their presence attract unwanted attention from the Alliance, then there will be nowhere on Omega that you can hide from me.”

Vosque tried to hide it, but she’d scared him. Of course she had; she meant every word, and it would give her great pleasure. Yet even she knew that there had to be an insult delivered before she could bring down her might and dispose of the creep. There were rules, even for the Queen of Omega; a sense of fairness that brought her loyalty from those closest to her. But cross her, and her punishment was swift and lethal. It was a message that most understood, and those that didn’t wouldn’t last long.

With a flick of her wrist, Vosque was escorted out, but Aria found her thoughts lingering on what purpose Vosque had in appropriating Alliance vessels. It was foolish, even for him.

“Bray. Get me answers.”

Her quiet but vigilant batarian didn’t need further explanation, and that was why she kept him around. He was one of the few that didn’t irritate her.

Rising with eloquence, Aria once more stood to watch over her domain.

-o-O-o-

Gasping as she emerged from unconsciousness, the air passing painfully through Shepard’s inflamed airways. Immediately, she had to cough, to expel the last vestiges of ice-cold water that had forced its way down to her lungs. Her heart beat horrendously hard in her chest.

When the shadow fell over her, Shepard found it hard to quell the panic. She was still strapped down, and Balak still had the wet cloth held in his hand. Not again. After the third time, she’d lost any capacity to count how many more times he’d placed that cloth over her face before pouring the freezing water over her face until her body and mind gave up their fight, and finally the pain vanished with the onset of death. But each time they’d brought her back, and once the batarian with only three working eyes had given her the medical all-clear, they’d started again.

That same batarian stepped up again, his omnitool running over her. When he closed it, Shepard could hear her rasping breath quicken, and she tried to calm it, but her fear refused to listen as she waited for that nod.

When the batarian shook his head, Shepard desperately fought back the tears of relief. If Balak saw them he would do it again, regardless. Instead, he threw down the cloth and bent over her.

“Ten deaths, Shepard. Impressive. I would keep going, but the doctor here says your heart won’t take another, and I don’t want you dead yet.”

He indicated for her to be released, and when the ties were cut and she was dragged off the table, Shepard found her fatigued body unable to support her, her head spinning.

“Ready to submit to me now, Shepard?”

Submit? The word rippled through her dizzy mind. It focused her through waves of anger. She would never submit – not to this terrorist; not to the man who would have killed her son. Her voice was too offended to make more than a whisper, so Shepard didn’t try to speak.

Gathering her feet beneath her, she pushed herself up, wavering on legs that threatened to send her plummeting back to the ground. She couldn’t do anything to still the shaking in her limbs, but she was standing. It was a silent ‘no’.

Balak’s eyes ticked just enough to tell her it got to him. “Then the fun’s just begun.” He turned to one of his men. “Get a pit dug out in the main chamber. You’ve got six hours. And tell Dravet I want 113 ready by then for a live varren feeding. I’m grabbing some sleep, but you,” he pointed to another, “will be making sure that _she_ doesn’t get a single second.”

“Yes, Sir.”

When Balak disappeared she was returned to her cell, only this time she had a guard standing over her. Okay. She could handle that.

Shepard knew she needed to work out the constant tremor that the water-boarding had placed within her. It was like a physical manifestation of the shock, though much of it was also psychological. But she had to shake it.

Ignoring her watcher, she began stretching out muscles in preparation of a basic workout.

Six hours and she’d be in a situation involving a pit and varren. Balak may not want her dead yet, but he was going to make her fight for every second she defied his control.

-o-O-o-

The ship had been docked for an hour, but Hackett knew to wait in place. Eating the last bite of the ration bar, he then yawned. He needed a bed.

Footsteps had him tensing.

“Admiral.”

Relaxing, Hackett stood with a wince and stepped out to face Jakes, the man who had gotten him aboard.

“We’re good to go, Sir. The Shadow Broker has arranged a small transport shuttle to take you to your final destination. I’ll take you to it now.”

“Thank you.”

Jakes then handed him a jacket to cover the uniform he wore that screamed ‘admiral’, along with a cap. Picking up a small crate, Jakes passed it to Hackett and then grabbed another for himself. Time to play the part of a dock-worker.

When they stepped out it was to a dock that was on night-shift. Lights were set low, and personnel were few. Hackett kept his head down and walked beside Jakes. A long bank of windows gave Hackett his first glimpse of Terra Nova’s main city, Scott. The last time he had been here was before the Reaper invasion, and the skyline was very different now, though there was little sign of the devastation wrought.

Then they were out on the streets, and Hackett could hear the sound of people exiting restaurants and enjoying the warmth of the evening off in the distance.

Coming to a building housing an independent shuttle service, Jakes carried on past the main doors and turned into the alley that offered them a side door, and knocked. It was opened almost immediately and they were ushered in by a woman.

“This way.”

There were no introductions or wasted words, and she led them through the back directly to the shuttles. When she indicated the shuttle they were leaving on, Jakes placed his crate aboard and Hackett did the same. The woman sighed with what Hackett could only equate to an emotional relief.

“Bless you. You have no idea what this means to me.”

Hackett looked at the boxes. “What did I just carry here?”

“Medicine. My son has a rare disease and we were told it was too expensive to even research for a drug that could help him. The next thing I knew Jakes here turned up at my door and said that the Shadow Broker could help in return for the occasional use of our shuttles. I took the offer instantly. I’ll gladly take you, Sir, and no-one will hear anything from me about it, no matter what you’ve done.”

Hackett’s brow quirked in amusement at that. “I’m no criminal on the run, I assure you.” He removed the cap and offered his hand. “Steven Hackett.”

“Hackett! Oh, my word!” She nearly curtsied before she stopped herself. “Sorry, I- I just- I wasn’t expecting…. I’ll shut up now. Let’s go.”

“Admiral, I say goodbye here,” said Jakes, and he saluted. “Good luck, Sir.”

“I appreciate it.”

Entering the shuttle which was already starting up, Hackett grinned at the makeshift bed that had been set up inside. Bless the Shadow Broker indeed.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan placed Nate gently in the middle of the bed, and asides from a soft sigh, his son remained asleep. Enraptured by the little face of innocence, Kaidan was happy to take the time to absorb the sight, running his finger beneath Nate’s tiny ones. They clutched his automatically, and Kaidan smiled.

The swish of the cabin’s bathroom door opening broke the moment, and Kaidan was ready with a shushing finger to his mouth before Rorie could wake her brother. But she exited with an impressively big, long yawn, and he went to collect her up as she stood there rubbing her eyes with Puppy dangling from one hand.

“Busy day, huh?” he said quietly.

“Uh huh. Puppy’s tired.”

“Not you?”

“Nope.” She yawned again, then frowned. “Will we find mommy tomorrow?”

Kaidan was hit with an incredible fear. “I… I don’t know, honey. I wish I did. But let’s get some sleep now, okay?”

“’Kay.” She settled carefully into the bed beside Nate, then placed her toy next to him. “Puppy will keep the bad people away from Nate.”

Startled, Kaidan perched himself on the edge of the bed and smoothed back her hair from her lovely face. “What bad people?”

“I don’t know. But he was upset. It’s in his head.”

Blinking back the emotion that rose up at that, Kaidan stroked his hand over Nate’s head.

“Don’t worry, daddy. I gave him a head cuddle.”

Kaidan had to grin at that. “A head cuddle?”

“Uh huh.” She reached up and gave him a hug. “It’s like a real cuddle, but with my thoughts instead of my arms. It’s what mommy gives me and Nate all the time. It’s all warm and makes me all super-happy inside,” she grinned. Then there was a little frown. “But mommy can’t do that for Nate now, so I did it instead.”

For the second time, Kaidan was fighting back tears. He missed Terra. “I didn’t know she did that. That’s beautiful, honey. And it was a lovely thing for you to do for your brother.”

Rorie smiled, then yawned again, so Kaidan opened up her VI, Moon, so she could pick a story. Knowing she wouldn’t last past the first paragraph, Kaidan began reading.

Rorie was asleep after the second sentence, and he closed Moon, kissed her forehead, and looked at the two wonderful lives he’d created with Terra. He loved them with everything he had.

The four of them were a unit, and they were incomplete until they had Terra back.

**-o-O-o-**


	14. Chapter 14

“ _Do you have any idea what you’ve done by dragging three innocent law officers - your superiors - through this crap? How this makes me look for endorsing it!?”_

Bailey paused outside Sparatus’s office and grinned at Kolyat as they listened to the councillor reaming Tavitus.

“ _I can only apologise, Councill_ -“

“ _I don’t want your damn apologies! I want you to find out who made a fool of you!_ ”

“You know, I actually feel a little sorry for the kid,” muttered Bailey.

“I don’t,” retorted Kolyat, looking exhausted through lack of sleep. “Kalisa’s been through hell because of that idiot.”

Bailey patted the young man’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get this over with. We’ve got work to do.”

They entered the office and Sparatus stood. “Commander Bailey. Lieutenant Krios. You both have my sincerest apology for this…unfortunate error.”

Bailey scratched at his unshaven chin, suddenly feeling as dishevelled as he must look. “I’m just relieved it’s over.”

“Yes…well…you can thank Vakarian for that. It’s just a shame he had to break out of his cell and fight through his own men in order to escape, to be able to present the truth. At some point your detective here forgot he had a duty to prove guilt _beyond any doubt_.”

 _Your_ _detective_. Bailey made an effort not to shake his head at the councillor’s not-so-subtle distancing. “I’m thinking he won’t be making the same mistake twice,” said Bailey. The young turian looked like he was shell-shocked as it was.

“You’re more forgiving than I would be in your place,” admitted Sparatus, flashing a disapproving look at Tavitus. “You’ll work with Commander Bailey and Lieutenant Krios to do what you can to rectify your offense against them. I want to know who set this up and what this person or group gained by getting those closely associated with Admiral Shepard off the streets. Considering everything that’s happened, I’m feeling uncomfortable about this whole damn thing.”

Bailey found that interesting. It sounded like the councillor was waking up to a few truths.

“Then we need to start with Detective Tavitus,” said Kolyat, and Bailey nearly chuckled at the glare sent Tavitus’ way, who straightened under the drell’s scrutiny.

“You’ll have my full co-operation, Lieutenant,” replied Tavitus.

“I got the impression that there’s a broker out there who’s already on the case,” said Bailey. As tight-knit as Shepard’s people were, he was certain Dr T’Soni would be all over this. And as this mess started here on the Citadel, Bailey imagined he could be useful to them now the Citadel was a no-go zone for the two Spectres. “I should make a call and see what info she’s already gained. Get us a head-start.” Not to mention that he’d really like to know what the heck was going on.

“Commander Bailey,” said Sparatus, gaining his attention. “Should you at any time discern the whereabouts of Shepard and Alenko, as well as Vakarian, I would remind you that you have a duty to inform us immediately.”

“Councillor,” was all Bailey replied before he left with Kolyat and Tavitus in tow. _Not a chance in hell._

-o-O-o-

There was loud jeering as Shepard was led from those depressing grey corridors into what Balak had referred to as the main chamber. A horde of batarians were clustered in a near-circle, and she estimated their number at around eighty. Their unfriendly gazes were locked on her, and those she passed either pushed or tried to trip her. At one point she was shoved hard enough to send her into another batarian, who punched out at her. It was a glancing blow that did nothing more than split her lip and she spat the blood to the floor at his feet.

Ignoring the hostility aimed at her, Shepard tried to take in this new environment. Unlike the cells and passageways which she’d come from, this large space looked like a naturally-formed cavern. Here the ground was dry, dusty dirt, and the air was thick with the disturbed earth from the deep pit that had been dug into the cave floor. What she couldn’t see was any sign of natural light from the three other tunnels that led off from this main chamber.

At the batarians’ feet, bowed in submission, were Shanti males and females, their bodies almost completely caked in the soil they’d been forced to excavate.

One of those males was segregated from the rest, and dressed in a grey jumpsuit. This was the Shanti she’d seen earlier, and he shook from the after-effects of the control device, dried blood on his neck. Shepard felt for him; her own experience had lasted enough for her to know how debilitating it was.

Her last trial had left a hollow inside her, as though every time she’d succumbed to the drowning and they’d restarted her heart, a little piece of her had failed to come back. She was reminded of how she’d felt when she’d looked into the mirror of her cabin after Horizon and wondered what it was staring back at her. Only this time, it was the act of dying in the knowledge that she’d be going through it all again soon, which had dug out the dark, empty space within her.

She was stopped at the edge of the pit beside the Shanti male, and forced to her knees beside him. They released her hands, comfortable that their numbers would deter her from what would be a suicidal escape attempt. Able to see within the pit, she saw the single large varren within, that paced with agitation, growling up at the noisy spectators.

Cameras fed back images from inside the pit, to large screens for those at the back to see. The worst kind of entertainment.

The atmosphere was a disgusting mix of angry loathing, morbid anticipation, and the misery of oppression.

As Balak stepped up and began a tirade she wasn’t interested in listening to, Shepard shifted just enough so that her fingertips brushed the Shanti male’s. He was startled at first, then relaxed, though his fingers shook terribly.

Not fully understanding how this worked, Shepard tried to send him something comforting. She felt the connection soon after, tentative, and as gentle as Zaliesh.

 _Varush._ His name. It was a whisper, just like Zaliesh’s. There were images similar to those Zaliesh had shown her. The deep sorrow inside him was almost too much, and his fear of the batarians penetrated to his core. _The Masters._ This was a man who was losing what little hope he’d maintained that he could be what he once was: free.

_Hold on, Varush. Don’t give up yet._

_I am to die. To feed the beast. Shanti do not fight. We blend, we mimic to stay alive._

And he couldn’t do that clothed as he was. It was why the batarians had made him dress, and Varush wouldn’t get the chance to remove them.Shepard wanted to assure him further, but Balak had finished, and she wasn’t so sure there was anything she could do to stop what was going to happen.

“Shepard. Let’s see how you fare against a varren with nothing but a blade.” Balak twirled a small, dulled blade in his hand, and for the first time she was actually offended. “But first, 113 will fill its belly. Then _you’ll_ just be something for it play with.” Yep, definitely offended.

“Sounds familiar.” Her voice croaked from her raw throat.

Balak ignored her and moved behind Varush. Shepard knew what was coming next and she was ready for it. When Balak thrust his foot into Varush’s back to send him toppling into the pit, Shepard threw herself forward with him.

There was a heightened excitement above them as she and Varush hit the ground, but Shepard was instantly rolling to her feet, focused on the varren whose muscles were visibly coiling to strike. “Varush! Hide!” She didn’t need to look. Shepard could hear the rustle of clothes as he followed her order and tore them off. Then the varren was launching itself at him before he could fade.

Spinning to put her weight behind it, Shepard struck her fist into its eye, its fangs just missing Varush. Though it yelped, it quickly recovered, and with the only thing giving Varush’s position away being the control device that appeared to float in mid-air, the varren was now fixed on the threat she’d made of herself.

All she could do was raise her left arm up to prevent it getting anything vital. The varren’s fangs sank into her flesh, making her grit her teeth against the pain, but Shepard immediately threw herself back, using its weight to give her the momentum to carry on through and catapult it over her head and onto its back.

Just like her, its instinct was to right itself, and it had to let go of her fore-arm in order to do it. Its fangs sliced through more of her flesh as they withdrew, making her wince.

Shepard jumped to her feet. Above, Balak was shouting for someone to get a visor to keep track of ‘113’. She flexed the hand of her damaged arm, the blood dripping steadily off her fingertips. Thankfully, everything was still working.

Then the varren was springing again, fangs aimed at her throat. Shepard kicked up as hard as she could, her foot connecting under its jaw. Its teeth snapped together as its head was sent upwards, its body somersaulting so the animal landed on its back with a yelp. It started to twist to get itself upright, but Shepard leapt forward onto its back before it could get its legs beneath it, grabbed those fangs which were red with her blood, and used them as leverage, yelling out loud as she put all her strength into yanking its head to the side with one swift jolt, and breaking its neck.

Loud, disapproving booing filled the air, but Shepard was only looking at Balak, who stood staring in at her.

“You think you’ve saved him, Shepard?”

The crowd of batarians laughed scornfully at that.

Shepard looked at Varush as his skin returned to normal. She hadn’t thought beyond knowing she wasn’t prepared to kneel there and watch him be torn to pieces. What happened next was out of her hands, so she shrugged as nonchalantly as she could manage. “I didn’t need the varren fed, or a blade, to be able to kill it.”

Balak removed a pistol and Shepard instinctively moved in front of Varush. The batarian leader smirked. “Just like Alenko. Protecting the weak. You wouldn’t be here now had he chosen to stop me leaving that asteroid instead of staying to save three pointless humans. And I’ve killed so many more since then. Tell me, was it worth it?”

“Yes. Three people are alive because of him. He’s not to blame for what you chose to do after.”

Balak shook his head in derision. “Truly pathetic. There’s no place for sentiment in war.”

“We’re not at war. And you’re saying that you’d sacrifice your people so readily if you’d been in that position? What if those people had been your family?”

His nose creased as her words rankled. He pulled a Shanti female to her feet with a vice-like grip round her neck. “You like them, Shepard? This pitiful race that do nothing but cower?”

“They’re a gentle people who have developed amazing defences. You had no right to destroy their innocence.”

“Innocence.” Balak laughed. “Their eyes were closed, and we opened them. This is the way of life. The strong control the weak.”

“It’s the _batarian_ way of life. And these people aren’t weak just because they’re pacific. They were surviving just fine before you invaded their world.”

“We’ve given them a higher purpose than scurrying around like frightened prey.” He gave her a hard look that chilled her. It was the look she’d seen every time he’d been about to put that wet cloth over her face. Her heart beat faster in her chest because of it. He pressed the gun into the woman’s temple. “But because you defied me to save one, ten will now die.”

With a nod to someone she couldn’t see, nine other Shanti were lined up at the edge of the pit. With his eyes locked on hers, Balak’s finger tightened on the trigger, and Shepard closed her eyes as he fired, followed by nine other shots.

The sound of the bodies thudding lifelessly onto the pit floor were like heavy boulders in her gut. She heard Varush slide to the ground behind her, and she didn’t need to make contact with him to know the grief he was experiencing. When she opened her eyes, it was to a sight she’d seen many times, but was no less affected by. This was what she fought against: senseless death at someone else’s whim. They had no right.

“Balak. The ship’s docking.” That came from his Second.

“Good. The rest of you get back to work. Take Shepard back to her cell with her new pet. Be sure to resume conditioning him. I want 077 brought there, too.” He was about to turn away when he paused. “And string Shepard up. It’s time she got acquainted with my favourite tool.”

There was that look again. It was pure evil intent, and Shepard found it hard to repress the panic – an after-effect from the last time she was bound, helpless against this cruel man.

Somehow, whatever was coming, she had to stay strong.

-o-O-o-

The entry into Terra Nova’s orbit was trouble-free, and they were lucky enough to have caught the last minutes of the planet’s night, reducing the chance of anyone witnessing their descent. Not that the remoteness of the area made that likely anyway.

Even as Joker was powering the engines down, Kaidan could see the horizon brightening with the rise of the sun, and along with Edi they silently watched as it gradually unveiled their surroundings.

What they could see in the distance was a blanket of forest, untouched and thriving; the flocks of birds rising up in union as if celebrating the light at the first opportunity. But that was in stark contrast to the area they sat on. Here, the ground was black from the intense heat which had once been used to dissolve the Reaper materials, both synthetic and organic. It cut an unnatural, bleak and dead path through the landscape - a Reaper graveyard, hidden away by those desperate to forget.

Then Joker yawned and Kaidan caught it, his hand rising to cover his mouth at the involuntary display. “Did you get any sleep, Joker?”

“I managed a couple of hours. Don’t pretend _you_ got any shut-eye over the last few hours.”

Kaidan felt a little relief to know that Joker still cared enough to get that information from Edi. “I just can’t,” he admitted.

Joker was nodding solemnly in response.

“May I suggest you visit with Dr Chakwas?” said Edi. “Sleep deprivation in organics can result in slow thought processes and reactions. I would anticipate this to be an undesirable state.”

Running his fingertips over his tired eyes, Kaidan could only nod at the sense in that. He would head to the medbay, but not for a sedative. Liara would be here at any moment and he needed to be alert. The only place he intended to head was the war-room to study any scrap of information she might bring with her.

As Joker stood to leave, Edi reached for the console. “Shuttle incoming. Message received. It is Liara.”

Even though Edi was capable of handling it, Joker sat back down and opened the bay door, and as soon as Kaidan could see its approach, he made his way down to the medbay.

He expected ‘the look’ from Chakwas when he told her what he wanted.

“Kaidan-“

“Doc, please. I can’t rest right now.”

After a long, pained pause, Chakwas finally reached for the stim. “Promise me that as soon as you’ve liaised with Liara, as soon as you have a plan of action, you’ll come back here and let me help you switch off for a while.”

Kaidan sighed. “I’ve got the kids-“

“They’ll be fine. There’s not a person on board who wouldn’t be happy to look after them. It makes us all feel a little better knowing we can do that small thing for Shepard. That and they’re both so adorable.” Chakwas smiled but there was fear behind it.

Kaidan knew what it was. As a doctor she would have seen first-hand the injuries sustained by those in hostile batarian hands. “Doc…how bad-?”

“No. I won’t go there, and it does no-one any good to think about such things.” She injected the stim into his bloodstream. “Now go find her.”

Leaving the medbay with the image of the distressed doctor raking its way down his insides, Kaidan tried to put it aside. He could feel the stim working, giving him an energy he sorely needed. In contradiction to what was happening within him, Kaidan saw Joker on his way to crew quarters, so demoralised it was reflected in his whole bearing.

Once in the elevator, Kaidan found the quiet unsettling. It was rare for him to be on Normandy when she slept, and it felt wrong not to have that comforting purr in the background that you didn’t even notice until it wasn’t there anymore.

When the doors opened, Kaidan could already hear the shuttle retreating. Liara was making her way towards him, while Cortez was dealing with the crates she’d brought with her, so Kaidan waited in place.

“Supplies for the children,” explained Liara, as she stepped in beside him.

“I appreciate that. How’s Eden?”

“She is well.” There was a hint of softness as she spoke of her daughter, but Liara stared straight ahead as though the metal of the doors deserved her attention more.

“And you?”

Liara’s face said it all. “Worried. But I am not the one that matters here.” Her clipped voice conveyed that she wasn’t interested in pleasantries. “How could you?”

Kaidan dropped his head as his shame demanded. “I don’t-“

But the doors opened on the CIC revealing Garrus waiting there. “About time. Come on.” Garrus began ushering them both out. “All of this has been lurking in my head all night and I really need some answers.”

As he and Liara trailed into the war-room on Garrus’ heels, Kaidan barely dared hope for those answers.

“I have found a link to those responsible for planting the false evidence against you, Garrus,” started Liara. “That same signature was left behind after a money laundering operation that filtered credits from casinos-“

“Stealing from a distance?” snorted Kasumi, and she appeared, sitting casually on the console. “That’s lame. Where’s the thrill if you’re not _there_ , beating the system while right under their noses?”

“Can’t you just walk around like a normal person?” Garrus asked.

“Where’s the fun in that? I get all sorts of juicy information when people don’t know I’m there. Did you know that Traynor has a bizarre hygiene routine that borders on OCD? And Serviceman Kingsley has a birthmark that looks like a krogan’s head, right on his-“

“Okay, that’s more than a sane person needs to know. This is going to come as a shock,” said Garrus, getting them back on track, “but most thieves simply do it for the credits.”

“No respect for the art,” complained Kasumi. “That’s why they got caught. So who are these poor excuses for thieves?”

Liara tapped at her omnitool, interfacing with the console. “Eclipse. My agents believe this asari is leading those on the Citadel, but she is little more than a shadow even to her own people, and I cannot get a name, or a track on her.”

Garrus looked at Kaidan. “I don’t get it. I can see them getting pissed at _me_ – I’ve taken down enough of their operations to irritate them - but how does that tie into Shepard and the batarian angle?”

“I have no idea.” Kaidan felt incredibly pointless then. Everything was happening around him and he couldn’t put the pieces together so they fit. He needed a lead to those batarians so he could finally be useful again.

Garrus studied the face of the asari Liara had presented. “I don’t recognise her but I’m not out on the streets much these days. I’ll run her by Bailey, see if he can’t give us what we’re missing.”

“Anything on these batarians?” Kaidan asked Liara, getting to what he wanted to know the most.

“Bailey and Kolyat are currently getting me footage of the area around your apartment during the time we believe Shepard was taken. I’m expecting that any time.”

Pressing his lips together to bite back the curse, Kaidan wanted to be racing off. Instead he was waiting.

-o-O-o-

Bailey was scrolling through the large number of incidents that had occurred on the Citadel while he’d been locked in one of his own cells, looking for any little thing that could add to the puzzle; incidents with batarians or Eclipse being top of his list.

At another desk, Kolyat closed down another hours-worth of footage from the Strip and loaded up the next. His dedication was impressive. He’d barely been home for a half hour to reassure his wife and cuddle his kid before he’d headed back here. Bailey knew the boy was worried about Shepard.

Beside Kolyat sat Tavitus, and he hadn’t wavered, either. The turian had something to prove and Bailey agreed with Garrus over his innocence, not that Kolyat had been content until he’d questioned Tavitus relentlessly.

Then a report caught Bailey’s eye - Alenko’s name like a beacon - and he read it through carefully, which was concerning enough until he saw it was connected to another report. By the time he’d read the second incident report Bailey was about ready to swear out loud. He needed to call Alenko.

“Commander.”

“Tell me some good news, Tavitus.”

“I’ve found it.”

Both Bailey and Kolyat were instantly hanging over the detective’s shoulder, staring at the screen. Kolyat had already found the footage showing the batarians entering the apartment about ten minutes or so before Garrus was stopped by Tavitus. The detective had fidgeted self-consciously in his seat, and Bailey had sensed he was also angry about being used. Since then he’d been doggedly staring at his screen, until he’d found more batarians entering, then continuing the search with Kolyat for the time those batarians exited so they could finally get a visual of the batarians faces.

And there they were. Shepard was barely visible, surrounded by the group so tightly it was evident they were supporting her. They couldn’t have gotten a soldier like Shepard out into the open without risking her causing a ruckus unless they had drugged her with something.

“Any clear visuals?”

“I can get four. And I’d say this one was in charge.” Tavitus pointed to the lead batarian, everything about him shouted that this man was used to giving orders.

“Kolyat. Any matches in our system?”

Kolyat had already returned to his own terminal to run the faces, and he shook his head in frustration.

“Then get them to Dr T’Soni.” His own omnitool rang out and Bailey’s brow rose. “Looks like we’re trading. Got another face for you to run. Asari – high up in Eclipse.”

It flicked up on Kolyat’s screen as Bailey transferred it over, and when Tavitus stood so abruptly his chair fell back, Bailey’s hand went to his gun until he saw that the turian was fixed on the screen.

Bailey relaxed a little. “You know her?”

In answer, Tavitus’s hands fisted. “Kia Salys.” His mandibles flared. “She’s my…lover.”

“Then I guess we know how they got into C-Sec’s systems,” said Kolyat, his arms crossing as he looked at Tavitus. Bailey was pretty certain the young turian didn’t need it spelled out, but Kolyat said it anyway. “She would have had access to your omnitool, and therefore your authorisation codes.”

Tavitus picked up the fallen chair and threw it across the room in his fury, pacing the room’s length and seeming to make a decision to find her as he started to head for the door.

“Stop right there,” ordered Bailey, and Tavitus froze, swinging to look at him with fierce eyes. “You want to confront her, then you do it with back-up. We can’t risk her getting away.”

Tavitus gave him a tight nod.

“Just give me five minutes to break some news.”

Bailey needed to take a deep breath for this one. Alenko just couldn’t catch a break.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan stared at one of the images sent by Bailey, the blood leaving his face.

“Who?” asked Liara, desperately.

“Balak. He was involved in the attempted terrorist attack on Terra Nova.”

“Asteroid X57? I have files on him.”

“You stopped it,” added Garrus.

“Yeah.” Kaidan’s voice sounded hoarse. “With my biotic squad. Turned off the torches one by one so it never had the chance to breach the planet’s atmosphere. He- Balak…had three hostages on that asteroid. Engineers who’d been working there before Balak took it over for his own purposes. We cornered him but he’d set timed bombs and said I had two choices: I could engage him and his men and let the hostages die, or go save them.”

“Letting Balak get away in the process.”

“Exactly.” Kaidan braced himself on the console as the impact of that decision barrelled into his stomach all these years later. “I chose the hostages.” It sickened Kaidan to think that one choice meant that Terra was suffering now. “He would have killed millions of humans just because he hated us, and now he has Terra.”

“A human who had to kill millions of batarians,” murmured Garrus.

Liara gasped. “He has to know she had no choice!”

“Balak’s blind with hate,” said Kaidan. He leaned towards Liara who was already connecting to her ship and its VI. “You can find him now, right?”

“I have Glyph collating everything we have on Balak. I’ll get into his accounts, trace back every purchase he made, work out his favourite places, and cross-reference that with known batarian sites. I’ll whittle it down piece by piece until I have a location,” vowed Liara.

When the call from Bailey came through, Kaidan just opened it on speaker. “We know who the lead batarian is. A known terrorist.”

“ _Damn. We have an ID on your asari, too. Kia Salys._ ” Liara was already making use of that detail. “ _We’re going to bring her in now and see what she knows. But that’s not why I called. You might want to sit down for this one._ ”

“More bad news? Hit me with it,” sighed out Kaidan.

“ _Your Alliance friends – the ones you were out with that night…. I’m sorry, but…two of them are dead._ ”

“What!?”

“ _Major John Roque collapsed about ten minutes after you left the club. Lieutenant Lyle Berkov raised the alarm but Roque was pronounced dead at the scene. Then in the early hours, Engineer Dane Yanson was found in an alley, also deceased. Autopsy’s show they were both poisoned. They died at around the same time, it’s just that Yanson’s body wasn’t discovered until later._ ”

Kaidan listened, unable to speak. Rissa, John, and Dane…all gone.

_“Officers tried to take a statement from Berkov but he was too stricken and inebriated to be much help beyond mentioning who he was drinking with that night. I’ll have an officer try again, but it’s unlikely he’ll be much help.”_

“The batarian,” said Kaidan, his brain finally working. “There was a batarian who brought us drinks; said they were on the house.”

“ _There’s no record of a batarian here. The officers interviewed everyone working that night and there’s not a single batarian among them. I’d say it’s likely he was with those that took Shepard._ ”

Kaidan ran his hands over his head. “He handed me and Rissa ours, then let the others get their own. Berkov knocked his over. It was after those shots that we all felt ill. I just thought it was strong alcohol….”

“ _Then it looks like Berkov had a lucky escape._ ”

“Yours and this…Rissa’s…were drugged too, then,” pondered Garrus. “Just with something that wasn’t deadly. Something to make you more susceptible to suggestion, maybe? Play on your hormones so you’d…you know, be uninhibited.”

“She liked you, didn’t she?” said Liara, accusingly. “She would not have needed much to start something with you.”

Kaidan didn’t know what to say. As much as he hoped it wasn’t true, he couldn’t say he hadn’t touched her. He just didn’t know.

“ _Another shuttle incoming,_ ” announced Edi, slicing through the tension.

“That will be Hackett,” assured Liara.

“Okay. Uh… Thanks for letting me know, Bailey.”

“ _I’m just sorry it wasn’t better news. Bailey, out._ ”

Three soldiers dead because they were associated with him. His son nearly killed. His wife…. All of this stemmed from that one decision on X57…. “I’ll go update Hackett,” said Kaidan, needing something to focus on so he wouldn’t keep imagining what was happening to Terra. The guilt was endless, and he wondered how wrong it was of him to wish he’d never saved those hostages and let Balak go that day.

-o-O-o-

Tevos entered Valern’s office to see her colleague’s agitation. “There’s more grave news?”

“Just as we expected,” snapped Valern. “The krogan have attacked six more research sites, and two of our mining facilities. How many more salarian lives must be taken before we act!?”

“No more, Valern. The asari matriarchs are in agreement. We must honour the terms of our treaty and unite against the krogan threat.”

In fact, the salarian Union had given them little choice. Though Dalatrass Narra was not receptive to a show of force against the krogan so quickly, the Union disagreed. At first Tevos and the matriarchs had been of the same opinion as the Dalatrass, and unwilling to add to their problems when they had their own attacks to concern them, but the Union had made it clear that if they faltered now in their time of need, the asari would find no ally in the future. With their relationship with both the turians and humans in question since the attacks on their stations, the matriarchs weren’t prepared to risk losing salarian aid.

“I have also made contact with Alliance Command, and they were quick to pledge their support,” said Valern. “They insist that recent events are down to a rogue element that is being dealt with.”

Tevos strode over to the balcony, looking out at the Citadel that was still standing because of the very people they were accusing. “If it were anyone else I could accept that, but even with Shepard’s mental decline, why would Alenko and Admiral Hackett be a part of that after everything they have done to keep us together?”

“Humans are emotional beings,” waved off Valern. “We created malcontent over Shepard, and those closest to her chose to prove a point. But we will not be bullied.”

“It makes no sense, Valern. What if Dominic was right?”

“Osoba colluded in their escape, making it quite clear where he stands, and it is not with us. Do not waver now, Tevos. Look at the facts: Alliance ships were the last at every station. Even if the turian bombs used were deliberately planted, the presence of Alenko’s squads at each location cannot be denied, just like the krogan attacks on salarian people. We need decisive action, not second-guessing.”

Sparatus joined them, distracting them both.

“I assume we have turian support in this,” said Valern.

Sparatus hesitated. “No. You do not. Primarch Victus isn’t convinced there’s a krogan rebellion to quell, and I’m inclined to agree with him.”

“You deny that this is the work of krogan!?” railed Valern.

“No, I don’t. I’m just saying that there’s no real proof that it’s anything more than a large group trying to cause trouble.”

“Unbelievable! Would you see it that way if it were _your_ people they were killing!?”

Sparatus sighed. “I’m sorry, but we won’t risk provoking the very thing you’re afraid of. This needs further investigation before the Hierarchy are prepared to commit to such a course of action, and we would urge you to reconsider.”

Watching their turian colleague leave, Tevos then turned to Valern. “That is troubling.”

“The turians are distancing themselves from us,” agreed Valern. “For all their denial of their involvement over the bombings of your stations, they have yet to show their allegiances do not lean with the rogue elements within the Alliance.”

“What is happening to our community?” whispered Tevos, feeling as frightened as the day she realised the Reapers were real.

“For now we focus on one problem at a time. We gather what forces we can over Tuchanka. The krogan must be shown that we will not stand as targets for their vengeance. Only then will the salarian people be able to stand with you against the possible threat from our own allies.”

Returning her gaze to the Citadel, Tevos couldn’t help but feel that whatever step she took next would send the asari plummeting. She’d never felt so vulnerable.

-o-O-o-

Hackett was sat in the co-pilot’s seat when they emerged from the path cut through the forest which was slowly being reclaimed by it. Normandy was a glorious sight set upon the remnants of destruction, and he felt one step closer to Terra by being here.

With sincere thanks to the woman who had brought him, Hackett was soon setting foot on Normandy’s ramp. Kaidan was waiting to greet him, his face drawn.

“Have you got any leads on Terra?” Hackett asked, passing through Normandy’s shield.

“We know who-

“ _Tracking device detected_!” Edi’s alarmed voice startled them both. “ _I have scrambled the signal, but it is likely too late!_ ”

“If we’re compromised, we need to leave. Now!” replied Kaidan.

Hackett had frozen in place at the announcement, stunned that his presence could have caused this. As his thoughts kick-started, trying to process how the hell it could have happened, he began running for the elevator beside Kaidan.

“Joker! I need you back at the helm! Get us out of here!” ordered Kaidan.

“ _Already on my way!_ ”

The doors closed them in, and Hackett was vaguely aware of the subtle shudder that rippled beneath him as the engines were brought back to life. But Hackett was internalising, his jaw tight.

_… Jaynes offered his hand, and Hackett took it, tensing as Jaynes also patted his shoulder in an over-friendly gesture that was out of place here._

_“We’ll talk again later.” …_

“God damn it!” Hackett knew how he’d been tracked.

Shaking off the jacket that had covered his uniform, his hand went to his shoulder, his fingers fiddling with the lapel until they came away with a small tracker. “Internal Affairs. That bastard, Jaynes….” He’d made a huge mistake in underestimating the rear admiral.

Dropping the tracker, Hackett stamped his heel down, crushing it. Too little too damned late. He looked at Kaidan, not needing to state the obvious.

An Alliance fleet would be waiting for them.

**-o-O-o-**


	15. Chapter 15

“Ships incoming!” alerted Edi, the second Joker settled back at the helm.

“I got them,” gritted out Joker, his tired eyes flicked only briefly to the radar. He had more important concerns right now though, like getting Normandy off the ground. Her mass effect fields kicked in, denying gravity its hold as she rose. Given the space he had, his environment wasn’t a concern, so Joker put all his focus on manoeuvring her to face away from the vessels headed their way. “Three? That’s all they think they need?” he muttered.

“That’s because they don’t have _me_ at their lead.”

Joker gave a fleeting glance back at Hackett, who had entered with Kaidan. “For such a smart man, you fell for the old tracker-under-the-collar trick.” He then winced. Sometimes his mouth had a mind of its own, and he clamped it shut now.

“Ouch, Commander. Now it’ll be a shame if a talented pilot fell foul to a few Moreau-wannabe’s.”

Joker smirked at that. “You’re alright, Hackett.”

“I’ll take that.” There was a grimness to the admiral’s tone. Joker guessed that being responsible for leading the Alliance right to them, was something the veteran soldier was having a hard time swallowing.

The Alliance frigates were closing in, and Joker answered their hail as he accelerated the ship forward along the strip of Reaper wasteland, deliberately keeping her low to the ground as they came up on his tail.

“ _Normandy, you are requested to land. Switch off your engine and await boarding, by order of Alliance Command._ ”

With a short laugh, Joker activated the external comm. “If you give a damn about Admiral Shepard, you’ll let us go find her and bring her home.”

The pause was long enough to give Joker some hope that they’d see sense. “ _Sorry, Normandy, but we have orders._ ” And his hope ended.

“Then _be_ mindless puppets and eat my dust.” Setting the thrusters at max at the same time as he angled the ship into a climb so the rush kicked up a storm of black debris from below, Joker shook his head in disappointment. “We’d all be juice for a new Reaper by now if we’d followed orders,” he mumbled.

“There’s definitely good orders and dumb ones,” agreed Kaidan.

“You hear that, Admiral?” His mouth was running away again, but Joker found it helped to diffuse the tension inside him.

Luckily, there was a snort of amusement from Hackett. “Noted. Sadly, I’ve no-one to give orders _to_ , else they wouldn’t be here.”

“Right…. Uh, sorry about that.”

Kaidan cleared his throat. “Joker, maybe you should concentrate.”

“And there’s a dumb order,” grumbled Joker. He knew exactly where the three ships were as they emerged from the black haze he’d created, and tried to catch up with him. There wasn’t a chance in hell. For the first time Joker was able to really push the upgraded Normandy to her max and she was performing beautifully. Normandy wasn’t the Alliance’s flagship for nothing.

Yet Joker knew not to get complacent. Despite previous mutterings, he was aware those first ships were just an escort delivering the obligatory message to stand down willingly. Whoever they’d placed in charge of the fleets in Hackett’s stead would know they were up against a superior ship. They’d be relying on their numbers and tactics, in an effort to cripple his ship.

The other ships fell off his radar, they were so far behind now, but Joker kept pushing Normandy like he couldn’t wait to see what awaited him. In truth, he was dreading it.

The radar bleeped again, confirming what they’d all expected: an armada ahead of them, changing course as though one entity, in order to intercept Normandy.

Emerging through Terra Nova’s atmosphere, Joker finally got a visual, and Kaidan swore. Expecting it, and seeing the reality of it, were two very different things. A wall of ships. Not alien. Not enemies. Alliance. Usually a magnificent sight, but not this time. “This is so fucked up,” Joker muttered.

“Tell me about it,” agreed Kaidan.

Hackett was silent behind him, but Joker could imagine how weird it must be to face-off with the very people he usually commanded.

A flash on his screen. “Incoming message from your replacement.” Joker put it on speaker, one-way only.

“ _This is Admiral Jaynes, Internal Affairs._ ”

Hackett’s colourful language impressed Joker.

“ _Hackett, we know you’re on board. You know the capability of this fleet. I ask you to see sense, and stand the Normandy down, or I_ will _order your ship disabled._ ”

The nearer Joker got, the more ships appeared from the gloom, but he tried not to let it intimidate him.

Hackett reached forward to open the comm. “My daughter’s been abducted by batarians and all you’ll want to do is question us.”

“ _So Shepard’s_ not _with you. I understand, and we can discuss that, but not like this._ ”

Hackett laughed dryly. “She doesn’t have that much time.” He slammed his hand down to cut the link.

“Do what you can to get us out of here, Joker,” said Kaidan.

Joker fully intended to.

When it became clear that Normandy wasn’t stopping, the first wave of Alliance ships were deployed. But they were outmatched as Joker danced the ship around their pursuers, never giving them a clear shot. In any other circumstance he’d have dealt a fair few hits in response by now, but that wasn’t an option here. Just like Kaidan had avoided as much conflict as was possible in their bid to escape the Citadel, Joker had to do the same. Yet failing wasn’t an option, and if he had to take a shot to give them a chance to continue in their hunt for Shepard, he would – avoiding anything that could cause fatalities, of course.

Things were getting dicier now as Jaynes wised up and sent more ships into the fray. There was something in some of their slow responses that made Joker wonder if they weren't really trying hard. Maybe he should be less pessimistic about his fellows after all.... Nevertheless, soon Normandy would be caught in a mesh of heavy fire, as the wall of ships tried to surround them. Shots streaked across the void from a group of vessels that worked together to create a cross-fire. While Joker was able to tilt the ship enough to avoid any direct hits, it still caught the shields. He didn’t let it worry him. Edi would deal with it.

“ _This is insanity, Alenko._ ” Jaynes was trying a different tactic. _“You cannot think you can evade a whole fleet. You’re endangering your own children. Stand down._ ”

That was an incredible weight none of them needed to be reminded of.

Even from the corner of his eye, Joker could see the anger on Kaidan’s face as he responded. “ _You’re_ endangering them! Stop firing on us and let us do what we have to, to right all this!”

“ _I can’t do that. You have to be held accountable for your actions. Whatever you may be innocent of, it’s indisputable that you stole a warship and abducted an admiral. Look at what you’ve caused here. You, your father-in-law, and your crew, will all be court-martialled; your children will be removed from your care. Do the right thing now and it’ll be easier on all of you._ ”

“No-one’s taking my family from me. Cut it, Edi,” ordered Kaidan. There was a hardness in his voice that Joker had never heard before, and it was about more than the threat of losing Rorie and Nate. Joker had heard what was said in the war-room about Balak. Kaidan had to feel responsible for Shepard’s abduction – Joker knew _he_ would in Kaidan’s place – and whatever the man had done on the Citadel with that other woman, there was no denying that Kaidan loved his wife. If anything had happened to Shepard… Either way, those batarians were already dead.

“Shields at 40%,” said Edi. “Compensating.”

The Alliance had stepped up their attack - the ship getting hit more frequently now - and Joker couldn’t keep this up against these numbers. Searching for any weakness in their formation, Joker spotted one. “Gap, portside. They haven’t closed it yet.” He’d be a fool not to take advantage of it. Waiting until the last possible second to leave them less time to react, he swiftly and cleanly changed direction. Joker appreciated that neither Kaidan nor Hackett were trying to give him suggestions. It would have distracted him, and he was perfectly capable of thinking on his feet, so to speak.

Around them, ships were scrambling in response, but it would be futile. Normandy was nimbler, faster, and the space ahead of Joker was clear. Just a little more distance and he’d be able to initiate FTL safely. In fact, it was all a little too…

“Wait! It’s a feint!” warned Hackett.

…easy. Joker’s stomach dropped, as he came to the same conclusion as Hackett. But it was too late. Flashes of light appeared around them as more ships dropped out of FTL, effectively surrounding them. Behind, the first fleet were already boxing them in, its ships moving forwards, tightening the net around Normandy.

They’d been outplayed.

-o-

Altair dropped the SSV Kokoda out of FTL as ordered, only to be stunned to see the ‘target’ she was supposed to help surround and incapacitate, was Normandy. _Oh my God!_ The news reports had said the children were on board, too! The thought of them on the ship in the midst of all this made her feel ill.

With a glance at her co-pilot, Altair thought quickly. Grabbing up a datapad which had been left on a nearby console, she typed into it before offering it. “Miller. Get this to the captain, fast. I can handle things here ‘til you get back.” Miller took it but looked at her, questioningly. “I know Normandy well,” she explained. “That has some info the captain might be able to use should they decide to try to make a run for it.”

Miller’s face lit up. She’d served with him long enough to know he’d probably try to pass it off as his own initiative, and while it usually irritated her, that particular trait was a boon as he practically launched himself from his seat. It had data that would look kosher enough – frequencies for shields, and such - but it was all bullshit. She just needed to hold them off for a bit.

The second Miller scurried through the cockpit hatch, Altair locked it down and contacted Normandy.

“This is some mess you got yourself in,” she said as it was answered.

“ _Holy shit, you’re out there, too?_ ”

Altair smiled as Jeff’s voice came through, though she felt shaken by this whole situation she’d suddenly found herself in. “Commandeered by Admiral Jaynes while Mikhailovich is indisposed. Kudos to whoever pressed the eject button, by the way,” she rushed out, conscious of the ticking timer. “I had no idea all of this was to do with Normandy. We were told it was ‘need to know’.”

“ _Don’t worry about it. I know you’re just following orders._ ”

He sounded so damn calm. Normandy was still travelling fast, and she knew with certainty that Jeff wouldn’t stop. This was about Shepard. This was about their loyalty to her. And Altair sure as heck didn’t believe any of them would steal a warship and go on the run without good reason. Altair liked to think she was a part of that elite group, even if she’d only been with them a little while, and she felt a surge of courage. _Just following orders…._ No. They needed help, and she was in a position to give them that.

“Jeff, I’m at your two o’clock. Head to me and you’ll have your exit.”

There was a pause.

“ _Robbie, no. You’ll lose your seat._ ”

She huffed in amusement. “No big loss – it’s definitely not leather. And this is about Shepard, right?” she added seriously.

“ _Yeah. She’s in real trouble. But, Robbie-_ “

“But nothing. Get this sorted and I’ll hold out hope that a re-instated Spectre or two will have a word with the high-ups.”

Then Normandy was turning, closing in, her velocity never faltering as she spiralled out of the line of laser-fire - a gorgeous sight that made Altair wish more than ever that she was on it…next to Jeff. Coming up right on his tail were interceptors, whose job would be to get in close and deliver more precise heavy fire, yet she noticed that some went way off mark in a way that had to be deliberate. Good on them.

“ _Lieutenant, target is making a beeline for us,”_ came her captain, like she couldn’t see that for herself. “ _Good work with these frequencies. They’ve been passed to the interceptors. Hold firm and be ready to assist._ ”

“Yes, Sir,” was all she answered before shutting him off. “Damn, they’re really serious about stopping you guys.”

“ _Pff. Of course they are. It’s called kissing the councillors asses whilst shafting your best and brightest_ ,” retorted Joker.

Altair scrunched her nose up at the imagery. In the same moment, she heard Milleroutside the hatch.

“ _Uh…Altair? I’m locked out_.”

“Yes, you are,” she murmured.

It was time to move. With a burst of power, Altair sent the Kokoda out of position, and hurtling towards Normandy. Then she aped Jeff by tipping the ship so they did a fly-by with each other. There was a point they were so close she was able to glimpse Jeff long enough to wave as they passed. Straightening out, Altair deliberately placed herself in the flight-path of the interceptors that had been about to engage Normandy again, and they pulled back to avoid colliding with her while she manoeuvred the Kokoda behind Normandy, acting like an additional shield. No-one behind them would be able to shoot at Normandy without hitting the Kokoda first, and though the ships in front were trying to close the breach she’d left, Joker easily squeezed by them.

“ _Nice moves_ ,” laughed Jeff.

Smiling, Altair ignored both her captain’s shouts over the comm and Miller’s banging. Nothing could ruin how good hearing Jeff laugh made her feel.

“ _I won’t forget this, Robbie._ ”

“You can always buy me a drink. Think I’m definitely going to need one.”

“ _You’re on._ ”

“Just take care, Jeff. Of them, _and_ yourself.”

“ _You, too._ ”

Then someone had hacked the hatch behind her, and she raised her hands in surrender as security entered and she heard weapons priming. But she wasn’t looking at them. Her gaze was fixed on Normandy, streams of light appearing around them just before they jumped to FTL and disappeared, leaving nothing but emptiness.

She was being pulled to her feet, her hands tugged backwards to be cuffed. The captain was yelling, but Altair was lost to her thoughts.

If only Jeff knew just how much she missed him - that what had started as hero worship had gradually developed into something more. She thought he was an amazing man who, for his ego when it came to flying, had no idea he had so much more to offer.

“… headed for a court-martial, Lieutenant!”

Those words pulled her back to reality, and she nearly laughed. Court-martial. Her mother would be so smug. Yet, Altair couldn’t find anything to regret. Jeff was worth it.

-o-

Joker sank back in his chair as they came out of FTL into the welcome sight of empty space, but judging by his face, Kaidan decided it wasn’t from relief. “You okay, Joker?” he checked.

“Robbie just risked everything for us.”

Kaidan allowed himself only the barest of smiles. Listening to Joker and Altair, he’d gotten the impression there was more between the two pilots than they realised.

“We’ll sort it,” assured Hackett.

“The list’s getting longer,” sighed Kaidan. “For now, we need another rest-stop.”

“May I suggest a deserted Cerberus base, not far from here?” said Edi. “It may also offer fuel if it hasn’t already been stripped by opportunists.”

“It’s as good a place as any,” nodded Kaidan. “Joker, I’ll have Cortez take over here. Get that sleep.”

“I’m already there,” conceded Joker, removing his cap and staring at it as he rose and walked wearily away.

Kaidan knew he should go do the same, but a trip to medbay would have to wait. He had two children he hadn’t seen anything of since they’d woken, and they were at the top of his priorities right now. “Rorie and Nate?” he asked Edi.

“Both in the Mess.”

Thanking Edi, Kaidan then headed with Hackett through the CIC.

“You’re strung out,” murmured Hackett, the words for Kaidan’s ears only.

“It’s been a little crazy.” Waiting until they were in the elevator and the doors afforded them privacy, Kaidan ran his hands over his face. “I feel so damn useless. All I can do is stand here and wait for Liara to bring us intelligence, and every second’s delay means Terra’s….” He couldn’t finish.

Hackett’s hand was on his shoulder. “You’ve done more than most would be prepared to. You’ve defied the Council and the Alliance to be out here.”

“She’d do no less for me.”

“True.”

The doors opened on the crew deck and Kaidan was immediately hit with the wonderful sound of Rorie’s laughter. Even Nate could be heard chortling.

After what they’d just been through, the contrast floored Kaidan. They sounded so happy. But how long would it last? How long did Terra have? Was she already…? Standing frozen to the spot, it all became too much, and he faced the rear of the cab, trying not to look so weak in front of Hackett.

“Kaidan.”

“I’m okay.” His voice was hoarse and he cleared his throat, desperately pulling back some semblance of the professional he was supposed to be. A vault was what he needed. Someplace impenetrable to lock it all away. He wouldn’t let the kids see how it was affecting him.

Turning to exit, Kaidan gave Hackett a nod that he was under control, and they walked round to the Mess and its two joyful young inhabitants. It was his turn to laugh now as he saw the scene in the kitchen. Rorie and Nate were sat on the worktop, bowls in front of them both in which they were apparently supposed to be mixing. Except every time Nate rammed the spoon around in his uncoordinated way, flour flew over them both, as well as Jack and James who were responsible for this scenario, and causing more raucous laughter from the mini Shepard-Alenko’s.

Rorie spotted them. “Gandpa!”

“Hey, Angel.”

“Daddy, we’re making cookies,” she grinned, then coughed as she inhaled the dust in the air, making Nate chuckle again as more flour was kicked up.

Kaidan grinned back. “Ah, I thought you were just making a mess, but cookies sound great.”

“Hope you don’t mind,” said James as they moved aside, leaving Hackett to take sentry duty with Jack. “Thought it best to distract them someplace with no windows.”

Christ, he hadn’t thought about that. Rorie had picked up enough knowledge from them all that she knew every type of ship out there and the race they belonged to. The last thing he wanted was for her to know they were being shot at by their own. “Thanks, Vega.”

“De nada. Do you know how long it’s been since I baked cookies?” Vega grinned. “Do that in the barracks and you end up chained to a fence wearing a tutu and lipstick. Now I have the perfect excuse.”

Kaidan laughed as they re-joined the others. “Well, I’m not holding out much hope there’ll be anything left in the bowls to make those cookies.” Happily accepting the flour-covered embrace from his son, Kaidan watched Rorie purposefully, and fearlessly, press her hand onto her grandfather’s pristine uniform to create a print, accompanied by a mischievous giggle.

Hackett responded by putting some on her nose, to her delight, and then it quickly descended into mayhem as more flour was exchanged between granddaughter and grandfather. By the end, it wasn’t only the two of them who were covered in white dust, and they’d attracted a small crowd as passing crew had stopped to witness the surprising spectacle of their highest-ranking admiral’s flour-fight.

It was looking around at all the smiling faces, that made Kaidan realise he wore one of his own, and guilt wiped it away.

Terra was missing this.

Because he’d let a terrorist walk away.

-o-O-o-

The cuffs bit into Shepard’s wrists, and her arms and shoulders strained as gravity pulled her weight down to the ground which lay a taunting inch below her dangling toes. Varush had been deliberately placed in front of her, locked in the torturous cycle of the control device, each nerve-shattering pulse constricting his muscles so all he could do was writhe stiffly on the floor, his lips pulled back in pain.

Seeing him like that was bad enough when there was nothing she could do to help, but the table brought in with its array of ‘tools’ displayed on its surface, left a menacing threat that sat in her stomach and crawled up her spine with its dark promise of impending pain. They’d been left alone for what she guessed was about a half hour now, and she felt every second tick slowly by.

The moment Zaliesh was dragged into the room sent a new foreboding through Shepard. How many more would suffer because of her? Those ten dead people still looked back at her with their empty eyes when she closed her own. Shepard wasn’t so naïve to think that Zaliesh wouldn’t pay a horrible price for saving her son, and she now wondered whether it would have been kinder to have let the varren take Varush’s life, after all.

Zaliesh was thrown to the ground next to Varush, her hand automatically reaching out to comfort him, but she was kicked in the stomach before she could make contact. She gasped in air as she clutched at her belly, cowering as the batarian drew back a fist to strike her again.

“You made your point,” snapped Shepard. “Asshole.”

The batarian straightened, his attention on her, just as she’d wanted. No, not _wanted_ , but preferable to him pounding on an innocent who couldn’t defend herself. Then she recognised him. This was the batarian whose face was brandished into her memory, holding her son by his ankle and a blade to his belly. She checked the room; he was the only one who had entered. Shepard felt amazingly calm as the sneering batarian approached her, his fist still curled tight.

“You dare speak to me?”

“I dare. I have nothing to fear from a coward like you.” _Just take another step, you bastard._

Her challenging words worked, and anger made him careless. He drew back his fist, stepping forward with his swing. She took the punch, her head turning to lessen the force as it contacted her jaw, and then rammed her knee up into his crotch. When he doubled over, Shepard brought her knee up again, this time into his face, and he reeled backwards, clutching his mouth.

Her wrists were burning now as the cuffs cut into her skin, but Shepard didn’t let it deter her. When the batarian bastard lowered his hands from his face and lunged forward again in a stupid blind rage, Shepard lifted herself higher, twisted and brought one leg up to wrap around the back of his neck so he couldn’t easily retreat and pressed her other boot hard into his throat. It was awkward, but she was motivated.

A well-trained soldier would keep his wits and work to disable her with whatever weapon he had on his person or a well-placed punch to an exposed area. This batarian didn’t fall into that category. He tried to remove her boot, too concerned with the pressure she was placing on his airway. A waste of time he didn’t have as he fought for oxygen she was denying him. When he finally realised she had an unyielding position, anchored as she was to the ceiling and his neck, he started hitting out at her ribs, but already his body was suffering the asphyxiation, and they didn’t have much power.

When he went slack, his body weight threatening to dislocate her wrists, Shepard held firm. Unconsciousness wasn’t good enough. She wanted this man dead. Blood trickled down her arms, and her hands were going numb now, but she didn’t drop him until she heard the door slide open behind her.

“Fuck!” It was Balak’s second-in-command. “Get the doctor! Balak, too.” Then he was standing in front of her. “Stupid move, Shepard.”

“Why? Because Balak will make me suffer more?” she said, derisively. “I’ve got nothing to lose, which made killing _him_ completely worth it.”

The batarian glared back at her, hands on his hips, but footsteps signalled others had arrived. The three-eyed doctor bent to check the still form at her feet as she was surrounded by his comrades with weapons aimed. When their doctor shook his head at Balak’s Second, Shepard felt a comfort that there was one less threat to her family.

“What’s this?”

Balak’s voice sent a shiver through Shepard, her heart beating hard in her chest, and it shocked her. This man was already digging into her psyche and affecting her.

“She killed him,” stated his Second. “Which wouldn’t have happened if you’d hadn’t decided you needed some power-trip and wanted to break her before you slit her throat.”

“It wouldn’t have happened if he’d had the brains to stay sharp around her,” snarled back Balak, who then went nearly nose to nose with his Second. “And you’ll show some respect, Kadarl. This is for every batarian life taken; for every living batarian who wants justice for their families! Shepard doesn’t deserve a quick death, and I will have her BEG FOR HER END!”

Wiping the spittle from his face, which had been flown from Balak’s mouth like he was rabid, Kadarl stared back at his boss. “You’ve lost yourself, Balak. To grief. To vengeance. We have more important things to focus on than her: our people are dying out. Kill her and be done with it.” Then he walked out. It seemed there was dissent in the ranks.

Balak stood there, the room silent asides from Varush’s pained breaths. Balak’s men stood there, looking at each other uncomfortably, not daring to say a word. After a while, Balak moved closer to the table and his tools. “You’re still causing trouble, Shepard.”

She chose not to respond, and Balak nodded at someone. Shepard gave a mirthless laugh as she saw that damned batarian with his omnitool, recording again. “I’m going to imagine shoving that thing down your throat.” She closed her eyes, her pulse thrumming in her ears, trying to conjure that image instead of dwelling on what would happen next.

“077.”

Shepard opened her eyes to see Balak addressing Zaliesh.

“You defied me.”

“No, Master, I-“

“Don’t lie to me.” The screens around the room turned on to show Kaidan holding Nate, and Zaliesh began to sob. “I told you what would happen. Soon. After that, you’ll join Jabak’s harem.” He indicated to one of the armed batarians who leered back at Zaliesh. Another face Shepard would remember. Balak then opened his omnitool and must have turned off Varush’s control device, because the Shanti male was able to curl up into a ball, his whole body shaking violently as he quietly wept.

If it was possible to hate Balak more, Shepard did.

“077. 113. On your knees.”

Despite his shaking limbs, Varush crawled himself into a bowing position before Balak, alongside Zaliesh.

“You’ll watch. Look away and you’re next.” He ran his fingers over a selection of nasty-looking tools, including something akin to pliers, and a hand-saw. When his hand stopped, it was on a mass of leather braids attached to a handle. A whip.

When he slowly lifted it, it got worse as the leather unfurled revealing the barbs of metal that adorned the last quarter-length of each braid, and Shepard swallowed down the fear it invoked as Balak swirled it deliberately. It couldn’t be worse than dying over and over again. If he knew how that had got to her…. Or maybe he did. This man wanted to hear her scream. There was no sound to be had from someone who was drowning.

“Like it, Shepard? I understand your own culture used something similar as a method of punishment. For all of humanity’s self-righteousness, its past is littered with brutality.”

“At least we turned our backs on it.”

Balak laughed while he moved behind her. “Keep telling yourself that, Shepard. Tell me, if your son were dead like I wanted, and you had the opportunity, would our places be reversed?”

“No. You’d just be dead,” she said, with feeling. “I get no pleasure from causing pain.” Shepard could hear the whip’s braids clinking behind her, and she tried to take a calming breath in preparation.

“Then it’s another way you and I differ.”

The loud crack that filled the room was followed almost instantly by the shocking blow of leather and barbs lashing across her back, sending her swinging from damaged wrists, and aching arms and shoulders which were forgotten now. That one breath-stealing strike shredded its way through fabric and skin, leaving Shepard clenching her jaw to stop the scream, and squeezing her eyes shut to prevent the tears of pain from falling.

She _would not_ give him the satisfaction.

Another snap.

Flesh was gouged and ripped away, and she struggled to contain the agonised sob.

The sound preceding the pain made her flinch even before the impact. Shepard tried to keep her senses as fresh lesions were torn into, but all she could do was _feel_.

 _Re-focus. Breathe. Kaidan…_ She wanted to lose herself in a memory, but what she saw in her mind was that image they’d planted there. _Pain._ Deep inside her. And the external pain was digging in, as though trying to make contact with its internal counterpart. _That wasn’t Kaidan. He wouldn’t._ Nothing was as it seemed anymore. What her eyes saw and what was real were two different things. What was true and what was a lie? She couldn’t think. _Re-focus! Rorie and Nate-_

Shepard felt each barb pulling at already raw wounds, so deep there had to be nothing left. But Balak would continue until he’d heard her screams; until she was pleading ‘for an end’.

She _would not_ give him the satisfaction.

Muscle tearing. Back burning. She could hear her blood splattering on the ground.

Incredible pain-fuelled heat seared into her, her vision white even behind closed lids, then real darkness, all too brief as unconsciousness teased her with an escape before evading her. Scattered thoughts – too much pain to gather them. But her jaw remained tightly shut – her rapid, heavy breathing, noisy through her nose. One more lash and maybe she could stay within the dark’s reprieve.

**-o-O-o-**


	16. Chapter 16

Bailey exited the interrogation room. He’d had enough of Kia Salys. The asari had given off an air of contempt as she’d answered his questions with nothing but silence, and it irked him.

She hadn’t been quite so taciturn when she’d been apprehended.

Bailey had come to the conclusion that, as Salys hadn’t vanished from Tavitus’s life the moment she’d succeeded in framing them, she clearly didn’t think she’d be caught and was sticking around.

They’d checked back through every entry done in Tavitus’s name. Eclipse had known exactly what warehouses any seized drugs had been placed, how much was in them, and then doctored the reports so that subsequent inventories wouldn’t flag up the missing goods which they’d promptly stolen.

With a set-up like that, why would Salys give it up? C-Sec authorisation codes were changed frequently, and she was on to a good thing.

So, Tavitus had messaged her to meet him for dinner at a restaurant that Bailey had then requisitioned for the bust, filling it with undercover C-Sec officers as customers. He was pretty sure that he’d never see a more stunned asari than Salys the moment Tavitus said she was under arrest and she was surrounded by armed ‘diners’. As Tavitus had been given the honour of clawing back a little dignity by slapping the cuffs on her, she’d called him every slur Bailey had ever heard, and a lot more that were new even to him.

Outside the interrogation room, Bailey saw Tavitus staring angrily in through the observation window, his arms crossed, and back rigid. It can’t be easy finding out your girlfriend’s only with you for what she could get access to. What the turian was showing was fury, but deep down the man had to be hurting. The sad thing was, it would affect Tavitus long after the rest of them had forgotten it. Every potential new partner would be met with suspicion now, and moving past it would depend on whether he was candid about this betrayal to any new person in his life, or kept it to himself and let it taint everything. Bailey knew only too well where being proud got you: alone.

“You should let me in there. I’ll make her talk,” growled Tavitus.

“I bet. But it’s not happening. Let’s see what Kolyat’s got off her omnitool.”

Waiting for the young turian to go first, Bailey followed him over to Kolyat’s desk, where the drell was hunched over the tool.

“Anything useful?”

Kolyat stretched before answering. “She had quite the encryption on it, so I asked Zabaleta to help me break it. Once he got me in I found this….” He sent it to the terminal in front of him.

**I CALL FOR THOSE WHO REBEL AGAINST THE COUNCIL AND THEIR RULE. JOIN ME, AND TAKE BACK YOUR GALAXY.**

**WRAITH**

“Wraith? I don’t like the sound of that,” muttered Bailey. “Have I missed something, or is that the first we’ve heard of him/her/them?”

“We’ve got nothing on that alias.”

“Sounds more like an individual as opposed to a group,” said Tavitus.

“Well, according to the ensuing messages, Salys challenged Wraith. In response he says if she threatened a certain salarian named Schells in Wraith’s name, he’d deposit a large sum to her. She did, and a day later she got 100,000.”

“Way more than a simple shakedown’s worth,” said Bailey, settling in a chair opposite Kolyat.

“It got her attention. Then Wraith says he can help ease the pressure from C-Sec on her business dealings, as well as get inside access enabling Eclipse to expand their operations on the Citadel and beyond. Next comes a program to synthesise biometrics, and he explains his plan. It’s all here: hooking an Eclipse agent up with a C-Sec officer, getting into our systems and taking seized drug shipments, and framing the Executor and us with reallocated monies. They didn’t need the credits, as Wraith makes it clear he’ll remain funding them for their ‘assistance’ in bringing down the Council races.”

“Now Schells is a name I know,” said Bailey. “He’s got form with skimming credits from casinos, though until now he’s always been a small-time opportunist.”

“Sounds like he’s Wraith’s means of funding whatever he’s up to,” said Tavitus.

“Then we’ll bring him in,” Bailey stated. “Can you trace back the messages to their origin?”

Kolyat shook his head. “It’s routed through several communication terminals and then off the Citadel.”

“Then update Nor- uh, Dr T’Soni, would you?” Better to leave the duty-driven Tavitus believing that T’Soni was a well-connected broker and friend on Ilium, than letting slip that she was on the Normandy. Tavitus had already proven he’d do what he felt was right regardless of who was in the firing line. Bailey wondered what the turian’s version of Internal Affairs was, because Tavitus was probably prime material.

“So…everything going on here…is all about some kind of attack on us _all_?” voiced Tavitus, and Bailey could almost see the thoughts turning over.

“It’s looking that way,” said Kolyat. “Wraith promises that when the Council falls, Salys is welcome to fill the void they leave.”

“I should take this to the Council,” said Bailey, underwhelmed at the notion, “though I suspect we’re going to need more to satisfy the councillors that this is serious, especially in the midst of these attacks.”

“We wouldn’t have known this if the Executor hadn’t taken the evidence and run,” murmured Tavitus. “Or if General Alenko hadn’t taken Normandy. … It’s all connected? Shepard, the Executor, Wraith?”

“Catching on, huh?” Bailey patted the bewildered-looking Tavitus’s shoulder. “Investigate every angle, every possibility. _Listen_. And above all, keep a _really_ open mind. The things that happen to Shepard and company defy sanity. You saw the footage. Shepard was walked out by batarians. She couldn’t have been the one who shot Larissa Decanus.”

“But we all watched her do it….”

Kolyat nodded in sympathy with Tavitus’s confusion. “She’s had a clone before though,” he reasoned. “As weird as it seems, to those of us who know her, it makes far more sense that she was ‘replaced’, than it is that she’d kill someone who was unarmed.”

Bailey rose with a deep sigh. “Once you’ve sent that data, go pick up Schells.”

“It sounds like he’s an unwilling participant if he had to be threatened,” said Tavitus. “It’s unlikely he’ll know anything about Wraith.”

“I agree, but check him out anyway. And stay out of Salys’s cell,” Bailey warned. “Wish me luck with the Council.” But as he left C-Sec, Bailey wasn’t optimistic. If Osoba were still on the Council then maybe…. But he wasn’t. Deciding that Osoba should know all this anyway, Bailey opted to stop by there first.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan left Liara in the war-room where she was using the new information from Bailey, and was already setting her agents the task of tracing back the messages Salys and Schells had received, and was personally tracking the funds Schells had been forced to funnel back to ‘Wraith’. From what Kolyat had discovered from Schells, it was an astounding amount of credits that had been pilfered, and Kaidan was surprised the casinos hadn’t sought assistance from C-Sec rather than continuing to try to deal with it in-house.

Wraith. A name for a shadow, but at least it was something to show that they were on the right track when it came to tying it all together.

Making his way up to the bridge to collect Nate from where he’d left him in the co-pilot’s seat with one of the toys Liara had brought with her, Kaidan felt the silence of the ship weighing him down. It shouted failure.

Normandy had travelled without incident to the ex-Cerberus base set cleverly amongst the inhospitably rocky crags of the small moon’s surface, so well-camouflaged that no-one would know it was here if they didn’t have co-ordinates telling them it existed. Not that the small facility had much to offer. James had taken Cortez and a small team to check it out. Airlocks had been left open and the winds had brought in much of the dry grey dust from the outside, so it covered everything, getting inside the power outlets. As such, they’d had to search it under fluctuating or no light, only to find nothing of value other than a large fuel tank just outside, just as Edi had predicted.

Liara’s ship, the Avastus, would be joining them soon, so she could be reunited with her daughter following their impromptu departure from Terra Nova. Until then, they were alone here.

“Have you thought about your future yet?”

Slowing, Kaidan listened to Joker’s conversation with Nate.

There was a babble of response, and Joker nodded.

“Sure, sure, you could follow your folks, but I think you’re more of a brain-over-brawn type of guy. I mean you’ve been studying that toy for a good half hour now and it’s just a block with a few spinning things on it. Your sister would have hurled it after five seconds. But not you. Patience. I’m thinking pilot. Huh? How about it? I can teach you everything I know.”

Nate answered with more babbling, and Kaidan had to smile.

“Good decision. Knew you’d take the smart choice. Just as soon as you learn how to actually control those hands, I’ll get straight on that first lesson. Yeah…. Always thought I’d get to do that for my little sister. Gunny…. If she were still here, I’d bet she’d be top of her class by now and ready to graduate flight school. … But she isn’t, so….” Joker gave a sigh that told Kaidan exactly how much the helmsman was hurting. “You know, I’m beginning to come to the conclusion that I’m not so good at holding on to the people I care about. My parents, Gunny…your mom…. Robbie.”

Nate babbled for an impressive amount of time, like he felt the need to answer in kind with the same length of ‘speech’ as Joker had. All the while, Kaidan could see his tiny hands never stilling on the toy he was still investigating.

When the baby babble had finished, Joker sank back into his chair with a groan. “Yeah, you’re right. Pity party over. Thanks for the pep-talk. And for listening, buddy.”

Kaidan just wished Joker felt he could confide in someone who understood. Restarting his walk towards them, Kaidan made sure his approach was heard this time.

“Kaidan… How long have you been there?”

“Just got here, Joker.”

“Oh. Good. Good. Well, it’s about time. This guy’s driving me crazy.” He jerked a thumb in Nate’s direction. “Won’t shut up. And between you and me, he’s got a serious drooling problem.”

Kaidan laughed as he picked up his son, the toy still clutched tight and making the occasional journey into his mouth. “Thanks for keeping an eye on him.”

“No problem. … Anything on Shepard?” Joker’s voice was quiet and intoned.

Hating the only answer he had was ‘no’, Kaidan fought back the negative thoughts. “Liara says she’s still collating everything she can find on Balak. Every little piece of information is being given to Glyph to analyse alongside Liara’s traces on all of Balak’s monetary transactions. We’re closing in.”

“So…any time now. Then I should go join the others for chow-time before I have to get this girl in the air again.” Joker rose with a forced optimism he clearly needed to hold on to, and Kaidan respected that.

Then he realised it was the first time they’d all had a chance to sit down together.

He should go get Rorie. His daughter was last in the observation room having a lesson with Edi, who was filling in the void left in his daughter’s studies.

Kaidan wondered what would have happened had Jack not decided to bring Rorie to the Citadel. Would Jaynes have used her as a negotiating tactic? Probably. They would have gone to the Academy to guard over her should he have tried to get to her. Or maybe they would have taken her away from Grissom; placed her in some room on Arcturus. No - Jack wouldn’t have allowed it, and Jaynes wouldn’t be stupid enough to push someone like her. Pushing away pointless thoughts of things that hadn’t happened, Kaidan thanked the stars that Rorie was with him.

Exiting with Joker onto the crew deck, Kaidan went right, towards the observation area, only to find it empty and Rorie’s voice coming from the Mess. He smiled down at Nate. “Should have known your sister wouldn’t need to be reminded it’s dinnertime.”

“Father, Victus has assured me that you can return to Palaven.”

Kaidan turned towards Garrus as he caught Teryck coming from the lounge area.

“The Primarch?”

“Yeah. I just spoke with him. You won’t face any charges over what happened on the Citadel. Technically, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. So, Liara said she could drop you at the nearest turian colony, and Victus will arrange transportation for you.”

“And you? The Council have cleared you of all charges. You can go back to the Citadel.”

“I’m…where I should be.”

“Being hunted?”

“Hunting: for Shepard.”

“You stay here and you’ll remain on the wrong side of the law, Garrus.”

“I _was_ playing by the rules, dad. I got locked in a cell and was accused of breaking it, anyway. You may not like it, but I’ve always followed my instinct, and it’s telling me this is the right thing to do.”

“Is it your instinct…or your heart?”

Garrus paused. “Maybe it is my heart. But could you sit there and do nothing if Solona were taken?”

Teryck sighed. “No. No, I couldn’t.”

“Shepard…. I know you don’t get it, but Shepard’s like a sister to me. One who _gets_ me. Everything I have, _everything_ I am today, is due largely to her.”

“Solona thought maybe you’d fallen for her.”

Garrus laughed. “Not like that. She’s…my guardian spirit. This is my chance to be hers. She’s earned it.”

“She has,” agreed Teryck. The elder turian placed his hand on his son’s shoulder. “I just needed to say my piece. I worry where this will lead you. There’s a certain safety on the Citadel.”

“Really? Look at the Citadel’s history. I’ve got good people watching my back. Don’t worry about me.”

The turian father and son walked into the Mess together, and Kaidan looked down to see Nate staring back at him with a surprisingly admonishing look.

“Caught in the act, huh? You’re right, eavesdropping is a big no-no, and I’ve done it twice now. I’m turning into Joker. Or Kasumi.”

Rewarding his son’s huge smile with a raspberry to the tummy that made the youngster chuckle heartily, Kaidan carried him through to the Mess. Instantly he noticed the atmosphere was a little muted. Terra’s absence was never more keenly felt here, where she always made herself available to enjoy this communal time.

“I was sitting there, Uncle Wex.”

“You weren’t in it, and I don’t see your name on it, so it’s my seat now.”

Everyone’s attention went to Wrex and Rorie, who was trying to push Wrex off the seat she usually claimed at the head of the table, and amusement arose at the seemingly impossible task she’d set herself. When the huge krogan refused to budge she switched to a different tactic and climbed on to his lap instead. Wrex just lifted her off with one hand and dumped her on the adjacent seat.

Kaidan watched the stubborn determination intensify on her sweet face as she slid off the seat and returned to Wrex’s lap, and couldn’t help but grin. That krogan should know better than to think he could win this. Rorie was a Shepard to her core.

“A hundred on Rorie being in that seat before the plates hit the table,” said Joker.

“Only an idiot would take that bet,” stated Garrus.

Teryck frowned at them both. “A human child against a krogan warlord?”

Garrus groaned. “Don’t do it dad. Don’t be the idiot. I’d lose all respect for you and then I’d have no choice but to disown you,” he warned.

As Teryck shook his head in bemusement and took a seat, Rorie was once again being unceremoniously ousted to the chair she didn’t want. This time, she jumped to the ground, put her hands on her hips and glared at Wrex.

Wrex met her stare. “Problem? _Runt_.”

There was a round of ‘ooh’s at Wrex’s deliberate slur.

“Nope,” Rorie said obstinately. Then with one swift move she sent a biotic push that sent Wrex tumbling off the seat which she promptly leapt into.

The whole room erupted in laughter and cheering, and even Wrex was chuckling in approval as he regained his feet, though Rorie didn’t appear to trust that he wouldn’t try anything, and hugged the back of the chair like clutching it would prevent Wrex from reclaiming it if he chose to.

“You earned it,” said Wrex, sitting in the other space, and Rorie slowly faced the table, keeping an eye on the krogan as she did so.

“See dad?” Garrus sat smugly down beside Teryck and Kaidan.

“Never underestimate a Shepard,” nodded Kaidan with a laugh.

-o-O-o-

Bray made his way through one of the Alliance ships, leaving his men to keep watch over the small group of Blue Suns he’d just interrogated, who’d been left by Vosque to guard the airlock.

What he saw were signs of a massacre. Blood and brain matter decorated the walls the only way headshots can, and more blood pooled stickily on the deck. Footprints tracked it everywhere; the perpetrators not bothering to clear it up. Sloppy, second-rate work in Bray’s opinion.

Finding the bodies of the Alliance soldiers piled up in a cargo hold, Bray instinctively turned his nose away from the reek of death. Aria was going to love this.

“ _What have we got?_ ” Her impatient voice got straight to the point when she answered his call.

“A whole lot of dead Alliance.”

“ _Fucking Vosque. What’s his game?”_

“Seems his people don’t have a clue, either. Vosque’s playing it close to his chest. But these aren’t the first Alliance soldiers they’ve killed. They got aboard posing as Alenko’s Biotic Squads.”

“ _So Vosque’s playing with the big boys. Brainless human. Hold tight. I have a call to make._ ”

Bray didn’t know who she’d be calling, and he knew not to ask. It wasn’t his business unless Aria made it so. So, he’d stay put until he had further orders. Away from the stench.

-o-O-o-

Hackett stood in the observation room where he’d sought privacy. This was one caller he wasn’t expecting.

“Aria.”

“ _Imagine how interesting I found it when I discovered that you’re no longer commanding the Alliance fleets. Going rogue? I’m impressed._ ”

“Don’t be. It’s through necessity. My daughter’s been abducted by batarians, and if you know anything about that-“

“ _I don’t. And it’s not why I called. Take this a gesture of good will, if you like. I have an unwelcome presence on my station. Eight of your vessels are docked, their crew all dead._ ”

Damn it. It was something he’d been prepared for, but Hackett found the confirmation disappointing. Good men and women, gunned down. “Who was behind it?”

“ _What makes you think I know?_ ”

“Because I’m not an idiot. Who?”

“ _Blue Suns. A surprisingly bold move from Vosque. Despite all his bluster, he’s always been nothing more than a fly trying to blend in with those of us who can really sting. He’s planning something. I don’t like him, and I don’t like what he could bring my way. Don’t make me regret extending you this courtesy._ ”

Blue Suns…. They already knew that Eclipse were involved. If the salarian incidents were connected to all of this too then that tied in the Blood Pack. This Wraith was using the merc bands against them. “Would you be able to get to Vosque?”

“ _And why would I do that?_ ”

“I think he’s involved in something far larger than murdering Alliance soldiers, and it concerns the stability of the whole galaxy.”

“ _Quite the claim. But that’s all it is. I strike against Vosque without apparent provocation and every other merc leader will start getting twitchy._ That’s _another headache for_ me _.”_

“There’s a possibility he’s already working with them, but you’re right: I have no proof of that.” Hackett thought through the politics of it as he understood it from Aria’s point of view. He needed to know what Vosque knew; to confirm a connection to ‘Wraith’ and maybe something more concrete to finding him. An idea formed, but it depended on the cooperation of an old friend. “I may have someone who could help. In the meantime, I’d like those men to be returned to the Alliance for proper burial.”

“ _You’re pushing the limits of my patience, Admiral._ ”

“I appreciate you calling me, but I won’t have those men dumped like Omega trash. All I ask is that you take the ships to another location and I’ll let the Alliance know where to find them. Nothing needs to come back to you.”

“ _On one condition: you give me everything you have. I want to know how big this is._ ”

Aria was playing a dummy hand when all he had to do was notify the Alliance where those ships currently were, but there was no need to piss her off considering he wouldn’t have known about them otherwise. “Deal. I’ll wait for those co-ordinates.”

The second Aria had clicked off, Hackett made his call. He was wagering that a certain bounty hunter would revel in the chance to mess with this newest leader of the mercenary band he’d founded.

-O-

The meal was over, but those closest to Shepard had remained at the table. There was an unspoken question in the air waiting for an answer Kaidan didn’t want to give. The tension which was kept at bay by Rorie’s presence, had crept back in with her enthusiastic departure to the shuttle bay to show a hi-jacked Teryck what she could do with her biotics. Chakwas and Adams had gone with them to keep an eye on things, ever safety-minded.

“So, Alenko? Gonna tell us now how you can fuck over Shepard?” Jack’s angry voice cut through the quiet, almost making him flinch.

Kaidan held back the sigh. Jack had been glaring at him all through dinner – never one to hold back her anger. This time, James didn’t try to rein her back. Everyone stared back at Kaidan, awaiting his response. Nate stood on the floor beside him, clutching Kaidan’s fingers as he worked on his balance, the only one asides from an indifferent Wrex who wasn’t thinking the worst of him.

“Did you do it?” queried Garrus, more reasonably. “Or was it as bogus as what they tried to set Shepard up for?”

Kaidan exhaled his misery. “I don’t know. I don’t…I don’t think so. I mean…I don’t remember a thing after we left the club. I’m pretty certain she and I were drugged, while the others with me were poisoned, but I don’t know what we were given. All I know that is that at some point they took Larissa Decanus and substituted her with…a Shanti.”

“Shanti?” questioned Wrex.

“It’s what their race is called.” Kaidan knew that like it was knowledge planted there, just waiting to be accessed. “But I don’t know when that ‘exchange’ happened. We know there were at least two Shanti - one who pretended to be Shepard, and another as Decanus. Maybe that was another posing as me. Christ, I hope so,” he breathed out, his hand trembling at the notion he could be wrong. “But…I don’t know,” he admitted.

“You do not remember being intimate with that woman?” Liara leaned forward, fixed on Kaidan.

“No.”

“Well, that’s handy,” griped Jack.

Liara looked pensive. “There is a way to find out. A mind-meld. If they are there, I can access those memories lost to you, though you will also remember them after.” Her face was severe. “But that would at least be some penance should you have betrayed Shepard.”

The thought of remembering if he had cheated made Kaidan hesitate. It wasn’t something he ever wanted to face, but the alternative was to live with the question. He couldn’t be a coward. Terra deserved more. He then noticed Hackett standing in the Mess, watching it all, stoically. “Do it,” permitted Kaidan. Standing carefully so as not to dislodge his son, he tried to quell his anxiety.

Liara moved to face him. “Relax. Embrace eternity.” Her eyes turned black, and Kaidan tensed as he felt her there in his head. Liara was not as gentle as Zaliesh, and he had to concentrate on relaxing, letting her push past the instinctive barriers. Then he was re-living it in vivid flashes – the highlights of sights, sounds, feelings, and thoughts.

_Laughing and drinking with friends. He wants to go home. A batarian offers them drinks on the house. Dizziness. He leaves. Fighting to stay upright. He should make sure Rissa gets back. Stumbling through the ward to her hotel. He just wants to be back with Terra. But he’s about to lose consciousness. Rissa’s heading into a darkened corridor. A shortcut? She looks serious. He can’t think any longer. His eyes are so heavy. His head’s so foggy. Darkness. …_

_… Light. Too bright. He’s in a hotel bed. Datapad on the pillow. He feels sick with guilt. He runs._

Released from the meld, relief crashed in on Kaidan, causing his legs to feel weak and he quickly sat down, catching Nate as he wobbled and picking him up, needing the hug. He hadn’t done anything. He’d been out the entire time. When he looked up, his head aching slightly, he saw Liara’s head was bowed.

“Well?” pressed Jack. “What did that mind shit tell you?”

“He did nothing wrong.”

Something happened with that statement. The black cloud of disapproval dissipated, and it felt a big step closer to the way the Mess should feel: a place of community.

James nodded. “Glad to hear it, amigo.” He nudged Jack, who scowled back at him. “Told you not to condemn the man ‘til we had the facts. That was some weird shit happening with Lola on the Citadel, so why not Loco, too.”

Liara hadn’t taken her eyes off him. “I apologise, Kaidan. I did not treat you well.”

“It’s okay, Liara. You were looking out for Shepard.”

“It is not ‘okay’. I am no better than the Council, believing what was laid out before me, and not looking deeper. You are a friend, and I have let you down.”

“Don’t beat yourself up, Liara,” said Joker. “You weren’t alone in thinking like that. Sorry, Kaidan.”

“Ditto,” said Garrus, looking every bit as chagrined as the rest.

“Forgiven,” breathed out Kaidan. “Hell, even _I_ thought I’d done it. Thank God it wasn’t true.”

“I still don’t know what you’re all moping about,” said Wrex. “This monogamy thing you all do is unnatural. It’s in your race’s best interest to spread strong genes.”

“Some humans would agree with you,” said Cortez, “but most want something that goes beyond a primal thing. They want a connection to someone who loves them back unconditionally for _who_ they are. When you find someone like that – someone special - you don’t want anyone else.”

“Sounds like you’re just making it complicated.”

“It makes things very painful when it goes wrong,” agreed Cortez, “but I wouldn’t trade that time Robert and I had for anything.”

“Don’t pretend Shepard hasn’t snuck into that big ol’ heart,” James teased Wrex. “Or both of them.”

There was only an unintelligible grumble.

“You ever do that to her for real, and I will rip your dick off,” promised Jack.

Every male grimaced and shuffled in their seats.

“Holy shit, Bella,” murmured James, looking a little pale.

“Feeling the pressure, Jimmy?” ribbed Garrus. “I know I would be in your place.”

“Nah.” James broke out in a grin. “Like Esteban said: when you find someone special, you don’t want anyone else.”

Blinking rapidly at a sentiment Jack clearly found difficult to cope with, she returned her gaze to Kaidan. There was an apology she would never voice, and that was okay with him. “I love her, Jack. More than I could ever describe.” And he had the idea even ‘the psychotic biotic’ could comprehend that.

“I know,” whispered Liara, inadvertently garnering all of their attention. “I felt it. Such intensity. It was enough to take my breath away. I have only ever experienced it once before: in Shepard’s thoughts of _you_.”

An intense emotional wave came over Kaidan just as before, bringing with it a new surge of fear that he’d already lost her. He looked to Hackett who nodded an understanding only a father could give.

Kaidan missed his own parents. So far he’d told them nothing but to ignore the newsvids, to try not to worry, and that he’d explain when he was able. Doubting it alleviated any of their concerns, he felt more guilt over it, but the truth was far worse than being left in the darkness of ignorance. He’d spare them the torture scenes that plagued his own thoughts.

“Liara. The Avastus is in orbit and will be with us shortly,” announced Edi, from where she sat beside Joker.

“Thank you. I hope you do not mind, Kaidan, but I intend to return to my ship. I never meant to be remain here, but events dictated it. I have never been away from Eden, and I am finding it strangely distracting.”

“No need to explain, Liara.”

As her omnitool bleeped, Cael and Gardew hurried in, bringing with them a new seriousness.

“Have been in contact with associates,” said Cael.

“Not good news,” warned Gardew. “Salarian forces are on way to Tuchanka.”

“What?” growled Wrex, standing up with hands fisted, like he could hit the problem away by dealing with the messengers.

“I can confirm that,” said Liara. “Aethyta has just sent me a message. Asari forces will be joining them, along with the Alliance, though interestingly not the turians.”

“Knew Victus had a brain,” commented Garrus.

“God damn it,” muttered Hackett. “They’re playing right into Wraith’s hands, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” He stood there looking absolutely lost. It was a look Kaidan had seen on Terra when they’d stripped her of her duty. It had yet to hit Kaidan that he was in the same predicament. Having Normandy helped.

“We need to contact Alliance Command,” said Kaidan. “Send them every little thing we have. Hopefully, it’ll be enough to give them pause while Liara traces Wraith.”

“Not sure what our word means right now, but it’s worth a shot. Inaction _guarantees_ a descent into war.”

“It may be too late,” Cael said solemnly.

“Terrible state of affairs,” fretted Gardew.

Liara’s omnitool bleeped again.

“Alenko,” said Wrex. “I have no choice. I must return to Tuchanka. Whatever happens next, I won’t allow Urdnot to be used.”

“So you want us to fly right into salarian, asari and human forces, just to drop you back home?” Garrus said wryly.

“Yeah,” shrugged Wrex.

“Normandy will be otherwise engaged,” rushed out Liara. “I have a lead on a batarian base.”

“What!?” Joker jumped up and was already hurrying towards the elevator. “Why didn’t you say so?”

“I…just did.”

Kaidan didn’t catch Joker’s muttered response before the pilot vanished with Edi. “Liara?” He, like the others at the table, stood, like having a destination meant they all needed to be on their feet and ready to go. Even Nate seemed to sense the change as he looked around at them all. Trying hard to stamp down on the huge amount of hope Liara’s announcement had brought, Kaidan’s heart nevertheless thundered in both anticipation and trepidation.

“Several shipments paid for by Balak’s accounts lead back to this base,” explained Liara. “This _has_ to be it.”

“About time,” groused Jack. She looked as restless as Kaidan felt.

“ _The Avastus has docked,_ ” informed Edi _._

“Thank you. Wrex, I suggest you come with me. I can rendezvous with my father’s ship. She will take you to Tuchanka.”

“And an asari ship will be able to blend in without suspicion,” said James.

“Good.” Wrex reeled on Kaidan, blood-red eyes boring into him. Kaidan might have felt intimidated if it weren’t for Nate’s little hands that were running over the great warlord’s face as though Wrex was one of the interactive textile books he liked. “Bring her back, Alenko. And make them pay.”

“Absolutely,” he vowed.

“I will keep in constant touch until I can meet up with you again,” said Liara, encompassing Nate and himself in one embrace.

“I’ll head down with you,” said Garrus. “I should say goodbye to my father. Oh, and be sure to catch Rorie on the way out, Liara,” Garrus warned. “I made that mistake once.”

Kaidan laughed. “Shepard had to bring the ship back to dock just so Rorie could tell Uncle Garrus off for forgetting her.”

"And...if there's time, would you look into something for me?" Kaidan noticed Nate beginning to wriggle and chortle like he was being tickled. "You might need Kasumi's services, though."

"If it's something sneaky, you know I'm there," said Kasumi, appearing beside him, her fingertips dancing under Nate's socked foot.

"I'll message you once we're in the air," finished Kaidan.

" _If you're leaving, you'd better_ _hurry,_ " invaded Joker. " _'Cos I'll be ready to go in five and I'm not waiting._ "

With that not-so-subtle hint, Liara bid the others goodbye and left the Mess with Wrex and Kasumi.

Normandy was alive again - re-fuelled with a destination. And Kaidan would soon have a purpose. He just prayed they weren't too late.

**-o-O-o-**


	17. Chapter 17

As Kaidan clipped the last catch of his armour into place, it brought a new focus. He was all soldier now, as though the hard shell he now wore was another layer over his emotions, too. He had to be more than a man desperate to rescue his wife. He had to be sharp, unrushed, and in control.

" _Reaching orbit in five_ ," said Joker.

Around him, Garrus, James, Cardew and Cael finished securing their own armours. Jack was stood in her usual get-up that screamed 'insanely vulnerable' to every soldier in the room, and was collecting her weapons from Edi who was Jack's opposite with her head-to-toe hardened 'skin'. Yet, Kaidan knew better than to try to bench the biotic. Jack was her own boss when she was protecting her own, and nothing would stop her heading down with them.

Retrieving his own assault rifle and pistol, Kaidan assessed his team. Powerful in biotic, tech, and weapon skills, not to mention the experience, the seven of them made a strong unit.

Cortez was already starting the shuttle.

"Daddy?"

With that little hand on his, the soldier was gone in an instant, and Kaidan crouched down to his daughter, noting the slight frown in her brow. Did she know what they were about to do?

"What are you doing out of bed, honey?"

Looking burdened, Hackett was waiting in the elevator behind her, but he gave a small shake of his head to assure Kaidan that Rorie was still oblivious to the reason behind this mission. It was important to Kaidan that she didn't. Terra may not be down there, and that false hope would upset Rorie. Or Terra _was_ down there, and reality dictated he accept the probability she was in bad shape. Rorie didn't need to see that, and it would be far easier to keep her away if she remained unaware….

The spores. Kaidan silently cursed as he remembered that connection she shared with her mother. Rorie _would_ know. And now? Was she be able to sense her mother from this distance…?

"What if you don't come back?" Rorie asked, her brow furrowing further with distress.

It was the first time she'd ever said anything like that, and it shook Kaidan. "I…"

"Because mommy got lost, and you might too." Her forlorn look spoke volumes as to how much Terra's sudden absence was affecting her.

Behind him, Jack swore under her breath and retreated to the shuttle. Cael and Gardew followed her, respecting the private moment.

Kaidan took Rorie's hands in his. "I'm coming back, I promise."

"You don't need to worry, Nugget," James said gently. "Scars and I will make sure your papa's okay."

"That's right," backed Garrus. "There's no way he can get lost with us watching him. You can trust me on that. Okay?"

"'Kay," she sighed. "Can I wait 'til you to come back?"

The last thing Kaidan wanted was for her to be sitting up here, worrying as the seconds ticked by, and he knew Rorie's idea of a 'long time' equated to a handful of minutes rather than the hour or more they were likely to be. But what choice did he have? "Sure, honey. But if you get too tired, it's okay for you to go to bed. I'll be here when you wake."

She shook her head, obstinately. "I'll wait."

" _You can come up and keep me company, if you want,_ " said Joker, his sombreness said that Rorie's fear had hit him, too.

"Yes, please," she answered, and Kaidan hated the muted tone of her voice. Rorie then wrapped her arms round his neck, hugging him tight the way only a child could, and she finished it with a kiss to his cheek. "I love you, daddy."

"I love you, too, honey."

Rorie went back to Hackett and hugged his leg, her angelic face still showing signs of her concern. As the doors began to close she gave a sad little wave goodbye to them all that nearly broke him.

When she was out of sight, Kaidan sagged, bracing a hand against the deck as he tried to patch up the gaping chinks she'd made in his mental armour.

"Spirits, that was hard." Garrus fidgeted with his visor.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure she just grabbed all our hearts and walked away with them," puffed out James.

"I'm going to be sticking to your backside, Alenko, just so I don't let her down," warned Garrus.

Kaidan stood, heavy-hearted, but more determined than ever. "Let's do one better and bring her mother back to her, too."

"Amen to that," agreed James.

Boarding the shuttle which instantly started out towards the planet below, Kaidan sat opposite James and Jack, who had closed in on herself.

"She's down there, Bella," said James.

"She has to be." Jack's voice was hoarse, and James reached out to entwine his fingers with hers.

Kaidan looked away and focused on his omnitool.

They were in the Indris system in the batarian home cluster, Kites Nest, heading to the planet, Camala. It had once been the most successful batarian colony, with its numerous mining and refinery operations plundering the eezo-rich ground. But that had been before the reapers. It had quickly been reduced to one huge processing camp for creating cannibals, and a prime military target for the rest of the galaxy. What remained now were ruined cities almost as lifeless as the rocky desert terrain around them that sought to reclaim the land, with only small pockets of batarians trying to scrape an existence.

But Kaidan wasn't interested in causing trouble for families just trying to survive amongst the rubble of the cities. This wasn't where Liara's search had led them. They were aimed towards a remote mining facility, where shuttles had come and gone frequently even though the base was no longer functional.

He had to believe Terra was there. She needed him to find her, and he couldn't bear the thought of failing her.

-o-O-o-

Returning to consciousness was horrific. Though she was on her side, Shepard's back was an inferno of agony, and she fought not to curl up on herself; it would only pull the wounds. Her body was trembling terribly, her breath ragged as it shuddered from her lungs.

Then hands were on her. Cool hands that offered her comforting whispers. Varush in front of her, and Zaliesh behind. They couldn't lessen the pain, but it was enough to know she wasn't alone.

"How long?"

There was hesitation and Shepard chided her stupid question. Who could gage time in here?

  1. Zaliesh's hand was on hers, and she gave Shepard the aftermath of the whipping.



_The master says he won't waste his energy on giving Shepard another lash when she won't feel it. Shepard's released. Left to fall to the ground. The three-eyed master throws a small tube at her before they leave - he doesn't want Shepard to bleed out. The master isn't done with Shepard yet. The master promises her punishment when Shepard wakes._

_Alone. She picks up the tube. She knows what it is from her contact with Shepard. Medi Gel. It heals. But it isn't enough. All she can do is apply it sparingly to the worst lacerations._

Through Zaliesh, Shepard got a view of her back she'd rather have remained oblivious to. So many ragged grooves were slashed into her flesh. What wasn't torn, was puffy from the trauma, and everything was covered in blood. Of course, she didn't need to see it to know that it was bad – she was feeling it.

She had to move. To get up and assess the damage done.

Bracing her hand on the floor, Shepard slowly started moving herself onto her knees. It was difficult. Her limbs wouldn't stop shaking, and every slight movement brought more pain, fresh blood trickling anew as the movement broke the delicate barriers provided by her body's natural healing process. But she gritted her teeth against it and carried on. She'd had worse, right? Nothing could compare to being hit with a reaper beam. That had almost killed her. This…this was just a flesh wound. A really fucking painful one that had left her system shocked by the brutality inflicted upon it.

Ever more determined to be on her feet the next time Balak walked through that door, Shepard forced herself upright. Her uniform hung loosely, kept in place only because of the collar and sleeves, but she was beyond caring about her modesty. Wavering a little as the pain made her dizzy, Shepard held her ground. Then she checked her flexibility, raising her arms up and around. It hurt like a son-of-a-bitch – enough to bring tears to her eyes and a soft sob to her throat – but though it felt tight in some places, she wasn't restricted. Any damage done to her muscles had been helped by the medigel. She just wished she could stop the damn shaking.

The issue was deep inside her. Asides from the constant nausea of trauma, there was a part of her that felt detached, and it scared her. Vulnerability didn't come easily to her. Focused on the walls and floor that were streaked with her blood, a cold anger grew, seething and dark in its intent. She wanted them dead.

She looked at the two Shanti. Zaliesh had stood with her, but Shepard noticed Varush remained on the floor. His head was bowed, and he still shivered with the after-shock of his own torture. He exuded hopelessness.

"Varush." He slowly looked at her as she crouched and placed her hand gently on his shoulder. Though she knew she didn't need to verbalise it, using her mind didn't come naturally to her. "Don't give up hope."

He looked back at her, a little incredulous. "Even after this? So much pain…." His whispery voice broke, and Shepard felt an immense empathy with him.

 _Even now._ Shepard put as much belief into that as she could so he would feel it. A lot of people were looking for her, she was sure of it.

Varush read her and understood. _Your soulmate._

Kaidan. There was a horrible kick in her gut that must have translated to Varush somehow, because he frowned and shook his head.

 _No. Not him. Me._ He then showed her.

_Kaidan stumbling through the ward with the female – except not the female. It was Vasha. His Vasha. She leads the human to the alley where he waits. The masters are watching from the dark. He takes the pill he was given and strange things happen to him. It sickens him – not here, not like this - but he's losing himself to the intensity of it. Kaidan sinks to the ground, unconscious._

_He changes to look like this man. If he fails, the masters will punish the others. But he fights the false feelings inside his body. He loves Vasha, but not like this._

_The masters drag Kaidan into the tunnels. It is time. Vasha pulls him nearer to the alley's entrance. He tries to connect to her, but she's gone. She was lost to the masters long before they came here. His soulmate has been destroyed on the inside. Just a shell left. She kisses him and he's pulled into it through a need that's not his own. She rips open the fabric covering her, forces his hand lower. He wants her, but she's beyond his reach._

Shepard blinked back the tears as she felt his heartbreak. Despite his own pain, Varush had sought to ease hers. And it had worked. There was something inside her that was healing. A truth cemented in her mind. Kaidan hadn't touched that woman, and she had the 'memory' to fend off the image Balak had placed there.

She sent her gratitude the way the Shanti did: with thought and feeling, and Varush gave the barest of smiles. But that smile was terribly brittle. These people didn't deserve what was happening to them.

When the cell door slid open, her Shanti friends gasped in fear, Zaliesh instantly falling to her knees beside Varush and both bowing in submission. Though Shepard didn't react to the door, Balak's appearance fed both her fear and fury. It made her feel manic. She was losing control.

"Shame. I was hoping to give you an ice-cold wake-up call."

Behind him, five batarians walked in, two of whom carried in a large wooden pail of iced water, a cloth floating on the surface, and ice hitting the sides as it sloshed. Involuntarily, Shepard backed away from the threat with an irrational panic, hissing as her back touched the rear wall. Balak saw it and there was a satisfaction on his face that Shepard wanted to scratch off with nothing but her nails.

She noticed she was being filmed again, and wondered where it was being streamed. Were there colonies of batarians shouting out at their screens in hate, and cheering as Balak 'performed', or was this for their own sick pleasure, to watch again later?

"Ready to submit to me now, Shepard?"

Shepard returned her deadliest look at Balak. "Go to hell."

Balak laughed. "We're already here. I rule, and _you_ will suffer for eternity." He jerked his head at his men, who wrestled Shepard to the ground on her belly, two holding her legs down, and two who twisted her arms up behind her back so she could feel the ruined flesh of her back beneath her fingers. Then Balak looked at Zaliesh. "But first…. I promised you a punishment, and I keep my word. Bring in the kid," he called over his shoulder.

Shepard's horror was complete as the child was led into the room by Kadarl. Rorie…but _not_ her; a Shanti made to look like her daughter. Zaliesh began to weep, her hands reaching out. This was _Zaliesh's_ daughter. Balak grabbed the child by the back of her neck and with one move, withdrew a blade and placed it to the child's throat.

"Say goodbye-" started Balak.

Everything went into slow motion. What her eyes were seeing was Rorie – petrified - and it tore through Shepard. "No! Wait! I'll submit! I'll submit! Please!" She struggled under the weight of the batarians.

Balak's blade stilled, pressed so hard on that delicate skin that the pale blood trickled down as the child began to cry. "While I may be playing with your head, _this_ isn't about you, Shepard. This is about showing who's in charge, and that I don't accept failure. It's a lesson 077 has to learn. _Your_ next lesson will be coming straight after." The blade pressed deeper into that skin as he prepared to make the cut.

All Shepard could think was how she could stop this from happening. "You fucking coward. Is that the best you can do? You're nothing but a sadistic bastard who would have spread your viciousness to your children. I did the galaxy a bigger favour than I realised by destroying them." She didn't mean that for one second, but it enraged Balak, just as she'd wanted.

Shoving the child to the ground, Balak stormed over to her, grabbed her little finger and yanked it hard enough to break. The sharp pain had her moaning into the ground, her forehead touching the cool surface. Then Balak removed her wedding band and engagement ring from her next finger.

"I'll send these back to Alenko. Give him a little something to remember you by. It's the least I can do after he gave me this opportunity."

And he broke that finger too. Then came her middle and index fingers. She nearly passed out, but it wasn't to be. Yanking her head up by her hair, Balak pressed the blade up under her throat as he snarled.

"You'd like me to lose control, wouldn't you? To kill you now, like this; one quick swipe and it'll all be over." The blade left. "But I'm always in control, Shepard. And you _will_ beg – but not to save another's life. For me to end your own."

Slamming her head down and breaking her nose in the process, Balak released Shepard and hauled the child to her feet.

With her vision blurred from the pained tears, Shepard could hear Zaliesh begging for her child's life, and there was nothing she could do to stop it, just as when they'd had Nate.

In that instant something broke inside her. It was like that dark hole that had formed from the torture, was breached, and it spread through her, filling her with nothing but its blackness. She should have done better back in her apartment. Been a better protector.

Her vision clear, she looked up to see the blade at the throat of 'Rorie'. She would watch the price of her ineptitude and failure. She could see Balak's muscles tensing as he was about to make the cut.

"Wait." Kadarl was looking at his omnitool. "We're receiving an alert from perimeter sensor _C_ 9."

"C9. Interesting…."

Shepard watched Balak's blade lower, her heartrate quickening at the possibility it was Kaidan.

"Jabak. Take over here while I go see who we've got sniffing around. When you're done, the female slave's yours to do with as you please."

The weight lifted from Shepard's right leg. Jabak. The one who had made himself a harem.

"Stader. Keep filming." Balak left with Kadarl, and now there were five.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan was hunkered down on a rise over-looking their target through his scope. The base was a few clicks ahead, only the barest of light illuminating the single entrance that disappeared into the rock. This mining facility looked thoroughly wrecked from the outside. All that had survived from the habitats that had surrounded it, were the odd piece of metal sticking out from the ground here and there.

"Looks like we're hitting them from the front," muttered James.

It wasn't ideal, but it was clear that this was the _only_ way in.

 _"There doesn't seem to be any look-outs,"_ reported Garrus who had taken the two salarians to recon the area from another angle. _"Either they're extremely well hidden or those inside are arrogant enough to think they couldn't be found."_

"Let's assume the former," said Kaidan, uneasily. "Edi? You're certain you're not getting _anything_?"

"All I can detect is a faint static. Nothing I recognise."

"Could it be some kind of scrambler?"

"Possible."

"Everyone stay sharp. We're moving forward." Kaidan rose, weapon poised, and James fell in beside him. Edi and Jack brought up the rear, and together they made their way down what was close to a dune, the ground was so dry.

On level ground, Garrus, Cael and Gardew joined them, though they didn't take their eyes off their surroundings, the others all fanning out as they slowly, cautiously made their way across the open ground towards the facility.

But Kaidan couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong here.

When Garrus's foot kicked a small rock and sent it skittering over the ground in front of them, none of them expected the jaws of a metal trap to spring up to capture it, and they all froze in place.

"Fuck!" Jack voiced it for all of them.

With a large distance to cover from where they were, all the way over to the entrance, this was going to be slow going.

-o-O-o-

Shepard relaxed into the ground, her cheek against the floor, but her view unhindered. The pain – in her left hand, at her back – was in the background, too intense to be forgotten, but unimportant. She was an N7. She was the first human Spectre. She'd beat down the Reapers. She'd beat down the Leviathans. She was Shepard.

Jabak took out his own knife. Standing behind 'Rorie', he bent to her ear. "Let's get this over with so I can go play with your mother."

As the others laughed at his intent to rape Zaliesh, Shepard took advantage of their distraction. With her free leg she twisted her lower body and back-kicked her heel into the face of the one holding her left leg. With his yelp of pain, the other two turned to their comrade, both letting go of her to reach for their guns. But Shepard was already making use of her freed arms, her working hand grabbing the blade from the batarian's thigh holster on her right as she pushed herself up and back-first into the batarian on her left.

One slash and she had opened the arteries in the throat of the knife's owner, and he dropped his weapon as he clutched at his neck. A back-thrust at the batarian she'd knocked into, and the blade sliced through fingers that were withdrawing his gun. Then she threw the knife into the one who was still cursing into his palms from her heel-strike, embedding itself in his forehead, dead-centre.

Swinging round, she caught the head of the batarian howling over his missing fingers and broke his neck, removed his blade from his holster before he collapsed, and threw that at the stunned Jabak. It caught him in the neck, sending him reeling back and away from 'Rorie', but Shepard lurched towards the last batarian and his damn omnitool, kicking out hard and propelling him backwards into the wall, the impact causing his knees to crumple beneath him.

Quickly disarming both surviving batarians, Shepard led the petrified child to Zaliesh, who hugged her to her instantly. Shepard allowed herself only the briefest appreciation of that moment before she returned to the batarians.

Keeping an eye on Jabak who held the hilt of the knife in his neck like he wanted to use it against her but had the sense not to remove it, Shepard crouched in front of the other, dazed batarian. "Stader, right?" She removed the still-open omnitool from his wrist, shut down the recording, and took a closer look. It wasn't transmitting, the recording was simply saved to a file, so it would provide her no answers as to who this was for the benefit of. Then she tried to get a message out, but it wasn't connecting. Did they have a scrambler in place? Useless to her, she closed the tool and rammed it into the batarian's mouth, taking out teeth in the process. He choked, struggling for breath, but Shepard restrained the hands that tried to reach up and pull it out. She felt nothing. Then he stopped moving, and she was satisfied. One more to go.

"Jabak."

"Think about this, Shepard," he rasped, trying to back away from her without dislodging the blade. She was sorry she'd missed his windpipe – now she'd have to listen to him. "Balak's going to flay you alive for what you've done here."

Even the mention of Balak sent a shiver through her, and that pissed her off more.

"But let me live and I'll put in a good word for you."

She laughed, though she felt no mirth. He was begging for his life and she didn't care. There was no shred of mercy left in her. "So you can go and force yourself on your harem again?"

He tried to fight her as she leaned over him, but she simply pulled out the knife, leaving him desperately trying to staunch the blood with both hands while she dragged him with her one good hand over to the water. Putting every bit of strength she had into it, Shepard forced his head into the water and held it there. It wasn't necessary - he was dying anyway – but she numbly watched the water turn red from his blood until his flailing stopped and the air bubbles ceased to surface. She should have felt something during that – some kind of empathy at a death she'd endured herself – but there was nothing.

Straightening, she looked around the room. In the space of a minute she'd killed them all, with not a shot fired to alert anyone. Varush and Zaliesh looked back at her, stunned. She had to get them out of here. Maybe it was Kaidan and the others out there, but maybe it wasn't, and she had to deal with this like it was the latter.

Gathering up every weapon and heat sink the five dead batarians possessed, Shepard set to work on re-setting the fingers of her left hand. It was an agonising exercise, but necessary if she was to have any chance of regaining its use. Her nose came next. When she'd finished, Shepard wiped the tears and blood from her face. Her back felt like it was on fire, but they didn't seem to carry medigel on them, and she could use the pain - it just made her angrier. Colder.

"I need you to give me what you have on the lay-out of this place." She sounded harsh, even to her own ears.

It was Varush who stood and touched her hand. At first she sensed his concern for her, but she pushed it away with a ferocity that frightened him. It ignited a shame that gave her some hope that she wasn't completely consumed by the hate. Nevertheless, she wasted no time on apologies and put across the urgency. Balak would be back and she needed to get them all out of here.

Then she could feel the information there – memories, like she'd actually walked the corridors beyond those she'd done so physically. Thankfully, the passageways off the central chamber weren't the only routes to those areas. Varush had little or no comprehension of what he'd seen, but Shepard didn't have that problem. She now knew where communications was, and that would be where Balak had gone. Engineering room, armoury, medbay, sleeping quarters for 'the masters' and those for the conditioned Shanti, holding cells for the new intake of slaves – she knew every location.

Zaliesh joined them, her daughter clutched at her side, and Shepard knew her first priority as she looked at the frightened child who had mercifully resumed her proper form, was getting as many Shanti out as possible, where they couldn't be used by Balak or his men. That meant heading to the engineering room. She visualised her plan for Varush and Zaliesh, hoping there was enough fight left in them to stand up to Balak, and was relieved when they both nodded.

This was her opportunity to do better by Zaliesh, and Varush. She couldn't fail again.

-o-O-o-

Balak stared at the screens that fed back the images of those who had tripped the sensors. It was grainy, sent through unsophisticated equipment along a mishmash of antiquated and modern channels, but there was no mistaking Alenko and his people. Wraith was right: they weren't able to discover the basic detection system.

"Let's ready them a welcome for when they get inside." He shifted uncomfortably in his armour. "And someone find out why it's so fucking hot in here."

" _Captain. The slaves brought in on the new shipment have gone missing._ "

Irritated by the interruption, Balak slammed his hand down on the comm. "Then find them."

" _We can't. Infrared's useless in this heat, and when the engineers checked, they found that the environmental controls have been tampered with. There's nothing they can do to reduce the temperature without a complete overhaul."_

Balak stilled, then hit the comm again. "Jabak. Report." Only silence returned.

Kadarl armed himself. "Shepard. I knew this would happen if you kept fucking around."

Holding back the urge to put a bullet in Kadarl's face, Balak alerted his men. "That bitch isn't leaving here alive."

-o-O-o-

Zaliesh shook her head as she let go of the hand of another female Shanti. Shepard had witnessed this so many times in the last few minutes. Another soul destroyed by Balak and his men. There was nothing to save here. They were either empty shells, reacting on autopilot to their 'masters' demands, or they were so frightened at the prospect of doing anything to make the masters mad, that no manner of assurance could convince them to leave with them.

The first groups had been easy. Yes, they were scared, but they'd come in fresh off their world, and none questioned Varush and Zaliesh. But as Shepard had feared, those who had been here longest were the hardest to reach. They'd managed to persuade only a handful. She hated to leave any one of them behind, but there was no choice.

There was just one more thing she needed to do before she left.

Though the Shanti had merely slipped by their captors with ease, they were still stuck on this planet. She knew enough from the little that Varush could show her of the outside, that they were isolated, that the ships that brought them here were kept at an unknown location, and the shuttles only dropped off or picked up before returning to their ships. Her only real option asides from hoping they stumbled upon those ships, was to get a message out and/or get the ships location. But that meant heading deeper into the facility.

As she had known it would, the heat provided the Shanti the protection they needed from the infrared visors, but Shepard didn't have the option of blending into the background. So far she'd evaded and launched surprise attacks with the borrowed knives, and it had kept her travel silent, but that luck wouldn't hold out.

Sending Zaliesh to join her daughter and the others on the outside, with the order to get them to a safer distance, Shepard simply walked through the corridors, her weapons concealed, with Varush beside her. His hand was on her shoulder, and his thoughts were open to her.

_I'm scared._

All Shepard could do was extend her confidence in him. _You can do this. This is what you do to survive. You know everything you need to. Now use it. I'm right here._ For her part, she felt icy-calm, and she hoped Varush could absorb a little of that too.

They were close. When they rounded the last corner to see two batarians, Varush's hand gripped her shoulder tighter, and she felt his fear.

 _Be him. Only him. You're in charge now._ Shepard bowed her head, kept her hands clasped behind her, and tried not to shiver at the vision Varush made as 'Balak', as she fed Varush the lines.

"Tell the others to stand down," Varush ordered in Balak's voice. "Shepard's in hand. We can replace the slaves. And get the engineers to get this heat under control or they'll be meat for the varren."

"Yes, Captain." The men turned, and Shepard dispatched them quickly with her blade and dragged them into the communication room with her, her only regret: that it wasn't Balak.

Wasting no time, she went straight to the terminal, hacked in, and simply typed: **Shep** , and pressed send just as the power-point exploded and shut down the system, plunging them into darkness. Diving to the side, Shepard rolled and aimed her pistol towards the door just as back-up generators kicked in to soak them in a low light, to see Varush being held in front of Kadarl.

He expected her to hesitate and give him time to re-train his gun on her new position, but Shepard didn't. She fired. One shot, straight in an eye, right past Varush's temple. The Shanti male gaped back at her, but Shepard was focused on the sparking power junction. While the generators gave them light, it didn't extend to the terminals. There was no way she was repairing the power-point, and with it went her hope of getting the coordinates for those ships. She doubted her message had gotten out.

It was a setback, but she'd think on it when she was out of here.

Varush mimicked Balak again, and Shepard once more wavered between fear and hatred. So stupid. She'd seen Varush change, but she couldn't seem to remain logical.

They were traversing the corridors again. A group of batarians passed by with a submissive lowering of their heads to 'Balak' and a glare to her. This time she had to let them pass by – it was too risky to try to handle that many when others could appear at any time.

With each step she felt the tension rise as the chance of running into Balak himself grew higher. She could feel the sweat trailing down her face, from the heat and more. Where was he?

-o-O-o-

What should have been a five minute traverse to the mining facility was going to end up to be more than double that as they slowly picked a path through the minefield of spring traps, and the hatch still felt too far away.

Every so often the entrance would open, causing them to tighten fingers on triggers in preparation for a fight. But each time there was nothing. No gunfire, no sign of life. The damn thing must be malfunctioning. And so they resumed.

Kaidan's teeth were gritted so tight from frustration, his jaw ached.

"Fuck this! I don't care if they know we're coming!" Jack shoved them aside, lit up and sent a powerful shockwave carving its way through the ground creating an explosion of metal traps bursting up from the sand.

When the loud cracks had finally ceased, they all stood there, tense in the ensuing silence, expecting a surge of attackers. Nothing.

As angry as he was with Jack for her impatient display, Kaidan also wished she'd done it sooner, noting that there had been no traps in a large arc around the entrance itself. Given that they'd given their arrival away for sure now, they could have had Cortez drop them right outside the damned door.

Accelerating quickly through the safe area Jack had made, Kaidan decided that if anyone was inside, they were holding their ground from within. It wouldn't matter. He was ready for them.

"There's definitely been activity," said Cael.

"Boot marks," clarified Gardew, "and signs of shuttles landing."

Kaidan sensed the energy exuding from them all. No-one would be holding back now.

-o-O-o-

Shepard was finally stepping into the main chamber with its pit.

"Clear out," ordered 'Balak'. "Seal the passages. No one comes in," and those batarians that lingered in the large space, meandered off.

"Damn, you're handy," murmured Shepard. Without Varush and his abilities she'd have had to fight her way through every one of them, and judging from the dizzy sluggishness she was beginning to experience due to her blood loss from the open cuts at her back which were bleeding so much they were soaking the back of her pants, she would likely have failed. They would need tending to very soon or she'd be useless, and she'd grabbed some supplies on their way here for when she was free.

They edged round the pit. The bottom showed no signs of the blood that had seeped into it from before, and Shepard imagined that the bodies of those ten Shanti were still lying there, now buried.

One last hatch and they would be in the tunnel leading out.

-o-O-o-

They'd quickly jammed open the malfunctioning outer hatch, and Kaidan led Garrus, Edi, James and Jack in while Gardew and Cael stood sentry outside in case anyone tried to come up behind them.

Kaidan's eyes strained in the low light, each step as quiet as he could make it, his hands clutching his rifle tightly as it led the way. He listened intently for a sound of life. The scrape of a boot, the soft drone of voices, the distinct sound of moving armour, or weapon adjusting in someone's hand – it was all lacking, and Kaidan didn't like that.

" _Hey, Loco_." James's low voice came through Kaidan's ear-piece. " _This is starting to feel like it could be another ambush_."

"And there's not a lot of room to move here," added Garrus, right at Kaidan's six, just like he'd said he'd be.

" _Kaidan. Normandy has received a broken transmission. From Shepard_."

They all looked at Edi.

She continued off the comm. "I cannot isolate the source precisely – it was cut-off - but it _did_ originate from within the Kites Nest Cluster."

"So we're in the right place."

"And if Shepard's got a message out, then she's okay," grasped Jack. "For now. Let's do this, _now_."

They were at the end of the tunnel now, a single closed hatch, and they gathered round it, listening.

"I can hear something," said Kaidan, and the others confirmed it. At last some sign of life, and he was ready for a fight. At Kaidan's nod, James hit the release and they swung in.

-o-O-o-

When the hatch slid open before she and Varush got to it, Shepard automatically swung her pistol up and moved in front of Varush to protect him.

What she saw was at first difficult for her to comprehend in her current state. "Kaidan?"

He lowered his gun, a smile forming on that handsome face. It was him. "At last, I found you."

And Shepard sagged in relief as he stepped forward to hug her. When she held him tight, everything went into slow motion as several things flagged up in horrified warning. Instead of armour, she felt skin. He didn't smell like Kaidan. He didn't hold her like Kaidan.

Then she was aware of Varush's hand on her shoulder and his _No!_ filled her head. _Vasha!_

Tensing, she began to pull back, staring at that handsome face she loved, and that's when the blade was thrust into her abdomen. Gasping as she felt it slice into her, Shepard reacted, bringing up her pistol and firing it right at his chest. She was left staring in shock at the face of Kaidan dead, and even as it melted away to the Shanti, she couldn't rid herself of the image of Kaidan stabbing her, and her killing him. Except it wasn't Kaidan… It was Varush's soulmate.

The pistol was knocked from her hand, and Balak was there, one hand clamping round the back of her neck to hold her in place, and his other hand grasping hold of the blade in her abdomen. Instinctively, she placed her trembling hand over his on the hilt, meeting Balak's grinning visage with her weakening defiant one.

-o-O-o-

The hatch opened onto a central chamber with what had once been passageways leading off, but were now blocked by cave-ins. The heat permeated down from the desert above, and Kaidan found it hard to breathe. But his discomfort wasn't important.

He led the way through piles of crates that had been recently placed here, and mounds of old excavated earth, towards the source of the sound and light at the far wall.

It was a screen and Kaidan's breath hitched as he saw what it was broadcasting. Terra, being held down, her body going rigid as they drowned her, her body collapsing as she succumbed, only to be revived and put through it all again. Then it changed. She was strung up and he flinched as the whip tore open her back.

Then Garrus was in front of him, staring back at him with a look Kaidan had never seen, blocking his view, but Christ he could _hear_ it.

"Edi. Get what you can from whatever's receiving this, fast," growled Garrus.

"It is limited. They are using a strange channel I cannot interface with."

"Then kill it."

James did the honours with his shotgun, his face as grim as the others. Then he went to Jack, who was pacing agitatedly, her biotics swirling at her fists.

Kaidan pulled away from Garrus and stalked over to the crates, removing one lid after another. Every single one was empty. This place was just a decoy. Somewhere to lure them and show them what they were doing to Terra. "Edi. How many systems in Kites Nest?"

"Four: Harsa, Indris, Untrel, and Vular."

"How many planets?" From the pause, Kaidan knew Edi understood what he was asking.

"Harsa has five planets and an asteroid belt. Indris has five planets. Untrel has four planets and an asteroid belt. Vular has three planets and three asteroid belts. Not all planets are habitable, but you must take into consideration the possibility of Shepard being held on a station off-planet."

The message was clear: it was too large an area for them to scour alone. Hell, she could be at another location on this very planet and it would take an age to find her without anything to go on.

"Leave." His voice was deceptively calm.

"Kaidan?" questioned Garrus.

"Now. Get out."

There was hesitation, but they finally left, though Kaidan was certain Garrus would only have gone as far as the tunnel.

His biotics were already swarming over his skin, prickling at his flesh like it was a living thing and could understand, and with a roar that poured out all of his frustration and anger and fear, he sent all of that energy pulsing out, throwing stacks of crates into walls, pummelling at the sealed tunnels until there was nothing but darkness beyond as he opened up long-sealed passages that taunted him with routes to more empty places. He had all this power. He could move the earth, he could take life, he could save it… so why couldn't he find a way to Terra? Why couldn't he save _her_?

Kaidan could still see Terra's torture playing out so vividly in his mind. And it was tormenting him.

-o-O-o-

"Impressive. You nearly made it." Balak huffed at Shepard, and glanced at Varush. "You even managed to get more loyalty out of this slave than I did. But look at you now. Reduced to a flayed, gasping wreck." He laughed. "What does that make you now?"

At first Shepard wavered. For a moment fear had won. He'd crawled inside her and frozen her to the spot. But she'd been here before, with the thresher maws, and she'd stood up against that fear, faced it, dealt with it, and exiled it. Balak was just a man. And he was right in front of her.

Coldness returned. "I'm an Alliance Navy Admiral. N7. First human Spectre." Gripping his hand tighter with her damaged one, she yanked the blade from her body, and as Balak resisted what he thought was her attempt to turn the blade on him, Shepard pulled another from her thigh pocket and rammed it up under his chin.

Reeling back, Balak looked stunned. His hands tried to find the hilt but kept missing as his brain was unable to send the signals to his limbs. She followed him at a leisurely pace, relinquishing him of his rifle and shotgun as he staggered - the only ability he appeared to maintain was the notion of survival in getting away from her - and she moved around to herd him further into the room.

When she was satisfied with his position, she gripped the collar of his armour, rummaged in his pockets until she'd retrieved her rings from him, then let go, stepped back, and kicked him hard in the midriff, sending him falling into the pit. She stood on the edge, looking in. Balak was writhing in the last throes of his death, and still staring up at her in shock.

"I'm Shepard."

Then he stopped moving. With one last look, Shepard thought it too kind a way to die after what he'd inflicted on others.

A passage door opened. Someone who hadn't got the message to stay out, or who was brave enough to risk Balak's ire. Whatever, Shepard was ready. Strafing the entrance with gunfire, she brought the unfortunate interloper down, and backed into the exit tunnel with Varush. More would come now, and she wasn't capable of a sustained evasion. Shepard could feel the life draining out of her. She needed medigel fast. She needed time.

Closing the hatch, she ripped off the control panel and jammed it, before heading down the tunnel and out into the hot, humid, jungle-like surroundings.

**-o-O-o-**


	18. Chapter 18

Kaidan walked through a Normandy that was quiet and lifeless. After stepping off the shuttle, he’d dumped his unused armour and weapons and headed straight up to the cockpit without a word to anyone.

As he approached, Joker turned to him, markedly pale-faced. “It’s not over. Liara will give us something else.”

“They’ll be nothing except whatever Balak wants us to find.” It was a harsh truth, but Kaidan couldn’t find it in him to soften it for the pilot. He felt too raw. Instead, he crouched in front of the co-pilot’s seat. Curled up in a little ball that made her look tinier than ever, Rorie had fallen fast asleep, and Kaidan was reminded of her mother doing just the same.

It hit him hard again, his hands trembling so much he had to clench them into fists. He’d let Terra down. He’d let their children down.

“So where do we go next?”

Kaidan sighed at Joker’s forced upbeat question. “I don’t know.”

“Then think, goddamn it!” Joker gritted it out, his voice low so as not to disturb Rorie, but no less severe. “Don’t you give up on her.”

Kaidan swung round, anger rising. “I will never give up on her, but what the fuck do you expect me to do? We have nothing to go on and four whole damn systems to search! You didn’t see what they…” His voice broke as he remembered, and he cleared his throat. “You didn’t see what they’ve done to her, Joker. She doesn’t have the time for us to wander aimlessly.”

Joker audibly swallowed. “What’s the alternative? Stay still and do nothing? There’s _got_ to be something to narrow it down. We just haven’t found it yet.” The pilot sniffed, his mouth turning down so far Kaidan was sure he was about to bawl. “There’s got to be.”

They needed some kind of hope, but Kaidan didn’t know where to begin grasping for it. Looking at his slumbering daughter, Kaidan ran his hand softly over her head. “Maybe she’s our best chance. We don’t need boots on the ground. You just have to get the ship close enough to a planet for her to be able to find a link to her mother.”

“So we keep going?”

“I…I don’t know,” Kaidan said, honestly. What he wanted to do and what was sensible were two different things and he had to dig deep for the General. “There’s fuel to consider. It took a lot just to get here, and this cluster is on the Alliance’s travel advisory list because it lacks fuelling stations.” In the aftermath of the reapers, Kites Nest hadn’t been anyone’s priority when it came to enabling easy travel, except to the batarians still surviving here, and they’d been all but forgotten about with no government to organise them and fight for their interests.

“Okay, so we have to head back to the relay system,” conceded Joker, “but we could afford a little detour to the next viable planet first, right? That’s Ramlat. I suppose Cholis is a possibility, but we’d have to double back on ourselves. The other planets here are totally inhospitable.”

There was an expanse of space that Joker wasn’t referencing. _Were_ they in the right system? Would Joker’s detour take them away from Terra? Or right by her, if only they were to go a little further in a certain direction? It was driving him crazy that they might be close to her and not know it.

Joker was staring back at him, expectantly. Drained, Kaidan could only nod – maybe this would take them straight to her - and while Joker immediately busied himself with his new task, Kaidan carefully scooped Rorie up and carried her out.

Once he’d gotten her up to the cabin, Kaidan laid her down beside her slumbering brother, and she peered up at him through drowsy eyes.

“Daddy.” She even managed a lazy smile, and his chest tightened.

“I’m here, honey, just like I’d said I’d be. You can go to sleep now.”

“’Kay,” she whispered, already closing her eyes again.

Kaidan watched her a little longer – that face so like Terra’s. How could he ask her to try to reach for her mother’s mind? Who knew what state Terra was in now? She’d tried to get a message out to them, and it had been cut off…. Was she suffering right now for that attempt? Scrubbing his hands over his face in a bid to rid himself of the torture scenes, Kaidan moved away from the bed and into the elevator. When the doors closed behind him, he punched the metal wall of the cab several times, needing a release for the bedlam inside him.

How dare they hurt her? She nearly gave her life to protect them all, and they do this? How can there be any justification for torture? He felt sick. He felt enraged. He felt powerless. … He felt responsible.

“Kaidan.”

His father-in-law’s hand on his shoulder brought him back, and Kaidan jerked away from the wall, flexed his bruised hand as he tried to regain himself, and turned to step out onto the crew deck, where Hackett aimed him towards the observation room.

The view of blackness dotted with the light of stars was usually a calming sight, and Kaidan slumped into a seat as he stared out. But this time all he saw was the endless space he had to search. He was so damn tired. They needed help, but the best avenues were closed to them.

“Did I do the right thing, Steven? Should I have stayed, argued my case, made them see the truth? We could be out here with a fleet of ships right now, searching. Instead, I’ve made us all fugitives and dragged my kids along for the ride, and for what? An exercise in futility.”

“We’ve all made mistakes along the way, but getting out from under the Citadel and Alliance wasn’t one of them. You _know_ we’d all still be sitting in a cell, banging our heads against the walls. It may not feel like it now, but we’re in the right place.” Hackett sat beside him.

Kaidan leaned forward, elbows on his knees and sank his head into his hands. “No, we’re not. If we were in the right place, Terra would be here, safe, instead of….” He pressed his lips together, not trusting his voice to hold out if he carried on.

“You’ve got to lock away what you saw. It’s meant to mess with you. Don’t let it.” Hackett stood and moved to look out of the viewing window, hands clasped behind his back in that quintessential admiral’s pose. “By rubbing it in our faces, they’ve made a mistake. One we can use.”

Startled, Kaidan stared at the back of Hackett’s head. “What?”

“Edi may not have been able to trace back the origins of that transmission, but she _did_ record it.”

Frowning, Kaidan couldn’t comprehend how having a file of Terra’s torture at hand to replay was in any way helpful.

“While the footage from the Citadel couldn’t categorically prove Terra was taken against her will, when we put it together with T’Soni’s evidence gathered from Balak’s accounts that led us to Camala, and _what_ you found there, the Council and Alliance can’t ignore it.”

“You’ve sent it all to them already.” Kaidan wasn’t sure how he felt about those horrific images of Terra being watched by those who’d turned their backs on her the second it suited them. “Why? To get in their good graces again?” It was a bitter comment that voiced itself before his brain could apply reason.

“We need them. We need their manpower.”

“You’re placing a lot of faith in them.”

“At its heart, both the Council and Alliance are an ideal we both believe in. Unity. Protection. It’s why we’ve dedicated so much of our lives in service for them. We know they’re far from perfect – frustratingly blinkered at times – but history’s proven they can be steered on the right course. We just need to punch them hard enough to make them take notice.”

And that was what Terra’s torture would accomplish: the fist that would get their attention. “A silver lining?” Kaidan was disgusted at the thought.

“A way to turn Balak’s taunt into something that can unite us all again.”

That unexpected result would drive Balak insane, and that would have appealed to Kaidan, but for one thing. “Terra will pay for it.”

Hackett’s bowed his head at that, then twisted to look at Kaidan. “Go watch that footage again and tell me she isn’t already.” From his grey face, Kaidan realised Hackett had viewed it. “The faster we find them, the sooner we can make Balak pay. For that, we need numbers.”

Kaidan nodded in the silence that hung heavy between them. But even if the Alliance and the Council swung straight into action over this, time still remained, ticking away.

-o-O-o-

Through his scope, Thurak watched in satisfaction as Urdnot’s clan members allowed Wreav in.

It had worked. The first ships had been spotted over Tuchanka: asari, salarian, and human. The female, Bakara, was now going unheard. Wreav, as leader of Urdnot, would lead the other clans in just the direction he wanted: war. Thurak would let Wreav lead from the front – the first to fall, taking Urdnot with him. Then, Jorgal would take the fore, and lead the others to krogan glory. They would be ready to unleash war with the dawn.

The sound of a shuttle attracted his attention. A single vessel, so it must be some vain hope the Council had of finding a diplomatic solution. It wouldn’t happen, and he looked forward to seeing it play out badly for whoever stepped out.

Interestingly, it landed at the Hallows.

Jumping into a tomkah, Thurak made his way across the plain followed by several of his clan. There were more tomkahs travelling from Urdnot. The scouts of the more distant clans would be sending word back, and their people would be here soon. Perfect opportunity for him to set their course into motion.

The Hallows always felt cool, quiet, lending weight to the reverence of this place. This was a place of respect, and it irked him that an outsider would set foot where their ancestors lay buried.

Until the other clans arrived, it was just Jorgal and Urdnot, and they faced each other, looking around for the occupants of shuttle.

“I am Thurak, chief of clan Jorgal. Show yourself.”

“Wreav. Chief of Urdnot,” followed Wreav.

“You haven’t earned that title, _boy_.” A krogan stepped out of the shadows. Wrex. An unwelcome sight.

“I was given it by our clan.”

“They can’t give away what isn’t theirs. _I’m_ chief. You want to take Urdnot for yourself, you’ll challenge me as our tradition dictates.”

“Tradition? What do you care for tradition, Urdnot Wrex?” mocked Thurak. “What traditions do you follow?”

“All of them, except for the ones that will lead us to extinction.” Wrex spun slowly in place, meeting the eye of every krogan. “Have I not proven that by curing the genophage? Have I not led you to war when a new threat materialised from the yahg?”

There was a collective rumble of agreement, and Thurak knew Wreav was a lost bet. Other clans and their chiefs had filed into the Hallows, listening intently.

Wrex swung back to Wreav. “So? _Brother_.”

Wreav’s hands fisted, a low growl emanating from deep in his chest. Then he launched himself at Wrex, brandishing a blade. Wrex reacted swiftly, deflecting the knife and catching Wreav’s wrist in a vice-like grip.

Wrex’s face was right in Wreav’s. “Violence within the Hallows is forbidden. You’ve shamed yourself, brother.”

Immediately Wreav was restrained by those around him and hauled out of the Hallows. Pride would dictate that he’d try to take Wrex out again, but he would fail. It was no matter to Thurak anymore: Wreav would never be accepted as leader after defiling the Hallows. No doubt Wrex had manipulated it that way.

Wrex once again addressed those around him. “I am not afraid of war, but I will not send us into a fool’s battle. An outside influence is trying to pull our strings, and I refuse to allow them to use us to cripple the other races, and to decimate our own numbers in doing so. Urdnot will not fight.”

There was mixed reaction to that. Krogan nature made that inevitable. No warrior liked to be told to stand down in the face of an enemy. Thurak could use that, and he stepped forward.

“Brothers. Urdnot Wrex has spoken, but I question the wisdom in his words. Above us is the proof of what I foretold. The races seek to turn us to dust, and he would sit on his throne and let them come. I ask you to stand tall and strong with Jorgal.”

“Clan Jurgon stand with Jorgal,” announced its chief, Parn. No surprise there; they would do the opposite from Urdnot out of principle.

“Quash stand with Jorgal.”

Thurak gave its chief a small nod. Clan Quash provided many willing bodies for the Blood Pack, and their support was expected. Quash Gult considered himself a partner of sorts with the Blood Pack, and while Thurak sent some credits his way to maintain the illusion, there was no-one running the Blood Pack but Jorgal Thurak.

No-one else stepped forward. Most would take time to consider their actions. Accepting a fight was an instant decision. Choosing _not_ to, required a lot more thought and appeasement with those in your clan.

“For those of you who have leaders afraid to make the bolder choices,” Thurak said, purposely looking at Wrex, “I offer a solution. The Blood Pack. They are uniting with us for the fight on Tuchanka.”

“The Pack _you_ lead, Thurak?” declared Wrex.

Thurak almost denied it, but what would he lose that was of consequence now? “It extends our reach beyond Tuchanka. It offers a place to those amongst the other clans who are disillusioned with their leaders.”

“It starts wars like this,” growled Wrex.

“Quite the accusation. You can’t have proof, because it is a lie.”

Thurak had taken a gamble, but Wrex’s growl confirmed it had paid off. Somehow Wrex had linked it all together, but Thurak had been certain it was guesswork at best.

Ganar’s chief pushed his way forward. “You claim the Blood Pack, Jorgal Thurak? It was one of our disgraced own that founded that band. We will not unite with another who takes its lead. Clan Ganar will stand with Urdnot.”

The first to voice support for Urdnot, but not a major clan.

When Urdnot Grunt passed by Wrex, his gaze was firmly on Thurak, who tensed. Was the tube-born going to try something?

“I want to fight. I join Blood Pack.”

It was met with surprised murmurs. Grunt was Wrex’s second, and this move was a damaging blow to Urdnot’s leader.

“You’re making a mistake,” stated Wrex, glaring hard at the young krogan.

“We’ll see.” Grunt faced Thurak again. “I want to fight.”

Thurak grinned. Undermining Urdnot would be easier than he thought. “Then welcome.”

-o-O-o-

The heat was close to unbearable, and the humidity level was so high the air was thick with visible floating particles. There was an over-abundance of moulds, fungi, lichens, and moss covering the ground and trees. Every step Shepard took was soft with it, and kicked up spores to clog the air further, making the basic act of breathing unpleasant and laboured.

None of it boded well for Shepard. This was a bacterial breeding ground, and she had open wounds. The injury to her abdomen was deep, and she’d needed to use all of the medigel she’d grabbed to seal what she could of the internal damage before she bled out. But all she’d done was buy herself a little time. In this environment, the gashes in her back, as well as the puncture wounds in her arm from the varren, and the broken skin at her wrists, would prove to be a death sentence if she didn’t get away from here fast.

It was why she couldn’t rest, despite the fatigue and the pain, and the awful heat. Sitting still wouldn’t help them.

A mixture of her sweat and water from the air covered her skin, stinging the raw flesh, like it felt the need to give her an added reminder of what was exposed, and she could feel her lungs longing to expel the foul air. Every so often, a Shanti would cough. It was going to get worse.

Finally, Shepard got to where she wanted to be. It was a plateau she’d spotted when she’d stepped out of her prison. Not too far away, it would give her a better view of not only the surrounding area, but also the structure she’d escaped from.

A studious look around her confirmed that there was nothing but dense vegetation all around for as far as the eye could see, except for one direction where it appeared to be a hazy blue. A water mass. Nothing indicated where the ships might be. She figured that might be the case, which was why she’d wanted to remain reasonably close to the facility.

It had been a while since she’d jammed the door, trapping them inside, but they’d have gotten it open by now. However, they would know there would be no relief from the heat outside, and Shepard had deduced that sense would dictate that they’d spend the time repairing the air filtration and cooling system first.

Then their communications would be repaired. Would they request an extraction, or back-up? She was betting on back-up; their pride would demand her head. Either way, a shuttle would come.

Until then, she had to wait, and Shepard was dreading the inactivity. Adrenaline was about all she was running on right now, and once that had petered out she’d be weak.

A hand on her arm drew her attention to Zaliesh. Behind her, Varush and the other Shanti were doing their best to remain under shade, having followed Shepard up here. They looked on edge and exhausted, but not a single one had complained, not even Zaliesh’s young daughter, who was the only child amongst them. In fact, they’d been so quiet, Shepard had forgotten they were there in her haste to get in a more favourable position. It was sobering to see them all staring back at her, dependant.

 _What now?_ Zaliesh’s whispery voice was in her head.

Shepard moved away from the contact which, even though brief, made her feel irritable; her skin sensitive. “You have to take them away from here. There’s water in that direction.” She pointed toward the blue that even from here looked enticingly cool. There was no way of knowing whether it was drinkable, but they had to assume so, because what other choice did they have? Withdrawing the few rehydration packets she’d nabbed from the batarians emergency rations, Shepard held them out to Zaliesh with a nod towards the others. There weren’t nearly enough for everyone, but it would get the most vulnerable through the next half hour or so. After that…?

Zaliesh refused to take them. “We do not belong here in this place. We are not…natural.” Zaliesh touched her fingers gently to one of the lichens growing on the bark of a tree. “It is why it will refuse to sustain us. Yet there _is_ water here. It is all around us, giving life.” She looked up at the tree itself, whose branches hung lazily, like the heat had made the boughs too lethargic to hold themselves proudly. The leaves were a dark green that bordered on black, and for a bizarre moment Shepard was reminded of Thane’s eyes.

This planet would be as lethal to him as Kahje had been, though she suspected that even the healthy Shanti would fall victim to its spore-riddled atmosphere, too. As Zaliesh had said: they didn’t belong here.

Extracting her last blade from her boot with a wince, Shepard raised it towards a tree limb, only to falter as the Shanti gasped as one. These people had a great respect for the natural environment – even one that wasn’t their own, it seemed – and withholding her sigh, Shepard sheathed the blade, then watched as several Shanti began to reach for the large leaves, choosing only the ones that weren’t fully unfurled, before tipping them with painstaking care so that the moisture from the air that had collected within them was poured out into the cupped waiting hands without detaching the leaves from the tree.

While they quenched their thirst, Shepard turned away to resume her watch over the entrance, flinching as her injuries flared in response to the movement. But she stopped at Varush. He was standing where she had been, looking down, and Shepard didn’t need to touch him to read his pain.

“I’m so sorry.” Shepard placed her hand on his shoulder so he would feel her sincerity.

Varush shook his head. “She was no longer Vasha.” Despite his immense sadness, Shepard sensed no resentment towards her for what she’d done.

“Nevertheless, I wish you hadn’t seen that.”

“Seeing them destroy her soul was worse.” Shepard hadn’t believed it possible, but his whispery voice had gone even softer. “Without it, she cannot go to the earth, even here.”

Shepard understood as Varush gave her a deeper insight into the Shanti. They believed that their souls joined the spirit that was their world. It was why they treasured their environment beyond the fact that it gave them life: it embodied their dead loved ones, allowing them to live on in another way.

Her throbbing body was tiring quickly now, and Shepard closed her eyes, trying to hold on to that feeling during their escape. Fury had powered her through it all. Fury and serving justice. Or was it vengeance? It was all blurred together. Yet even in this ensuing calm, Shepard couldn’t find anything inside her to care about that difference.

A noise. Familiar. Shepard immediately looked up, searching for the shuttles. There, three of them, from the direction of the blue haze. Below, the entrance opened and the batarians exited, led by the three-eyed doctor. _Doctor_. He made a mockery of the word. She still remembered waiting for his nod – the signal she was about to be drowned again - and that memory of the panic she’d felt then, sent her heart thumping now. But she needed the energy and cold focus it brought.

They had their weapons armed, checking the area around them like they expected her to appear again. It had been tempting, but sense had won out.

The shuttles were closing in, but Shepard didn’t move. The foliage provided her plenty of cover, and a quick glance confirmed that the Shanti had reacted by blending into the environment.

Two of the shuttles hovered while the other landed. A handful of batarians leapt out with a leashed varren. For the hunt. The dark inside her had been hoping for a chance to finish what they’d started, but the quiet voice of common sense said she was ailing and it would quickly get worse.

The other two shuttles expelled the same as the first, before heading back the way they had come. But the three varren were handed over to those from the base, and the new arrivals took guard over the entrance. She wouldn’t be getting back inside to get a message out without a fight. Not ideal, but so be it.

Shepard rolled her shoulders and inhaled sharply as the nerves at her back screamed out in agony.

_You cannot._

Jerking away from the hand at her wrist she hadn’t even realised was there, Shepard met Varush’s worried gaze.

“I have to.”

A bellow rose up from the batarians below. The hunt was on.

**-o-O-o-**


	19. Chapter 19

“…18, 19, 20.”

The hunt had begun.

Not that Kaidan didn’t already know precisely where to look as he uncovered his eyes. He’d heard Rorie running across the deck towards the medbay just before its doors swished open and shut. Garrus, who Rorie had expertly manipulated into playing too, gave him a ‘really? I’m supposed to pretend I don’t know where she is?’ look.

“Just go with it.”

“Fine,” Garrus sighed. “Oh, where can that little human be?” There was an almost pantomime-like quality to Garrus’ raised voice that almost made Kaidan laugh, while he followed suit.

They gave it another minute before heading into the medbay, ignoring Chakwas’ bemused look as they searched under beds and inside her cupboards. When it became clear that Rorie wasn’t there, they reconvened.

Garrus’ hands were on his hips. “Okay. She’s small, but not that small.”

“I’m thinking AI Core,” agreed Kaidan. They walked in stride to the Core, only to find it as equally empty of five-year-olds as the medbay. Surprise turned to admiration as Kaidan realised something. “She out-smarted us.”

“Hm…Huh! I think you’re right. Impressive.”

They moved back through the medbay.

“You couldn’t tell us she wasn’t here, Doc?” challenged Garrus.

“I didn’t realise you required assistance with a child’s game, Garrus,” Chakwas retorted, dryly.

Kaidan snorted at that, and Garrus cleared his throat to cover his dented pride while sending the Doc a light-hearted scowl.

Outside the medbay, Kaidan considered their surroundings. “We didn’t hear any other doors open, so that means she’s in this area somewhere.”

“Unless she went through the doors when we were in the medbay,” countered Garrus.

“We have a rule: you can’t move after the countdown’s finished.”

“Oh…” This time Garrus’ face said ‘it’s official: all humans are crazy’.

After that, finding Rorie took seconds, and they both laughed at her hiding place. She was tucked under the Mess table, her hands covering her face like that was enough to ensure she wasn’t seen, and right next to where they had stood during their countdown. Neither one of them had heard her slip right beneath them.

“Found you,” grinned Kaidan, crouching down.

Her giggle surfaced before her beaming face did.

“That was very smart,” praised Garrus while she crawled out.

“Uh huh! I fooled you!”

Laughing at the delight she took in that, Kaidan picked her up, tossed her into the air and caught her, dangling her over his head, and enjoying her sweet chuckle.

“ _Kaidan. We’re approaching Ramlat._ ”

His smile died on his face with Joker’s announcement, and he lowered Rorie, hugging her to him.

“Have you got to go again, daddy?” Rorie asked, solemnly.

Kaidan squeezed her in reassurance. “No, honey. Let’s go up and check on your brother.”

Her eyes went a little distant, and he knew that she was connecting to Nate. “He’s happy. He’s playing with Auntie Sam.”

“Let’s go up anyway.” Exchanging an uncomfortable glance with Garrus, Kaidan led them to the elevator. He was anxious over what Rorie and Nate could potentially pick up should Terra be down there, and as the cab rose, Kaidan’s stomach roiled as he was assaulted by those horrible images of Terra’s torture. By the time the doors opened on the CIC, he’d made a decision. “Joker. Keep us in orbit only.”

“ _But_ -“

“That’s an order. We have probes. Confer with Edi to ascertain the likeliest locations for a base and use as many as you need.” His children were not tools to be used, and Kaidan wouldn’t risk them being psychologically harmed by the condition of their mother.

The pause from the bridge was significant, and when it came, Joker’s “ _Aye, aye_ ” was uncharacteristically quiet.

Garrus clapped Kaidan’s shoulder in support. “I’ll go have a word with him.”

Kissing Rorie’s forehead, Kaidan placed her on her feet, and she immediately chased after Garrus. As he watched her leap up and attach herself to Garrus’ arm with a hearty laugh when she nearly unbalanced him, Kaidan knew he’d made the right choice. Probes would take longer, but Terra would approve. Certain Joker would forgive him, Kaidan turned to where Traynor was crouched in front of a smiling Nate, and froze.

Traynor was steadying Nate on his feet, then backing away and letting his hands go, encouraging him to take a step.

“Don’t do that!”

Traynor flinched at his hard tone, and Nate teetered, but Kaidan caught him before he fell.

“I… Did I do something wrong?” started Traynor, clearly confused.

“Just…please don’t. I didn’t meant to snap, it’s just…” Kaidan sighed; Traynor deserved an explanation for his over-reaction and he lowered his voice. “Shepard wanted to be there for his first steps.”

Understanding flashed across the Specialist’s face, mixed with a little horror. “Of course. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologise.” Kaidan realised how irrational it really was. Did he really expect that he could prevent Nate’s development? Yet, it hurt to think Terra might miss it.

There was an awkward silence between him and Traynor, but they were both saved by incoming messages. As Traynor checked her terminal, Kaidan opened his omnitool. It was from Liara, and he smiled at the content; she and Kasumi had come through on his request.

“Sir, it’s a message from the Council,” informed Traynor, and Kaidan made a mental note to get back to Liara. “They’re requesting a conference with you. At your convenience.” Traynor delivered that last part with a raised brow and a small smile at the appeasing gesture from the Council.

Curiosity alone meant Kaidan wouldn’t give in to the temptation to keep them waiting. “Set up a link. Hackett?”

“Already in the war-room,” said Traynor.

Kaidan headed in, Nate firmly tucked against his chest. Professionalism be damned. He was out here because he was fighting for his family, so let them see him as the father and not the soldier. And it had better be good news, or he wouldn’t be holding back.

-o-O-o-

It may be a shit-hole, but Zaeed quite liked Omega. It didn’t pretend to be anything than what it was: the back-end of civilization, and it made no apologies. Like him, he supposed. Yeah, uncivilised and unapologetic. That’s why you keep one hand close to your weapons, and your eyes on your surroundings.

He turned down a particularly dark alley and almost tripped over a half-dead vorcha. So much for vigilance. Cursing, Zaeed ignored the vorcha’s snarl and carried on. This had better not be a waste of his time, or he was going to be really pissed.

There was a figure just visible at the far end of the alley, and Zaeed let the tension creep into his muscles, ready to react with a second’s warning. He sure as hell wasn’t going down in a goddamn alley like that vorcha.

There was a small light over a side-door on the left that looked like it hadn’t been opened in decades, and the figure’s eyes reflected some of it – all four of them. Batarian. They could be ruthless bastards, but Zaeed couldn’t be any more alert than he already was, so he didn’t let it concern him.

“That’s far enough, human.”

Zaeed took a few more strides before stopping; a not-so-subtle statement that he wasn’t following anyone’s bloody orders. “I’ve been led to believe Omega has a pest problem. If you want it dealt with we need to quit this bullshit and get down to business.”

“It’s fine, Bray.”

Swinging to the voice that came from somewhere behind him and to his right, Zaeed saw Aria T’Loak herself emerging from another entrance he hadn’t even spotted. Fucking great. Rolling his shoulders in agitation at being snuck up on, Zaeed unclenched his jaw as the asari ‘queen’ closed the distance, undeniably self-assured.

Bray had moved closer, but was just far enough out of reach, like any well-trained merc worth their weight would in the presence of someone they didn’t trust not to pull a gun or blade.

Aria circled him, though she kept her expression neutral. “Surprising. I expected ex-Alliance, not a Blue Sun.”

She’d clocked his tattoo. Hard to miss, he supposed, even in this shitty light. “ _Was_ both, actually.”

“Hm. Hackett’s something of an enigma.”

“Aren’t we all?”

“You, not so much,” she concluded, disinterestedly.

Zaeed shrugged. Let her think what she liked, it didn’t bother him none. “I need a location. Figured it would be a lot quicker to just ask _you_ , and that way I can guarantee my target doesn’t get wind I’m looking for him.”

Aria scrutinised him a little longer before jerking her chin up.

At the prompt, Bray sent the details to Zaeed’s omnitool. He took the time to study it. The Blue Suns’ headquarters was one huge apartment block they’d probably ousted the original residents from.

“You came to Omega alone. You intending to simply walk right in?” asked Bray. There was a trace of mockery.

“Something like that.” Zaeed turned his back on Bray to face Aria. “But I do want a little help.”

“Not happening.” She crossed her arms and cocked her hip. “Why do you think I’m standing in this festering alley? I can’t be connected to whatever you do to Vosque.”

“Yeah, I get it. But I don’t need men or firepower. I want a distraction.”

Aria gave him a curious look. “I’m listening.”

-o-O-o-

James was sat at the lounge’s bar with Cortez, both of them watching the latest news from the Citadel on his omnitool.

“ _In a surprising announcement from the Council, it has been revealed that the human, Dominic Osoba, has returned to his position as councillor. It was previously said in an official statement from the original Council members that the human councillor had resigned over personal matters, despite rumours that his departure was forced by the other councillors after a difference of opinion over the revoked Spectre-statuses of Admiral Shepard and General Alenko._

_In an additional, and intriguing turn, it was also announced that Shepard and Alenko have been formally reinstated as Council Spectres, quoting ‘a misunderstanding of recent events’. When pressed on just what that meant, the Council refused to comment further._

_Earlier reports suggested that Shepard had suffered a mental decline, which it’s believed has since been resolved by the galaxy-leading asari brain doctor, Dr T’Esana, and many theorists believe that the two human Spectres are now embroiled in a matter of galaxy-wide importance.”_

“No shit.” James switched off his tool and took a swig from his glass. The alcohol gave him a good kind of burn that dulled the anger that had formed at the crap he’d just listened to. Politicians and their face-saving lies.

“Command have made contact. They’re officially withdrawing all charges connected to us all going AWOL,” said Cortez from the stool beside him. “‘In light of exceptional circumstances’ they said.” Cortez grimaced, unimpressed.

“This is good news, though, right? At least the Alliance are on-side now.”

“For what it’s worth,” Cortez said with surprising bitterness, cradling his own drink. As XO he was the first to be updated. “They’re ‘assessing their available forces’. With the krogan arming up against the salarians, they say it’s a threat they can’t ignore, and for that they need a strong presence over Tuchanka. Kaidan and Hackett have insisted any action will be playing into Wraith’s hands, but the official response is that as long as the krogan remain hostile, they’ll have no choice. We don’t have a lot in the way of proof that Wraith is actually a serious adversary. While we’ve connected him to the mess on the Citadel and Shepard, there’s nothing to link Wraith to the Blue Suns involvement in the deaths of Kaidan’s people and the asari bombings, nor to the attacks on the salarians. So they have to treat this as though they’re separate things.”

“I guess I see their viewpoint,” reasoned James. “But wouldn’t it be wiser to _search_ for that link?”

“Apparently, they’re happy with _us_ looking into it. It’s the Alliance and Council’s way of putting it all on Kaidan’s shoulders.”

“Like he needs that right now,” frowned James.

“He’s being pulled in two directions. They’re basically saying ‘if you think this threat’s real, go deal with it, but if not, carry on looking for Shepard’.”

“Pendejos. I got to say, Esteban, I’m rapidly losing respect for our superiors. The top brass, I mean. They’re so far up the other races asses they forget that they wouldn’t have their damn titles and polished desks without Shepard. Yet she’s at the bottom of their list of priorities.”

“Well, not for us. We’ll find her.”

James exhaled heavily, his thoughts dragging his mood lower. He knew that they’d find Shepard, for sure, but in time…? That, he had deep concerns about.

“It was bad, wasn’t it?” Cortez asked, grimly, seeming to read his mind.

James chucked back the rest of the alcohol, needing to feel the burn in his throat; a welcome distraction however momentary from those scenes branded into his brain of a friend in Hell. Esteban had made the right decision not to take a look, that was for sure. “Yeah.”

Cortez’s lips pressed together as his eyes dropped to the liquid in his glass. “How’s Jack taking it? I haven’t seen her since we got back from Camala.”

“She’s completely withdrawn. From me, from everyone. Even the kids. I wasn’t expecting that. Rage, yes - Jack does anger better than anyone. But this? She’s seen the worst people can do to each other – hell, has been subjected to it herself – and I think she’s hardening herself again; preparing herself for the loss.”

“Don’t lose heart, my friend. She’s feeling vulnerable right now. All you can do is be there for her. Finding Shepard will solve all of this.” With that, Cortez finished his drink, clapped James on the back, and left.

Collecting the empty glasses, James slid off his stool and took them to the dispenser on the other side of the bar. For all of Cortez’s optimism, James wasn’t fooled. The man was just as scared for Shepard as the rest of them.

They were all dealing with this latest setback in their own ways. James decided to go deal with it his, and he headed down to the shuttle bay for a punishing workout before braving Normandy’s belly to rout out his Bella.

-o-O-o-

Shepard swiped away the sweat that sat on her skin unable to help reduce her body heat because there was no way it could dissipate in this humid atmosphere.

Bracing an arm against the nearest tree, she tried to steady her breathing through a throat that was now feeling raw, only to end up coughing into her other arm in a bid to muffle the sound. Her open wounds felt like they were crawling, and she could feel the fever of infection starting inside her. But she couldn’t stop.

Even though there were only three, the varren were a huge problem. Already they were leading their masters as they tracked the scent of her blood. She estimated she had a twenty minute head-start, at best. Not that she was staying still.

Shepard had spotted reflected light gleaming through the foliage in various places in a path that disappeared behind the batarians base. It was likely water, and it was what she was aiming for now. It was narrow, because the trees still looked close together, so she was guessing it was a stream. From what she knew of varren, their sense of smell wasn’t as accomplished as Earth’s canines, so maybe she could use it to lose the scent trail and then skirt around to put enough distance between them that she could attack the facility.

But it was proving to be a huge undertaking in this environment, not to mention the condition she was in. Fatigue was making every step feel heavy. Nevertheless, she pushed on, the Shanti behind her silent except for their own occasional muted coughing. None of them were faring well here.

She had told them to stay in place and blend in; to rest until she was able to find a way to deal with the batarians. Yet they had followed her anyway, and Shepard was spilt between worried frustration, and appreciation that she wasn’t alone.

There was a horrible non-humanoid hacking sound that echoed through the air from some distance behind them. While the batarians had helmets, their varren didn’t, and they weren’t liking the thick air. This environment was giving her that small favour, at least.

But a gentler sound ahead fuelled Shepard on through the undergrowth until she emerged onto what she could only call a small oasis. The casually-flowing stream’s banks were dotted with huge white flowers that resembled Earth’s daffodils, and exuded an extremely strong but beautiful perfume.

Unable to resist, Shepard got closer to one, only to jump back as she disturbed a small mammal which had been lapping at the water collected in the plant’s tubular middle. It looked a lot like a rabbit that had lost all its fur, asides from its nose, which had a mesh-like membrane where its nostrils would be. A naturally-evolved filter perhaps.

As it ran off, with the plant’s pollen dusted over its sides, Shepard realised it was the first creature they’d seen in the jungle. And it was skittish. That suggested it was prey for others. She just had to hope they weren’t anything she couldn’t handle.

There was more hacking reverberating through the trees. They had to keep moving. She hurried towards the water, but on the edge of the stream Shepard froze, an irrational panic filling her at the sight of the water. She was shaking now, her breathing even more laboured than before.

 _It’s a stupid fear. Face it._ Shepard echoed the words in her head, over and over. The water was an icy blue that reflected her image back, taunting her with someone who was pale, weak, and afraid. _It’s a stupid fear. Face it!_ Reluctantly taking a step into the water, Shepard felt its cool grip at her shin, seeping into her boot, climbing up her leg. It was going to drown her!

Flinging herself back, Shepard landed on her rear, still scrambling away from the threat, hysteria causing her to hyperventilate.

Hands on her arms made her yell out, and she automatically fought against them until she could feel something calming inside her. Zaliesh and Varush were there, soothing her. In response, her breathing slowed, her heartbeat began to return to normal, and she became rational again.

The Shanti were surrounding her, looking concerned, their hands resting on each other as they ‘conversed’, and Shepard felt so embarrassed by her ridiculous display. It was followed by anger. Balak had done this to her. She rose to her feet, almost whimpering as her back throbbed mercilessly after her careless manoeuvre, but even as she stormed back towards the water’s edge, she knew she couldn’t make that step. Unlike that thresher maw, no amount of firepower would put it down. She was petrified, and she had no idea how to defeat it.

The noise of bodies stomping through the brush without a care distracted her. The batarians were closing in fast.

Shepard turned to Zaliesh. “You _have_ to lead your people away from me. My blood will bring them right to us. Hide as best you can, and I’ll find you when I’m done.”

“No.”

Shepard’s mouth just fell open. She was about to protest.

“We mimic - to protect ourselves, to protect our young who have yet to learn.”

Varush stood beside her. “We will protect you too.”

Before Shepard could ask how in the hell they thought they were going to do that, she was assailed with that distinctive metallic smell of blood. _Her_ blood. It was making her feel nauseous it was so intense. But fighting past that, it also amazed her. The Shanti could also imitate scent. They were continually proving that despite their complete lack of technology, they were a highly evolved race. All the Shanti - except for Zaliesh, Varush, and Zaliesh’s daughter, Sharna - then started to spread out in different directions back the way they had come, appearing to fade away as their skin changed to match the background. But there were cracks in their defences – the coughs brought on by the air.

“They’ll become targets.”

“They will confuse,” corrected Varush, leading her nearer to one of the white flowers. “Then they will hide. This is what we do to survive.”

“Trust us.” Zaliesh touched Shepard’s cheek, and Shepard was given memories of their home-world, Shantou.

 _It was a beautiful garden world, rich in forests and swathes of green flats. The flats were where the Shanti dwelled, but they forayed into the forests for what they needed to survive._ It was like Shepard had really been there and lived it.She could ‘remember’ the feel of the grass beneath bare feet, the warm breeze on her cheeks.

_So many Shanti, young and old, together. This was a communal culture. Happy. There were no habitats, just bedding of moss under velvety leaves. They were nomadic, moving on after a few months to give the land time to regrow._

_Two suns, far away. The closest it got to dark here was an orange dusk. The climate: mild. It rained or the sun shone, both in frequent intervals, but nothing in excess._

But that was not what Zaliesh was showing Shepard.

 _There were predators that lived in the forests. This was why they lived quietly, internally: it didn’t draw unwanted attention. When they were stumbled upon, they ‘disappeared’; the very young who were unable to blend were simply surrounded by others and hidden, soothed to sleep so they wouldn’t make a sound. Sometimes the foragers would be taken unawares, and then they mimicked, some Shanti chasing it away with a call from a larger beast than the one in front of them. Sometimes it_ was _the largest beasts. If the Shanti could hide in time and confuse, they would, but it wasn’t always possible. Such sadness would ensue when one of them was returned to the soil, but it was the way of Shantou: it gave them much, but could also take away._

It was all both familiar and foreign to Shepard at the same time, and she had a deeper understanding for what they were doing now. Shepard returned to reality with the residue of the Shanti’s love for Shantou.

Her questions could wait. They were still vulnerable here, and the batarian shouts signalled they were very close now. But that was why Zaliesh and Varush had remained with her. If the varren carried on her scent trail, they would hide her and mimic the scent of these flowers to help mask the blood.

For her part, Shepard checked what weapons she had. Three pistols, a rifle, a handful or so of heat-sinks, and a blade. She was as ready as she could be. She just wished the headache wasn’t starting, and her muscles weren’t aching horribly as her fever caught hold. Crouching down, Shepard stifled the groan of pain, her teeth clenched tight as she strained to listen.

In the quiet, she could hear the rattle in her breath. Varush had been right: she couldn’t do this. The way she was feeling right now, by the time she got back to the facility she’d be too wracked with infection to be able to fight. It was a depressing thought.

Closing her eyes, Shepard thought of her babies. She hoped they were still happy; there were so many people who loved them, they’d see to it that they were distracted from her absence. But God, she missed them, and it hurt beyond measure to think she wouldn’t make it off this planet to see them again. And Kaidan…. He’d blame himself, and she hated the thought of him living with that guilt.

Grimly, Shepard unlatched a pistol, needing to feel the weight of it in her hand. She wasn’t giving up until she was no longer breathing.

o-O-o-

Ending the connection to Wrex, Kaidan chewed on his lower lip. Things weren’t going well on Tuchanka. The krogan leader’s return had assured that Urdnot and its considerable influence hadn’t fallen into Jorgal Thurak’s control, but Wrex had lost an eighth of his clan to Thurak’s Blood Pack, and hence to Wraith. It was spurring the other clans to rush their decision in a bid to keep their own clan numbers strong, and Wrex was feeling the strain as Jorgal pressed in on his borders, apparently happy to start the fight down on the ground first, before looking to the sky.

They just needed to hold out for a little longer.

Garrus strolled in, and Kaidan filled him in, then moved away as the turian contacted Grunt. Garrus was someone the young krogan had worked alongside the longest, and would therefore trust the most, and that was paramount when he was in enemy territory.

Nate was still sat within the circle of his arm, happily studying every stripe, lapel and star on Kaidan’s jacket. But every now and then his son shoved his fingers in his mouth with a little squeal.

“Getting hungry, huh?”

Nate’s face was a big frown as he made frustrated noises, and Kaidan’s own stomach grumbled in agreement.

“Yeah, me too.” He left Garrus to it, and made his way out, pausing outside the conference room where Hackett was standing, arms crossed, facing the screen displaying Admiral Jaynes.

“ _I hope you can understand, Admiral. Power can corrupt the best of men, and I had to be sure. Believe me, I have the utmost respect for you and what you’ve done for the Alliance – more so now. You’ve proven yourself a man who’ll fight for what’s right, no matter the personal cost. As did Alenko. You both have my admiration._ ”

“I’ll be blunt, Jaynes: I don’t want your respect. I want my fleets.”

“ _They’re yours, and they’ll be returned to you as soon as it’s clear where we stand with the krogan. Command are rightly concerned you’ll divert some of the fleets to the Kites Nest Cluster in order to search for your daughter, and they don’t believe that’s advisable at the moment._ ”

“Damn right I’d divert them, but I’d never do so if I thought for a second it would be at the detriment of the galaxy. Command is wrong. The Council are wrong. You all need to pull back and let the krogan simmer down. We’ll get the evidence to show Wraith has instigated all this.”

“ _That’s not my call to make. Command’s orders are clear, and Mikhailovich is following them. On another note, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about a pilot that went missing from our cells would you?_ ”

Hackett gave Kaidan a side-glance, and there was a barely perceptible up-turn in one corner of his mouth, before he looked back at Jaynes. “Can’t say that I do,” he answered, honestly. Kaidan hadn’t mentioned it to anyone but Liara and Kasumi. “But if it’s who I think it is, I’m sure she’ll turn up when the charges are dropped.”

“ _Right…. Then I suppose I’ll need to get on that too then. In the meantime, you should know that I’ve retrieved the bodies of your crews, as well as Alenko’s Biotic Squads. They’ll all be buried with full honours, of course._ ”

Kaidan swallowed, hard. Bodies made it all so very real. He’d personally trained each and every one of those men and women, had got to know them, and losing every single one of them because they were connected to _him_ was crushing. Wraith would pay for their deaths.

Hackett had finished the call while Kaidan had been internalising.

“Anything from the probes on Ramlat?”

Kaidan started out again with Hackett beside him, Nate getting a little more vocal now. “Nothing.”

There was a pull at his mouth, but other than that, Hackett seemed unsurprised.

“We’re heading back to the relay system now. After that…?” Kaidan exhaled, the pressure of not knowing how best to proceed next, weighing him down. Being reinstated as a Spectre had made no difference at all.

“So, I need to make a lot more noise. Get my fleets back under my control. For that, I need to be on Arcturus.” Hackett’s sharp eyes were full of determination, and Kaidan pitied those he’d be directing them at.

“At least we can drop you off at the front door this time.”

They exited onto the CIC, and Traynor turned to face them.

“Um…Could I have a word with you, General?”

“Sure, Traynor. Is it private, or can we discuss it on the way to the Mess?”

“Of course, Sir.”

They entered the cab and it stayed open for Joker who had finally relinquished his seat. The three of them adjusted to accommodate him, and when the pilot joined them he gave Kaidan a nod. They were good.

Kaidan returned his attention to the Specialist, bouncing Nate gently as he began to complain louder. “Go on, Traynor.”

She took a deep breath. “I have a theory…on a way to locate Shepard.”

“How!?” blurted out Joker, before Kaidan could.

“It might not be possible,” she forewarned. “It’s purely a concept at this point.”

“Just say it,” groaned Joker, and Kaidan couldn’t have said it better himself.

“Well… I was thinking about how the thorian spores in Aurora and Nathan might work. A natural communication link like theirs must work along the same lines as the rachni’s.” Traynor looked back at them like the rest was obvious.

“And?” prompted Kaidan, not understanding where she was going.

“And the rachni can communicate over huge distances.”

Joker leaned forward as Traynor paused again, expecting them to get it. “Just so you know, if you don’t make it clear in the next ten seconds, I _will_ jettison you.”

Traynor reared back a little. “Oh…. There are nicer ways you can ask me to clarify, Commander.”

“Traynor, please,” pressed Kaidan.

“Sorry.” The elevator door opened on the Crew Deck but no-one moved. “I was wondering whether they use the same or similar method of communication as the rachni – an organic quantum entanglement-“

“Blah, blah, blah,” Joker interrupted, rudely, giving her a look that said he was on the verge of fulfilling his threat.

“Right. Get to the point,” Traynor told herself. “If they use a similar process, then maybe we can use the rachni’s superior network to enhance Rorie’s.”

Kaidan stared back at her, trying to work that out.

“I mean, we know they can speak _through_ other races, so maybe it’s possible the rachni could interact with her to extend Rorie’s reach.”

“Shit,” said Joker, now fixed on Kaidan, who was still thinking it through. “Nice idea, but you were right: we can’t expose Rorie to that.”

But there was a quicker tempo inside Kaidan. It sounded insane. It sounded…like something that Terra would run with anyway if she were in his place. But there was one part of this he, nor she, would be prepared to risk.

“I’m not experimenting with Rorie like that,” Kaidan concurred. “We don’t know what danger there might be in it. Of all the species in the galaxy, the rachni are the most ‘alien’.” And this was where he could almost see Terra smiling back at him. “But _I_ could.”

Joker gave him a funny look. “Uh…in case you forgot, you don’t have the spores.”

“But he could have,” said Hackett, breaking his silence. “The same way Shepard got them.”

As much as Kaidan told himself not to pin too much on this, hope was just too huge to smother, and his heart was racing. “We need to get to the Citadel. We need Solus.”

“Hell, yes we do! Right now! Get out!” Joker practically shoved them out of the elevator so he could get back up to the cockpit.

“ _I will contact Dr Solus immediately,_ ” informed Edi, that ever-present entity they often forget about until she reminded them at times like this.

Passing Nate to Hackett, Kaidan slipped back into the cab with Joker before the doors could close him out, his head already running through just how he might approach the rachni with this. Terra was the only contact the rachni had with outside races, and he hoped they’d allow him an audience.

If what Traynor had suggested was even feasible, everything hinged on the rachni’s aid.

**-o-O-o-**


	20. Chapter 20

The apartment block was run down, even by Omega’s standards, and that was the first sign of sloppy management. Zaeed eyeballed the entrance to the Blue Suns base. Two boys barely old enough to shave stood guard, but Zaeed admitted that anyone younger than forty looked like kids to him. He studied them closely. They were too at-ease considering they were the first point of contact for anyone attacking, and they held their rifles like they were a status symbol rather than an important piece of equipment that meant life or death. All together it screamed ‘inexperienced and bored’. Vosque was over-confident, relying on the Blue Sun reputation to keep rivals away. Exceptionally goddamn stupid.

He looked around, spotting the ‘distraction’ he’d asked Aria for. They were doing a decent job, so now it was time to alert the no-hopers at the door.

Jogging over, Zaeed made sure to keep his hands away from his weapons and his tattoo clear to see. With the numbers employed, he’d figured there was no way these guys would know every member by sight. The two kids straightened, their hands tightening on their rifles, but he saw the moment they clocked his tattoo and began to relax. Dumb. “You guys must be new.”

“Three months in,” defended one with a nose that had been broken too many times.

“Haven’t seen you before, either,” said the other. This one had bleached-blonde hair sneaking out from under his helmet.

“Been commanding a large team on one of our outer posts,” lied Zaeed. “Maybe you’ll even get to work under _me_ one of these days. Most of my guys come from here. It’s hard, busy work out there, but I guess you’ll find out soon enough. If you prove yourselves competent.”

“Hope so. It’s got to beat standing here,” huffed Flat-nose.

Zaeed lowered his voice. “Listen.” He jerked his head to indicate they needed to get in close. “We’ve got trouble. Don’t make it obvious, but check out the alley at your two o’clock.” He waited while they did so, searching and eventually finding what he wanted them to see.

“Spy?” Blondie tightened his grip on his weapon.

“There are others, too,” said Zaeed. “They’re well-hidden.” The kids’ eyes were flicking all over the place.

“Got one. In a doorway, eleven o’clock.”

“Another on a balcony, three o’clock, two floors up,” added Flat-nose. “Armed.”

“Just a small group; checking for weaknesses, I’d say,” murmured Zaeed. “Vosque inside?”

They both nodded, looking very serious now. “Top floor,” answered Blondie.

Zaeed didn’t need to be told that. Hubris dictated Vosque would place himself above the rest. Vosque was predictable. “You want to impress the boss? Take the initiative. Gather a team of your best, and get them to leave like it’s an ordinary patrol. They can circle round, come up on our targets from behind, and give them a nasty surprise, while you two keep watch here so it looks like everything’s normal.”

“That means we’d need to bring in Lokinus,” frowned Blondie. “Turian asshole will definitely take over. He’s practically Vosque’s second.”

“Tell you what, I’ll head up and notify Vosque about all this while you get moving. I’ll add that the two of you have likely got it under control.”

“You’d do that?” Flat-nose glanced at his colleague. “Give us the credit?”

“Hey, I’ve been where you guys are. You just want to get out there and get in the fight instead of being stuck as glorified sentry guards. So yeah, I’ll put in a good word. Now don’t mess it up.”

Grinning, Blondie used his omnitool to input the code to open the main entrance, and he and Zaeed stepped inside, leaving Flat-nose on duty. While Blondie went left to begin collecting men to inadvertently lead them away from the building, Zaeed headed up the stairs – because no way was he risking that dilapidated elevator. Outside, Aria’s people would already be vanishing.

Five flights up and he ran into a turian whose hand went instantly to his rifle.

“Who are you?”

Zaeed got the impression this just might be Lokinus, and he looked a lot sharper. “I was just looking for you. No time for introductions. We might have a huge problem on our doorstep. Your two men at the door seemed to think there’s Eclipse or Talon mercs checking out the place. They think it’s a pre-cursor to a full-out assault. You ask me, they’re hallucinating. You might want to get down there. Those kids are ordering people about like they’re in fucking charge, and it’s all going to go to shit without someone who knows what they’re doing.”

Cursing, Lokinus shoved past him and down the steps, leaving Zaeed to carry on unhindered to the top floor.

Vosque wouldn’t know what a big mistake he’d made by thinking he could step into Santiago’s boots. If Vosque wanted the Blue Suns, then he’d have to prove he was worthy.

Zaeed smirked. The man was going to piss himself.

-o-O-o-

Normandy was quiet in a way that Joker hated. It was the silence of his ship in dock. Inertia was a bitch.

The sound of boots stomping towards him had Joker spinning his chair. Jack. Great. He began to swing back, but she caught his seat.

“Why are we not moving?” Her tone was angry. There was a part of Joker that felt the same. It was buried deep, with his frustration. Inertia. Shepard needed them to be going back to the Kites Nest Cluster. Like _now_.

“Because we’re docked,” he said patronisingly slowly, gesturing out the window whilst knowing he was asking for Jack’s ire. “At the Citadel. For the last half hour.”

Jack scowled back at him, looking tired from what he’d guess was a lack of decent sleep. “ _Why_ are we back here?” she gritted out.

Now he felt annoyed. “Uh…you know, maybe if you’d come out of your pit for five minutes during the last however many hours – or had at least let Vega _talk_ to you, the many, many, _numerous_ times he’s tried - you’d have got the memo.”

Jack got up in his face, her face hard. “Do you _want_ me to hurt you?”

“Oh please,” snorted Joker. “Go try that on someone else, ‘cos I’m not buying it. Now back up out of my space and go find Vega. He’s about the only one prepared to put up with your crap – who knows why. You’re not the only one hurting over Shepard, you know.”

For a second, Joker really thought she was going to light up and pummel him into his own seat with a biotic fist. But then the hardness fell away and she just looked incredibly broken as she backed away from him.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Damn. Now he felt bad. “Forget about it. Look…we’re here so Kaidan can get the spores from Solus, so that he can then go do something freaky with the rachni and ‘find’ Shepard with his mind. You’re looking at me funny, and I get that. It’s weird, right? You want it clearer, go talk to Traynor. … Second thoughts, don’t, she’ll drive you insane with technical speak and you really _will_ lose it. Uh, try Cortez. Or better yet, just go with it, and go apologise to Vega instead.”

Her eyes dropped to the ground, radiating guilt and shame. Man, he was in awkward territory again. How did he get himself into these sorts of talks?

“Hey, he won’t have taken it personally,” reassured Joker. “He...you know… loves you, despite all that…” he waved his hand at her, realising he was about to insult her, but what the hell, he was going to say it anyway, “…’I’m going to kill you if you look at me’ angry thing you do. That must mean he gets you. So quit shutting him out, and give the big guy a break. He wants to be there for you, and… trust me, he needs you too.”

Jack was staring back at him, her eyes glistening.

“He’s in the Mess,” he added.

With nothing more than a small nod, Jack slunk out, and Joker sank into his seat, feeling drained. He wished he had someone to find comfort in, and immediately Robbie came to mind.

A bleep distracted him from his morose thoughts, and Joker frowned at the request on his screen. He switched on the internal comm. “Hey, Cortez. Know anything about a delivery?”

“ _No. I’ve got nothing my end._ ”

“ _It’s a surprise!_ ” said Rorie, who was obviously ‘helping’ Cortez in the shuttle bay, and Joker heard her clapping her hands in excitement. “ _For you, Uncle Estban._ ”

“ _You think so?_ ” Cortez played along.

 _“Uh huh. Maybe it’s from Santa!_ ”

“ _But it’s not Christmas,_ ” chuckled Cortez.

“ _Perhaps, if you’ve been very good, you get one early._ ” Joker shook his head at the nonsensical direction Rorie had taken the conversation as he checked the system. “ _Maybe it’s lots of noodles!”_

Cortez full-out laughed. “ _Noodles_!?”

“ _Uh huh! Santa makes noodles in the wards when it’s not Christmas. They’re the yummiest! And he likes to be called Tony Fatty Ellie._ ”

This time Joker joined Cortez’s guffawing. That kid was hilariously nuts, and he’d definitely be telling Tony Fraticelli that one. “Well, it looks like Kaidan authorised it, so I guess it’s okay.” He lowered the shuttle bay’s ramp and switched to an external camera view. “Don’t recognise the shipper, though.”

“ _Got eyes on it now,_ ” said Cortez.

Joker watched, intensely curious, as a small haulage vessel pulled in close, its rear hatch opening. “What is it?”

That was met with a sigh. “ _I don’t know yet. I can probably see as much as you right now.”_

“ _Be patience_ ,” admonished Rorie.

“Patient. I’m just surprised Kaidan didn’t warn someone. He’s usually all over stuff like that.”

“ _He’s got bigger worries_ ,” Cortez said, solemnly.

He wasn’t convinced that was it – Kaidan had buried himself in everything he could to distract himself, kids and work included, and he was thorough - but Joker didn’t have a chance to ponder it further.

“ _No way_!”

Squinting at the image on the screen, Joker frowned at the strange vehicle that was currently gliding into his bay, and he changed to an internal camera. “What _is_ that!?”

“ _I have absolutely no idea, but she’s beautiful_.”

“ _It’s a baby ship,_ ” said Rorie, who was standing beside Cortez, her hand held securely in his to ensure she didn’t run into the vehicle’s path.

It looked like a trident but more refined, and Joker estimated it could hold two or three people. He had to agree with Cortez: with those sleek lines and the mirrored canopy, she was a compact, shimmering beauty.

When the canopy opened, its angle hid whomever was inside, but from Cortez’s laugh it was someone he knew.

“ _I think you need to get down here, Joker._ ”

He didn’t need to be told twice, and he launched himself up, keen to check out that…whatever it was. Heading through the CIC, Edi left Traynor to join him. “You must have known about this.”

“It was a surprise.”

Joker hesitated. A vehicle like that was a one-off. Commissioned. “It was from Shepard, wasn’t it?”

Edi blinked at him. “The vessel’s creation was, yes. It was to allow Commander Cortez to be more than a shuttle pilot. A vessel worthy of his skills. Liara had it liberated from storage as Shepard had intended. _Your_ surprise was from Kaidan.”

“ _My_ surprise?”

Edi touched his arm gently. “Do not question it. Trust that Kaidan sees what you need.”

“What-?” The elevator opened onto the bay, leaving his thought unformed on his lips as it revealed a wonderfully familiar smiling face surrounded by curls. “Robbie!”

Before he knew it, she had stepped forward to hug him, and Joker reciprocated, enjoying the scent of jasmine that accompanied her. She was here.

“I’m so relieved Command came to their senses.” Altair’s lips tickled his ear. “You have no idea how worried I was for you. For you all,” she added quickly. She stepped back slightly, but her hands remained on his arms, and he left his at her waist.

“Are you kidding me? They locked you up!”

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” Her sincerity turned to that smile he liked. “You know, I’m a little disappointed. When Kasumi showed up and broke me out, I was totally prepared to go hard-core vigilante with you. Kind of ruins the bad-girl thing I’d imagined now that we’ve been cleared of charges.”

Joker laughed at that image. “The idea of being a rebel appealed to you, huh? Strangely, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. It’s like having your hands tied.” Then he paused. “Wait a minute, you weren’t released by the Alliance?”

She shook her head. “If it weren’t for Kaidan setting it up with Kasumi, I’d probably still be on Earth going through the release process.”

 _Trust that Kaidan knows what you need._ He had to admit, he felt great. More than he thought possible in the middle of this mess. And it was because Robbie was here. He…he really lov- _liked_ her. Damn. Was it that obvious to everyone else? Joker looked at Edi who was now standing with Cortez as he explored the new vehicle, while Rorie sat inside with…was that Knox?

Edi knew. Guilt surfaced. She’d given him her blessing.

“Jeff? Are you okay?”

He looked at Robbie. Would she want him? I mean, he had an idea she liked him too, but…like that? Except now wasn’t the time to be thinking like that. “Yeah. I’m good. … I’m really glad you’re here,” he said sincerely.

Her smile was radiant, and it warmed him to know his words had caused it. “Me too.”

Looking into those light-brown eyes flecked with green, Joker could easily be pulled in – or pull her in. His hands tightened on her waist…. Then he let go, clearing his throat as he did so. Definitely not the time. Or place. “So, what do you know about this thing?” He gestured to the vessel Cortez was still all over.

“Oh, she’s lovely, isn’t she?” Robbie caught his hand and led him over. “One of a kind.”

“Sure is.” Joker was looking at Robbie, and when she glanced back she seemed to notice, her cheeks flushing in a way that made him grip her fingers tighter.

Then Knox was jumping down and saluting him. “Commander. Good to see you again.”

“Yeah. Welcome to the SR-3. How on Earth did _you_ get roped in?”

“Dr T’Soni contacted me. I was on leave, just hanging around the Vancouver base, and she wondered if I wanted to assist in the search for Shepard. Said she would have asked General Coats, but he was on Arcturus, trying to get the Brass to see sense. After what Shepard’s done for me, I was in, one hundred percent. Of course I wasn’t expecting the doctor to ask me to help sneak _this_ out of a warehouse. Just as well Miss Goto was there too though – I’m definitely not cut out for stealth.”

“Oh, is Kasumi here too?” They all began looking around.

Knox scratched his shaven head. “Um…. Actually, I don’t remember seeing her once we got the vehicle and Altair on board the transport ship.”

“Kasumi is not on board Normandy,” confirmed Edi.

Joker shrugged. “She’s probably fleecing some casino somewhere. She’ll either turn up before we leave, or not. Who can tell with Kasumi?”

Cortez re-appeared from another circle around his newest toy. “Look at her, Joker.” He held a datapad in his two hands like it was some irreplaceable treasure, and he passed it to Joker, keeping his voice low so Rorie wouldn’t hear. “I can’t believe Shepard did this.”

**Steve,**

**I decided my favourite and talented XO deserved to fly something better than a ‘brick’, so I had some clever engineers think up this: the Sand-tiger. She can out-manoeuvre a Trident, and she’s stealth-enabled, so next time we’re in a fight, you can _really_ get involved.**

**Full specs attached. Enjoy.**

The datapad felt like a link to Shepard, and Joker reluctantly passed it back to Cortez. “Shepard knows how to look after her people.” He suddenly felt like shit for being happy when his friend was going through hell. Not that she’d be impressed about that if she knew; she always put herself last. But they weren’t letting that happen this time.

“Can I drive it?” called out Rorie, her little head peeking out.

“It’s _fly_!” groaned Joker. “And no, you can’t.”

Rorie flopped over the side with an eye-roll and an ‘ugh!’, her cap falling to the floor.

Cortez ruffled the back of her dangling head. “Sorry, Precious, but maybe I can give you a ride when we have more time.”

“Yay!” She perked up, her face pink, and Edi replaced her cap.

“You should both check in with Traynor,” Cortez said to Knox and Altair, doing his best to re-focus on his job instead of the Sand-tiger. “She’ll get you assigned to bunks. I’ll make sure you’ve got a full kit before we leave, Knox.”

“Thanks, Commander.”

With Robbie’s hand still in his, Joker tugged her with him towards the elevator, Knox falling in behind them. Elation and burrowing sadness. It was a weird combination. “Let’s make sure the ship’s ready to go when Kaidan gets back, too. Every second counts right now.”

And Joker was feeling each one pass them by.

-o-O-o-

Zaeed heard Vosque before he located him by sight. The man who had placed himself at the head of the organisation Zaeed had created, was standing to one side of the window, peeping out like he was expecting a bullet to come whizzing through it.

“What the fuck are you talking about? Why would they be attacking us? Wraith said they’d be joining with us. Damn it, don’t go killing anyone until you’re sure of their intentions. The last thing I need is for some idiot to ruin any chance for alliance.”

As soon as Vosque closed his comm, Zaeed rammed the man’s face into the wall he’d been using as a shield. There was a crunch of bone breaking, and Vosque sank to the floor, dazed and bleeding profusely. Zaeed wasn’t impressed. A decent soldier would’ve been scrambling to get to his feet and weapon out, ready to fight back. But Vosque had one hand to his face and another held out like he was trying to ward Zaeed off.

“Is that all you’ve got, Vosque? One hit and you’re down? You’re disappointing me. I came all this way and went to a lot of trouble. The least you can do is give me a goddamn fight.”

“Who the fuck are you!? What do you want!?”

“Name’s Zaeed Massani.”

“The bounty hunter.” Vosque sagged against the wall.

“You’ve heard of me.”

“Look, I’ll pay double for you to kill the one that hired you. Triple!”

Zaeed gave a harsh laugh at the pathetic plea. “Trouble with that is, I’m doing it pro bono. Surprising, I know. And I’m not about to kill a good friend.”

“Fuck! There has to be something you want!”

“Give me everything you have on Wraith.”

Vosque paled. “You know about-?” Zaeed watched him swallow, then try to pull out what little courage he had for a dismal display of someone who was deluding themselves they held the cards. “I’ll give you what you want in exchange for my life.”

“Deal.”

Hurriedly, Vosque transferred over every message to and from Wraith, and Zaeed took his time perusing it, finishing with a laugh. “Big ambitions, Vosque. King of Omega? Aria tied to your bed? Look at you. You can’t even handle a little knock to the head. A woman like that would eat you alive.”

“I’m telling you, it’s within reach.” Vosque was on his knees, a fervour in his eyes. “Wraith is powerful. Let this go and you could benefit, too.”

Crossing his arms, Zaeed looked at the idiot who would be king. “From all accounts, Wraith is good at telling everyone what they want to hear to get you all doing what he wants. Probably a bloody politician. Or a salarian. They can be sneaky bastards; the krogan are right on that front. Whoever he is, you’ve already done what he wants, so where’s your army to take down Aria?”

“It’s coming.”

“Sure it is,” huffed Zaeed. “You really do have shit for brains.” He withdrew his pistol. “Did you know the Blue Suns were mine until Santiago screwed me over and took it all for himself? I’ve decided it’s time to take it back.”

“Wait! You said-!”

“I lied.” He pulled the trigger, Vosque’s inadequate brain splattering over the wall.

Sending all the data to Hackett, Zaeed then messaged Aria.

**Pest exterminated. Found something interesting, too. Pleasure doing business with you.**

He attached the parts of Vosque’s messages that stated his arrangement with Wraith to take Omega and Aria for himself. Then Zaeed removed Vosque’s omnitool and tapped a message to every merc on it.

**I’m back in charge.**

**If you don’t like it, don’t bother coming back. Anyone thinking of trying anything will be dealt with just like your old boss.**

**For those of you who want to be real mercs, things are going to get a lot better organised, starting with this shit-hole you call a base. I have standards.**

**Word of caution: I’m all that stands between you and Aria’s retribution. She doesn’t like it when mercs ploy to take over her domain.**

**Zaeed Massani, Founder of the Blue Suns.**

That should give them pause before they had an idea to storm the place. Aria might not like it, but now she had something to show Vosque’s plans, her involvement needn’t be a secret, and he could use it to make his transition a little easier. Save him a few dozen heat sinks, too.

He sauntered over to the kitchen area and rummaged until he found a half-decent bottle of whisky and a clean glass. Making himself comfortable, Zaeed waited. The turian would be the first through that door, guaranteed.

The first sip went down nicely. It was turning out to be a good day.

-o-O-o-

The clans had re-gathered at the Hollows. From what Wrex was hearing it wasn’t looking good for Urdnot. The exodus of some of his clan to the Blood Pack had damaged Urdnot, and Jorgal’s position had risen to a truly challenging one. But not for long.

A smug grin on his face, Thurak strode confidently to the centre where Wrex stood with Bakara, and addressed the gathered clan chiefs like the right was his. “It is time to choose the krogan’s fate. Will you allow the aliens to wipe us out, or will you fight? The galaxy is ours for the taking. You just need the quads to strive for it.”

“Be honest about what you’re really asking, Thurak,” growled Wrex. “Today we decide only one thing: do we continue to live in peace and cooperation with the aliens in this galaxy?”

“Continue? It’s a constant battle. Were the yahg not meant to be used against us?”

“That was the notion of a small-minded individual. It didn’t happen because we had Shepard on our side. You choose to destroy what unity we’ve created, and we’re on our own.”

“And where is she now? Why are there ships over Tuchanka at all? From what I hear, Shepard is dead.”

Wrex felt that punch deep into his gut. Did Wraith tell him that? Was it true? “She’s alive,” he insisted, his voice deeper than usual, cutting through the noise of surprise from those around him. He glowered at Thurak, looking for certainty, but his rival turned away, and Wrex breathed. This Jorgal knew nothing about Shepard.

“Then _where_ is she?” Thurak’s question was placed to the krogan around him. “If she’s alive, then she’s chosen her side, and it is not with the krogan. The human will fight with her own kind. And they’re up there, about to strike.”

“You’re wrong,” intervened Eve. “Shepard is watching, waiting to see what the krogan are truly made of; whether we can ever be a part of the galaxy without turning to war. Will we finally have the sense to use our own history as a lesson? War led us to near-extinction. Co-operation brought us back from the brink. You would have us at odds with the galaxy again. It is madness to even consider it.”

“Madness is doing nothing while the aliens’ ships continue to grow in number above us.”

Wrex spied Grunt entering. “It’s the way _you_ wanted it, Thurak.”

“ _Again_ with this. It’s nonsense.”

“No, it’s not.” Grunt moved through the others to the centre and stood beside Wrex.

“What is this?” frowned Thurak. “You deserted Urdnot, _tank-bred_.”

Grunt gave a slow laugh. “I will always fight with the strongest. I’m learning that it’s more than physical strength that makes a clan strong, but the smarts, too. I made you _think_ I had joined Blood Pack.”

“We needed to get access to your base,” added Wrex, revelling in the crevices that formed in Thurak’s face.

“That’s where I got the proof you started this trouble,” said Grunt.

Thurak leaned forward, a finger pointed accusingly at Grunt. “You expect me to believe _you_ – an inferior tank-bred - got through my security?”

Grunt shrugged, unbothered by the attempted insult. “Got a program from a turian friend to help hack into your system. He walked me through it. Said it needed ‘finesse’. Challenged me to find some.” Grunt’s face split into a huge predatory grin. “I did.”

“You might have heard of that turian,” added Wrex, loudly, ensuring all could hear. “Garrus Vakarian.”

“He’s one of Shepard’s krantt,” spoke up Drau’s clan chief, Kret, looking deep in thought.

Wrex grinned, sure his human sister wouldn’t mind him using the power behind her name if it meant getting through their thick skulls. “Looks like she’s giving us a helping hand after all. Can’t blame her for thinking we’re a hopeless cause, with other small-minded individuals like Thurak trying to steer us to disaster.”

Kret pushed forward to the centre. “I want to see this proof.”

Grunt granted his request and Wrex waited. Drau were a notable clan that would carry much weight with the others.

“What is it?” Ganar Tovik asked, impatiently. Wrex guessed he was eager to show his clan that he’d been right to side with Urdnot before.

“Correspondence, between Thurak and someone named Wraith,” responded Kret, as he scrolled through the evidence Grunt had gotten hold of.

Wrex hadn’t seen it himself, but he had faith that Garrus would steer Grunt right.

Kret finally looked up. “It’s clear: they used Blood Pack members to attack the salarians using clan Urdnot’s name. Jorgal Thurak started this.”

To Wrex’s satisfaction there were a lot of angry growls and curses, and they echoed through the Hallows like the ancestors themselves were voicing their disgust.

“Who is this Wraith?” demanded Quash Gult. Wrex chuckled. He was betting the clan chief was wishing he hadn’t been so quick to support Jorgal now.

Thurak glared silently, refusing to speak.

“No-one knows, yet,” filled in Wrex. He looked at the message which had just come in from Liara. “But they will. Powerful people are working on it as we speak.” Though he hadn’t used her name, they’d be thinking Shepard. “Wraith has already been connected to Eclipse, and I’ve just been alerted that they’ve confirmed a link to the Blue Suns.”

“ _What_?” snarled Thurak.

Wrex had never expected to enjoy this quite so much. “You didn’t know you’re just one more tool for Wraith? He’s playing you all, just like he’s trying to play the Council races, _and_ us. _You_ fell for it. Some of us decided to be smarter. This information from your base will also be passed to the Council and Alliance. With Hackett back in charge I can guarantee those Alliance ships will be pulling out soon, and the asari and salarians will be trailing after them.”

“I’ve heard enough,” said Drau Kret, his whole body tense with anger. “What you’ve done, Jorgal Thurak, is as distasteful as the last salarian Dalatrass’ actions. I will trust in Urdnot Wrex.”

That was the start of the krogan’s survival instinct truly kicking in in an intelligent way, as more clan’s followed Drau’s lead. Even Quash and Jurdon had the sense to distance themselves from Jorgal.

It gave Wrex hope for his people once again. This was a land-mark day. They were evolving, and Wrex felt proud to be krogan.

-o-O-o-

_Shepard was running through the jungle towards the blue haze, knowing it would save her. The heat bore down, oppressive in its intensity. The trees branches caught at her skin like they were trying to keep her from leaving. And worst of all was the evil chasing at her heels. But she propelled herself on, knowing each step brought her closer._

_And then she was through, surrounded by the blue light, and it was beautiful, cool, and embracing. It rushed around her to push back everything that would cause her harm, and she was safe. The blue faded away, revealing Kaidan as its source. He was a wonderful sight, and she sank into that smile, those eyes, those arms, without question._

_But it felt wrong. Looking up into that face she loved, she saw the smile was fake, the eyes were dead, and the arms turned to one which held her tighter when she tried to back away. Her eyes flicked down, knowing what would come next. The flash of light on the blade confirmed it, just before Kaidan plunged it deep._

Shepard jerked awake, and dismay instantly gripped her along with the returning pain, nausea, and entrenched fever of infection. It hammered at her head, blurred her vision, clawed at her wounds, and made every muscle in her body feel strained and weak. How long had she been out!?

Her eyes heavy despite the adrenaline coursing through her, she saw Varush nearby, keeping watch. Over at the stream, Zaliesh had taken her daughter to cool down in its lazily-trailing water, but all Shepard could fix on was that it was up to Zaliesh’s shoulders, Sharna needing to be carried to keep her head above it. An involuntary shudder ran through Shepard.

At least the Shanti’s distraction had worked. The varrens noisy route through the jungle had gradually gotten quieter as they’d led their batarian masters away after the decoys the other Shanti had made of themselves. Yet Shepard had remained in place for a while after, needing to be sure that it wasn’t some ruse.

But that inactivity was a mistake. Shepard’s aching body had released its tension as the danger passed, and taken her energy with it. She hadn’t meant to close her eyes!

The pistol still clutched in her hand seemed too heavy now, and even the act of holstering it took effort. She was hunkered down, leaning against a tree trunk, her shoulder the only contact point. At first it had been a barrier should she have needed to open fire, but now it was supporting her.

Bringing up her arm quickly, she muffled the erupting cough. It hurt her chest all the way down to her damaged abdomen, and this time she tasted blood. Lowering her arm, Shepard saw the flecks of blood staining the fabric there. Shit. She’d wasted precious time dozing.

Shepard sucked in a deep breath, ignoring the crackling sound it made, as she prepared to push herself up from her crouch, but as though he read her intention, Varush was in front of her, shaking his head.

“You must rest. Please.”

It irritated her more than it should have. “Why did you let me sleep? We don’t have the time. Every breath we take is probably killing us.” Her spent leg muscles quivered alarmingly as she impelled them to work and take her weight, and Varush hovered around her, wanting to assist but waiting to be asked.

She wouldn’t ask. If she couldn’t even _stand_ by herself, there was no hope.

It wasn’t quick, and Shepard needed that damn tree. Her shoulder slid its way higher as her legs trembled, and her anger rose with it, but she made it. Her crackling breath was now faster from that one small act, and it was _pathetic_. She’d defeated that bastard Balak, and he was still going to win. There was a clock ticking down inside of her, and it was close to shutting her down.

Varush touched Zaliesh’s elbow when she joined them with Sharna tucked closely at her side, and that anger flared within Shepard.

“Hey! Don’t do that. You have something to say, say it.” They both reached out to her, but Shepard knocked their hands aside. “Don’t touch me.”

They didn’t deserve to be treated like that – she was acting like a wounded animal, lashing out at someone trying to help – but the burning heat inside her seemed to sear away every rational part of her, leaving only a short fuse to spark her temper.

Forcing herself away from the tree and the Shanti, before she said more she’d regret, she practically staggered over to the stream, her head spinning. It was like it was mocking her, and tears of frustration filled her eyes as she turned away from it. Traversing the stream was the only way to skirt the natural formation that homed the facility and guarantee not running into those hunting them. Its sides here were too sheer to climb. She would have to head back the way they’d come, as risky as that was, not knowing where the batarians were. But it was her only option.

Sheer determination dictated she push on till the end, but as she pushed her way back through the foliage, Shepard realised that the sun was finally beginning to set on this world, and somehow it felt like a prophecy on her own light.

All she could think about was the heart-breaking thought that Nate would grow up without any memories of her. Would Rorie forget her, too? Would she be nothing but an image on a screen to them? What she wouldn’t give to hold them one last time; to be in Kaidan’s arms….

She quelled it. Hardening herself. It may be too late for her, but just maybe she could last long enough to get that message out, and the Shanti could be saved.

-o-O-o-

It felt strange being back on the Citadel after the way they’d left. Docking here had felt just as tense as it had at Arcturus when they’d stopped briefly to let Hackett off – a part of Kaidan half-expecting to be set upon by the very fleets Hackett was currently reclaiming. But they’d come in unhindered, asides from a request by the Council to speak with them. So far, he’d let it go unanswered. He didn’t have the time, nor the inclination.

Kaidan hustled through the corridors of Huerta with Chakwas beside him, and as they turned the last corner towards Narin Solus’ office, she rested her hand on his back.

“Are you sure about this, Kaidan? You never seemed to want the spores before.”

“Shepard and I have spoken about me having them. I’ll admit I’ve always been curious – even Shepard said her descriptions of being in our children’s minds couldn’t do it justice – but I’ve always been worried they might resent me for it later on. You know, as teenagers and beyond. They’ll be aware of us always at the edge of their minds.” They slowed to a stop outside Solus’ room. “Shepard had the spores before we realised the connection it would create. Having the spores out of curiosity didn’t seem a good enough reason. Now Shepard’s life might well depend on me having them, and I know Rorie and Nate will understand that when they’re old enough. So, yes I’m sure, and it can’t happen fast enough.”

“Good.” Satisfied, Chakwas went to press the door release, only for it to open before she made contact.

Narin Solus was right there. “Ah, excellent. Ready to proceed.” He was already passing them, heading to another room a couple of doors down, leaving them to catch up.

“Narin, thank you so much for doing this on such short notice,” said Kaidan.

“Honoured to be asked. Will happily do whatever’s necessary to assist Shepard.”

The room was set up ready for him, and Kaidan sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the serum containing Rorie’s spores, which had been brought out of secure storage. Wasting no time, Narin inserted it into the delivery device that looked like a syringe crossed with a gun. Behind him, Chakwas had her omnitool scanning over his nape to ensure the needle was inserted without damage to either himself or his biotic implant.

Neither Chakwas nor Solus spoke. They didn’t need to. Kaidan had been there when Terra had been sat where he was, and he knew precisely what they were doing.

“Ready?” checked Narin.

“Do it.” Kaidan heard the hiss of the device, then felt the cool liquid rush in, creating a tingling sensation.

“All done,” announced Solus.

Kaidan forced himself to keep still as Chakwas did her checks, a restless energy and anticipation now coursing through him.

“Everything seems to be reacting as expected,” she confirmed. “Now, from what we know from Shepard, it takes a little time for the spores to create a connection, so we won’t be able to test that just yet.”

“Regardless, we need to get back to Normandy.”

“Then will leave you in Dr Chakwas’ hands for further observation.” Solus then addressed Chakwas. “But will be here should you have any concerns.”

“Thank you, Narin.”

“Pleasure.” Narin shook the hand Kaidan offered. “Good luck.” Then he left, ever efficient.

Rubbing his hand over his nape, Kaidan slid off the bed and started out, answering his omnitool as he received a call from Traynor.

“ _Sir, your parents have arrived.”_

“Thanks, Traynor. We’re on our way back now.”

“ _I’ll let Garrus know. He thought he’d better check in with his officers; smooth over any egos damaged during our last departure_.”

Kaidan huffed. “I don’t envy him that job.”

“ _Vega suggested an open tab at the local bar would do the trick_.”

“Hh! He could be right. Maybe I should take note. I’m thinking we could all do with a pint after things have calmed down.”

“ _I’ll be there. Traynor out._ ”

Thoughts of what might come later suddenly made Kaidan lose his enthusiasm. Because for all his hope over finding Terra with the spores, he truly feared he’d be met with nothing but emptiness, and he’d have to walk into that bar without her.

“Your parents must be very worried after all that nonsense the media’s been spouting on the extranet.”

Kaidan was pulled back by Chakwas, and he needed to clear his throat before answering. “They are, and I haven’t exactly been forthcoming about everything that’s been going on. I thought it best to downplay it, and they still don’t know about Terra. But they’re here because I called them. I can’t take the kids where we’re going. We already know Terra’s going to be badly hurt, and that’s the best case scenario.”

“Kaidan-“

“Doc. Please. I have to be realistic. If she’s still alive, she’ll be suffering psychologically as well as physically. I can’t risk the kids being subjected to that.”

Chakwas nodded grimly. She knew better than anyone what to expect, he was sure.

The rest of the ride back in the sky-car was in silence. Chitchat was out of place when Terra’s absence sent them all out of alignment. But as he drove, Kaidan felt odd. The tingling at his nape intensified, and it was like his awareness widened.

By the time he’d arrived at the docking bay, he felt an incredible warmth within him, and the depression that had set in since his up-front talk with Chakwas, was chased away without him even understanding why.

 _Daddy! I can talk to you in my head, just like mommy! How did_ that _happen!?_

Rorie’s excited voice was clear in his mind and it stopped Kaidan in his tracks. And it was more than her tone; he was _feeling_ it, and it sped up his heartbeat. “Doc, I can hear Rorie!”

“Already?” Unsurprisingly, she began scanning him. “The spores have established themselves well. Maybe your biotics are accelerating the process.”

Then Rorie was racing through the airlock and across the bay towards him, and Kaidan crouched to catch her, laughing as her excitement was like her doing a crazy dance in his head.

His parents were following her rushed trail, his mother carrying Nate, and Kaidan tried to sort through the brightness of Rorie to find his son. And he found him - soft and unassuming, happy waiting for his moment to shine through. Nate bounced in his grandmother’s arms as he responded, his arms reaching out, and Kaidan picked up Rorie in one arm and took Nate in the other, hugging them tight.

Terra had been right. There was no way to describe this adequately. Being right amongst that innocence was nothing short of stunning, and it brought tears to his eyes that he was able to experience it.

“Son?” Kaidan looked at his father and read the concern that mirrored his mother’s. “What’s going on?”

“I’ll explain, I promise, but I _have_ to get Normandy in the air first.” Normandy’s engines were already re-starting. Joker didn’t need the order. And Chakwas was boarding, along with Garrus. They had to go. “Rorie, honey, I can’t take you with me this time.” Her face instantly fell, and Kaidan felt awful as he felt every bit of her disappointment and sadness. What made it worse was that Nate was picking up on it and he started to cry.

“But daddy, I wanted to talk to you in here.” She stroked his hair and then hugged him, like clamping her arms around his neck would mean he’d have to take her too. More than that, he felt her willing him not to leave her. Terra had never mentioned the downside to the spores. How much harder these goodbyes would have been for her.

“I know, but there’ll be lots of time when I get back. And I promise I’ll be as quick as I can be.” He hoped with Terra.

Rorie’s eyes widened, a smile returning. “You’re going to bring mommy home!”

Appalled that he’d let that slip, Kaidan fought to smile back. “I need you to be big and brave for your brother, okay?”

“Okay.” She let him go and Kaidan kissed her forehead before placing her on her feet, and she took his mother’s hand while Kaidan gave Nate the same treatment and passed him over to his father.

“Terra’s-?” His father cut himself off, desperate to know but also aware of little ears, and Kaidan saw the inward battle.

“I have to go.” Kaidan sighed. “As soon as we’re in orbit, I’ll contact you.” With a last wave to his kids, Kaidan ran the last distance to Normandy.

When he came through the airlock, he could feel the docking clamps release, and Joker- no, _Altair_ headed the ship out. Joker was sat in the co-pilot’s seat, completely focused on his screens, but at ease.

Normandy already had its next destination: a rendezvous with the rachni. It had been a strange kind of exchange, awkward to say the least, but the important part had gotten across. The queen had agreed, and she was meeting them half way. This had to work.

_Daddy! You have to give me a head-hug!_

Kaidan laughed, ignoring the confused look from the pilots. This was going to take some getting used to, but he loved that he could still talk to Rorie like she was right there, and Nate was here too. But they were accelerating fast, so he’d need to hurry before there was too much space between them. _I don’t know how._

 _Oh daddy! It’s easy! You just think it! Like this!_ The warmth that accompanied her suddenly encompassed him and he felt it press in, bringing with it all her love with a breath-taking force. As hugs went, it was the most powerful and comforting he’d ever received, and he endeavoured to return it to both Rorie and Nate. _You’re doing it, daddy!_

Kaidan knew that. He could feel the contentment in them that reflected his own. Then the connection was cooling. They were out of range. It was empty without them there, but they’d left him with a wonderful feeling that resounded through him, and it made him happy to know they'd feel the same.

Now he prayed that he’d be able to do the same for Terra.

**-o-O-o-**


	21. Chapter 21

“ _We’ve reached the co-ordinates_ ,” announced Joker. “ _Hurry up and go do your weird mind thing. And good luck_.”

“Thanks, Joker.” Kaidan was already stood in the shuttle bay, ready to go. It wasn’t like he’d needed to armour up.

Garrus had insisted on coming with him even though he was just as unarmed, and Kaidan suddenly appreciated his company. What he was about to do – interacting with the rachni - was ground-breaking. If it worked. This whole situation was a complete unknown, and he had no way to prepare for it. Nevertheless, he quickly boarded the shuttle with Garrus, leaving the hatch open.

Kaidan’s eyes landed on the Sand-tiger as he turned to face outwards, remembering the night she’d come up with the idea of the prototype. They’d been walking past an advertisement for the latest new and improved sky-car and she’d literally gasped and grabbed hold of him. Automatically reacting, he’d drawn his pistol, ready for whatever was coming at them. Terra had burst into laughter, teasing him that the advert wasn’t that bad. Her eyes had been sparkling with happiness…. They wouldn’t be like that anymore.

Continually haunting him, the sickening footage of her being drowned and the whip tearing through her skin, ruined the memory. Swallowing the bile at the back of his throat, Kaidan nodded at Cortez to take them across, and focused on the screen that gave him a view of the strange rachni ship that looked more akin to a Collector ship.

It still seemed amazing to him that a species as insect-like as the rachni, could produce ships at all. He didn’t mean to sound patronising, but they were so basic in every other way. Their whole way of life needed no technology – not even their communication - yet here they were, more advanced when it came to space-faring than his own species had been before the prothean data discoveries. It boggled his mind. It was like they had the technological knowledge, but had, for the most part, rejected it.

Only when they drifted closer did Kaidan realise that the ship was actually a large and very out-dated turian hauler which had been patched with some kind of organic matter. So that was how they did it. Why make ships when you could repair those that came right to you. No doubt some hapless mercs or miners thought they could plunder the rachni planet’s resources and found more than they bargained for.

Now he was about to enter a ship full of them. Their past alliances did nothing to alleviate the disquiet in him.

The shuttle passed into the rachni ship, its lighting dim. Through the gaps in the organic matter that covered most of the surfaces, Kaidan could see the ship had been stripped back to its hull; hollowed, to make the most of the space for the mass of rachni that accompanied their queen. He understood exactly why Joker had voiced his relief they weren’t boarding Normandy, after his last rachni encounter; there was barely a space that wasn’t filled with a rachni soldier.

Yet when he stepped off the shuttle as Cortez settled it on the deck, the rachni parted for him, and with a deep breath, Kaidan walked towards the waiting queen, with no idea what would come next.

An asari stood beside the queen – a reassuring presence, along with Garrus at his back – and she stepped forward.

“Welcome.”

Kaidan blinked. She sounded like the holo-guides scattered about the Citadel, and it was so at odds with this environment that it completely threw him. “Um…I’m not sure how this is going to work….” The comment died on his lips as the queen lowered her head.

The asari’s eyes went white. “Our ancestors memories are clear. We remember the mercy that allowed the rachni to live again. We remember the song of victory over the sour note of the machines who sought to use our children. We remember the crescendo drowning out those who brought us to near-extinction. Our existence and our justice was given by the one you seek. We will try to carry you on our song, in searching notes of white, to find the colours of Shepard.”

“Wow,” commented Garrus. “And…how exactly are you going to do that? It’s just that I’d have to object if it involves anything that might turn his brain to mush. I made a promise to a certain little girl that her daddy would be safe.”

Kaidan’s chest tightened at that.

The asari appeared to be herself again. “You need not worry. There is no danger. Interaction _will_ be difficult however. Unlike asari minds, few other races are able to open their minds to allow the rachni’s song. It is only possible when their lives are ending.”

Garrus nudged him. “For the record, that’s not an option.”

“No argument here,” returned Kaidan.

“But the queen believes that it may succeed with _me_ as a link,” informed the asari.

“You’re talking about a mind meld.”

“Yes. Through me, a two-way connection could be made.”

“You’re okay with this?” Kaidan checked, ignoring his own discomfort at the thought of ‘melding’ with this stranger.

“It is uncharted territory, but I trust the queen would not place me in harm’s way.”

Kaidan looked up at the queen. “Please. Let’s try this.”

Above him, the queen made a high-pitched shriek, while the asari stepped closer. “Relax. Open your mind. Embrace Eternity.”

Her eyes went black and Kaidan was hit with the force of her mind, invading like a punch without the pain, stealing the air while leaving him breathing, and he resisted the urge to defend himself against it. Yet there was no further intrusion. This wasn’t about passing over information, or retrieving it; she was merely a conduit.

And then it came. The rachni queen’s song came in odd sounds that made no sense to him, but tweaked at his mind, urging him to listen for Terra. It was an odd concept, but he gave himself to it.

Suddenly, the ‘music’ grew louder, and the whole galaxy opened up to him via pathways that were visualised in his mind through a myriad of colours streaked with white that merged and shone, branching out in thousands of directions, and it was as though he were physically rushing through them as the queen sang.

Aware that he was getting distracted from his purpose by the overwhelming immensity of this, Kaidan attempted to bring forth the feeling he’d experienced with his children. He wasn’t sure he knew _how_ to reach out, but the tingling sensation at his nape eased his concern that this would fail because of his ineptitude.

 _Kites Nest._ It was a directional thought and the pathways snapped into one and veered with startling velocity, focused.

Harsa system. Once again the pathway separated like hundreds of searching fingers, and all Kaidan could do was concentrate, desperately hoping he could _feel_ his wife through one of them. All he needed was the faintest touch to give him a destination.

When those branches began to collapse and he was pushed onwards, Kaidan wanted to protest, but there was new urging from the queen. This wasn’t where Terra was. With no option but to trust in the queen’s instinct, he was carried on.

Indris system. More searching fingers. Some of those were directed at places he already knew were fruitless from his own search here. Nothing. Terra wasn’t here either, and there was a little relief for Kaidan. It meant he hadn’t been close to her before he’d aimed the ship away.

Onwards. Vular system. When the pathways closed in on him again with no discovery, he held his breath.

Untrel system. Kaidan couldn’t decide whether he was enlivened that this was the last one, or frightened to death that he’d find that same emptiness as each system before.

But then he felt something. It wasn’t warm like Rorie and Nate, but it was still familiar, the way only someone with the same unique spores could feel. His heart beat hard in his chest, and hope soared. Attuned to him, the queen focused the pathway, and the connection he’d found grew stronger. With it came an innate certainty that this was Terra. He’d found her.

_Terra, I’m here._

In response, there came an intense emotion that forced him back. It was fear. He’d frightened her, and there had been something else there he hadn’t been able to identify in that brief moment. Kaidan tried to reach her again, but this time, though he could still sense her, there was no response. She was denying him, and he couldn’t talk to her.

When the pathway started to recede he pleaded with the queen to let him stay longer, but it was ignored. His connection to Terra faded to nothing, and he felt the loss deep. Common sense told him he had what he needed, but it was like he was leaving her behind again.

With a rush, Kaidan found himself back on the rachni ship, disoriented, and Garrus’ hand on his shoulder steadied him as the asari stepped back.

“Did it work?” Garrus asked.

“I know where she is,” Kaidan confirmed.

“Hurry,” spoke the queen, through the asari. “Her colours are fading. The blackened yellow pervades like the fierce red to drown out the beautiful tones.”

Fading…. Kaidan was already moving backwards. “Thank you.” Then he was running back to the shuttle. As energised as he was, fear gnawed at him. “Joker!”

“ _Shit! Did you need to shout? You made me spill my coffee!_ ”

“Lock in our destination. Untrel system. Adek.”

“ _It worked!? Altair!_ ”

“ _Seat’s yours, Commander_.”

“ _Locking in the co-ordinates now_ , _Kaidan. Now get your butt back on board or I’m leaving without you._ ”

Cortez already had the shuttle hovering, and Kaidan and Garrus leaped on.

Gripping hold of a ceiling strap, Kaidan tried to assimilate what he’d felt at the edge of Terra’s mind. The queen’s description came back to him: _blackened yellow pervades like the fierce red_. Sickness. That was what he’d sensed; the burning heat of her pain, and her fevered mind. None of it was good.

“Edi. Notify Hackett.”

Adek. They had to save her.

-o-O-o-

Shepard felt shaken. She was hallucinating; sensing Kaidan in the periphery of her mind, _hearing_ him, when he couldn’t possibly be there. She’d shut it down and pushed it away, trying to retain some semblance of sanity. How ironic, after all the batarians had done to make her believe she was losing her mind on the Citadel.

She tripped, cursing as her hands sank into the soaked ground.

It was a deluge. The air itself had suddenly let go of the warm moisture it had carried, like it was relieved that the cooler night was approaching and it could finally unburden itself of the weight. It had drenched everything within the first five minutes of its downpour, and now the already spongy ground was quickly becoming boggy, making walking even more difficult.

It was the last thing Shepard needed as she forced herself up. The pain in her back was breath-taking, bringing tears to her eyes with each step, and her limbs constantly trembled. The fever was dragging her down no matter how hard she tried to push through it, and every breath she took was either a bubbling gasp or a cough that brought up blood. But they had to be getting close to the base now. All she had to do was keep putting one foot in front of the other.

She needed something to distract her from what was wrong inside her. “Zaliesh. Talk to me,” she murmured, the rasping words scratching their way along her throat, and she could taste the blood. “Tell me how you ended up here.”

Zaliesh went to reach for her, but Shepard jerked away with a firm shake of her head. She couldn’t bear the contact, physically or deeper.

“When the Masters-“

“No. _Not_ Masters.” Shepard met Zaliesh’s gaze with a sharp one. “They’re not superior, and they have no right to enslave you. They’re batarians. Nothing more. Understand?”

There was a slight nod. “When the…batarians came from the sky, we hid. We didn’t understand what they were; how they could fly without wings. But they called out to us-“

“Wait. They called out? They _knew_ you were there?” That threw up a huge question.

“Yes. They said words of peace. Co-operation. We believed their lies. We made ourselves known. We made ourselves vulnerable. They took our children, and we submitted to the Masters because they said it would keep them safe.” Zaliesh clutched her daughter close, carrying her now - the thick air and heat of the day had taken its toll on the youngster. Zaliesh briefly closed her eyes, her brow creasing as she remembered. “We did not know the things they could do. How could we? We saw them as beings similar to ourselves, and Shanti never harm. We were wrong to trust. Naïve. The Mast- the batarians only bring pain.”

Normally, this would be where she’d say that not all batarians were like that. But Shepard didn’t say it. She just felt hatred.

A soft chirping sounded in the distance, nothing about it suggesting it was anything other than some animal, and Varush returned it. Another Shanti was returning, and this was how they found each other.

Three eventually emerged to re-join them, and there was a palpable level of happiness as the returning Shanti’s were greeted by the others through contact. To Shepard’s relief, they were all unharmed.

“All our people have returned. The batarians have been led far,” said Varush. “Their beasts have been abandoned.”

“Thank you.” Shepard was continually impressed by the Shanti. They were proving to be resilient people who had gone out there to lead the batarians away, despite the horrific treatment they’d endured at their hands. All to protect her - another outsider.

A soft light became visible through the gaps in the trees, and Shepard held her breath as she signalled the Shanti to stay still while she crept forward for a better view.

It was the base. She could see several batarians guarding the entrance, and knew there’d be more patrolling. That hatred ignited again, unbidden, and she restrained herself from acting on it. She needed to engage her rational side.

As Shepard considered the situation with the distance of a soldier, she finally had to admit the unpalatable truth: she was too messed up to fight her way into that facility.

Looking back at the faces of the Shanti lit by the last soft burnt orange rays of the setting sun, Shepard landed on the pale face of little Sharna, nestled in her mother’s arms. If they stayed here much longer, Zaliesh’s little girl would be the first to die.

Shepard moved back to them so she could speak safely. A wave of dizziness swept over her, but she squeezed her eyes shut until it passed. “Zaliesh. Take your people far enough away that they can’t be caught by stray gunfire. Varush. I need you to head around to the far side and wait until I start firing. I’ll distract them. It’ll be up to you to get inside that base and get the message out.”

“I do not know how to use your communication.”

“You can learn.” She caught his hand and reluctantly pressed it to her temple. “The knowledge is all in here.” She was so sensitive, it was all Shepard could do not to recoil from his presence, but she gritted her teeth through it.

Varush nodded, sadly. _You are making yourself their target._

  1. “I’ll hold them off as long as I can. When the shooting starts, more will come out to join them. That’s when you go in. You can slip right by them.”



_But you will be…_ Varush’s soft voice trailed off in her head.

Shepard pulled his hand away from her. Regret kicked her in the heart before she had time to harden it. She didn’t want to leave her family, but this was the Shanti’s only chance. “Get that message out to Normandy. They’ll come for you and your people. Ask Kaidan to look into how these batarians knew you were on that planet.”

Then Zaliesh was there, grasping her hand and holding on tight when Shepard tried to remove her. _Terra, no! You cannot sacrifice yourself!_

 _You know you need to leave here._ Shepard ran her free hand gently over Sharna’s hairless head which rested on her mother’s shoulder. She wished she could have the chance to do that with her own children one last time. _This is the only way._ Shepard met Zaliesh’s sorrowful look. _Please, tell Kaidan I love him, and that I’m sorry I couldn’t make it back to them._

Breaking the contact, she turned away to face the direction of her fate, desperately trying to find the soldier inside her.

She was a broken one, but she couldn’t falter now. Her duty was to save life, even at the cost of her own, and she would give it gladly for the Shanti.

**-o-O-o-**


	22. Chapter 22

The night had arrived, turning everything around Shepard into various hues of grey.

Her heart beat loud but steady in her ears. Shepard attempted to breathe slow, deep breaths – the kind that helped bring focus and a steady hand for those all-important precision shots – but all it did was send her face down into her hands to stifle the erupting cough which left a pool of blood in her palms.

She wiped them down her pant legs, the act making her almost laugh as she imagined Rorie’s unimpressed face that she was doing exactly what she’d told her daughter off for doing, countless times at the dinner table. If she were here, Rorie would definitely call her out on it. Thank God she wasn’t.

A soft chirping sounded from somewhere on the other side of the base she was hiding near the edge of. Varush was ready.

She shifted carefully. From this height, a fall would guarantee broken bones or worse. Getting up the tree had been a death-defying stunt in the shape she was in, and she’d nearly given up half-way, but the fact was, the higher her vantage point, the better, and it had pushed her upwards. It had taken its toll, but she would _not_ acknowledge it.

Asides from a pistol, she had Balak’s assault rifle and shotgun, with a couple of handfuls of heat-sinks. The pistol was usually her weapon of choice, but deadly precision wouldn’t be so attainable for her now that her vision was starting to blur and double, so the rifle it was. The shotgun would remain dangling at her hip – a last resort should she need it.

She inched forward, the branch as thick and sturdy as Vega’s torso, and once she was satisfied with her position, she readied the rifle. It felt too heavy in her hands, and as her finger moved to the trigger, she had to take into account the tremor in her muscles. It wasn’t from fear - she felt an icy calm now - but her body and mind were on their last reserves, and both reminded her with every second. It didn’t matter. Her last stand started here. This was for the Shanti.

Raising the rifle, Shepard sighted down on her targets. She would start with those patrolling the perimeter closest to her.

Everything else faded out. It was just her and them.

The first shots ripped through the quiet before they got to the batarians. They buckled instantly, and Shepard was already re-targeting those at the entrance. They were bringing their rifles up, but seven didn’t get to fire at all, and she wounded three more while the rest scattered. Now the real fight was on.

To bring home the point, there were several vibrating thunks on the under-side of her branch. Her superior position and the branch’s girth protected her, as she’d gauged they would.

More fell as they raced towards her, and that’s when those remaining got their shit together and had the sense to use the jungle. They disappeared into it, and she lost sight of them. But she still had the advantage for now, because she didn’t yet need to move, and they _did_ if they wanted to bring her down. Unlike herself and the Shanti, the batarians didn’t have a light footstep among them, and they gave their positions away. Shepard adjusted.

The sound of the entrance hatch sliding open distracted her. Here came the reinforcements. She fired some shots off into the underbrush closest to her, satisfied when the grunts confirmed she’d hit them, and returned her gaze back to the entrance. More shots directed at the newcomers encouraged them to flee into the cover of the jungle too, leaving the hatch unprotected. Then, to her horror, she saw the lock engage.

It flashed, telling her that Varush was there, attempting to get in, but that wasn’t something he’d ‘learned’ from her. She was going to have to get down there and get him in.

More thunks of gunfire struck the branch beneath her feet as though to point out that it was going to be nigh impossible with so many now focused on her, and while she raked the area with her gunfire she desperately tried to think.

What she wasn’t prepared for was the grenade that whistled through the air towards her. With enough instinct left to launch herself away, Shepard leapt for another wide branch of a neighbouring tree deeper in. She would have made it, but the grenade went off as it hit the trunk, and while the tree took the damage, she was hit with the shockwave.

Blown past her intended landing, Shepard found herself falling.

-o-O-o-

Normandy was approaching Adek, and Kaidan shifted restlessly in his armour, waiting for that first glance of the place Terra was being held.

“ _General, I have Admiral Hackett for you,_ ” informed Traynor.

“Thanks. Put it through here, please.” And Joker opened the comm link for him. “Stephen.”

“ _Kaidan, I’m not far behind you with the fifth fleet. Made a deal with Command: I’d leave the other fleets at a respectable distance from Tuchanka, ready to respond should there be any trouble from the krogan now we’ve retreated. What’s your status?_ ”

“On approach now.”

“ _Understood. We’ll be watching your back should you need any assistance._ ” There was a heavy sigh. “ _I can’t lose my daughter like this, Kaidan._ ”

“You won’t,” vowed Kaidan. Though fear crawled unpleasantly beneath his skin, he refused to let it penetrate any deeper. He had to believe he could get to her in time. “I won’t allow it.” And by God, Spirits, and Goddesses, he meant it.

“ _Those may be just words, but they’re more comforting than you know. Godspeed. Hackett out._ ”

Then Joker was bringing the ship into Adek’s orbit, and Kaidan could feel that tingle at his nape which didn’t fail to get his heart pumping. He closed his eyes, concentrating on that connection until he could sense his wife. _Terra. I’m here. I’m coming for you._

_NO!_

Her response was filled with fear and anger, but it was what he’d felt in the background before she’d rammed him away that concerned him most. It was a bleakness he recognised because he’d felt it himself, when he’d thought he was about to die. Resigned acceptance.

Trying to get through again, Kaidan was met with a solid wall. He felt her presence, but it was like banging on a door from a mile away. She just couldn’t– no, _wouldn’t_ hear him.

“ _I have isolated two possible bases_ ,” said Edi, her physical self in the shuttle bay with the others. The screen in front of Altair changed to display the co-ordinates.

“Take us closer. Get us a visual on the larger one.” The camera view sent back images of three batarian ships on the ground, and Kaidan made a decision instantly. “We head to the smaller site.”

Joker looked sceptical. “How do you know Shepard’s not at this one?”

“You don’t hold someone like Shepard at a base so open, with easy access to a way off-planet. They’d want something securer.”

“You’re assuming they’ve got brains,” muttered Joker. “Taking Shepard was a pretty good indication they don’t.”

“Don’t underestimate them. Balak’s military. There’s a good chance those with him are too. They’d use a securer site, and that other base is surrounded by thick jungle and water. She’s there.” Kaidan was sure of it.

“Can you…you know…feel her?” Joker looked terrified at what the answer might be.

“Yes.” The pilot sagged in relief. “But she’s not letting me in. She’s not well.”

“No shit,” scowled Joker. “Heading in.”

“ _We have been detected_ ,” announced Edi, just before Altair’s screen confirmed it. “ _Their ships are launching_.”

“Joker, get ready to give them a dance.” Kaidan ran for elevator. “Cortez. We’re on.”

“ _Ready, General._ ”

This was it. It was some comfort to feel Terra there, a constant presence, even if he was shut out. It meant she was still alive. Now it was up to him to make sure she stayed that way.

-o-O-o-

A lower branch slowed Shepard’s descent with a rib-cracking smack, but it also sent her into a tumble, and when she landed it was with breath-stealing impact, right on her ruined back. The agony would have made her gasp if she’d had the breath to do it, and her vision flashed white before it came back in bursting stars that dragged darkness in.

Unfortunately, she didn’t black out, and her view of the jungle canopy was replaced by the faces of batarians as they loomed over her with weapons pointed. Bizarrely, she was distracted by the sky above them. It was getting lighter, the heat returning, and with it the rain was retreating. The night here was fleeting, it seemed. And she was still alive.

Her system was still in shock, and she had yet to get the feeling back in her fingers, or she would have taken as many out as she could before they pulled their triggers. She was incredibly disappointed and angry with herself. So stupid. She should have considered the possibility they’d lock the damn hatch, and now, because of her ineptitude, the Shanti would die on this godforsaken planet.

To add to that, she was hearing Kaidan in her head again, and this time it didn’t go away. Instead, it lingered behind the walls she’d made, taunting her. It was better to go down by gunfire than by madness, she decided.

A rustle from the bushes to their right had the batarians aiming towards the source, and Shepard tested her weapon hand, pins and needles telling her the feeling was returning. But her hand was empty. She’d dropped the rifle. All she had now was the shotgun, and the pistol that was wedged at her waistband.

That’s when the varren emerged. It was lucky it didn’t get shot. Instead, the batarians laughed, and she quietly moved her hand to the pistol because it was the one weapon she could feel was definitely there.

The varren was wheezing hard, and white spittle dripped in strings from its mouth and nostrils. It wasn’t doing well in this environment and it probably would have been kinder to put it out of its misery. However, Shepard had bigger threats to worry about.

Her fingers touched the pistol….

The boot came down on her hand, just hard enough to ensure she couldn’t move it, her fingers grinding down into the metal. “Naughty, naughty Shepard.” The boot’s owner sneered down at her. “You know what happens to bad people?”

A blur of scales and teeth flew over her, its speed creating a wind, and the batarian’s head was snapped off his body in an instant and powerful move. As soon as the creature landed it immediately leapt straight at the next batarian, and Shepard got a chance to take a good look at this new aggressor as she attempted to slide herself agonisingly backwards.

With a filtered nasal passage like the smaller, rabbit-like creature she’d seen before, this one was a definite predator. About the size and shape of a varren, its skin was snake-like, its paws large, padded and splayed wide, meaning it handled the soft ground easily. Its mouth was its only weaponry – the paws appeared completely clawless – and it yielded an impressive array of razor-sharp fangs and teeth top and bottom, set in a muscled jaw. Those teeth were shredding through the basic armour worn by the batarian it was now attacking, and the man was still screaming as the animal tore open his stomach.

The others snapped out of their shock and started to aim, and that’s when more of the animals streaked out of nowhere and joined in the assault. They were pack hunters. And they were ferocious.

A hand on her shoulder made Shepard jump, and she looked up to see Zaliesh. _What are you doing here!?_

_The others are safe. I came back to help you._

_You’re endangering yourself!_

_So are you._

Shepard tried to sit up, knowing she needed to get some distance from this chaos, but it nearly caused her to black out again. Then Varush was there too, and they helped drag her backwards, but the movement caught one of the animals’ eye, and it dropped the dead varren and began to stalk forwards.

Before Shepard could release her pistol, Zaliesh and Varush curled themselves around her as best they could, their skin reflecting the jungle around them, emitting that same strong flower scent they’d encountered before, to mask the smell of her blood. Nevertheless, Shepard tightened her hand over pistol, just in case, peeking around Zaliesh to see what it was going to do.

It appeared confused, looking but not understanding where she’d gone, and with so much activity around it, the animal was quickly offered an alternative prey.

Shepard counted ten of the beasts, and more were still emerging. She watched as the surviving batarians became more panicked at the numbers, and started to flee. But they weren’t thinking, and disorientated, ran deeper into the jungle instead of towards the safety of the base. That, at least, had worked in Shepard’s favour.

She could do this.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan hadn’t had a chance to take a look at the Sand-tiger since she’d arrived, but he found it a welcoming distraction now as he sat impatiently inside it.

His first impression: she oozed quality and power. The specs spoke for themselves, but Terra had spared no expense in outfitting the Sand-tiger’s trimmings. These were leather seats to rival Joker’s. Cortez was sat in the front and handling her beautifully, despite this being his first run with her, and that spoke volumes on the superior design. Although there wasn’t much room in the rear, Kaidan didn’t feel squeezed in, even with Garrus beside him.

“ _Commander. The batarians are sending small vessels your way,_ ” informed Altair.

“Copy that.” Cortez switched over to their shuttle, which was a little way behind them because of the Sand-tiger’s superior speed. James was in the hotseat, and transporting Jack, Edi, Knox, Gardew and Cael. “Mr Vega. Time to step up. We’ve got company. Think you can handle this without crashing her this time?”

 _“Esteban! I’m hurt! I did that on purpose._ ”

“ _Did he say ‘crashed’?_ ” exclaimed the voice of Cael.

“ _He did. Should we be concerned?_ ” questioned Gardew.

“ _Nah, Esteban’s just scare-mongering. I totally meant to do it the first time, and the second wasn’t my fault: the leviathans took out the power. And even Cortez has experienced_ that _._ ”

“ _Who crashes on purpose?_ ” muttered Gardew.

“ _Commander Vega, it seems,_ ” answered Cael.

“ _Anyway, we’ve got this,_ ” said James, seriously. _“So go get Shepard, and we’ll be right on your tail._ ”

“I’ll hold you to that. Cortez out.” He turned his head ever so slightly to address Kaidan without taking his eyes from their course. “Taking her in, General.”

“Do it,” nodded Kaidan. They were getting close now, he could feel it – feel _Terra_ – like the link was stronger even though she was still keeping him at bay. He wasn’t taking it personally. She was going through a huge ordeal, and the last thing she’d be expecting was contact from him via the spores. “Altair. Any problems from the ships?”

Joker spluttered over the comm. “ _Uh, in case you didn’t notice, I dealt with_ two _Alliance_ fleets.”

“That weren’t trying very hard,” scoffed Garrus.

“ _Yeah, well…maybe. But this time I can fight back, so_ -“

“ _Sorry to interrupt, but we have a message from Admiral Hackett_ ,” said Altair _. “He and his fleet are on approach, General_.”

“Thanks.” Then Kaidan could see the base, set into a natural rock formation that had once homed a cave but was now invaded by the mining construct. He detached his weapon in preparation, and Garrus appeared to be of the same mind. They were ready.

-o-O-o-

“Six hostiles,” informed Edi.

“I got them,” gritted out James. He was eager to go find Shepard, and this was just an annoyance. The vessels were small fighters and that meant, in comparison, the shuttle was the under-dog. Not that it dissuaded James. It wasn’t fun unless it was a challenge.

When the first two tried to pin him between them, James simply dropped her hard, the tops of the trees below scraping over the underside. Then he swung her back up to face the one of the left, firing as he went.

Gardew and Cael came in behind him, but he was focused on making his shots count, cursing as the fighter weaved and dodged them.

“I nearly emptied my stomach contents all over your Corporal,” said Cael, his tone up-beat despite the topic.

“We were thinking perhaps one of _us_ should fly,” added Gardew. “Please.”

Frustrated already, and aware that the other fighters were closing in, James needed a new tactic, flicking a switch and relinquishing the seat to Gardew, who jumped in it quick, leaving Cael to co-pilot.

Hurtling into the back, James saw the machine gun rising from the floor, and Knox’s appreciative look. “Don’t even think about it, Corporal. This baby’s mine.”

Smirking, Knox gave in on that one and yanked open the hatch nearest him while Jack did the other. Now they were only vulnerable from behind.

Gardew was chasing after the one in front, and from the sounds of it, Cael was getting some hits in. The other fighters were attempting to surround them, but it wouldn’t do them much good. James pulled on the trigger, strafing the fighter with heavy fire. At his back, James could feel the spike of energy from Jack’s biotics, and so he concentrated ahead; his Bella could handle anything stupid enough to aim at her. The huge rush of power proved it, and he felt it suck at his own body, threatening to take him out with it. Thankfully, he had a firm grip on the guns. On either side, Edi and Knox were leaning out, focused behind the shuttle, doing whatever damage they could to the one on their backside.

An explosions from the front was followed by two more either side as James finally struck his target’s fuel tank, and Jack had pretty much thrown her quarry into the path of a gigantic tree.

Gardew was turning the shuttle so they could deal with the one following them, giving James a chance to use his heavy weapon, and Jack moved up beside him to add her weight to it. With Edi and Knox doing the same, the fighter was in pieces even before Gardew had completed his arc.

“We have a problem,” called out Cael.

“Four down, but two to go,” finished Gardew.

“And they’re not on our radar.”

James peered out, assessing the area below them. “There’s a gap down there.”

“Likely to be a waterway of some sort,” said Edi.

“Right, so they’re following it.”

“The shuttle is too wide for us to safely negotiate it,” warned Gardew.

“Who gives a flying fuck about safety? Take us down there,” snarled Jack.

Feeling the anger radiating off Jack, James slid his hand over her fisted one. It didn’t take long for her to let the anger go, and when she clasped his hand, her head fell to his shoulder. Her dissipating biotics stung his skin a little, but nothing would have made him let go. “Shepard would care,” James stated gently. “It’s an unnecessary risk, and those fighters can easily out-run us. Let’s get to that base. Notify Cortez he’s got two bogeys coming his way.”

He sure as hell wasn’t going to let Shepard down by not even making it to where he could be needed most.

-o-O-o-

_I am sorry. I failed. I could not get inside._

The immediate vicinity clear of anything hostile, Shepard looked at Varush as he and Zaliesh stepped back and returned to that translucent shade that was natural for them. _It was my fault. Not yours. But now we can do it together._ She was burning inside and out, and she begged them to take their hands off her now. They did it instantly, but Shepard knew she needed help to get to her feet, and she raised her hands up. They both clasped a hand each, and hauled her upright.

“Thank you,” Shepard breathed out. Or maybe that should be crackled. “Come on-“

She was interrupted by a gunshot, and in the same shocking second, Varush’s chest erupted with his pink-tinged blood.

“No! No, no, no!” screamed out Shepard, and somehow she caught him with one arm as he fell into her, while shoving Zaliesh behind her with the other, though in the next instant the weight of Varush drove Shepard down to her knees. He was panting heavily, and panic seized her as she realised she had no medigel to save him.

All Shepard could do was hug him close, tears displaying the depth of her sorrow.

-o-O-o-

“We have a visual on the base,” said Cael, and James stepped back into the cockpit to check it out for himself. He could hear scattered gunfire from below.

“Edi. Can you pinpoint the origins of that gunfire?”

“I can.”

A screen brought up a map of red dots that were scattered randomly throughout the jungle, and it didn’t make a lot of sense. “What the hell’s going on down there?”

“Shepard’s escaped,” grinned Jack.

“Maybe…. But they’d be targeted in one place if that were the case.” He went to contact Kaidan, but a warning sounded.

“Two hostiles!” yelled Cael.

They weren’t ready, not expecting the fighters to have bothered with them any longer, and they scrambled back into positions. The heavy fire from the fighters slammed into them from either side, knocking them all off their feet. More strikes and the cockpit was wailing as the shuttle began to descend. This wasn’t good.

Desperately trying to get upright and fight back, James grabbed the machine gun only to watch the fighter in front of him vanish in a plume of fire. Then the Sand-tiger was in its place. Cortez.

With a beautiful move that even a non-pilot like James could appreciate, Cortez spun the Sand-tiger up and over the shuttle so it was flying almost atop the other fighter, and then decelerated just enough to put him squarely at its rear, firing relentlessly before it could react.

The second plume was just as welcome as the first, and James whooped along with Knox, while Jack was still awash in blue, with nothing to aim it at.

“Um…perhaps celebrations should wait until we have landed,” called out Cael.

“May be premature,” agreed Gardew, as he fought with the controls. “Am unable to gain height.”

“ _Follow me_ ,” came Cortez, now in front and diverting them just slightly so they re-joined the stream the fighters had used earlier. Gardew followed without question. It had to be better than running full frontal into something solid. Cortez pulled up and away from the shuttle’s path. “ _When she hits the water, it’ll give her drag; just keep her nose up_.”

They clipped a few branches in the process, but it actually helped to rapidly reduce their speed even before they got to the water. Then they over-ran the bank as the water-course meandered off, sliding along the soft ground and narrowly missing several trees, until they finally rammed into one. Other than sending them flying to the shuttle’s floor, they were amazingly unharmed.

“Well…that was a new experience,” said Gardew.

“One best not experienced again,” nodded Cael.

Knox groaned as he got to his feet. “They never shut up.”

James allowed himself a laugh. “Hey, Esteban, for the record: I wasn’t flying. It was the Twins here.”

“ _You were in charge, Mr Vega. I’m heading back for another shuttle and the Doc. Kaidan’s at the base, just a short distance North._ ”

“Got it. Let’s head out.” James took lead at a fast pace, and he wasn’t the only one thoroughly focused.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan was keeping an eye on their surroundings, while he waited for Garrus to bypass the base’s entrance. There were distant sounds of gunfire but they came from various directions, which was odd. Could Terra have escaped? Certainly. But how the hell was he supposed to know which way to head off in? No, it was most likely that the batarians were under a larger attack in some form. All he could do for now was check out the base. Terra felt so close. She _had_ to be near.

“Got it,” hushed Garrus as the hatch slid open.

This was it.

-o-O-o-

Her hands pressed futilely against Varush’s wound, Shepard could only focus on the liquid she couldn’t stop from seeping out.

 _It is…alright, Terra. I go…back…to the earth._ Varush’s soft but broken reassuring words floated through her with serenity even though he was filled with pain. _Because of you…I die free. Thank you._

When his body sagged with his last exhale, Shepard clutched him tighter. _Please don’t go._ But she was talking to no-one but herself now. His presence was gone. She’d failed him, and losing him tore through her.

A loud, cruel laugh at her periphery brought her head up, along with that dark, coldness from deep inside her.

The three-eyed batarian ‘doctor’. His pistol was still raised.

His men stood around her, rifles hanging loosely at her sides, not believing her to be a threat now that she was on her knees and surrounded. They must have doubled back after being led away by the Shanti. If it had been that long, then the two other groups would be here soon, too.

Zaliesh was just behind her, weeping for Varush, and it was never more important to Shepard that Zaliesh not die at their hands too. _Zaliesh. Hide._

She could only hope Zaliesh had followed the instruction as she unclipped the shotgun and fired into the batarian doctor’s laughing face in one smooth move. His men were quick to respond, bringing up their rifles by the time his body collapsed to the ground. Now it was her turn to die….

A swathe of crackling blue energy rushed over her head, her eyes closing against it. When she opened them the batarians were either dead – battered against tree trunks – or moaning as they got to their feet. Shots whizzed through the air from in front and behind her, ending their lives too, and then, asides from the more distant gunfire, it went quiet. Somehow, she was still alive.

“Terra!”

Kaidan rushed forward, making her insides jump and crawl at the same time, and she pushed herself to her feet, the empty shotgun dropping to be replaced with her pistol. “Stay back!”

.

Kaidan froze, shocked by both her condition and her reaction. Her skin was colourless, her ragged clothes soaked with rain and blood, her eyes were lifeless and cold, and she swayed like it was only pure determination that was keeping her upright. This was just as bad as seeing the torture inflicted upon her, and it hurt him to see her like this.

He looked around, at Garrus a short distance beside him, and to James and Jack, Knox, Gardew and Cael, who had emerged on his far side in time to help take out the batarians threatening Terra. But they looked as stunned and dismayed as he was.

Taking a step forward, he stopped again when it was clear she was a hairs-breath away from pulling the trigger, and her arms were shaking badly. Those batarian bastards had gotten deep. “Baby, it’s okay. It’s over. Let us help you. Please.” His voice cracked as his emotion spilled through, and he took a deep breath, trying to reach out to her. _I’m here. It’s me. Reach for me, Terra. You’ll know it’s me, if you’d just look._

Her face grimaced in emotional pain and anger. “Stay out of my head! Don’t touch me!”

Kaidan could hear a rasping crackle in every breath, and blood lined the inside of her lips. He needed to get her out of here, now. “I won’t.” Kaidan let his weapon fall from his hand, lifting them slowly up so she could see they were empty. “I got the spores from Solus. So I could find you.”

Her frown was deep, her lips pressing together and twisting in torment. “I don’t believe you. I don’t believe you.”

.

“Shepard…”

Keeping her gun trained on ‘Kaidan’, Shepard almost faltered at Garrus’ voice, thinking just maybe it could be them, but that cold part told her not to be fooled again. It was just a cruel trick. But they’d killed the others…. No. _Don’t_ be fooled. “Shut up.”

Kaidan took another step closer, but she knew what would come next if she let him too near. She’d fall into his arms and he’d bury a blade deep. Her abdominal wound throbbed as a reminder.

The gunfire was getting closer, and she saw him nod towards the one wearing James’ face; heard those behind her backing away and towards the noise. That was the last batarians fighting off the animals that were biting back. It’s how she felt: wild and vicious. But how the hell was this Shanti talking in her head when he wasn’t touching her? Shanti couldn’t do that….

“Terra?” Shepard jumped at Zaliesh’s voice at her ear. “They are not Shanti. You can go home.”

Home…. Tears clouded her vision, but she didn’t let them fall. She couldn’t believe it – didn’t dare to - her arms refusing to unlock and lower her only defence. Let him close and he’ll cut you deep….

But she could feel him still there in her head. The spores…? With a bubbling, stuttering breath, Shepard let him in.

.

Kaidan saw the conflict within her, but he felt the second she let the walls fall.

Her pain was shocking, her fear and thoughts were heart-breaking, and all Kaidan could think to do in that moment was give her comfort. Like Rorie had shown him, Kaidan encompassed her with all the love he felt for her, imagining it wrapping around her, gentle but firm, leaving no possibility for her to disbelieve it.

She gasped, her tears falling down her cheeks as the gun fell from her fingers, and Kaidan closed the gap, catching her before she fell too. She tensed from the pain his hands were causing as he held her, but also because she was still expecting him to hurt her, and that brought tears to his own eyes. _Never,_ he vowed to her.

She began sobbing in this arms then, and Kaidan felt the sheer exhaustion and relief like it was his own. Picking her up, Kaidan hurried her back towards the clearing behind him where the shuttle was now landing.

“No!” Terra grasped his armour, her eyes panicked, but before she could speak further she was consumed with a fit of coughing that left blood on his chest-piece and scared the shit out of him.

_Don’t talk. Think it._

_Zaliesh. The Shanti. Varush…._ He had a jumble of thoughts that gave him some understanding of the plight of those the batarians had used as slaves. But then Terra was blacking out, and Kaidan could sense the trouble her body was in. With effort, he fought down his own panic. “Garrus, I need you to liaise with the Shanti woman, Zaliesh. There are Shanti here that need rescue.”

“Got it. Don’t you worry about them, Shepard,” called out Garrus as he backtracked. “We’ll get them all.” Kaidan appreciated that, even if he wasn’t sure Terra could hear any longer. He wasn’t able to feel her now. She was alive, but unresponsive.

With each step he took, Kaidan was conscious that he could lose her, and when the shuttle hatch slid open, he was never more grateful to see Chakwas.

Loathe to let go of her, Kaidan carefully laid Terra on her side on the stretcher Chakwas had ready, and jumped in, wincing at the sight of his wife’s back, ravaged as it had been by Balak and infection.

“We need to go. Now,” said Chakwas as she ran her scans, her voice leaving no uncertainty that it was dire.

Unable to take his eyes off Terra’s pallid face, Kaidan informed Garrus and Vega they were leaving immediately and that the shuttle would return for them. Both reassured him they had it covered, and they’d have the surviving Shanti ready for extraction. He’d known they would, because it was clear to them that it was important to Shepard.

Terra. Kaidan reached for her hand, wanting to feel her there in his head again. He needed her to get through this. “Doc?” It was more pleading than he meant it to be.

Chakwas’ returning look was almost fierce. “She’ll be fine. She _will_.” It was a promise if ever there was one.

Raising Terra’s clammy hand to his lips, he kissed the back of it. She would wake, and he would be there. They would go home - together.

**-o-O-o-**


	23. Chapter 23

The Normandy was quiet again, but this time it was a respectful one. Shepard was back on board, and now they were all waiting with bated breath for Chakwas’ all-clear. It wasn’t coming soon enough for Joker. He checked the time: it had been seven hours now.

Even though they were stationary over Adek, he fiddled restlessly and unnecessarily with the screens in front of him until he felt Altair’s hand close over his.

“She’ll be okay.”

Joker met her soft eyes. “She has to be,” he said sadly. But he wished he hadn’t watched their arrival on the internal cameras. He wished he hadn’t seen just how bad Shepard looked; how deep the frown lines of concern were on Chakwas’ face; how pale Kaidan was, privy as he was to what was going on inside Shepard’s head. It all equalled: seriously bad, and he needed someone to keep him afloat, dragged down as he felt by the worry of it all.

Altair stood and tugged at his hand. “Come on. Let’s head down.”

“I can’t go in the Mess. Everyone’s…waiting in there.”

“You’re ‘waiting’ up here. What’s the difference? Besides, you need to get out of this cockpit and relax. You haven’t left it since we were last at the Citadel.”

“Who can relax right now?” Then Edi was coming towards them, and Joker sighed. She was here to relieve him – her physical presence an added push that said she agreed with Altair. “Fine. Maybe a coffee would be good.”

Passing Edi with a grateful nod, Joker let Altair lead him into the elevator. Coffee… Yeah, he could probably do with the boost; he felt like he was on auto-pilot right now. Yet when the doors opened on the Crew Deck, Joker hesitated.

Altair turned to him, and before he could find an excuse to go back to the safety of his cockpit, she stepped closer and hugged him. He hadn’t realised how much he needed that, and he sank into it - into _her_. Inhaling the aroma of jasmine, it seemed to settle his unease, and he enjoyed the softness of her beneath his hands.

This was what he was missing out on. Human contact.

He’d always surrounded himself with the inanimate and unyielding because it didn’t judge him. Then Shepard had come along, as equally as accepting as any ship, and for the first time he felt a connection to something that wasn’t unthinking (or his family). Then came Edi, who had bridged the gap between machine and ‘real’, and…he didn’t know it, but he’d grasped hold of that like it was all he was worth – something _close_ to normal. And Edi was great, but…there were things they could never share. Shepard had been showing him he could have ‘normal’ all along – if she could love him like a brother, why not someone else, as something more? He just wasn’t listening. Until now. Until Robbie.

Joker pulled back just enough to look at her, and he lowered his head slowly, still half-expecting her to rear back. But she didn’t. In fact, he could feel her heart beating faster against his chest. That was for him!

“Doc! How is she?”

Garrus’ concerned voice radiating from the Mess, broke the moment, and they both released each other and quickly made their way round to the Mess to hear Chakwas’ response.

The Mess was packed with most of the crew, asides from the medical staff who were either in the medbay or in the observation room, where the over-flow of Shanti were being administered to. And of course Hackett had wasted no time in coming across once it was clear his fleet weren’t really needed asides from added boots on the ground to assist in clearing up the last batarians that were scattered through the jungle.

An exhausted Chakwas had stopped in front of Shepard’s father, but addressed them all.

“She’s stable.”

It was a huge weight lifting, and everyone could breathe again. And they did, almost as one, followed by some hugging and relieved laughter. Altair grabbed Joker’s arm, looking at him with a light-hearted ‘I told you so’. He’d take that any day.

Most of the crew started to disperse, happy enough with that, but there were those of them, like Joker himself, who needed more. Joker looked around the room at who was left.

Cortez was standing in the kitchenette like he needed the counter to shield himself from the worst. Knox, Adams, Clay, Traynor and the two salarians were sat at the Mess table. James was sat _on_ the table directly behind Jack who was facing, and hugging, the back of the chair she was sat in. Then she let go and leaned back, and James bent to wrap his arms around her from shoulder to shoulder, his chin resting on her crown. Jack looked like she needed it; Joker had never seen her so afraid. His hand slipped over Altair’s where she still held on to his arm. Garrus stood solidly beside Hackett, and Joker got the idea that the turian was quite prepared to tussle with the admiral for first access to Shepard. And of course Edi would be watching, though she’d already know Shepard’s condition.

“How bad is it?” asked Hackett.

Chakwas’ face was severe in a way that made Joker wince in preparation. “We’ve dealt with the internal abdominal bleeding; binded her broken ribs, and braced the broken fingers on her left hand, and her nose; begun treatment for the infection and sealed the cuts at her wrists and puncture wounds in her left arm. The extensive lacerations to her back mean that, to add to the severe infection, there was some muscle damage as well. Those will take a little longer to deal with. Most concerning is the pulmonary oedema-“

“What the fuck’s that?” Jack asked abruptly, but like the rest of them, Chakwas understood the way Jack dealt with her fear, and displayed no reaction to the tone.

“Fluid in the lungs. All the Shanti are suffering from the early stages of it, which means that for Shepard the high humidity levels exacerbated the after-effects of the water-boarding.” They all shifted uncomfortably at the mention of the torture. “For that, Shepard’s on a machine to help with her breathing, and meds to help remove the excess fluids and assist her weakened heart.”

“Spirits,” breathed Garrus. “And that’s just the damage you can see,” he said, grimly. Joker understood what Garrus was saying, and it dampened his mood further.

“Yes. There’ll be…deeper repercussions, but she’s with us now.” Chakwas visibly straightened. “We can get her through this.”

There was a lighter murmur of agreement from the room, and Joker never felt more proud to be amongst them. This was the family Shepard had made, ever-growing.

“Can I go in?” asked Hackett, and Joker was surprised at the vulnerability in the man’s voice. It was rare for Hackett to let anything slip from behind that hard-ass admiral’s mask.

“She’s still out, but of course.” Chakwas lifted her hand up to stop Garrus and himself from following Hackett. Damn, he’d only taken a single step, and Joker couldn’t help the resentful glare aimed at the doc. “I know it’s not easy, but it would be better if the rest of you try to relax, sleep, eat, or…hell, have a strong drink, if you wish.”

There were more mumbles that conveyed they were all on board with that idea. Yet they all stayed in place for a moment longer, watching Hackett disappear into the medbay with Chakwas, like the very act of that door opening let them all feel a little closer to Shepard until it shut them out again. Then, one by one, they gradually began to trail their way to the lounge, except for Garrus, who stared at those blacked-out windows as though he could actually see through them.

Joker indicated for Altair to go on ahead, then closed in on the motionless turian and nudged him. “Coming, Garrus?”

“Yeah.” The word was breathed out on a subdued sigh.

“Yeah,” Joker repeated, patting his shoulder in empathy. They walked towards the lounge together.

-o-O-o-

Sounds. They were so important to Kaidan right now.

The oxygen rushing into the mask over Terra’s face; the rhythmic tone from the machine that gave voice to her heartbeat. It was comforting, especially as she was still dark to him.

He kept replaying Adek in his head. How close he’d been to losing her.... Just a few seconds earlier and that base’s hatch would have closed behind him and Garrus, and they wouldn’t have heard _that_ laugh. Vicious and victorious, it had dragged their attention from the base and back to the jungle. It was too dense to see anything, but it had been close. They’d stepped back out, and let the hatch close, both of them following a need to know the cause of that amusement. Then a shotgun blast had cut it off, and Kaidan had followed his gut. It had to be Terra. And it was.

He studied her sleeping form now. Chakwas had wanted her in a more upright position, to help her lungs, but laying Terra on her back wasn’t an option, so she was on her side, the top half of the bed at a gentle lean as a compromise to keep Terra comfortable. The colour returning to her skin was a relief, but there was a constant sheen of sweat there, despite the ambient temperature in the ship.

She’d been through so much more than he’d seen on that damned video. Vega had reported the devastation inside the base when they’d cleared it out and rescued the remaining Shanti inside, as unwilling as they appeared to be to leave their dead ‘Masters’. Terra had somehow fought her way out, and killed Balak in the process. It gave him some comfort to know she’d had that justice at least.

A soft cough reminded him he was not alone, and he looked up to see some of the Shanti lying in the other beds. Their conditions were less serious than Terra’s, and so they hadn’t required anything more than meds to help clear their lungs. The female, Zaliesh, was in the bed next to Terra’s, with her daughter sleeping soundly on her other side, and she was watching him.

“She saved us.” Kaidan had to strain to hear the whispered words. “She was going to sacrifice herself to give us a chance to go home.”

As disturbing as that knowledge was, it didn’t surprise him. “It’s who she is.” He ran the backs of his fingers over Terra’s cheek.

“When they came – the batarians – and we were subjected to…horrible things…, we began to lose hope. Many succumbed, their minds dying inside them, leaving only the shells. It would have been all our fates. Coming to your Citadel was…remarkable. So many different faces, not like the batarians. There was hope there. Then I touched Terra, and she was…like us _and_ like them; gentle _and_ fierce. It was the first time I understood that fierceness could be used not only to hurt, but to protect. Terra protects. She became our hope. But I wish that I had been braver on your Citadel. I was too scared to defy the Mast- the batarians. I failed to help her.”

“You did help her. You saved my son’s life. You gave me awareness of what was happening. You _did_ defy them, Zaliesh. Thank you.”

Tears fell down Zaliesh’s translucent face. “You are wonderful people. The Shanti are honoured to know you.”

The door opened behind Kaidan, saving him from trying to find a response to that, and he turned to see Chakwas returning with Hackett.

“Kaidan. Go and get some food and rest,” ordered Chakwas. “I’ll alert you the minute she wakes.”

Knowing better than to try to argue with Chakwas, Kaidan stood, making way for Hackett. “You won’t need to,” he said with certainty. “I’ll know.”

Hackett gave him a brief hug that conveyed his gratitude, and took Kaidan’s place at Terra’s side. You didn’t need to be prothean, shanti or have thorian spores to be able to communicate some things.

Walking out, Kaidan felt a little lost in the empty Mess. He grabbed some energy bars and sat at the table, but couldn’t find the appetite for food just yet, so he got up and put them back. Aimless, he wondered whether he should just make himself eat, but then it occurred to him that there were some people who would want to know Terra was okay, so Kaidan headed up to the war room with renewed purpose.

He’d start with his parents, then Liara and Wrex. After that, he should probably get some idea as to where the Shanti belonged. As much as he wanted to head home, the last thing the Shanti needed was to become the Citadel media’s next hot topic. They’d been through enough. Terra would want them treated right, and he’d be damned if he didn’t aim to do just that by taking them home. The delay would also give Terra a little more time to heal. They had to be sure she was well enough to keep a tight rein on her inner-self before being around the children.

With a sigh, he turned into the main war room to find Garrus in the comm area, signing off with an emotional, relieved Liara. When the steadfast turian noticed Kaidan’s approach, he turned expectantly.

“Is she awake?”

“No. Not yet.” Kaidan actually felt bad for not having a different answer when Garrus deflated in front of him. “I thought I’d let my parents and the others know, but it looks like you had the same idea.”

“Yeah…. To be honest, I needed the distraction. Vega was doing his best to lighten things, but sitting in the lounge, staring into my drink, wasn’t working for me.”

Kaidan was about to respond when he felt something - the breath of fresh air that was his awareness widening – and he gripped Garrus’ arm in his anticipation. “She’s waking.” Then he was hurrying back to the medbay.

“I’ll be calling Wrex,” called out Garrus, and Kaidan noticed the lighter tone.

The elevator seemed frustratingly slow, even though he knew he had time – she was still swimming in and out of consciousness. He hurtled through the opening doors and paused briefly outside medbay to take a breath before entering with a little more composure. “Dr Chakwas. She’s waking up.”

Chakwas looked up from her terminal in surprise, and Hackett stood from the chair beside Terra’s bed to see for himself. When Kaidan closed in, Terra looked as still as when he’d left her, but inside it was different. She was emerging, and the heart monitor proved it as its tempo quickened in reaction to her automatic rush of panic-fuelled adrenaline. In her head, Kaidan could sense she was back on that planet.

Kaidan took the hand that didn’t have an IV in it, then remembering he could do so much more now, he enfolded her within his inner-self. _Easy, Terra. You’re safe. The Shanti, too._ Though her eyes were still closed, she was lucid enough to curl her fingers over his.

 _Kaidan._ His name was whispered through his head on a wave of relief, and he felt her relax.

 _I’m right here._ Tears slipped past her closed lids, some sinking straight into the pillow beneath her cheek, and others needing to take a longer trek over the bridge of her nose before they could join the rest to soak the fabric. Then those eyes slowly opened, revealing the chocolate depths he’d missed.

.

It had been like fighting through tar at first. Memories tried to pull her back – too-fresh memories of laughing batarians, Shanti blossoming in pink sprays, whips dragging away her skin, and a blade slicing deep to plant the seeds of a destroying betrayal. That had nearly worked. She had been so close to pulling the trigger on Kaidan. Until she’d _felt_ him. So warm, so real, so _him_. And he was still here now, holding her tight without even touching her, his thoughts winding through her so soothingly she could only believe. She could feel him holding her hand, and she willed her fingers to feel his skin beneath hers. Safe…. That knowledge created a surge of emotion.

She began to open wet eyes, wanting to see him. At first, it was frustratingly blurred. The fever and meds were coursing through her, interfering with the connections that needed to be made in order for brain and vision to work together. And then the blur formed into something solid. Some _one_ solid.

Kaidan. He was a perfect sight, in front of her as well as around her, and it was wonderful - a welcome distraction from the horrors that lurked at the edge of her mind….

“Hey, Beautiful.” That unique voice was like velvet to her ears. He smiled and Shepard almost couldn’t believe that he was real; that she’d made it through. She felt a little detached from everything externally - except for him. She went to respond, but all she managed was a dry croak. That’s when she felt the mask over her mouth, pushing clean, filtered air into her lungs. “Don’t try to speak.”

Shepard looked into Kaidan’s intently focused whisky-eyes, feeling everything he felt for her and reflecting it back at him, soaking him in and the way her projected feelings had made the corners of his mouth turn up imperceptibly to anyone else but her. She felt giddy – from the meds, from having all of Kaidan in her head. He was everything she already knew him to be, but it was still exhilarating. _I can’t believe you’re here._

“You can thank Traynor,” he vocalised. “She came up with the idea of extending the spores’ communication range by interacting with the rachni.”

_The rachni!?_

“Yeah. That’s a story for another time. But it worked. It’s why I got the spores. I wasn’t willing to subject Rorie to that sort of unknown.”

 _Or to me…._ Kaidan gripped her hand tighter at her thought. _Thank you. And I can’t tell you how much I love you._

 _You_ are _telling me, Terra. I feel all of you. And you’re amazing._ He raised her hand to his lips, kissing the back of her fingers in a way that sent shivers through her – or perhaps it was heightened by what she was picking up from him too -and more of her tears fell.

Someone at her back cleared their throat. “I have a feeling I might be interrupting something.” Chakwas. Shepard went to turn, but the doc stopped her with a firm hand on her shoulder. “No moving. You need to stay off that back.” The hand squeezed gently. “But it’s wonderful to have you with us again, Shepard. Any pain?”

Under the haze, Shepard could only feel some dulled aches, so she gave a slight shake of her head.

“Good. If that changes, let me know.” The hand squeezed her shoulder again, then left.

Then her father stepped closer to Kaidan. “Sweetheart. You have no idea of the mess that’s been going on since you’ve been gone.”

_More long stories?_

Kaidan huffed, wryly. “Oh yeah. A lot more ‘long stories’.”

“Everything went to hell without you,” continued Hackett, and he bent over her. Shepard felt his kiss at her temple. “And now it’s right again.”

“Almost.” Kaidan’s tone, along with the severity on his face, made Shepard furrow her brow in question.

“Wraith,” nodded her father. “We believe this ‘someone’ was pulling the batarians strings, so to speak. Wraith was behind the salarian and krogan mess, and more.”

Her heart ramped up at that reminder of the state of salarian/krogan relations.

“They’re fine now,” added Hackett, his eyes flicking to her heart monitor as it gave away her reaction to that particular information.

“They’ve done you proud, Terra,” grinned Kaidan. “They were the ones to back off from the fight.”

“With a little help from yours truly,” came Garrus’ voice, and Shepard smiled as her beloved turian flung his arms up in surrender to Chakwas’ stern face. “Sorry, but I just couldn’t stay away any longer. That’s my best friend laying there, and I just needed to _see_ she’s okay.”

Of course, Chakwas relented, and Garrus sidled up. “Spirits, Shepard. You look terrible.”

Her laugh worked its way from her throat, dry and breathless, and she gave Kaidan her response.

“She said: ‘terrible is better than dead, so I’m happy with that’.”

“I’m with you on that one,” puffed out Garrus. Then he began to look uncomfortable, like he didn’t know what to say next. “Well… I should let you rest. With permission, Doc, I’ll let the others know she’s awake.”

“Very brief visits only, and one at a time.”

“Got it. I have a feeling the lounge is about to become a battlefield over who goes first, though,” he chuckled. “I’ll check in with you again later, Shepard.” He hesitated, and Shepard felt the urge to give him the hug he looked like he needed. Kaidan let her hand go, and she smiled, reaching out to catch Garrus’. His mandibles flared, and he enclosed her hand with his two. “Things haven’t been the same without you, Shepard.” There was a heavy pause. “I’m sorry I didn’t have your back.” He then winced as his eyes raked over the bandaging covering her itching back.

Shocked by his admission of guilt, Shepard dragged the mask away from her face with her IV’d hand. “This was not your fault.” The crackling words scraped their way up her throat but they knew their importance, and they came out strong. “And I _know_ …you did everything you could. It’s why you’re here on this ship…instead of on the Citadel.”

Garrus slowly nodded in acceptance, gently placed her mask back in place, and returned her hand to rest on the bed. “Don’t worry about me. Rest, Shepard.”

Once Garrus was gone, Hackett moved forward again. “I hate to leave, but I’ve got a fleet in hiatus around the Normandy.” He kissed her again. “This is probably a pointless request, but please do as the Doc tells you, and call me when you’re able.” Hackett then turned to Kaidan, lowering his voice. “I gather you’ll be dropping off your new charges?”

The Shanti. Shepard had instantly known that they were being well looked after, but she hadn’t considered beyond getting them away from the batarians.

Kaidan nodded. “I imagine they’ll be eager to return to normality, but I worry about leaving them after such a huge upheaval. Dealing with something like this is hard enough for civilians _aware_ of the depravities others can inflict. The Shanti were naïve to the very _concept_ of hurting another being. I’m not sure how they’ll handle this psychologically. But I’m also uncertain as to whether they should be subjected to more outside influences, either. First contact should never have been made with these people in the first place.”

Wanting to kiss Kaidan for his concern, Shepard would have sent it to him were it not for the grogginess that was proving hard to ignore now. Her body was exhausted, and she’d been awake for too long it seemed. It was frustrating as hell, but her eyes were closing against her wishes.

_Don’t fight it, Terra._

Even in her drowsy state, she smiled at her husband’s voice in her head. _It’s not in my DNA_ , she managed to retort _._

Kaidan’s soft laughter was external as well as internal, and despite her resistance it carried her away like a lullaby.

.

He missed her instantly as she lost the battle, but Kaidan wouldn’t complain that she was resting. Then he realised he had started laughing right in the middle of his conversation with Hackett, and the grin dropped from his face as he re-focused on his father-in-law. “Uh…sorry, Stephen.” He cleared his throat. “I got a little distracted.”

Thankfully, Hackett just looked amused. “I can only imagine how astonishing it must be.” Kaidan saw Hackett’s longing glance at Terra’s still form. “That connection she and the children share…. I admit I envy you.”

“I know that feeling,” nodded Kaidan, his own gaze drawn back to his wife like they weren’t created for any other reason than to adore her. “I can’t say it isn’t everything I imagined it to be and more.”

“Hm…. Makes me want to go speak with Dr Solus.” Then Hackett quietly laughed at the horror that must have crept onto Kaidan’s face at the thought of his father-in-law in his head. “Relax, Kaidan. I’m content with knowing I can call them. Will you need any assistance in transferring the Shanti to their home planet?”

“Once we’ve worked out where that is, you mean? I imagine we can handle it. I’d like to keep things as calm and undisruptive for them as is possible from here on out. Unfamiliar faces might unsettle them.”

“Any ideas on just how you might locate their home-world? Shantou, was it? To my knowledge, there’s no known planet with such a name, though there’s a good chance we might know it by a different designation. It would have to be a recently discovered planet, which had yet to be explored.”

“It’s a long-shot, but maybe they could recognise star constellations. Something to give us some idea where to look. I’ll have Zaliesh take a look at the galaxy map when she’s well enough.”

“Please. I can try.”

They both turned to the whispery voice. Zaliesh had left her bed, and was stood next to Terra’s.

“Doc?” checked Kaidan.

Chakwas chewed on her answer. “I understand your desire to find your home. I’ll allow it, but you must report in to me frequently.”

“As you wish,” bowed Zaliesh.

“None of that,” Chakwas admonished, gently. “Do it because I request it as someone who knows what’s best for your recovery, not because you’re submitting to my order.”

“I…understand.”

“And I know your people don’t wear clothing, but it may draw less attention if you put something on.” Chakwas handed her a gown used for her patients. “Your choice,” she emphasised. “I’ll let you know if your daughter wakes.”

“Thank you for your kindness,” smiled Zaliesh, donning the gown.

“You’re very welcome.”

“I’ll take you to the map,” said Kaidan. He suspected Zaliesh was unprepared for the task she had ahead of her. Her galaxy had extended no further than the skies of her world before the batarians, and he was reasonably sure, even now, she had no idea of the vastness that surrounded them.

As he began to lead Zaliesh towards the exit, with Hackett following behind, the medbay doors slid aside ahead of them. Had Kaidan have made a bet as to who would be first to see Terra, he’d have won. Joker. “Sorry, Joker, but she’s fallen asleep.”

“Ah, come on!” groaned Joker. The pilot then sighed. “I’ll wait. It’s safer in here anyway. Pretty sure Jack was about to kill me.”

Looking back at Terra, Kaidan smiled. Normality was returning.

**-o-O-o-**


	24. Chapter 24

“I _knew_ you’d find mommy!”

The happy little face of his daughter filled the screen in front of Kaidan as he sat at the cabin’s desk and it never failed to make him miss her all the more. This was a call he’d looked forward to, and also dreaded, hence the hours he’d let pass with only a message to his parents that the worry was over.

“You can come home now!”

And there it was. The reason he’d hesitated before facing Rorie. “I’m sorry, honey, but we’re going to be away for a little bit longer.” Rorie’s smile began to fade and it made Kaidan feel like the worst father in the world. “You see, we found lots of other people too, and we’re trying to help them find their way home.”

“They don’t know where they live?” she said, sceptically.

“They know what it looks like, but they don’t know where their planet is, amongst all the many, many out here in the galaxy.”

“Oh…. That’s sad.”

“Yes, it is, and we need to do some searching to see if we can help them find it. Do you understand?”

“Uh huh. You should ask Auntie Edi. She knows where _everything_ is. She showed me where Grandma and Grandpa Lenko live when they’re not with _me_.”

“That’s a good idea. I’ll get Edi right on it.”

She beamed at that. “May I speak to mommy now?”

Kaidan swallowed; there was another ‘asshole dad’ moment on the horizon. “It’ll have to be another time, honey. She’s not very well, so she’s sleeping. Dr Chakwas is looking after her to help her get better quickly.”

This time there was a deeply furrowed brow. “Is it bad? Mommy never goes to Auntie Karin unless it’s bad.”

Kaidan pressed his lips together at the perceptiveness of his daughter. “Nothing for you to worry about, but even mommy has to do what she’s told when the doctor says she has to rest.”

That made Rorie giggle, and Kaidan was relieved…until the pout surfaced. “But I miss mommy.”

“I know you do, honey, and we’ll be back with you just as soon as we can, I promise.”

“’Kay,” she sighed out.

“I’ll get mommy to call you when she’s well enough, alright?”

“Alright. Will you read me a story tonight?”

“That, I can do,” Kaidan smiled. “I love you. Give Nate a kiss for me, and I’ll call you at bedtime.”

 

 

“Love you!”

Waiting until Rorie had ended the connection, Kaidan leaned back in the chair. In the silence, he had time to contemplate the search for Shantou. And it wasn’t going well.

Zaliesh had stood wide-eyed at the galaxy map, stunned at the myriad of systems and stars, and when he’d asked her to jot down what constellations she could remember, she’d stared at the datapad he’d handed her until Kaidan had realised, to his chagrin, that she had no idea how to use it. This was a Shanti. So Kaidan had tried a different tactic, and suggested she ‘show’ him. With a single touch, he was given a view of Shantou’s night sky – if you could call it that. With two distant suns, at its darkest it was merely an orange dusk, and that created problems. Though there were a few of the brightest stars visible, it wasn’t enough to be able to create even one true constellation, and without that they’d be unable to search their databanks.

Sending Traynor to escort Zaliesh back to her daughter, Kaidan was reduced to plotting what he’d seen on a datapad and adding their positions in relation to the suns with as much accuracy as he could manage. Then he’d left it to Edi to run the possibilities. In seconds, Edi had concluded that there were only three planets that had celestial vistas even remotely close to Shantou’s, and all were incapable of sustaining humanoid life.

He’d hoped that Garrus and the others would turn up something of use from the base, but all they’d come back with were severe faces after stumbling upon the blood-splattered room where Terra had been kept. Since then he’d also contacted Liara to see if she had any leads on a newly-discovered planet, and had even taken to scouring the extranet for rumours himself. So far, nothing.

Wherever Shantou was, it was apparently undiscovered until the batarians came. Now he would have to go tell Zaliesh he had no idea where her home-world was, and it felt like bitter failure on his part. The Shanti _and_ Terra needed him to pull through on this. There _had_ to be a way to locate it, it was just that his tired brain wasn’t co-operating.

An ache was forming behind his eyes, and his stomach cramped painfully – his body’s way of telling him it needed food and sleep. The fatigue weighed down his limbs as he forced himself up and into the elevator, only the thought of being that little bit closer to Terra keeping him going.

On the crew deck, the sounds of those off-duty enjoying themselves in the lounge reached Kaidan’s ears. It was the first time he’d heard their laughter since Normandy had left dock without Terra, and without Rorie being on board. It reminded him how far they’d all come, triumphing in the face of hopelessness, and he re-evaluated the current situation: the search for Shantou had experienced a set-back, but they’d find a way. It’s what this unique group of people did best.

Looking at the blacked-out windows of the medbay, Kaidan fought back his urge to go sit by Terra’s side. It was hard to believe over two days had passed since they’d brought her aboard. She’d woken several times while he’d been busy with his fruitless search, and yet he’d also been there with her, reassuring her in her daze until she was alert enough to be aware of her latest visitor. Only when he was certain that she knew she wasn’t alone did he withdraw to the edge of her mind, unobtrusive even though she left herself open to him.

Being able to be there for her while still working made Kaidan very happy, and he truly appreciated the spores ‘gift’.

Feeling more positive now, Kaidan gave in to his body’s demand for food, and began to prepare a meal which was long overdue. His stomach growled in agreement. Once he’d eaten, he would try to lay his head down and switch off for a bit, though it would be easier said than done. It wasn’t as easy when he didn’t have Terra’s warmth beside him. Then again, the way he felt right now, he just might fall face first into his plate.

-o-O-o-

When Shepard woke, her eyes flung open, answering her need to know for sure that she hadn’t been dreaming and that she wasn’t back in that cell or jungle. The medbay surrounding her was actually a comfort, and for the first time it felt more like she’d woken from a natural sleep than a drugged and fever-filled unconsciousness. Whatever Chakwas had been giving her was making her feel more human at last.

She looked around the room to find all the beds vacant of Shanti, and only Chakwas at her usual place. No Joker, Garrus, James, Jack, or Cortez watching over her this time, and no Zaliesh hovering at her side with gratitude. She smiled. But she wasn’t alone. As he had been every time she’d woken before, Kaidan was there at her periphery, waiting to be invited. She didn’t hesitate to let him in – he helped to keep back the horrors dwelling there - loving the feel of him as though it was his very soul caressing over hers.

_Hey, Beautiful. I’ll be right there._

Her body reacted to his voice the way it always did, and that pleased her. She’d been worried that something illogical would reside within her after the cruel attempts by Balak to poison her thoughts of Kaidan. She shut that avenue of thought down and focused on her husband, only to find there was a sluggishness there that alarmed her. _You’re running on empty. Go eat and sleep first._

_I’m in the Mess now, but I can get something in a minute._

_Kaidan, I can wait._

_Maybe_ I _can’t._

She laughed, though it was muffled by the mask. She’d missed him, and her children, and that sent a longing through her. _I love you, and I want you to take care of yourself. Besides, you’ll never live it down if you faint,_ she ribbed _._ His amusement vibrated through her.

 _Hey, tough marines who are also spectres, don’t ‘faint’, we black out – hard._ Shepard loved that she could lay here and be with him at the same time, listening to him play along. _But you’re right, I’d have to move to a different galaxy to escape the constant taunts. So, I won’t be long._

He retreated a little as he concentrated on what he was doing, but Kaidan was still a warm presence, and it made her smile stupidly.

“That’s going to take some getting used to,” said Chakwas as she ran yet another scan over her.

Shepard pulled down the mask so she could speak. “Starting to look a little crazy, am I?” she answered, wryly, her voice sounding like those scratchy old vinyl records her ancestors once used for audio.

“At least your sense of humour’s intact.”

“Indeed. Would you mind clearing the windows?”

Chakwas started over towards her desk with a restrained smile. “I’m guessing there’s a certain spectre on the other side.” The doc pressed the button to end the black-out and both she and the two salarians (who had apparently been trying to peer in from the other side) jumped back with a yelp.

It was funniest thing Shepard had seen in some time, and she was in stitches. It was painful, but she didn’t care; it felt so good to be able to really laugh. Behind the recovering salarians was Kaidan at the table, spluttering over his plate as he too enjoyed the hilarity of it.

“Did you and Kaidan do that on purpose?” accused Chakwas, and Shepard raised a single hand in surrender.

“I swear, we didn’t!” Her laughter then turned to coughing as it created a tickle in her throat, and the unwanted force pulled at her back and abdomen.

Chakwas quickly returned to monitor her. “Careful, Shepard. It’s best not to put strain on your lungs, or your injuries.”

“Is she okay!?”

Shepard groaned as Kaidan rushed in.

“She’ll be fine,” reassured Chakwas.

“Stop worrying,” Shepard rasped, desperately trying to resist the tickle. To her relief, it ceased.

“Right. Simple,” Kaidan said with sarcasm, strolling towards her in a way that she found way too sexy considering her state. He was struggling to keep the grin off his handsome face, aware of her where her mind had gone. _Behave. You’re healing._

She rolled her eyes. _Exactly. I’m not dead._

To her delight, he laughed. “You’re such a bad patient.” Arriving at her bedside, he put the mask back in place, while Chakwas moved around the bed.

“It’s time to re-treat your back, Shepard.” That statement from the doc quickly wiped Shepard’s wayward thoughts away. It was a process that set her teeth on edge – the skin so sensitive and the memories so strong….

Kaidan stroked his hand down her arm and caught her hand, lacing his fingers with hers in a deliberate move to distract her. _Concentrate on me._

_But you told me to behave…._

He laughed again, and she felt him around her, his weariness sneaking in with it.

_You’ve been pushing yourself too hard._

Before she could get his response, Chakwas lowered the head of the bed, and Terra carefully turned onto her front, the pressure on her abdomen causing a slight ache. “This is going to take a couple of hours. Would you prefer to be sedated?” Chakwas asked gently, her hand on Shepard’s shoulder.

The residual memories of the whip striking her skin crawled over her, and she fought down the shiver. Chakwas’ ministrations wouldn’t come close to that awful agony inflicted upon her, and Kaidan’s tightening hand over hers was an added balm. “I can deal with it.”

“Very well. We’ve been attacking the infection aggressively, and your body’s been responding well to it. This time, I’ll be sealing the wounds, so this will be the last invasive procedure. I’ll numb the area before I get to work.”

“Sounds good.”

The first touches made her heart beat hard, no matter how dulled they were by the anaesthetic, and how safe Kaidan was making her feel.

Chakwas pulled back. “Shepard-“

“No, it’s okay. I’m okay. Really. Keep going.” The doc did so. But despite her previous rationale, Shepard feel intensely sick.

Kaidan ran his free hand over her hair, and his face lowered so she could see into those honeyed-orbs, and then he was pushing through the nausea, urging her to give herself over to him completely. It started like the ‘head-cuddle’ she shared with the kids - the same he’d used to break through to her in her darkest moment – but then it was so much more. More than the warmth of love and comfort. It took her breath away as she was absorbed into him, and she was barely aware that she could no longer feel her body, or Chakwas’ work at her back as they explored each other. The closest thing she could liken it to was Liara’s mind-meld, but with far more meaning and emotion. It was all of Kaidan, and it thrilled her to think just what they might be capable of together once they were alone. That thought bloomed, and she knew Kaidan was feeling it too….

“All done.”

Somehow, those two hours had passed, and Chakwas’ voice hauled them both back to reality so fast that it made Shepard’s head spin, and Kaidan steadied himself on the edge of the bed.

“Are you alright, Kaidan?” frowned Chakwas, and she immediately began to scan him.

“Yeah. I…” he trailed off, his eyes fixed on Shepard’s in such a way that it sent a tingling heat all the way down to her toes. _That was pretty intense._

 _And you told_ me _to behave._ Shepard couldn’t stop the smirk as she moved back to her side.

“Am I interrupting something?” Chakwas asked, knowingly.

“If only.” Shepard couldn’t help herself, enjoying the way his heated gaze gave way to his embarrassment, while the doc’s brow rose again.

“I’m just a little tired, doc,” explained Kaidan. “Got a slight headache, too. I should probably finish my meal and get some shut-eye.” He lifted Shepard’s hand still clasped in his and kissed her fingers, looking at her with earnest. “If you don’t need me.”

Shepard wished she could tug him down and make him stay with her. _I always need you._

Again, she enjoyed the tremor of his amusement. _I think you mean: want._

 _Need. Want. It’s all the same around_ you _, General,_ she teased.

“Judging from these readings, I’m going to make it doctor’s orders,” stated Chakwas. “Why on Earth have you neglected yourself?” she admonished.

Shepard watched his eyes drop and felt the frustrated disappointment and guilt tug at him, and she knew it was about Zaliesh’s home-world. _You can’t find it?_

He gave a single solemn nod. “I haven’t told Zaliesh yet, but Shantou isn’t on any map we have, and its visible stars don’t match anything in our known systems. I’m not giving up,” he added, firmly, “but, in truth, I have no idea where to go from here.”

Shepard pulled the mask away again with a frown. “It has to be discovered. Zaliesh said the batarians had _known_ they were there.”

“Terra, we’ve looked. Edi’s searched. There’s nothing. We have to consider that maybe the batarians simply stumbled upon the Shanti in some uncharted expanse, and had been watching them from a distance for a while before they started taking them as slaves.”

Shepard considered that, but it didn’t feel right. Then she remembered what Balak had said to her. “No. Balak said that ‘someone’ – I assume the one you’ve named as Wraith – gave him the means to get to me. Someone with plenty of credits and _information_ to make him powerful. The batarians _came_ to Shantou for the Shanti. This wasn’t some chance encounter. That ‘information’ had to be the location of Shantou and its unique people.”

Kaidan sat on the edge of her bed in thought. “So it comes back to identifying Wraith. And so far we’ve had little luck in that department. Somehow Wraith’s communications are untraceable. Even Edi can’t access them.”

Chewing on that frustrating point, Shepard could feel her own head beginning to pound, knocking on the inside of her skull to tell her it really wasn’t ready for solving this problem.

 _I shouldn’t have brought it up_ , said Kaidan, softly, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. _Not now. Not here._

“No more of this now,” said Chakwas, like she was reading Kaidan’s thoughts. “You, go eat something substantial, then come back here,” she ordered Kaidan. “If your headache hasn’t improved, I’ll give you a little something to ease it and help you sleep. No arguments.”

“You won’t get any,” conceded Kaidan, backing away. _Back soon,_ he promised.

Shepard smiled. He wouldn’t be leaving her at all – not really – and the return smile he flung her over his shoulder before the medbay doors closed behind him, acknowledged that. Still, he had pulled back like a silent companion, and she began to ponder the problem of how to find one planet amidst the vastness of space.

“Shepard,” came Chakwas’ warning. “You’re supposed to be resting, not contemplating the next big issue. You’re off-duty. Switch off, or I _will_ sedate you.”

“I- But- There is no way you can tell what I’m thinking!”

Chakwas stood there, her hands on her hips and ‘that’ look on her face. “Admiral Shepard. How long have I known you?”

“Too long, it seems,” Shepard grumbled.

“Would you like something to read? And no, it won’t be the latest reports,” she added, instantly shooting down Shepard’s hopes. “I’ve got a good fiction you might like.”

“How can fiction compare to what _we’ve_ lived through?”

“Ah, but have you ever wondered what it would be like if things had gone a little differently? This story’s based on you and the Normandy crews, with a whole lot of poetic license taken by the asari author.” Chakwas handed her a datapad.

“Seriously?” Shepard looked at the doctor like she’d just passed her the latest copy of Fornax magazine.

“Absolutely. In this version, you’re more like the pirate queen of the Alliance, ruthlessly taking down the enemy through any means you see fit. It’s rather amusing. Particularly the torrid affairs you have.”

“Torrid affairs!?”

“Oh yes. You have a few dalliances along the way before being embroiled in a love-triangle no less. Or perhaps I should say _lust_ -triangle.”

“Oh my God!” Appalled that she was a little intrigued, Shepard looked between the datapad and Chakwas.

“It’s utter nonsense, but wonderfully entertaining when you need a distraction. Try it.” With that, Chakwas sat back at her desk, leaving Shepard staring at the datapad in her hand.

Well…it was already distracting….

-o-O-o-

The night cycle had come quickly for Kaidan. He’d barely woken to the empty cabin when Edi had helpfully reminded him it was an hour before Rorie’s bed-time. Feeling Terra’s restlessness had told him she was most certainly awake and not appreciating her recuperation period. With a smile already on his face at the colourful cursing from his wife, Kaidan wondered if he might be able to make both his girls very happy.

Entering the medbay with his thoughts carefully guarded so as not to give anything away, Kaidan saw Terra in the process of sitting up, the mask and IV line discarded beside her.

“Whoa! What do you think you’re doing!?”

“Reminding my legs they have a purpose.”

He hated the way her voice sounded like the worst sore throat in the galaxy, and it made him question whether to ask her about calling Rorie after all. “You can’t get out of bed. No way has Chakwas cleared you.”

“Chakwas nipped out, so if I’m quick, I’ll be outta here before she gets back.”

“For all of two minutes until she hunts you down? Now that’s suicidal.”

Shepard sighed so heavily, he felt her melancholy. No, wait… he really was feeling it. She was wide open to him, hiding nothing. “I need to call my babies, Kaidan. I miss them, and I need to see them.”

“I get that,” he answered, softly, brushing back hair that was limp and lifeless. “In fact I was coming to see if you wanted to call Rorie. She was eager to speak with you, and she wanted a bedtime story from me, so I thought we could combine the two.”

The change in her was wonderful. “Sounds great.”

“But we can do it from your bed, Terra.”

“And I’m willing to do that… but not looking like this. My voice I can’t do anything about, but the rest of me is somewhat fixable at least.” She raked her fingers impatiently through her hair. “I feel horrible, and I can only imagine what I look like.”

“You’re as beautiful as ever.” Kaidan meant it, and knew she’d feel his sincerity.

Terra reached up and stroked her hand down his cheek. “You’re biased.”

“True. And I’m pretty sure our children will be, too.” He captured her hand as it dropped onto his chest, registering her fear that her very image on a screen might frighten or worry their kids. “Let me talk to Chakwas; make sure that you won’t be risking your health.”

“No need.”

They both looked towards the medbay entrance where Chakwas stood with an expression that told Kaidan she’d heard. The doctor closed the distance without another word, opened up her omnitool and performed another scan. Then she closed it and looked Terra straight in the eye. “A brief shower only – the moist air isn’t what you need right now, but I understand your need. Then call those gorgeous children, do whatever else you need to do to feel better, so long as it doesn’t involve any exertion of any kind. Kaidan, I’ll leave that to you to judge and enforce. You have one hour before I expect you back in that bed without complaint, Admiral.”

Terra gingerly slid off the bed, and Kaidan was ready to grab her when she wavered unsteadily. Inside, she was spinning, and he had to pull back a little so it didn’t make him feel just as dizzy. The moment she got it under control, he knew, releasing her so she could prove to herself and Chakwas that she was capable without his aid. Then she reached out to hug Chakwas. “Thank you, Karin.”

The elder woman would have hugged her back, her arms halfway through the motion before she checked herself and held Terra’s shoulders so she didn’t hurt her. “Don’t think you have me wrapped round your little finger, young lady. I expect full adherence, and promptness.”

Kaidan wasn’t fooled by that stern look and tone any more than Terra was.

Stepping back with a smile, Terra gave Chakwas a salute that looked sloppy but was as much as she could manage. “Yes, Ma’am.”

Failing to hide her own smile, Chakwas started clearing the discarded IV line with a shake of her head.

Terra took his hand, and Kaidan treasured it as they made their way slowly out. There was something very cathartic to having her up and by his side.

As they rounded the corner to the elevator, a few of their friends happened to emerge from the lounge – it appeared they’d turned their down-time into an epic poker match, and James had cashed in – but Kaidan surreptitiously raised his free hand to indicate they should refrain from holding Terra up long.

“Hey Shepard,” cheered Jack. “Making a run for it already?”

“Not so much a run as a slow walk,” returned Terra.

“Risking the doc’s wrath? You’re braver than I am, Lola,” Vega teased.

“Tell me something I don’t already know, James.”

The others were laughing as the elevator doors opened, but Terra was in step with him as they entered the cab.

“You walked into that one Mr Vega,” Cortez was laughing, and Terra had a warm smile on her face as the doors closed on them.

“Home,” she breathed out, sinking into Kaidan’s side. He wanted to hold her close, but he was conscious of her back, just as Chakwas was. The wounds may be sealed, but they were raw in more ways than physically, and the last thing he wanted was to cause her one iota of pain or discomfort. _It’s okay. It’s still kinda numb._

Placing his arms gently around her, Kaidan revelled in having her in his arms again. “We’re all feeling like we’ve come home again. It wasn’t the same without you.”

“Sweet-talker.” Her head rested on his chest, and Kaidan would have happily stayed that way, but the doors slid open again, and he found an urge to get her back within their space – a space which had been a lonely void with her absence.

She stopped in the middle of the floor, looking around as though seeing it for the first time, and he felt the emotion welling up in her before it revealed itself on her beautiful face.

“Terra?”

“I was certain I’d never get off that planet alive.”

Kaidan cradled her face between his hands and kissed her chastely, letting his forehead rest against hers. “I know. I felt it.”

Blinking back tears, Terra gave a deep, crackling breath. She was steeling herself, withdrawing that vulnerable part of herself from his view.

_Don’t avoid it, Terra._

_I won’t. Just…not now._ She kissed him, her lips tempting him with their tenderness, and he had to pull away.

“Shower.”

She sighed, and he was right with her on that. “Right. I’m on a timer.”

Letting her go, Kaidan went into the bathroom and switched on the shower while she slipped off the gown she’d nabbed. When his eyes took their destined path, as they always did when she was bare before him, he was struck by the fragility he saw there. She had always been lithe – not a trace of fat on her – but always curvy. Some of that seemed stripped away. Or maybe it was just that his eyes were drawn to the dips between her bruised ribs. That anger he’d felt before, ignited again. _They should never have touched you. I should never have let that bastard walk away._ Though he’d kept his guilt to himself, it had spilled into his words, and Terra hugged him.

“No regrets. You did your job and saved lives. What that bastard chose to do afterwards is not your fault.”

His fingertips skimmed the ragged surface of Terra’s back. The price she’d had to pay. “I should have led a mission to find him. I had the Shadow Broker at hand for Christ’s Sakes! Yet I just forgot about him. Instead, I was still wallowing in my own self-pity.” He then scoffed at himself as he caught her look. “Okay, freak-out over.”

“He wasn’t alone, remember. If not him, then Wraith would have found one of the others with enough resentment to lead the rest.”

That truth soothed him. “You’re right. Go on. In you get.” He ushered her through the door, the horrid criss-cross of red lines that ruined her back, demanding his attention. He turned away, the sight paining him. He’d have swapped places if he could.

Picking up the gown from the floor, Kaidan was startled by the intense fear that suddenly seized Terra – a fear he felt like he’d jumped into ice with no environment suit - before she closed him out of her head completely, and he dashed back into the bathroom.

She was standing in front of the shower, frozen to the spot, and visibly shaking.

“Terra, what’s wrong?” And then he understood. Like a slap in the face, he realised she was reacting to the water. Gently, he turned her to face him.

“I can’t!“ she gasped, her face panicked, and her hands reaching to grip his shirt.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to do this now.”

“Yes, I do!” Tears fell in silent sorrow. “I need to do this. I _want_ to! But I… I can’t! Why can’t I do it?”

His heart tearing open inside his chest, Kaidan held her shuddering body tightly to him. Pressing his forehead to hers, their noses touching, Kaidan gave her a light kiss. “You can do anything, Terra. But you don’t have to do it alone. Let me in.” She did, without hesitation.

Her head was a mess. The extreme fear was debilitating her, and Kaidan could feel her re-living every horrific moment she’d suffered and drowned. In response, Kaidan surrounded her with himself in every way possible, lifting her away from those torturous thoughts until she could only focus on him. He loved being this united with her; able to sense everything she was feeling, and his effect on her; to know her so absolutely. But he couldn’t be distracted with that now. It took effort, but he concentrated on his task: to get Terra through this. _Trust me._

With that one word he walked her backwards, not letting up on the external or internal embrace he held her in.

When the water first met the skin on her back, her panic almost severed his contact, her fingers digging into him like he was all that stopped her from falling under, and her lips shivering against his. But he held firm, pushing back her re-surging memories of drowning and tearing skin. _You’re safe with me. I will never let anything harm you. I love you, Terra._ She broke against him, and it brought tears to his own eyes to feel her like that. Though her eyes closed tight and she seemed to be holding her breath, she didn’t resist as he took her another step backwards.

The water cascaded over her bare shoulders, wetting the front of his clothes, but he didn’t stop. Another step, and they were both beneath the warm water, and though she trembled terribly in his arms, her head was still with him, clutching at his own strength to keep herself from fleeing from the water that fell over her face. Kaidan kissed her. _You’re safe. Breathe._

Slowly, her eyes opened. The fear was still there, but so was her trust in him, and she let out the breath she had been holding. It was a warm breeze over his lips, and when she inhaled again, it was _his_ air she was taking in.

 _You’re doing it._ Conscious of Chakwas’ order, Kaidan knew Terra shouldn’t stay in this humidity much longer. “I’m not going anywhere, but we need to get you out of here.”

She was still shuddering, but Terra nodded, her grip loosening. Reaching around her, Kaidan grabbed the liquid soap and shampoo, handing her the former. She slowly twirled, placing her back to him, her breathing only quickening a little as she stood under the stream without him.

While she washed her body with those shaking hands, Kaidan dealt with her hair, massaging the suds against her scalp to create a lather and hoping she’d find some relaxation in it. And it was working.

Each breath she took was a little stronger, each circle she made with her hands over her skin was a little smoother as the shaking subsided. Finally, she squeezed some soap into the palm he offered, and Kaidan gently used it over her back, staying in-tune with her the whole time so he could tell when an area was especially sensitive.

Then it was done, and he kissed the side of her face as he turned off the shower, then grabbed the towel, wrapping it around her from behind. She turned in his arms, and sank against him with a sigh. Inside, Kaidan felt her relief and contentment. She felt better. Physically and more. A demon had been faced. It was still to be slain, but it was proven to be mortal.

“Thank you,” she breathed out. There was an embarrassment there at a phobia that felt stupid to her, but the cause of it was something very real, and he reminded her of that. She was braver than most could be so soon after such treatment.

“I’m proud of you.”

The shiver at the core of her was chased away with a heat that ignited Kaidan’s own. So tempting…. With effort, Kaidan stepped back. They both knew she wasn’t ready for anything more. This was just a very pleasant way to help her stay away from the dark places until she was better equipped to deal with them, and Kaidan was happy to oblige. “You need to stop thinking like that. Out of this bathroom, Beautiful.”

“Spoil-sport,” she pouted.

Kaidan laughed as he began to strip out of his soaked clothes. “Chakwas said no exertion. And Rorie will be expecting that story sooner rather than later.”

Mention of Rorie refocused her, and she exited the bathroom. From the bathroom doorway, Kaidan watched Terra make her way tentatively down the steps, while he finished peeling off his wet underwear. She was weak, and it exuded from her. His tough soldier was physically drained, but she was still fighting. He’d never loved her more.

Picking up on that, Terra smiled at him over her shoulder and he returned it. Drying himself off, he joined her on the lower level to help her into the dressing gown she’d pulled out of the closet, then re-dressed in his uniform as she ran a brush through her hair.

With a harsh cough, she almost collapsed onto the bed, her breathing heavy, and Kaidan settled beside her. “You’re sure you’re up to this?”

“This is for Rorie. Try to stop me.”

He’d already known the answer even without being in her head. Inside, her determination was an impenetrable aura that surrounded her every thought, and Kaidan happily opened his omnitool to make the call.

When it was answered by not one, but _both_ of those sweet faces they loved, Terra was almost euphoric inside, and it matched Kaidan’s own as they were rewarded with Nate’s excited squeal and Rorie’s happy exclaim.

“Mommy!”

**-o-O-o-**


	25. Chapter 25

**-o-O-o-**

Kaidan stood on the platform overlooking the galaxy map. It was easy to become absorbed in the beauty of the galaxy even in holographic form, and he stared at that familiar system which was home to the Citadel. Normandy was on the move at last, through necessity rather than anything else. Food and medical supplies were getting low with the strain of so many aboard, and the Shanti weren’t the only ones whose lives had been disrupted by the machinations of Wraith.

Though Kaidan couldn’t complain about the destination given who awaited them there, he wished it was by way of Shantou.

A few of its residents were meandering around the ship, but most were huddled together in the observation room, seeming to need the comfort of their proximity with one another, and they rarely ventured out in anything less than a small group. Kaidan wasn’t sure if that was normal for them, or a sign of their trauma. He should ask Chakwas’ opinion on it. And Terra’s.

She was always with him now – a fresh, scented breeze filling him with her exquisite essence. Only sleep parted her from him, and then he would feel her absence keenly.

But not now. Now she was there… though not completely. Suspicious. Kaidan couldn’t help the small smile. In the space of another day’s cycle, Chakwas had been happy to take her off the oxygen and remove the IV, though she was still on a heavy concoction of meds. That of course meant Terra was no longer ‘tied’ to the bed, and Kaidan had predicted her flight was inevitable as soon as Chakwas turned her back. _Terra...What are you up to?_

The pause spoke volumes. _Nothing._

She was teasing him. There was little she could hide from him now without pushing him out, and that would just tell him she was definitely up to something she shouldn’t be.

Traynor handed him a datapad, and he looked it over while heading into the elevator. _You’re not in the medbay, are you?_

She deliberately sent him a sensation that could only be defined as an exasperated sigh and an eye-roll. At least, that was the image his mind interpreted it into – along with the tug at the corner of her mouth and the mischievous sparkle in her eye.

_I’m with Zaliesh and the other Shanti. I wanted to explain why we’re unable to get them home straight away._

His head dropped a little at that. _You didn’t need to do that. It was on my agenda._ He would be the first to admit he had been putting it off though, telling himself that if he waited a little longer, just maybe Liara would come through with something.

_And now you don’t have to. Stop blaming yourself. You did all you could, and they know that._

Kaidan shivered with pleasure then, at what he could only describe as her kissing his soul with the barest touch of her lips. _How did you do that?_

 _You felt it?_ From her surprise, it wasn’t something she’d expected him to pick up on. _I don’t know. I just really wanted to. Interesting…._

Her intrigue matched his own, but Kaidan restrained himself, fighting back the arousal she’d evoked and forcing himself to pay attention as he stepped out into the shuttle bay. _Well, I’m about to check in with Cortez, but I expect you to be back in that bed by the time I’m done. And that’s an order._

 _So alpha-male,_ she teased _. Or should that be bossy?_

Laughing as she retreated, Kaidan tapped his head when Cortez looked at him in question.

Steve grinned. “Well, either you’re indicating you’ve gone crazy, or you’re having a conversation with your wife.”

“Who knows, maybe it’s both,” Kaidan joked.

“That’s gotta be… just great,” smiled Steve, a little wistfully. “That connection….”

“Yeah. I’m a lucky man, without a doubt.” Just thinking about it warmed him, and the reality was more than he could have ever have imagined.

“After everything you’ve all been through, you deserve it.”

“Thanks, Steve.” Settling at a lean beside Cortez, Kaidan tried to re-focus on his task, only to groan with the dawning realisation that Terra had never actually acquiesced.

-o-

Shepard had been sat amongst the Shanti when Kaidan had come to the fore, struck by the number squeezed together in the space. Yet it was how they wanted it. Her concerns over their state of minds seemed, for the most part, to be unfounded. Those who were the most withdrawn – the ones who had been so beaten into submission they’d refused to leave with her and the others and had been rescued later by the ground team – were now surrounded by their kind, all touching in silent communication. Zaliesh had reassured her that they were healing as a family, and the strength they had as a community had astounded Shepard. The relationship between each and every one of them was like the one she shared with her own extended family. Who was she to question the power of their love for one another?

Then her father had called to see how she was, and she now stared back at his welcome face on her omnitool in disbelief as he updated her on more of what had been going on while she’d been detained.

“Seriously? Massani’s taken back the Blue Suns?” Shepard was about to step out of the observation room, only to duck back quickly, biting her lip as even that small act felt like she had punished her body. Chakwas was standing right in the Mess talking to one of the crew, and her position made it likely she would be spotted. Shepard had things she needed to do before she was dragged back to that bed.

Her father carried on, oblivious. “ _Apparently, the crafty bastard decided to twist my request into a personal crusade, walked right into their HQ, took out Vosque, and simply let the underlings know he was in charge now_.”

“And they just accepted that?” Shepard couldn’t believe Massani’s antics still hadn’t gotten him killed. The man remained someone she couldn’t quite make her mind over. He cared for little but himself, and she’d refused to work with him. Then he’d been part of a plot that involved abducting Garrus and Rorie. That should have been the nail in his coffin as far as she was concerned, but it was _his_ actions which had prevented Rorie from being taken off the Citadel in the hands of a brutal biotic-hating ex-marine. Massani had even won Rorie over with a damned signed poster of Blasto, which she still treasured.

“ _He dropped Aria’s name. Made it sound like she’d known about Vosque’s plans all along, and that he was there with her blessing_.”

She shook her head, following the logic. “Which Aria will overlook because it makes her appear more all-knowing and therefore powerful, and Zaeed benefits from seeming to be her trusted ally.”

“ _Smart, huh? Predictably, no one within the Blue Suns was stupid enough to want to risk Aria coming down on them for denying Zaeed’s leadership.”_ Her father gave a fond chuckle that sat uneasily in Shepard, but she understood that he had an old bond with the mercenary. _“He’s in his element. I knew he’d find any excuse to avoid retirement_.”

Noticing Chakwas had now turned, embroiled in a conversation with Adams, Shepard nipped from the observation lounge and across to the elevator. “Massani better not think he’s going to get any dispensation from me or the Alliance because of his association with you.”

“ _I’ve warned him of that myself. I think his aim is to take the Blue Suns back in the direction he’d originally intended. Not that it means he’ll stay on the right side of the law, but we should have less run-in’s with them_.”

She bashed the elevator button impatiently, half-expecting Chakwas to show up to catch her just before the doors closed. It didn’t happen, and she breathed. Got away with it a bit longer at least.

“ _What are you to?_ ”

Shepard looked sheepishly back at her dad. She should have known he’d notice. “Avoiding Chakwas.”

He laughed, hard.

“What? No stern words about following doctor’s orders for the sake of my health?”

“ _You do look pale_ ,” he answered, seriously.

“I feel pale,” she admitted. Everything within her felt constantly heavy and slow, her muscles finding it difficult just to hold her upright. Without Kaidan’s solidness giving her some ethereal support, she’d probably be equally weighed down mentally.

“ _I don’t want you to push yourself, but I have to say it’s heartening to see you well enough to be up to your usual tricks.”_

“Funny.” She stepped out on the CIC, giving a small wave to Traynor as she passed her on the way into the war-room.

“ _I have to go. I’ll call again later. And good luck with the fall-out from Karin._ ”

“Thanks,” she responded, dryly. “Bye, dad.” Signing off, her tired arm fell back to her side, but her feet somehow carried on to the QEC.

-o-O-o-

Wrex stood proudly in the Hollows, the other clan leaders gathered once more, with the exception of Thurak, who had the sense to keep his head low, and was no doubt desperately trying to keep his clan from leaving in droves. Clan Jorgal was close to disappearing into the sands – one more casualty of krogan ignorance and battle-lust.

As for Urdnot: they were growing in prestige and in numbers. Everything Wrex had maintained from the start had been proven true, and his voice had weight again.

Yet there was one voice that probably eclipsed his, and she wasn’t even a krogan. There wasn’t a sound in the Hollows as his brethren listened to Shepard. She was praising their restraint, and caution, even in face of attack, and Wrex could see her carefully chosen words reach every one of them.

This was an unexpected boon. She’d only called him to see how things were settling down on Tuchanka, and he’d mentioned the way he’d used her name to help them see sense and buy him time to get the evidence they needed to finally convince his hard-headed people. That’s when she suggested that she should address them, and so prove that his assertions about her absence were true. Only Shepard would see the importance of that.

Her holographic form stood next to him. To those around them she looked strong and powerful, but Wrex knew her shoulders were hunched not braced, her eyes were strained not stern. She was suffering, and yet here she stood anyway. He was proud to call her sister. It was more than the krogan deserved.

-o-

“You’ve proven to the galaxy that the krogan are more than they believe you to be.” Shepard paused, keen to get her announcement out, but wanting to ensure she had their attention. She’d spent many an hour whilst stuck in her bed, conversing with the Council to get their agreement on her vision, and in perfect timing she’d just this second had the nod from them.

“In recognition of this, I have put forward a request with the Council for a new multi-species task force to be assembled, and led by the Spectres. This elite force will be made up of the strongest, most skilled, and diplomatic from each race, and will work as the Spectres see fit, to ensure the continued safety of those within this galaxy. I’m pleased to say that the Council have agreed, and the krogan will be allowed to be a part of that.”

She waited for the gruff noise of their surprise, approval, and celebration subsided. “It will require those selected to work closely with all races, and will therefore be an example of all we can achieve when we work together. Though it will take time to put it all in place, I’m sure you’d like the opportunity to begin considering the best, most amiable, and tolerant amongst you.” There were rumbles of laughter at that. “I look forward to addressing you in the future for your prospective candidates. Thank you for your service. Shepard out.”

Wrex switched her to his private omnitool, and she had to say she’d never quite seen that expression on his face before. “ _What you’ve’ done…. It gives our arena’s new purpose. You’ve given_ us _purpose. To be sentinels._ ”

“It was your idea, remember. I just helped make it a reality.”

“ _You…._ ” He gave up trying to find the right words with a loud exhale.

“Are you speechless, Urdnot Wrex!?” she ribbed him.

“ _Seems so_ ,” he chuckled _. “Thank you, little sister._ ”

Seeing Wrex struggling for words and composure, made her feel emotional too. “Just make sure your krogan are ready for a heavy dose of co-operation,” she warned, lightly.

Wrex laughed that great rumbling laugh of his. “Now that’s going to be a sight to see. Speak with you soon, Shepard.”

His image fizzled out and Shepard turned away to see Kaidan leaning back against the central console, arms folded. That man was sexy personified, and she was automatically drawn across the room to him, letting him know exactly how he made her feel. When his brows quirked a little, she knew he’d gotten the message.

As she’d known they would be, his arms were ready to pull her to him, and she sank into his embrace.

“That was…something amazing I just witnessed,” Kaidan said softly into her ear. That intimate tone worked its way through her, stirring things that wouldn’t be quietened by a body that wasn’t up to par.

“It just made sense to me, after Wraith’s apparent ease at driving wedges between us all again, that there be something more than a single Council that represented our unity with a few disparate Spectres to keep it all in order. I just hope it works.”

“With you driving it forward? It can’t fail. I know for sure that you haven’t left a single krogan on Tuchanka who’d want to let you down. You’ve handed them a challenge.”

“It’ll be a challenge for every race’s chosen. They’ve all got to learn how to get on. For real.”

“But we both know it can be done,” smiled Kaidan. “They just have to look at Normandy’s crew over the years to see that.”

His hands smoothed over the fabric of her uniform, unintentionally trailing a skin-tingling path from her hips to her back. After her desperation to get out of the medbay gown and into normal clothing, she now wished it wasn’t in the way. Equally unfortunately, he was so in-tune with her that he sensed his effect on her and quit with a quiet laugh, his hands raising up in surrender. “Sorry.”

“You’re seriously apologising?”

“It would be cruel to carry on. For you and me both.”

Shepard realised she hadn’t picked up on his desire. Her head felt as heavy as her limbs and it was getting in the way. Letting her head fall to his shoulder, she threaded her fingers through his, enjoying the way his thumbs ran soft circles over her palms.

Kaidan kissed her hair before he spoke into it. “You’ve done too much. Come on. I was meant to be the doc’s messenger.”

“Uh oh.”

“Yeah. Let me see if I remember this right: ‘get your butt back in that bed, or I’ll have you surgically attached to it.’”

Shepard laughed at the non-threat. “She loves me.”

“She does, so ease her concern and do as you’re told.”

“Ugh! Guilt trip!” scowled Shepard.

“I do what I must, Beautiful. Come on.”

The truth was, Shepard was happy to give in this time, and reading that, Kaidan tucked her in close to his side, his arm supporting her in a way that wouldn’t be obvious to the crew. She loved that consideration, and before they exited onto the CIC, Shepard had no choice but to kiss him.

He tasted of coffee and Kaidan, and she wanted more, but the growl from his stomach broke the moment. In protest, there was a soft rumble in Kaidan’s throat when she pulled back.

“Have I mentioned how evil you are, Terra Shepard?”

“Not my fault you’re you, Kaidan Alenko.”

“Hm…. There’s nothing I can respond to that with.”

“I win,” she grinned, ridiculously ecstatic with a simple kiss, while Kaidan laughed, regained his hold and tugged her with him through the doors.

“You know, I should be reprimanding you for working instead of resting. Getting permission from the Council for this new task-force took time.”

“Not like I haven’t had plenty of it. Besides, it gave me a distraction from the images in my head.”

He hesitated then, a frown falling in place.

“Not from that,” she reassured him. Sure it was there, but she was in a safe place, and with Kaidan there with her, nothing could hurt her right now. “I’m talking about the shocking literature Chakwas gave me to pass time with. ‘Based’ on all of _us_.”

“Oh no.” They were in the elevator now, but they waited for Joker who was heading towards them.

“Oh yes. And I read it.”

“Dare I ask?”

“Somehow, Hackett’s not really my father at all. It’s actually Anderson, hence why he so readily gave up his command and ship, punched out a councillor and thereby placing his career at risk, and gave me his apartment.”

“That does make a kind of sense,” commented Joker, joining them in the cab. “Except for your pale skin. Something you want to share, Shepard?”

“Asari authors have very wild imaginations.”

“Ah. And?”

“Asides from various one-night stands throughout the whole story with anyone who happens to sass me, I was embroiled in a torrid relationship with Nassana Dantius.”

“The asari diplomat!?” choked out Kaidan, pressing the button to take them down.

“I killed her mercenary sister for her out of infatuation.”

“So sweet,” smirked Joker.

“Then I find out she was just using me for my ‘Spectre powers’.”

“The bitch.”

“Right. But being Alliance I couldn’t just go and get my revenge without being jailed, so I go rogue, fake my death and join Cerberus, with the agreement I’d lead their forces to take out the Bahak system.”

Joker did a fantastic job of looking appalled. “Now who’s the bitch? Shame on you.”

“Free to do what I want, I hire an assassin to get rid of Dantius, because apparently I’m too busy to kill her myself.”

“At least Thane killing Dantius is right.”

“Then I fall for him in my gratitude, and he becomes my personal assassin, killing anyone I desire.” The doors opened and Joker led the way out.

“Wow. Where does Kaidan come in?”

“During the Reaper wars, by which time I’ve been _forced_ back into the Alliance in return for my freedom, he confesses he’s always wanted me but I never saw him.”

“Unrequited love,” sighed Joker, and Shepard was enjoying watching Kaidan try to keep a straight face.

“So to prove how much he wants me, Kaidan kills off his love rival, Thane, and then Udina because he knows how much I hate the councillor, all during the Citadel coup.”

Kaidan frowned. “Ew. And that worked for you?”

“I was instantly smitten.”

Joker burst into laughter. “Who knew that the way to Shepard’s heart was putting a bullet in someone?”

“There you are!”

Shepard halted in the unimpressed face of Chakwas.

“I’m not happy.”

“Never mind that!” said Kaidan. “What the hell have you been reading!?”

Shepard saved Kaidan from the doc’s withering glare. “I’m sorry. I needed to update Zaliesh-“

“Kaidan would have done that,” stated the Doc.

“And then I thought I should speak to the krogan. Diplomatic relations is vital.” It was a desperate comment that the seasoned doctor wasn’t buying if her face was anything to go by, and to add injury, she could feel Kaidan’s amusement before he could stifle it.

“Not working. Medbay. Now,” ordered Chakwas.

Shepard looked towards the Mess where the crew were gathering for a meal, and she yearned to join them there. “But…” she trailed off, despondently.

Chakwas turned to follow her gaze, paused, then sighed. “Fine. You do need to eat, and I suppose it makes little difference where you are for that. But absolutely _no_ loitering after.”

The grin had a mind of its own as it demonstrated her happiness. “Karin, I love you.”

“Of course you do: I’m giving in. It all changes when I stick to my guns.”

“Come sit next to me, Doc!” cheered James. “I’ll appreciate you whatever. You can tell me all about those guns!”

Chakwas shook her head at Vega’s teasing, but seated herself next to him anyway.

Kaidan’s hand slid to the small of Shepard’s back, not that she needed the pressure to get her moving eagerly forward.

_I always knew how much you loved this time with them._

She smiled at him, pleased she could share it with him. Feeling him pressed close to her back, she revelled in the close contact. Suddenly, her body didn’t feel quite so tired.

Tingling heat instantly raced through her veins, and it was heightened by the reacting desire she could feel in him. Sex was going to be a whole new, spectacular experience…. A quick glance at him as they sat at the table confirmed his skin was flushed.

_Wow, Terra… And I haven’t even shot anyone for you yet._

That cracked her up, and having everyone staring at her, mystified, just made it all the funnier.

“Oh no,” groaned Garrus. “You two are doing that mind-thing, aren’t you? Do I want to know?”

“If it were me, I know what I’d be doing,” smirked Jack, sending James a heated look. “I say go for it, Shepard.”

“At the dinner-table!?” said Joker, horrified. “What is wrong with you people!?”

Kaidan buried his head in his hands with a moan, and though she felt his embarrassment, she also knew he felt her teasing amusement. She bit her lower lip to hold back her laughter. _Forgive me?_

He turned his head to her, his hands falling away, and a soft look on his face as he wrapped his fingers over hers. _There’s nothing to forgive. It’s_ this _depraved lot._

She grinned back.

“Okay, they’re still doing it,” complained Joker. “Subject change, before I puke in my food.”

“So…” started Garrus, ever the one to bring order. “We’re heading back. Feels strange.”

“Especially with the Shanti still on board,” agreed Cortez, as they began to tuck in. “Still, we have no choice.”

“Where are they going to go?” asked James, in concern.

“The Council are providing a refuge for them,” replied Kaidan. “They’re to remain unknown to the general public, and only a carefully selected group will be allowed to interact with them.”

“Damn…. Feels wrong for them to be there, though.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” said Kaidan, and Shepard was right there with him in his disappointment that it was the best they could do for these poor people they both felt responsible for.

“Fucking Wraith,” spat Jack. “Can’t believe we can’t find anything on him. Despite his alias, he’s not a damn ghost.”

“For all intents and purposes, he’s as good at hiding as the Shanti are,” lamented Kaidan.

Shepard picked at her food, her mood doused by reality. There was something she wasn’t seeing, and it niggled at the back of her murky brain, taunting her with its presence.

“Could Wraith be some new species too?” wondered Adams.

“The communication stream _is_ unusual,” pondered Traynor, tapping her datapad to suggest she’d brought the mystifying data stream with her.

“May I see it?” Clay asked, and the Specialist passed it to him.

“Anything’s possible,” sighed out Shepard, hoping that wasn’t the case. “Or a race we believe too primitive. Look at what the rachni can achieve. Not to mention the last Shadow Brok…” Her voice petered out as her heart leapt. Or was it Kaidan’s? They were on the same wave-length in more ways than one.

He stared back at her intently. “Holy shit…. Chu’Tak.”

**-o-O-o-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone's forgotten, Chu'Tak is the yahg that escaped from Sur'Kesh in Resistance!


	26. Chapter 26

The Mess was silent at first, as they all contemplated the name Kaidan had uttered; food completely forgotten now.

Chu’Tak.

All Kaidan could hear was the sound of his thumping heart.

“Wait a minute.” Joker frowned at them all. “You’ve just plucked a candidate out of thin-air. I mean, it’s a good one, but still….”

“He has a reason to hate the Council races and to want them ripped apart,” said Terra, standing and pacing out her restlessness. Her certainty that the yahg was behind this was in parallel with his own.

“Yeah, but he’s sure not the only one,” drawled Joker. “The batarians have long held a grudge, and there’s bound to be other people they’ve pissed off. Or… hell, maybe the Queen of Omega’s decided to extend her realm.”

“But this was also personal,” murmured Kaidan, a quiet but intense anger igniting at his core at what his family had been through.

“After you bested him, Chu’Tak would want to prove who’s boss,” James aimed at Kaidan, leaning in. “He messed with you, sure, but taking Shepard out of the equation was a serious stab at you, _and_ removed a major stabilising force where the galaxy’s concerned.”

There was a wave of disapproval from Terra at that last part, and Kaidan recognised her natural instinct to deny her importance. The way her lips pressed together to suppress the pointless protest confirmed it. Even now, his eternally-modest wife made his heart, body and soul ache, and the way her gaze heated and her mouth tugged in one corner meant she was very aware of everything he’d just felt.

“If it _was_ that yahg then why _didn’t_ he go directly for Alenko, too?” scowled Jack. “The batarian assholes Wraith used, got him off his head enough that he couldn’t remember whether he fucked someone else.” Kaidan’s skin crawled at that, and his stomach roiled, but Terra soothed it away with a warm loving light that blazed through his mind with an indomitable reassurance and unconditional love he couldn’t have ignored even if he’d wanted to, as Jack carried on, oblivious. “He was completely vulnerable. He could easily have gone ‘missing’ too.”

“Kaidan earned himself a begrudging respect in his fight with Chu’Tak,” said Garrus. The turian looked straight at him. “He was willing to give you a chance to fight back.”

That explanation felt right. Kaidan again burned with a very different kind of heat from the one he’d been experiencing just a short time ago with his wife, and Terra moved behind his chair, her hands going to his shoulders, working the tensed muscles there, though her mind was distracted.

“But couldn’t it just as easily be another batarian?” countered Joker. “Someone above Balak.”

Knox leaned forward this time, his head shaking in disagreement. “We already know Wraith used the merc bands to perform for him. The batarians were just another group to be used. The only difference with them is that they almost got what Wraith promised them: their revenge on Shepard. Bet the others would’ve got shafted. Wraith wants chaos. No way is he going to bother wasting resources on helping anyone else into any kind of power.”

“And, if it was the yahg, it _would_ explain why we couldn’t trace the communications,” put forth Traynor. “From what we’ve established during previous interactions with them, they’re still very much developing with regards to technology, and they haven’t had the benefit of prothean data caches. Therefore it’s likely to be very dissimilar to ours.”

“Yet we know they’re incredibly intelligent,” said Terra, her hands stilling on Kaidan’s shoulders. He ran his fingers over hers, needing the feel of her skin. “Playing us all off against each other was smart.”

“And they’re arrogant,” bit out Kaidan, standing and turning to face her. “‘Insults have been made against us, and we will have our vengeance,’” he quoted.

“Chu’Tak very nearly succeeded in making good on that vow,” sighed Garrus.

Cortez nodded, solemnly. “We automatically thought their retribution would be in the form of an attempt at an invasion in the future. The last thing any of us were expecting was a move like this; destroying us from within.”

“And it started with a salarian attack,” pointed out James. “Out of all the races, Chu’Tak has a special hatred for those who imprisoned him on Sur’Kesh. And as much suspicion the Council races may have had with one another, the main casualties would have been the salarian and krogan races if things had kicked off there on Tuchanka, no?”

Joker moaned as he slunk back into his seat. “I give in. Chu’Tak’s gotta be Wraith. I was really hoping for someone less…savage.”

Garrus got up and began to pace. “Except there’s two problems with this theory. One: the geth monitor them constantly. They’d be ready to intercept any outgoing transmissions, so how did Chu’Tak get any kind of communication out at all? Two: the geth would also know if the yahg were able to get more ships off the ground, and as they weren’t space-faring before that, how could they know about the Shanti?”

“Garrus has a point about the communication side of it,” frowned Traynor, her face reflecting a level of disappointment Kaidan also felt in encountering something they couldn’t yet explain, because it cast an uncertainty over their yahg theory.

“And the knowledge of the Shanti,” added Knox.

There was a rush of adrenaline and determination from Terra – a heady mix that sparked Kaidan’s own. “Edi. Get me a connection to the Dalatrass.”

-o-O-o-

The blue image of Dalatrass Narra stood in front of Shepard. “ _I can assure you, Shepard, I know of no such planet, or its people. I would have provided that information to Spectre Alenko when he raised the enquiry with me previously, had I had it._ ”

Shepard gripped the railing that separated her from the QEC. As much as she tried to deny it, her body was feeling horribly frail, and she needed the support. Kaidan knew it too, but he remained at a lean, just out of view, letting her have this moment of usefulness all to herself, and she loved him for it. “And what about Linron’s secured files?”

“ _Linron’s_ …” The scowl on Dalatrass Narra’s face was evident.

“I think maybe the yahg she helped uplift may have gotten his knowledge during his time on Sur’Kesh. I only took the most recent files when I raided her office, but what if there was more?” Shepard was thinking about the countless hard-drives she’d seen in that Sur’Kesh facility which had been destroyed by acid to hide what had been taken and what hadn’t. Everything of interest went through that facility, and as much as she wished she could think better of the salarians, the Shanti would have been a very interesting discovery. Linron would most certainly have wanted to know more about what they were capable of and how she could use that.

“ _There were a great many files in Linron’s possession_ ,” confirmed Narra. “ _I have only looked through a small percentage of it, myself. I’ve been starting with the newest files. Most of it so far has been research based solely on various ways of dealing with her perceived krogan threat, but knowledge of a planet and its inhabitants would be the work of a long-term research project. If it’s there, it would be in the older files._ ” She paused. “ _Give me time, and I’ll have my people search through it_.”

“With respect, Dalatrass, we don’t have the time.” From her talks with Zaliesh it was clear that a great many of the youngest Shanti were unaccounted for, including the Shanti mother’s other children, and the easiest option for the resource-limited batarians would be to keep watch over them on Shantou itself until they were wanted for ‘conditioning’. Who knew how badly they were being treated, and she couldn’t let that stand for a single second longer than necessary. “If you would, I would appreciate it if you would send everything you have to Edi, here on the Normandy. She’ll be able to assess it all a lot quicker.”

To Shepard’s surprise, Narra didn’t take more than a few seconds to nod. “ _Very well. I will agree to your request – with trust._ ”

“Thank you.”

Signing out, Shepard spun on her heel, energised as she walked into Kaidan’s waiting arms. It felt so good to be chasing a lead instead of trailing back to the Citadel in defeat, and being able to share her hope with Kaidan and feel his own was even more exhilarating. Yes, there were still questions, but this was progress. It had to be. The thought of Edi finding nothing in those files wasn’t something she could even contemplate, and like Kaidan, she felt in her gut that they were right to suspect Chu’Tak.

“I’m really not used to that ‘easy-going salarian’ thing I just saw,” joked Kaidan.

Shepard happily absorbed his amusement as she enjoyed the feel of him surrounding her. “I know. Think we should record it for posterity?”

A throat clearing notified them of Chakwas’ arrival, and they separated out of habit. Her arms were folded and her face stern, and it spelled doom for Shepard. The Doc wasn’t about to accept any nonsense. “How about _you_ get yourself back into the medbay without argument or delay, and I’ll record _that_ for posterity instead?”

Kaidan laughed at that, then tried to look repentant as Shepard glared back at him.

“But Doc-“

“But nothing, Admiral. Kaidan and Edi can handle it from here.”

“I’ll update you straight away, I promise,” added Kaidan, urging her towards Chakwas.

It seemed she was on her own in her fight for liberty. Trailing resentfully behind Chakwas like a sulking teen, Shepard glowered back at Kaidan over her shoulder. _Traitor._

He grinned in such an adorable way that she had no choice but to forgive him, and would’ve instantly returned to him if she wasn’t tethered by Chakwas’ presence. _Call it tough love._

 _Tough love? Try this, General._ Without mercy, she internally voiced every lust-filled thought of what she wanted to do him just as soon as Chakwas loosened her grip on her time outside the medbay. To add to his torture, she imagined her thoughts caressing their way down his spine and lower.

In response, Kaidan’s handsome face went dark with want, he rolled his shoulders as his body reacted, and there was a definite bulge…. _That’s pure cruelty._ His voice was a husky groan. Shepard caught her lip between her teeth, and he clutched at his heart with one hand and reached out to her with the other, to which she merely waved smugly as the doors closed.

Shepard quietly laughed, but it wasn’t Chakwas’ enquiring look that dissipated her enjoyment. She’d forgotten that her connection to Kaidan extended beyond the same room, and it was his turn to exude smugness.She stepped uneasily into the elevator with Chakwas.

_Two can play that game, Admiral._

Uh oh…. Shepard involuntarily gasped as something far too intimate crept through her and fired up every receptor in that place only reserved for Kaidan.

“Are you in pain?” worried Chakwas, and to Shepard’s horror, the doctor began a scan.

She grabbed Chakwas’ arm and pushed it down. “No, no. Everything’s fine,” Shepard rushed out, but her cheeks raged with heat and Chakwas saw it.

“You look like you’re burning up.” The Doc pulled her arm away and continued with her scan, leaving Shepard to moan at her feet.

“It’s not that kind of fever, Doc.” The scan completed at the same time as the elevator opened, and Chakwas stared at the results a few seconds longer than usual, with Shepard staring holes into the ground. It was much funnier when Kaidan was the embarrassed one. “Told you I’m good.”

“What can you two-?” Chakwas actually flushed as she caught herself. “Forget I asked.”

Shepard couldn’t help the giggle as she once again followed Chakwas out and into the medbay. _Okay, Kaidan; you definitely win. This time._

His wonderful, smoky laugh carried her to her bed.

-o-O-o-

-o-O-o-

Normandy was nearing its destination: Shantou.

Edi had found the data they needed within seconds of receiving the copious files from the Dalatrass, and putting aside the increasing link to Chu’Tak, Kaidan had wasted no time in getting them underway. Just outside the furthest edge of the Ismar Frontier, the small planet was nestled between two suns, all of which was completely hidden behind an astoundingly vast, bright mass of gaseous debris that swirled in huge swathes.

That Shantou had been found at all was down to pure circumstance when a salarian scout ship had encountered engine difficulties and had lost control, floating out of known space and through the field of light. And so Shantou was discovered.

Linron had sanctioned a covert team to observe and document the lives of the Shanti, only putting the project on hold when she’d chosen to put all resources into the yahg as a more viable solution for her krogan problem. An addendum added to the file noted Linron’s intent to return to Shantou to begin taking specimens for closer ‘research’.

Kaidan had read that last part with a tight jaw. He knew exactly _who_ those specimens would have been. The salarians were supposed to adhere to Citadel law. A primitive race like the Shanti should be left alone and undisturbed – free from interference which could in any way alter their natural evolution. Yet Linron had ignored it in her search for any edge she could gain the salarian people. As a result, the Shanti had fallen into the hands of others who would seek to use them. Never again.

Picking up his rifle, Kaidan clipped it into place, ready for the trip down.

James and Garrus were conversing over their rifles at the weapons bench, Gardew and Cael had cornered Knox over by the shuttle (whose unimpressed face spoke volumes as the duo chatted away without a breath,) and Cortez was doing his preliminary checks on the vessel. The last to join them in the shuttle bay was Terra, and Jack, who nonchalantly trailed off the elevator, unsurprisingly bypassed the armour, and headed straight to the weapons.

Kaidan focused on Terra as she looked them all over; her demeanour relaxed, but he knew better. Her restless fingers tapped against her thigh – a crack in the mask, even if she hadn’t pushed him back to the periphery of her mind the instant Edi had reported the presence of one batarian ship planet-side. She would want to be part of the ground-team to deal with them. But even were her body able, Kaidan wondered at her psychological state should she come face to face with the batarians.

He moved in front of her, gaining her attention. _Will you let me in?_

She looked down, as though in shame, and wishing his hand wasn’t gloved, he gently placed it beneath her chin, encouraging her to look at him.

When her beautiful eyes locked on his, he saw the war within them. _Terra, I’ll understand._ Those chocolate pools brimmed, just before she opened herself.

She was frustrated; anxious to get this done and return Zaliesh and the others to their families. But there was something darker blazing beneath it all. It was hatred, unadulterated, and it shocked him that it was as intense as it had been on Adek, even as he comprehended its presence.

“Hey, Shepard, you’re coming with, right?” Jack interrupted as she backtracked to them with weapons attached. She cracked her knuckles. “This time, it’ll be an equal playing field with those bastards.” The biotic’s visage hid nothing, and yet the murderous intent there didn’t compare to what was inside his wife, and that darkness flared with Jack’s invitation.

Careful what he himself emitted, Kaidan shook his head in despair at Jack’s thoughtless words. The last thing Terra needed was this temptation for retribution. “Shepard’s still healing, Jack,” murmured Kaidan, not taking his eyes off Terra.

“Bullshit. Shepard’s strong enough to point and shoot. With us there, she doesn’t have to do any more than that.”

He felt the hitch of determination in her. “She’s right. I can do this,” said Terra, and she began to move towards the armoury.

Kaidan instantly caught her arm, restraining her. “Whoa! Absolutely not! Not least because Chakwas certainly hasn’t cleared you for duty!”

“Shepard’s a Spectre. She doesn’t have to follow those stupid damned regs,” argued Jack.

“Now’s not the time, Bella,” called out James, with a warning in his voice that was asking Jack to back off.

“After what she went through at their hands, she deserves some fucking payback!”

“That’s enough, Jack,” gritted out Kaidan.

“Kaidan, I _want_ to go.” Terra was vehement, and he exchanged a look with Garrus who gave him a supporting shake of his head at what Jack had stirred up.

Kaidan sighed. “I get that. But-“ He stopped himself. This was something for her ears only. _It’s all still raw to you, Terra._ He reached out and touched the tip of his fingers to her temple. _In here. If we put a weapon in your hands, I know you could tear through every single one of those batarians single-handedly. But you wouldn’t do it cleanly. I can feel the rage inside you, and if you give in to it, you’ll only feed it and suffer the remorse later, and I won’t let that happen. You’re_ not _ready._

A trickle of tears trailed down her cheeks and it damn near killed him that she was hurting. “Fuck!” She swiped them away. “He’s right, Jack. I’m not ready.”

“Ugh! How am I supposed to argue with him when he said it in your head!?” With a disapproving huff, Jack stomped off towards the shuttle. Garrus and James backed off too, giving them some space.

Kaidan pulled Terra into him, his damn armour getting in the way. “I’m sorry, Beautiful.”

“What for?”

“For using what’s in your head against you.”

“I chose to let you in, and I don’t regret that.” Her breath was shuddering, and when she pulled back to look at him her face was full of fear. “I can’t control it, Kaidan. I can’t think about them without the hate. It feels like it’s…it’s trying to smother me, and you’re the only thing keeping me breathing.”

He kissed her then, because it hurt too much to think about her struggling not to succumb to an emotion usually so alien to her. And it terrified him that he might not be enough to keep her _her_ , the way she was depending on him to.

“ _In position. You’re good to go,”_ announced Joker, and Kaidan reluctantly released Terra.

“You’ll get a handle on this,” he assured her. “ _We_ will. You just need more time.”

With the dawn of her smile, he walked to join the others on the shuttle, feeling her warm, appreciative embrace every step of the way, and it felt so good to know he’d brought it back. He _could_ do it, because he loved her.

Moments later they were exiting the ship and making their way down to be the first of their kind to step foot on Shantou. It was a new experience he felt honoured by; to be the ones to free these special people. But though he may have protested her presence, he regretted that Terra couldn’t join them in it.

Only when the shuttle crossed into Shantou’s atmosphere did Kaidan begin to lose his connection to Terra. Another new experience, and one he didn’t welcome. It was like he was losing her light, and he missed her instantly as the warmth petered to nothing. He shivered from the loss.

“Approaching drop-point,” informed Cortez.

It was time to clear Shantou of the last batarians, and he released his rifle and focused. This was for the Shanti. And for Terra.

-o-O-o-

-o-O-o-

When the shuttle door slid open, Shepard was more than ready to see Shantou. The area was secured, without injury to anyone except the enemy, and she could let go of the anger now the batarian slavers no longer existed.

It had taken some persuasion to get Chakwas to allow her to get boots on Shantou, but she was extremely grateful that the doctor had caved – after Kaidan had added his support. She needed this; to see the positive result of what she’d been through on Adek. Looking behind her at the shrouded bodies of Varush and the other Shanti she hadn’t been able to save, she took some comfort that at least their bodies could return to the earth they loved. They were the last Shanti to come home.

Kaidan was walking over, and she waited in place, taking in the environment she was laying eyes on for the first time but also _remembered_ thanks to the residual memories from Zaliesh. The forest in the distance that provided them sustenance, the lush grassland the Shanti travelled and lived upon, the waterfall that fed the river they followed; it was all exactly as she’d ‘seen’, along with the sounds of the birds and rushing water, and the unique scent of Shantou.

The immediate vicinity wasn’t quite as idyllic. Batarian blood stained the ground, though the bodies had been removed. The only aliens here now were themselves. There were more Alliance soldiers here than she’d have liked, but her father had sent two of his vessels to assist with the relocation of the Shanti from the Normandy to Shantou, and the extra shuttles had made the process a lot faster. It also meant that there were additional medical personnel on the ground to alleviate the pressure on Chakwas and her team.

Her gaze fixed on the medical tents which had been erected to tend to the young Shanti injured at the hands of the batarians.

“Will they be alright?” she asked Kaidan as he got to her, and he followed her eyes.

“It’s mostly bruises. A few broken bones.” But that was just the physical side, and they both knew there had been a far deeper type of injury inflicted here. “They haven’t suffered nearly as much as those on Adek did, and we’ve already seen how well they’ve recovered. They’re a community with incredibly strong bonds. They’ll overcome the effects of the batarians treatment, just as you will. You don’t need to worry about them.” His certainty swept through her, lifting the weight that concern had created.

His hands settled on her waist and she looked down at her husband as he helped her down. If she didn’t know better, she’d never guess he’d just battled a small platoon. Inside his head, there wasn’t a trace of fatigue. Only satisfaction came through, along with that constant heat of his love that had still stolen her breath the moment she’d neared the planet’s atmosphere and they’d reconnected again. Those batarians hadn’t stood a chance, and that was all the thought she was prepared to give them.

But her attention was drawn back to those tents. If only she’d thought of the yahg earlier. Her delay in getting here had meant more suffering for these people.

_Don’t do that._

She sighed at Kaidan’s gentle admonishment, and fell into those whisky depths. He was so easy to escape to.

“You’re not responsible for what happened to them.” Kaidan’s fingers threaded between hers. “But you are responsible for this.” He led her away from the tents and towards the main encampment. Here, those in Alliance uniforms had maintained a respectable distance and were watching something with smiles on their faces.

Garrus turned as they approached, and though turians couldn’t display happiness in the same way, Shepard recognised the emotion in her dearest friend. “I have to say: I’m glad I was here for this, Shepard. _This_ is job satisfaction.”

With Garrus’ hand squeezing her shoulder, and Kaidan’s hand in hers, Shepard looked past them to the Shanti. Those from the Normandy were reuniting with their loved ones, and Zaliesh was at the centre, on her knees as she wept over each child that ran into her arms. Beside her mother, little Sharna was jumping up and down in excitement at seeing her older sisters and brothers.

Shepard let her own tears fall. If this was what had come from her being taken and tortured, then it was worth it. Her being there had meant she could fight for them, and her ties had meant they were found. The demons she’d picked up along the way would be dealt with sooner or later, because she couldn’t fail, not with her family around her – not with Kaidan so completely a part of her.

Then Zaliesh was reaching her hand out to Shepard, and both Kaidan and Garrus let her go. With every step she took, more Shanti stood and faced her, and by the time she got to Zaliesh, she was surrounded by benevolent faces.

“Shantou is as beautiful the people who reside in it,” Shepard said, sincerely.

Zaliesh gripped Shepard’s hands, and one by one the others made contact with each other until they were all united. Their collective minds were in tune, and Shepard felt the profound relief and joy, and it reached into Shepard until she was feeling it too.

“Yes. Our home.” Despite the contact, Zaliesh spoke out loud – if you could call that whispery voice loud. “You brought us home, Shepard. Thank you.”

 _“_ It won’t end there,” vowed Shepard. “I’m going to make sure you and your people stay safe. You won’t ever have to fear this happening again.”

 _“_ I believe you. From the first moment I touched your mind on your Citadel, you gave me strength and hope. I will share that with all our people. The Shanti will heal and continue. And we will not forget you, and what you did for us.”

Not knowing how to respond to that, Shepard hugged her. Certain she was about to start bawling in front of everyone, she quickly broke the contact. Thankfully, Kaidan rescued her with a polite cough, and the Shanti parted for him.

“Sorry to interrupt, but the doctors are happy they’ve done all they can. We’re packing up. Ready to leave you all in peace.” He held out a communication device. “Here, Shepard wanted you to have this.”

“You know what it is and how to use it?” checked Shepard, in case Zaliesh needed to take that information from her, but Zaliesh nodded. “If you should need _anything_ at all, just call, and we’ll come. We may be making sure you’re left alone, but you won’t ever _be_ alone.”

Taking the device from Kaidan, Zaliesh hugged it to her chest as though it was a great treasure. “Thank you.”

“Take care. All of you.”

“And all of you, Shepard.”

With a final nod, Shepard walked away with Kaidan’s hand reclaimed in hers, and nothing else in her head except for the entirety of the man she loved. Garrus fell in step with them, then James with his arm slung over Jack’s shoulders, followed by a contemplative-looking Knox and her two favourite salarians who were already embroiled in mid-babble over the events. Finally, there was Cortez, waiting by the shuttle.

“Hackett’s people confirmed they’ll be remaining in place over Shantou until a more permanent sentry’s in place,” said Cortez. “Liara’s working on that already. As the main issue is how to protect them without more people knowing where it is, she was thinking of adapting beacons with a detection/warning system.”

“And maybe that Spectre task-force can come in handy,” suggested Garrus.

“You want to put krogan on a ship with other species and give them nothing to do but baby-sit a planet?” laughed James.

“Be sure to put in cameras,” smirked Jack. “I’ll pay to see that outcome.”

“I don’t know, I think that would be a pretty good test,” reasoned Kaidan. “With short rotations, of course.”

“Apparently, krogan find a lot of motivation when it’s a challenge with a name,” shrugged Garrus. “Just call it… the Rite of Forbearance.”

Knox huffed in amusement. “Good luck with getting recruits from the other races once you tell them they’re bunking with krogan in the middle of space - where no-one can hear them scream.”

“Hey, have some faith in the krogan,” said Shepard, lightly, enjoying the moment. “I agree with Garrus and Kaidan. It’s definitely something to think about.”

“We would do it,” offered Cael.

“Yes. Worthy task indeed,” agreed Gardew.

“We have already made krogan acquaintances, in fact.” Cael was jumping up into the shuttle, with his other half right behind him.

“Interesting ones, for sure.”

“Holy shit,” muttered Knox, as the two salarians continued talking in the background, apparently oblivious that it was just the two of them. “They’ll either drive the krogan insane or have them screaming for mercy.”

Laughing, Shepard looked around at Shantou and its gentle inhabitants. They deserved the best guardians, and she smiled at the thought of a krogan watching over them.

Everyone asides from Kaidan began to board the shuttle.

“So, are you ready to go, Shepard?” Cortez asked, softly.

“Absolutely. One wrong righted. Just the perpetrator left.”

With that, Cortez stepped in and started the engine.

Taking a deep breath of Shantou air, Shepard gave one last look at Zaliesh with her family… and her heart yearned. Wraith was still out there, but she really didn’t want to go chasing off after a rogue yahg, and it tugged her spirits down. She felt so very far from Rorie and Nate, and it had been so long since she’d just held them like that.

Kaidan’s comforting presence amplified within her until he was all she could feel. It was like he was pulling her back to her feet, and lifting her chin. “You know, the yahg aren’t going anywhere. I doubt that ‘Wraith’ even knows we’re onto his real identity. And we’ll get a better response from the Council and Alliance brass if we can answer the question of how the yahg could communicate outside their own planet; prove beyond doubt all roads lead to Chu’Tak.”

Her heart leapt at the hope of where he was going with this. “So...we’ve got time to…”

Kaidan’s smile lit her up from the inside out. “Let’s go home.”

**-o-O-o-**


	27. Chapter 27

Shepard was sat up on the medbay bed, legs crossed, and staring into her omnitool. As pleased as she was to be heading home to Rorie and Nate, it didn’t stop her from feeling bored by inactivity, and so she’d called her father.

“How’s the galaxy doing?”

“ _Though things never got as far as war there’ve still been many casualties. Too many. There’s a lot of re-building to do too. The asari suffered the most with the destruction of their stations – they lost research, ships, and a lot of lives. That’s going to take considerable time to recover from. But at least now it should be at an end. Wraith failed, and he’ll know that by now. The smartest move would be to keep his head down_.”

“You mean Chu’Tak. How’s command handling the news of yahg involvement?”

“ _Much the same as the Council: they’re taking it on board as a possibility, but aren’t fully committed to ruling out anyone else. According to Osoba, the asari and turians are exhibiting some considerable distrust towards the salarians right now. After all, the information on Shantou came from them_.”

Shepard sighed heavily. They were all so hypocritical. “Offered freely. Had Narra known about it, she could have easily denied any knowledge. She didn’t. And she handed over all those files without debate, even though she had no idea what they contained. I trust her.”

“ _I’m inclined to agree. But as far as the higher-ups are concerned, that doesn’t mean that other salarians weren’t behind it, like the original team assigned to stake out Shantou for instance._ ”

“And what, they arranged for the Blood Pack to attack their own people to deflect suspicion?” she said, incredulously. “Bullshit.”

“ _Again, I agree. But they’re determined to consider all possibilities._ ”

She aimed her frustration towards the ceiling. “Kaidan said they’d want a definite trail back to Chu’Tak. I suppose the fact the yahg happened to be at the same facility the research would have passed through isn’t exactly conclusive evidence,” she conceded.

“ _The problem is: we’ve contacted the geth patrol over Parnack, who’ve stated that there’s been no attempt by the yahg to communicate outside their planet, at all. It’s a major setback in the yahg theory._ ”

With a loud exhale, Shepard collapsed back. “Bollocks.”

Hackett’s mouth tugged. “ _We’ll figure it out. Until then, get some rest._ ”

Shepard groaned. “All I’ve been doing is resting. If I wasn’t crazy before, I’m sure heading that way now.” She sent a pointed look to Chakwas who had turned to her in quiet amusement. That’s when Joker strolled in, hesitating when he saw she was occupied.

“ _It’s for your own good,”_ chuckled her father.

“Ugh! It’s like everyone’s been programmed with the same damn phrase.”

“ _You know, the last time I saw you pout like that you were ten and I’d refused to allow you to cliff-dive._ ”

“I’m not pouting!” Then she realised she was still doing it, and she quickly straightened her face as her father laughed. “Goodbye, dad.”

“ _’Bye, sweetheart._ ”

Closing her omnitool, Shepard waved Joker over.

“Gotta love it when parents pull out all the embarrassing childhood tales,” her drawled. “But seriously, cliff-diving at ten, Shepard? Only you.”

“Was there something you needed, Joker?” Shepard said sweetly, ignoring his jibe.

“Oh, just wanted to tell you we’re making good time. We’ll be hitting the relay to the Citadel in just over an hour.”

Surprised, Shepard studied him. “And you came all the way from the cockpit to tell me what you’d normally say over the comm?”

“Yeah, well… thought I’d stretch my legs for a bit. You and the Doc are always going on about me getting out of my seat more often.”

Chakwas rose, exchanging a knowing look with Shepard. “I’m just popping out for a coffee,” which was code for ‘I’ll give you privacy so Joker can tell you what’s on his mind’.

Once the door closed behind Chakwas, Shepard resumed her crossed-leg position and patted the empty space in front of her. “What’s bothering you?”

Joker sat down slowly, chewing on the inside of his lips. “We’re going back to the Citadel, so… I’m wondering about Altair. I mean, she’ll still get to fly, right?”

“There’s nothing to worry about. Hackett was impressed she stood up for what she thought was right, even knowing she’d face charges, so he wants her at the helm of his own ship.”

“Oh. Well that’s…that’s great.” His tone said otherwise, and Shepard captured his hand in hers.

“You’re going to miss her.”

He screwed his face up like she’d just said something crazy. “What, that usurper sitting in my seat? No way.”

Shepard waited him out.

“I don’t suppose…. I mean, couldn’t she… stay here?” There was a vulnerability to Joker she hadn’t seen before, and it broke her heart that she couldn’t give him what he wanted. All she could do was grip his hand a little tighter.

“Oh Joker. As badly as I want to say yes, I can’t. Like you, a pilot of her calibre deserves her own commission. The best you’d both get if she stayed would be halving the time you clocked flying. In the long-term, neither of you would be happy with that.”

His sighing nod made her feel horrible. “I know. I shouldn’t have asked. It probably just made you feel like shit for saying no.”

“Forget it. But I _am_ wondering just how serious it is,” she said, teasingly.

“It’s not- It’s- We haven’t even- We haven’t-“

“Kissed?”

Joker moaned into his hands. “You said it. This is beginning to feel like that time I had to sit through my dad giving me the sex talk.”

Shepard laughed. “I mentioned kissing, not sex!”

“I know! But it’s _you_!”

“This from the man who made bets on my first kiss with Kaidan?” She grasped his shoulders and made him look at her. “Look, make the most of this time together. And though I can’t tell you that separation isn’t hard, I can promise you that coming home will never feel sweeter, and reuniting is wonderful.”

“Thanks, Shepard.” He hugged her before sliding to his feet and starting out.

“And for God’s sake, kiss the girl!” Shepard called out before the doors closed him out.

Then they opened again for Chakwas, coffee mug in hand. “Dear Jeff. I’ve never seen him smitten before. It’s adorable.” She placed the mug down on her desk and walked over.

“They make a cute couple, don’t they?”

“Yes, they do. It’s about time he found someone to draw his attention to life.” Standing at Shepard’s side, Chakwas was embroiled in yet another scan.

“He’s not the only one who could do with some outside interests,” Shepard grumbled. “Wouldn’t you like to spend more time with a certain engineer?” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“Stop that. I know what you’re doing: trying to get me out of the medbay so you can go AWOL. But as a matter of fact, I’m happy to let you go. Maybe now I can get some peace.”

“Seriously?”

“No, Shepard. I lied. It was a cruel joke. Yes, seriously. You’re responding well to the medication, and we’ve repaired all the muscle damage.”

Shepard was already off the bed, grinning her jubilation at being officially released.

“ _But_ … you’re to submit yourself for daily checks without fail, and you’re only cleared for light duty. That means no fighting. Your body is still very weak – in particular your lungs - and you’re going to have to build up that strength gradually.”

She was almost at the door. “Got it, Doc. You’re the best.”

“Oh, _now_ I’m appreciated.”

Blowing Chakwas a kiss, Shepard took her happy self out, with one perfect guy on her mind.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan was chatting with Adams in Engineering when that ever-present feeling of Terra that hung in the background of his mind, much like the thrum of Normandy’s engines, caught his attention as her mood brightened considerably. He wondered if she was talking to Rorie.

“General?”

Realising that he’d phased out on Adams, he gave an apologetic look. “Sorry, Adams. I got a little distracted there for a second. I’m still getting used to this connection I have with Shepard.”

“I can imagine. No worries. I’m getting used to talking to myself,” Adams said wryly, jerking his thumb at Clay who was intently bent over a datapad.

Kaidan strolled over. “Anything I might be interested in?”

The young quarian jumped, recovered, and cleared his throat. “Sorry, Sir. It’s a copy of the communication data from Wraith that Specialist Traynor gave me. There’s something about it that’s bugging me.” He hesitated for a second. “Would it be okay if I took a closer look at it? Break it all down?”

There was something in his gut that told him to go with Clay’s. “Absolutely. Do whatever you need, though that’s quite the undertaking; would you like me to get Edi to assist you?”

“I’m sure Edi’s already done a thorough analysis of it-“

“I have,” said Edi, even though she was standing all the way over by the drive-core.

“So I’m thinking it’s something I need to do the hard way.”

“Alright then. I’m sure Edi can take over your duties.” There was a nod from Edi. “That is, if you’re happy with that Adams,” Kaidan checked.

“Sure. Not like he’s focused anyway.”

Clay flushed. “Sorry. And thank you, Sir.”

As Kaidan walked out, he began to feel Terra reaching deep inside him creating coils of pleasure like she was stroking the very nerves beneath his skin. It was stoking his desire, and once he was within the privacy of the elevator, he breathed out a ragged breath. _If you were trying to get me back, you’re too late. I’m out of Engineering and all alone._

_I’m waiting for you - in our cabin. In our bed. Naked._

That was an image he didn’t need help with, and she was a temptation he couldn’t resist even if she wasn’t deliberately creating arousing sensations throughout his body. _Keep that up and I’ll be done before I reach you,_ he warned, and she pulled back with a seductive laugh.

He was more than ready to traverse the space from elevator to cabin, and when those doors slid open he was rewarded with the exquisite sight of her waiting for him with nothing but the thin sheet to keep her modest. It wouldn’t be staying there long.

Stripping as he crossed to the bed, Kaidan stopped at the end of the bed and slowly unveiled his wife. She was perfection even with the scars, but he was drawn to the new one that adorned her stomach, fresh and pink against her beautiful pale skin. That was from the stab wound she had at first thought _he’d_ inflicted, and he truly hoped there was a hell and that Balak was in it, suffering eternally for what he’d done.

Though he wanted her badly, he hung back. “Chakwas really let you out?”

Her grin was all the confirmation he required and he crawled up to lay beside her, just taking some time to revel in the feel of her pressed against him. He’d missed this.

“Yep. For good.” Her eyes sparkled back at him, and her hands caressed his back. “Mainly because she’d had enough of my incessant complaining. Plan worked.”

“Hh!” He savoured the first kiss before speaking again. “You can tell yourself that, Admiral, but we both know that Chakwas only let you out when she was good and ready to.” He cupped her cheek, his thumb tracing the scar Lawson had left. “Restrictions?”

Her eyes rolled at his question. “Basically, I can only exist,” she griped, before turning a naughty look on him. “‘No fighting’,” she quoted, in a pretty good imitation of Chakwas. “But she definitely didn’t stipulate no _playing_ ….” She ran her hand lower, and Kaidan stilled it before she escalated things too quickly.

She leaned in and hungrily kissed him, taking his lower lip with her as she pulled back with a purr of pleasure that broke the last of his restraint.

“ _We’re an hour out from the relay, Admiral,”_ notified Altair.

The interruption made them both freeze.

“Thanks, Altair.” Though Terra’s voice sounded fine, Kaidan picked up a surprising conflict within her.

“Aren’t you happy?” Kaidan began to kiss his way down her throat.

“Of course I am. I can’t wait to hold my babies again, especially after Shantou.” She gave a soft moan as he got to an especially sensitive spot, and in response, encouraged him closer as he worked his way back up to her lips. “But - on a purely selfish level - I _really_ want to explore this connection we have.” Her gaze when he met it was so intense it made him shiver in anticipation. “And I mean, _fully_ explore it. While we can.”

He paused. “While we can?”

There was a seriousness behind her dilated pupils. “Kaidan, once we’re on the Citadel I don’t know if we’ll be able to open up to each other the way we’ve been doing on the ship.”

His heart sank a little as he realised what she meant. “The kids.”

She nodded, brushing fingers through his hair. “I don’t know if we can separate who we let in. With Rorie and Nate, it’s always been an all-or-nothing thing. Once we’re within range, we’re going to have to behave.”

“Wow…that’s…something I hadn’t considered.” He thought about it, then smiled in reassurance. Yes, it was disappointing to have to censor this, but they’d still be connected, which meant they were still luckier than most. “At least it’ll make these times we do get _alone_ more special. And as for when we’re not, we’ll just have to do it the old-fashioned way, like every other human couple in the galaxy. It was always spectacular before,” he smirked, smoothing his hand over her rear, and enjoying her laugh.

“You’re right,” she grinned, pushing him on to his back and straddling him. “Right now, it’s just us, and I intend to find out _exactly_ what we’re capable of together.” There was so much heat radiating from her look, that Kaidan found it difficult to breathe.

And then she was kissing him – soft, warm lips loving his, hot tongue tasting him – and more, it was like she had opened every door within her until there was nothing hidden. She was completely vulnerable to him, and yet the trust was unwavering. That knowledge created burning emotion behind his eyes, because it was one thing to _believe_ she had faith that he’d never let her down, but another to know it and feel her certainty for himself. All he could do was to affirm it, and so he endeavoured to give her the same in return.

It was like letting loose muscles he didn’t even know he was using, and he knew it had worked when the connection deepened.

Above him, Terra was silently crying, and he sat up, holding her. She clung to him; her touch reverent.

_Kaidan…_

_I know._ He kissed her, feeling her love like it was a living thing all its own and had taken up residence in his soul. And God, how he welcomed it. She was his, mind, body, and soul, and it stirred his insides until his loins ached. He couldn’t hold back any longer, and thankfully, Terra was in-tune with him as she responded, her mouth on his becoming more demanding, and her feathery touch blazing a path down his sides. Then she pulled back a little with a look of wonder on her face.

Intrigued, Kaidan began to caress her back. The skin there was uneven beneath his arms and hands from the scars left by the whip, but it wasn’t the reason he faltered. Somehow, they were so inter-connected that he could feel the sensations she was feeling as he touched her, on top of his own stimulation.

Continuing, he realised he could tell exactly where to touch her, and with what pressure, to get the maximum arousal out of her.

  1. Her laugh was shaky, not from fear but anticipation, and he was right there with her on that.



He knew then that there would be no slow, steady union.

As Terra resumed her exploration of his body, finding every erogenous zone he had to make him shudder, he returned the gesture in kind until he’d reached the slick heat of her core. His first stroke had her grinding into his hand, and he gritted his teeth as her arousal transmitted to him too.

Then she had him in her hand, though she knew not to dally there, like being so integrated with what he was experiencing meant that she now had a detailed map to all his inner workings. Her hips lifted, and she guided him inside her.

They both went rigid as they fought to ride out the two incredible sensations doing battle inside them - hers and his own – and it wasn’t clear which belonged to him. He couldn’t care less. They were effectively one entity, and it was far beyond spectacular.

Wrapped so tightly together that Kaidan would have denied that anything could come between them, they moved in perfect rhythm. They had been given all the answers to each other’s bodies, and Terra was using it, her hips tilting at the precise point for maximum effect. He pushed up, knowing how far to go to hit the right spot, and again, when she rose, she knew just where to stop before plunging back down once more.

It was dizzying as her orgasm crashed over them both, and he barely held onto himself. But of course, she sensed it and paused, giving him the time he needed to regain control as she trembled around him.

_We can do more._

He gasped against her mouth. He was pretty sure ‘more’ was going to fry his brain, yet nothing was going to make him stop her as he read her intentions. … They’d been so focused on the physical, they’d forgotten to make the most of what they could do with their minds alone.

This time, Kaidan rolled them so he could take the lead. His awareness of her body and of what he wanted to make her feel, was easier to achieve than he’d imagined it to be, and each thrust was like he was magnificently unravelling in her hands and in her mind.

Neither of them were quiet now. It was too much to hold in.

In a sudden rushing wave, Kaidan was almost overcome by the power of their love and passion-fuelled climaxes, and it burned through him without mercy, igniting his nerve endings with its mind-blowing intensity. Or was it Terra’s? He couldn’t tell anymore. What did it matter, when he knew for sure that she was as sated as he was?

Fighting for breath, Kaidan took her with him as he laid on his side, not ready to lose the physical connection any more than the mental one they’d have to put away once they were through that relay.

His hammering heart stalled as he heard the wheeziness in Terra’s breathing. To describe what they’d just done as exertion was an understatement, and she was supposed to be taking it easy.

“Don’t worry,” she panted. “I’m fine.” Then she gave a breathless laugh, nothing but pure adrenaline-driven euphoria coming across. “Holy fuck! I’m more than fine!”

Kaidan began to laugh too then. What they’d just shared was more than either of them could have imagined, and the prospect of more time spent like that was exhilarating to say the least. But who knew when they’d next get a chance?

“ _Sorry, to bring you folks back to Earth, so to speak, but we’re about to hit the relay._ ” There was a distinct air of smug amusement in Joker’s voice. _“Thought you might like the time to, you know, get clothed before the mini you’s come aboard._ ”

Though Joker was only guessing at what they were doing, Kaidan still felt like they’d been caught in the act. While he felt the heat of embarrassment, Terra exuded a roguish thought that materialised in the twitch at the corner of her mouth.

“At least some of us aren’t wasting time resisting our urges, Joker.” Kaidan groaned into his pillow as she completely confirmed Joker’s assumption. “Have you kissed your co-pilot yet?”

There was some impressive spluttering over the comm before it switched off.

“Hh! With Altair right next to him, Joker’s going to be giving you the evil eye over that for weeks,” Kaidan warned, light-heartedly.

“Just giving him the push he needs. He’ll soon be over it, I bet.” With a final kiss, Terra slid out of bed, and Kaidan watched her, noting with alarm that she seemed a little weak-kneed.

She shot him an exasperated look. “Will you stop worrying?”

“But that’s my job,” he said earnestly, smiling at her eye-roll.

Climbing out to join her, Kaidan led her to the bathroom, knowing she’d need his help to get her through the ordeal that washing had now become. He briefly worried about how they’d handle this when he couldn’t get inside her head to soothe her, because she’d have to keep herself closed in order not to frighten the kids. Then he admonished himself; the spores had spoilt them - like sex, they’d just have to handle it the traditional way. And there were signs of improvement already – her breathing went more laboured as she tried to control it, rather than hyperventilating. However, she still wouldn’t let a wet flannel anywhere near her face.

He just hoped her lungs would cope with the inevitable stress she was about to put them through straight after their last work-out.

Maybe being unable to repeat this whole one-mind sex thing too soon was a blessing in disguise, though he hated to admit it. However, something told him that refraining from using their new-found connection was going to be a whole new challenge.

-O-

Joker’s face blazed as he tried his hardest to focus on his screens as they approached the relay, but the silence was too loud to ignore, and he couldn’t seem to see beyond Robbie at the corner of his eye.

“Shall _I_ take us in?” she asked, and there was amusement in her voice that made him do a double-take. Sure enough, she was smiling – or rather, trying not to and failing badly. “You seem to be having trouble concentrating.”

“Yeah, I wonder why,” he muttered, then tried to laugh it off. “Guess that’s what happens when you have a boss that’s more like family; you get teased. Ignore it.”

“What if I don’t want to?” she said, so softly he wasn’t sure if he’d imagined it.

Joker was saved from his moment of fish-mouthing as Robbie took them through the relay. The familiar pull and rushing bright light demanded his attention as his instinct to be vigilant and maintain control kicked in. Robbie was doing a superb job without him, but he fiddled with his console anyway. Then they were through, and the Citadel was a growing light in the distance.

Robbie announced their approach to the Citadel while he watched the radar pick up the positions of the many ships protecting the Citadel. Their identities confirmed they were friendly, and Normandy transmitted her own tag. All standard stuff. What wasn’t normal was his thudding heart.

“So…when _are_ you going to kiss the girl?” Robbie asked, breezily, like it was any other question.

He went wide-eyed, then noticed the slight tremble in her fingers as she tucked an errant curl behind her ear. That was followed by her nervously chewing on her bottom lip, and his discomfort disappeared. She wasn’t half as blasé about it as she’d made out. He shrugged, deliberately casual. “When the moment’s right, I guess. I was thinking of asking her out on a date first.”

There was an intake of breath before Robbie cast him a hopeful look. “A date?”

“Yeah. I mean, she and I have met for coffee and all that, but…well, a date’s something two people do when they’re about to embark on something more than friendship. It feels like the right move.”

“More than friendship?” Her voice was a whisper, and it pleased him no end that he’d turned the tables on her.

Capturing those forest eyes, Joker went deadly serious. “I think it’s long past time. Don’t you?”

She nodded with a swallow, and he thought she’d never looked so adorable. But he couldn’t resist finishing this the way she’d started it.

He stood, and she blinked.

“Where are you going?”

“Oh, I’m just going to message the girl I was talking about and make that date,” he said. “Need a little privacy. You can bring us into dock, right?”

She looked absolutely lost for a minute, then crushed, and he nearly caved. “Um…sure.”

“Great.”

As soon as he turned his back to walk to the CIC, he couldn’t keep the grin in any longer. He went as far as the end of the corridor before it opened out on the CIC and opened his omnitool.

**So, I was thinking…. How about a date? There’s a new gourmet restaurant opened up on the Strip, and I bet if I drop Shepard’s name I can get us a table.**

**P.S. There may be kissing after.**

**Joker**

Sending it, he turned and watched Robbie pause and open the message. Then she spun to face him, her eyes squinted, but an ecstatic smile on her face. “You ass!” Then she was typing a reply and he thought how lovely she was.

He was ready for the beep and opened her message.

**Even though you were an ass, I suppose I have nothing better to do. But that kissing better make up for having to put up with you all evening.**

**Robbie**

Laughing at her response, he made his way back to her and settled in his seat while she got the docking assignment and lined them up.

“I thought you didn’t believe in crossing lines,” Robbie teased so tentatively he could have kissed her right then.

“I didn’t,” he admitted. “Not for me anyway. Shepard and Kaidan make it work, but they’re super-human or something. Normal rules do not apply.” Wanting to reassure her, Joker reached over and put his hand on hers. Time for sincerity. “Meeting and getting to know you…changed my mind.”

With a small gasp and glistening eyes, Robbie launched herself out of her chair and kissed him where he sat. At first, he was too surprised to respond. Then he came to his senses - he had a beautiful woman’s lips on his. Catching her wrists before she could retreat, Joker deepened it. She tasted as sweet as her scent, and…something was beeping.

They both burst apart as the alarm registered. With swift fingers, Joker adjusted the ship so it was no longer on a collision course with the docking bays, and Altair winced as she answered the hail from Citadel Control, assuring them all was fine.

They’d been in no real danger – Edi would have corrected them before it was too late - and Joker couldn’t stop grinning as he brought them in to dock. Once the clamps engaged, rendering them immobile, he began powering down the engines.

When he looked over at Robbie, she gave a guilty giggle. He was really looking forward to that date.

“Everything okay in here?”

He turned to see Shepard with Kaidan, appearing as inseparable as ever. “Sure, Shepard. Why?”

“Because I heard an alarm. And Altair’s blushing. And instead of glaring at me, you’re _really_ smiling.” She was looking at him like that was the strangest thing in the world, yet he could tell she was trying not to smile.

Then the external comm pinged for his attention. He didn’t need to check to know who it was. “Yeah.”

“ _Open sesame, Uncle Joker!_ ”

**-o-O-o-**


	28. Chapter 28

Shepard sat in the back of the cab with Nate under one arm, pressed close to her side. One little hand was clutching her uniform like he wanted to ensure she wasn’t going anywhere, and the other was gripping his sister’s soft toy varren.

On her other side, Rorie was enthusiastically sharing every second of what she’d been doing since they’d been gone. Shepard couldn’t catch it all – it was a whirlwind of excited words, some of which Rorie said wrong or weren’t even real words at all – but she was enjoying it immensely.

So was Kaidan. Shepard didn’t need to see the huge grin on his face as he drove; she could feel his happiness alongside their children’s.

They’d been in contact with each other since they’d neared the Citadel, and being able to share this added insight into their beautiful minds with Kaidan was wonderful. Her head was full of her family’s elation, and it was a moment to treasure.

An added warmth flitted around her. An attempt at a hug.

Shepard lifted Nate up so his sweet smiling face was level with hers. Usually, he was just the receiver of their special hugs, and it squeezed at her heart to know he was trying to reciprocate. “That’s right, clever boy. You’re getting it.” He jabbered at her in delight, clapping his hands.

“This is how you do a head-hug!” Rorie eagerly declared, immediately emitting the warmth of her love that pressed down in a comforting blanket. “And now daddy can join in too!”

Kaidan was already there, feeling it and returning it. In Shepard’s mind, these hugs were the most perfect sunny yellow, bright and powerfully uplifting.

“I’ve been giving Nate _lots_ , mommy,” volunteered Rorie. “Because he’s been missing you and daddy.”

Shepard blinked back tears as she physically hugged her daughter, nearly knocking her cap off. “Did you give him Puppy, too?” She straightened the cap.

Rorie reached over to stroke the toy’s head, and Nate bounced it in his lap, making cute little growling sounds. “Uh huh. Sometimes he had bad dreams, and I showed him, in here,” she touched his head, “how to take Puppy with him to frighten all the bad things away.”

The ache in Shepard’s chest was shared by her husband. Their children had been through too much too young, and yet they were happy souls helped by that unique connection afforded by the spores which meant they could really understand and help one another. They were amazing.

Kaidan had to clear his throat before speaking. “Nate’s lucky to have such a caring big sister. I’m proud of you, honey. I knew you’d look after him.” Their daughter beamed back.

Then Kaidan was parking close to their apartment, and reality crept over Shepard. An unwelcome coil of unease began to unfurl in her gut at the thought of going up there, and she quickly shut herself off before her family picked up on it.

This wasn’t how coming home was supposed to be.

-o-

Hiding it from the children, Kaidan was deeply concerned as he switched off the cab’s engines. Terra had disconnected from them, but not before he’d caught the start of her distress. He checked the area.

Outside the cab, the Strip was cluttered by a mass of cameras and reporters. Garrus was already out there, barking orders at his officers to keep the media at bay, having gone ahead with Kaidan’s parents to ensure the route was clear when he realised the large amount of interest in them. It appeared the galaxy wanted to know what humanity’s Spectres had to say about recent events. They were going to be disappointed.

But that couldn’t be the cause of Terra’s reaction - there had been just as many staked outside the bay when they arrived, and she hadn’t been bothered. He wanted to ask her what was wrong, but there was no way of doing so without drawing attention from Rorie.

Exiting the vehicle, Kaidan took Rorie’s hand and waited for Terra to walk ahead of him. While he and Terra ignored the cameras and reporters, Nate stared straight at them over his mother’s shoulder, blinking rapidly from the lights shining in his eyes, and Rorie smiled and waved, charming them all.

Once inside the lobby, the quiet returned with the closing door. Yet he could tell from her body language that each step that took them closer to their apartment seemed to raise the tension in Terra.

And why wouldn’t it?

Kaidan could have kicked himself. The answer should have been obvious. The last time Terra had been in their apartment she’d endured a traumatic event in which she’d thought Nate had been taken from them forever. It was tainted.

Terra faltered outside the door, and when Kaidan placed his hand on her back in reassurance, she flinched.

Nate gripped his mother tighter. Unlike Rorie, who had thankfully been off the Citadel at the time, he’d been involved in the attack here, and Kaidan worried that he might know what was affecting his mother. Sensing the same unrest in their son as he did, Terra caressed his head, soothingly.

“Don’t be scared, mommy. It’s just home,” said Rorie. Kaidan sighed at that; he should have known she’d pick something up anyway. He waited as she jumped to tap the door release.

It opened to the smell of coffee brewing, and Kaidan could see his mother busy in the kitchen. His father was tidying up some toys from the lounge floor.

Rorie ran in, heading straight to the rear lounge. To Kaidan it still looked like home, even with the residual ‘memories’ Zaliesh had left him with when she’d shown him what had transpired here. As horrifying as they were, he could look past it, and there were no visible signs from the attack. He just wanted to move forward. But as he urged Terra inside it became clear it wouldn’t be that easy for her.

Her eyes darted from the kitchen to the space leading to the study, and then up to the balcony. That was where the batarian hung Nate upside down with a knife to his belly. Kaidan’s stomach clenched painfully; and _he_ hadn’t even lived it. Terra stared up, swallowing, her cheek rubbing against Nate’s crown. Kaidan could see her chest rising and falling rapidly.

Around them, mugs clinked in the kitchen and the vid-screen turned on in the far lounge.

With a heavy heart, Kaidan moved close to Terra. “You can’t face staying here, can you?” he murmured.

Her face twisted in her turmoil, and he wished more than ever that he could interact with her. “I _want_ to. This is our home. And it’s all that’s left of Anderson.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “But all I can see are all the places that made it impossible for me to defend our son.”

Kaidan’s chest constricted. Not only had Balak scarred her back, and messed with her head, but he’d also ruined their home for her. That made him angry.

Rorie’s carefree chuckle radiated from the other side of the divide, and that innocence sounded wonderful.

Kaidan embraced Terra and Nate, because it was all he could do, and she sagged against him. “I’m sorry. I hadn’t thought about how you might feel coming back here. And I should have.”

Breaking the embrace, Terra breathed deep as she stiffened her spine. She was pulling out the Admiral, and this was the last place she should have needed to do that. “It’ll be fine. I’ll adjust. There are plenty of really good memories to hold on to here. It’s just a stupid feeling.”

“It’s not stupid, Terra,” said Kaidan, softly. “And I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. Not here.” He looked around at the open plan living space she had loved, searching for an answer. There _were_ a lot of really great memories here, but was that enough…? As he assessed it like a battlefield, he could see the many issues. Could he could solve those? “What if we put in some security upgrades?”

Her eyes brightened at that. “You think it’s possible? Without making it unrecognisable?”

“I don’t see why not. I’ll get Garrus on it.”

“Oh no. So we’re talking trip-wires, and exploding glass wall fixtures then.” She sighed, dramatically.

That she was able to joke, lightened Kaidan’s worry. “Then we just need a place to stay in the interim. I noticed the other apartment on this floor is available, but I expect its layout will be similar to this.”

“I’ll call dad. He won’t mind us using his place. And Rorie and Nate are familiar with it, so it won’t feel strange.”

“My parents can have the run of this place until we decide what we’re doing, and then I’ll put them in a hotel.”

She kissed Nate’s head. “What do we tell Rorie?” They moved so they could see their daughter, who was watching Baby Blasto upside down on the couch, her legs up in the air and her hair dangling to the floor. It made them both smile.

“That it’s a long sleepover at grandpa’s. She’ll love it.”

Terra smiled weakly. “Thank you, Kaidan.”

“Anytime, Beautiful. We can fix this, and it’ll be home again.”

She leaned in and kissed him, opening herself up again so he could feel her gratitude. He wanted more of her, and restraining himself from delving deeper was hard. But what was important was that he could feel her relaxing. This was the right move.

“Everything okay, dears?” His mother pushed two filled mugs across the counter towards them.

The warmth of Terra flooded through him. “It will be,” smiled Kaidan.

-o-O-o-

It felt a little weird living in his father-in-law’s place, but other than that, Kaidan was feeling great. The past days had been filled with laughter and fun as they made the most of their time together with the children. The evenings left time for just the two of them, and he’d been helping Terra regain her physical strength now she was off her meds.

He was laying on the bed in the guest room, while Terra was just finishing in the shower. Alone. It was a huge accomplishment for her – one she had been determined to achieve. Pride went through him as she appeared in the doorway with a towel wrapped round her and a smile on her face.

“I did it.”

“I knew you would.” He watched her walk over and as she settled beside him his arm was waiting to pull her to him. “You couldn’t fail.”

She snuggled up against him, a smooth, long leg sliding up his, and fingers resting over his heart. The aroma of shampoo and soap intermingled with her natural scent, but it would fade soon enough, leaving behind only her.

“How did you feel?”

“Like a trembling wreck,” she admitted, “but it’ll get better.”

“Absolutely.” He kissed her, and she emitted a breathy moan.

“You have no idea how much I want to open up with you right now,” she murmured over his lips.

“I hear you.” Desire was stirring up his insides, but even with the kids asleep, he didn’t dare let any of it loose. Instead, he released the towel around her. Only she was sliding down and out of his grasp, leaving him clutching the towel. “Hey, where are you going?”

“Lower,” she murmured seductively, and it made his breath hitch. Even without that magnificently deep connection, she never failed to drive him over the edge.

-o-O-o-

Shepard moved the treadmill to the next and top level. Finally.

It had taken her nearly a fortnight to get back to anything close to the fitness she was at before. With no training equipment in Hackett’s apartment, she’d gotten to the stage where she wanted something more than floor exercises and sparring with Kaidan. So she’d come here to the gym, bringing her family with her because she hated being apart from them when she didn’t need to be.

They were the only people in this part of the large gym, thanks to a quiet word with the owner which had secured it for as long as she was on the Citadel. The closest anyone could get was ogling through the viewing windows that dotted the walls at various points, but most had gotten bored and moved on. She didn’t care so long as they couldn’t bother her.

Her lungs were beginning to burn now, and it annoyed her. She should have been able to go an hour longer at least. That was the standard she had set herself. She _needed_ to be on top form, so she kept pushing herself.

Kaidan was bench-pressing a chuckling Nate, and that sweet sound soothed away some of the tension that had worked its way in.

“Ah, come on! What are you doing, soldier!? You call that a push-up?”

James had also joined them, and Shepard grinned over to where he towered over his ‘cadet’. It pushed back the last ripple of frustration.

“It’s not hard! Put some muscle into it!”

Rorie scowled up at him. “I don’t have muscles, Uncle James! I’m only five!”

“And how are you going to get any if you don’t build them up?”

She thought about that. Then she returned to the correct position, and through sheer determination, Rorie managed a shaky but complete push-up. She bounded up-right, ecstatic; James celebrating it with a shout and two fists in the air like his team had just won the final of a biotiball match. “I did it!”

He scooped her up and hugged her. “Of course you did it! You can’t fail at _anything_ you put your mind to, Nugget! It’s practically guaranteed!”

“Much like the fact that your mom doesn’t know when to quit.” Kaidan stood, placing Nate so he was holding onto the bench he’d vacated, and looked pointedly at Shepard.

“Mommy _never_ quits,” stated Rorie.

“Precisely.” He walked over, and Rorie went with him, leaving James to return to his workout.

Shepard tried to ignore him, but he kept staring at her with those smouldering good looks of his until she could feel his gorgeous eyes burning into her. It was distracting, but also a turn-on, even though he hadn’t intended it that way. Then those arms folded, and Rorie copied him, tapping her foot for added effect.

With a sound that was something between a moan and a laugh, Shepard slowed the treadmill to a stop, trying not to appear overly puffed.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, Terra. You’re fitter than most.”

“’Most’ isn’t good enough.”

He sighed patiently. “Poorly chosen words.”

“Oh man! You guys need to be seeing this!” James was looking at Nate, who was fixed on Kaidan and herself, at arms-length from the bench like he had every intention of coming over….on his _feet_.

Everything else was forgotten as Shepard crouched down, her arms out-stretched. “Come on, gorgeous. I’ll be right here to catch you.”

Nate did a happy knee-bending bounce on the spot in response. Then he took a step, and Shepard covered her mouth, a little overcome. She’d feared she’d miss this, and yet here she was, at the right moment. Bracing herself to act as he wobbled, Nate managed to balance himself and took _two_ steps this time, before finding his equilibrium.

Kaidan softly chuckled. “Getting bold already, huh?” He was hunkered down beside her, his hand on her back, sharing in this newest milestone for their son while his omnitool recorded the moment for the grandparents.

With a delighted squeal, Nate walked another two steps and fell into Shepard’s waiting hands. Pulling him tight against her, Shepard cuddled her little man as she and Kaidan praised him.

“Uh oh,” sighed Rorie. “Now he’s going to be running around all over the place!” Her face was so exasperated in preparation for what she imagined would be her brother’s instant ability to race around, that they all laughed.

“I don’t think you need to worry quite yet,” grinned Kaidan. “And you could always learn how to do this.” His beautiful blue aura shimmered over his skin and he sent out coils of energy that lightly wrapped around Rorie and lifted her off her feet until she was slowly spiralling in mid-air.

Nate was chortling along with her, and Shepard placed him in Kaidan’s gentle field so he could join his sister there.

Recording the two of them spinning and laughing, Shepard soaked it in. But her attention was caught by a lone figure watching through a window just beyond her floating children. A batarian. Her stomach tightened, and that darkness she’d forgotten about since coming back to the Citadel, re-emerged.

“Terra?”

She blinked up at Kaidan who had placed the children on firm ground and stepped up close, a worried frown on his face as he glanced at her tightly-fisted hands. Releasing them, she switched off her tool and tried to smile, but she was drawn back to that window. Kaidan followed her gaze, but the batarian was gone now. When he looked back at her, Shepard shrugged apologetically, relieved they weren’t truly connected and she’d been able to contain her reaction.

But she could see Kaidan wasn’t buying it, and she’d have some explaining to do when they were next alone. “I should go shower.”

Grabbing up her pistol and reattaching it to her hip, Shepard entered the corridor on full alert, quickly assessing the area. It appeared empty. Heading for the gym’s showers, she couldn’t relax though. Even while she stood under the stream, she kept her back to the wall, listening for any sound. Her pistol lay on the ledge in place of the shower gel. She wasn’t taking any chance of being unarmed.

Re-dressed, Shepard found no release from the tension inside her, and it crawled unpleasantly beneath her skin.

She released the door lock, but when it opened before Shepard had raised her hand, she went to the pistol back on her hip. At the sight of Rorie, she dropped her hand, trying to settle her heart. “I’m coming. Is daddy getting impatient?”

“No. But I am. Daddy said we can get take-out on the way home. Can we have noodles from Santa?”

Shepard laughed. “He’s _not_ Santa!”

“He is! He just pretends to be Tony Fatty Elli so no-one keeps asking him for presents, but really he _is_ Santa!”

“Fraticelli,” smiled Shepard, as she herded Rorie back out into the corridor, where Kaidan was waiting at the far end near the exit with Nate and James, who was clearly hanging around for that food. “I take it Jack will be eating with us, too?”

“Uh huh. And Uncle Estban.”

Shepard could guarantee that by the time they got to Fraticelli’s they’d be ordering for more than that. Not that she minded.

“Admiral Shepard?”

The voice behind her was spoken in vying tones that immediately told Shepard its speaker was batarian. In the next second she was fire and steel. She had to protect Rorie!

Spinning on her heel, she struck out with the heel of her hand, connecting with his chest and flinging him backwards. He yelled out as he tumbled over the ground. When he finally came to a still, she was standing over him, her gun drawn and levelled with his head. The shouts from Kaidan and James were muffled by the rush of her pulse in her ears. She had to destroy the threat before it hurt those she loved.

The batarian raised his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry, Admiral! I didn’t mean to startle you!”

She was about to pull the trigger, but one thing stopped her: the regret in his face. It made her hesitate, and her vision extended beyond the forehead she’d intended to aim her shot at.

He had no weapons, he wore no armour. In fact, his only action had been to speak to her.

Horror descended, eclipsing the cold fury, as she realised she’d attacked this man without any provocation. What the hell was she doing!?

With a sharp inhalation, Shepard quickly sheathed her gun and shakily straightened. “I’m… I’m so sorry. I didn’t…” Words failed her as he lay on the floor, looking up at her like he thought she might snap again at any moment. It took forcible effort, but she extended her hand to help him up. She thought for a moment he’d refused to take it, and she wouldn’t blame him. But then he did, and she pulled him to his feet. “Please forgive me.” Her voice was weak.

“Forgive _you_?” The batarian shook his head, sorrowfully. “From your reaction to my presence, I can only assume that the rumours I’ve heard are true: that others of my race tortured you.”

Shepard didn’t answer. Couldn’t.

“It was the reason I wanted to speak with you. To apologise. Not that it’s ever going to be enough to make up for what was done to you. Not all of my people – those few of us left - feel that way. We know that we’re the victims of our own leaders choices over our co-existence. It ensured we had no allies when we needed them most. I just hope that, in time, you’ll be able to feel differently towards us.”

He cautiously made his way past her, his hand on his chest. Kaidan was standing close, while James had Nate and Rorie at a distance, halfway down the corridor, and Shepard couldn’t look any one of them in the eye.

“Wait.” Shepard waited until the batarian faced her again. “I didn’t get your name.”

“Becress Dhas’saprak. You can call me Bec, Admiral.”

Despite what she’d done, he was being so understanding it made her feel guiltier. “Would you allow me to take you to the hospital, Bec? You should get checked out.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Still. I hit you hard. … It’s the least I can do.”

“You need not worry about me. I’m meeting my partner here. She’s a nurse at Huerta. But I appreciate your concern. It says a lot about you, Admiral.”

“It’s Terra.” She held out her hand again, and Bec shook it with a smile and a nod, then turned and walked gingerly away.

Her eyes travelled to the floor in shame as she was left with those whose opinions she cared about most.

“How ‘bout I take the kids and we go get that take-out?” called out James. “We’ll order for you.”

“Thanks, Vega,” answered Kaidan. There was a solemnness in his voice, and it upset her that she’d put it there.

She watched James go, Rorie giving her a little wave but the smile was there for her benefit. Shepard was wracked with worry that she’d damaged her daughter’s view of her. “Did the kids pick up anything?”

“No,” answered Kaidan. “You were so closed off it was like a black steel door came up. I couldn’t even feel you were there at all. It was cold.”

She looked at him then, tears pooling at the thought that her appalling actions had changed the way he felt about her. “I scared you.”

He stepped into her space then, his arms embracing her the way they always did, and it nearly broke what little hold she had left on her emotions.

“The only thing that scared me was that you wouldn’t be able to see your error before it was too late. That would be something you’d never forgive yourself for.”

“I attacked a man simply for being batarian. I was _so_ close to killing him for it. I’m a monster.”

“No. You’re not,” Kaidan said, adamantly, his gaze fierce on hers. “You’re a beautiful person who was mistreated in the worst way, and you reacted to someone you perceived as a threat because of it. Believe me, I know how it feels to lose that control. The difference is, _you_ were able to pull back. The real Terra Shepard came through, and you did the right thing.”

Wishing he hadn’t needed to dredge up Vyrnnus, Shepard hugged him. “I need to address this, though. I can’t allow anything like this to happen again.”

“You won’t. I felt the same way about turians for a while after meeting Vyrnnus. As guilty as I felt over causing his death, the way he treated us stayed with me, and I didn’t find it easy to look at other turians without seeing _him_. But it was the trauma of the situation we were in that had skewed my viewpoint, and knowing what had resulted from that – my losing control – meant I could take a step back and take the time to be logical about it.” He smoothed a hand over her hair and kissed her. “I made an effort to get to know those turians I met along the way, and before long I no longer saw them as ‘Vyrnnus’. You just did that with Bec.”

“You really don’t think I’m a danger to batarians?” she said, sceptically.

“Not to those who aren’t making trouble, no. You’ll always pause first, because of what nearly happened here today. As for those who _are_ trouble? Hell, yes. But we’ll deal with that when we get to them.”

Letting her head fall to his shoulder, Shepard exhaled, suddenly tired. “First I can’t take a shower, then I can’t stay in my own home, and now this. I’m a mess.”

“The great thing about messes is that they can be sorted out, with a little time. You’ve already started doing that.”

“Smooth talker.”

“Huh! Just stating facts, Beautiful. Now, I’m thinking we better go. The thought of our rabble alone in Hackett’s apartment makes me feel kinda queasy.”

Wincing in agreement, Shepard wasn’t about to go anywhere without making sure he knew just how much she loved him, and she kissed him deeply until she could feel him harden against her. “You’re an amazing man, Kaidan Alenko.”

“I’m glad you think so. It means I’m worthy of you.” The sincerity in his voice was enough to turn her into a puddle at his feet. Then his face darkened with heat. “And now we’re going to have to wait until I can walk out in public without looking inappropriate.”

Her eyes travelled down to his erection, and as her own body responded, she let her mischief show. He was a master at distracting her from her woes, and though she knew what he was doing, she was happy to lose herself in her husband. “Then why waste the time doing nothing?” She tugged him towards the shower room, pushing away the horrible place her dark thoughts had taken her, and eager to suppress them with something good.

“Here!?”

“There’s a lock. So how about it, General? Be naughty with me,” she challenged.

He lifted her off her feet as they passed through the door, and hit the lock. “Such a bad influence.”

-O-

James had Rorie on his shoulders and Nate in his arms as he strolled towards Fraticelli’s, but he had a lot more weight on mind than he did his shoulders. He’d never seen Shepard lose it like that, and it had revealed just how much hidden damage Balak had done to her.

“I know that look, Mr Vega,” said Steve as he met up with them. “What’s up?”

“Nothing that I can talk about right now, Esteban.” He directed his eyes up towards Rorie, and Steve nodded in understanding.

“Mommy got angry at a man for speaking to her,” answered Rorie, and James screwed up his face, having forgotten that she’d seen it all too. “She hit him, and he fell back, and he went rolling a long way, and then he stopped, and mommy got her gun out.”

There was a short silence. Steve was glancing from James to Rorie and back again.

“Wow,” Steve said finally.

“Uh huh. Mommy was very cross so he must have been a very naughty man. But then she let him go.” Rorie shrugged. “He must have said sorry, so she forgave him.”

Though James hadn’t been close enough to hear the dialogue between the batarian and Shepard, he had seen the look on his friend’s face of horrified remorse.

“Oh! Little angel! I’ve missed that sweet face!”

The voice boomed all the way across the plaza from Fraticelli’s, and the sizeable queue at the counter seemed to make way for them, revealing the owner – a man James had enjoyed many a late night chat and friendly poker game with.

“Santa Tony!” responded Rorie.

“Ho, ho, ho! Come, come! Tell me what you’d like!”

Steve lifted her off James’ shoulders and put her down so she could race ahead, and James didn’t take his eyes off her until she was ensconced on the counter, talking animatedly to Antonio.

“Why?” Steve asked quietly as they closed the distance.

James knew exactly what Steve was asking. “He was a batarian,” was all he said.

“Damn,” sighed out Steve, running his hand over Nate’s head. “It’s haunting her.”

“Yeah.” Then they were at the counter, and James started ordering between Antonio’s fussing over the ‘bambino’. His stomach growled at the promise of great food.

“Joker’s just called in his order,” said Steve, showing James the message so he could pass it on to Antonio.

“Hey, is that for _two_?” grinned James. “It’s got to be the cute pilot, no?”

A hand slapped the back of his head, biotics sparking against his skin. “Something you want to tell me, Vega?”

“Sure is.” He turned to Jack, his free hand going to the back of her head and pulling her face to his. “I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with you, Bella.” He loved that flush of pink that tinted her cheeks despite her feigned scowl.

“You think cheap words will win me over?”

He kissed her, not caring Antonio’s customers were getting a show. “How ‘bout that?”

“Is Auntie Jack still married to Uncle Estban?”

Okay, that ruined the moment, and James stared at Rorie. “What?”

Steve groaned, while Jack gave a snort of amusement. “We were just pretending, Precious,” Steve said to Rorie.

James frowned, trying to work out if this was some kind of weird joke. “You two were pretending to be married? Why?”

“Because Cortez is a closet straight guy!” laughed Jack. “I was just helping him fulfil a secret fantasy!”

Steve failed to keep a straight face. “She’s joking, Mr Vega! I’ll explain once we’re out of here.”

“So, is that everything my friends?” asked Antonio, reminding them he had other customers waiting.

“Whatever Shepard and Alenko like, Papa,” answered James, still confused.

It was Rorie’s turn to look puzzled. “Santa’s your daddy?”

James laughed at that. “Nah. You call him Santa, but _I_ say ‘Papa Noèl’. So I say ‘Papa’ for short.” While Rorie considered that, Jack leant in and added more food to the order than any biotic could need, so James guessed it was for Traynor too. “How’s Brains doing?”

“She passed out. Several times,” smirked Jack.

“Why?” worried Steve.

“Jack managed to convince her to have a tattoo,” explained James. He rolled his shoulders as he pictured the one his Bella had given him. She’d designed it herself and had refused to show him beforehand. He could tell then she’d been expecting him to say no, but he hadn’t. He trusted her, and baring his chest to her had made her cry. The result was beautiful, and she’d inked it right over his heart. It was hands-down his favourite piece.

“Did it myself,” Jack said, proudly. “But Traynor’s a serious wuss.”

“She let you tattoo her. I’d say that’s brave,” commented Steve without thinking, and Jack seared him with a look.

“Are you after a pretend divorce too?” she snapped.

Before James could press for more details about this whole pretending business, Rorie gasped.

“Mommy’s here!” Rorie clapped, and Nate wiggled in James’ arms, making ‘m’ sounds.

James twisted round, searching. “I don’t see her.” Then he groaned. Nothing was straight forward anymore. “You mean mommy’s in your head, don’t you?”

“Uh huh! And daddy too!”

Nate launched into a round of ‘da da da’s’.

Antonio returned with their orders, all bagged and ready to go. “Here you go. And some extras on the house.”

Everything else was forgotten with the smell of food right under his nose, and James grabbed it up. “You’re a saviour, Papa.”

“No, no. I’ll leave that saviour stuff to Shepard! You be sure to give her my regards. And enjoy!”

With that, they headed out to Hackett’s apartment. It was going to be a good night, and James hoped it would help take Shepard’s mind off things. It was about all they could do for her.

-O-

Walking through the door to Hackett’s apartment, Kaidan was revelling in the feel of Terra’s mind. Once they’d left the gym she’d felt comfortable enough to open herself up again, and he was pleased he’d been able to take her thoughts off earlier. Or at least to have helped sequester it where it wouldn’t cause her too much damage. She didn’t need any more.

The raucous noise of chatter and laughter that greeted them was entirely expected. Kaidan had suspected that as soon as James had invited himself, the others would soon follow. And that was alright, because these were their friends, and now was the perfect time for them to be here.

Not only was he feeling the warmth of knowing Terra was happy to see them all, but the kids were having a ball. Rorie was giggling away over her noodles, and Nate was happily showing his new-found walking skills to an over-impressed Garrus.

Nearly all their friends were here, including Kolyat and Bailey. Only Clay seemed to be missing.

“Bet your dad never imagined _this_ when he lent us his apartment,” Kaidan murmured into his wife’s ear.

“He’d be shocked,” grinned Shepard. “Best not tell him. I’d only get a lecture.”

“At least there aren’t any krogan.”

“Small mercies.”

Then they were noticed, and there was a chorus of calls for them to come dig in before Traynor ate it all, though everyone knew she ate tiny portions compared to the rest of them.

As Terra’s joy filled him, Kaidan changed his mind. This was more than alright. This was great.

Settling in amongst the others, they began tucking in. Fraticelli never let them down.

The door chimed and Adams went to answer it. Clay entered in a flurry, removing his mask as he did so. But what Kaidan saw in the young quarian’s face was anxiety.

“Clay?” Terra immediately questioned, standing. “What’s wrong?”

Around them, the room quietened.

Clay never quite stilled on his feet. “I _think_ I know how the yahg managed to communicate.”

“That’s great work! Why do you look so worried?” Adams clapped him on the shoulder like a proud father.

“If you’re right, you’ve just given us what we need to win over the Council,” said James.

“Right, well…” Clay swallowed, unused to the attention. “I wanted to be sure before I brought it to you, so I tried to contact Admiral Gerrel so he could verify it.”

“And?” prompted Kaidan.

“I can’t get a connection to Rannoch.” Clay was beginning to look panicked. “At all.”

“Wait.” Terra moved in front of him, her eyes intense. “There’s no contact with _anyone_ on Rannoch? Not even the geth?”

“Nothing.”

“Edi.”

“Attempting contact through all known channels.” They waited for the few seconds it took Edi to perform a task that would have taken them hundreds of hours to complete. “I can confirm there is no communication being received on Rannoch, by either quarians or geth.”

“Well that doesn’t bode well,” muttered Garrus.

Kaidan couldn’t agree more. Considering all the chaos Chu’Tak had been trying to cause, a whole planet going silent was a very bad sign.

Dinner was over.

**-o-O-o-**


	29. Chapter 29

In the wake of Clay’s announcement, Shepard had called her father and patched him in to the room’s vid-screen, realising belatedly that he could now see everyone lounging around in his living area, complete with take-out and a few beer bottles spread over his coffee table.

Sure enough, the eyebrow raised, and Shepard felt like an unruly teenager caught in the act under her father’s gaze. “ _Making yourselves at home?_ ”

Jack gave a dirty laugh. “Busted.”

“Uh, yes… thanks, dad. Admiral.” There were more snorts of amusement from behind her, and Shepard made a silent vow to get them back for it. She retreated back to the sofa and sat next to Traynor, her head full of questions she hoped Clay would be able to answer.

Kaidan settled on Shepard’s other side having contacted and patched in Liara, who now shared the screen with Hackett.

“ _Shepard. It is good to see you looking so well. I apologise for not coming to the Citadel to see you, but I have been busy ensuring all the batarian extremists were routed out._ ” Liara’s face went severe. _“This will_ not _be happening again._ ”

That was the last thing Shepard had been expecting, and she shared a look with Kaidan. But now wasn’t the time to question that. “It’s good to see you too, Liara.”

Then a little blue face appeared at the corner of the screen and Liara’s demeanour immediately softened at her daughter’s appearance. That’s when Rorie jumped up from where she’d been drawing a picture for Chakwas, and waved.

“Hi Grandpa! Hi Auntie Lara and Eden. Do you like my picture?” She held the drawing-pad up to the screen, proudly. While Liara and Hackett made positive comments, Eden studied it with what Shepard knew would be a far more critical eye.

“ _It’s okay. It looks like a cave drawing._ ”

Rorie’s smile fell away as she cast her eyes over her drawing, and Shepard felt her five-year-old’s disappointment like a kick to the chest. In the same instant as she wrapped her love around Rorie, so did Kaidan, along with an adorable attempt from Nate, too. The beautiful little soul brightened in the midst of their ‘hug’, and Rorie smiled back at them and everyone else around her who had been assuring her it was beautiful work. Her pride was restored.

“And the prothean race lives on,” muttered Joker, while Liara gently explained to Eden why it was rude. “That was the kid-asari version of ’primitive’ if ever there was one.”

Shepard stifled her laugh at that. As sweet-faced as Eden T’Soni was, she wasn’t an empathic child, and Shepard could often see something of Javik in her. From her comment, it seemed Eden was following her mother’s archaeological roots too. Shepard just hoped that Liara didn’t forget the importance of stepping away from the serious stuff and enjoying time with family and friends – for Eden’s sake _and_ her own.

“ _I’m sorry, Aurora,_ ” Eden said on a sigh. Then Liara told her they had work to talk about, and Eden waved before disappearing from view.

Rorie presented her picture to Chakwas with a kiss, getting a thank-you hug in return as the Doc took it, and Shepard knew for certain it would be adorning the wall of the medbay the next time she went in. Then, Rorie laid back on her belly and set to work on her next masterpiece which she announced would be for Bailey.

Shepard checked on Nate. He was completely absorbed in solving the conundrum of how to get Puppy to stay where he was trying to put it – in the stirrup of Garrus’ outstretched left leg – and it made her smile.

But it was time to get back to business, and she closed off her mind so it was only hers again. “Okay, Clay. Tell us what you found.”

Even after a year or so of working with Adams and the others on bringing the SR-3 to completion, and the assistance he provided during his short time on the SR-2, Clay still seemed to find it surprising when anyone actually sought his opinion and listened to him, and he fidgeted self-consciously.

“Go for it,” encouraged Adams.

“Well… as I said to Kai-um, General Alenko, before we docked, there was something about the transmission from Wraith that seemed familiar, but I couldn’t work out what. So, I broke it down, separating the unfamiliar code we couldn’t identify and picking out the pieces that looked out of place.” Tapping at his omnitool, Clay interacted with Edi, who instantaneously redirected it to all of their omnitools.

There were long pages detailing the work he’d done separating out the message from the data that had accompanied it, and Shepard stared at Clay, astounded. “You must have spent your entire shore-leave on this!”

His pale skin flushed. “It seemed important.”

“It is. Thank you, Clay.” Now she felt guilty for relaxing the past two weeks. Then, like they were connected and he knew what she was thinking, Kaidan nudged her in a silent ‘don’t’. He was right; she wouldn’t trade those days with Kaidan and the kids for anything, and she’d done everything she personally could with regards to Wraith.

Kaidan was looking intently at the data. “You said _some_ of it was out of place. How so? According to Edi, it was _all_ unusual.”

“Here.” Clay tapped again, and this time several short strings of code were highlighted in various places amongst the rest.

“It does look different from the rest,” conceded Traynor, “but it’s still unrecognisable. To me anyway. Edi?”

“I have to concur.”

“That’s because it’s very old,” explained Clay. “To the point where it’s long obsolete. That’s why Edi has no record of it.”

“And _you_ know what it is because…” led Garrus.

Clay shrugged. “I’ve always been interested in the origins of our technology, and I had plenty of time growing up to study.”

“Nerd alert,” smirked Joker, and Altair gently elbowed him. They sat with a closeness that warmed Shepard. She’d barely seen the two of them since Normandy had docked, and Shepard would place a large bet that they’d gotten a lot better acquainted in that time.

“So it’s quarian?” Traynor’s question drew her back.

Clay shook his head. “Geth.”

There was a short silence.

“Damn,” voiced James, his hand circling subconsciously over Jack’s back, who was sat in his lap to make more space on the sofa. “For some reason that’s more worrying than if it was quarian.”

“But it does makes more sense,” said Kaidan, a deepness in his voice that reflected the severity of the situation. “It’s the geth who are patrolling over Parnack.”

“ _It’s a compelling link, if it can be proven. Explain_ ,” Hackett prompted Clay.

Clay squirmed under the Admiral’s stern gaze, and Shepard felt for him. “Before the geth joined the old quarian network – before we changed it to keep them out of our systems – they were connected through a very old, basic transmission. Rudimentary compared to what we and they use now. Like I said: it became obsolete once we connected them to the old quarian networks. But it’s still there. It sits redundant alongside the superior communication they now use. And I recognised pieces of that here.”

“ _Pieces_?” asked Liara.

“It’s been heavily altered - probably in the encryption process so it can be accessed on our more advanced network - but the essence of it’s there. I wanted to get some examples so I could show you, but they’re only available from the quarian archives. It was why I tried to contact Admiral Koris.”

It seemed stunning to Shepard that the less advanced yahg had managed to find a way around the communication systems of an advanced AI race. Then she checked herself; she was doing a pretty good impression of Javik. Underestimating the yahg was not wise.

Nate clapped his hands as he succeeded in his pursuit, and Shepard watched his cautious but steady upright travel from Garrus’ leg (leaving behind his firmly-planted toy) to where Kolyat sat on the floor. As Kolyat welcomed him close, Nate rested against him and gently began running his fingers over the frills of the drell’s face, completely fascinated.

“ _You’re saying the yahg could actually be using this redundant network to make contact without the geth knowing_?” queried Hackett.

“Well, the geth should still have detected a straight forward communication even on that,” said Clay, “but there’s also this.” Another tap and more code stood out in red. “I think these could be leftover traces from a virus. Maybe more than one.”

Edi stilled as she processed it. “That is a plausible conclusion.”

“Does this mean the geth were compromised?” asked Knox, who was leaning on the back of the sofa behind Traynor. “Long enough to get these messages out, anyway?”

“Maybe,” replied Clay, but his face said he didn’t think it likely. “But it’s not easy to hack the geth without exposing your presence. Then they compensate quickly and put in safeguards to prevent the same thing happening. And that communication had to go both _in_ and out of Parnack.”

“But you have a theory?” pressed Cortez.

“Not really. I mean, however the yahg did it, it was smart. Somehow, they managed to upload a virus that let them send and receive messages without the geth detecting it. The only way we’ll find out how, is to look directly at the geth source – before the encryption process they would have needed to embed on our end to decode the messages, overwrote the virus.”

“Hold on.” Joker had a hand to his forehead and a frown on his face. “If the geth have gone down with the quarians on Rannoch, how come we got a response from the one’s over Parnack? Aren’t they connected through their hive thingy?”

“Is that a technical term?” ribbed Garrus, and Joker stuck up his middle finger. “I’d return the gesture, but turians have evolved a more streamline appendage.” He held up his three-digit hands like they were the example of organic perfection.

“What is this? A contest for best Javik impersonation? The little asari wins it.”

“ _If you have quite finished,_ ” snapped Liara, and her unamused face made both Joker and Garrus bow their heads in shame, which Shepard felt an immense urge to laugh at. She suppressed it. James didn’t, and his chuckle was met with another withering look from Liara that made the bulky marine swallow uneasily, the grin quickly lost.

On the other side of the screen, Hackett was quietly sighing. His commanding style meant that he was unused to the personalities of his crew being brought into the de-briefings. But this wonderful group was _hers_ , and Shepard found their banter comforting, and a light relief.

“To answer Jeff’s question, the geth are no longer bound to the hive mind,” informed Edi, helpfully bringing them back on topic. “Each unit is an individual nation. However, they are constantly transmitting back and forth. They would have noticed the cessation.”

Shepard took some hope from that. “Then whatever’s happened to Rannoch is recent and only affecting the planet itself. Edi, can you get a connection to the geth over Parnack again?”

“Link established.” They waited as Edi silently conversed with the geth in a way that was far quicker than organic words. “They have begun a thorough check of their systems for what Clay’Gerrel has identified. With regards to Rannoch: they do not know what is happening there, but have been unable to make a connection to the hive for almost 24 hours.”

“They haven’t gone to check it out?” frowned Knox. “Or contacted outside help?”

“They sent a single patrol back to Rannoch to investigate but the ship dropped out of contact as it descended to the planet, just thirty minutes ago.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” said James. “Are they sending in back-up?”

“No. It was decided that remaining at their posts over Parnack was paramount, as agreed with the Council races. Recent consensus had just concluded it was judicious to request our assistance now they consider themselves unable to assess and deal with the unknown issue on Rannoch. Our contact with them was well-timed.”

“So they want _us_ to go in and sort it out, with our illogical organic-y brains. Figures,” muttered Joker.

“You’d think the remaining geth would be more concerned with their own planet than guarding over the yahgs’,” said Knox.

“Dedicated to the point of stupidity,” parried Joker.

“Didn’t we follow Shepard on a suicide mission?” Garrus pointed out.

“Hey, we’re still here. It’s not stupid if it’s smart.”

Garrus held his hands out in exasperation. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Doesn’t it, Garrus?” Joker fixed him with a serious look. “Doesn’t it?”

Shepard laughed at Garrus’ confused look. “Ignore him.”

“ _The fact that this geth patrol ship went silent too, is a major concern,”_ intervened Hackett, apparently on board with ignoring her pilot. _“You’ll need to approach with caution.”_

“No ‘we’?” blurted out Altair. “Sir,” she added quickly.

 _“I’ll have to take this to Command first; start gathering the fleets. If what Clay’Gerrel believes is correct, then whatever has happened on Rannoch, the yahg will have to be dealt with._ ” When he focused on her and Kaidan, Shepard’s heart sank in preparation. _“For that we need the Council on board.”_

“Yay,” Shepard responded, wryly.

“Permission to join Normandy, Admirals?” asked James.

“Ditto,” Knox jumped in.

“Granted,” replied Hackett and Shepard in unison.

 _“I can head for Rannoch immediately,”_ said Liara, raising her hand up to stop Shepard’s protest. _“I will be sure to maintain a distance. Probes may pick up something of use to you when you arrive.”_

“Anything at this point would be helpful,” admitted Kaidan. “We have no idea what we’re going into.”

“ _Then I’ll wait to hear from you. Hackett out.”_

Liara signed off too, and everybody began to fidget, waiting for the catalyst to get them moving too.

“Okay then.” Shepard stood, her eyes automatically landing on the beautiful children she would have to leave behind again. “We have a mission. Cortez, gather the rest of the crew.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“You’ll need _me_ , of course,” said Garrus, matter-of-factly. “That’s if you’ll allow it. I like to finish what I start, and this is leading up to the end-game. Right?”

“I hope so,” Shepard said, sincerely. “You’re always welcome aboard, Garrus.”

“Well I don’t need permission,” stated Jack. “I’m coming.”

“Can I come?” jumped up Rorie, and Shepard felt horrible at having to deny her.

Kaidan crouched down to her, his hand smoothing affectionately over her cheek. “Oh honey. I think you already know the answer to that one, don’t you?”

Rorie rolled her eyes impressively. “But I have my Liance clothes and cap, and I can do _this_!” Her biotics flowed over her and rushed out in one smooth move, smacking one of her grandfather’s huge, heavy statues right off its base so hard it embedded into the far wall.

“Nice!” approved Jack.

Rorie’s hands were clamped over her mouth and her eyes were wide as everyone in the room gaped back at her. “Uh oh,” she whispered, and Shepard had to work hard not to laugh. Kaidan though had needed to turn away so their daughter couldn’t see him failing to keep a straight face.

Shepard put her hands on her hips, and did the ‘mother’ stare. “You’re very lucky Grandpa didn’t see that, young lady.”

“So you got away with it,” Jack said brightly, enjoying the whole thing.

“Asides from the major hole in the wall,” James said as he tried hauling at the statue. “Man, this thing’s stuck tight!” He grinned over his shoulder. “That _was_ pretty impressive, Nugget.”

“I’m glad you think so, James,” Shepard said, crisply. “I’ll leave you and Jack to deal with the remedial work.”

The couple quietly cursed.

“Here, let me help you with the obstruction,” offered Kaidan, and he used his biotics to pull the statue out, floating it back to its base with precision. He checked it over. “Luckily, there’s not even a scratch. So it’s just the wall.”

“What the hell is it, anyway?” asked Garrus, peering at the statue.

Joker grimaced. “It looks like something out of the back-end of a krogan.”

Everyone sent strange looks his way.

“I imagine,” added Joker.

Shepard addressed her daughter. “You need lots of training in much more than biotics to be a good soldier. That’s how mistakes like that can happen.” She pointed to the damaged wall.

“’Kay,” sighed Rorie. “I’ll call Grandpa and say sorry.”

“Uh…let’s leave it for now,” Shepard replied, too breezily to fool the adults in the room, and James and Joker began coughing out ‘cop out’. “Has anyone seen Gardew and Cael? They might like to see this through too.”

“I have a feeling we’d hear them before we saw them,” drawled Garrus, removing Puppy and handing it back to Nate, “but I’ll track them down.”

“Can _I_ help track them?” Rorie asked him, brightening.

“How can I refuse that face?” Garrus said. “Come on, partner. But none of that making-statues-fly business once we’re on the Presidium,” he warned as they started out, hand in hand. “I do _not_ want to have to explain to the Council why they’re looking down on the actual back-end of a krogan.”

“’Firm’tive,” saluted Rorie.

With a patient exhale, Shepard went to collect Nate as the others began to follow Garrus and Rorie out, but he was already in Chakwas’ care.

“He can stay with me while you deal with the Council.” Then Chakwas was gone, with Adams beside her, both of them cooing away at Nate.

Shepard groaned under her breath. “The Council.” Kaidan’s arms circled her waist, pulling her backwards so his chest was firm and warm against her back. His lips grazed her ear in a way that set her insides aflame.

“Come on, Beautiful. We’ll face them together.”

God, she loved him, and she spun in his arms to show him that with her kiss. If only Rannoch and its people weren’t in trouble. If only that yahg could have left them all alone. But it wasn’t to be, and so the kiss ended.

There was work to be done.

-o-O-o-

They stood in front of the Council they’d managed to avoid up until now, and Kaidan tried to remind himself that their support was preferable to going it alone. It was about all that was stopping him from yelling as everything they’d told the Councillors, about Rannoch and the likely yahg involvement, seemed to fall aside in favour of the curt remarks being parried back and forth between Valern, Tevos and Sparatus.

Osoba looked as irritated as Kaidan felt, that the other councillors seemed more intent on knocking each other down a peg instead of focusing on the issue.

“It cannot be denied that the salarians breached our laws by keeping the Shanti secret with the prospect of using them for their own devices,” Tevos said icily. “That transgression cannot be ignored.”

“That’s enough!” shouted Terra, and it startled them all. “Isn’t that a huge dose of hypocritical, Councillor?”

Kaidan decided that maybe he could enjoy this after all, but whatever the fallout might be from this, he was sure as hell going to stand beside Terra as a unified front. “Need we remind you of the prothean beacon your people hid on Thessia?” he said, coolly. “The one you didn’t reveal until your own planet was on the verge of destruction?”

Tevos looked appropriately shamed, and he almost felt bad. Almost. “That was a mistake that we hope we have learned from.”

“And as soon as she realised where the answers could be, Dalatrass Narra co-operated fully, and in doing so, helped a race return to their lives instead of becoming Citadel refugees. As far as I’m concerned, she’s a leader who’s learning from those past mistakes too.” He slowly shook his head, not hiding his disappointment as he met the eyes of each of the alien council while Osoba looked on with interest. “What chance has the galaxy got if those at its helm can’t even get along? If there’s no real trust?”

Terra took up the figurative baton. “Without that trust, those like Wraith will be able to exploit every fracture until they’re fissures that nothing can breach.” Terra squared her shoulders, and Kaidan felt proud to be standing beside her, a partner in every way possible.

“You have to find that trust,” said Kaidan, resolutely. “Seal those fractures for good. Because you’re more than just your races representatives. You’re the figure-head of a united galaxy. One that should have each other’s backs, no matter what.”

“You’re _supposed_ to be examples: now act like it,” ordered Terra, like they were nothing more than wayward subordinates.

There was a long silence as glances exchanged before landing back on them. He held his breath, but Kaidan couldn’t find any regret for rebuking the Councillors.

It was Valern who spoke first. “Thank you. We should not have needed reminding of our purpose.”

“You challenge us to do better,” nodded Sparatus, his posture straightening, like he was preparing to measure up.

“And we will respond accordingly, and with true intent,” added Tevos, her head bowing slightly in deference.

Shock left both Kaidan and Terra mute at first, and it was their turn to stare at each other. Even Osoba looked dumbfounded.

“You were correct,” Tevos responded, by way of explanation. “Wraith manipulated us all in a way that should not have been possible.”

“It will take work on all sides, but we are motivated,” said Valern.

Osoba shifted. “I welcome that, and will do my part.” He looked back towards Kaidan and Terra, with a ghost of a satisfied smile. “Now, shall we return to the pressing issue? … While it’s impossible for us to ascertain the cause behind the communication black-out on Rannoch, I’m prepared to accept your new evidence regarding the identity of Wraith as a yahg.”

“I agree,” said Sparatus. “Though you have yet to fully answer how they were able to get around the geth, I refuse to make the same mistakes in not trusting your instincts in this. The both of you, more than anyone here, have earned our respect and faith.”

The four councillors nodded at each other.

“As such,” said Tevos, “you’ll have every resource made available to you as you request it.”

Everything had gone surreal, and Kaidan could barely believe what he’d just heard. No irrefutable evidence required…. Terra didn’t seem to know how to react either. They’d expected an unwinnable fight, but what they’d gotten was an actual helping hand.

“Uh…Thank you,” Kaidan said, finally.

“It has taken us too long, but we are learning,” allowed Tevos.

“Keep us apprised of the situation on Rannoch,” said Valern.

“We will.”

“We will ensure fleets are ready to respond should you need them,” vowed Sparatus.

Tevos looked troubled. “As for the yahg: it is unfortunate that we will become embroiled in another battle with them. It sets a precedent that will make any future possibility of co-operation that much harder to attain.”

“They’ve proven they’re a danger, even whilst on their own planet,” debated Sparatus. “They’re not just going to go away.”

“Such an arrogant species is unlikely ever to be willing to consider themselves our equals, anyway,” added Osoba.

“It is a sad circumstance,” said Valern, “but we have little choice when they are prepared to take our lives so readily.”

“Maybe there’s another solution,” reasoned Terra.

Sparatus looked dubious. “Such as?”

Kaidan fought the urge to shake his head at that. The Council really needed to look at them as more than just gun-toting soldiers looking to blow everything up. “Out-smart them.” Kaidan pressed his lips together at how easy he’d just made that sound. “We just need to work out how.”

-o-O-o-

Entering the bay, Shepard was struck by how Normandy seemed framed by the viewing window like a piece of art.

In front of the window, clutched together, Altair stood with her head on Joker’s shoulder as they looked out, certainly appreciating the scene as much as Shepard was. It made a beautiful picture of the two of them, and Shepard captured it on her omnitool.

Strolling past the oblivious new couple, she and Kaidan paused at the airlock.

“You’ve got to feel sorry for them,” Kaidan said, quietly. “We know what that feels like.”

“Yeah,” she sighed. She really did feel awful, but this was the reality of love when you had a galaxy to help protect. Then something occurred to her. “Just give me a second.”

With a nod and a small smile that inferred he knew her cogs were turning, Kaidan walked through the airlock. Unable to resist, Shepard admired the retreating form of her husband – or more specifically his perfectly formed ass - before the closing hatch denied her fun.

“Shit. I never thought this would be so hard.” Joker’s sombre admission reached her ears as she approached. “It’s not like it’s forever or anything. Just…who knows how long.”

For most, it would be weeks. Maybe even months. Shepard knew she and Kaidan were lucky in comparison. As Spectres and high-ranking personnel, they were given a great dispensation when it came to assignments and shore-leave. Their breaking the rules over fraternisation had been over-looked because they’d gotten the job done – that job being saving the galaxy’s collective butts from the Reapers – and had become the Alliance’s poster couple, whether the brass liked it or not . But they _were_ the exception, unfair as it was. And while she had no intention of denying Joker and Altair happiness, it would be better for them both to keep their relationship quiet outside of the Normandy. Getting coinciding shore-leave would be nigh impossible for most under-the-radar Alliance couples – it’s why she could count on one hand the number of vacations she’d spent with _both_ her parents - but she and Hackett would be able to work something out for Joker and Altair, she was determined on that.

“Joker.” Though she’d said it softly, it ripped through their moment like a gunshot.

Joker actually sagged, but he didn’t break eye contact with Altair. “Coming Shepard.”

“Take care out there,” Altair ordered him. “And I’m sure I’ll be out there with you in no time. Hackett will want to be part of the action, right?” The young pilot looked beseechingly at Shepard.

“Of course,” Shepard assured her. But before she could continue, they’d phased her out to the periphery again, and she closed her mid-sentence mouth. Okay then….

“I’ll keep an eye out for you.” Joker kissed Altair, and Shepard retreated back to the airlock to give them privacy, unable to keep the smile off her face.

Finally, Joker tore himself away, visibly pained as he walked away from Altair; Shepard was damn near busting by the time Joker had trudged over to her. “Altair,” she called out, casually. “I understand that Admiral Hackett won’t be coming into dock anytime soon. If you haven’t received your official assignment from him yet, you should consider jumping aboard. But, it’s your choice of course.”

Joker stared at her, stunned silent, and Shepard practically witnessed his newly loved-up heart lifting.

Once she’d finished gasping into her hands, Altair found her voice. “Yes! Yes! Thank you, Ma’am!”

“We leave in thirty, so grab anything you need.” With a wink, Shepard walked through the airlock, and Joker followed her in once he’d done grinning stupidly back at his lover before she’d dashed for the exit.

“Now that’s the face of a man who’s had a good shore-leave,” said Garrus as he strolled up the CIC.

“The best,” answered Joker. “Barely saw the Citadel and almost broke my pelvis,” he said, proudly. “Many, many times.”

Garrus blinked at Joker as Shepard bit down on her laugh. “See, that there was way too much information. I don’t know why I talk to you anymore.” With that, he turned and went back.

Before he took his seat, Joker pulled her into a hug. “Thanks, Shepard.”

“It’s just postponing the inevitable,” she warned lightly, “but you’re welcome.” She stepped back, holding him at arms-length. “You look happy, Joker.”

It shouldn’t have been possible, but Joker’s grin widened. “I am. I feel like… I’m really _alive_.”

That alone made Shepard tear up. “It’s about time.”

“To get this ship warmed up and under way?” Joker teased, sinking into his seat with a satisfied exhale. “On it, Admiral.”

Her own reality hit her then, and it wiped her smile away. She had some goodbyes to make.

-o-O-o-

Hysterical laughter filled the air as Kaidan entered the cabin, and it immediately infected him.

The children were both under the bed-cover with Terra, clearly having a great time, and Kaidan wished it didn’t have to come to an end.

Gripping the bottom of the sheet, he whipped it away, revealing the three dishevelled people beneath it. Not that it did anything to quell the fun. Instead, Rorie and Nate laughed harder, and Kaidan couldn’t resist diving in and joining the tickly tumble they made. A few minutes wouldn’t make much difference, surely.

The delighted giggles intensified. These were the times he missed when they were apart: the simple fun they could have, just by being together.

“ _Uh, any ETA on the departure of the tiny people?_ ” interrupted Joker. _“I have their grandparents waiting for them outside my space, and they keep insisting on talking to me.”_ Kaidan caught the beginning of Altair’s quietly-horrified hush before Joker closed the comm.

He looked down at the little faces that didn’t lose their brightness the way his and Terra’s did. “It’s time to go,” he said, as upbeat as he could manage.

Rorie groaned. “Not yet! We haven’t helped Garrus cali-bate the main guns! It’ll go wrong if we don’t do it before we go!”

“ _No touching my ship!_ ” Joker barked.

“Sorry,” backed up Terra, “but grandma and grandpa are waiting. And there are a lot of people on Rannoch who might need our help.”

The huge vocal sigh meant Rorie was letting it go, and when Kaidan stood, he took Rorie with him as Terra scooped up Nate.

“When you come back, can we go planet-jumping?”

Kaidan and Terra both laughed at that. “Planet-jumping?”

“Uh huh! We go visit one place, and then we go to another, and then more!”

“Where do you think we should go?” asked Terra, following them into the elevator.

Apparently, their daughter had been thinking about it for a while, because she didn’t hesitate. “I want to go see Uncle Wrex on Two-Chuka, and Uncle Gus said we can go see his daddy on Pallyvan, and then we could go to that place where the hanar live, because they have lots of beaches, and I can make Nate a sand-castle, and then we can go to Earth and play in grandma and grandpa’s apple trees, and we should take Auntie Lara and Eden to Tes… Fess-“

“Thessia?” Kaidan suggested, and she nodded enthusiastically.

“Because she misses it, but she keeps forgetting to go. And I want to whisper all my secrets to all the flowers there!”

“Wow. That’s quite a list!” Kaidan smoothed down her errant hair, and glanced at Terra. “You know, I think that sounds pretty great. I think we should do that.”

“I think so too,” smiled Terra, before she slipped on a playful frown. “But just how many secrets do you have, Aurora Alenko!?”

Rorie chuckled cheekily. “I’m going to think up lots when I’m waiting for you and daddy to get back.”

The CIC opened before them, and their goodbyes were swift but no easier for it. With waves from Rorie, and Nate over his grandmother’s shoulder, they were gone, and Normandy pulled away from dock.

He was leaving two parts of himself behind, and his chest ached at the thought. Terra’s hand slipped into his, and he squeezed it as she offered her support. Then he could sense them at the edge of his mind, like little bright giggles shining through a window, and he let them in with a laugh.

It was as though they were on the ship again, their vibrant spirits bouncing excitedly around before they settled and focused. The warmth of their ‘hug’ chased away the ache, and he thanked Terra for showing them that.

Eventually, distance broke the connection between them and the kids, but he wasn’t alone. Terra was still there. As they became aware of each other and the fact that they were away from innocent minds, they opened up further.

Terra’s hand gripped his tighter, tugging him back to the elevator, and he didn’t need to read her mind; it would be saying the same thing as his:

They had time to spare before they arrived at Rannoch.

**-o-O-o-**


	30. Chapter 30

Shepard stepped into the shuttle bay - the last deck on her rounds. It was busier than usual down here. Asides, from the usual crew, Jack was sitting on James and Knox’s workstation, her legs dangling as she fiddled uninterestedly with the tools and gun parts left out on the bench. Knox was punishing the punch-bag, and Garrus was with Cortez, their attention on the sand-tiger’s guns and engines, respectively.

She went over to them first. “How’s she looking?”

“Beautiful,” responded Cortez. “Just running through some diagnostics, but she’s in perfect health.”

“Well,” chimed in Garrus, “there could be improvements.”

“Let me guess: a little calibration required on the guns?” Shepard teased.

“You’ve got it.”

“Well, I’m sure Joker will be relieved you’re not messing with his ship.”

“Improving, Shepard. And Joker should be grateful.”

“Hey Shep, have you seen Vega on your travels?” called out Jack. “He was getting me a snack, but I could have gone to the Citadel and back in the time it’s taken him,” she grumbled.

Walking over, Shepard leaned her hip on the bench beside Jack. “He was definitely busy in the kitchen. He’s making enough to feed a small biotic army. Hope you’re hungry.”

“In more ways than one,” Jack answered, suggestively.

That sent Shepard’s thoughts Kaidan’s way. Mind-blowing sex took on a whole new meaning now. Their latest union had been…. There were no words to describe it. But the memory of it alone was enough to make her feel burning hot with arousal. The fact that she didn’t even need to be in the room with him to send him into a meltdown made her bite her lower lip between her teeth as she smiled to herself. And he was right in the middle of the Mess at the moment….

_Don’t you dare._

Shepard laughed at Kaidan’s warning. His smoky voice curled over her, dark and potent, yet she could feel his amusement like its light vibrated through her. _I’ll behave. For now._

Garrus cleared his throat, and she realised he had come over and was staring at her. “You’re talking to your husband again, aren’t you? Care to share, for us mentally-challenged people.” Garrus frowned. “No wait, that didn’t come out right.”

Jack laughed. “In your case, you could be right.”

“Try ‘mentally-unlinked’,” suggested Knox, and he threw himself into another flurry of punches.

“Damn it!” cursed Garrus. “That’s sounds much better. Why couldn’t _I_ have said that?”

Jack smirked. “We’ve been through that: you’re ‘challenged’.” She drew out the last word while circling her finger at her temple.

“Hey, I like a challenge,” said James eagerly, coming in mid-conversation. “Grubs up, Bella. Better go grab a plate before Alenko eats it all. So, what’s the challenge?”

Jack rolled her eyes. “To go catch the stick the right end.”

Trying to keep a straight face, Shepard sat in the space Jack vacated.

“Stick?” said Garrus and James in unison, and Jack walked out, cracking up.

“For the record: your bond-mate is odd,” Garrus said, once the elevator had taken the biotic out of earshot.

“Yeah,” grinned James. “She’s great. Keeps me on my toes.”

Garrus looked down at James’ feet. “What has Jack got to do with how you walk?”

Shepard smothered her mouth with her hand.

“Nah, man. You’re getting the wrong end of the-.” James’ face lit up. “Aah. Stick! I get it now!”

“I’ve got to get back to Palaven, where everything makes sense,” Garrus muttered, with a scowl in James’ direction. “I’m going back to the Battery, where I can be _alone._ You humans are insane.” With that, he started out.

“I prefer mentally-challenged!” laughed Shepard at his back.

“ _Admiral, I’ve got Dr T’Soni for you. Putting her through to the war-room,_ ” informed Altair, and Shepard gestured for Cortez to join her, then headed after Garrus, who was holding the elevator for them.

“Think everything’s alright?” Garrus shifted uneasily.

“Well, she’s able to communicate,” responded Cortez, “so that’s a good sign.”

“I meant on Rannoch.”

“I can’t see how it can be,” Cortez answered grimly.

Shepard nodded. “The question is: just how bad is it? At the moment, I’ve got the worst case scenario running through my head, and I can’t shake it.”

“A war-torn world with a lot of quarian casualties?” Garrus sighed. “Yeah. Me too. Who knows just what the yahg have been able to get the geth to do.”

“I don’t think the yahg have done anything more than set things in motion. Like Clay said before: it’s hard to hack the geth. But sadly, there’s a bad history between the two races. We’ve already seen it only takes one wrong move to revive old grievances and destroy trust.”

“And buildings. And lives.”

They moved from the elevator to the war-room, a sombreness travelling with them. Kaidan was already standing in front of the QEC, talking quietly with Liara, and Shepard realised that he’d closed part of himself off from her. By the time she, Cortez and Garrus were close enough to hear, their conversation ended. Interesting. Something told her it was about batarians.

“Liara. Do you have anything for us?”

“ _Rannoch is completely dark.”_

“Ah, yeah, we already know that, Liara,” Garrus teased. “I hate to break it to you, but you’re a little disappointing as the Shadow Broker.”

“ _Very funny, Garrus. I mean literally. I am in orbit over Rannoch’s main city during its night cycle-.”_

“That will explain the darkness then. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

Shepard nudged Garrus with her hip. If he carried on like that, Liara would dis-own him. As it was, the unamused asari continued as though he hadn’t said a word.

 _“Light from its cities should be visible, even from this distance. Yet there is nothing._ ”

“Damn,” Kaidan cursed. “Did your probes pick anything up?”

 _“My first probe went dead as soon as it passed into Rannoch’s atmosphere_.”

“Just like the geth patrol ship.” Shepard wondered about that. “What could possibly cut through a geth ship’s defences so quickly, _and_ detect something as small as a probe?”

“ _The probe did manage to capture a huge spike in energy milliseconds before it went down_.”

“Some kind of overload?” considered Kaidan.

“ _That is what I thought too, so I sent a succession of probes. They also lost power - one after another, at thirty second intervals.”_

“Now that’s intriguing,” muttered Garrus.

 _“I believe that there is some kind of continuous pulse being emitted from the planet that is disabling all power systems, ground to air._ ”

“Sounds like the pulse the leviathans used,” frowned Cortez.

Garrus looked at Shepard, cautiously. “We _did_ wipe out the last of the leviathans, right?”

“Absolutely…. As far as I know, anyway.”

Garrus’ head fell forward, chin on his chest. “Ruined it.”

“I don’t think you need to worry about leviathans,” said Kaidan. “This pulse is clockwork regular; that suggests it’s originating from a machine.”

“But did the geth do this? Or are they victims?” asked Cortez.

“Or both,” intoned Shepard. Black and white didn’t apply here; not when Wraith was involved. “The only way we’ll know is by getting down there.”

“And how are we going to do that in one piece with those pulses going off?” mused Garrus.

“The shuttle’s going to drop like a brick the minute it’s hit,” agreed Kaidan.

“The sand-tiger.” Shepard looked at Cortez, who nodded back.

“Am I missing something?” frowned Garrus. “Won’t she suffer the same fate as the shuttle?”

“But she won’t drop,” Cortez answered, confidently. “She’s the perfect shape to glide.”

“Sounds dreamy, but it’s the landing that’s the killer.”

A proud smile emerged on the shuttle pilot’s face. “Except the sand-tiger’s got a bit of krogan in her.”

“Say what now?”

“She has a redundant back-up system. So long as we don’t engage it until just before we hit ground, it’ll give us what we need to slow her down and soften the landing before she’s hit with another pulse.”

“You hope. It’s a crazy plan.”

“ _With Shepard involved, ‘crazy’ comes as standard,_ ” smiled Liara. “ _If there is anything I can do to assist, let me know. Until then, I will continue to monitor for any changes while I await your arrival._ ”

“Thank for the intel, Liara.” Signing off, Shepard stepped out of the QEC and headed over to the central console, the others fanning out around it _._

Garrus made an unhappy sound in his throat as he braced himself over the panel. “I don’t like this. Taking the sand-tiger means only two seats.”

“What choice do we have?” reasoned Kaidan.

“We certainly can’t leave Rannoch like this,” said Shepard. “They need help.”

“I suppose this is a mission for our two Spectres, then?” Garrus, said, disheartened.

“Actually, I think only one of us should go,” said Kaidan. “As soon as we descend, our comms are going to go dead. There’ll be no way of transmitting what’s happening back to the ship - except through us.” He indicated between himself and Shepard.

He was right. The spores created a natural link that couldn’t be affected by outside influences. They didn’t even have to worry about it being detected, either. It was perfect. “You?” she asked, guardedly.

Kaidan straightened. Whisky eyes studied her just before he opened himself up to her. “No. You.”

Shepard was startled. She’d been expecting him to want to keep her off the ground for as long as possible. She’d been expecting to have to fight her corner on this. Pulled deep into him, Shepard felt his sincerity and unwavering faith in her, and she regretted thinking he might be over-protective.

 _Don’t get me wrong: I hate you going down there into who knows what, but I don’t doubt you’re ready for it._ “I have tech skills, but they’re nothing compared to yours,” Kaidan explained out loud, for the benefit of the others. “Between the geth and that pulse, you may need them.”

“And your back-up?” Garrus said hopefully. “You’ll need more tech skills, right? Edi’s out of the running with those pulses, and the salarian twins will probably stop breathing if they’re not together, so….”

“I think you’ve made your case,” grinned Shepard. “Besides, there’s no Shepard without Vakarian.”

“True.” He clapped his hand to her shoulder. “The team is back. _Duo_. No wait, Cortez is going to be there.”

Smiling, Shepard hooked her arm through Kaidan’s as they began to head out. “Steve, I’ll want you armoured and armed for this one. We could need you.”

“Understood.”

“Joker. ETA?”

“ _Approximately three hours twenty –three minutes, Admiral._ ”  

She tightened her grip on Kaidan’s arm, her head falling to rest on his shoulder. _Thank you. For believing in me._

 _Without question._ Then Kaidan’s warmth turned to something far more carnal, and it made Shepard’s legs feel weak. _But we’ve got approximately three hours and twenty-three minutes, and I could really do with something to keep my mind off the unknown danger you could be free-falling into…Admiral._ ”

Her skin flushed instantly as her body reacted to his suggestion. _I like the way you think, General._ Shepard pulled back, letting Garrus and Cortez pass them, and tugged Kaidan into the conference room while the others exited, oblivious. “Edi, seal the war-room.”

 _“Yes, Shepard.”_ There was an amusement in Edi’s tone they both ignored.

Kaidan’s hands were already on the skin of her waist, his lips grazing her throat, surprising her once more as he pushed her backwards to the table.

“No hesitation at our location?” Her voice came out breathless.

He kissed his way back up to her mouth, his eyes open and captivating her with the depth of his desire. “You’re here. It’s perfect.”

Shivering at his words murmured over lips, Shepard marvelled at the way he’d nearly undone her with four words. And they weren’t even using the full extent of their connection yet.

She was so damned lucky. And if having the worst of experiences thrown her way was the galaxy’s way of demanding payment to balance out all these blessings she’d been given, she’d endure them gladly. Anything was worth feeling like this now.

Then Kaidan overloaded her senses with the wonderful entirety of him, and the galaxy became a distant place.

-o-O-o-

-o-O-o-

The bridge was getting crowded. Kaidan had quickly been joined by James and Chakwas, and when Clay had appeared tentatively at the opening, Kaidan had encouraged him in.

Everyone was focused on the radar screen, and the dot that represented the sand-tiger as it travelled towards the planet.

“ _Entering Rannoch’s atmosph-.”_ Cortez’s ended abruptly as the comm died, and the sand-tiger disappeared from Normandy’s ‘view’.

While the others began to look antsy, Kaidan was concentrating on his connection to Terra. Despite the increasing distance, it was like she was still on the ship with him, and while it was strange, it was also comforting.

_I’m guessing you’ve lost us now. All systems are offline. Considering the usually dire result of that, it’s amazingly calm up here._

Everything he was sensing from Terra backed up what she was saying. “So far, so good,” Kaidan relayed to the others, who were now staring at _him_ in place of the useless radar.

Several long minutes went by, and tension began to creep in as he envisaged them hurtling to the ground.

 _We’re still good,_ Terra assured him, and Kaidan reined in what he was emitting. The last thing she needed was to feel his unease. _Buildings look intact. No obvious signs of destruction. But we’re still a long ways up._ There was a trace of impatience. _This gliding business is very slow. Garrus is already complaining he’s bored._

Kaidan laughed softly. _He should enjoy it while it lasts. Could be a very different story soon._

_Yeah. Wait…I’ve got some smoke, but it’s on the outskirts of the city. … Looks like ship debris. Probably that geth patrol ship. … Hold on. We’re coming in to land, fast._

“They’re about to touch down,” broadcasted Kaidan, holding his breath as the tension came from Terra now.

There was a hitch within her. From what he could sense from Terra, the landing wasn’t pleasant, or quick. He had images of them skidding their way across the ground somewhere in or around the city, and he hoped nothing would get in their way. Then there was a brief feeling of disorientation, but no sign of pain, followed by a profound relief that allowed him to breathe again.

 _All in one piece,_ Terra reported.

“They’re on the ground. All okay.” His announcement did little to lift the anxiety in the air. How could it? The ground team were in a potentially hostile environment, and if they needed aid, there was nothing those of them on the Normandy could do about it until that pulse was dealt with.

All they could do was wait, and hope.

-o-

“Is it always this…dusty?” asked Garrus.

The red-hued dust from the sandstone-like environment covered everything, piled up high in some places.

Shepard looked back at their tracks imprinted in the dust. The sand-tiger was a small battered dot in the distance, and she’d be quite happy never to put it through that sort of landing again. “I understand that dust-storms here are not an uncommon occurrence, though I’ve never seen one, or the after-effects. But then, I could count my visits here on one hand.”

Moving through the outlying streets towards the city proper, Shepard was increasingly unnerved by the quiet. The sun confirmed it was midday on Rannoch; they should have been hearing the sounds of a busy metropolis.

Where she would have liked to have a weapon firmly in her hands in preparation, they were confined to their holsters, sparking every thirty seconds as the pulse rendered them inoperable. Even their omnitools were useless, which meant not only were they without their offensive programs, but also basic shield defences.

 _Terra?_ Kaidan’s presence quietly worrying away within her, was soothing, and sweet. She smiled to herself.

_Just feeling a little creeped out. It’s like a ghost town._

“Regardless of who did this, why would anyone disable everything like this?” Garrus muttered.

“Debilitating doesn’t begin to describe it,” agreed Shepard, as their vulnerability screamed out at her.

“I’m not sure if that means we’re at serious risk, or completely safe,” mused Cortez.

“If this is down to the geth, then they’d have to have some kind of counter-measure,” said Garrus, “or they’d all be just as fried.”

Rounding a building, they all halted at the sight before them.

Covered in dust to match their surroundings, were geth, shuddering in place as they periodically came alive as their systems recovered, only to get overloaded again by the next pulse. Moving forward, Shepard looked down other streets to see more geth. All had weapons in their hands. _We’ve got geth… but they’re being affected by the pulses._

 _So it’s the quarians doing._ Kaidan’s disbelief came through. _What the hell could have made them plunge themselves into complete darkness over? No lighting, no heat. Without power the hospitals wouldn’t function. This action may well have already claimed quarian lives._

_They may not have felt they had a choice. The geth are all armed._

“Do you think the geth were being controlled to attack?” wondered Garrus.

“Maybe. We already know they were being used. I just know that Wraith’s behind this.” Shepard circled, looking for any sign of life, but there wasn’t a quarian soul anywhere to be seen, and no other footprints marred the dust-covered ground. It indicated the storm had blown in sometime after the trouble here. “I don’t see any evidence of gunfire. No quarian casualties on the streets. No blood. First indications are that this was a pre-emptive strike by the quarians.”

“But where _are_ they?” said Cortez.

This time, Shepard focused on anything out of place. Someone’s lunch was decaying on a table outside a café. A child’s toy was abandoned in the middle of a walkway. “They were getting along, doing everyday things. Something spooked them.”

“They ran.” Garrus looked around them. “They’re communal, so they would congregate together. In these numbers, we’re talking about several large buildings. Easier to defend everyone if their soldiers only have to protect a handful of sites.”

“Wait a minute.” Cortez was staring intently at the various geth. “They’re all aimed in the same direction.”

Taking in a bigger swath of geth, Shepard could see he was right.

“So what’s in that direction?” He pointed to where they all seemed to be aiming.

“Uh….Damn, I really need to visit here more often,” cursed Shepard. _Kaidan. I need to know what’s east of the city._ She waited for him to relay back Clay’s response.

_Archive museum. Education campus. There’s a large hive hub. And lots of government and prime-estate residential buildings._

Shepard could see the high-rises towering up in the distance. _Anything that could be a likely source of that pulse?_

_The campus. It’s home to their most advanced tech facilities._

“There’s a tech lab at the campus,” Shepard communicated. Starting forward at a run, Shepard followed Clay’s directions through Kaidan.

-o-

Kaidan watched Clay sway in agitation from one foot to the other, looking far too old for his age as worry etched itself into his face. “I’m sure your father will be fine.”

Clay stilled, then nodded.

“Do you talk with him much?”

“ _He_ makes contact with _me_ , mostly. I’m not used to him being so interested in my life. Makes it awkward, to be honest.”

“At least he’s trying.”

“I know. It’s just hard to see him so desperate to converse like our relationship was normal. Like what came before didn’t happen.” Clays’ eyes dropped. “Like I hadn’t had to raise a gun to him to make him listen. It would be easier if he stopped pretending; to let it develop naturally.”

“Sounds like he’s trying too hard. Maybe you should tell him what you told me. Take off the pressure.”

“Yeah,” Clay sighed, then looked out of the cockpit window to the planet below. “Do you really think everyone’s alright down there?”

“It’s a strange one, to be sure, but so far there’s nothing to suggest anyone’s come to any harm.”

“Good.”

_Closing in on the campus._

At Terra’s update, Kaidan turned away from Clay and listened.

-o-

The campus looked just as vacant of organic life as the rest of the city, but closer inspection of the glazed entrance through their rifle scopes showed signs of a blockade.

Garrus lowered his sniper rifle. “There has to be people in there. How are we going to get through?”

“Make a lot of noise,” Cortez suggested, simply.

“Not like they could confuse us with the geth,” shrugged Shepard.

Shouting seemed at odds with the resounding quiet, and it intensified her edginess. Garrus even began to face outwards, like he expected their noise to attract some kind of unwanted attention from who knew what. But eventually, there was movement inside, and the barricade was broken down enough to reveal some relieved-looking quarian soldiers.

A single door was opened, and they slipped inside before the barricade was replaced.

“Admiral Shepard. Vin’Shoral,” greeted the marine. He wore his mask, but Shepard knew it was merely part of his armour, rather than essential to his survival. “This way, Ma’am. Sirs. Admirals Koris and Raan will want to speak with you immediately.” He began walking towards a wide staircase, and they followed.

As they went, the muted sounds of civilians met Shepard’s ears - some chatting quietly, some fretting louder, children playing or wailing. There were a lot of people taking refuge here.

“They were certain someone would notice our blackout,” continued Shoral, “but we’re all surprised you came so soon. Glad you made it down here without injury too. Thought for sure it was a one-way trip to death with that damn pulse. We were bunkered down for a long-haul. Nerves are taut, especially amongst the civilians.”

“No kidding. This is a severe response.”

“It was considered necessary at the time,” sighed Shoral. “But I’ll let the Admirals explain.”

They ascended several flights of stairs until they entered a lab. In the centre of one of the rooms was a machine that looked like a transmitter, almost reaching to the ceiling. A steady flash pulsed at its apex. This was the source of the pulse. A protective field encircled it from just below the tip, and encompassed the eezo generator it was linked up to, and a working terminal.

Around it, Admiral Koris was hunched over a desk with his head in his hands, while Raan was in deep discussion with the once-Admirals Gerrel and Xen.

“Would someone like to tell me what the hell is going on here?”

Koris and Raan practically stumbled over to her.

“Shepard! I- I can’t tell you how relieved I am to see you here!” rambled Koris. “We figured anyone attempting to approach would simply fall foul to the pulses!”

“We’re resourceful, but a geth patrol weren’t so lucky.”

“That’s regrettable,” Raan bowed her head.

“Answers anyone?”

“We messed up, Shepard,” said Gerrel, and the regret in his face surprised her.

“We?”

“He means Zaal’Koris and I, Admiral,” Raan said solemnly. “This was our decision, and the fault lies with us.”

“A terrible, terrible mistake,” muttered Koris.

“I still say it’s an opportunity,” reasoned Xen, but the others ignored her.

“We received a message marked urgent, from Han’s son, Clay,” started Raan.

“Not Clay,” stated Gerrel, adamantly. “He would never do anything like this. Someone _pretending_ to be him.”

Raan bent her head in deference before resuming. “It warned that a rogue element had managed to plant a virus within the geth, and an attack was imminent. There was even coding attached to prove it.”

“It was right there for us to see,” reasoned Koris, almost feverishly, “a virus embedded within the geth’s communication systems, being transmitted throughout the hives to infect all geth.”

Gerrel moved within the dome’s protective field and picked up a datapad, offering it out to her. Shepard passed into the field - her omnitool coming online and with it her shield - and took it. She didn’t need to give it more than a cursory look to see it was the unencrypted version of what Clay had shown them, and she exchanged an affirming look with Garrus and Cortez. “This was nothing you needed to worry about.”

“We realise that now, but at the time…. We panicked,” Raan confessed. “Our people were too spread out. Our forces aren’t large enough to fight off the geth. There was no way we could get them all to safety, and launching into a gunfight would have cost lives.”

“It was the last thing we wanted anyway,” said Koris. “If the geth were compromised, then it wasn’t their choice to attack. We were trying to preserve the geth as well.”

“So they called me,” said Xen, calmly. “I’ve been teaching here, since it was deemed I was no longer fit to be an admiral,” she added snidely. “My students and I had been working on this project, with the aid of the geth, to create a device that could detect dust-storms and give us an early warning. And it worked.” She proudly gestured to the transmitter. “Frequent pulses, powered by the mass energy, fed back detailed information every hour on the planet’s weather system giving us a complete picture. It was then processed on our terminals, which turned it into predictions. We’ve had three storms sweeping over us since we created the device, and we were ready for every one of them.”

“Ready?” queried Shepard.

“We’ve long had a dome-like shield that can encompass the city, which acts like a filter,” explained Raan. “It prevents the sand from hitting the city. However, it’s a huge power drain, so we’re unable to maintain it constantly, and powering it up takes time. We’ve often been hit by storms we simply couldn’t defend against in time.”

“My device has saved us from a lot of disruption,” Xen declared.

“Until now. You adapted it.” Garrus eyed the transmitter suspiciously.

“You have to understand,” appealed Koris. “We thought we were under threat. This was the best way to keep the geth from harming anyone while we worked out a way to remove the virus controlling them.”

“Except it’s not that kind of virus, is it?” Shepard looked at their answer to their perceived threat. An answer that had been devised to save both their races. She was actually impressed at their effort.

“No.” Xen sighed. “It appears that all it’s doing is simply condensing information into tiny, undetectable caches using an outmoded geth communication network.”

“That’s when we realised that whoever sent the message had just been using the geth to exchange untraceable communications,” finished Raan, sorrowfully.

“Wraith,” provided Shepard. “That’s the moniker by which your message’s real sender goes by. He’s a yahg. And they’ve managed to use that old network through the geth patrolling over their planet, to create havoc all over the galaxy.”

Koris sank down at the desk again, stunned. “This was just some evil plan to derail our peaceful existence with the geth, and it’s worked.”

“Not yet, it hasn’t,” Shepard said firmly. “Wraith expected you to instantly take up arms. He expected a war to ensue. That’s not what’s happened. You tried to find another solution instead.”

“But the geth don’t see it that way,” intoned Gerrel, and once again Shepard was taken aback by his lack of fight. This was a man who’d learnt something since his last conflict with the geth.

“Originally, the pulse was set at minute intervals,” said Raan, “but the geth could repair in that time. And they immediately reached for their weapons and started convening on us here. Eventually, even with the frequent pauses, they’d have gotten to us.”

“That’s why we had to increase the output to thirty seconds,” defended Xen. “It overloads them again just as they finish repairing.”

“Once we realised the geth would attack, we began gathering our civilians into the largest of our structures and barricaded ourselves in preparation for an attack once the generator failed.” Raan looked at the generator, grimly. “We have a week at most.”

“We should have taken this to them at the start,” railed Koris. “They could have had a chance of isolating the ‘virus’ themselves. Or we should have taken the time to look at the virus properly before acting. Now we’ve gone down a path we can’t turn back from.”

“Or,” began Xen, “we can engineer a true virus to gain control of the geth ourselves. That way, we have nothing to fear from them once we switch off the pulse.”

“You haven’t changed a bit, have you?” Biting back her urge to punch the quarian female, Shepard faced the transmitter and made a decision. “I’m turning it off.”

“Shepard! We can’t!” stammered out Koris.

“Didn’t you hear what we said?” exclaimed Raan. “The geth began to come for us!”

“They think you’ve attacked them. Yes, I saw that. But there’s no point in delaying the inevitable now. The only way to resolve this… is to face them.”

“We’ll be slaughtered!” Xen protested, and she moved in front of her creation.

“Not necessarily.” Raan began to pace, her words rushing out as she sought a strategy. “This building will be the focus of the attack. Before Shepard turns it off, we can send out messengers to the other sites; pull our soldiers back to this point. Amass them here as a defensive stand.”

“No, Shala,” said Gerrel, solemnly. “We need to show them it was a mistake. By raising our hands, free of weapons.”

“Ridiculous!” scoffed Xen.

“He’s right,” seized Koris. “This cannot be allowed to degrade to war.”

“Though I fear it’s too late,” said Raan, miserably.

Shepard braced her hands on the table Koris sat at. “You listen to me. All of you. I will _not_ allow Wraith to succeed.” She looked intently into their eyes, needing them to see the strength of her conviction. “Keep your people back. Not a shot is to be fired unless it’s over my dead body. Understood?”

Koris rose, finding whatever he’d needed to start fighting for what he’d started, but it was Gerrel who spoke.

“I will ensure it, Shepard. I may no longer be an admiral, but I trained these soldiers. They’ll listen to me.”

Garrus sidled closer to her. “You’re really going out there, aren’t you?”

“I’m a neutral party here,” Shepard reasoned. “Cortez. Stay with the admirals.” Her eyes flicked in Xen’s direction, and Cortez gave an imperceptible nod. Her trust in Xen not interfering in some way was low and she wanted him keeping an eye on her. “Garrus-.”

“The only way it’s going to play out is with me at your back,” stated Garrus, making it clear it wasn’t up for debate, and Shepard allowed a small smile her friend’s way. As if she’d have it any other way.

“I will also go with you,” said Koris. “This is our mistake. I should be there to face the consequences.”

Interfacing with the terminal, Shepard downloaded a copy of the message Wraith had sent with its attachment to her omnitool. “Okay. Let’s do this.” Turning to the transmitter, Shepard frowned at Xen as she remained in the way.

“I refuse to believe this is the best option. We have over a hundred civilians right here in this building alone. You’re risking all of our fates on nothing more than _faith_ that the geth will listen to you!”

“They’re smart, logical, and _fair_. You should know that by now. Move aside.” Shepard gave Xen a hard stare until the quarian side-stepped with an irritated sigh.

Opening the panel situated at its centre, Shepard tapped into the system only to be hindered by a security screen. She pierced Xen with a stare. “Your access codes.”

In response, Xen merely folded her arms, ignoring the furious complaints from the others.

Garrus unlatched his rifle, willing to do what it took to convince Xen to co-operate, but Shepard waved him off. Instead, she surprised Xen by hacking in. It was an impressively tight security system, but not solid enough to keep her out, and she was soon bypassing the lock screen.

Xen started forward, but Cortez and Gerrel restrained her. “If you stop that pulse the geth will be free to repair and resume their advance! You’re dooming us!”

Doubt reared up within Shepard, but it was quickly pushed away by Kaidan’s belief she was on the right path. It was all she needed.

With one push of a button, the pulse ceased.

**-o-O-o-**


	31. Chapter 31

There was a pause in the room at the anti-climax, like they’d all expected the end of the pulses to bring about instant Armageddon. But it _was_ potentially on its way.

Spinning on the ball of her foot, Shepard started for the lab’s exit, Garrus and Koris falling in behind her as Gerrel began barking orders.

 _Pulse is down._ Though she could have used the comms now, she preferred the more intimate link to Kaidan.

_Ready to provide back-up on your word._

Something warm and appreciative stirred, and Shepard pictured him in the shuttle bay, armed and armoured with the rest of the team, just waiting to join her. He didn’t need her to give him the okay - as a Spectre, he could do whatever he deemed fit - but he was conceding to her judgement, and it was telling her that if this didn’t work they’d need an army to deal with the carnage. She kept that to herself, though he would already know the reality of it; the only thing he and the others could hope to do was get Cortez and Garrus out of here. _Understood. Stand by._

Heading down to the ground floor was quicker with the elevators working, and they emerged to the sight of quarian soldiers manning the barricades, their now-working weapons aimed outwards. And they looked twitchy.

“Garrus. Take position here.” She gestured at the centre of the barricade, then vaulted over it before he could protest. Koris clambered over after her, and they exited the doors, emerging onto the campus’s substantial courtyard.

She heard them before she saw them: a crescendo of unrelenting synthetic footsteps marching from all directions. Then they began to appear from the myriad of pathways that cut between buildings.

“Holy shit.” Shepard halted, nearly losing her composure. The geth seemed legion as they converged on her location from every side with weapons leading, and Koris actually stepped back.

“Shepard…”

“Stay calm.” It was something she was trying to tell herself too. She’d already freaked out Kaidan. Perhaps she should have stuck with comms and closed herself off so he’d have been none the wiser to her inner turmoil, but she’d liked having him there, like a soothing ethereal presence.

It took all her restraint not to reach for her weapon. But behind her, poised on the other side of the barricade, Garrus _would_ have his weapon trained, and she could only imagine what he was thinking right now. In fact, she was surprised he hadn’t voiced it already.

“ _Spirits Shepard!_ ” Here it was. “ _Will you do my heart a favour and negotiate from_ cover _! I can’t back you up when they’re flanking you like this!_ ”

Her heart warmed at his concern for her, while she regretted putting him through it. “I have to show trust. Your role now isn’t to have my six, Garrus.” No, if the geth decided to fire, she’d be down before Garrus could do anything about it. There was a reason she’d placed him at the barricades, beyond keeping him out of the first line of fire. “Those quarian soldiers will be taking their lead from you now. They won’t react unless you do. And I know you’ve got nerves of steel.”

His sigh came through heavy and resigned. “ _No need to start with the flattery; I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it._ ”

She and Koris were practically encircled by geth now, and they filled the streets as far as she could see.

“Shepard, Admiral,” spoke a Prime, directly in front of her. “We greet you.”

“And you. Though it appears there’s some trouble.”

“Geth have been attacked by the Creators.” The Prime focused on Koris, managing to appear condemnatory even without the benefit of expression.

“It may seem that way to you, but it’s not as simple as that. Will you hear me out?”

The Prime’s attention returned to Shepard. “We will listen.”

Inhaling, Shepard began to explain the quarians side.

-o-

Kaidan stood in the middle of the shuttle bay, unable to relax. Before, feeling her calmness had eased some of the tension waiting created, but now…. He had her open comm link in his ear so he could hear every word as she spoke to the geth, in addition to their mental link, and he felt too damn far away. She was standing between the geth and the quarians. No matter how close she felt in his head, if she needed extraction, he was no good to her up her.

Gritting his teeth at the thought of her in the middle of that - a living shield for the quarians because she was probably the only thing that could save them from their own foolishness at this point - Kaidan quietly wished death on Chu’Tak. Because of him, they’d only _just_ averted war between the krogan and salarians; they’d only _just_ managed to keep the Council races’ leaders from suspecting each other of sabotage and breaking the union apart; they’d only _just_ saved Terra in time. Would their luck hold again?

Yet, this time, there _was_ something to be more hopeful about. The geth weren’t ruled by emotion like organics, and in some ways that made them a little more predictable.

“We’re not going down there?” asked Clay, who had volunteered to fly the shuttle, and was now confused at Kaidan’s order to hold.

“Let’s give Shepard time to talk the geth down. We don’t want to risk doing anything to rock the boat.” That last part made Clay frown, unable to understand the human phrase, but Kaidan didn’t take the time to explain. Though his words had been said with confidence, waiting was getting to him.

_It’ll be okay, Kaidan._

Terra’s assurance slid through his thoughts, reminding him they were still very much connected - and he was distracting her.

 _For what? It’s your job to worry, right?_ she teased, and it made him smile.

But in the next instant her equanimity faltered, and Kaidan’s pulse quickened. Something had just gone wrong.

-o-

Shepard was staring down a lot of gun-barrels, suddenly the target of every geth. It was a credit to Garrus that he hadn’t responded to that threatening move, and she was certain that if not for his cool head, the quarian soldiers would have opened fire.

Giving the geth the file with the message sent to the quarians had triggered this reaction, and she wasn’t sure why.

“Creator Clay’Gerrel is a part of your crew,” stated the Prime.

“Yes,” she said, uneasily, before remembering Wraith had posed at Clay to send it. She settled her thumping heart. Logic. “You know my past with the geth, and you know I would never support anything that wasn’t in both quarian _and_ geth interests. You also know Clay’s past. He fought against his own father to give you all a chance. So you need to trust me when I say that message didn’t come from him. But to fully understand, you need everything we’ve discovered before arriving here.”

“ _Transferring data,_ ” advised Edi, without prompting, and Shepard waited while they assimilated it.

 _Terra…_ Kaidan’s fear came through despite his attempts to contain it, and she did her best to reassure him it would turn out fine, even as the tension seeped into the muscles of her back, making them ache.

It was in these moments that every millisecond felt like a minute. She took in the geth units, large and small, that surrounded her, all tinged in the red dust of Rannoch so they looked like they’d risen from the ground itself, ready to cast judgement. _They have to see what we saw. The proof is in that data. It’s the only logical conclusion._ It was as much for herself as it was for Kaidan. If she was wrong, she would certainly die here on Rannoch.

…Maybe there was some strange justice in that. Tali had lost her life on Earth fighting to free them all. If Shepard failed here, it was only right that she go down on quarian soil….

When the swift movement came, Shepard’s heart jolted until her brain caught up with what she was seeing. As one, the geth had lowered their weapons, and Shepard breathed.

“We understand,” the Prime stated.

“Thank the ancestors.” Koris almost sagged against Shepard’s side. “Does this mean…it’s over?”

“There will be no conflict. However, the Creators actions cannot be ignored.”

Koris looked at Shepard with fearful uncertainty.

“What do you mean?” she asked, not so sure the answer was something she really wanted. Garrus had moved past the barricade to stand beside her, his weapon still in hand, but pointed down.

“Gathering consensus,” declared the Prime.

Every unit went still as they ‘conversed’ through their hubs, and all Shepard could do was watch and wonder what was going on. The muffled cry from a child made Shepard look over her shoulder to beyond the barricade. Some civilians had appeared behind the soldiers, in cautious curiosity. A female was quietly shushing her upset toddler; the child frightened by the geth.

That wasn’t the way it was supposed to be, and Shepard experienced a new hatred towards ‘Wraith’ for what he _had_ succeeded in doing.

“Consensus has been achieved.”

Shepard was pulled back to the Prime in front of her. “Over what?”

“Our future with the Creators. We are…grateful they attempted to preserve geth, but we were not trusted. We believe that mistrust prohibits further co-existence.”

“No! Please!” begged Koris, his face one of undisguised horror. “Not exile again!”

His panic threatened to infect Shepard, and a horrible feeling of failure began to creep in. “There has to be another way.” She didn’t like the desperation which had escaped into her voice.

“There is,” replied the Prime.

On a wave of relief, rational thought kicked in, allowing Shepard to anticipate the only logical answer. “The geth are leaving,” she said quietly.

“Leaving!?” Koris stepped forward, hands outstretched towards the geth like he was going to physically hold them back.

“Geth still seek peaceful relations,” explained the Prime, his even tone as-ever calm, “but this incident has proven it will not be achieved while we inhabit the same world. Rannoch belongs to the Creators. It provides the optimal environment for your survival. Geth do not require sustenance or air. With materials to build more ships we can survive off-world. Geth opinion is unanimous that this course is best for all.”

A geth flotilla, nomads just like the quarians had once been. While it made sense, Shepard couldn’t help the feeling of disappointment that it had come to this. It felt like a step back, yet maybe that’s what both sides needed. It would give the quarians a chance to stand on their own feet, and to assess their past actions. And while the quarians had once been forced from their planet through war, the geth were choosing to leave for the sake of peace. That had to be a step forward.

But she didn’t say anything more. Now that the threat had passed, her part was done. The situation was stabilised; the rest was up to the quarian leaders. “We’ll leave you to talk.”

As she lifted her hand to her comm, Koris stopped her.

“Shepard, I can’t begin to thank you. Again. I’m beginning to think we’ll never learn,” he added, sombrely.

Pressing her lips together in lieu of the reassuring words that eluded her, Shepard merely patted his shoulder. “Joker. Bring in the Normandy as close to the sand-tiger’s position as you can.”

“ _Aye, aye, Admiral._ ”

Raan appeared with Xen and Gerrel following close behind and Cortez bringing up the rear.

“We’ll ensure the transmitter is returned to its original purpose at once,” assured Raan. “And we will offer the geth whatever resources they need - with regret that their departure has been deemed necessary. We have failed you.” She looked at both the geth and Shepard as she said it.

“Geth believe that the error was in attempting to integrate too quickly,” said the Prime. “Organics are complicated. Geth do not blame you for acting with emotion, though we do not truly understand it. We still have much to learn.”

“I have every confidence the geth and quarians can work this through,” Shepard said finally. “Excuse us, but we need to begin focusing on Wraith.”

“The geth offer assistance should you require it.”

“As do we,” confirmed Raan. “This _Wraith_ tried to destroy us.” Her anger was evident on her delicate features, but Shepard needed cool heads when it came to dealing with the yahg; not that she was finding it easy, herself.

“I’ll let you know if I need you.” Walking forward, the geth parted for them, forming a long, living aisle.

“This is a new experience,” murmured Cortez as he matched her stride. “A slightly unsettling one considering what almost happened.”

“With you on that,” commiserated Garrus, eyeing the synthetics bordering them either side. “I think I had a dream like this once. Turned out there was an adoring elcor waiting for me at the end, and I had no escape.” Garrus shivered, while Shepard tried not to snigger at Cortez’s face.

“Actually, that was too much alcohol at Purgatory,” threw back Shepard, before revelling in sharing the story with Cortez. “He got claustrophobic in a ward corridor and was convinced the walls were actually geth armies pressing in on him. Then when the elevator at the end opened up with an elcor inside, he started bouncing off the walls shouting ‘no, no! I don’t want a bond-mate!’ It was truly hilarious,” she laughed along with Cortez. “Wish I’d thought to record it now.”

“I dispute that!” protested Garrus.

“Of course you do. Who wants to admit to losing their dignity so fabulously?”

“I’m ignoring you,” he grumbled at her.

Shepard laughed again. Garrus was hopeless at holding a grudge against his friends. His enemies on the other hand…. Feeling lighter, Shepard loved them both for their ability to inadvertently distract her.

Once they were free from the geth-passage, Cortez looked around, then grinned over at Garrus. “No elcor with bonding on their minds. You’re safe, Garrus. But tell me, is it an aversion to elcor you have, or a fear of commitment in general?”

Her turian friend glowered at Cortez. “Just wait, Cortez. One day, it’ll be you….”

“Some of us can handle their drink, Vakarian.”

“Ignoring you, too,” Garrus sniffed. “Shepard, seeing as they were all so grateful to you back there, couldn’t you have asked for a _ride_ back to the sand-tiger? I’m eager to get a few kicks in.” That was followed by a pointed look at Cortez.

“Ouch!” Cortez coughed out over his laughter.

“We’ve already got a ride,” smiled Shepard. That’s when the shuttle came overhead and lowered just ahead of them, the hatch sliding open to reveal the welcome sight of a very relieved Kaidan.

“Why can’t you use the comms like a normal person?” sighed out Garrus.

“Who wants to be normal, when you can be unique?” winked Shepard before she jogged to the shuttle and the handsome man waiting for her there.

Her hand slid into Kaidan’s, his strong fingers gripping her firmly and gently as he pulled at the same time as she pushed up. Their armours clashed together as he steadied her against him. She didn’t pull away. Instead, she enjoyed his proximity with its masculine aroma, and loving arms. Her gaze travelled over those drinkable eyes, the sexy stubble that always refused to be kept at bay for long, and greying temples she truly believed wouldn’t be there if not for her death. She stroked her fingers through it as the shuttle lifted away, grateful she hadn’t added more to it.

They sat themselves opposite Garrus and Cortez, shoulder pressed against shoulder, and Shepard loved the solid warmth of him. Being in his head was great, but his physical presence was better when it was a choice between one or the other.

“That was intense,” Kaidan murmured, studying her like he hadn’t seen her in weeks. “I’m quite happy _not_ being the comm link between you and the ship next time. It’s a pretty helpless feeling being up there.”

“Not much anyone could do down here, either,” moaned Garrus. “Not when a certain unique-someone chooses to walk right out into the midst of a geth invasion in the name of ‘trust’.”

“It worked,” defended Shepard.

“Luckily,” retorted Garrus.

“That wasn’t luck, it was common sense. And I thought you weren’t talking to me?” She grinned as he rolled his eyes and shook his head. At least turians didn’t go grey.

“Well, I don’t care what it was,” intervened Kaidan. “You came back in one piece, and that’s good enough for me.”

“Amen to that,” agreed Cortez, rising as Clay announced they were here. “Which is more than I can say for the sand-tiger,” he grimaced, pushing open the shuttle door as it hovered low between Normandy and the small battered vessel that lay gouged into Rannoch’s surface like a miniature beached whale deserving of sympathy and a whole lot of aid.

While Cortez exited and began directing the crew who had come over to assist in the sand-tiger’s recovery, Clay took the shuttle the rest of the way into Normandy’s bay.

Stepping off in time with Kaidan, Shepard began unclipping her armour on autopilot.

Chu’Tak had to be dealt with. But was it possible to avoid war? The only thing that wasn’t in doubt was that they had to show their strength as united races. But how could they avoid escalating things further in doing so?

Ripped from her thoughts by the need to find her equilibrium, Shepard frowned over at Kaidan and his offending hip.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Kaidan, unrepentantly. “But how about you take a break before launching into the next conflict? And no, you didn’t think it out loud, but I still know you, Terra Shepard.”

There was something about the stern, no-nonsense look he was emitting that made her want to haul him into the shuttle, slam the hatch closed, and have her wicked way with him. While she resisted the urge, she made sure he knew exactly what she was thinking, and watched his delectable mouth attempt to restrain the grin as a result. It was so goddamned sexy she went hot from the inside out. _Oh my God, I have got to stop doing this. I’m tormenting_ myself _!_

Kaidan’s grin changed to a smirk, his fingers entwining with hers, and he led her to the elevator. _Then allow me to ease your torment. And mine._

Her insides began jumping about with delighted anticipation as the doors closed them in and his mouth found hers. This was one trip to heaven she was more than willing to make.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan was hunched over the datapad, absorbing the latest intel supplied by the geth patrol over Parnack.

Soft lips just behind his ear drew him sweetly back to their cabin. Terra was on her knees right beside where he was perched on the edge of the couch, and he hadn’t even heard her approach. She held two glasses of wine, and he noticed the opened bottle had been placed on the table right in front of him.

Settling at an angle, Terra encouraged him to leave the datapad behind by passing him a glass. Taking it, he gladly sank back against her warm body, enjoying the feel of her arms wrapping snugly around him and her cheek caressing his. “Wow, that must be some great reading,” she teased.

“Hh! Not exactly, but it’s going to prove vital.”

“Fill me in.”

“Once they knew what they were looking for, the geth discovered that they had been subjected to two viruses snuck in through that redundant network of theirs. One was the encryption key implanted at the receiving end, and the other worked to condense the messages into tiny data caches that wouldn’t be detected by the geth.”

“Shit. The yahg are getting adept at this technology lark.”

“It’s still a long way off from anything we have, and once the geth recognised the weakness in their system, they closed it off immediately.”

“Shit again. The yahg will know we’re onto them now.”

“No, they won’t. I thought about that, and I advised the geth to that effect. They’ve fixed it so that it’ll still appear as if the network is available as normal.”

“Oh, you clever man,” Terra purred into his ear, her teeth grazing his lobe and causing a stir low in his belly.

“Why, thank you.” He watched her take a sip from her glass, and he swirled the wine in his own, wanting to get the info out before partaking. “But, more importantly, the geth traced the source of the messages to a small city. Their time over Parnack means they have plenty of intelligence gathered on sites of interest, and the precise building flagged up is thought to be the main headquarters of Chu’Tak.”

“So, he’s remained leading his tribe.”

“Which geth reports say has grown exponentially over the past months. I’ve been studying the map, trying to ascertain the best route in, and wondering how in the hell we’re going to take a single step into that city without being discovered.” Fatigue was dragging at him, and he rubbed his fingers over eyes that had been staring at the screen for far too long.

“That’s something for us to deliberate over after some sleep.” She kissed his temple and sent a warmth flowing through him at the same time, which instantly made him yield to the relaxing feeling. “The yahg aren’t going anywhere. We have time.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Being here like this felt so good. Taking a sip, the wine’s fruity alcoholic aroma preceded the sweet, refreshing taste. “Mm. This is nice.”

“Liara sent it over. Said saving the quarians was worth celebrating.”

“She’s not wrong.”

“Speaking of Liara….” A slight tension had snuck in, and the serenity began to dissipate.

Kaidan had known this would come up, but he waited for her to specify.

“What were you two talking about before?”

Suddenly finding its contents unpalatable, Kaidan placed his glass on the table as he considered the best way to say it. But there wasn’t one. “I wanted to know what she’d meant by her statement back on the Citadel: about the batarian extremists.”

“And?” Her quick response told him she’d already worked out that much.

His last conversation with Liara played through his head. Their asari friend had spoken of it like it was any other subject, and there had been a coldness in her eyes – one that said she felt no regret over it. Kaidan wondered if he’d had the same look when he’d been on Adek. He’d definitely seen it in Terra’s face that day, but she was the one who had suffered at their hands. “She sent assassins to hunt and kill them.”

“There’s more.” Terra shifted so she could see his face, his back now resting against her leg. “Stop holding back.”

Kaidan wished she’d let it go. She had enough guilt over attacking that innocent batarian on the Citadel, without adding more, but there was no avoiding it; she was so stubborn. “She ordered them to make it painful. She assured me they died in far more pain than had been inflicted upon _you_ by Balak and his men.” He’d expected the appalled look on Terra’s face, and the quiet horror that was manifesting within her as nausea. He’d felt the same.

“Oh my God…. I….”

She was conflicted. Kaidan sensed her battling against the relief she was mortified by, but he understood it. What they’d done to her was horrific, and she’d fought her way out with cold, merciless fury. She’d been close to losing herself to that hatred, and she was still fighting it. Liara’s actions meant there were less monsters out there seeking some absurd retribution for an act that had actually saved them all.

Cupping her face, Kaidan wanted nothing more than to erase every frown line that had appeared there in the space of the last few seconds.

“This isn’t what I wanted.”

“I think Liara knows it, too. But she wasn’t really doing it for that reason.” Kaidan remembered how enraged he’d been when they’d seen that footage for Terra’s torture. If those men had been there then, in the heat of that moment, he would have torn them all limb from limb. If they hadn’t gotten to her in time, there was a good chance he’d have felt the same need to find some kind of vengeance. But torture? No. “She didn’t have the benefit of being there for you that day. This was her way of dealing with her own anger over what Balak and his men did to you. That doesn’t make it right, by any stretch, but it’s done now.”

Terra slumped against the back of the couch looking more burdened than ever, and Kaidan cursed Liara for it. “Remember the awkward, almost timid scientist we pulled out of that prothean ruin on Therum? She would never have done something like that.”

Dismay ran through him. “You can’t take responsibility for who she is now.”

She looked at him, pained. “Can’t I? I gave her no choice but to harden up, right? I put her – a civilian - in front of her mother on Noveria and then shot Benezia down. I never spent enough time with her after that, making sure she was alright. I mean she told me she was fine, but that’s just what you say, isn’t it? You put on a brave face while you cry inside. I _know_ that, so why didn’t I push? Why didn’t I take her back to her life after that, and leave her be?”

“We needed her. Without her, we’d never have found Ilos. And if she hadn’t become the Shadow Broker, we’d have never found those plans for the Crucible. You’re not her moral guardian, Terra. Her choices are her own. … And love can make you irrational. She handled it wrong. Plain and simple.”

Terra sigh was heavy, but he could tell his words were having an effect. “I suppose she has something of a track record. After all, she did give my body to Cerberus instead of laying me to rest.”

“I can’t say that was a mistake,” Kaidan said, honestly. “If she hadn’t, you wouldn’t be here now. There’d be no Rorie and Nate.” Just the thought of his life without Terra and the two lives they’d created made him feel sick inside. Sick and empty. To fight it off he pulled his wife close in every way he could, hugging her close until her natural scent was all he could breathe, and her soul was combined with his.

With that union came the certainty that Terra would be speaking with Liara when they were next in the same space, and she would endeavour to steer her friend away from that harshness - because she knew it was too easy to become de-sensitised; to become the very thing you fight against, and she feared for Liara’s soul.

He supported that, and Kaidan felt the weight lift from her. That he’d been able to do that with just a thought made him feel incredibly empowered when it mattered the most.

They relaxed into each other, and everything else faded away. It was like they were the only entities in the galaxy, with only the stars, offering them endless possibilities.

Feeling truly at peace, just the two of them, Kaidan realised they didn’t need sex to become so completely a part of each other, and they remained in contented companionship, not needing to say or think a word. It was enough to simply exist together.

**-o-O-o-**


	32. Chapter 32

The aroma of coffee filled the empty Mess, and Shepard smiled in satisfaction. Not that she particularly liked it – tea was her drink of choice – but Kaidan did, and she’d imported top quality fresh beans from Earth, just for him.

Carefully pouring some out, she added a dash of cream, just the way he liked it.

“Oh wow, that smell…. That has to be real coffee.”

Shepard looked over her shoulder to see Knox walking over, fresh out of the shower. “It is. Doesn’t it smell the same as the other stuff?” She sniffed the air experimentally. No, still smelled the same to her.

“You’re obviously not a coffee drinker,” he retorted, dryly.

“Nope. But it’s your lucky day: there’s just enough for one more mug.” From the look that appeared on his face, Shepard guessed she was his new best mate.

“You’re officially the greatest, Shepard.”

“Uh huh. If I’d known it was so easy to win you over, I’d have had a mug waiting for you that first day you stepped aboard the SR-2,” she joked, and Knox shook his head ruefully at the open hostility he’d displayed not long after his first stint under her command. Thankfully, they’d worked through it, and the fact he’d forsaken his shore-leave to help Kaidan find her, proved just how far he’d come. “What’re you doing up so early?”

“Oh, Ori’s out establishing her newest colony. Been out there for close to three weeks now, making sure it’s ready for occupation. She’s got a long waiting list of people willing to take up positions there.” Pride lit up his face. “Anyway, different time-zone and all that. Early’s the best time to get her. She’s usually winding down then.”

Shepard had been kept updated by Liara on Oriana Lawson’s activities, and in a few short months, the young woman had turned her name into one that was trusted and held in high-esteem throughout the galaxy. She cared about the people who chose to reside in the colonies she created, and she provided everything they needed, including the security to keep them safe. There was no scrimping, and they were paid fairly. Their productivity reflected happy colonists who spread the word – hence the marked increase in people willing to give colony life a try. “She’s doing a great job out there.”

“Yeah.” He had the smile of a man in love, and Shepard was pleased for him. She knew it hadn’t been easy for him to move on from the loss the Reapers had wrought upon his life.

“You look really happy, Will.”

He flushed, but nodded. “I am. Ori’s a sincere person. Kind.”

“Beautiful,” Shepard added with a knowing smile.

“Oh yeah,” Knox breathed out, like he was still having trouble believing his luck. “And patient,” he added, coyly.

“Thank goodness!” teased Shepard. “We soldiers are, after all, a difficult breed.” She picked up Kaidan’s mug as Knox laughed, and gestured towards what remained in the pot. “Have at it, Lieutenant.”

“Thanks, Shepard.”

Swinging around, Shepard almost spilled the coffee over the very man she was aiming to take it to. “Whoa!”

“That smells like… _real_ coffee!” Kaidan exclaimed.

Fighting back the urge to roll her eyes at the coffee connoisseurs, Shepard raised it up. “It is. Especially for you.”

“You got me the real thing?” Kaidan leaned in to kiss her, transmitting his appreciation in her mind and on his lips. The heat she felt was from more than just the mug between them and by the time he pulled back, Shepard was satisfied it had definitely been worth it. He took a sip and made a sound of pure pleasure that made Shepard a little jealous. “Now that is superb coffee. Wait a minute, are you hijacking my coffee, Lieutenant?” Kaidan was peering over at Knox, who gripped his mug with no intention of putting it down.

“Aye, aye, Sir. Orders from Admiral Shepard.” Then to be extra cheeky, Knox took a big gulp and followed it with an appreciative and loud “ahhh. That’s _really_ good.” Then he strode casually over to the Mess table to savour the rest.

Kaidan rose an eyebrow at Shepard that made her want to laugh instead of look chastened. “Especially for me?”

“You wouldn’t even have known if you hadn’t gotten up. I was going to bring it to you in bed. Now I can’t make it up to you,” she said, sweetly, lowering her voice. “Surely, there’s something else you like more than coffee….”

His brow twitched at that. “You know there is.”

“Then we’ll have to find some time later.”

“Later?” She liked that he looked truly disappointed, and it was almost too much temptation, but her mind was set, and she wouldn’t let this sexy man sway her.

“Yep. I had the best night’s sleep, and I’m raring to get stuck into our yahg problem.”

“As it happens, I’m feeling rather refreshed, too. Shall we take this to the war room?”

“Let’s.”

Kaidan led the way, deliberately sending Knox an ‘I’m watching you’ gesture as he passed by the table, which made the lieutenant smirk and take another sip, while Shepard looked on, bemused. She really didn’t get the big deal about coffee.

Once in the elevator, Shepard watched Kaidan enjoy his drink: his mouth on the edge of the mug, the movement of his adam’s apple as he swallowed, the soft ‘hm’ of contentment, his tongue running over his coffee-moistened lips…. Way too sexy.

“Changing your mind on ‘later’?” He had that gorgeous lop-sided grin as he caught her staring.

He was doing it on purpose, and Shepard squinted her eyes at him. “General Alenko, I will not be distracted from my resolve, no matter how…delicious you may be.”

He laughed, that wonderful velvety sound sliding over her skin so intimately she was close to caving. “Delicious, huh?” Kaidan deliberately stepped closer. “I stand ready to be devoured, at your command, Admiral.”

Good God, he was on fine form this morning. With a single pointed finger in his chest, Shepard pushed him away. “As I said: I will _not_ be distracted.”

He raised his free hand in surrender, but the smug grin remained. “If you say so, though I should make you aware that we arrived at the CIC _before_ I asked if you’d changed your mind.”

Surprised, Shepard looked sideways, her mouth falling open at seeing the deserted CIC, and to rub it in, Kaidan sauntered past her with a self-satisfied side-look. She stomped out after him. “I’m going to get you for that.”

He spun, still grinning as he walked backwards. “For what? All I did was drink my coffee. Hardly my fault you got…captivated.” He had the audacity to wink at her before facing forward in time to walk into the war-room.

Shepard could only huff at his back because she had nothing else to come back at him with. Damn that man and his smouldering good looks.

At least no-one else had seen it. Except Edi of course. As they were still in orbit over Rannoch, (giving Clay the chance to spend a little time with his father,) Shepard had given the night crew some down-time; Edi was more than capable of handling the ship’s needs during this lull.

Gathering herself, Shepard looked everywhere but at the broad shoulders, muscled back that tapered into a trim waist, and perfect rear in front of her, only to be drawn back to its owner by his laughing. She shoved him, playfully. “Stay out of my head, Alenko.”

He threw her a grin over his shoulder. God, she loved this man.

Then they were at the central console where Edi had already readied the detailed schematics of the yahg city where Chu’Tak resided, and it focused them both. Above all, she was eager to get stuck into this with the amazing soldier she’d married.

Together, she could guarantee they’d find an effective strategy to deal with ‘Wraith’.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan was settled back against the console they’d spent hours leaning over – going through the huge amount of data the geth had collected on the yahg– and he felt incredibly relaxed, admiring Terra as she conversed with the Council. Her stance was strong, proud, and every inch the outstanding admiral. But he also noticed the lovely feminine curves, and the way she filled out her uniform in all the right places. His wife was stunning.

Receiving an inner ‘kick’ from Terra at that, Kaidan bit back his laughter. Conceding it wasn’t really appropriate to be so ‘open’ with his wayward thoughts when she was facing the councillors, Kaidan reined himself in, but continued to contemplate the wonders of the woman before him.

He loved working with her; to witness her keen mind plotting. Not that he didn’t have plenty to offer, too. In fact, Kaidan never felt more valued as when they shared ideas, and challenged each other over tactics. She brought out the best in him. Always had.

And they’d come up with a plan – a damned good one, if he said so himself. If it went as intended, it would involve minimal contact with the yahg. The yahg were intelligent, and so this plan took that into consideration. And if they failed to see sense…there was a back-up plan. It just needed some extra bodies for that – and that’s where the Council came in. It was time to call in that promise of ‘every resource made available as they requested it’, and what they were asking for wasn’t fleets or armies.

The QEC closed down and Terra almost bounced over to him, her impetus bringing her right into his chest and her lips crushing over his.

The taste of her was undeniably more delectable than great coffee, and far more potent than any caffeine. When she ended the kiss, he yearned for more. “I’m guessing it’s all good?” he teased, feeling every bit of her satisfaction and excitement.

“They were surprised by our request, but they’re keeping their word. We’ll have our extra manpower as quickly as the councillors can gather and send them to us. How did _you_ do?”

“Well, I started with a call to Tuchanka. All I had to say was: ‘Shepard wants you for a yahg assault,’ and they were running for their biggest guns before they’d even signed off.”

Terra’s smile was dazzling at the prospect of a reunion with her two favourite krogan, and as much as Kaidan knew this mission wasn’t going to be easy, he couldn’t help feeling her exhilaration.

They weren’t the only friends Kaidan had contacted, and every single one had agreed without question. “We’ve got nearly everyone on board with this, and Hackett’s doing his part to get the last two on our list.”

“Then it’s coming together. Now we just have to wait for everyone to convene.”

Standing up, Kaidan kept an arm around her, taking her with him as he started out. “Plenty of time for me to update your XO and the others, while you go have that talk with Liara. Normandy’s tethered to her ship as we speak.”

There was a slight hitch in her happiness – a reticence mixed with anxiety. She was concerned she’d fail. “Any word from Clay?”

“Cortez brought him back aboard five minutes ago, so all crew are now present and accounted for.”

“Perfect.” Terra took a deep breath and puffed it out, and Kaidan knew it was at the prospect of facing Liara. He didn’t blame her - it wasn’t a conversation he’d want to have, either – but Terra was the best person for the task, and despite her doubt, she _would_ succeed. She was too motivated not to.

He pressed a kiss to her temple. “You’ll make her see sense.”

“Or I’ll drive her away,” worried Terra, but Kaidan shook his head.

“You’ll disable her ship before you let that happen, Terra ‘Stubborn’ Shepard.”

Letting out a soft laugh, Terra gave a slight nod of concession. “Damn straight. Failure is not an option.” She kissed him just before the war room doors opened onto the now-bustling CIC.

While he went over to Traynor, Terra carried on through the CIC, headed for the airlock.

“That was one long brain-storming session,” commented Traynor. “And an interesting mix of call-logs from Normandy, too.”

Kaidan grinned over at the incisive comm specialist. “All will be revealed.” He clutched his stomach as it growled loudly. “De-briefing in ten.” That would leave him enough time to grab himself some energy bars.

-o-O-o-

The _Avastus_ seemed too empty as Shepard walked towards the ship’s centre with only a glimpse of a crew member or two. It felt so sombre, like the potential importance of the decisions made here with the information that came in, had morphed into a living thing that breathed over every space.

Shepard tried to shake it off. Normandy was her travelling home, and it wasn’t surprising she’d notice a change from that comforting place, to here, but she wasn’t kidding herself. There was no chatter or laughter - those little things that lightened the worst of atmospheres because it meant that you were surrounded by life.

And this was where Eden spent the majority of her time. It reminded Shepard that there was more at stake than Liara’s soul.

Ahead, she could finally hear a voice. Feron.

“Liara-“

“Not now.”

“But-“

“Feron! I am busy!”

Shepard was surprised by Liara’s curt tone, and her heart weighed heavy in her chest. Entering the main hub of the Broker’s network, Shepard was immediately met by Glyph.

“Greetings, Admiral Shepard. What can I do for you today?”

“Nothing, thanks.” With Glyph hovering at her shoulder like it thought she might change her mind, she carried on to meet Feron halfway, not missing the subdued look before his smile covered it.

“Shepard. It’s good to see you.” He shook her hand with over-enthusiasm, his grip tight and two-handed, as though he needed the contact.

“And you. How are you? Forgive me for saying, but you look a little tired.”

“The galaxy never stops,” he said simply, waving his hand wearily towards Liara who hadn’t seemed to notice her arrival at all. Over in the far corner, Eden was equally absorbed in a screen she occasionally tapped at. “I tried to tell her you were here, but…” His resigned sigh said that this was normal.

“Don’t worry.” Musing on her first move, Shepard decided that she’d start by using the Broker’s tool: information. “Glyph, I’d like the files of the batarian extremists Dr T’Soni ordered assassinated.”

“At once, Admiral Shepard.”

“On a datapad, please.”

“Of course, Admiral Shepard. The information is awaiting your perusal.” Glyph moved to hover over a nearby datapad, and Shepard picked it up like it was an unexploded bomb. With a reassuring squeeze of Feron’s arm, she walked over to where Eden sat, and settled beside her.

“Hello, Eden.” Shepard didn’t see enough of this little asari, and she hugged her, kissing the top of her serious head.

The little asari gave the briefest of smiles before she returned her attention to the screen, and Shepard missed Rorie and Nate a whole lot more.

“What are you doing?”

“Learning about the protheans,” she said to the screen. “My father wrote this with mother. He was one of them.”

“That’s right. The last of his race.”

“Mother said you helped her wake him up.”

“Sounds like the tale of Sleeping Beauty, doesn’t it?” Shepard smiled, but Eden frowned.

“That’s just made-up. I like real stories.”

“Oh.” Shepard could almost hear Javik’s scorn at romanticised stories that solved the direst of circumstances with a kiss. He’d be most impressed with his daughter’s opinion. Shepard couldn’t help wondering though what Eden would take from the ‘ending’ of the protheans story. It was such a sad one.

She looked at Liara’s daughter, immersed in the words on the screen, and changed her mind - her father had survived 50,000 years that had seen the rest of his race wiped out, to finally witness the Reapers defeat and experience life without constant battle. And that was without the trial her mother had gone through with the ardat-yakshi gene. Eden’s very existence was a miraculous one, and a happy ending for the protheans whether they’d appreciate the notion or not.

Watching Eden, Shepard supposed that as asari lives weren’t as fleeting as her own there was no rush to experience the galaxy for oneself when you had hundreds of years ahead of you. But that didn’t stop the rest of it going by at its usual pace. The rest of _them_. If this went on, would Liara blink one day to realise that all she had left was her daughter? And who else would Eden have?

Guilt squeezed at Shepard’s chest. She had her husband and Rorie had her father because of Javik’s sacrifice. Shepard owed that man to look after his legacy as best she could.

Not wanting to disturb Eden further from what she was clearly intent on doing, Shepard finally faced the contents of the datapad.

-o-

-o-

Solemnly shutting off the datapad, Shepard rose. Looking over, she saw Liara still flitting from one terminal to another, and yet to notice her. It just raised Shepard’s concerns.

Feron came over with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, Shepard. She’s not always this bad. Several things came up at once, and she likes to keep her fingers on them all.”

“She can’t keep this up. It’s about time she was made to listen. Would you mind taking Eden out, please?”

With nothing more than a nod, Feron led a grumbling Eden out of the broker’s hub, and the instant the doors closed behind them, Shepard strode over to Liara, reached around the back of the terminals she was facing and tore out the power supply.

As the screens darkened, Liara lit blue, grabbing her arm with surprising strength. “What do you think you are-!“ Liara stopped in her furious rant, going wide-eyed as she realised who she had in her grasp. “Shepard! I did not-!” She dropped her hand.

“Know I was here? It’s been over an hour.” At Liara’s almost dazed frown, Shepard could only sigh. “Liara… what are you doing to yourself?”

Liara stiffened. “I was merely involved in my work.”

“And yet I wonder how long I’d have gone unnoticed if I hadn’t _forced_ you away from it.”

Liara’s arms crossed defensively. “This is important.”

“It always is.”

“Shepard.” Liara heaved a sigh, like she was talking to a petulant child who didn’t understand adult things. “I am sure you did not come here simply to protest my work ethic.”

“Actually, that’s pretty much exactly the reason I came here.”

“What?” She then shook her head, turning away to busy herself with returning power to her terminals. “I hardly think this is the time. The yahg-”

Shepard stilled Liara’s hands. “Will be dealt with. I’ll fill you in on our plan shortly, but I can assure you that we’ve plenty of time until we’re ready for our offensive.”

Liara straightened, stoic. “Then maybe we should focus on that. I am eager to hear what you have come up with.”

“Not until you’ve heard me out.”

Anger crossed Liara’s features, and it looked wrong. “This is ridiculous.”

“What’s ridiculous is that you’re missing out on living!”

“That is _not_ true!”

Allowing a pause, Shepard carried on with a gentler tone. “Isn’t it? When did you last take some time for yourself?” Finding hope in Liara’s hesitation, Shepard clutched the asari’s hands. “I think you need to take a step away from all this. For a little while, at least.”

At first, Liara stared back at her, like she wanted to concede, but then she resisted it, looking around at her terminals instead. “But this work… It is too important to leave.”

“No.” Shepard squeezed the hands in her own, frustrated at the single-mindedness. _“You’re_ important. Goddamnit, Liara! You can’t keep track of everything going in the galaxy!”

“You are right. And you were nearly killed because of it!”

Liara’s admission of guilt was a slap Shepard hadn’t been expecting, and she sought to find her voice again while her heart ached. “The only actions you’re responsible for are your own.”

“But I should have seen this coming, Shepard. There have always been discontented batarians who have refused to believe the truth behind the reason you had to destroy the Bahak system.” Liara pulled away to resume plugging in her terminals, and Shepard could only stand and watch, disheartened. “The only thing time will do for those people who wallow in their irrational anger is to give them what they need to put plans in place. I have been complacent.”

“ _Complacent_? How do you work that one out?”

“My predecessor spent every waking hour in this role. I have to do better!”

Shepard felt the tension gripping her forehead, and she rubbed at it. “Do you realise who you’re trying to live up to?”

“A yahg, yes.”

“His race is irrelevant. Have you forgotten he ordered a whole building full of civilians blown up, just to take you out?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Everything! Sitting here, behind your screens… you’re becoming detached from it all. You’re moving pieces on a chessboard, and that’s all they are to you. All these intel reports you get on people…you’re looking at them in black and white. You’re losing your connection to them.”

“You are wrong.”

“Am I?” Shepard brought up the file of one of the assassinated batarians, handing over the datapad. “This batarian, Tassin Fralock-“

“Was a supporter of batarian justice for the Bahak system.”

“Did you read anything else in his file, asides from that? The intelligence in it is extensive.” Liara’s unimpressed face said: no. “He made some noise, yes, but he worked with his older brother in a refinery, and several other batarians. Look at his work history. Everywhere his brother went, he followed.”

“A brother who was actively seeking recruits for his cause.”

“That, I don’t dispute. But we’re talking about Tassin. In the evenings he frequented a bar, but never drank. There was a female who worked there, and he would wait for her shift to end, and they’d talk for hours. She was human, Liara.” She paused to let that sink in. “Put the pieces together; it’s what you’re good at. Everything here says Tassin Fralock was simply doing what he felt he had to in order to fit in with his kin - maybe to avoid suspicion because he had a soft-spot for someone of the very race his brother was so against.”

Liara pressed her lips together, then discarded the datapad like it had personally offended her. “That does not mean he would not have followed his brother with a gun in his hand.”

“Maybe he would. But maybe he’d have taken a stand and said no when talk came to action. You never gave him a chance to do the right thing. You judged him a threat without all the facts, and then you executed him…in the worst way possible. And Tassin wasn’t the only one on there I would question. And the fact is, _none_ of these batarians had actually hurt anyone.” It was harsh, but Shepard wouldn’t apologise if it got through to Liara.

The surroundings seemed even quieter in the vacuum left in the wake of their voices, the only movement from the continuous streams of data that scrolled down the many other screens. But Shepard tuned it all out again. Only Liara mattered, and she looked ill, her whole body straining under an invisible weight.

“I did it for you,” she whispered, but her eyes didn’t quite meet Shepard’s.

“You know me well enough to know I would never condone this.”

“Shepard, I… I…“ Liara sagged as words failed her, suddenly looking terribly frail, and Shepard was compelled to hug her.

Liara clung to her tightly, like contact was so rare. Had her friend managed to push Feron away?

“You made an awful mistake, but it’s not too late. Trust me, I know - I’ve made plenty of my own. But you have to take steps to avoid falling into this pit again. You’re a better person than the last Broker. Liara, please. I’m frightened for you.” Shepard pulled back to make eye contact. Trails of tears glistened on Liara’s cheeks. Recalling Rorie’s talk of planet-jumping, she used it. “You know, Rorie wants to go travelling when we’re done with the yahg.”

Liara swiped at her face. “That sounds nice.”

“She told me all the places she wanted to go. Nearly all of them involved going to see someone. And she mentioned you.”

“She wants to come visit?”

Shepard shook her head. “She wanted to take you and Eden to Thessia, because she said you missed it but you kept forgetting to go. Even my five-year-old has noticed.” Shepard blinked back her own tears. “And I’m sorry I didn’t do this earlier. But I’m here now, and I think we should all go to Thessia. Feron, too.”

Liara looked at the ground at the mention of Feron. “I have not treated him well, Shepard. Taken him for granted. I do not think he would want to come.”

“I would.” They both turned to Feron, standing just inside the room. “Very much so.”

“Thank you, Feron,” Liara almost sobbed out, and he smiled.

With a single thought, Shepard gave Kaidan the all-clear. “Now to remind you of just what, or rather _who_ you’re missing out on while you’re cloistered in here.” She couldn’t help grinning at the familiar voices that began to filter through into this solemn atmosphere, infusing it with their brightness.

It seemed James and Garrus were vying for who could enter the loudest.

“Liara!” greeted Garrus, entering the space first. “We thought we’d come de-brief you in person, and in style.”

“With alcohol,” grinned James, raising the two bottles in his hands like prizes, one arm slung over Jack’s shoulders.

Kaidan followed after, shrugging helplessly at Shepard.

“Now we just need some music,” declared Garrus. “Glyph!”

Shepard frowned as Garrus began liaising with the VI. “This is beginning to sound more like a party.”

“Nah. It’ll be a lively discussion,” assured James.

“Just be glad some of us were civilised enough to being glasses,” said Traynor, trailing in with Cortez, Joker, Altair and Edi.

Then the music started. It was like something they’d expect from Chora’s Den, and so completely at odds with the sedate surroundings of Liara’s ship that it was bizarre. Everyone stared over at the turian responsible, and he faltered mid-stride.

“What?”

“What the hell is that?” Joker asked, dead-pan.

Shepard sighed, loudly. “When I asked you all to come over, the idea was to make Liara want to spend more time with you, not excommunicate you.”

“Yeah, Vakarian. We can see where _you’ve_ been spending time,” laughed Jack, as she deliberately began to dance seductively. “You’re bringing down the tone.”

“Well I don’t mind it,” murmured James, his eyes fixed on Jack.

“Spirits!” Garrus hustled back to Glyph, and selected something less seedy. James made a sound of disappointment, to which Jack whispered something in his ear that put his grin right back on. “Just keeping you on your toes,” bluffed Garrus. He did a double-take at Joker, Altair and Edi. “Uh… If you’re all here, who’s flying Normandy?”

Joker rolled his eyes, but it was Edi who answered, as calm as ever. “I am still a part of Normandy, Garrus, and as such, retain control. It is fine. Unless there’s an interruption in my signal, in which case Normandy will plummet into Rannoch’s atmosphere, dragging this ship with it.”

“Uh…”

“Just keeping _you_ on your toes,” smiled Edi.

Shaking her head at her crazy bunch, Shepard was pleased to see the smile on Liara’s face as she watched them all.

Kaidan took a glass from Traynor, and relieved a bottle from James, and Shepard enjoyed his casual stroll as he made his way over to her and Liara.

_I can’t walk without you finding it sexy?_

Shepard fought back the smirk as he called her out on it. _Seems not._

Sending her a heated look and a sensation that got her insides tingling, Kaidan turned his attention to Liara. “We’ll update you on our mission eventually, but I think our friends have got a point. For now, relax,” Kaidan said, handing her the glass and pouring the wine.

Eden entered to investigate the noise, and they all encouraged her in. She chose to go study Jack’s moves, which Shepard was relieved to note she’d toned down to suit the music.

“This is lovely, Shepard,” Liara imparted, sincerely.

“Well, it wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but this is what you get when you give this lot a little freedom it seems.”

A child’s delighted laughter rang out over the music, and they were all drawn to it. Eden was attempting to copy Jack’s dancing, and was clearly enjoying what Javik would have said was a pointless past-time. But to Shepard it was wonderful.

“Don’t let all this pass you and Eden by,” Shepard implored Liara, and the returning grateful smile was her reward.

“I understand.” Liara looked around at her transformed space, her face serene. “I needed this. Thank you for not giving up on me, Shepard.”

Though she was relieved beyond measure, Shepard just waved it nonchalantly away. “That’s what friends are for.”

“To dangle in front of yahg?” threw out Garrus, wryly.

Liara sipped her wine before answering. “Can someone please tell me this plan now?”

“Allow me a dance first?” asked Feron, holding out his hand to Liara who took it without argument and a shy laugh. They joined the others, but their dance was more intimate as they held each other close and moved to a slower tempo than the music playing.

With her friend looking relaxed and happy for the first time in too long, Shepard reached out to tug Kaidan closer, sliding her hands up his arms until they met at his nape. She let her thumb run gentle circles over his implant, and he gripped her hips tighter as a result.

“You did it,” Kaidan murmured in her ear, his teeth catching her lobe and making her shiver.

Shepard smiled as she held him close, enjoying the new ambience along with the feel of Kaidan, both in her head and in her arms. Then she looked at the friends who had surrounded Liara when she’d needed them most. Joker said something that made Liara laugh into Feron’s shoulder, Eden was spinning on one foot with Altair, Cortez and Edi were joining in with Jack, Garrus was attempting to cut in on Liara’s dance to which Feron and he began a playful jostling match to be her dance partner, and James was dragging in some of her crew who had poked their heads in out of curiosity. “We all did it.”

Their bond was strong; nothing could hold up in the face of it, and nothing could break it.

Soon, Wraith would be getting a demonstration of that.

**-o-O-o-**


	33. Chapter 33

With Kaidan by her side, Shepard made her way steadily and silently through the streets of the vast Parnack city known as Ujarak - Chu’Tak’s tribe.

The inhabitants were mostly slumbering at this hour, asides from those on guard in the watchtowers which dotted the city’s edge. Its boundary was marked by a shocking scarring of the land, like whatever natural formations had once been here had been crudely levelled to create a no-man’s-land, ensuring that nothing could cross without their knowledge. Yet slipping into the city without detection had been simple.

Darkness was irrelevant with a species as sharp-eyed as the yahg, and normal cloaking devices didn’t fool their superior eyesight. Luckily for Shepard and those she’d brought down here, they’d gotten the answer to that particular problem from a previous encounter, which changed the cloaking frequency. Still, it made her heart race to be able to ‘see’ Kaidan beside her. The visual distortion of him created by the cloak was like staring at an optical illusion, making her blink to stop her eyes from crossing.

 _I agree, it’s unsettling._ While he was in her head, warm and reassuring along with his physical presence, Kaidan was still very much focused on their environment. It was mostly quiet except for the low gruff hum of machinery working away deep in the bellies of the power stations they’d passed a while back.

 _Such a shame, too,_ she returned. _I could really do with a little eye candy right now._ Shepard enjoyed Kaidan’s soft chuckle flowing through her, audible only in her mind.

_Ditto. The yahg really have no appreciation for art._

Truly, there was nothing remotely aesthetic about yahg architecture. No matter whether it was a small single storey or a massive tall block, every building was nothing more than four stone walls with space for shuttered windows and heavy doors. They were packed tight, too, separated only by the streets which were the same unmarked rough grey stone. It made the whole city appear cold, severe, and unrelenting. The only light came from the rare street lamp, their insipid yellow glow eerie rather than warming in the blackness.

As they came to another of the countless junctions, Shepard didn’t pause, turning left towards their destination. The geth intel had been invaluable in planning this whole mission, right down to the city map which Shepard had studied until the route they needed was seared into her brain.

 _Considering where we are, this is relatively relaxing after the last few hours,_ mused Kaidan _._

That made her smile. After they’d done turning Liara’s vessel into the party ship, Normandy and the Avastus had moved on, ready to greet the myriad of other ships which gradually convened over Parnack. Since then, it had been non-stop as their guests were de-briefed and given their objectives. Once everything was organised, they all had to be dropped off at a good distance to avoid being spotted, which meant having to hike in across the inhospitable terrain.

But here they were…. _traipsing boldly through the streets of a city full of yahg,_ she mulled ‘out loud’ for Kaidan’s benefit _._

 _It sounds crazy when you say it like that,_ he teased back _._

 _Crazy-stupid or crazy-wild?_  Shepard grinned over at him with a wink.

Even with the lack of decent light, Shepard was sure his eyes twinkled. Or maybe it was just in her head, because she was certainly feeling his laughter. _With you, it’s always crazy-wild. Never let it be said that you don’t get my heart pumping._

Realising she was looking anything but professional with the huge smile on her face, especially considering where they were, she checked herself.

Turning the last corner, Shepard saw the large four-floor structure they’d been aiming for, at the very centre of the city; not the biggest, like the towering blocks that were home to the general populace, but prominent because it was set apart on all sides.

Like every yahg in a prestigious position who had the advantage of living a far more spacious life above their place of work, Chu’Tak would be here. On the floor below him would be those who acted as both his council and security; with the potential of being the strongest threats to his rule, for now they were delegates who did the dirty work while Chu’Tak himself remained at his post, watching and sending out orders.

At least that’s what they’d gleaned from the geth intel, along with the fact that Ujarak had recently expanded its territory by swallowing up its closest neighbouring tribe. Chu’Tak’s strength had ensured his victory over that tribe’s leader and its people had bowed to his superior strength.

Though other tribal cities were still some distance away, they obviously felt threatened by the recent move by Ujarak, and the geth had noted the frequent skirmishes from neighbouring tribes, like they were testing the city’s defences. Or maybe it was just a show of strength to deter any ideas of increasing territory further.

Whatever, that external unrest would work to their advantage now.

Taking position beside one of the huge doors that provided the only visible entrance into the building, Shepard prepared herself. _Ready?_

_Ready._

Opening her comm, Shepard kept her voice low. “All units: go, go, go.”

Off in the distance, several explosions went off at various locations. All were planted on the outskirts; their aim to draw attention with a little destruction, not to harm.   

They were about to find out how solid the geth intel and the conclusions she and Kaidan had drawn from it, really was.

-o-

It had been several minutes since the explosions. Time for the yahg inside to be hauled from their sleep and launched into action.

There was commotion from the streets around them now as the city’s inhabitants reacted to the disturbance. It made standing here in the open that much more heart-thumping.

Kaidan sucked in his breath as the immense, thick doors grinded open, and the yahg denoted by the geth as being the delegates and security for Chu’Tak, hurried out, all heavily armed. They were so close that Kaidan felt the displaced air on his face through his open visor, as well as the vibration of eight weighty bodies pound the ground.

Hiding in plain sight wasn’t his style – his nerves were shredding with each passing second.

 _You’re really tense._ With her calm words, Kaidan could sense her steady pulse.

_How you can be so relaxed using cloaks, I will never understand._

_It’s all a matter of having faith in your tech. But I guess it helps if you’ve written that tech yourself._ He let her push further into his mind and felt her firm belief in the program she’d devised with Javik’s help.

With Terra’s certainty running through him, Kaidan’s pulse fell in time with hers. _Thanks._

_Anytime, Handsome._

By the time the final yahg passed, the doors began to close. With a smooth, soundless move, Terra glided inside. Kaidan wasn’t so light on his feet, so he waited until the last yahg was further away before making his move. Any sound he might have made as he slipped through the closing gap was muffled by the rumble of the vehicles the yahg had piled into.

Score one to geth intel; during every tribal clash, the yahg delegates were quick to the scene, presumably to assess the threat and relay it back to their leader.

With the doors sealing them within the building, they made their way through low-lit offices. This floor was the public face of the government; Chu’Tak wouldn’t be on this level.

They made their way deeper into the building with ease. Secured doors that would hold up against the strongest yahg, were rendered useless as Terra quickly bypassed them, and they made their way up a wide flight of stairs to the second floor.

But there was no complacency here. While Terra focused on getting them through the security, Kaidan was alert for anything unforeseen. They couldn’t risk letting their guard down with a race like the yahg. Intelligent, but arrogant….

The staircase led them up into a single space that took up the entire floor. Most of it was in shadow, with only the occasional dim light shining down on the few objects to occupy the area, but what they could see of the hard flooring was more polished, more…opulent, by yahg standards anyhow. Confined to the far right and left were eight c-shaped desks for the advisors, four on each side, upon which sat terminals. Opposite the central staircase was a much larger desk with a whole bank of screens. The high-backed seat was almost throne-like.

It was a statement of power. And sat there, was Chu’Tak, staring intently at whatever information was on his terminals, his rough voice more like a growl as he spoke to whomever was at the end of his comm link.

 _This is a little like déjà vu,_ Kaidan said as he stood there, facing ‘Wraith’. A sudden anger surged forth at the being that had set into motion events that had put Terra through so much pain and torment. People had been killed by this vengeful yahg, including talented men and women Kaidan had personally trained and known – people whose families he’d had to deliver a devastating news to.

 _The previous Shadow Broker?_ Terra’s neutral voice grounded him, and even though she had to be sensing his fury, there was no judgement.

 _Yeah. Except we don’t have a convenient ceiling of lightning to bring down on him. Which is a real shame,_ he added.

_Don’t need it. No kinetic shields for this yahg to hide behind._

_True._ A little startled, Kaidan realised his anger wasn’t reflected in Terra. On the contrary, there was very little emotion coming from her at all, even though she was open to him.

_He’s nothing, Kaidan. Look at him._

Kaidan did. 

_He was a puppet once for the Leviathans. He should have learnt a lesson from that. Instead, he became worse than them, pulling strings and destroying lives because he wanted revenge. He’s not worth your anger. He’s not worth anything._

She was right. Chu’Tak was just another sad figure in a universe that had evolved beyond his narrow-mindedness.

Kaidan watched Terra’s distorted image tapping into her omnitool until she stopped and looked over at him, waiting for his nod. _Okay. Let’s do this._

Terra pressed a single finger onto her tool and Kaidan saw Chu’Tak frown as his terminals went dark. The yahg growled into his comm, but Terra had severed that link too. Everything coming out of this building was now cut off.

Kaidan walked forward with Terra, their steps falling into a natural synchronicity, and as one, they let their cloaks fall away.

Chu’Tak saw them instantly and rose up with a roar. He was like an enraged bull before it charged, muscles coiled, panting out heavy breaths through his nostrils as he eyed them with malicious intent.

“Surprise,” said Terra. “We thought we’d come speak with you personally.”

“We worked out your involvement, Chu’Tak.” Kaidan met that piercing gaze with one of his own, allowing his past win over this yahg to shore-up the confidence he exuded. “I tried to warn you. You should have listened. And you made a serious mistake when you went after those closest to me.”

Then Chu’Tak’s whole body language changed. The tension in him fell away too quickly, and he lowered himself almost casually back into his seat. The arrogance was back….

“The mistake is yours, human: for setting foot on Parnack once more; for thinking you could best me in _MY DOMAIN!_ ” The fury-driven shout echoed round them. An affronted yahg was a formidable sight. But he leaned back in his chair, his breathing slowing as he calmed. “Your discovering my identity was always a possibility. You thought you could fool me with your distractions? I detected you the moment you set off this building’s perimeter alarm.”

His mouth contorted into something Kaidan supposed was a grin. Chu’Tak was _too_ relaxed.

Then there was a shuffle directly from the shadows on Kaidan’s left, and another at his right, followed by four more. Whoever it was, they’d fanned out around Terra and himself.

 _We’ve got two more coming up on our six,_ advised Terra, but Kaidan resisted the urge to look back at the staircase _._

Eight. One by one the surrounding yahg stepped out of the shadows, each with a rifle in one hand and those nasty-looking spears in the other. Chu’Tak’s security - the ones they’d seen leave; the ones who sat in those c-shaped desks confined to the edges of the room.

A deep, malevolent laugh emanated from Chu’Tak, filling the space again with his mocking. “I’m going to rip you limb from limb.”

-O-

Hackett stood frozen to the spot, listening to that distinctive voice of the yahg responsible for setting into motion so much chaos. He had whole fleets ready to bombard every single inch of that city if need be. On the edge of his seat, Hackett was tempted to give the order right then – make it clear to ‘Wraith’ that he and his tribe were living on a knife’s edge, and all it would take was one wrong move to bring death down upon him.

But Hackett held back.

There were more subtle moves in play, and he was merely on the side-lines, ready in case his assets were required.

His commander looked at him nervously, a silent question on his face that said _surely now is the time to move in, Sir. Is it wise to hesitate?_

But Hackett knew better. And soon, his commander would see that you never underestimate the first human Spectres.

**-o-O-o-**


	34. Chapter 34

The malicious intent from the surrounding yahg was unmistakeable. Kaidan could feel Terra fighting back her instinct to get her weapon in hand. Instead, she made fists.

 _Okay, General, how come_ you’re _so calm?_

 _I’m never unarmed, remember?_ Kaidan could now return Terra’s earlier favour, exuding his confidence that biotics would afford them time and space to get into a more defensible position should things kick off too soon.

“Any last words?” smirked Chu’Tak, apparently pleased at himself for using their human phrase.

Kaidan exchanged a look with Terra, who merely shrugged before focusing back on the yahg. If Chu’Tak could do nonchalance, so could they.

Strolling around Terra, Kaidan made a show of studying each of the yahg that encircled them as he addressed Chu’Tak. “So this is your entourage. If I understand correctly, these are the strongest of your people, and therefore also the likeliest to challenge you.”

“Not that they really have any chance, right?” continued Terra, once he’d completed his orbit and came to a stand-still beside her again. “What with you being artificially augmented by the salarians.”

The yahg leader didn’t like that reminder of just where his strength came from, his features becoming even more menacing. Kaidan might have felt intimidated had he been alone. But he wasn’t. And he could tell the rest were getting agitated by his and Terra’s unconcerned response to the increased numbers.

“We knew about the building’s perimeter alarm,” revealed Kaidan. “We figured you’d want to draw us in – to gloat when you surprised us with an ambush.” He glanced around at the eight yahg. “We wanted them here. You see, the first thing we ascertained before coming was how much _they_ knew about your meddling in our affairs.” The yahg ‘advisors’ were looking at each other with the first traces of uncertainty.

“And from all appearances, the answer is: nothing,” said Terra. “All off-world messages were transmitted when your…council…was out of the building.”

This time Kaidan spoke directly to the others. “We’re not here to start anything with the yahg. We’re only here in response to your leader’s attack on us.”

There was a round of displeased guttural noises, but only a yahg to the right side of Chu’Tak spoke out.

“It was mutually agreed with all other tribe leaders following the first incursion that we were not ready to assert our dominance over the other species.” Kaidan recognised this yahg’s facial markings from the geth reports. This was Gyr’Tun, the alpha of Ujarak before the leviathans interfered.

Chu’Tak’s hands clenched and he rose to his full height, then moved around his desk to invade Gyr’Tun’s personal space. “None of you know these races. You used words like ‘superior technology’ and cowered. _I_ do not. What you agreed is of no consequence to me. _I_ rule this tribe. _I_ decide what move we make. And I do _not_ need the permission OF OUR RIVALS.” The leader’s face was a fierce snarl but, to Gyr’Tun’s credit, he didn’t appear daunted. In fact, there was a staring contest going on.

Kaidan raised an eyebrow at Terra. _I suddenly feel like we’re intruding on a family squabble._

_Do you think we should offer to come back later?_

Catching his amusement in his throat, Kaidan appreciated the connection they had, more than ever.

“These races have weaknesses, and I exploited them,” Chu’Tak declared to the others. “Without leaving our home-world, I implemented the means with which they could destroy _themselves_.”

“And yet they are _here_ ,” growled Gyr’Tun.

Chu’Tak growled before responding. “Two humans.” His large arm swung out towards them. “Why aren’t the other species standing with them to confront me? They may have prevented the wars, but the truth has been revealed: each species will always look after their own interests, and only the strongest can survive. Their union is breaking apart.”

 _Oh I am so going to enjoy this._ Terra had schooled her features to reveal nothing, but Kaidan could feel her eagerness to shove Chu’Tak’s words down this throat. _Go for it, Handsome._

Grinning only on the inside, Kaidan cleared his throat to get their attention. “It’s true you came close to succeeding, and it certainly opened our eyes, but I can assure you the result isn’t what you hoped. In fact, it’s served as a reminder that we need to look forward, and not back.”

“We’re very much united against a common threat,” Terra continued, focused on the single yahg who had caused so much harm. “You, Chu’Tak.”

While the others fidgeted, Chu’Tak merely stared back. “That is what _you_ say, humans.”

With perfect timing, unrushed, thudding footsteps came from the stairs behind them, and Kaidan and Terra turned to witness the hard-shelled head of Wrex rising up, with Grunt following. While the two krogans’ arrival was a welcome sight to Terra and himself, Kaidan noticed the new tension in the room. The yahg began to raise their weapons in readiness, but neither krogan reacted in kind, at their three and nine o’clock. Several of the yahg turned to keep them in view, clearly finding their presence more threatening than the two Spectres they now had at their backs.

But not Chu’Tak. He was keeping them all in sight, frozen in place near Gyr’Tun. Kaidan could imagine the yahg leader’s brain busy assessing this new development.

“You tried to drive the krogan into a war against the salarians that would have forced the other races to rally against us,” accused Wrex.

giving no fuel to the situation.

Pausing at the top of the stairs, Wrex sent his unforgiving gaze boring into Chu’Tak’s. “I’m Urdnot Wrex, leader of the ruling krogan clan.” He and Grunt then separated, left and right until they stood Then, with almost gleeful theatricality, Gardew and Cael uncloaked themselves, planted right next to Wrex and Grunt, respectively.

“You failed,” chirped Gardew.

“Completely.” Cael smiled, then pointed towards the far corner of the space.

Thanks to Chu’Tak’s ploy to make it appear as though his underlings had left, it meant that when they’d doubled back and re-entered, they’d revealed the other hidden entrances into the building Kaidan and Terra had known would exist. It was something they’d been banking on the yahg to do, and had taken advantage of. This way, they could spread out before their ‘hosts’ knew they were even there.

The yahg all looked in the direction Cael was indicating, in time to see a quarian stepping out from the shadows just as they had done previously, his helmet hiding his features.

Han’Gerrel. It had been agreed he was the most battle-experienced, and he looked every bit the seasoned soldier now. “You tried to push us back into war with the geth.” His visor didn’t hide the disgusted outrage that had manifested in his voice.

A Prime joined the former-Admiral’s side, his optics brightening back to full strength. “Geth and the Creators remain in pursuit of co-existence.”

On Kaidan’s far right, Samara, Kirrahe, Garrus and Knox appeared as one, but it was the asari Justicar who silently demanded attention with her usual elegantly-confident stride.

“You attempted to sever the union of the Citadel Council races.”

“Guess what?” Garrus sauntered with his usual coolness, spreading his arms out as though to indicate he and his small team were representing the Council themselves. “That failed, too.”

The yahg were beginning to spin uneasily as the unexpected company grew.

“Thought you could use the idiot in charge of the Blue Suns to do your bidding, did you?” laughed Massani as he revealed himself just behind Gyr’Tun, his rifle in his hand but resting on his shoulder so it pointed backwards. “Now _I’m_ back in charge, and I don’t do anyone’s goddamned dirty work.”

“Eclipse is _firmly_ under my control,” declared Aria T’Loak, uncloaking from Chu’Tak’s seat of all places. Kaidan suppressed a sigh at the blatant message Aria was sending as she reclined, and Chu’Tak’s face contorted into a nasty sneer. But the Queen of Omega simply sent back a look of contempt. “It will be the last time you promise my throne to those who look above their station.”

“You won’t be getting any help from the Blood Pack either,” added Wrex. “They’re currently going through their own leadership issues.”

They were nearly done with their display. It was more dramatic than either he or Terra were used to being - or were comfortable with, if they were both honest - but despite how good it felt to rub this in Chu’Tak’s face, this was for the benefit of the other yahg around them.

“We know exactly what you had the mercs do to de-rail our lives,” declared James as he came up the stairs with Jack, Liara, and Aethyta, completing the new circle. “We owe it to our soldiers, and to the asari and salarian people killed on your order, to get them justice.”

 _Hell, yes._ Terra’s voice was little more than a murmur in Kaidan’s mind, but her conviction was strong. As was his. The men and women he’d trained deserved this moment.

“First reapers, then leviathans, now _you_ ,” Aethyta snapped at Chu’Tak in such a way it made Kaidan think she likely knew some of those asari on the destroyed space-stations. “If you knew any damned thing, you’d know you arrogant types don’t do too well against our gorgeous human Spectres here. And _you_ went and made it personal, Your Royal Dumbass.”

The resounding rumble was from the agreeing krogan, and Garrus, Jack and James were nodding too.

“So here we all are,” said Terra. Beneath her steady exterior was a barely-contained pride which Kaidan could identify with, wholeheartedly.

They’d all fought so hard together for the right to exist, they’d fought so hard to keep their free-will, and now they were all ready to continue fighting for peace and co-operation. Yep…he was proud, too – of them, and of being a part of this moment. “Undeniably united,” Kaidan finished.

Aria rolled her eyes, but remained silent.

Chu’Tak looked around him, his own people now surrounded. Without communications, he couldn’t call for more back-up. Kaidan could see him doing the math. It was two-to-one. Ordinarily, Kaidan knew that wouldn’t have given the yahg pause, but Chu’Tak was fixed on him, no doubt remembering their last clash. The four pairs of eyes flicked away to land on each asari.

 _He’s threatened by the biotics,_ noted Terra.

_Except he hasn’t done his homework thoroughly. He’s bypassed Jack, and he’s underestimating the rest of you._

_Maybe. Maybe not. These yahg are wearing some serious-looking armour._

She was referring to the restrictions the cloaks had placed on their omnitools. The program took up a lot of power, particularly as they’d needed it to stay on for a considerable amount of time. It meant that, asides from Terra, Gardew and Cael – whose omnitools were already rigged to handle their usual cloaks without compromising other programs - the rest of them had limited tech use, so they were down to weapons only. There just hadn’t been time to make such huge adjustments.

 _True, but I’ve seen the yahg on a battlefield. They don’t know how to work together. It’s an advantage that we…_ most _of us…have._ Kaidan wasn’t so sure about Aria, or Massani for that matter. He’d have preferred they weren’t here at all, but he’d seen the benefit of proving that even those at odds with the Citadel’s governing bodies were willing to rally against the yahg. _Besides, they can’t hit what they can’t see._ It was a reminder that the cloaks were a huge tactical advantage each of them had.

Terra began to turn, her eyes meeting his as she briefly faced him with an almost imperceptible nod before she completed her spin, deliberately putting her back to Chu’Tak, whose eyes narrowed.

 “You each have two choices,” stated Terra, looking at the other yahg. “Let past altercations go - as we’re prepared to do - or make this into something more.” Only then did she turn back to Chu’Tak.

“But choose the latter and you deal with us all,” promised Wrex, not prepared to be forgotten.

The space was silent for a moment as they all waited on Chu’Tak.

The large yahg took a step into the centre, fixed on Kaidan and Terra. “Retribution was my RIGHT! Now you’ve invaded my home.” He started to pace like a prowling predator sizing up his prey. “This is an insult that _cannot_ be ignored. Tonight you will _all_ learn that the yahg will answer your challenge by spilling your blood.”

Everybody tensed, weapons primed.

“NO!” Gyr’Tun’s voice reverberated around the large space, making them all pause. He inflated his chest as Chu’Tak spun to face him. “We concurred that the races’ past incursion on Parnack was to our benefit. _You_ convinced us of that after our liberation from those the races called leviathans. Any retribution you sought should have only extended to these…salarians, who took you for their own ends. Your actions brought them _all_ here. Any fight is yours to face.” Gyr’Tun looked around at his colleagues. “Think carefully before you decide where you stand, brothers.”

 _You were right,_ Kaidan praised in the renewed silence. _He’s seeing this as his chance to regain his position._

_We just need to do the hard part._

He knew Terra was right. There was no way Chu’Tak would stand down, and it was likely most, if not all, his subordinates would follow his lead.

“I am your leader.” Chu’Tak’s tone said it was a warning. “Challenge me in battle, or be bound to serve. Refusal renders you traitors – and a traitor’s death.”

“First, you have to survive _them_ ,” argued Gyr’Tun, his triangular mouth twisting into a snide smile.

With shocking speed and a deafening roar, Chu’Tak launched himself at Gyr’Tun before anyone else in the room could blink. Chests impacted, and Gyr’Tun was sent reeling backwards, colliding with Massani, both of them smacking into the polished stone.

 “Hey!” Terra shouted, getting the attention of the angry leader before he could go after his challenger. A yahg who was prepared to overlook their presence here and skip this fight was one they needed alive. “You’ve really got more pressing issues.”

Irritated by her interference, Chu’Tak swung towards her, barking out something Kaidan couldn’t understand.

One thing was certain: that scuffle was just a spark in an atmosphere which was growing increasingly volatile and Chu’Tak was about to ignite it.

“Bloody hell,” cursed Massani, getting to his feet and shaking out his shoulder. Behind him, Gyr’Tun glowered back at his rival from the floor.

“Too close _and_ too slow,” Terra threw out to the merc. “You’re making us look bad.” Though her tone was light, Kaidan knew it wasn’t friendly teasing. She wasn’t a fan of Zaeed Massani, and Kaidan was with her on that.

“Suck this, darling.” Massani grabbed his crotch. Yep, Kaidan _really_ wanted to punch him. But they had a bigger asshole to deal with.

As if his thought had been heard, Chu’Tak rocketed towards another yahg, except this time he skimmed past, grabbing hold of his subordinate’s spear as he did so and twisting with incredible power. Before any of them could even begin to react, the vicious blade-tip was hurtling towards Terra.

Everything seemed to slow into freeze-frame shots while fear raced through Kaidan alongside the adrenaline.

Somehow Terra was able to spin aside in time, the spear whistling over her chest with frightening speed and force. It had been aimed for her heart, and no shielding would have prevented it from piercing her armour. Terra’s ingrained instinct was to immediately face her opponent but Chu’Tak was already in mid-leap, his fist rearing back as he descended towards her while she was still lifting her pistol.

Yet even as Kaidan’s heart still stuttered in his chest from how close the yahg had come to taking Terra out with the spear, that extra second was all he needed for his brain to kick the rest of him in-gear.

The power within him felt like a living, base part of him, eager to break free and protect what was his, and he released it. Everything zoned out except the incoming yahg, and he unleashed a biotic throw that captured the yahg a mere inch from impacting Terra, and sent him flying past Wrex and over a ducking Gardew, where he smashed into the far wall, then fell to the ground, landing on his feet in a crouched position and leaving behind a large indent of spider-web cracks in the masonry.

The whole thing had happened in a handful of seconds.

As time resumed its usual pace, Kaidan’s awareness widened. He could hear the thud of the spear embedding itself somewhere beyond him, the distinctive sounds of weapons adjusting and armour moving as everyone reacted around him, and beside him, whole, Terra was poised with her pistol aimed – gratitude coming through her intense focus.

Chu’Tak pushed upright, his throat resonating enraged thunder just before he yelled something that sounded a lot like a war-cry. All the other yahg, except Gyr’Tun, responded the same.

The fight was on.

**-o-O-o-**


	35. Chapter 35

Chaos had taken hold.

 _Cloak!_ Being in the midst of nine yahg was a bad place to be, and Shepard was keen to get to a less vulnerable position.

 _On it._ Beside her, her visual of Kaidan stuttered, as did the others around them until they all looked like vid-screen images experiencing interference.

The thudding of feet drew her attention to Chu’Tak, thundering towards where he’d last seen them. She crashed into Kaidan, taking him with her in her dive and just evading the collision. The second they landed they were back up again, Shepard biting back her curse at the massive battering ram.

While Chu’Tak vocalised his frustration at finding nothing to impact, Shepard put some distance between them, making her way with Kaidan past two yahg who were spinning in search of targets they could no longer see.

Swiftly, all of the teams gathered on one side of the room, reducing the risk of friendly cross-fire. Their shots seared into the heavy armour plating of the yahg, occasionally finding thick skin to blacken.

Chu’Tak snapped out something and his security backed into a tighter circle in the middle of the room, sheltering him at their epicentre. Returning fire, the yahg peppered the room with bullets in their bid to find someone to hit.

Five biotic barriers formed, encircling the group in their protective domes, deflecting not only the gunfire but also the shrapnel of stone created by the shots which slammed into the walls and floor. Aria though was thinking offensive rather than defensive, and she discharged a stream of energy that smacked into the nearest yahg and instantly detonated into a flare that sent the whole yahg contingent flying in different directions, their armour extensively damaged in the process.

“Whoa!” admired Jack, but Shepard could see it had drained the Omega queen, who had hoisted her weapon instead of trying to power up with another biotic attack.

Shepard had hoped that impressive display would give the yahg pause, but with another shout from Chu’Tak they re-formed around him again. _He’s up to something._ She wasn’t sure how she knew, but it was a gut feeling that she’d learned to listen to.

 _Then we need to isolate him,_ returned Kaidan, as he brought his barrier up again against a renewed onslaught of gunfire.

“ _Shepard. We have company,_ ” notified Edi. She had remained on the lower level, intercepting and monitoring the external communications from those at the city perimeter dealing with the earlier damage. Using the audio files she’d recorded during Shepard and Kaidan’s conversation with the yahg, she could make it appear as though their superiors were still in contact, keeping the yahg soldiers unaware of the goings-on at their city’s heart. But of course it wasn’t going to fool those living close-by who would be able to hear the gunfire, even as muted by the thick walls as it was.

“Continue what you’re doing – we need to keep those main forces away - but keep your head down. We’ll deal with any incoming.”

“ _Understood._ ”

“James, you’re up. We need suppressing fire on the stairs.”

“You got it.”

They’d anticipated this, and by allowing the investigating yahg to enter, it would keep the noise from any further conflicts within the confines of the building and its immediate surroundings. For the time being anyway. If the fight was too drawn out, others would soon be alerted. They needed to get this done, _soon_.

With Grunt, Samara and Massani in tow, James headed off.  

“Separate them,” Kaidan was ordering the remaining biotics, and one by one the yahg were peeled away from Chu’Tak with a pull, lift or push, revealing the yahg leader with something in his hand, which he immediately lobbed.

“Grenade!” yelled Gardew, but just like the gunfire before it, it ricocheted off a biotic barrier, exploding a short distance from them.

The explosion was wincingly loud, but Shepard saw its intent was not destruction. Billows of black smoke quickly began to fill the whole space until it snuffed out the meagre lighting. Adrenaline swarmed through Shepard as she comprehended the point of Chu’Tak’s move.

 _Clever,_ remarked Kaidan, grimly.

It had evened the playing field because now they couldn’t see their targets either, and the smoke was leaving a sooty residue over their cloaks which would help the yahg locate them. But first, Chu’Tak would make the most of this….

“GET DOWN!” Shepard yelled. It was closely followed by the heart-pumping whistling of spears being thrust through air. One grazed over her helmet as she threw herself to the ground, her breath pushed from her lungs as she landed hard on her front. She gasped it back in, thankful that her helmet’s filter kept the tainted air from entering too.

Those damned spears - ironically the biggest threat to them. Even with all their superior technology, they’d been unable to find a solution to the primitive weapons.

Getting back up, but keeping low, Shepard strained to see through the murk, but her head was filled with worry. “Check in.”

One by one, her team began to call in. Garrus notified her his left arm had been sliced by a spear blade but he still had full use in it, and Han’Gerrel had suffered a similar issue with his right leg. That would have been a worry had the quarian not attained a hardier immune system since being back on Rannoch.

 _Kaidan?_ The others were still confirming their statuses, but the one person she should have instantly known was alright was Kaidan, and she couldn’t feel him at all. Fear clutched at her chest and squeezed with ice-cold fingers.

Desperately wanting to search him out, Shepard was distracted by movement on her right. A yahg was creeping closer, his many eyes no doubt advantageous when it came to discerning her through the thick fog.

Throwing out an incineration blast, the flames lit up the pregnant air in its vicinity, consuming the darkened particles within it as well as setting alight not just the one yahg she’d seen, but also the other approaching on her left which she hadn’t. They flailed, throwing themselves back and rolling on the ground.

But all she could think about was Kaidan.

 _Talk to me, Handsome. Please._ But there was only herself, and it felt like she’d been stranded, alone in the dark… frightened for what it meant. She had to find him.

Knox followed her lead and let off some inferno grenades, which tossed aside three more approaching yahg, and cleared the air further as it ignited.

They were down to a light fog now – certainly nothing the yahg could hide in any longer. While her team laid their assault on those still standing upright, Shepard was about to look for Kaidan before realising Chu’Tak was no longer with the others.

“I need light!”

Asari or human, friend or mercenary queen, it didn’t matter, as they all answered her plea and the room came alight with their combined biotics, unveiling every bare corner in that distinctive blue hue, leaving nothing in shadow. And that’s when she found their bane.

Passing by his desk, Chu’Tak was focused somewhere to her right, and Shepard’s heart faltered as she turned to see Kaidan, pinned to the wall by a spear that had pierced just below his right shoulder. His lead hung limply from the impact with the wall, and she wasn’t sure which injury was more concerning.

Then Chu’Tak charged at him.

Shepard grabbed a spear from the ground as she leapt into his path to the sound of her own voice screaming out an enraged ‘ ** _NO_** _!_ ’. She aimed it towards the gaping mouth, and Chu’Tak ducked his head down in response. But Shepard’s move had been a feint, and she immediately spun low, the unfamiliar weapon heavy in her hands, using the vicious metal curved blade that protruded from the shaft part-way down, to hook the yahg’s lower leg and heaving him off his feet with a strength only provided by her deep-rooted instinct to protect Kaidan.

Chu’Tak landed on his back with a bone-crunching force but still managed to reach out to grab her ankle and yank. She went down, dropping the cumbersome spear, and regaining her pistol as she hit the ground. But before she could bring it up, the yahg boss dragged her closer and slammed a fist into her sternum.

Her vision flashed white with the sharp pain as her breast plate dented inwards, and as she clung to her awareness, she knew only his prone position had prevented him from doing her worse damage.

When that fist came down again with the intention of striking that same place, Shepard just managed to twist her torso enough to evade the lethal attack. Her upper arm took the brunt, and it deadened her arm, causing her to lose her grip on the pistol. Not good, but she wasn’t out yet.

With her ankle still clamped within Chu’Tak’s grasp, she slammed her free boot squarely into his over-sized mouth. He reared back, losing his hold on her, and Shepard made use of those precious seconds to scramble away and up. She would have reached for her rifle, but her whole arm was numb right down to her fingertips.

Even as Chu’Tak surged up from the ground, Shepard could only feel grateful that she’d managed to divert his attention from Kaidan. Retrieving the spear, Chu’Tak lunged, and it took all her concentration to evade the blades as he wielded it expertly. All she could do was reel backwards, on the defensive.

Then it caught her thigh, the blade penetrating even as the force of Chu’Tak’s strike sent her sideways. With her leg weakened, she couldn’t correct her balance to save herself hitting the ground again. Before she could do anything, Chu’Tak was over her, his foot pushing her torso into the stone while he grabbed her arm.

He started to pull, the pressure and pain building rapidly as he sought to tear her limb from her body. Shots slammed into his back, giving her respite as he was faltered by them.

Garrus. He was re-aiming for the yahg’s head, a silent ultimatum on his face that said ‘let her go and face me, or die’. But Chu’Tak hauled.

Screaming as something popped and ripped at her shoulder, Shepard lost all cognizance beyond the thuds of Garrus’s rifle hitting flesh.

“Shepard!” Liara’s horrified tone was accompanied by the bright blue of her biotics, and Shepard braced herself for the moment a throw would send the yahg away from her, taking her arm with him. But instead, the crackling energy seemed to battle over her, and Chu’Tak’s enraged snarl turned into a pained roar.

Her arm fell to her side, and it took a few seconds for her to register it was still attached.

_Terra!_

Kaidan’s voice rejuvenated her addled brain, thrusting her back into the room and its dangers.

A short distance away, the back of Chu’Tak’s head was gushing blood, and his armour was hanging off in places from the power of Liara and Kaidan’s biotic attack. Yet he was rising up again like some ungainly, monstrous phoenix, refusing to die.

 _Terra! I can’t-!_ Shepard could feel the distressed desperation in Kaidan as his thoughts crashed in before being yanked away by the demanding and uncompromising force of unconsciousness.

“Shepard!” yelled Garrus, still firing unrelentingly.

Grasping her weapon up with her left hand and surging up onto one knee, Shepard joined in, each hit slamming into the yahg’s forehead, but Chu’Tak was somehow still moving towards her, like his hate was so strong it made him immune to the damage.

Her clip ran empty, but then Wrex was there, ramming into the yahg with a strength that would have sent any other species right through those stone walls. Yet Chu’Tak resisted. With his hard-shelled head pressed into Chu’Tak’s, Wrex was doing his damnedest to hold him back, but his feet were losing traction.

With a thrust, Wrex was thrown aside into Liara who was about to throw another biotic attack into the fight. Around them, the others were still locked into their own fights, unaware of the situation playing out behind them.

Chu’Tak thundered down upon Shepard, his huge hand clamping around her throat.

Merciless fingers restricted her airflow, and the ground vanished beneath her feet as he held her aloft, but Shepard punched out with her gun, aiming it directly into those eyes - weak spots on any being. She got two hits in until he straightened his arm, placing himself out of her reach. Her vision was blackening, as the lack of oxygen began to affect her….

Then Chu’Tak’s chest erupted, a long blade protruding along with the curved barbs that adorned the yahg spear, stopping just short of her own body.

The huge yahg stood frozen in place for a time, and Shepard was strangely captivated by the spear blade as it did a slow spin in front of her and then disappeared back into Chu’Tak’s torso as it was yanked back through.

Shepard met the ground again, her legs buckling under her as she dragged air back into her lungs, but she didn’t take her eyes off Chu’Tak as he fell to his knees before her. The yahg looked down at the mess of his chest like he was stunned he was actually mortal.

Standing behind him, the spear still in hand, stood Gyr’Tun, who strutted into Chu’Tak’s view with a new superiority, twirling the weapon casually.

“You are nothing but an abomination. You didn’t earn your right to lead because your strength was given to you by outsiders in a lab,” he sneered. “Which means this tribe… is _MINE_!” he bellowed.

Around them, the others paused in mid-battle.

Satisfied with the attention from his own, Gyr’Tun swung the spear and removed Chu’Tak’s head with a single massive swipe.

Only heavy breathing broke through the quiet that followed, and Gyr’Tun faced his fellows, his gaze challenging. “If any of you oppose me, do so now, or bend your knee before me.”

After a few exchanged glances, the seven battered yahg yielded to their new leader.

The sounds of gunfire drifted up the staircase.

“They are to cease,” Gyr’Tun ordered one unsteady yahg, who nodded silently but paused as Jack stood in his way, her eyes still blazing with the unleashed aggression Cerberus had cultivated within her.

“Let him by, Jack,” Shepard said, softly, and though her fiery biotic friend didn’t let the tension leave her body, she wordlessly stepped aside. Jerking her chin at Garrus, Shepard was thankful he understood what she had little energy to say, and accompanied the yahg; the two of them eyed each other cautiously as they went, neither letting their guard down.

Though Gyr’Tun faced her, Shepard had something more important to address first, and she limped over to Kaidan who was re-emerging once more, though his eyes remained squeezed shut. She could feel the sharpness of his migraine as he tried to communicate with her.

 _Don’t speak,_ she soothed. _It’ll be over soon._

Wrex gripped the shaft that pinned Kaidan, but Shepard rammed her palm into his chest plate. “No. You remove it and you’ll cause more damage. We need to cut through it; let Chakwas take it out in the medbay, safely.”

“You must have a tool for this,” Liara spoke to Gyr’Tun, her tone promising him pain if he didn’t give her the answer she wanted.

Though the yahg’s mouth went taut at that, he merely turned his head to a delegate, who went out of the room through one of the hidden entrances. Within a minute he returned with a long baton-looking thing that he hefted onto his shoulder and aimed towards Kaidan.

All of Shepard’s team, including herself, raised their weapons towards the yahg. They were all a little twitchy right now.

“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you to be very careful,” she warned. Diplomacy was probably called for here, but she wasn’t feeling it. She’d had enough. All she wanted was to get Kaidan and the others back to Normandy so they could go home and start planning their ‘planet-jumping’ trip with Rorie and Nate. Just the thought of them made her warm inside, and even Kaidan was able to grasp onto that, his hand reaching out to her blindly. Shepard encompassed it in her two, jerking slightly as the laser spurted noisily from the yahg’s device.

It may have looked cumbersome and basic but it performed the task, rapidly shearing through the shaft. Then the hot, cutting stream was directed into the wall around Kaidan. It was a longer task to cut through the stone, and James and the others had re-joined them now, though none of them were relaxing anytime soon.

Everyone was still on edge, and Shepard could feel the impatience from Gyr’Tun as he watched and waited. But she could only focus on Kaidan, his face pallid from the blood loss and pain. They had to wrap this up quickly.

It was a huge relief when Kaidan came free of the wall, and Wrex was right there to brace him.

“Cortez. I need you at our position, now. Kaidan’s injured and I need you to get him back to Normandy a-sap.”

“ _Yes, Ma’am_.” That was it; no question about whether it was safe to bring the Sand-tiger right into the yahg city – he just trusted it was and she’d make damn sure he was right to.

Pinning Gyr’Tun with her gaze, Shepard walked right up to him, stopping a little too close. “I’m going to return your communications. It’s in your best interests to ensure that no one fires on that craft, because there’s a whole fleet of ships trained on Ujarak right now, just waiting for a reason to fire.”

With the barest nod from Gyr’Tun, Shepard told Edi to cease their comm interference. The yahg went over to the large desk and snapped out orders her translator had yet to comprehend, while Wrex and James began to haul Kaidan towards the stairs.

“He will be fine, Shepard, but I will ride back with him,” reassured Liara, and Shepard nodded gratefully.

“Go,” snarled Gyr’Tun, when Shepard and the others didn’t move to follow behind them.

From this proximity Shepard could smell the yahg: a dankness like wet leather. “I don’t think we’ve come to an understanding yet.”

His eyes squinted. “We have. I could have waited until Chu’Tak had finished you before striking. You owe your life to me.”

“We saved you all from being mindless soldiers for the leviathans instead of just taking the easier route.” She pointed to the air, indicating those fleets. “We’re even.” Not that bringing their species to extinction had ever truly been an option, but the yahg didn’t need to know that.

Her shoulder was throbbing so badly it was beginning to make her nauseous, while everything from her elbow down was still numb, but Shepard ignored it as best she could. A line had to be clearly drawn.

“No more. This ends here, today, or we will fight without quarter to protect ourselves and our allies.”

“Or you’ll wipe us out?” he sneered. “We understand. You have numbers, ships and technology in your favour – our existence is apparently in your hands, and we should bow before you.” His chest was heaving with barely-contained anger.

“No. Past events should have proven to you that we have no interest in seeing the yahg destroyed or enslaved. All we want is peace. We wouldn’t be here now if Chu’Tak hadn’t been driven by revenge. The yahg are safe from us so long as you keep to yourselves.”

“You expect me to trust you?”

“As much as we trust you, sure,” she admitted. “We’re both going to have to find a little bit of faith in each other.”

Wrex and James reappeared, both of them silently indicating that the pick-up had been successful.

“You are not like us,” the yahg stated. “You think you can co-exist with other species. The yahg bend to accommodate no-one. Your…mercy…makes you weak.”

“We know who we’re dealing with in the yahg. It’s why we’ve put a back-up plan in place. I’m not going to divulge exactly what that is, but suffice it to say that if you force our hand, we will initiate it, and it’s likely to bring the wrath of every rival tribe down on you.”

It was where her fellow Spectres had come in. Who better to send alone into hostile places than the galaxy’s elite? Each had infiltrated every tribal city on Parnack, large and small, and gained access to their internal systems, planting dormant viruses. It gave them an ability to cause havoc in a way that the physical confrontation-loving yahg would find underhanded, and any ‘evidence’ would lead them right back to Ujarak.

“Civil war,” growled Gyr’Tun. “You’re bluffing.”

“No, I’m really not.” There was a darkness in her soul that Shepard allowed out. It seeped into her features until there was nothing but ferocity radiating out to burrow into the yahg before her. She moved even closer, almost nose to nose with Gyr’Tun. “My family was threatened, and I _won’t_ let that happen again. _Don’t push me_.”

There was a long moment of study before the yahg took a step back, regaining his space. His expression was thoughtful and almost impressed. “It seems we were wrong about you, human. Perhaps you _are_ worthy of being our equals.”

“Maybe one day you’ll be worthy of joining us. But not for a long time yet. You’ve still got a lot to learn.”

“Humility, for starters,” muttered Garrus.

Gyr’Tun didn’t take kindly to the notion that the yahg weren’t good enough, but he emitted only a low rumble of dissatisfaction that gave Shepard some hope for their future relations, should they ever come about. Just maybe, Gyr’Tun would be the ‘Wrex’ the yahg needed to evolve them beyond little more than apex predators. Time would tell.

Extending the only hand Shepard had feeling in, she waited while Gyr’Tun stared down at it in suspicion, then slowly mimicked her. It was a little awkward. And strange. But she shook his hand firmly.

“Goodbye, Gyr’Tun. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope I never see you again.”

With his concurring grunt, she walked away, the others falling in behind her as she radioed for Clay to bring the shuttles in for them.

Despite the pain in her thigh, every step felt lighter as it took her closer to leaving. There’d be a bit of medbay time in her immediate future, for sure, but having Kaidan there would make it easier to bear, and best of all they’d be heading towards the Citadel.

Outside, she made a conscious effort to ignore the large crowd of yahg circling the area, else she might have paled at the sight of so many hostile faces. Showing any sign of weakness now would be a potentially lethal mistake. So she concentrated on the sound and sight of the first descending shuttle, doing her damnedest to appear like she and her people had every right to be standing so brazenly there.

Sliding the hatch open, she waved on the first group, counting them off in her head to ensure she had everyone. Massani’s smirk almost tempted her to accidentally leave him behind. Instead, she waited for him to alight and slammed the hatch shut in his face, banging loudly on the metal to indicate Hackett’s pilot was good to go.

Clay was flying the second shuttle, and he drifted it in smartly as soon as the first vessel had lifted away.

“You’ve got some unique biotics there, babe,” Aethyta aimed at Jack, seemingly quite at ease despite the current environment. “Why pussy-foot around when you can sledge-hammer everything? I like that.”

“You’re not too bad yourself, old lady.”

Aethyta froze in stride. “Old!? You won’t look this good when you’re my age, that’s for damn sure!”

“You may look young, but your mind’s shot.” Jack gave a rough laugh at baiting the matriarch while she jumped into the shuttle.  

Putting her hand out to stop Aethyta before she could follow or retort, Shepard gave the asari a raised brow.

“What’s the matter, honey? You want some alone time? Never done anything quite so public before, but as it’s you I’m game….”

“Jack’s right: you’re crazy if you think I’m going to let you leave with that. It stays here.”

Aethyta looked crest-fallen as she looked down at Chu’Tak’s head cradled in her arms, gruesomely dripping trails of blood down her armour. “But it’s the perfect gift for all those stuffy matriarchs back home. I never got to freak them out after Little Wing and Hot Stuff obliterated the last Shadow Broker. This is my second chance – it’s meant to be!”

“It’s _meant_ to remain here, for the yahg to do…whatever with. This isn’t a trophy hunt. Give it back.”

“You’re killing me, Shepard!”

“ _They_ might kill you if you try to take it. Put it down.” Keeping a stern face wasn’t easy with James and Garrus cracking up in the background, but she managed it.

Aethyta heaved a sigh. “Fine.” Stomping towards the onlookers, she offered the severed head to the closest yahg, who didn’t seem to know what reaction to have beyond accepting it. “You’re turning into Liara,” she grumbled to Shepard on the way past. “No fun.” Clambering into the shuttle, Aethyta plonked herself between Gardew and Cael, giving them both a once over. “What about you two? Know how to have fun?”

Shepard was last on, sending one last nod to Gyr’Tun before she closed the hatch and joined Clay at the front of the shuttle with a deep breath.

“We don’t take heads, either,” Cael was answering Aethyta, apologetically.

“Not once,” backed up Gardew. “But I did take a rather nice upgrade from a Cerberus agent’s rifle once.”

“Well, look at you, you daring hunk.”

Shepard quietly enjoyed the sarcasm in Aethyta’s voice as she settled in the co-pilot’s seat with her thoughts directed at Kaidan. He was at her periphery, distracted but wonderfully present, and she sensed his head was clearing as the meds fought back his migraine.

_Hey, Beautiful. You okay?_

She smiled. He sounded so good. _Shouldn’t I be asking you that?_

_I’m on Normandy. You’re still on a planet full of yahg._

_Leaving it as we speak, so never mind me -_ you _got skewered._

_Yeah, it’s a little disconcerting looking down right now, but the Doc says it looks worse than it is; the blade missed anything vital, and I can’t feel a thing thanks to the meds. Not that I’m looking forward to her removing this thing. But at least I’m being tended to - you’re still in pain._

_What is this? Reverse one-upmanship?_ she teased.

His amusement ran through Shepard like a smooth caress, giving her something to enjoy amidst the teeth-clenching agony in her shoulder and throbbing in her leg. But then she picked up something else in him that she recognised in herself.

_None of that, Kaidan Alenko._

_The knock to my head…. I couldn’t stay with you. I couldn’t protect you._

_It’s not always a choice we have._ Her memory of Nate in batarian hands made her shiver. _Believe me, I know._

_Yes, you do._

Suddenly, she was wrapped in his love, and Shepard sighed out in contentment as she sank deeper into the seat and watched the grey clouds disappear into the star-kissed void of space. _All that’s important now is that we made it. It’s over._

_And I’ve got a lot to catch up on._

Shepard couldn’t resist. _Well, if you will insist on snoozing on the job…._

_Ouch! My pride!_

Smiling along with him, Shepard’s pulse quickened at the sight of Normandy growing larger before them.

“Look at all of you prime specimens,” declared Aethyta, loudly, pulling Shepard reluctantly back into the shuttle. “Who’s up for an orgy?”

Clay choked beside her, and glancing back, Shepard bit back her laughter at seeing her favourite salarian duo craning away from the asari separating them, their eyes even larger than usual.

_Just be glad you’re not here, ‘Hot Stuff’. Aethyta’s in top form and it appears that no-one is safe. Thank the stars I put Wrex on the other shuttle…._

_Small mercies,_ agreed Kaidan.

With his warmth reassuringly encompassing her, Shepard closed her eyes and shut herself off from everything else but him. They were going home.

**-o-O-o-**


	36. Chapter 36

The Mess smelled great as Kaidan poured the last of the good coffee into the largest mug he’d been able to find. With his right arm strapped to his chest to ease the strain on his healing wound, he was doing it left-handed, which was actually more awkward than he’d expected. Still, he wasn’t about to complain; he was damned lucky that spear hadn’t struck an inch to the left or he’d be heading home in a body-bag.

Two crew members passed by and Kaidan happily ignored the envious looks. _Yeah, this coffee is all mine, people, so keep moving._

 _Kaidan Alenko! You shameless coffee hog!_ Terra’s amusement flowed through him with a light that lifted him higher than the superb caffeine ever could. He looked towards the medbay where she’d been having her final operation on the ripped muscle and ligaments in her shoulder, but it was empty asides from the ever-present Chakwas.

“I hope you’ll be taking full culpability when my crew mutinies.” Her voice directly in his ear made his body and his insides jump all at the same time. The woman had a way of sneaking up on him whenever he had the smell of coffee under his nose, usually so he spilled it. This time she’d at least made herself known before he’d picked up the mug, though she knew just as well as he did that he could have ended up wearing it and not cared so long as she was close.

He swung round and captured Terra against his chest as best he could with their bandaged arms in the way. “They’d never leave you, no matter what I did.”

A finger traced his jaw. “So…they’ll just jettison you.”

“Not unless you tell them what I was thinking.” His coffee was getting cold behind him, but he couldn’t care when his real ‘fix’ was right in front of him.

One perfect brow arched delightfully. “Ooh! Leverage!”

He laughed. “Leverage for what?” Leaning in, he kissed an adoring path from collarbone to jaw before looking deep into her chocolate eyes. “We both know I’ll give you anything you want.”

Terra’s shiver was undeniable and he grinned with roguish pride at causing it.

“Say that again,” she murmured, catching her bottom lip between her teeth, and Kaidan fought the urge to lose himself in her right where they were.

Letting his lips brush ever so softly over the smooth skin of her cheek, Kaidan only stopped once he’d reached her ear. “I’ll give you anything you want.”

“Oh, thanks, Kaidan.”

They broke apart like someone had just poured ice-cold water over them. Joker smirked back from the other side of the counter with Kaidan’s coffee in hand.

“Ah, matching slings. How sweet,” ribbed Joker, taking a sip. “Mmm, this is great coffee.”

Scowling wasn’t enough to show his friend just how unappreciated that little interruption was. With only the slightest biotic flare and a flick of his wrist, Kaidan initiated a stasis leaving only the pilot’s hand free.

Taking the mug back, Kaidan finally smiled at Joker. “Much better.” Ignoring the way Joker’s fingers curled into his palm leaving only the middle one straight, Kaidan turned back to Terra, who was bent over, laughing. “Now, where were we?”

When she straightened, the joy reflected in her sparking eyes took his breath away. These were the moments they all cherished. No war; no fighting; no threats. No worries. There was only the promise of a reunion with their two special little people. Terra was unburdened and full of anticipation, and it changed her, inside and out. She was more radiantly beautiful than ever.

Her undamaged arm slid across his shoulders, pulling him back to her. “Right here. And you were about to give me anything I want.” Her gaze flicked to the inert Joker. “Which, at the moment, is not to be watched by a helmsman who’s staring daggers into your back.”

Kaidan sighed. “Yeah, I’m feeling them.” He rolled his shoulders uneasily, then quickly regretted the move which pulled at his wound. “Still, it’s about time he learned: never come between a man and the woman he loves.”

“Strange. I would have said you were more interested in the coffee.” She let him go and tapped the mug he’d held on to.

“Ah.” He could only give her an apologetic look.

“Well…” She began to walk backwards, a slight limp in her gait. _I’m heading up, where I intend to strip, shower, and satisfy this sexual tension you’ve created with that voice of yours - which will be much more difficult with one hand. You could come help, and we can have fun working on our ambidexterity together… or you could stay here and enjoy your coffee while continuing Joker’s lesson._ She shrugged indifferently, while her eyes radiated hot mischief. _Your choice._

Watching her spin elegantly on her heel as heat rushed south, Kaidan was momentarily rendered both speechless and immobile by the image she’d placed in his head. Watching her disappear in the direction of the elevator kick-started him. Ending the stasis on Joker, Kaidan shoved the mug across the counter towards him with an “enjoy”, then raced out of the Mess after his wife before his peeved friend could utter a profanity.

Coffee or Terra? No-brainer.

-o-O-o-

-o-O-o-

_I can see Normandy, mommy!_

Shepard’s pulse was racing so fast she was beginning to feel giddy, and she knew Kaidan was feeling it too as they stepped into the elevator and headed down with an impatience that was making them both restless in the small space.

With an unrestrained laugh, she gave in to the excitement that had infected her, thanks to the two young minds who were now making themselves known within her mind.

Exiting onto the CIC and its energised atmosphere, the need to see the dock where her babies were waiting, propelled her quickly towards the cockpit, with Kaidan keeping pace beside her.

 _It’s really close!_ From the squeal, Shepard imagined Rorie jumping up and down in the dock. And then she caught sight of the tiny figure framed in the docking bay window, with an even smaller one beside her. And they were both bouncing.

“Kaidan…” She bit her lip as emotion filled her eyes with tears. Standing at her back, Kaidan slung his arm across her front, holding her to his chest with his cheek resting against hers as they watched those figures get closer.

“I know,” he murmured, his voice thick.

There’d been so many farewells during the journey that this moment had become something to hold on to. Aethyta, Samara, Kirrahe, Wrex and Grunt, not to forget Gerrel and the geth Prime - Shepard was so grateful to them all for being there when she’d asked. Hell, she’d even shaken hands with Aria and Massani before they’d left for their own ships. Liara had also retreated to her vessel, though she would be docking at the Citadel for that ‘sanity check’, as Kaidan called it. But saying goodbye to Gardew and Cael in the Mess just now had been incredibly difficult, because she didn’t know when she’d next see the wonderful duo who had come through for her so many times now. And soon she’d be faced with the departures of James and Jack, and Knox and Altair, as they returned to their lives. Vid-calls weren’t quite the same as spending time with the important people who’ve put themselves on the line to pull you out of hell and continue to stand by you as you jump in front of more trouble. She was going to miss them.

“Guess it’s back to the day-job,” Garrus exhaled, and Shepard smiled as he joined her side. At least she got to keep the turian, as well as her irreplaceable crew.

“Poor you,” Joker flung back with plenty of sarcasm. “Sitting behind your desk, flinging orders to your minions. I don’t know how you do it.”

“Luckily for you, I have a high level of patience,” retorted Garrus.

They all spluttered out laughter at that.

“Hey! I’m patient!”

“The closest you’ve ever come to that word is when you were _a patient_ in Chakwas’ medbay,” chuckled Joker.

“Shepard! Back me up here!”

“To be fair, Garrus _has_ managed not to kill the Council yet,” Shepard defended, dutifully.

“It’s true,” agreed Kaidan. “Just having the _occasional_ dealings with the Council was enough to send my teeth grinding. Garrus has to tolerate them on a near-daily basis.”

“Okay, okay,” conceded Joker. “ _Saint_ Garrus Vakarian it is.”

“How does he still make it sound bad?” griped Garrus.

The whole little distraction had worked to fill the excruciating seconds it had taken Altair to dock Normandy, and with the _thunk_ of the clamps engaging on the ship’s hull, Shepard moved to the airlock.

As soon as it opened, Rorie was there, surrounded by a whirlwind of joyful energy, and instantly Shepard and Kaidan were on their knees and anchored to their daughter as she threw an arm around each of their necks.

.

 

This physical contact would always surpass even their incredible mental link, because it meant they were truly together.

Nate had followed Rorie as fast as his little legs could manage, and he burrowed into their huddle to make himself the centre of the hug.

And now their family unit was complete. It didn’t get better than this.

-o-O-o-

Shepard had her eyes closed as Kaidan manoeuvred her through their apartment door. Her heart thudded in her chest like she was about to face a Maw.

“Okay,” said Kaidan.

After a slight hesitation, she let the vision in. And frowned.

“It…looks exactly the same.” Confused, Shepard circled on the spot mid-way between the apartment’s kitchen and lounge, until she faced Kaidan.

He’d said the renovations had been completed – that they’d had people working round-the-clock to get it done. Yet when she’d walked in, she couldn’t see anything different at all.

And she wasn’t disappointed by it. Relieved, even. But also still afraid, because it was all still so indefensible, and that knowledge weighed down on her oppressively.

Kaidan cupped her cheek as tenderly as the look he gave her. “This place needed to stay the same. Because it was Anderson’s. I still remember the day we walked in here together, and Anderson called in from Earth, amidst all the fighting, to bestow it to you.”

Tears sprang up in Shepard’s eyes. Trust this man to understand her so well. “It’s all I have of him.”

Kaidan nodded. “So, it stays the same. Which doesn’t mean you have to feel insecure. The changes just needed to be unseen.” Taking her hand, he kissed her knuckles – a small gesture that still managed to start her insides fluttering. He led her into the study area. “Seal study – test only.”

With a swift swoosh that made Shepard jump, metal doors slid across the opening, sealing them in. And Shepard felt the pressure lift from her. “A safe room.”

“Nothing’s getting in here without a lot of heavy firepower,” assured Kaidan. “And it’s not just this room, either. The guest room, and the upstairs bedrooms all have the same protection.”

“And I can seal them wherever I am, because it’s all voice-activated.”

“Or you can do it through your omnitool, should you need to keep silent. Upon activation, C-Sec’s immediately made aware.”

She imagined how much safer Nate would have been had she been able to seal him inside that bedroom before the batarians had gotten to him, and it gave her huge peace of mind to know she could do so now.

“Kaidan, this is perfect.”

“Good. But I’m not done yet. The fact is, what’s been done in here is merely an added precaution.”

“Added?”

“I think you’d agree that it would be better if no-one unauthorised gained access in the first place.”

“Agreed.” She wondered where he was going with this.

Kaidan unsealed the room and Shepard followed him out, through the kitchen and back to where she’d first stopped to take in the lack of visible changes. There, Kaidan indicated towards the corridor outside.

“The security starts out there. You can’t tell, but the hallway has been rigged with the best detection system Edi could devise. As soon as someone steps into that space, they’re scanned. Extensively. For weapons and identity. Within seconds, anyone not already authorised is run through C-sec’s database for an instant background check. Anyone not on their system, or already tagged as criminal, will be brought to C-Sec’s attention. You’ll be notified via the internal system, or omnitool.” He faced her. “The system is also activated by heat signature.”

Shepard understood what he was silently saying: not even a Shanti could infiltrate it. “You’ve really thought of everything.”

“I had a lot of help. Garrus helped me work out what we needed, Edi was instrumental in designing the program itself, Daniels and Donnelly took charge of the project while we were off the Citadel, and of course Bailey and Kolyat assisted in integrating it with C-Sec’s systems. The aim was to cover every base so you could truly relax. So our home could be your haven again.”

“Kaidan?”

“Yeah?”

She gripped his waistband and tugged him to her. “Thank you.”

“Told you I’d give you anything.”

Her lips whispered over his. Then she had a thought. “Wait a minute. We share the corridor with another apartment.”

“We used to. That apartment came up for sale, remember? So, I bought it. You were so focused on our own front door coming in that you didn’t notice the other apartment door has gone. We own the entire floor, and this is the only entrance.”

Closing her open mouth, Shepard followed Kaidan once again towards the front stairwell. Only then did she notice that the wall had been knocked through.

Decorated to complement their existing décor, the new space still had its lounge, dining and kitchen layout, as well as the downstairs guest room, but the rear living area had been altered to house not only a bar like their own, but also a large pool-table for added entertainment. A card table sat centre-place of where the study had once been.

This was a place for entertainment; a place for their friends to really let loose. Shepard loved it.

Moving upstairs, she found the lay-out just the same as their own. The master-bedroom had been done out in Alliance-blue – Rorie’s favourite colour – and all her things now adorned the space, complete with her signed _Blasto_ picture on the wall. The en-suite had a raised bath in place of a hot-tub, though from the fittings it looked like bath-time would be just as bubbly-fun for the kids. And one thing she had noted was the almost imperceptible sign in the entrance’s frame, that the metal door waited, should she need it.

But she never would. Kaidan was right: all of this internal security was just here to give her added peace of mind. And it worked, because those doors were something solid she could see, as opposed to the unseen work of the scanners out in the corridor.

Stepping back into their original apartment through the second knock-through at the top of the stairs, Shepard found that Rorie’s old room, which was right next to her new one, was now all Nate’s. His cot and toys no longer had to share the space, and it was ready for him to grow up in – the walls plain and neutral until he could choose his own colour.

“Oh, I did change the downstairs guest room on this side now that we have two in the new extension….”

Looking curiously at Kaidan as she passed him to descend the front stairwell again, Shepard walked into the aforementioned room to find a fully-equipped gym.

“You really have out-done yourself, General.” Her smile had grown with each step she’d taken through their home, and she couldn’t have vanquished it if she’d tried.

Kaidan’s widened in reflection. “You’re happy.”

Shepard laughed. “Very.”

A slight frown wrinkled his forehead. “I was a little worried about that balcony, though. I mean…it was too big an aesthetic change to remove it, but…I know it brings an awful image with it.”

“It won’t ever happen again. Look at everything you’ve done to ensure that. And I also have distinct memories of standing atop that balcony, looking down at all our friends. So, I’ll hold onto those tightly, and let that one bad one fade away.” Sinking against this amazing man, Shepard sighed contentedly into the warmth of his neck. With a thought, her smile deepened. “You realise we’ve got a lot of room-christening to do now….”

“Funny, I was just thinking the same thing,” he chuckled, softly. Whisky eyes appraised her with heated love. “I have to say, I’m looking forward to it.”

Their lips met, tender at first, then more intently. Hungrily.

“You two can eat later, amigos!” Vega’s mirthful voice heralded the arrival of everyone else. Their ten-minutes head-start was up, and of course these guys were ‘authorised’ to come right in. Jack’s hand was entwined in James’, and it made Shepard happy to see the two still so into each other. “I’m going to cook up a feast that would make my abuela proud. Right after we’ve done a tour of this place.”

“Fancy teaching James that lesson on interrupting?” Shepard muttered to Kaidan.

“Hm. I don’t know…. Food sounds good.”

Feigning a disgusted look, Shepard made a sound to match. “You are such a biotic.”

“Guilty,” he surrendered, with a grin that flipped her heart.

“Okay, I give up. You might want to check out the bedroom there, first, James” suggested Shepard, knowing he’d be smitten with the new gym.

“Lola! I know Bella and I are insatiable but we can wait five minutes!”

“You don’t want me, _right now_?” challenged Jack, her eyes hooded with seduction, making James swallow hard.

Opting to ignore them, Shepard caught Rorie in mid-leap. “Hey gorgeous. Go take a look at your new bedroom. First door when you turn right at the top of the stairs.”

“Come on, Aunt Jack!” Rorie wriggled down to the ground, grabbed Jack’s hand firmly in hers leaving the ‘psychotic biotic’ no choice but to relinquish James from her thrall, and ran excitedly up the stairs. “WOW! I LOVE IT!”

“Now that’s a happy kid,” grinned Kaidan, making a funny face at Nate who was tottering in on his own two tiny feet until his dad’s expression made him chuckle so hard he lost his balance. On his six, Garrus righted him before he hit the floor.

Grand-parents traded stories of their shared grand-kids’ exploits; Clay and Adams were talking engines with Nate at their feet, apparently taking it all in; James and Garrus began trying to one-up each other over their yahg encounters as they went to check out the gym; Liara was trying to divert Eden’s attention away from her study of Edi’s ‘form’ and her questions of why the AI wouldn’t rather float like Glyph than have to balance on two legs. The others were lost in the crowd of exploring feet and faces, chatting and laughing.

Shepard and Kaidan stood together, surveying the small horde of friends and family who had accompanied their children.

She nudged him with her hip. “I guess we have to put the christenings on hold.”

Kaidan nodded, resignedly. “Still, something to look forward to.”

They shared a mischievous grin.

“Let the extended-house-warming party begin!” Joker’s exuberant declaration, as he affectionately slung his arm around Altair’s shoulders, was answered with a resounding cheer.

-o-O-o-

-o-O-o-

“Come on, daddy! We’re waiting to start!”

“I’m here. Go for it, honey.” Kaidan perched himself on the back of the sofa next to Terra.

They’d only been back from their ‘planet-jumping’ for a total of two hours before Rorie had demanded an audience for her picture-sharing, so here they were – or at least those few who weren’t busy working or off the Citadel, back to their usual routines. That left Garrus, Kolyat, Edi, Traynor, and a morose-looking Joker.

Proudly, Rorie began to start her slideshow, while Edi entertained Nate on her lap by opening a panel in her fore-arm, displaying the circuitry inside, and hence fascinating the youngster.

“First, we went to Two-Chuka.”

“Two Chuka? Doesn’t exist,” stated Joker.

“Does! Look!” argued Rorie, pointing at the lop-sided image she’d taken of Liara, Feron and Eden looking every bit the family against the krogan landscape.

“That’s Tuchanka.”

“That’s what I said!”

“No you didn’t.”

“Joker,” nudged Garrus. “She’s five. What’s your excuse?”

“Hey, she’s got to learn, right?”

Rorie carried on, apparently choosing to ignore Joker, and Kaidan silently cheered her decision. He made a mental note to teach her how to execute a stasis, imagining there’d be a need for many more in Joker’s future if he kept that up.

The screen changed to Rorie’s two krogan uncles who had clearly never been forced to smile for a photo before, judging by their oddly goofy expressions.

“We stayed with Uncle Wrex and Uncle Grunt for two days.”

Two days too long in Kaidan’s opinion. Tuchanka was no holiday destination, nor would it be for a very long time, with its heavy-handed, ryncol-loving inhabitants. To add to the challenge, Aethyta had shown up for a surprise visit, and Liara had ended up on a mission to keep her wayward father and Urdnot’s chief apart so she wouldn’t have nightmares for the rest of her life. That had been a couple of sleepless nights.

The next snap-shot Rorie had taken made Kaidan want to wince. She’d somehow managed to capture Wrex and Grunt in what looked like a rather compromising position with a varren.

“What are they doing with that animal?” queried Edi, her head turning horizontally as she stared at the screen. Joker snorted.

“Risky question,” frowned Garrus, as he peered at it dubiously. “I’m not sure I want to know what those two do in their free time.”

“Perhaps they are training it,” suggested Kolyat, weakly, though he looked more perturbed than Garrus.

“Now that’s an eye-opener,” quipped Traynor, her hand over her mouth.

Kaidan cleared his throat. “Uh, I should at this point tell you that they were attempting to get the varren to regurgitate Puppy.” Terra was quietly laughing at his side.

“Uh huh!” grinned Rorie. “Nate was silly and gave Puppy to Urz, and he thought it was dinner! So Uncle Wrex and Uncle Grunt had to rescue him! It was funny. And yucky when Urz sicked.”

“Ew!” Joker knocked the toy varren off his lap where Nate had placed it. “What’s wrong with you people!? Haven’t you heard of hygiene? Who knows what diseases that things got now! Jeez!”

“I can guarantee you, after the number of decontamination cycles that thing’s been through, Puppy is cleaner than you, Joker,” quipped Terra, retrieving the toy and handing it back to a bemused Nate.

“Puppy had quite the adventure,” sighed Kaidan. He’d been hoping to erase that image forever from his mind.

“Then we went to Pallyvan!” announced Rorie, moving them on to Garrus’ home-world.

“Thankfully, a much calmer few days,” added Kaidan.

“I joined them for that trip,” Garrus said, proudly, like the others hadn’t known.

“Oh really?” questioned Joker. “On Pallyvan? I don’t think so. Another place that exists only on the tongue of Aurora Alenko.”

“Stop it, Jeff.” Edi had an impressive scowl on her flawless face. “Aurora is doing her best.”

“All right,” surrendered Joker with a huff. “But don’t come crying to me when she’s getting teased by the other kids for talking gibberish.”

“I do not cry, Jeff.”

“I know,” he drawled, shaking his head.

“Is something wrong with Moreau?” Kolyat murmured at Kaidan.

“The absence of Flight-Lieutenant Altair,” he quietly confided back. “It’s been three days since he’s seen her.”

Traynor leaned in on Kolyat’s other side. “And a whole day since he’s spoken to her,” she whispered.

Yes, they were making light fun, but Kaidan also thoroughly understood the pilot’s glumness. Unfortunately, the man had yet to work out how to quit inadvertently declaring his aching heart with his attitude.

Then another picture came up that made Kaidan do a double-take. Teryck Vakarian was at the edge of the picture, Nate in one arm and Eden’s hand in his, but it was Garrus pinning down a turian while an armed military response bore down on them both from all directions that was the central focus.

“I thought you said Palaven was calmer…” Traynor’s brows lifted as high as they could go.

Kaidan exchanged a glance with Terra, who looked equally as surprised as he was, before they both turned to Garrus. “You went out to look for a place that catered for humans so you could get the kids ice-cream.”

“And we did,” Garrus defended, weakly.

“It was yummy!” smiled Rorie.

“Um…something you omitted to tell us, Garrus?” Terra asked the squirming Executor.

Groaning, Garrus dragged his hands over his face under the pressure of their stares. “She had to take a picture of it,” he exhaled into his palms.

Joker was grinning wildly, utterly enjoying this unexpected entertainment. “Someone’s busted.”

Garrus sighed. “It was my father’s fault. He spotted an escaped suspect from a big drug bust. The guy’s face was plastered on all the billboards we passed. Idiot was just strolling through the plaza like he wasn’t a wanted criminal. Dad called it in, but then the perp noticed our attention and started to run. He could have gotten away,” Garrus reasoned.

Kaidan studied the scene Rorie had captured. “There’s half an army in that photo!”

“All of that for one drug-dealer with no brains?” gaped Terra.

“I know. Completely over-the-top, but that’s how it’s done on Palaven. Looks impressive to civilians, and scares the cra- uh, the _fight_ out of the suspect.”

“He was a very naughty man,” explained Rorie. “Uncle Gus said he wasn’t letting him get away, no matter what!”

“Did he now?” Though Terra sounded unimpressed, Kaidan could tell she was putting it on to make Garrus nervous.

Their turian friend tried to laugh it off, but anxiety strained it. “It’s not what it sounds.”

“I believe that photo would be classed as ‘evidence’, _Executor_ Vakarian,” teased Edi.

“And why exactly didn’t you tell us?” Kaidan asked.

“Look at that!” Garrus flung his hand towards the troublesome photo still displayed. “Even _I_ freaked out when I saw the force they sent in for that guy, rifles primed - with Rorie, Nate and Eden within range. Afterward, I figured there was no harm done, so why unsettle you all unnecessarily.”

“More like: no harm done unless you tell the parents, in which case _you’d_ be harmed,” laughed Joker.

“That too,” admitted Garrus.

“It was exciting!” declared Rorie. “Uncle Gus was cool!”

Garrus straightened at the compliment; pride re-claimed. “Thank you, Rorie.”

“Not cool enough to tell us,” admonished Terra. She fixed her disapproving gaze on their daughter. “And why didn’t _you_ tell us, young lady?”

“Uncle Gus said it could be our secret.” Then she gasped and covered her mouth. “Uh oh.” She looked up at the image she’d captured and looked guiltily back at Garrus. “Sorry, Uncle Gus.”

“Don’t worry, kid. I’ll survive.” Garrus peered back at Kaidan and Terra, cautiously. “Right?”

Kaidan struggled not to laugh. Now that the shock had worn off, he could see the funny side that Joker had found from the beginning.

“I’ll forgive you,” said Terra. “This time. Do _not_ keep me in the dark again, Vakarian.”

Garrus was visibly relieved. “Got it.”

“Of course, I can’t speak for the Shadow Broker…” she added, pointedly.

“Don’t envy you that conversation.” Kaidan slapped a commiserating hand on the turian’s tense shoulder. “And I have to say, I’m amazed you got your father to keep quiet, too. He’s so ‘by-the-book’.”

“Actually, he was the one who suggested it in the first place. Never seen him look so worried when he realised the situation he’d created around the children. I’m pretty sure he thought you’d use those Spectre powers to shoot him.” Garrus shook his head in amusement at the thought of Teryck’s concerns.

Kaidan grinned over at Terra. “Are we that scary?”

“When our babies are at risk? Hell, yes,” she answered, honestly, but with only a shadow of menace in her voice.

Garrus cleared his throat again. “Anyway. Shall we carry on, Rorie?”

The images changed once more, from sandcastles on a Kahje beach with Nate laughing in the centre, to a hanar who was pretending to be Blasto but without the gun in his out-stretched tentacles, and Rorie matching his pose - the photo reminded Kaidan of an old Charlie’s Angels poster, if a lot more bizarre.

He was fairly certain that he wasn’t the only one holding his breath with each flick of the screen, in the nervous expectation of some other crazy image coming up.

Earth was next. There were a few pictures of feet, and lots of Eden looking every bit the carefree child with none of her usual seriousness, as she played in his parents’ orchard with Rorie. Kaidan had noticed the change in the young asari with every trip, and that was also true of Liara and Feron. The responsibilities of the Shadow Broker had gradually loosened its grip and the two lovers had actually been able to relax and enjoy life, Eden, and each other.

After several more random snapshots of someone’s dog, and a worm wriggling its way back into the ground, the scenes changed to a far less familiar one.

“Where’s this?” asked Kolyat, leaning forward in interest.

“From the two suns, I’d say that was Shantou,” guessed Traynor.

“Uh huh,” smiled Rorie. “I liked the Santi a lot. But they do cheat at hide and seek,” she added, gravely.

Kaidan burst out laughing. “What did we tell you? It’s not cheating, it’s just how they hide.”

There was an image that Terra had taken of Eden and Rorie trying to explain the rules of their game and the confused looks of the Shanti children circling them at the concept of hiding without blending into their environment. It was a cultural difference that simply didn’t translate no matter how hard Rorie had tried.

But seeing the memories of Shantou on the wall of their apartment still managed to bring back the sense of absolute peace they’d all found there. Their first contact had been a regrettable one, but Kaidan was pleased they’d been able to maintain relations with the Shanti. Knowing such a sincere people existed in the chaotic galaxy was something his children could find great hope in.

“I’m with you on that one, Pip-Squeak,” decided Joker. “Definitely cheating.”

“Uh huh. They even changed to look like Eden!”

While Kaidan sighed patiently, Terra re-lived the moment with laughter in her voice. “Rorie must have been searching for a good ten minutes before she realised she was being trailed by three ‘Eden’s’. Her face was priceless!”

“It’s not funny, mommy,” frowned Rorie. “It’s cheating!”

“What’s next?” Garrus prompted, and saving the peace.

“Tess- Fess-“

Kaidan smiled at his daughter’s attempt to pronounce the asari name. She could never get it right. “Thessia.”

“Uh huh.”

The screen changed to a view that made Traynor gasp. “Are those…flowers? They make the ground look like it’s alight!”

“Uh huh. They’re called Fess- Tess-“ Rorie scrunched her face up in frustration.

“Thessian…” Terra helped her.

“…Flames!” finished Rorie. “They smell super-lovely.”

The next photo was a field of lilac flowers that filled the screen.

“They have lots more of these flowers there than they do here. Auntie Lara called them… Kimi-dalla’s!” She beamed at remembering the name.

“They’re beautiful,” appreciated Traynor.

“And special,” confided Rorie. “When you give them a secret, they close up and keep it forever.” She moved onto the next image of over twenty flowers with their petals folded around each other, sealing the usually-tubular openings after she’d whispered her secrets into them. “I told secrets to all of these ones!”

“Shame she didn’t tell one of those flowers _your_ secret, Garrus,” ribbed Joker.

“What was that, Joker? I think my translator’s stopped working,” huffed Garrus.

Kaidan leaned into Terra, keeping his voice low. “Should we be worried she has so many secrets?”

“Wait until she’s sixteen, then worry.”

The thought alone made Kaidan feel pale and completely unprepared. “Oh God.”

“Deep breaths, Handsome.” Terra patted his knee. “We can always sequester her to Shantou.”

“So she can confuse the locals even more?” Kaidan chuckled under his breath, while he watched Rorie flick through her pictures of them all on Thessia. Liara can really come alive there, taking great pleasure in showing them her home-world’s hidden treasures, and it showed in every image Rorie had captured of her.

The last picture was of the four of them. Liara had taken this one. He and Terra were sitting side by side as close as they could get, with Nate cuddled on Kaidan’s lap, and Rorie on Terra’s, and they were all laughing together. It resonated in Kaidan. He knew how it felt to be with his family, but he’d never imagined half of what he felt could possibly be visible to anyone else. Yet there it was, frozen on screen.

“Wow…” uttered Terra, emotion catching the word. “That’s a great picture.”

“Yes,” smiled Kolyat. “That’s how I always see you all.”

“Ditto,” said Garrus, and Traynor nodded. “Thanks for letting me be a part of it.”

“Yeah,” agreed Joker. “Hey, great job with the slide-show, Pip-Squeak.”

Rorie couldn’t have looked happier as they all applauded her.

They had had a fantastic time together, and Kaidan knew that ‘planet-jumping’ would become a new tradition in the Shepard-Alenko household which would undoubtedly include the extended family. Which was just fine.

Terra grasped Kaidan’s hand and he drew it to his lips. Being home was wonderful, too.

o-O-o-

The sound of the club’s music was muted where they sat, and Kaidan reclined in his seat with one arm swung along the back of Terra’s. Joker, Cortez, Traynor and Garrus had joined them for the evening, along with James - who’d just gotten back from Earth.

Everyone had been surprised by the appearance of Liara, who had opted to take the opportunity to baby-sit while allowing Eden to have a sleepover with Rorie. From the raucous laughter emanating from Rorie’s room when they’d left, Liara was likely going to have her hands full all evening.

Kaidan smiled as a song he recognised only too well began playing. Turning to Terra, he saw the twinkle in her eye and the tug at the corner of her mouth, and he stood and offered his hand. “Care to dance, Beautiful?”

“Uh, you’re not serious, are you?” worried Joker.

The tug spread to a full smile.

“Do I have to beg now?”

Ignoring Joker, Terra stood, her eyes fixed on his, and Kaidan loved the way she looked at him.

“Think of our reputations!” called out Joker, desperately.

Kaidan enjoyed Terra’s laugh as they walked to the centre of the room and faced each other.

As one they began to move. This was the woman they should all have seen. He’d never understood why someone as lithe as his wife could appear so clueless on the dancefloor. When he’d asked, she had simply shrugged and said she’d never had the chance to learn, growing up on ships. So he’d set her a challenge, to which she’d reciprocated, and their dance lessons together began. Just as he’d suspected, with the right tuition, she was a natural. Not so much for him, but having her as a partner was enough to get him moving the right way.

Losing himself in the feel of her beneath his hands, Kaidan let his head dip so their faces were as close as possible. Occasionally their lips brushed, yet he refrained from kissing her, as hard as it was. His hands slid from her hips to caress her belly and back as she half-spun away and back into his arms again, never losing contact.

It felt like they were in perfect synchronicity. They were – mind and body. They had a unique bond which made him luckier than every single human in existence and through the ages, who had ever loved someone as completely as he did Terra.

Then he realised the music had come to an end. The dance was over.

Arm-in-arm, they returned to the others, who were staring at them with open-mouths and incredulous looks.

“What have you got to say to that?”

“Uh…I think we just watched you making love,” said a disturbed-looking Joker.

Garrus nodded, as equally perturbed. “It felt wrong, but I couldn’t take my eyes away.”

“That was…beautiful,” Cortez said, sincerely.

“I had no idea you could both dance like that,” admitted Traynor.

James grinned. “Think I could get Bella to do that?”

“No,” came the unanimous answer.

“But I’d pay to watch you ask her,” smirked Joker.

Kaidan was pleased to see that Terra’s face was as flushed as his. “Let’s get out of here,” he whispered into her ear, enjoying the smile that undeniably said ‘yes’.

Leaving the club to the sound of knowing whistles and cheering, Kaidan was grateful to step out of the noise and bustle, and into the serenity offered by the Presidium at night.

He looked up at a sky of stars that were artificial but no less beautiful as it mirrored the galaxy beyond. Out there, it was a little calmer, and a little less fractured than it was before because of what they’d done. And they’d come through the worst of times together, yet again.

Pausing at the lake’s edge, Kaidan gathered Terra closer. As much as he wanted her, there were times when you just had to stop and appreciate the quiet times.

The ability to just exist together in the peace of this moment was a luxury they’d earned, and he intended to savour every second.

**-o-O-o-**

**THE END!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Your final thoughts would be greatly appreciated.  
> Thank you to everyone who stayed with me till the end, and for all the kudos'! My utmost gratitude goes to those who left comments. Your words kept me going, and this story got written because of you. :)


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